Kiss of Frost

Chapter 27

"Gwen?" a soft voice called out to me. "Gwen, wake up."

A hand gently shook my shoulder, snapping me out of- of wherever I'd been. I opened my eyes to find Logan crouching in front of me, his ice blue gaze full of concern.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked. "Nickamedes told me what happened with Preston. He and the others were worried about you. They're out looking for you, along with Daphne, Carson, and Oliver."

I let out a bitter laugh. "I must have really freaked them out if Nickamedes was worried about me."

I leaned my head back against the base of Nike's statue. Logan looked at me a second, then sat down on the cold floor beside me.

"You want to tell me what happened? What you saw?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I needed to talk to someone about what I'd seen when I'd touched Preston, when I'd looked into his horrible memories. I couldn't think of anyone better than Logan. After all, I'd seen the Spartan's memories, too, when I'd kissed him-I knew he'd understand.

"Yeah, I'd like to talk about it," I said. "But to really understand it, first I have to tell you some other things about me. Things you don't know."

"Like what?"

I drew in a breath. "Like the fact that I'm Nike's Champion."

I sat there and told Logan everything, starting from the first time I saw Nike that night in the library when we'd both been fighting Jasmine and her Nemean prowler. The Spartan didn't say a word while I talked. He just sat there and let me get it all out, let me get all my fears, feelings, and hurts out there in the open. And I told himeverything- about seeing my mom's murder through Preston's eyes, that Metis and my Grandma Frost had known about it the whole time, that they'd kept the truth from me, what Nike had told me about the broken seals on Loki's prison, how my mom had hidden the Helheim Dagger, and that Nike had asked me to find and protect the dagger from the Reapers who were looking for it.

After I was done, Logan sat there for a minute, thinking. Then he grinned at me. "You really have a talking sword?"

I rolled my eyes. "Trust you to be a total Spartan weapons geek and focus on Vic."

I leaned over and lightly punched him in the shoulder. But we both laughed, and I felt just a smidge better.

"I'm sorry about your mom," Logan said in a quiet tone. "I know-I know what it's like to lose your family, to lose someone you care about so much."

The image of him as a boy standing over those two bloody bodies filled my mind, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I looked at Logan, wanting him to tell me what had happened that day, how he'd lost his mother and sister, and why he thought knowing about it would make me think less of him. Would make me think he wasn't the hero I knew him to be.

He didn't say a word.

Logan opened his mouth, like he was going to tell me, but then he shut it again and looked away, a haunted, guilty expression on his face. I stared down at his bare hand, which was just an inch away from mine. I knew if I touched him right now, if I reached over and took his hand in mine, my psychometry would kick in. And then I would see and feel what Logan was remembering right now-and I'd finally discover his secret. Why and how he'd lost his family-and the reason it was keeping us apart. The reason it made the Spartan doubt himself and who and what he was.

I cared about Logan somuch,and the temptation to do it was so strong.

But then I remembered what both Professor Metis and Nike had said about free will, about how the choices we made defined who we were. I didn't want to use my magic to find out Logan's secret. I wanted him to trust me enough to tell me about it, just the way I trusted him. And if I had to wait a little while longer for him to do that, then that was okay. My feelings for him weren't going to change, my caring about him no matter what wasn't going to change.

"I'm glad you came looking for me," I finally said. "Here tonight and back at the ski resort."

Logan gave me a crooked grin. "I'll always come looking for you, Gypsy girl."

He hesitated, then reached over and put his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he tightened his other arm around me, careful not to touch my bare skin.

We stayed like that for a long, long time.

The next day after classes, I slipped off campus and went to visit Grandma Frost. We sat on opposite sides of the table in the kitchen, but for once, the bright furnishings failed to cheer me up, and the scrumptious raspberry pound cake that Grandma had just baked sat uncut and untouched between us. She knew why I was here. After Logan had found me in the library, I'd talked to Metis and told the professor exactly what I'd seen when I'd touched Preston's hand, all the talk about the Helheim Dagger and all the awful, awful memories that I'd witnessed of him and the Reaper girl murdering my mom. Metis had called my grandma and told her everything. Now I wanted answers- about a lot of things.

"I want to know what you know about Mom's death," I finally said, my throat closing up. "About her murder."

Grandma stared at me. Then she sighed. "Gwen-"

"You might as well tell me," I interrupted her. "It's kind of hard to keep secrets from a girl with psychometry magic, don't you think? Especially since Metis asked me to use that magic to dig through Preston's brain in the first place."

She winced, but she couldn't argue with me. Not about this.

"How did you find out what really happened to Mom? Or have you always known?"

Grandma fiddled with the silver coins on the edge of one of her purple scarves. "Your mom was late coming home that night. Much, much later than she said she was going to be. I started to have this feeling that something bad had happened to her, one of my psychic flashes-this cold, aching dread in my heart that just wouldn't go away. So I called Professor Metis and asked her to go out and look for Grace. Even though your mom and I had left the warrior world behind, we were still in contact with Aurora. I'd seen an image of a car in the rain, so I was able to tell Aurora where to start looking. She did as I asked, and eventually, she found your mom… "

Her voice trailed off for a moment, tears shimmering in her eyes, and I remembered that Grandma had lost her only daughter and that she'd loved my mom just as much as I had. Suddenly, I realized how awful that night had been for her, too-especially since she'd seen part of it, thanks to her Gypsy gift.

Grandma drew in a breath. "Aurora came to the house, but I knew what she was going to say even before she told me: Grace had been murdered by Reapers. We thought it was just payback from the Reapers. We didn't know exactly why they'd targeted your mom until now."

"But Metis knew, too? That Mom had been murdered this whole time?"

She nodded. "We both thought it was best to keep the truth from you, pumpkin. Your mom… wouldn't have wanted you to see her like that. She wouldn't have wanted you to remember her like that. Never like that."

"But why keep lying to me? Especially after I started going to Mythos?" I asked.

"Because you didn't know anything about Reapers, Loki, and the Chaos War. Your mom and I shielded you from that world, and Aurora and I thought it would be better to ease you into things, rather than hit you with everything all at once. That's why I've let you keep visiting me, even though I worry about you leaving campus." Grandma Frost sighed. "But mostly I didn't want you to hate Mythos or who and what you are because of what happened to your mom."

I snorted. I'd hated everything after my mom had died, especially the fact that I'd had to leave my old school and my old friends behind and start going to Mythos.

"Where you ever going to tell me?" I asked. "You and Metis?"

Grandma shrugged. "We hadn't thought that far ahead. We were mainly focused on making sure that you were safe at the academy. But things haven't exactly worked out like we'd planned."

No, they hadn't. I'd been almost killed by Reapers twice now, and I imagined that I'd be in even more danger when I started searching for the Helheim Dagger-and the Reaper girl. Loki's Champion. She was looking for the dagger too. I knew she was.

"What about the dagger?" I asked. "Did you know that Mom had hidden it? Do you know where it is?"

Grandma Frost shook her head. "No. I knew about the dagger's existence, but that's all. I had no idea that Nike had asked Grace to hide it, and I have no idea where your mom would have left it. I would tell you if I did, pumpkin. I swear I would."

Grandma reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. A surge of truth filled me at the touch of her fingers against mine, along with all the love she had for me. The gentle warmth wrapped around me like a blanket, as if it could protect me from all the bad, scary, evil things out there in the world. Now, though, I knew that not even Grandma's love could do that.

"I hope you can understand why we kept it from you," she said in a low voice, her violet eyes dark in her wrinkled face. "It's hard enough to lose someone you care about. Having your mom die in a car accident seemed like it would be kinder to you than the truth. Easier to bear."

The funny thing was that I did understand. Grandma Frost and Professor Metis had just been trying to protect me. But I was Nike's Champion now, and the goddess had given me an important mission. They couldn't protect me anymore, even if I'd wanted them to. And yeah, part of me really wanted them to. Part of me wanted to go back to the beginning of the year, when my mom had still been alive, and just stay there forever. Part of me would always want that, but it wasn't meant to be-and that was the hardest thing of all to accept.

"I understand why you did it," I said in a quiet voice. "But you can't keep lying and not tell me things because they might hurt me. The Reapers are going to come for me no matter what you do. Keeping secrets from me is only going to make it that much harder for me to fight them."

"I know, pumpkin," Grandma said. "I just wanted you to feel safe for as long as I could. No more secrets, I promise."

Once again, I felt the truthfulness of her words move through me, and I knew we were going to be okay. We would get through everything that was to come just like we had my mom's death-together. As a family.

Despite the pain I felt over learning what had really happened to my mom, I squeezed Grandma's hand and smiled at her. "You know, that cake you made looks awfully good."

Grandma grinned back at me. "Well, let's dish us up some pieces and see just how tasty it really is. What do you say?"

This time, my smile was a little brighter. "Sounds like a plan to me."

I ate a piece of cake with Grandma, who wrapped up the rest of the treat for me to share with Daphne, and rode the afternoon bus back to the academy. Half an hour later, I found myself back in the creepy prison in the math-science building. I stood there staring at the stone-and-iron door, trying to stay cold and calm.

"Are you sure that you want to do this, Gwen?" Professor Metis asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to. After what you saw yesterday, I wouldn't blame you. Neither will Ajax or Nickamedes."

She'd tried to hide it, but I'd seen how worried the professor was about the possibility of the Reapers finding the Helheim Dagger and freeing Loki-and I knew what I had to do. If there was even a chance that Preston knew something that would help me find where my mom had hidden the dagger, then I had to take it. That meant I had to touch him again, had to dig into his memories once more- no matter how many ugly things I might see.

"I'm sure," I said. "I want to do this. I feel like I'm supposedto do this. Besides, self-sacrifice is what being a Champion is all about, right?"

Metis gave me a sad smile. In that moment, I got the feeling she knew a lot more about self-sacrifice than I did.

"Before we go in, there's one thing that I need you to do," I said. "Don't keep any more secrets from me, okay?"

The professor raised her eyebrows. "That works both ways, Gwen. Don't go chasing off after any more Reapers by yourself. Agreed?"

I sighed and nodded at her. "Agreed."

I jerked my head at the door and the two sphinxes who were staring at me once more, listening to every word we said. "Now, can we get this over with before I lose my nerve?"

Metis unlocked the door with her skeleton key, and we stepped inside the prison. Preston sat chained to the table in the center of the dome, right under the carving of the hand holding the set of scales. Coach Ajax and Nickamedes flanked him just as before, and Raven sat at her desk, her combat boots propped up on top of it, flipping through another gossip magazine.

Once again, the Reaper looked up at the sound of my footsteps on the floor.

"Back for more, Gypsy?" Preston sneered and held out his hands to me, palms up. "Go ahead. Use your magic on me. I'll be happy to watch you run crying from the room again."

I kept my face cold and impassive, although my stomach twisted and vomit rose in my throat at his mocking words. I could do this. Iwoulddo this-for Nike, for my mom, and for me, too.

I sat down across from Preston and stared him straight in the eyes. That burn of red still flickered in his gaze, but this time, I knew there was fire in my eyes as well-cold, purple fire.

"Listen up, you arrogant punk," I snapped. "The only one who's going to be crying is you, when I dig through your memories and use them to round up all your little Reaper friends, including the girl who killed my mom. I'll be coming down here and doing that again and again, every single day if I have to, until I get every last one of them. Until I've seen every last evil thing you've ever done in your miserable life."

The sneer slid off Preston's handsome face. His mouth tightened with worry, and for a moment, panic sparked in his gaze instead of hatred. Yeah, I'll admit that flash of fear made me happy. In my own way, I supposed I was just as dark and twisted as Preston was, except I was going to use that part of me to help other people, not hurt them like he and the other Reapers had.

"And you know what the worst part is, Preston? The very worst part?"

"What?" he asked, his voice cracking on that single word.

I leaned forward, keeping my gaze on his. "There's absolutely nothing you can do to stop me."

I don't know what Preston saw in my face then, what coldness might have filled my eyes, but whatever it was, it penetrated the Reaper's sullen demeanor. His mouth dropped open, and then, he started screaming.

"No," he said, trying to twist away from me. "No, no, no!"

I ignored his screams, grabbed his hands, and reached for his memories.