Kiss of the Wolf

BRUNO

I was going to give Joanie a ride to her mother’s for her kid’s confirmation party, I couldn’t, I had to show this Korean every single fucking thing about a Dodge Dart we had on the lot, a trade-in from 1901. He wants to see all the paperwork, he wants to climb underneath it, he wants to go through the buyer’s manual like he’s prepping for a space shot. The manual’s so old it’s coming apart in our hands. It’s six-forty-five and he’s not buying today, we can see that, but he’s not going anywhere, either.

This is a Buick dealership. I’m wearing a Buick pin. We’re surrounded by Buicks. Showroom floor is wall to wall with them. The guy goes, Do you sell Buicks here? I go, No, we give ’em away. That’s how we stay in business: giving away free Buicks.

This guy couldn’t decide on a shitbox Dodge Dart, there’s no chance in the world he’s going to spring for a full-ticket Buick.

He goes, Are they dependable cars?

I go, Look, Boulder Dam shut down a few times last year. You want me to guarantee a lousy six-thousand-dollar car?

He’s taking all this in, giving it some hard thought. The minute hand’s going around. He wants to know, Do they come with automatic transmission and air at no extra charge? I tell him, You bet they do. Not only that, but we throw in a free dinner and tickets to a Broadway show. What’s he think we’re running here, a raffle?

We’re standing around talking afterwards in the office, and Cifulo’s giving me this look, and I’m watching the clock while this guy sips his coffee and stares into space. The missus is sitting there with him and clearly has veto power but doesn’t say boo. I’m making conversation, so I ask him if he’s Japanese. Big mistake: turns out he’s Korean. The missus is miffed.

Afterward Cifulo gives me grief about it, so I tell him, What, that’s better? Far as I’m concerned, they’re boat people with an attitude. They got here earlier, they’re better? I say no. They run dink grocery stores, three dollars for a banana. There’s one guy on Barnum Avenue, I still don’t know his name, SHIMSI, the sign says. What is that? Two names? His name? BUY OUR FOOD? One thing’s for sure: you want to get some service, don’t ask Kato behind the counter.

Cifulo tells me afterward I was rude to them. This imbecile moving two units a month, if he’s lucky and his family comes in, is telling me how to run my business. I told him, What are you talking to me for? You watch Steven Seagal movies. Out for Violence, Revenge Is Mine—whatever they’re called. I told him, Steven Seagal? The man wears a ponytail? Is this the Revolution? And Sea-gal: what is that? The guy’s not a Jew anymore? And what are you, what are you, Bishop Sheehan? Mother Teresa?

So it turns out I couldn’t give Joanie this ride.

They talk about ups and downs in the car business, but we been down a while. I’m always high man for monthly sales, but what is that? Every day we stand around the showroom like CYO kids waiting for the party to begin.

Now on toppa that I gotta worry about this Monteleone thing.

Things are gonna go wrong. It’s not like things are always gonna go right. The key is how we deal with it. How do we act? I say, I can’t control everything. But I have to deal with it.

Joanie, for example. I coulda pushed it the other night, after that kiss. I wanted to push it. But it’s not right.

You got to have a little class, a little understanding of the way to do things. In Italy, the old gentlemen, they cultivate tratto, you know, a elegance, a way you handle yourself, conduct your affairs.

She’s coming around. She doesn’t know it, her mother doesn’t know it, nobody probably knows it. But she’s coming around.

There will be setbacks. I understand that. Remember: if it isn’t one thing, it will surely be another. What’s important? Your attitude.