Like a Virgin: Secrets They Won't Teach You at Business School

NICE GUYS CAN FINISH FIRST

Perhaps I give the impression of being a ‘nice guy’ but, one way or another, one philosophical question I am frequently asked is whether or not nice guys can finish anywhere but last in the dog-eat-dog world of business.

The question usually goes something like this: ‘I have been trying to get my business off the ground, and I often feel that I have to get very aggressive with suppliers and service providers. I hate being aggressive, but have come to believe that only very aggressive people get ahead. I hate it more when my success (and survival) is hampered by others who don’t perform as they should. How have you handled this in Virgin?’

Let’s consider the issue of aggression. There are lots of ways to get your point across and make your business successful without being aggressive. Always remember that you love what you do and your role is to persuade others to love your business, too, and, therefore, to want to work with you.

I like to think that we are successful at Virgin because we engage with everyone in a positive, inclusive manner rather than in an aggressive, combative or negative way

If the companies or individuals you deal with do not respond to a positive approach, ask yourself if they are the companies you should work with. For every supplier out there that is aggressive, there are another five that will want to work with you – in a way that allows you and your business to be true to a more inclusive and positive partnership.

I agree that a strong personality is a great asset when starting up or running a business, but ‘strong’ doesn’t have to equate to ‘aggressive’. The key skills are confidence in your ability to follow your vision, the ability to listen to others and the art of delegation.

It’s often hard to get past your own feelings of frustration when dealing with others. Delegating to a member of your team brings a fresh pair of eyes and ears and often a different approach and perspective.

One of my key lessons over the years has been to surround myself with great management teams who complement me and ensure that we have the all-round skills to make our businesses succeed. Our chief executives at Virgin Group and businesses like Virgin Active, America, Atlantic, Trains and Money have built strong businesses blending their personalities and skills on top of the Virgin culture I helped found.

As for negotiation: the key is to remain calm and collected. If you are getting angry, take a deep breath, realise you are taking it too personally and take a step back. Rely on those around you to help you out. Teamwork will usually carry the day..

You can negotiate competitively without aggression. Understand what you want to achieve and what leverage you possess to help you reach your goals. Less aggression and more determination is what you need.

I often find, after a tough set of talks, that it is good to go out for a drink and get it off your chest! You may have a sore head in the morning but relying on and confiding in your team will often help you put everything in a clearer perspective.

Entrepreneurs have to make tough calls. Does this require a ruthless streak? I don’t think I’m ruthless (although a few people who have never met me have portrayed me that way!). Actually, it is counterproductive to be ruthless. People tend to come back and do more business if they feel they have done well with you. Over the years this attitude has helped me to attract and keep good partners and staff.

My willingness to listen to other people and accept it when their suggestions are better than mine has served me well during my forty years in business. I’m never too proud to admit I’m wrong or take action when others’ suggestions are better.

Remember to have fun. There is no point in being in business if it is not fun. Have fun with your team, your suppliers and the companies you work with. It is so much more rewarding to build up a healthy rapport than to find yourself in a constant battle. Don’t take everything so personally. Let your hair down now and again.

And as to who finishes first or last, does it really matter? I for one would far rather be a nice guy working with great people having fun with a small successful business than a miserable guy heading up a hugely profitable multinational mega-corp.

But that’s your call.