Live and let Drood

CHAPTER TEN

I was ready to go straightaway, but Molly would have none of it. She folded her arms tightly and gave the Regent her very best I see right through you look, before bestowing an equally harsh glare on Patrick and Diana. All of whom, to their credit, stood their ground and smiled pleasantly back at her.

I am really not happy that you ve been spying on us all this time, Molly said flatly to the Regent. Why would you do that?

Because Eddie is my grandson, said the Regent, entirely unfazed. I wanted to see him in action, to see if he really was everything the reports made him out to be. And I have to say, I am very impressed, Eddie. Allowing yourself to be taken prisoner like that so you could get close to Crow Lee And, of course, now that you have a real chance of going after our family, I have to go with you.

Why? said Molly bluntly.

The Regent smiled and spread his hands, almost helplessly.

Anything for the family.

All right, Molly said reluctantly. I ve been around Eddie long enough that sort of makes sense, but what are they doing here?

She jerked her head at Patrick and Diana, who just smiled pleasantly back at her. I looked at them, too. At the way they stood together, like they belonged together and always had. I still couldn t shake the feeling that I knew them from somewhere, that there was something familiar about them.

These are my two top Special Agents, said the Regent. There s no one else I d trust more to watch my back in a perilous situation. After all, it s been a long time since I was out in the field. I might be a bit rusty.

Patrick and Diana both started to laugh at that, only to turn their laughter into entirely unconvincing coughs as the Regent looked at them sternly.

Exactly! said Molly. No offence, Regent, but you re a bit long in the tooth for this. We don t know what kind of dangers we ll be heading into. We can t carry passengers.

She does have a point, I said. We have no idea what kind of world Crow Lee has sent the Hall into, except, knowing him, it s hardly likely to be anywhere pleasant. There s no telling what kind of opposition we ll be facing.

In our game, the Regent said calmly, in the hidden world of secret agents and unnatural enemies, you get to be as old as me only by proving very hard to kill. I think you ll find I can keep up and look out for myself.

Molly gave up on him and turned her glower on me. Are you sure you want to do this, Eddie? Take an old man and two strangers into an unknown situation?

I know, I said. You re completely right, of course. But I just have this feeling that they belong here. That they have a right to be included.

Molly threw both hands up in the air and actually stamped a foot.

Oh, well! That s fine! Everything s going to be all right because you have a feeling!

I had to grin. You re always telling me I need to get in touch with my feelings.

This isn t what I had in mind! Oh, hell. Just get on with it. Before I get a rush of common sense to the head.

So! the Regent said cheerfully, rubbing his old hands together. How are we going to do this, Eddie?

Actually, I said, I m still working on that. As a wise man once said, I m making this up as I go along. We start with the Merlin Glass.

I took out the Glass, and the Regent and Patrick and Diana all crowded in for a good look. I turned the silver-backed hand mirror back and forth, and it gleamed innocently in the sunlight.

I sort of thought it would be bigger, the Regent said finally.

It will be, I said.

I tossed the hand mirror into the air before me, and it immediately shook itself out to the size of a door, hovering just above the grass. The Regent and his agents made pleased and impressed noises, but I had a suspicion they were just being polite. Where the mirror reflection should have been, the Glass was now showing a blank, colourless emptiness that actually hurt the eye if you looked at it too long.

I thought it was supposed to show a silvery tunnel or passage, said the Armourer Patrick. That s the usual sign of an interdimensional interface. Not that there is a tunnel, of course, silver or otherwise; it s just an image your brain supplies because the mind is too limited to cope with what s actually there.

It s not showing anything at the moment because it s between settings, I said, trying hard to sound like I knew what I was talking about. I haven t supplied the Glass with the correct arrival coordinates yet. And for that I need this: Crow Lee s remote control.

Space and time, Molly said suddenly.

Hold on, go back, go previous. I ve just had an idea.

Oh, that s always dangerous, I said.

Hush, you. Could you set the Glass to send us back into the past? Then we could arrive in the other world, immediately after the Hall and your family arrive there!

I have thought about that, I said. But this is going to be a difficult enough jump as it is. I have no idea how this remote control works or even exactly what information it holds. So I really don t want to add any unnecessary complications. Except for this.

I showed them the Drood compass I d acquired from the tomb in Egypt.

A compass? the Regent said, politely.

Preprogrammed to point to Droods, wherever they might be, I said. This will point the way, and the remote will supply the exact arrival coordinates. Between the two of them, they should get us there.

Are you sure about that? said the Regent.

I smiled as convincingly as I could. The remote knows where the Hall is, so we follow the remote. And the compass. And if you know any good prayers or deities, now would be a good time to lean heavily on them.

I hefted the control in my hand. Just a simple box with a whole bunch of coloured buttons, none of which I felt like messing with. I pitched the compass through the Merlin Glass, which swallowed it up immediately, and then the remote. The grey nothingness pulsed quickly in a way that made me feel oddly seasick for a moment, and then it became the standard silver tunnel. I let out a breath I hadn t realised I d been holding and relaxed just a little. If that hadn t worked

At least now we had a destination. The Regent turned to Patrick and Diana and nodded briskly, and they both grinned widely. Suddenly they were both holding really big guns that had appeared out of nowhere. High-energy weapons clearly derived from alien tech.

Where did you get weapons like those? I said sharply to the Regent.

Oh, you know how it is. Some of my chaps just picked them up, the Regent said vaguely. It s amazing what some people leaving lying around. Behind locked doors in secret laboratories. They clearly didn t appreciate them. And whilst the Shadows, and now the Uncanny, are quite definitely mostly information-gathering organisations, sometimes, you just have to be ready to lay down the law.

Ready to rock and roll! Patrick said cheerfully.

Ready to kick bottom! said Diana. She smiled suddenly at me. You re not the only one with access to pocket dimensions and really useful toys.

Told you, the Regent said to Molly and me.

Let us go now, and let the bad guys beware.

Patrick smiled fondly at Diana. Just like old times, isn t it, dear?

Ah, the good old days, said Diana. Was there always an evil mastermind to overcome in some secret lair, a monster to destroy and a conspiracy to put down, and still home in time for tea?

I looked at them both for a long moment. Something in the way they smiled at each other, in the way they held themselves

Do I know you? I said bluntly. Have we met before? There is something very familiar about you.

Time for the social chitchat later, the Regent said firmly. Concentrate on the mission. We have a family to rescue. Everything else can wait.

What about you? said Molly. Are you going to grab a really big gun out of midair, too?

I have a few tricks up my sleeve, the Regent said modestly.

It s true, said Patrick. He does.

I m often amazed he has room in there for his arms, said Diana.

Oh, hush, children, said the Regent.

He strode towards the Merlin Glass and its waiting silver tunnel, and Patrick and Diana fell quickly into step behind him, guns at the ready. Molly and I hurried after them, and I made a point of taking the lead. It was my Merlin Glass, my plan, and whatever we d be facing, I was determined to face it first. Even if I didn t have my armour anymore. I hefted Oath Breaker in my hand. The long ironwood staff still felt unnaturally solid and heavy, and I found that reassuring. I stepped carefully through the hovering Glass and into the silver tunnel, and there were the compass and the remote control, hovering on the air ahead. I moved forward and they drifted on before me, and step-by-step they led me through the silver tunnel between the worlds. Molly stuck close to my side, and the others stuck close behind us. This wasn t somewhere you wanted to get lost.

As the compass and remote moved on, worlds flashed and flickered into existence before and around us, come and gone in a moment, like walking through a pack of shuffled playing cards, giving brief glimpses of other dimensions, other Earths, other Halls.

There was Big Hall, an immense single structure that covered the entire grounds. Acres of stone walls under miles of roof with thousands of windows. The whole place just hummed with activity, with an army of people coming and going, hurrying about their unknown missions. They all wore golden armour. All kinds of flying machines filled the skies over Big Hall, landing and taking off from dozens of busy landing pads, scattered across the vast roof. They flashed back and forth in carefully conceived patterns, often coming within inches of one another but never once colliding, moving like the very best regulated clockwork. There was a real sense of purpose to it all, of everyone playing their part in some grand important scheme.

Next came Small Hall. Drood Hall as it had once been back before the family grew so big we had to add on four more wings. Small Hall was just the original central building from Tudor times, with its black-and-white boarded frontage, heavy leaded-glass windows and jutting gabled roof. The grounds stretched away around the Hall, open and empty. No lake, no hedge Maze, no unicorns or gryphons, and no sign of Droods anywhere.

Two small suns burnt hotly in a deep purple sky over Alien Hall. The air was unbearably hot and humid, dragging in the lungs, even for the few moments it took us to walk through it. Alien Hall was a huge, organic structure, seemingly as much grown as constructed, a strange shape made up of unnatural curves and shadowy hollows, its angles forming patterns that made no sense at all to human eyes. All over the smooth, shiny exterior swarmed golden-armoured creatures, almost human in shape but not in nature or in movement, as they darted in and out of hollow mouths in the side of the Hall. There was something of the insect in their behaviour, and the whole place had more the air of a hive than a home.

A dim red sun in a grey sky shed a murky bloodred glare over Machine Hall. A massive steel cube with no doors or windows, just sharp projections and waving antennae, strange undulating patterns and endless flashing lights. Vehicles in solid primary shapes moved smoothly all around Machine Hall, in a single complex pattern. The few golden figures to be seen were quite clearly mechanical. The grounds were just empty stone flats stretching away; empty and without shape or purpose.

And then there was Magic Hall. In this version, this Earth, Drood Hall was a castle in the grand old style, complete with towers and turrets and crenulated battlements. Flags and pennants flapped bravely in the gusting wind under a perfect cloudless summer sky. Great open lawns surrounding the castle were covered with gleaming white tents and colourful pavilions, and the golden figures strolling back and forth had the aspect of knights from medieval legends. Winged unicorns flew back and forth above the castle, and golden-armoured figures waltzed happily on the air among them.

The Hall as Camelot, I said, pausing for a longer look. The best of us, perhaps

The Pendragon, King Arthur, has returned to Castle Inconnu and the London Knights, said the Regent. I shall be most interested to see what happens next.

Boys and their knights, said Molly. I ll never be a maid-in-waiting.

Camelot lasted only a few decades, I said.

The Droods have endured for centuries. We might wear armour, but we were never chivalric.

I followed the compass and the remote, which had waited obligingly, and Magic Hall disappeared, lost in the shuffle of so many realities, so many variations on the Drood family.

And then the world turned, there was a blinding flash of light and the compass and remote dropped out of the air to land at my feet. I quickly stooped down to pick them up and stuff them in my pocket. And only then looked around me. The Merlin Glass had already shut itself down, zipping back to hide in my pocket dimension, as though it didn t care for its new surroundings. I didn t blame it.

Can the remote get us out of here? said Molly.

Almost certainly not, I said. All it possessed were the arrival coordinates. We need the Hall and Alpha Red Alpha to get home again.

Now you tell me, said Molly.

She armoured up, taking on the exaggeratedly feminine aspect of Moxton s Mistake. And the more I looked around me, the more I missed my armour. Patrick and Diana were already standing back-to-back, guns tracking this way and that in search of a target. The Regent of Shadows just beamed happily around him as though he were on holiday and determined to enjoy every moment of it. I took a firm hold on Oath Breaker.

We were standing in the middle of what I decided to call a jungle, because I had to call it something. There were no trees, no vegetation; instead, massive gnarled and whorled growths erupted out of the ground, rising, twisting and turning as though they had been forced molten from the ground and then hardened in the air. They rose high above us, hundreds of feet tall, sprouting branches here and there, twisted and knotted things that thrust out to challenge and interlock with one another. A tiny sun shone fiercely in what we could see of a sick green sky, the light forcing its way down through the canopy overhead. The gravity was distinctly heavier than I was used to and the light had a strained, sour quality. The air was so thick and wet I had to struggle to breathe the stuff. There were things moving in the shadows surrounding us on all sides, and none of them looked pleased to see us.

It took me only a few moments to realise there were loud noises, roars and screams and explosions, off to one side, and not far off at all. We all looked in that direction.

I say we go that way, said Molly.

It does sound like my family, I admitted.

Molly strode off in the direction of the destructive noises, smashing her way through the alien growths in her rogue armour. She didn t look for a path or an opening, just forced her way through with brute strength. The gnarled and knotty growths were no match for Moxton s Mistake. I knew how it felt to wear armour like you re walking through a world made of paper so why go around when it s so much easier to go through? You have to learn to treat the world with respect, because it can always surprise you. Molly hadn t had the armour long. I just hoped it hadn t gone to her head. Molly was dangerous enough in her own right.

I made a point of walking right behind her in the trail she d opened up. Ready to watch her back, because in her current mood she probably thought she didn t need to. Patrick and Diana hurried close behind, guns constantly moving, ready to target anything that looked threatening or even overcurious. And the Regent just strolled along behind like a retired gentleman on his day out, enjoying the sights.

We d barely been moving a few minutes before really unpleasant-looking creatures emerged from the alien jungle to attack us. Hopping insectoid things came first, with glowing green carapaces and dark faces with clacking, complex mouth parts. They sprang all around us, bounding and leaping with horrid speed high into the air before plunging down at us with clawed hands extended. Many-legged crawling things shot out of the shadows, curling and coiling and doing their best to snake around our legs and drag us down. They had great sucking mouths with needle teeth. And squirming blobby things just fell on us from the lower branches. One dropped right onto Molly s golden shoulder and tried to cling to her neck. It scrabbled and skittered there for a moment, unable to get a hold, and then Molly grabbed it in one hand and squeezed till the living pulp shot out between her golden fingers.

Patrick and Diana blew away the hoppy things with great speed and enthusiasm, and the air was soon full of flying innards. We all stamped on the long-legged things, and they made high wailing sounds as they burst messily underfoot. Anything that got too close I smashed out of the air with my ironwood staff, and whatever Oath Breaker touched exploded. It didn t take long for the alien wildlife to get the message, and we went the rest of the way observed but unmolested.

The Regent was still strolling along quite happily, hands in his pockets, taking a great interest in everything, and I couldn t help noticing that none of the alien life went anywhere near him. I pointed this out to Patrick, who just nodded solemnly.

Why? I said.

Because they wouldn t dare, said Diana.

It didn t take us long to reach the clearing and the Hall. From the look of it, the Hall s sudden arrival in this world had blasted a massive clearing out of what I was still thinking of as the jungle. Broken and blasted parts of alien growths were scattered all around us, littering the perimeter of the clearing. I stopped at the very edge and looked the situation over carefully. The Hall, Drood Hall, that I had once been so sure was destroyed and lost forever, that part of me had still been sure I would never see again, stood there before me, solid and upright, in the middle of a half-mile-wide clearing. A shimmering barrier hung in the air surrounding the Hall, roughly halfway across the clearing.

The Hall was under siege from all sides by huge and monstrous creatures. They came slamming through the jungle, smashing through the twisting growths as though they weren t even there. Overpoweringly huge, bigger than the Hall like hills with eyes, and mouths big enough to swallow an underground train. Packed with hundreds of jagged teeth, each of them bigger than a man. The ground shook with every step the monsters took, and there were so many of them, the earth never stopped shaking, like an earthquake. Like it was afraid. The monsters roared and howled and screeched, as though someone had given horror a voice. And an insane voice at that. Vast muscles rolled under shiny skins like great slow waves. Monsters, big as houses and bigger, whose shapes made no sense, whose limbs just sprouted from scaly sides and leathery sockets with too many joints. Claws that gouged the earth and left deep trenches. Eyes that blazed like the sun, and swirling sets of things that might be sensory organs, whose nature I couldn t even guess at.

I had to look up at them. They were so large they probably didn t even know I was there. But they knew the Hall was there, and they hated it. They pressed constantly forward, screaming and crying out and slamming against one another in their eagerness to get at the Hall. They tore and clawed at one another, but their vast misshapen heads never turned aside from the Hall. Only the shimmering barrier held them back. They would not cross it, would not touch it. The last barrier between them and Drood Hall.

Dozens of golden-armoured figures defended the Hall. In armour covered with vicious spikes, with hands extended into long blades and heavy axe heads, Droods guarded the perimeter, standing just outside the shimmering barrier, cutting at everything that came close. Something in the cool, measured way they fought, preserving their strength, suggested to me that they d been doing this for some time. Probably ever since the Hall first arrived here. Golden blades sheared through monstrous flesh and dark steaming blood flew in the air, but nothing they did seemed to make any real impression. The Droods were just so small in comparison to what they were fighting.

A huge distorted head slammed down and snapped up a Drood in its jaws. He was caught, half in and half out of that terrible mouth, the heavy teeth grinding fiercely but uselessly against his armour. The jaws opened and closed, trying to saw through the Drood, but all that happened was that several teeth shattered and broke off. The Drood used the extra space to get his feet under him, and then he walked backwards into the jaw and severed the muscles with his golden blade. The creature howled like a fire siren as its lower jaw just dropped down. The armoured man jumped. It took him some time to reach the ground, and when he hit, the sheer impact blasted out a crater and a cloud of dust. When the dust settled he was climbing out of the crater, entirely unharmed. I felt like applauding.

But the monsters were so big, so powerful, and there seemed no end to them. Armoured Droods cut at legs bigger than tree trunks and hardly made an impression.

More golden figures defended the Hall from inside, firing all kinds of weapons from every door and window. Everything from automatic rifles to energy weapons to steam-powered bazookas. Plus a whole bunch of cobbled-together-looking things, probably come straight from the Armoury for testing. The sheer firepower blasting from all sides of the Hall would have been enough to wipe out an army, but the colossal monsters of this world just soaked it up and kept pressing forward. They surrounded the Hall on all sides, looming over it, driven by sheer fury at this alien thing that had dared to enter their world. I wondered if they even knew it was the tiny golden figures that were their real enemy and not the Hall itself. Perhaps only the Hall was big enough to hold their attention.

Do you know what that shimmering screen is? said Molly beside me.

No, I said. Never seen it before. It s not part of the Hall s defences. Maybe some kind of improvised force shield?

I don t think so, said Molly. Looks wrong for that.

We ll find out when we get close enough, said the Regent.

Molly and I turned back to look at him. He seemed entirely serene.

You think we should just go running out there? said Molly. Into monster-snack territory?

I think the family needs all the help it can get, said the Regent. Don t you?

You re wearing Drood armour, Molly, said Patrick. You don t have to worry about monsters anymore.

We re not doing any good just standing here, I said quickly. So I say Go the reinforcements!

I took a deep breath, silently called myself all kinds of idiot and ran out into the clearing, heading straight for the shimmering barrier hanging in the air and the Hall beyond it. Molly was right there at my side in her rogue armour, and I just knew she was grinning broadly behind her featureless golden mask. She put on a sudden burst of speed, leaving the rest of us behind, striking out savagely at the monstrous creatures that blocked our way. Her golden fists gouged great chunks out of alien flesh, but the creatures didn t even seem to notice one more stinging irritant at their feet. Molly s actions worried me. They showed a viciousness I d never seen in her before. And why wasn t she using her magic instead of relying on the armour s brute strength? Was the rogue armour getting to her already, the way it had got to me? I fought to keep up with her, striking out with Oath Breaker. Wherever the ironwood staff struck alien flesh, great slabs of muscle exploded and more than one monster lurched suddenly to one side as a limb buckled unexpectedly. Patrick and Diana stuck close behind, maintaining a devastating rate of fire and keeping anything from getting too close to us. And the Regent just trotted along behind us, puffing gently, still smiling that interminable smile.

Molly laughed aloud, delighting in the strength and speed the rogue armour bestowed on her, smashing her way through everything that stood before her. I was disturbed at how quickly she d taken to the armour after all the comments she d made before about how she didn t approve of unnatural sources of power. But it is an undeniable truth that power tends to seduce, and appalling amounts of power Molly took the rogue armour away from me to save me from its influence. Was I going to have to take it back again for her sake?

We were halfway across the clearing now, almost at the shimmering screen. I could see the Hall ahead of us. Huge creatures the size of airplanes cruised by overhead, circling the great clearing, swooping down to attack the Hall on massive wings that briefly blocked out the sun. Droods went up to meet and duel with them, in flying saucers, autogyros, attack helicopters even sitting astride winged unicorns. They darted back and forth, easily evading the languorous movements of the larger creatures, plunging in to attack again and again and blasting the winged creatures with all kinds of weapons. Like golden wasps attacking winged whales.

Huge wormlike things burst up out of the ground inside the shimmering barrier, exploding up and up into the air, sending dark earth flying in all directions. Slimy ringed segments the size of hot-air balloons and with leprous grey flesh rose over the Hall, carrying blunt heads with great circular mouths full of rows of teeth that rotated like meat grinders. The Droods inside the Hall targeted the massive worms with every weapon they had and blew them apart one segment at a time. The slimy flesh soaked up incredible amounts of punishment before the worms collapsed and fell, slamming back to earth inside and outside the barrier. The creatures still outside tore the wounded worms apart and ate them up, all in a few moments.

And inevitably there came a time when the monsters were packed so tight together before the shimmering barrier that Molly and I were forced to a halt. No matter what we did with armoured strength or with Oath Breaker, we just couldn t make any progress. They were simply too big and we were too small. Of course, size didn t mean anything where Oath Breaker was concerned; if I d unleashed its true power, even for a moment, I could have blown whole monsters apart right down to the molecular level. But then, neither I nor any of my party would have survived such an explosion. Using the ironwood staff as a club was a bit like hitting someone over the head with a nuclear device, but it was still safer than the alternative.

Patrick and Diana kept up a steady stream of fire, while Molly and I looked around for another way forward. They blasted anything that got too close, and then they stopped briefly to confer before concentrating their firepower on a massive leg that blocked our way. The vicious energies actually opened up a tunnel through the flesh of the leg, and Molly immediately ran forward into it. So of course I had no choice but to go after her, with the others bringing up the rear. Patrick and Diana kept firing their guns, blasting out more elbow room from the meat walls and ceiling of the tunnel, expanding it as we went.

I couldn t help noticing how well they worked together, as though they d been doing it for a long time. And they certainly seemed a lot more familiar with action in the field than I would have expected, even from the Regent s favourite Special Agents. They were excellent marksmen, too. I never saw them hit anything they didn t mean to. So, professional field agents with a long working relationship who didn t seem fazed by anything they encountered Who were Patrick and Diana, really? And why was I so sure I knew them from somewhere?

We burst out the other end of the meat tunnel to find the shimmering barrier right ahead of us. I yelled for Molly to stop so the others could catch up, and she did, reluctantly. I looked back in time to see Patrick and Diana run out of the dripping tunnel mouth and immediately look around for new things to shoot at. The Regent strolled out after them, and a monstrous foot came slamming down from above and crushed him into the ground. We all cried out in shock and horror, but there was nothing any of us could do. It had already happened; it was over. And then the massive foot lifted up and moved on, and there, in a deep depression in the ground, was the Regent. Sitting up and brushing fussily at his clothes, entirely unhurt. Which was, of course, when I remembered.

Kayleigh s Eye! I said. When that tea lady tried to kill you, the bullets couldn t hurt you because you were wearing Kayleigh s Eye! No wonder you weren t bothered by taking a walk in monster country!

Even as I was saying that, a winged thing dropped down from above, heading straight for the Regent. It was much more our size, our scale, barely twenty to thirty feet in wingspan. The Regent looked up at it, smiling, and suddenly there was a small silver gun in his hand. He aimed carefully and pulled the trigger, and the winged creature just blew apart into hundreds of meaty chunks. The Regent smiled, blew imaginary smoke from the end of the short barrel, and made the gun disappear with a quick flexing of his fingers.

I didn t just bring the Eye, he said easily.

Told you, said Patrick. More tricks up his sleeve than a barrel of conjurers.

I turned away, not trusting myself to speak, and tested the shimmering barrier with one hand. Nothing bad happened, so I just plunged right through it. And the moment I was on the other side, the alien world s heavier gravity fell away and I could breathe again without struggling. The barrier wasn t a force shield; it just marked the spot where alien conditions ended. The Hall was still surrounded by an area of Earth-normal conditions that it had brought with it. The relief was so great I just stood there for a long moment, breathing deeply, a big stupid grin on my face. And then the others came through to join me, so I put on my professional face again and led them towards Drood Hall.

The golden figures at the perimeter, inside and outside the screen, just nodded briefly to us as we passed, concentrating on keeping back the monsters. More armoured figures ran back and forth from the Hall to the barrier, presumably with important messages or more ammunition. They were too busy even to acknowledge us. As we approached the front doors, a single figure appeared, carrying the single biggest and most impressive-looking gun I d ever seen. I was surprised he could even hold the thing, let alone aim it. It was, of course, the Sarjeant-at-Arms. He aimed the gun right at us, and then he saw me, and I swear his jaw actually dropped. I think the whole journey was worth it just to see that. His mouth snapped shut again almost immediately, and he stepped outside and urged us in. He tracked the gun back and forth, making sure nothing had come through the barrier after us, waited till we were all safely inside, and then hurried in after us and slammed the front doors shut.

It was wonderfully cool and calm and quiet in the hallway.

The Sarjeant-at-Arms put down his huge gun, leaning it carefully against the closed front doors. He nodded briefly to me.

Good to see you, Eddie. What took you so long?

I stepped forward and hugged him tightly. It was a bit like trying to hug a brick wall, but I gave it my best shot. Then I stepped back and grinned at him.

Good to see you too, Cedric. You have no idea how good.

Please, Edwin, said the Sarjeant. Not in front of strangers. Who are these people you ve brought with you?

Molly armoured down, and the Sarjeant blinked several times as the golden mask disappeared to reveal her features. But that was nothing compared to the look of actual shock that took over his face when he looked at the Regent, Diana and Patrick. He stepped forward involuntarily, his gaze fixed on the Regent of Shadows.

Dear God, he said. It s you!

Quite, Cedric, said the Regent. Demons in Hell are probably snowboarding even as we speak. But, yes, it s me. I m back. Where is the rest of the Council?

Here, said a familiar voice. All that s left of us.

I looked around, and hurrying down the hallway towards us were William the Librarian and the telepath Ammonia Vom Acht. The Librarian looked his usual tall and world-buffeted self, but he was wearing clothes that actually seemed like he d put them on himself for a change, and with his great head of grey hair and full grey beard, he looked more like an Old Testament prophet than usual. His eyes seemed sharper and clearer than they had in a long time. Ammonia Vom Acht stuck close beside him, giving every appearance that she d been doing that for some time. Medium height, sturdy, with a broad mannish face and a shock of unruly auburn hair, Ammonia had a face so full of character there was no room left in it for anything like good looks. She was wearing her usual battered tweed suit and stout brogues with trailing laces. Her jaw protruded forward with bulldog stubbornness. I noted, with quiet shock, that William and Ammonia were holding hands.

I pointed at them. All right, I said, when did that happen?

But before William could answer, I stepped forward and hugged him hard. The Sarjeant sniffed loudly behind me.

He keeps doing that. I don t know why.

I let go of William, stepped back and grinned at him. You re looking a lot more yourself, William.

Ammonia s been helping me, said William.

I always knew what I really needed was the love of a good woman.

But we couldn t find one, said Ammonia,

So he has to settle for me.

They smiled at each other fondly. The Sarjeant-at-Arms gave me a What can you do? look but said nothing.

The three of us are all that s left to form a Council, said William. And we ve been very busy since we arrived here.

Where s Uncle Jack? I said. Has something happened to Uncle Jack?

The Armourer is down with Alpha Red Alpha, said Ammonia. Hitting it with the science stick, trying to persuade it to work again and get us the hell out of wherever it is we are.

And then we all cried out and jumped back as a vicious snapping creature materialised abruptly in the hallway. Covered in dark green scales, long and Reptiloid with a great wedge head, lots of fangs and claws and a vicious barbed tail that snapped back and forth behind it. Big enough that it filled the hallway from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling, it was actually trapped for a moment, unable to manoeuvre. Ammonia pointed a single finger at the beast and scowled really hard, and all the beast s eyes rolled up in its head. It collapsed, slamming its great length on the floor.

Telepathic bludgeon, said William proudly.

Best kind, said Ammonia.

Yes said the Sarjeant. Luckily, it appears only a very few of these things can teleport, or we d be hip deep in the bloody things by now. Is it dead or just sleeping, Ammonia?

Dead, of course. The telepath kicked the creature in the head a few times, just to be sure. William, get this out of here, would you?

Of course, dear.

William armoured up. I didn t think I d ever seen the Librarian in armour before. He grabbed the long barbed tail and dragged the creature briskly down the hallway to the front doors. He kicked them open and dragged the dead thing outside, where he picked the whole creature up and pitched it right through the shimmering barrier. William came back in to join us, and armoured down.

Why am I always the one who has to take out the trash?

Show-off, said Ammonia. She fixed me with a hard look. Don t even think about hugging me, boy. Why are you so pleased to see everyone?

He thought you were all dead, Molly said briskly.

When this Hall disappeared from the world, another Hall rotated in to take its place. That Hall was a burnt-out ruin, full of dead Droods. It took us a while to figure out what had happened.

Wait a minute, said the Sarjeant-at-Arms.

The whole world thinks the Droods are dead? We have got to get back. With the cats away, the rats will run riot.

Well, yes, quite right, Sarjeant, said William.

But first things first. The Armourer really was very clear and most upset when he told us that Alpha Red Alpha couldn t get us home again. That we were, in fact, trapped in this shithole of a world. And it was very nice of you to come and join us, Eddie. But have you brought anything useful with you? Something to help us get back home?

I ve brought along a few useful items, I said. I ll take them down to the Armourer.

I still want to know who all these other people are! said Ammonia, scowling at the Regent in particular.

Ah yes, said William. I should have got around to that, shouldn t I? Sorry, everyone. My mind isn t what it was.

Though we are working on that, Ammonia said quickly.

The Regent smiled gently at the Librarian. Do you remember me, William? I m your uncle Arthur. First husband to Martha. I ve been away for a while, but I m back now in your hour of need. Because that s what I do.

William just nodded vaguely. He clearly still had some way to go. The Sarjeant nodded heavily.

The Regent of Shadows. Never thought I d see the day Welcome home, Great-uncle.

I and my associates here are just along for the ride, said the Regent. It s Eddie s show, really. And Molly s, of course.

The infamous Molly Metcalf, said the Sarjeant-at-Arms. And wearing Drood armour There s a story behind this, I m sure, and I m really not going to like it. Am I?

Almost certainly not, I said.

Then it can wait. Get down to Alpha Red Alpha and do what you can to help the Armourer. Those things out there are getting closer all the time. We don t have any of the Hall s usual exterior defences; they didn t travel along with us. Most of the family are out manning the perimeter, doing what they can with all the weapons we could find in the Armoury, some of which are being field-tested for the first time even as we speak. He scowled briefly. We ve lost some good people. And a lot of the weapons are running out of ammunition. I don t want to open the Armageddon Codex, but I will if I have to. I will destroy this world before I let it destroy us.

Spoken like a true Sarjeant-at-Arms, I said.

The whole hallway was suddenly full of a rose red glow as Ethel manifested, bestowing her peaceful and calming presence on us.

Hello, hello, hello, Eddie! said the familiar disembodied voice. I m so glad you caught up with us at last! Isn t this an absolutely fascinating world? I ve never seen creatures this ugly before, and I ve been to dimensions you don t even have concepts for! I m sure if some of these things would only stop trying to kill us, just for a moment, we could have some really interesting conversations!

You can talk to them? I said.

Well, no, not as such, Ethel said reluctantly.

I keep trying, but all I get is this mental static. They re just so different! I ll keep trying, though. But first things first. You need your armour back, Eddie.

And I cried out loud in relief as armour poured out of my torc and formed around me. I d forgotten how good it felt after the cold embrace of the rogue armour. I revelled in the feeling for a moment and then reluctantly armoured down again. But before I could say anything, the rose red glow seemed to concentrate around Molly, as though Ethel was studying her closely.

That s a very interesting torc you ve got there, Molly, said Ethel. Where on earth did you get it? It s not one of mine. I can see it contains armour, but it s not strange matter. It tastes funny. I don t like it.

I don t like it, either, said the Sarjeant-at-Arms. Only Droods are supposed to have armour.

This was a special case, said Molly.

I needed armour, I said steadily. And you were gone with the Hall, Ethel. So I went with the only armour that was left. The armour in the hedge Maze. Moxton s Mistake.

The Sarjeant just frowned, but William s head came up immediately. He looked at me sharply, and I thought he was going to say something, but he didn t.

Still doesn t explain why she turned up here wearing it, and not you, said the Sarjeant.

It s complicated, said Molly.

I want to know what it is! insisted the Sarjeant.

It s rogue armour, I said. Created by a previous Armourer to be intelligent, self-aware and to operate on its own. It rebelled and killed a whole bunch of Droods. That s why it was imprisoned in the hedge Maze for so long. But I made a deal with it: service in return for freedom. And since I spoke with Drood authority, Sarjeant, you will abide by my decision in this matter.

The Sarjeant scowled at Molly s torc but said nothing.

How did you get here, Eddie? said William.

How did you find us?

The Merlin Glass, combined with some useful information I picked up along the way, I said. Which I really do need to get to the Armourer. Defend the Hall, Sarjeant. Buy us time to get the dimensional engine working again. Regent, Patrick, Diana: You come with me and Molly. You re about to see a part of the Hall we don t normally show people.

Not back in the Hall ten minutes, and already you re barking orders, said Molly.

I led them all down to the Armoury, that great stone cavern set deep in the bedrock underneath the West Wing. It felt weird, hurrying through deserted workstations and abandoned firing ranges, with not a single overenthusiastic lab assistant to be seen, doing something unwise with something dangerous. It reminded me too much of the deserted Armoury in the ruined Hall. I found the trapdoor lying open at the far end of the Armoury, and we all gathered around it. Nothing to be seen but the top part of the iron ladder leading down into an impenetrable darkness. I didn t give any of them time to think about it, just started down the ladder without looking back. I was quietly pleased that one by one they followed me down, without saying anything. There was no light anywhere, and several times I had to stop and feel for the next rung in the ladder with my foot. The ladder seemed to descend for ages, long enough that my leg muscles had begun to cramp painfully by the time I reached the bottom. The moment I stepped away from the ladder, a bright light flared up, dazzling me for a moment. The others quickly joined me, and then we all waited patiently as the Regent took a moment to quietly massage his old leg muscles.

We had arrived in a truly massive stone cavern stretching away in all directions. It looked to be bigger than the whole Hall itself, and I wasn t even sure exactly where under the Hall we were. The huge stone walls were covered with line after line of carefully delineated mathematical symbols, none of which meant anything to me. The Armourer had called them mathemagics, the bastard child of supernatural equations and description theory. When people start telling me things like that, I usually just nod and move on because I know that even if I do ask questions, I m not going to understand the answers.

Strange machines rose everywhere, set out in no obvious pattern, packing the great cavern from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling, with only narrow walkways left in between. Technology so advanced that none of it meant anything to me. Just brutal and ugly shapes, with no obvious function or controls. Some of the machines appeared blurred or indistinct, as though human eyes couldn t properly perceive or understand them. The result of one Armourer s mad wisdom. Along with gifts from other worlds, dimensions, realities. Our best and craziest Armourers have always been pack rats, putting things we pick up along the way to good use. Drood knowledge is older and weirder than most of us care to admit. Mile upon mile of colour-coded cables held everything together and hung in a complicated web between the upper levels of the machines and the uneven stone ceiling. Sometimes they twitched dreamily, like a dog s legs kicking in its sleep.

I called out to the Armourer, and his voice rose from deep back in the cavern.

Over here! Whoever you are. Unless you re a monster, and then I m out. Leave a message.

I headed for his voice, past colossal machines whose intricate workings were constantly moving, rising and falling, turning this way and that in endless variations, in pursuit of unknown purposes. Some of the structures seemed to lean and slump against one another, half melting, combining into some new and even stranger thing. Some changed shape right before my eyes, as though unable to settle, humming loudly to themselves in complex harmonies. And all the time I had the feeling of being watched and studied by unseen cold and thoughtful eyes. The cavern was comfortably warm and well-lit, but there was a bristling static in the air and the smell of iron filings and something burning, and I couldn t escape the feeling that I just wasn t welcome.

None of the others said anything. They just stuck very close to me as I led them through narrow wandering walkways. Just as well, because I didn t know what I could have said in return, except, Yes, I know. It creeps the hell out of me, too.

And finally, at last, we came to Alpha Red Alpha itself, which looked just as complicated and disturbing and overwhelming as I remembered it. Big as a house, bigger than most houses, rising all the way up to the ceiling, so you had to bend your head right back to see the top of it. It looked mostly like a plunging waterfall of solid crystal with glowing wires running through it like multicoloured veins. Etched all over with row upon row of inhuman symbols. And all of this surrounded a massive hourglass, some twenty feet tall or more, fashioned from solid silver and glass so perfect you could barely see it. The top half of the hourglass was full of shimmering golden sand, with not one golden mote falling down into the lower half.

The Armourer s lab assistants were crawling all over Alpha Red Alpha, clinging precariously to outcropping parts, making adjustments, taking readings and occasionally just hitting it with hammers in a hopeful sort of way.

The Armourer himself came bustling forward to meet us a tall middle-aged man with too much intelligence and nervous energy for his own good, wearing the usual stained and slightly charred lab coat over a T-shirt reading Eat, Shoot and Leave. He was quite bald, apart from two tufts of white hair jutting out over his ears, from where he kept tugging at them while he was thinking, and bushy white eyebrows protruding over steely grey eyes. He also had a permanent stoop, from years of leaning over workstations for long hours, designing useful dangerous things for the family. He beamed happily at me, nodded happily to Molly and then stopped dead as he saw who was with us. The Regent stepped forward to smile gently at him.

Dad? said the Armourer. His mouth worked for a moment, as though he couldn t figure out what to say. And then he plunged forward and hugged the Regent close. It did look a bit odd from the outside. There was a lot of hugging going on today, and we re really not a touchy-feely kind of family on the whole. The Armourer finally let the Regent go and held him at arm s length so he could look him over properly.

It s been such a long time, Dad! I did my best to keep in touch, but it hasn t been easy. I did think you might come home again when Mum died.

It would only have complicated things, said the Regent. At a time when you really didn t need distractions.

You re looking great! said the Armourer.

I told you that serum would work.

And then he finally looked past the Regent, at Patrick and Diana, and his whole face just shut down, as though it didn t know what to do. He looked blankly at them, and they just looked quietly back.

I can t believe you re here, the Armourer said finally. I can t believe you ve come back at last. He broke off, looked at me and then back at the Regent. You haven t told him, have you? Why haven t you told him? He has a right to know!

Because it isn t the right time, the Regent said firmly. Far too much going on right now. He doesn t need to be distracted.

I ll decide what I need to know and when I need to know it, I said just as firmly. What s going on here?

I will tell you everything once this mess is over, said the Regent. I give you my word.

The Armourer frowned at Patrick and Diana and then nodded slowly.

He s right, Eddie. You need to focus on what s in front of you. We all do. Just trust us. For now.

All right, I said. For now. Talk to me about what s happening here.

We ve been working on Alpha Red Alpha nonstop, ever since the bloody thing started up for no reason and dumped us here, said the Armourer, giving the dimensional engine his best There s going to be trouble scowl. Power levels are fine. Everything s doing what I think it should be doing, but

You don t have the proper return coordinates, I said. I ran quickly through what Crow Lee had done and handed over the remote control and the Merlin Glass. The Armourer gave the remote a quick look and then handed it off to a hovering lab assistant, who hurried off with it. The Armourer scowled thoughtfully. There s a lot of useful information to be found in that thing, no doubt, but this Eddie, this isn t the Merlin Glass I gave you. I know that for a fact, because the original Merlin Glass is still lying on a bench up there in the Armoury, cracked from top to bottom and waiting for me to do something about it. This is a whole new Merlin Glass. Where did you get it?

It s from another Drood Hall, from another reality. Long story you really don t need to know for now. But this Glass can do anything the old one can, and then some. It should be able to point the way home for Alpha Red Alpha. It s very eager to please.

Not necessarily a good thing, with anything made by Merlin Satanspawn, sniffed the Armourer. But never look a gift whore in the mouth.

Language, Jack! said the Regent.

Sorry, Dad, said the Armourer. But you re right, Eddie. Let me work on the Glass. If you and the rest of the family can just keep the monsters at bay for a little while longer till I can get this heap of junk working Yes, I m talking about you, you oversized egg timer! Don t think I don t know you re listening!

We left him to it and went back up into the Hall. Which might have been under attack by an army of nightmarish monsters, but was still less disturbing than the cavern below.

Back in the main hallway, we all crowded together in the open front doors, looking out into the clearing. The monsters were pressing closer than ever to the Hall. The shimmering barrier that contained the Earth-normal conditions had been forced back right across the clearing and was now only a few yards away. The creatures seemed bigger and madder and more determined than ever, rising to fill the sky with huge slabs of angry shapes. The armoured Droods defending the perimeter had been pushed back, too, till they were only just outside the Hall. They were hitting the monsters with everything they had, but even the combined clamour of all their weapons was nothing compared to the howls and screams and roars of the massed monsters.

According to some short-range scanners the Armourer rigged up for me, the Sarjeant-at-Arms said tightly, these creatures give off dangerous radiations and toxic emissions. As if they weren t ugly enough already. Together, just their presence is enough to overwhelm our poor Earth-normal conditions. The monsters have been pushing the barrier hard, and it can t stand against them much longer. Soon enough the clearing will be full of those monsters, and we ll have to fight from inside the Hall.

Could they push the barrier back inside the Hall? I said. Push their world s conditions in here with us?

I don t know, said the Sarjeant. The Hall has all kinds of protections, but most of them don t seem to work here. As though we re so far from our own reality that even the laws of physics are different.

Where are the Librarian and Ammonia Vom Acht? I said.

Planning some kind of psychic attack, said the Sarjeant-at-Arms, making clear what he thought of that idea with a very expressive upraised eyebrow. It s a sign of how desperate our situation is that I ve encouraged them to try. It keeps them out of the way.

Just how desperate is this situation? said Molly, peering out the door while tapping one finger idly against her silver torc.

We ve had to ground all our air forces, said the Sarjeant. The skies were getting too crowded. All that s protecting us from death from above are the gun emplacements on the roof. And just like everyone else, they re running out of ammunition. It s been centuries since we had to withstand a siege; we re just not prepared. A lesson for the Future, if there is a Future. Any idea how long it ll be before the Armourer can fire up Alpha Red Alpha and get us out of this hellhole?

He didn t say, I said.

Of course he didn t. He never does.

Pushed back by the monsters, their backs set against the front of the Hall, golden-armoured figures stood side by side, firing every kind of gun I d ever seen. Doing remarkable amounts of damage to the walls of flesh before them, but not enough to stop or even slow them. Vicious steaming fluids fell down to splash across the golden armour, only to fall harmlessly away. The stench drifting in through the doorway was unbelievably vile. I wondered if I should raise the question of the Armageddon Codex with the Sarjeant-at-Arms. He d noticed I was carrying Oath Breaker, but he hadn t said anything. I wasn t looking forward to explaining to him just who had taken the ironwood staff in the first place.

He didn t need to know about the Original Traitor for now.

And then we all jumped and cried out as the shimmering screen slammed back several feet to right inside the hallway. We all fell back from the open doors as harsh air and heavy gravity filled the doorway. The Sarjeant yelled for all the Droods on the perimeter to get back inside, and they lowered their weapons and ran for it. Many of them threw themselves through the open windows, rather than get caught in the crush at the doors. Patrick and Diana each got a chair to stand on and calmly laid down covering fire over the Droods heads to discourage the advancing monsters. I looked across at the Regent, who just shook his head sadly.

Sorry, Eddie. Lateral thinking and tricks of the trade are fine against my usual enemies, but this is all a bit beyond me.

Ethel? I said.

Yes, Eddie, the disembodied voice said immediately. I m right here.

The elderly gentleman here is my grandfather Arthur. I say he is a Drood in good standing once more, so please be so kind as to grant him his armour again.

Of course, Eddie. What about the other two?

I paused. What do you mean, what about the other two? You mean Patrick and Diana? What about them?

Well, they re both Droods, too. Do you want me to give them armour, as well?

I looked at the Regent and then at Patrick and Diana. And just like that, I knew who they were. Who they had to be. And why they d always seemed so familiar. Age had made a big difference. They didn t look anything like they used to in the only old photo I d had of them. Hell, Patrick was bald with a beard now, and that ll disguise anyone. Diana s hair was grey. They d both changed so much, but even so, deep down I d recognised both of them the moment I saw them. It had just taken till now, this moment, for me to see them clearly and admit to myself who they really were.

Mum? I said. Dad?

Emily and Charles Drood smiled at me. The Regent stood between them and put his arms across their shoulders.

My children he said. Don t blame them, Eddie. They wanted to explain everything the moment you walked into Uncanny. I persuaded them not to. Because you already had so much on your plate But they still insisted on meeting you and working alongside you.

I put up a hand, to stop his talking. All right, I said. I get it. But there will be a hell of a lot of questions afterwards.

Yes, said Charles. We ll tell you everything. Afterwards.

There is quite a lot of it to tell, said Emily.

You abandoned me, I said. I hadn t meant for it to come out that harshly, but I couldn t hold it back.

How could you leave me here?

We didn t want to! said Emily.

We had no choice, said Charles.

You see? said the Regent. This is why I didn t want you to know yet! We can t do this now, Eddie. We have to concentrate on the matter at hand.

The front doors exploded inwards as a massive monster s head slammed right through them. A great battering ram of a head more than twenty feet across and half as high, it forced its great bulk into the hallway after us as we scrambled to fall back. Long jaws slammed together in their eagerness to get at us. Charles and Emily opened fire on it, blasting great chunks of its face away, but it just roared deafeningly and pushed more of itself into the hallway, expanding the opening it had made in the doors with brute force. Molly armoured up and punched the head with as much force as the armour could deliver, but still she could only damage it, not hurt it. I yelled for everyone to fall back, and advanced on the snapping head with the ironwood staff in my hand. Huge dark eyes followed me, and the jaws gaped open. I hit the head a mighty blow with Oath Breaker, and the whole head exploded. The force of the blast threw bloody fragments the whole length of the hall and back out the doorway, and in a moment the entire space was empty again. Dark blood and other fluids coated the walls and dripped down from the ceiling, along with misshapen gobbets of flesh.

I was just lowering Oath Breaker and starting to relax when a long snakelike head shot through the gap where the doors had been, grabbed me in its jaws and hauled me out into the alien world. I armoured up instinctively, so the heavy teeth just ground uselessly against me, but I was still held firmly as the great snake head hauled me high up into the air and waved me back and forth. The world spun dizzyingly around me. I jabbed at the front of the snake s head with Oath Breaker, and all its front teeth shattered and blew apart. The huge alien creature screamed deafeningly, spraying dark blood by the gallon, but it released some of its hold on me. I punched holes into the scaled flesh of the upper jaw with both my armoured fists, and then used the precarious handholds to pull myself out of the mouth and up onto the top of its head. I stamped my golden feet into the head to anchor myself.

I could see the Hall a long way below, surrounded by all the many monsters that dwarfed it. The huge snake head swayed viciously back and forth, spraying blood everywhere, and screaming so deafeningly I could barely stand it, even inside my armour. I balanced myself as best I could, raised Oath Breaker with both hands and brought it down on the back of the creature s neck, where the head met the body. Scaled flesh exploded and the whole great body went limp. I rode the dying snake all the way down to the ground, and my armoured legs soaked up the massive impact as the head smashed into the ground. I jumped down and ran for the open doorway.

Molly came out to meet me in her armour. She stopped abruptly, blocking my way into the Hall. I stopped. I knew what was wrong. It was Molly s armour, all right; the familiar tarnished gold with the feminine attributes but it hadn t walked like Molly, moved like Molly.

What are you doing? I said to the armour. To Moxton s Mistake. Why have you overridden Molly s control?

You re planning on going home, said the rogue armour in its grating, too-human voice. I m not. I like it here. I think I could have fun here. Our bargain is over. No more service; I ll take my freedom here. And you re not going to stop me, Eddie. Because I have Molly Metcalf inside me. Trapped.

What do you want? I said.

I m going to stand back and watch the monsters tear the Hall apart, and then drag you out and eat you, said the rogue armour. A fitting retribution for all the years you left me trapped in the Maze. Maybe I ll even help the monsters. Smash Alpha Red Alpha And you won t lift a finger to stop me, Eddie, or I ll crush your precious Molly into a cube, like I did before. Only slower, so I can enjoy it more

I remembered the golden cube and the crushed meat and bones it had left behind. I clenched my golden fists uselessly. I hadn t a clue what to do.

Eddie! yelled a familiar voice from the doorway.

Catch!

A small shiny thing tumbled through the air, the rogue armour, and I reached out a hand and plucked it from the air. Just a small metal clicker. I looked at it and then I looked at Moxton s Mistake and then I grinned slowly behind my featureless mask. I held up the clicker so the rogue armour could get a good look at it.

My uncle Jack is the best Armourer we ever had, I said. He knew armour couldn t be trusted, especially in the wrong hands. So he made this.

I hit the clicker, and just like that Moxton s Mistake disappeared from around Molly and reappeared standing on its own, a dozen feet away. Molly swayed for a moment, and then her head came up and her face cleared. I ran forward, grabbed her by the arm and hustled her back to the Hall, where the Armourer was waiting. Moxton s Mistake howled its rage and its fury and sprinted after us. I could hear it behind us, closing the gap in seconds, and it was almost upon us by the time we charged through the great opening where the front doors used to be. The Regent stepped forward, his small silver gun in his hand. Molly and I ducked quickly out of his way as we ran past, and the Regent shot Moxton s Mistake full in the chest. The impact blasted the rogue armour off its feet and threw it backwards, into the path of the advancing monsters.

Thanks, Dad, said the Armourer. He nodded easily to Molly and me. Ready to go home, kids?

Oh yes, said Molly. Really. You have no idea. Her hand went to her throat where the silver torc had been. Armour is overrated.

Everyone, keep your heads inside! yelled the Armourer. We are leaving now! And I don t want anyone s bits left behind!

He activated the remote control in his hand, and the familiar groaning and straining sounds of Alpha Red Alpha started up. Moxton s Mistake was running straight at us, but already he looked vague and far away.

You stay here, I said, hoping he could hear me.

You stay here with all the other monsters.

And the last thing we heard as the dimensional machine carried us away was the rogue armour s howl of thwarted fury.

We came home to bright sunlight and pleasant summer air, and the gardens and the grounds were just as I remembered them. I stepped out of the shattered doorway and looked around, Molly clinging to my arm. The ruined Hall was gone, no trace of it left behind. My Hall was back. I grinned at Molly.

Good to be back.