Lonesome Road

Chapter Nineteen

Louisa moved with the Bible in her clasp. When she had laid it down on the little table beside the bed she came back and put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder.

“Do you think I pushed you, my dear?” The voice was deep and gentle, the words simply spoken as to a child.

Rachel looked up at her and then down again. She said,

“No, Louie. You do love me.” Then, after a pause, “But someone pushed me.”

“I think you should go to bed now,” said Miss Silver. “We will talk about it in the morning.”

Rachel got wearily to her feet.

“Yes-I can’t think-I can’t talk about it any more tonight. Louie, I can’t talk to you. You must go to your room.”

“Miss Rachel-”

“Not tonight. I can’t. Please go.”

She turned back at the door herself because Miss Silver beckoned her.

“I won’t keep you, Miss Treherne, but-will you change rooms with me tonight?”

Rachel smiled faintly.

“No, I won’t do that.”

“Then will you lock the doors-the two on the corridor and the communicating door from the sitting-room?”

“Yes-I was going to.”

“Your little dog sleeps in your room? Would he bark if anyone came in?”

“Yes, I think he would. At least he growled horribly when Ella Comperton put her head in one night.”

“Why did she do that?”

“She wanted to know if I had any aspirin.”

“And had you?”

“No. I never take things like that. She ought to have known.”

“And when was this?”

“About a fortnight ago. So I think that Noisy would live up to his name.”

Back in her own room, Rachel thought again how peaceful it looked. Noisy had opened one eye when she came in, but he was now fast asleep again with his blanket thrown off and one ear flapped back. Rachel put it straight, felt him move against her hand, and thought, “How simple to be a dog. You love someone very much, and they love you.”

She slipped off her dressing-gown, turned out the light, and lay down in bed. She sank through a kind of mist of fatigue into drowning depths of sleep and stayed there.

Much later in the night she rose to the surface, and was visited by dreams which changed continually. In one she saw herself walking like a prisoner across a waste of snow. Her wrists and ankles were chained with heavy links of gold, and she was quite alone. Then Gale Brandon came rushing over the snow in a sleigh and caught her up in the wind of his flight and swept her on. His arms were warm and strong.

Then she was running from something she could not see. She ran right up the Milky Way, and the stars flashed in her eyes and dazzled her, until they changed into cars with burning headlights, and the Milky Way into a concrete road. Someone blew a horn right in her ear, and she began to run again. Gale Brandon said, “You’re quite safe now,” but she couldn’t find him because all the lights went out. Miss Silver said, “Simple faith is a great deal more uncommon than Norman blood.” But it was Louisa who was crying as if her heart would break. The sound of her sobs turned into the noise of waves. Rachel hung on the cliff again, but it was daylight now. If she could look up she would see who it was that had pushed her over. But she couldn’t look up. She had to look down at the rocks which were waiting for her. She heard Gale Brandon call her name, and woke.

It was still dark. The fire was dead. There was no light in the room. But she thought she heard a sound. She thought that there was someone outside her door-an ear against the panel-a hand upon the latch. Noisy’s basket creaked. She heard him move, stand up, go pattering over the floor. And then she heard him growl. It was the faintest sound, a mere thrum in the throat. She called him, and he came running, to jump on the bed and flounce joyously in under the eiderdown. Rachel let him stay.

Presently she slept again.

Louisa brought her tea with an air of tragedy which was daunting in the extreme. Rachel’s heart sank, but years of practice had given her a certain technique; she managed to postpone the impending scene.

The next thing that happened was more cheerful. The telephone bell rang beside the bed, and there was Gale Brandon to say good-morning and ask how she felt.“Stiff,” said Rachel.

“Are you getting up?” He sounded eager.

“Not at the moment, but I’m going to.”

“I’d like to come over and see you if I may.”

“Of course you may. I haven’t thanked you for saving my life.”

“You don’t want to do that.”

“But I do.”

“I mean, you don’t need to. I’ve been doing the thanking. Well, I’ll be over. Is eleven o’clock too early?… All right, I’ll make it half past.” He rang off.

As she hung the receiver up, there came a gentle tapping on the door and Caroline Ponsonby came into the room in a green dressing-gown. Perhaps it was the color that made her look so pale. She came and leaned on the foot of the bed, and Noisy pushed his nose out from under the eiderdown and made a little snuffling sound of welcome. Caroline said, “Bad spoilt one!” and stretched a hand to pull his ear. After a moment she straightened herself and looked at Rachel.

“Are you all rights darling? I worried about you in the night.”

Rachel thought, “She looks as if she had seen a ghost. What is it?” She said,

“Was it you who came to my door?”

Caroline flushed.

“I did-once-when it was nearly morning. Did you hear me? I didn’t mean to wake you. I couldn’t sleep.”

Rachel put out her hand.

“Come here and tell me why you couldn’t sleep.”

But Caroline stood where she was.

“I was frightened-about you-about the fall you had. I was afraid to go to sleep. You know how it is when you feel as if a horrid dream was waiting for you.” She gave a pretence of a laugh. “I thought I wouldn’t give it a chance, that’s all. But you are all right?”

“Perfectly all right.”

Caroline opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, and then shut it again and ran out of the room. Her eyes were full of tears.