Lord of Ashes

SIX

Weeks ago, when Janessa had suggested it, Kaira thought bedecking her in armour was a foolish idea. Now as she looked at her ward, at the Queen of the Free States, she realised her mistake. Despite her stature Queen Janessa still cut an impressive figure. It did nothing to put Kaira’s mind at ease, though. The enemy was at the gates. There were undoubtedly some within the city who were still plotting to kill her. No mere suit of armour, no matter how finely crafted, could keep her safe from every knife in the dark that threatened.

‘How do I look?’ asked Janessa, glancing at herself in the mirror as though she stared at a different person.

You look like a fish out of water. You look scared half to death and I will have to watch over you like a hawk.

‘You look ready to lead your armies and defend your city, Majesty,’ Kaira replied. There was no need to speak her mind on this. The queen needed confidence, not the truth.

Janessa rested her hand on the pommel of the Helsbayn, that sword she now wielded with such assurance. But it was more than that. The blade seemed to instil a power in the girl, seemed to make her that much stronger, that much more capable. When Kaira had tried to lift the blade it had felt little more than a hunk of poorly fashioned metal. In the hands of the queen it sang.

‘I feel ready,’ Janessa said, but the tight grip of her gauntleted hand on the pommel of the Helsbayn betrayed a doubt she didn’t speak.

Kaira knew then that this was still the young girl abandoned by everyone she had ever known. Her mother and siblings dead from the plague. Her father killed by the warlord who even now threatened to raze her city. Her child stillborn, its father long gone. Despite how impressive she looked in her armour, Kaira knew this girl was still so innocent. Still so untested and alone. This was a child playing at being a queen and part of that tore at Kaira’s heart.

‘You must still stay by my side, Majesty,’ she said. For the first time she spoke with authority over Janessa. She needed her to obey. All time for propriety was gone; it had to be if Kaira was to protect her ward. ‘At all times, whatever happens in the coming days, you must stay with me.’

Queen Janessa frowned. Kaira could see anger flare behind her eyes. Was it the Helsbayn giving her such strength, imbuing her with such defiance?

‘I am a child no longer, Kaira. I am a queen. I have a city to defend. I don’t need to be-’

‘You are not a warrior yet,’ said Kaira, raising her voice more than she should have but much less than she wanted.

Janessa grasped her sword, pulling it a foot from the scabbard. Her jaw set, her eyes staring intently. ‘I don’t need to be,’ she said in a measured tone, though Kaira could sense the girl was fighting for control. She had to admit, it frightened her a little — not for herself, but for the child she was sworn to protect. ‘I have this.’ Janessa shook the blade, then slammed it back in its sheath with an audible clack.

‘That weapon will cut down your enemies,’ Kaira said, trying her best to remain calm. ‘But it will not protect you from every sword and arrow. It is more important now than ever that you survive. That you live so this city has someone to focus its hope on. Your life cannot be risked.’

‘I will not die.’ And when she said those words Kaira almost believed them, was almost convinced that Janessa would not, could not be killed. Almost.

‘Confidence will serve you well, Majesty. But it will not turn a weapon aimed at your heart. It will not make you invincible, and neither will that sword.’

‘It doesn’t have to,’ Janessa replied, the fire in her eyes dimming to be replaced by grave determination. ‘It just has to keep me alive long enough to strike at Amon Tugha.’

Kaira shook her head. ‘You cannot seriously think you could face him and live. He is Elharim and has most likely fought and killed his enemies for centuries. Do you think it would be so easy to defeat him simply because you carry a blade blessed by Arlor himself?’

‘We will see,’ Janessa replied, and Kaira could hear that confidence waver. Despite her determination, despite whatever strength that blade gave her, Janessa knew it would never be so easy.

Kaira made to speak, to tell this girl that the fighting had to be left to real soldiers. That she was not yet a warrior queen, but before she could utter a word Janessa held up a hand.

‘No more. This is pointless. What will come will come. Just know that I am prepared. That I am not the helpless lamb you think I am.’

‘That is not what I think.’

But it is what you think. You would wrap this girl in armour and protect her from the world just when it needs her the most.

‘No matter,’ said Janessa. ‘I need to think, to prepare myself for what is to come.’ She turned to the window of her chamber that looked out onto a night lit by fire from the south. ‘I am sure we won’t have long to wait.’

She said no more, and Kaira knew she had been dismissed. That almost cut as deep as the blade Azai Dravos had used against her, but she obeyed the unspoken order nonetheless, leaving the chamber and making her way down the corridor.

For the briefest moment Kaira considered waiting outside the queen’s chamber, waiting there to protect her, despite the girl’s stubbornness, but there was still much to do. Much to prepare if she was to be protected, despite the girl’s determination to put herself in harm’s way.

Kaira made her way down through the palace. Garret would even now be preparing the Sentinels for the city’s defence and there was undoubtedly work for her to do. Raised voices made Kaira immediately forget any thought of preparations, though. The first voice she recognised was Rogan’s and she was in no hurry to hear what was pouring from his silken tongue. But it was the second voice that made Kaira halt in her tracks — a voice she recognised. A voice she had once feared … the Matron Mother, her former mistress and the figurehead of the Temple of Autumn.

It struck something deep within her. That voice had been a constant presence from Kaira’s past and for all the years she had trained in the temple to become a Shieldmaiden. Even now, when she was Shieldmaiden no longer, she still felt the respect due to the old woman.

As Kaira made her way down to the main entrance hall of Skyhelm she saw it was empty but for the two figures. Rogan, though only diminutive in stature, still dwarfed the old woman. The Matron Mother glared up at the Seneschal, her eyes fixed on the taller man. Kaira stood back in the shadows and listened, feeling somewhat ashamed that she lurked like some footpad in the dark, but she had to know what was being said.

‘No,’ said Rogan, for once some emotion in his usually insipid voice. ‘The Shieldmaidens must stay within the Temple of Autumn.’

‘Madness,’ the Matron Mother replied. Her own voice was raised in anger, and it brought back fearful memories for Kaira. Rogan seemed to be somewhat less impressed as she railed at him. ‘Any day now tens of thousands of Khurtas will throw themselves against the walls of this city. And you expect its best fighters to cower behind the walls of a temple?’

‘The Temple of Autumn will be this city’s last line of defence. If the curtain wall is breached where will we defend the queen? Skyhelm stands tall in the midst of the city, but it is not a fortress. The last of the city’s defenders, the queen herself, must have somewhere to rally to.’

Despite her disdain for the man, Kaira could see the sense in his words.

‘The Shieldmaidens are better suited to battle on the frontline, not as a reserve force. Put them on the wall and we will not need anywhere to rally to. The Khurtas will wish they had never ventured from their northern wastes when faced with Vorena’s chosen.’

Rogan continued to argue, but Kaira’s attention was diverted as she heard someone come to stand at her shoulder. She gave the briefest of glances, feeling a pull at her heart as she realised it was Samina Coldeye, her sister, standing there in silence.

When last they had met, Kaira had abandoned the temple and her sister Shieldmaidens. Had turned her back on everyone and everything she had ever known. The shame of it stung her now more than ever, though she still knew it had been the right choice.

As the Coldeye watched with her silently, Kaira barely registered what was said between the Matron Mother and Seneschal Rogan. All the while she was thinking about her closest friend standing there. The friend she had not spoken to for weeks since she had left the Temple of Autumn to make her own way in the city.

‘It’s been a while,’ Samina said eventually.

‘Too long, sister,’ Kaira replied.

She heard Samina’s whispered breath, a smirk perhaps? A snort of derision?

‘Sister? You would still call me sister? After what you did? After your betrayal?’

Kaira turned, feeling the hurt of Samina’s words like a knife to her belly.

‘I betrayed no one. I was the one betrayed.’ She kept her voice low as Rogan and the Matron Mother continued their argument. ‘I was used as a tool, as a weapon. I served with honour and was treated no better than a chattel. A slave.’

‘We are all slaves to the will of Vorena. Or have you already forgotten that?’

‘I still serve Vorena. And I serve this city. Just because I no longer do it as a Shieldmaiden does not mean I have forgotten the vows I made. The vows we made together.’

Samina shook her head. ‘You serve your queen, Sentinel. Not this city and not its people.’ Kaira shook her head to deny it, but perhaps there was a shred of truth there. Perhaps all the while she had thought she was serving the tenets of the Shieldmaidens in her own manner, in reality she had become preoccupied with defending the life of one girl.

‘Remember when we were children?’ Samina continued, before Kaira could think of what to say. ‘Remember it was always you who would do the right thing. Always you who would lead us in prayer. Always you who would push to serve our goddess. To serve the Temple of Autumn. And now you have betrayed all that. Left it behind like so much dust in your wake.’

‘No … I …’ Kaira wanted to deny it. Wanted to explain it had never been her intention to abandon her sisters, to abandon Vorena, but she never got the chance.

Rogan and the Matron Mother had finished their debate. As the Matron Mother turned to leave she saw Kaira standing there. The look she gave betrayed nothing. At that moment Kaira would have preferred her scorn, her rage, anything. All she received was a look of blank indifference that stung more than a blow to her cheek.

Samina walked silently to the old woman’s side, who in her turn never gave Kaira so much as a second glance as she turned and walked from the palace. Kaira stood at the edge of the hall for some time after they left. She didn’t even notice where Rogan had gone.

Had it truly been a betrayal? Had she really abandoned Vorena and her sisters?

Does it matter either way? In the coming days this city may well fall and then who will care? Do not dwell on it. There is still much to do before you must flog yourself over this.

Kaira moved to the huge doors of Skyhelm, determined to make herself of use, but before she could, Captain Garret entered, two Sentinels at his shoulder. His brow was furrowed, his face stern, and Kaira stopped before him.

‘Captain,’ she began, but Garret held up a hand to silence her.

‘Save it,’ he replied without breaking his stride. ‘Your place is beside the queen.’

‘But there is still much to do before the Khurtas make their advance.’

Garret stopped and turned to her. ‘If there’s anything we haven’t done by now, it’s too late. The Khurtas are on the move.’