Lost Lake

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“How long did it take you to decide to join the Unit?” Ami asked.

“About a week. The General had been up-front with me. He told me I would be breaking the law at times. That bothered me.”

“But you went ahead anyway?”

“I was young. I was excited about the Unit’s elite status. And there was Wingate. You have no idea what that man’s approval meant to me. I was thrilled that he’d been watching my progress and had chosen me for this special duty. I couldn’t disappoint him.”

“What happened after you contacted Wingate?”

“Nothing for about a month. Then I was transferred to the Army Language School at Fort Meyer, Virginia. I lived off post in an apartment. Most of the time, I studied Thai and Vietnamese. I needed the flexibility a student has because my orders came at irregular intervals. In my free time I kept in shape, kept up my martial arts training, and lived the type of life most students lead.”

“How did you get your assignments?”

“I would receive a phone call. It would be a wrong number or a solicitation call. I’d drive to a prearranged location, usually very late at night, sometimes after midnight. A lot of times it would be a room at a motel or a parking lot of a crowded mall. We never met at the same place twice.”

“This is Wingate you’re talking about?”

“Oh, no, not the General.” Rice’s features darkened. “There was only one time that I received an order from him.”

“Then who…?”

“The man who acted as my control was General Peter Rivera.”

“Do you know where I can find him? Would he help you?”

Rice looked at Ami. “General Rivera was murdered in 1986. The police think I killed him.”

“Did you?”

“No, but there is a lot of evidence connecting me to the crime.”

Ami felt uneasy. She didn’t completely believe Carl’s protestations of innocence.

“What were your first assignments like?”

“They were mostly in Vietnam. I told you about ambushing the mule trains. I did that a few times. I also infiltrated North Vietnamese villages on several occasions. Twice I was teamed with Special Forces pony teams who thought I was with the Phoenix program. On one mission I was led to my target by a North Vietnamese national who worked for the CIA.”

“What did you do on these missions?”

“I used a sniper rifle to take out a military officer during one mission. In the other two, I terminated Communist Party officials.”

“By shooting them?”

Carl shook his head. “I crawled into their huts at night and slit their throats.”

Ami turned pale.

“My war was very personal, Ami. I looked into the eyes of the men I killed.”

“Were…were you still in the Unit when you went AWOL in 1986?”

“Yes.”

“But the Vietnam War must have ended a few years after you joined.”

“The Unit still had its uses after we left Vietnam. The communists didn’t go away. There was still the cold war.”

“How did your missions change?”

“There was more espionage. I investigated suspected spies; I used my intelligence skills to bug embassies.” Rice smiled coldly. “I also bugged congressmen and officials of the United States government.”

“Americans?”

Rice nodded. “I wasn’t told what use was made of the information I collected, but I noticed that some of the senators or representatives I had under surveillance changed their votes on certain bills or initiated legislation that went against their former voting patterns. I also found it interesting that the General remained the head of the AIDC no matter who was president.”

“Did you ever…were there more assassinations?”

Rice nodded.

“Was this in Vietnam still?”

“No. The focus changed. There was a Russian agent in Madrid, some people who were working for the Chinese.”

“How did you…?”

“I stabbed the Russian to death in an alley behind a bar and I…I shot the two subjects who were working for the Chinese.”

“How many people have you killed, Carl?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t it…bother you?”

Carl took a sip of water while he considered her question.

“At first, no. I had never killed anyone before we went after the electronics equipment in that Navy plane. During the mission I was so scared and exhausted that I was running on instinct, like an animal. Then the patrol boat rescued us. I was fed, I was given dry clothes, and I got some sleep. After I woke up I went on deck. I remember sitting with my back against the pilothouse wall, feeling safe for the first time in days. The jungle was quiet and beautiful. I was completely at peace. That’s when it occurred to me that I had killed several men.

“In training, I wondered if I would freeze, but I hadn’t panicked. I realized that I hadn’t thought about the killing at all. I’d just done what I was trained to do. The act of killing had not been a cosmic event. There was nothing philosophical about it. In the heat of battle it was simply a choice between them and me.”

“This was in combat, though,” Ami said. “You told me that you killed the Russian by…you stabbed him to death. And the Chinese spies, that wasn’t in the heat of battle. Did you feel differently about those killings?”

“You want to know if I felt remorse?”

“Yes.”

“The people I killed were the enemy, and it was my job to kill the enemy, but I never enjoyed it. I believed I was doing the right thing. That helped me deal with what I’d done. But the longer it went on…” Carl paused. His eyes dropped to the covers on his hospital bed. “I had bad dreams. I had doubts.”