Love Always

13

IT was late at night on Monday when Lucy got home and got the call from the police station. The first thing she did when they hung up was to try to call Hildon; as she feared, Maureen answered the phone. “Lucy,” Maureen said, “I must tell you that you have disturbed my sleep. This is not a proper time to make a phone call, and I am within my rights to hang up.” She hung up before Lucy could say anything.

Lucy cursed and reached for her car keys. They were not on the table. Of all times to lose her car keys. She took a deep breath and tried to remember where she had put them. As she was moving piles of magazines on the table, the idea hit her that she could get someone else to call Hildon. She called Noonan and woke him up. “This is important,” Lucy said. “I can’t explain right now. Do me a favor: call Hildon and have him call me. Will you?”

“Why can’t you do it?” Noonan said.

“I just can’t. I’m sorry to bother you, but this is very important.”

“Hang up,” Noonan said.

She put the phone down and waited. It hit her for the first time that it might be wise to call a lawyer. She sat on the sofa, still without the keys, and wondered who knew a lawyer that she could call. A bee buzzed up and down the window glass. Looking at the bee, she saw the keys, partly hidden beside the television. She snatched them up. Her hand was trembling. She pounced on the phone when it rang.

“What’s the game?” Noonan said.

“What game?”

“I called Hildon’s, and Maureen answered, and she had a little speech about the polite hours to place phone calls.”

“She wouldn’t put Hildon on?”

“No.”

“Shit. She did the same thing to me. That’s why I had you call.”

“Is everything all right?” Noonan said.

“I’ve got to get Hildon,” Lucy said.

“Call her back and yell if it’s important.”

“I can’t do that.”

“I don’t understand anything about the way heterosexuals relate to one another,” Noonan said. “I never have and I never will.”

“Listen,” Lucy said. “Can I come over and pick you up? I’ve got to go to the police station and I’m afraid to go alone.”

“What is it?” Noonan said, his voice changing entirely.

“According to Nicole, it’s nothing. It’s — it seems awful. I can’t keep talking. She’s waiting for me.”

“I was asleep,” Noonan said. “I took a sleeping pill.”

“You’re awake now, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Noonan said.

“I’m coming over,” Lucy said. “This is important. Jesus — this had better be as easy to explain as Nicole said. She was off parking with Edward, apparently. You don’t think it was anything other than that, do you?”

“Don’t ask me,” Noonan said. “She’s not exactly naïve.”

“Don’t say that,” Lucy said.

“The irony is, I stole these pills from Hildon and Maureen’s medicine cabinet,” Noonan said.

“Should I call a lawyer?” Lucy said. “Why can’t I ever think what to do?”

“Don’t call a lawyer. Let’s go down there and check it out.”

“Okay. Get dressed. I’ll be right over.”

“You already said that. Hang up,” Noonan said.

“Oh God, I hope this isn’t something awful. If Jane finds out about this, she’ll kill me. I’m ready to kill Nicole myself.”

“Goodbye,” Noonan said.

“That goddamn California artist manqué,” Lucy said.

“Are we having a general discussion about your feelings, or are you going to come over?”

“If he’s done anything to Nicole, I’m going to make sure he ends up behind bars.”

“What do you think about Mondale having a woman Vice President?” Noonan said.

Lucy hung up. It was cold outside. She started back for her jacket, but suddenly she didn’t think she had a second to spare. Forty-five minutes had elapsed since she got the phone call. She must have been in shock. She would tell the police that she was in shock. No: then maybe they wouldn’t take her seriously. If Edward had done something awful to Nicole, she was going to have him killed. She should have known that grown men don’t pal around that way with fourteen-year-old girls. All the times he said he had been driving her into town, it must have been a lie. All the movies they said they saw … He was a pervert — he got the assignment from the toy company on purpose, and she was too stupid to figure it out. He wasn’t cooling his heels until he found out whether he was going to New York; he was lusting after her niece. None of it made sense, suddenly. She must have been mad to believe it. She couldn’t tell whether she was shivering from fear or from the cold.

She pulled up in front of Noonan’s. The smell of honeysuckle caught in her throat. The wind was blowing through the small willow trees Noonan had bought at the nursery. She pulled into the gravel driveway. Noonan ran out of the house. The second she saw him she wondered why she had stopped. She was picking up a crazy person to take to the police station with her. As he ran, Noonan flapped his arms like a bird. He threw open the car door and thumped onto the seat. He was clutching a washrag, pressed to his forehead. “Hay fever,” he said. “I put so much Afrin down my nose, I should just chew a cherry at the same time and skip the evening drinks.”

“Jesus,” Lucy said, on the verge of tears for the first time, “this is just awful.”

“She’s all right, isn’t she?”

“I talked to her. She seemed to be all right. Why wouldn’t they let her come home? Isn’t this unlawful detention?”

“Bite your tongue when you get there and listen,” Noonan said. “Don’t make them mad.”

“If he’s done anything to her, I’ll kill him.”

“You want me to drive?”

“No thanks.”

“Then please slow down. I feel like we’re coming in for a landing.”

“Do you have a cigarette?” Lucy said.

He reached in his pocket and took out a silver case. He removed a cigarette and handed it to her. He rummaged around in his pocket, then pushed in the car lighter. When it popped, he pulled it out and held it toward her. She ducked her head and lit the cigarette.

“Did you get a discount on the trees?” she said.

“Yes, thank you,” Noonan said. “I did what you said: I found the most attractive boy there, mentioned your name, and he gave me a ten percent discount.”

“If he did anything to her, I’ll kill him.”

“The boy at the nursery?”

“Edward.”

“Oh. Well, I need to ask you something. Do you want me to go ahead and ask, or just let it prey on my mind?”

“I don’t know what you’re going to ask,” Lucy said.

“Something about Hildon.”

They were in front of the police barracks. She was signaling to turn. Cars passed her in slow motion.

“What about him?”

“Have you been having an affair all this time?”

Lucy faltered. Another group of cars approached, and she couldn’t turn. He was squeezing the washcloth over the bridge of his nose. He reached in his pocket, took out the Afrin, and sprayed. He pinched his nostrils closed. “Oh God,” Noonan said, exhaling through his mouth.

“What makes you ask that?” Lucy said.

“Nigel does that all day long,” Noonan said. “If you ask him what time it is, he asks you why you want to know.”

“Why did you ask?” Lucy said.

“I already have my answer,” Noonan said.

Lucy turned off the ignition. The long cigarette ash fell on her leg.

“Yes,” she said. “Don’t tell anybody.”

“I can’t understand why everybody is suddenly so up front with me. Is it because I’m leaving for California?”

“No,” she said. “For some reason, I’ve just started to appreciate you. Why did you ask?”

“After we spoke, I called back. What Maureen did was outrageous. I demanded to speak to Hildon. I said it was an emergency. And do you know what she said? She said, ‘I think it’s quite awful for Lucy Spenser to call in the middle of the night asking for Hildon, just to throw me off, since I obviously think he’s with her. It’s another thing entirely that you’re pimping.’ ”

“She said that?”

“She says outrageous things all the time. At the staff party, she told me that the people who worked with me thought I was murky.”

“I don’t think that,” Lucy said.

“Thank you,” Noonan said.

“I just think that when people express their true feelings, it embarrasses you, and you say things that are crueler than you intend.”

“I don’t intend to say anything cruel to you,” Noonan said. “You’ve always been a real friend.”

“Thank you,” Lucy said, reaching across and putting her arm around his shoulder.

“It’s disappointing that I don’t have a heterosexual impulse in my whole body,” Noonan said. He kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad Hildon is covering the bases,” he said. “Are we going in or not?”

“Did you hear what you just said? And I know you didn’t mean it to be insulting. By implication, I was part of your metaphor. And how do you think it feels to be thought of as a base? An inanimate object? A sandbag?”

“Spare me a feminist lecture,” Noonan said. “I’m about to keel over. I feel like somebody’s got a blindfold over my eyes and is pulling.”

“What do I do when I go in there?” Lucy said. “I’m terrified.”

“Try to act normal. See what they want you to do.”

“Who will I say you are?”

“A homosexual who writes for a magazine,” Noonan said. Lucy got out of the car. Noonan got out his side.

“Leave your washcloth in the car,” Lucy said.

“Sorry,” Noonan said. He went back to the car and put the washcloth on the dashboard.

“You don’t think anything happened, do you?” Lucy said.

“You got mad at me when I answered that question before.”

“You do?”

“It seems probable,” Noonan said.

“What’s going to happen?”

“I’m sure they’ll tell you.”

“I’ll kill him,” Lucy said.

“Stay calm,” Noonan said.

Noonan reached around Lucy and pulled open the door. They were in a small square room, with a high desk to the left. They walked across the dirty linoleum floor to the desk. Lucy smiled. Noonan stood behind her.

“Mrs. Spenser?” the policeman behind the desk said.

On the radio, Cyndi Lauper was singing “Time After Time.”

Instead of the usual anger she felt when she was called Mrs. Spenser, Lucy felt herself growing taller. She hoped that her attempt to look unshaken would not be mistaken for imperiousness. She forgot that Noonan was standing behind her and walked behind the desk. “What is it?” she said.

“Mrs. Spenser, your niece is fine. Did you understand what officer Brown said to you on the phone?”

“Where is she?” Lucy said.

“She fell asleep. She’s fine. We think that you should talk to officer Brown.”

“Where is Edward?” she said.

“You know the man?” the policeman said.

“I’m acquainted with him,” Lucy said. The minute she said it, she realized that it sounded absurd.

“Mrs. Spenser,” the policeman said. “Please have a chair.”

“Isn’t this unlawful detainment? What is the charge?” Lucy said.

“Mrs. Spenser, we are not trying to make a charge at the present moment. We are concerned because we need to determine whether there has been foul play.”

“I’d kill him,” Lucy said.

“Mrs. Spenser, we need your consent as legal guardian to have your niece examined.”

Lucy put her hand over her mouth.

“Mrs. Spenser, please. Your niece is fine. Do you want to see her? She has fallen asleep. Let’s get her, so you can hear her version of the story.”

The policeman looked at Noonan. “Mr. Spenser?” he said.

“I’m a friend of the family,” Noonan said.

“Mr? …”

“Noonan.”

“Mr. Noonan. We’re going to let you hear her version of the story. Are you a lawyer, Mr. Noonan?”

“A journalist,” Noonan said.

“That’s the same thing,” the policeman said. “Mr. Noonan, please step this way with Mrs. Spenser.”

Noonan began to have a sneezing fit. He was about to fall asleep, so he found it hard to keep his balance when the sneezes shook him. Lucy was walking down the corridor in front of him. He ran to catch up, sneezing violently.

“Where is she?” Lucy said.

Noonan began to sneeze convulsively. He reached in his pocket for the Afrin, threw his head back and squirted it in each nostril. “God help me,” he said.

“If he’s done anything, I’ll kill him,” Lucy said.

The policeman threw open a door. Nicole was asleep on a couch, a pile of uniforms on top of her.

“She’s sleeping,” Lucy said stupidly.

“Mrs. Spenser. We want you to talk to her. We need your permission to have her examined. I must tell you that if you refuse permission, we will begin proceedings to obtain permission.”

Noonan began to sneeze wildly. Nicole heard him and shot up. She saw Lucy and was disoriented. Then she reached out and tried to grab Lucy, but she had no muscle coordination; she had been roused from a dead sleep. “Lucy?” she said. “You believe me, don’t you?” Nicole started to cry. “Can we go home?”

Suddenly Nicole seemed shorter and thinner than Lucy remembered her. She was just a little girl, lying on a sofa. Lucy turned and stared at Noonan.

“Hi,” Noonan said, holding up his hand.

“Hi,” Nicole said.

Nicole struggled to one elbow. “We were just taking pictures,” Nicole said. “You believe me, don’t you?”

“Why were you taking pictures?” Lucy said.

“I made him do it. Oh, it’s not his fault. This girl in California was jerking him around, and I thought he should send her some funny pictures. We just got in the back of Peter’s car—”

“God, no,” Noonan said. “Peter’s car?”

Nicole turned toward him. “I was taking silly pictures of Edward on the rug,” she said.

“Do you know the person the car is registered to?” the policeman said.

“What were you doing with Peter’s car?” Noonan said.

“I must tell you that the person who owns this car may be in a lot of trouble,” the policeman said.

“We borrowed it for the afternoon. We just wanted to take the pictures,” Nicole said. “The cops are crazy. They almost killed us. They pulled in behind us at about a hundred miles an hour, and we weren’t doing anything. We weren’t doing anything but taking pictures — to send to his girlfriend. This is crazy,” Nicole said, starting to cry.

The policeman was staring at Noonan. Noonan said, “I know the person who owns the car. Yes.”

“And did the person realize what the car was being used for?” the policeman said.

“What happened?” Noonan said to Nicole.

“I was only taking pictures. I told you. Why are they making such a big deal out of this? They were going to be funny pictures for his uptight girlfriend. Nobody could see us. He was on the floor of the car.”

“Mrs. Spenser,” the policeman said. “May I speak to you in the other room?”

Lucy left Nicole crying on Noonan’s shoulder.

“Mrs. Spenser,” the policeman said, preceding her into the corridor, “we found a naked man in the back seat of a car with a minor. There are charges that pertain to this situation. When the film is developed, if we find any pictures of your niece … For your own peace of mind, I am sure that you want to ascertain whether or not there was foul play. We have confiscated the camera and film. Tomorrow, when the lab opens, the film will be developed. If there are pictures of your niece nude, I am afraid that the charge is going to be much more serious. Mrs. Spenser: perhaps you already see why we request a medical examination of your niece.”

“Don’t you believe her?” Lucy said.

“Mrs. Spenser, I don’t believe anything anybody tells me,” the policeman said. “Mr. Bartlett is in the lockup, and he tells me he should be released.”

“Keep him there,” she said.

When Lucy went back into the room, Nicole was calmer. Noonan was sitting with his arm around her shoulder.

“Nicole,” Lucy said. “At any point, did you have your clothes off?”

“Why would I?” Nicole asked shrilly. “They were pictures for his girlfriend.”

Lucy looked at the policeman. He looked back, as if he pitied her. Lucy wondered if she was crazy.

“You do realize that you were in a car in the woods with a naked man?” Lucy said.

“It was just Edward.”

The policeman showed his surprise. He looked at Lucy.

“Let me talk to her privately,” Lucy said.

The policeman looked doubtful. Then he left without saying anything. Noonan looked at Lucy and she nodded. He followed the policeman out of the room.

“Don’t tell them who I am,” Nicole said. “They don’t have any idea who I am.”

“Do you see the trouble you’ve caused?” Lucy said, so frustrated that she was close to tears.

“And don’t tell Piggy. I’m not just saying that to protect myself. If Piggy finds out, your life is going to be miserable. I’m telling you. He’s crazy about stuff like this.”

“What ‘stuff like this’?” Lucy said. “This is pretty bad, Nicole.”

“I swear to you,” Nicole said, “it was just a joke. They want to charge him with all sorts of things that are ridiculous. How can it be indecent exposure when we were in a car? Nobody was around.”

“Apparently the police were.”

“They almost killed us. They came tearing into the woods and almost hit the car. They were driving crazy. Lucy: you’ve got to believe me.”

“Whose idea was it to take the pictures?” Lucy said.

“It was mine. I swear it was mine.”

“Terrific,” Lucy said. “Think about it. Don’t you think that’s rather odd, that you’d have that idea?”

“I never said I was normal. You’ve got to talk to the cops. You’ll see tomorrow. There’s nothing of me on the roll. I told that guy over and over. Nothing happened.”

“Enough happened to ruin my night,” Lucy said.

“Lucy, please say something to that cop. Get me out of here. Come on.”

Lucy was getting angry now. “You’re fourteen,” she said. “Fourteen-year-olds don’t get in the back seat of a car with a naked man.”

“It was for a joke. It was Edward.”

“You’re fourteen years old,” Lucy said.

“Come on, Lucy,” Nicole said. “That’s not fair. You know nobody ever thinks about that.”