Love & Honor

Chapter Twenty-Four

Shortly after dawn, Blair was awakened by a faint stirring beside her. She opened her eyes to find Cam seated on the side of the bed, naked. Reaching out one hand, she stroked the length of her spine and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Cam said quickly. Turning in the gray light, she smiled down at her, brushed a lock of hair from Blair's cheek, then leaned to kiss her softly.

"Couldn't sleep?" Blair asked once Cam straightened again. "I must be slipping."

Cam laughed faintly. "Oh no-believe me, you're not. I was just a little restless. I guess I'm used to being up and working by now."

"Lie down," Blair said, taking her lover's hand and drawing her down beside her. When Cam stretched out on her back, Blair raised on one elbow and searched her face. "You want to tell me who she is?"

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?" Surprisingly, her tone held neither anger nor accusation, only the question.

"I don't know precisely who she is. I never have."

"And if you did?"

"Even if I knew her name, I probably wouldn't tell you," Cam confessed.

"To protect her?"

"Partly," Cam replied carefully, watching Blair's face. "But mostly to protect you."

"I heard a rumor that you were paying for sex. Is that true?"

If Cam was surprised by the bluntness of the question, she didn't show it. Her dark eyes held Blair's steadily as she said, "Yes."

"With her?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Blair ran her hand down the center of Cam's abdomen, tracing the muscles etched below the skin, her eyes following the path of sinew and bones down the length of her thighs. The sight never failed to make her think of a form sculpted by an artist. "God only knows, you don't need to."

"It was simpler."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Simpler?"

"It was easy to schedule; there were no complications; there were no repercussions."

"A simple business arrangement, huh?"

"Something like that."

Blair leaned forward and kissed her, a long slow sensuous kiss that held both reminders of passions past and promises of future pleasures. When she drew back, the corner of her full mouth lifted in a satisfied smile. "Cameron, cut the secret agent stuff. Why did you do it?"

For one of the few times Blair could ever remember, Cam averted her gaze. Silently, she waited for Cam to make a decision, one that she knew was more about them and their future than anything that had happened in the past. At length, Cam looked at her and answered.

"The day my lover Janet was killed, we'd made love in the morning. But we'd had angry words, too, and we parted angry. I hadn't known the details of a dangerous assignment she was involved in until, as it turned out, it was too late. We kept secrets from each other as a matter of routine. We were both used to living that way. It was comfortable, and I don't think either of us wanted to risk too much. After I watched her die, I couldn't bring myself to make to love anyone else."

"Because you still loved her?" Blair was pleased that her voice did not waver on the words.

"No." Cam blew out a breath. "Because I felt guilty for not having loved her more. I keep thinking maybe I could have changed the way it turned it out if I had."

"Im sorry", Blair whispered.

"Its over", Cam said quietly. She smoothed her palm over Blairs thigh. "But thanks."

"The woman last night-she'sin love with you, you know."

"No," Cam said quickly, her voice adamant. "It wasn't like that."

Blair ran her fingertips along Cam's jaw to the corner of her mouth. "Not for you maybe. Maybe."

"We never shared anything like this, Blair," Cam insisted.

"I'm glad," Blair said honestly. "It makes me wild to think of you making love with her. I can't even contemplate you sharing this with her."

Cam brushed her fingers through the hair at the base of Blair's neck, her thumb moving over the skin behind her ear, a caress at once tender and possessive. "I've never shared anything like this with anyone before."

"I love you, Cam."

"I like the way that sounds."

"Yeah, me, too."

Blair settled down on the bed and rested her head on Cam's shoulder, her hand lying on the arch of Cam's hip, her fingers slowly moving back and forth. As calmly as she could, she asked, "So why was she here last night."

"It's not something you should know about. For security reasons."

"Fuck security. Just tell me."

"Someone is investigating the organization she works for," Cam disclosed reluctantly. "My name has come up. She wanted to warn me."

"Jesus." Blair pushed away and sat up in bed, brushing her hair back from her face with both hands, suddenly intense and focused. "Who?"

"I don't know. My guess is it's probably an FBI sting operation. I suppose it could be a RICO investigation out of Justice, but I've never heard that this organization has any mob connections. It's hard to know, but everything I was able to find out about them suggested they didn't."

"Can they hurt you with this?"

Cam was silent.

"Damnit, Cameron. Tell me."

"In all likelihood, I would lose my security clearance. If that happens, I'll never do this kind of work again."

"Under any other circumstances, the thought of that would make me happy," Blair said sharply. "But not like this. No one is going to do this to you. What else?"

"I don't know for sure. Apparently there've been questions about your father, too. I have to think that was just a fishing expedition, and even if it were fact, I'm not sure what they could do with the knowledge."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. If I could find out who was behind it, especially if it were unsanctioned by any official division, I might be able to turn it around on them."

"I know someone I might be able to get information from," Blair said absently, thinking about AJ. AJ had given her Cam's home address after much coercion, but just the same, shehad gotten the information.

Cam shot straight up in bed "No. Youcannot come anywhere near this. I've jeopardized you just by telling you what I have. Don't you realize that under oath you'd have to reveal what I told youand that by knowing, youre complicit in the crime? You have to let this go, Blair. I never would have told you any of this if we weren't lovers."

"You can't expect me to stand by and watch someone try to ruin you."

"This may not even be about me. I may just be a sideline to whoever is behind this. Until they make their next move, we don't know what this means."

"Oh, come on," Blair said deprecatingly. "They're sendingme pictures of you in bars with women. Who else are they going to send the pictures to, my father's Security Director?"

"Just promise me youll stay out of it, and I promise I'll tell you whatever I discover. Please."

"I'm not going to promise anything right now, because I don't want to lie to you."

"Goddamn it, Blair-"

"You'd do the same in my position."

For a moment, they stared at one another in tense silence until finally Cam nodded once, still muttering under her breath.

"Is there anythingelse you haven't told me?" Blair asked, her expression resolute.

"One thing," Cam finally admitted.

Blair's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

Cam sighed. "There's going to be a formal inquiry into the operation in New York City."

"An inquiry?"

"My actions are being reviewed." She hesitated, then added reluctantly, "They may ask for my suspension until it's finished."

"When did you learn this?" Blair's voice was steel again.

"I met with Stewart Carlisle last night and he confirmed it."

"Confirmed it? So you knew there was a possibility of this before?"

"It was just a possibility," Cam said uneasily.

"It came up during the debriefings last week, didn't it?" Blair said, her anger escalating. "That's why you left here so suddenly in the middle of the night, and why you haven't been sleeping, and why you look like hell half the time. And you didn't tell me."

"There wasn't anything to tell," Cam insisted. "It hadn't been decided then."

"And while I was relaxing in San Francisco-reading, shopping, talking with your mother- you knew that this could happen. Butyou didn't think it was important enough to tell me. Goddamn it, how are we going to have a relationship if this is the way you behave with me."

Cam stared at her, speechless. "I thought we alreadyhad a relationship."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it. I love you. It's not just about sex and it's not just about attraction. It's about needing to be with you. It's about needing to be in your life. What's so hard to understand about that?" She threw back the sheets and started to get out of bed. Cam stopped her with a hand on her forearm.

"I'm sorry. I've never done this with anyone. It's a habit-it's what I'm used to. That can change."

"I'm sorry for asking," Blair said, her voice pitched low, her eyes averted.

"No," Cam said forcefully. "Don't apologize for asking me for what you need, especially when it's the right thing for both of us. That's part of this love deal, too, right?"

Blair glanced at her, but said nothing. Cam slid her arm around Blair's waist, pulling her back down on the bed. "From the beginning I've needed you to help me see what I needed. You never let upyou never gave up. I hope you never do."

Blair smiled at that and curled against the welcoming warmth and strength of her body, murmuring, "Youre going to drive me crazy."

"Yeah, but I love you like crazy."

"I suppose there is that."

"Before you fall asleep, you need to make a call," Cam said drowsily.

"To who?" Blair mumbled.

"The White House detail commander. When you're not there in the morning, they're going to start a manhunt."

Blair sighed and rolled over, reaching for her cell phone on the bedside table. "I'll call one of my friends on the inside. That should take care of it."

"Good," Cam replied. "Because I have plans for you in the morning."