Love Me If You Must

20

My heart dropped into my stomach. I sat flabbergasted, staring at the flickering candle and mulling over David’s implications. I didn’t care that my Flamingo nails and Mango lips had come in full contact with one another.

Brad and Rebecca?

I caught myself chewing on a fingernail. At least it was fake.

I forced my hands to the table.

Was Brad the reason Rebecca had left David in the first place? But why weren’t Brad and Rebecca together now? I thought back to Halloween night, sitting with Brad on my porch. No wonder there had been a softness in the police officer’s voice when he spoke of Rebecca. He was still in love with her.

But if that were true, then Brad should be happy that Rebecca was divorcing David. Instead, the news had made him seem sad.

I glanced at David. His eyes looked raw.

He leaned forward and rested one hand on the tablecloth close to me. “I’m sorry I mentioned Rebecca. I promised myself I wouldn’t tonight.”

His voice sounded raspy.

Compassion bubbled up inside me. “There’s no reason to pretend you aren’t hurting.”

Dinner salads appeared on our place mats. The waiter made a silent escape.

David speared a cherry tomato. “Loving Rebecca was like loving a rainbow. Beautiful, but unattainable. The closer I tried to get, the further she’d slip away. Until there was nothing left between us. Absolutely nothing.”

My heart ached for him. “I’m sure you did the best you could. Some people simply can’t open themselves up.” I dug into my salad.

David gave a half smirk. “It’s nice of you to try and see Rebecca’s side. But the truth is, she’s a coldhearted witch who’d do anything to anybody as long as it meant getting ahead.”

I leaned back in my chair, hoping to dodge the beams of anger shooting from David’s eyes. From the turn the conversation had taken, I realized it was far too soon for him to be out on a date, unless it was with a licensed therapist.

I dabbed at my lips with my napkin. “Tell me about your renovation project. I’m so envious. Your place is just beautiful.”

David’s jaw clenched. “I’m glad you like it. It’s a monument to the three worst years of my life.”

I laughed. “I can relate. Anyone who survives a renovation project can tell a few war stories. Still, you must be pleased that everything turned out so well.”

“I believe all expectations were met. If they weren’t, the builder would still be there, doing it over until he got it right.”

“A perfectionist, I see.”

As far as my own projects went, perfection was a goal, not a requirement. I knew all too well how tricky old homes could be. Attempting perfection would drive me to the brink, if I weren’t there already.

“I’m no perfectionist,” David said. “The renovation was Rebecca’s baby. Literally.”

I chewed the last of my lettuce as I digested the disappointing news. I had been certain David was the brainchild behind the flawless revival. I had felt such a bond with him, such a kinship because of our common love for old homes. Now to find out Rebecca had handled all the details.

I shifted in my seat. “Wow. She’s incredibly talented. I can’t hold a candle to that.”

“Don’t be so sure. Your passion for that place of yours will shine through in the end. Rebecca, on the other hand, renovated the house for the advancement of her career. You don’t get a degree in architecture from the University of Michigan and not have a show house to splash across every suburban newspaper’s life section.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize Rebecca was an architect.” My self-esteem dropped a mile. How could I compete with that? But there was no room for regrets. If my life hadn’t happened the way it had, I would never be renovating homes for a living. Who knew where I’d be today?

I looked at the handsome, hurting man across from me. One thing was certain: I had the same opportunities today that I’d had ten years ago. It was up to me to either grab hold of the good in front of me, or let him slip away and hope I got another chance at love ten years from now.

Skip loneliness. I choose love.

Any kinks could be worked out along the way.

I wanted to drop the whole Rebecca thing. I really did. But curiosity consumed me. “So what’s Rebecca doing now? Is she still renovating homes?”

David stared at his water glass. “No. She’s out in California, designing skyscrapers at her new firm.”

I nodded. California was at least a thousand miles away. That was a good thing. I didn’t want Rebecca to be the one rainbow that arced back down to earth to reclaim what she’d tossed away.

My beef Wellington arrived along with David’s mutton dish. Steam drifted up from the rich gravy and garlic mashed potatoes. I cut through the pastry pocket and sliced off a piece of beef. I chewed, enthralled with the tender meat.

I swallowed and cut another sliver of beef, reviewing my decision to move to Rawlings. The quaint town made the perfect place to settle down. After David and I got married, we’d live in his Greek Revival, since my Victorian was destined for sale. We’d walk to the Whistle Stop for a cup of morning coffee. We’d sup at the Rawlings Hotel on special occasions. I would go back to school and finish my degree, picking some clever field that allowed more freedom than the average nine-to-fiver.

And we’d have children. Cute little chubby-cheeked, plump-lipped, freckled British cherubs.

“It looks like you’re enjoying your meal,” David said, startling me out of my pie-in-the-sky line of thinking. No sense going too far down the wedding aisle without first getting the consent of the groom.

“Mmm. Everything’s delicious. I can see why you enjoy coming here.” I dabbed at my lips and took a sip of water.

“Rebecca spoke to the chef when we first moved to Rawlings and convinced him to incorporate some of my favorite traditional English meals. Needless to say, we were regulars here.”

“That’s nice.” Rebecca’s name was starting to grate on me. I wondered if she’d ever sat in the chair I was sitting in. Certainly her perfectly pink nails had coordinated with her barely blush lip color.

“Don’t you love how beautifully they’ve decorated this place?” I asked, steering back to a neutral topic.

“It’s exquisite,” David agreed. “A few years ago, the whole downtown area was dying. Rebecca helped pull together the local merchants. They started promoting the village in the suburbs. Now it’s one of the more attractive and successful historic downtowns in the area.”

“Is there anything Rebecca can’t do?” I smiled to cover my feeling of inferiority. I’d never be the woman Rebecca was. I couldn’t form merchant alliances. I couldn’t revive whole downtowns. I couldn’t even get my contractor to show up.

I swirled my mashed potatoes into the vegetable medley.

Across from me, David pushed his plate aside, finished with his meal. Obviously, he had less on his mind than I did. I kept chewing and swallowing, determined to finish every delicious bite of food on the fancy china before stress-induced indigestion kicked in.

He checked his watch, then leaned close. “So. What about you, Tish? What’s your life story?”

Candlelight danced in his eyes.

I pushed my plate aside and rested my chin in one palm. “You heard most of my story already. After Gram died, I left the area for about three years. When I came back, I moved into her old house and fixed it up. From there, it’s the same story, different location.”

David smiled. “Never been married? Never been in love?”

“Never been married. Thought I was in love once, back in college. Never talked to the guy, but I would have married him in a heartbeat, if he’d have asked.”

“Let me guess. He was in the engineering program.”

“How’d you know?” I gave his hand a playful push. The touch shook me. I pulled away and crossed my arms.

Our eyes linked. I tried to steady my breathing, certain he could tell I was practically gasping for air.

“Tish.” My name lingered on his tongue. “You are so beautiful. Your smile is so warm. And I can tell you have a very gentle spirit.” He shook his head. “Next to you, Rebecca’s the Ice Queen.”

I tapped my fingers on my arm. He was doing so well until he said her name.

I leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Thanks for the compliment, but I think it’s going to be awhile before you get Rebecca out of your system. Let’s just keep things platonic for now.”

My heart felt like it was ripping in two even as I said it. But David was still getting over Rebecca’s departure. I was still recovering from Lloyd & Sons’ abandonment. No sense starting things on the rebound. Everyone knew that was a recipe for failure.

“I understand,” David replied. He leaned toward me on one elbow. His eyes sparkled with challenge.

I swallowed.

On the other hand, there was nothing like romance to take one’s mind off life’s problems. So what if David and I didn’t end up married? We could at least have a little fun while the world with all its problems kept on spinning.

Unless, of course, it turned out that David had used his key to my house to let himself in, then propped open the basement window with the stick so he could get back in later. And he would only have done that if every word out of his mouth this evening had been a lie.

And it was Rebecca’s body buried in my basement.