Love Me to Death

SIXTEEN

Sean walked Lucy to her front door. She was vibrant, her cheeks red from the cold, her dark eyes sparkling from the cheesecake sugar rush, topped with a glass of champagne.

Sean was pleased with himself that he had been able to distract Lucy after her earlier attack of nerves. Two hours later, she finally seemed relaxed.

He hadn’t forgotten what she said, however. She thought someone was watching her. He didn’t discount it as a personal defect the way she had. With all the stuff going on with Morton’s murder, maybe someone was paying too much attention to Lucy.

“Thank you so much, Sean.” Lucy sighed contently as she unlocked the door. They stepped inside, the light snow still swirling around. “I’m so glad we went out for dessert.” She reached over to disarm the alarm.

“Anything for you, milady,” he said with an accent and half bow. He wanted to kiss Lucy, but he hesitated. Hesitating was unlike him. What was wrong with him? He never had a problem—ever—in showing a woman he was interested.

But Lucy wasn’t any woman. He’d known that from the first time he’d met her.

And she was his partner’s sister. Patrick was his friend and business partner. He hadn’t told Patrick he was interested in Lucy.

And she wasn’t the kind of woman he usually dated. He liked dating girls who liked to have fun, just like him. Skiing, spontaneous trips cross country in his plane, skinny-dipping in a lake. His ex-girlfriends were generally nine-to-fivers or trust-fund princesses with no devotion to anything but themselves. He liked that, because that meant he never felt guilty when he broke it off.

None of those girls had lasted more than a few months.

That Lucy was special couldn’t be more obvious to him, but Sean knew himself and had never shied away from the truth. He screwed up relationships right and left. Not at the beginning—he had courtship down to a fine science. But after the romance wore off, he became bored with the monotony of the same old, same old. Different girl, same problems. Superficial desire that wore off quicker with each passing woman.

There was nothing superficial about Lucy Kincaid, and absolutely nothing superficial about his desire for her.

“What’s going through that mind of yours?” she asked.

“I want to kiss you,” he said before he realized the words left his mouth.

“Do you usually ask first?”

“No.”

She tilted her chin up defiantly and looked almost angry, her dark pupils widening. “Then don’t ask.”

Sean put his left hand on the back of Lucy’s neck, her long, soft hair luxurious in his fingers. He searched her face for any reticence, any doubt. Her expression was serious and for a second he thought he’d misunderstood her, that she wanted him to back off. Then her full lips parted just a fraction, and he leaned down and kissed her.

She tasted sweet, like the cheesecake and champagne they’d shared. He’d intended to give her one warm good-night kiss with a promise of more, but he didn’t want to let go. He wanted to taste more of her, to feel more of her. He gently pressed his body against Lucy, her back bending as her head dipped back to continue the long kiss.

Her hands found his biceps, then inched up to his shoulders. Her thumbs held his neck, attaching him to her as much as he kept her close to him.

Any other woman, and he’d be moving this dance to the bedroom. But Lucy wasn’t a one-night stand. He was confident in his powers of seduction, but he didn’t want to push too fast. He wanted—needed—to do this right.

But she fit so well against him, he didn’t want to stop.

Yet if he didn’t, he would make mistakes. He knew it as certainly as he knew that the sun would rise over the Atlantic tomorrow.

He slowly pulled his lips away, holding her close. He looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed, but they opened the moment after he broke the kiss. She appeared bewildered, like she didn’t know where she was, as if she’d been lost for the last few minutes. She licked her lips, then glanced down and stepped back demurely, almost as though embarrassed. He pulled her back to him and kissed her lightly, showing her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

“I’d like to take you on an official date,” Sean said.

“A date?” she repeated.

“Tonight wasn’t official. This was … filling in for your brother.”

“I—”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” she repeated.

“I’ll pick you up at ten a.m.”

“Ten.” She shook her head and glanced down, sheepish. “I have church. I usually go to nine o’clock Mass. How about eleven or so?”

He almost said he’d pick her up at eight-thirty for church, but he hadn’t stepped inside a church since his parents’ funeral fifteen years ago. “I’ll pick you up there. Ten, okay?”

She nodded. “Holy Trinity. On Thirty-sixth between—”

“I know where it is.” He kissed her again. “Ten in the morning.” He kissed her one last time. “I’d better go before we let any more snow inside.”

Lucy had forgotten she’d opened the door, and stared at the puddle of melting snow that had blown in through the crack. “I’d better clean that up before Kate sees it,” she said, then smiled at Sean. “You’re a distraction.”

She kissed him spontaneously, surprising herself. “Thanks again.” Her insides were light and airy, a far cry from the way she’d felt only a few hours ago. She should be freezing standing on the small covered stoop, but she was anything but cold.

“My pleasure, ma’am,” he said with a warm grin, his dimples showing.

She smiled and closed the door behind him. She waited, listening for his car, until it had started and driven off.

Lucy couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so comfortable with someone. When she’d felt so attracted. Maybe because tonight hadn’t been a date, there hadn’t been any pressure on her to act normal. Everything they said and did was almost spontaneous. For the first time in a long, long time, she felt like a typical woman.

He’d asked her out on a date. An official date. When was the last time she’d dated anyone? Cody? That wasn’t right. She considered, and realized that while she’d gone out with one or two men since breaking it off with Cody, she’d eased herself away from any potential commitment after the second date. She’d been with Cody for nearly two years—it had been comfortable and normal, until he proposed and she realized she didn’t love him. She couldn’t imagine being married to him—or to anyone. The thought of marriage left her cold and panicky. Odd, considering her parents had an incredible, forty-five-year marriage—and counting.

But Lucy wasn’t normal, and she knew that. Her past would always be part of her. While she’d learned not to let her past control her, it colored all her decisions, leading her down this path in front of her. The FBI. Fighting predators.

Why shouldn’t she enjoy the company of Sean Rogan? Didn’t she deserve a little happiness?

She vowed to have fun tomorrow, no matter what. She probably wouldn’t have a choice—Sean had a knack of getting to the heart of whatever was bothering her and turning it around without making her feel foolish.

Lucy’s romantic thrill ended when she glanced at her computer and remembered what Cody had said earlier.

“Did you change the location?”

He’d been so positive, which meant the bartender had been convincing, which meant that the bartender was simply repeating what Prenter said. That he was meeting a hot blonde.

It wasn’t “Tanya” who’d talked dirty to him. Prenter was obviously embellishing—he was a convicted rapist who had an inflated sense of ego.

But Prenter was at another bar at the same time he’d told her online identity to meet him at the Firehouse in Fairfax. The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that he’d been working a couple of women online, and the “hot blonde” who talked dirty had given him a better offer than the more reticent “Tanya.”

She sat down at the computer and logged into her “Tanya” account. With a little work, she could find every person with whom Prenter had chatted. It might not be completely legal—it would require hacking in as an administrator, but that wasn’t difficult since she knew all the protocols that this particular site used.

Most likely Prenter had ditched “Tanya” for a better prospect; it was the only thing that made sense. Maybe it had been that girl from the alley, the one he may have drugged.

She frowned as her computer query yielded no results. In fact, she couldn’t find Prenter on the site at all. His profile was gone. Deleted. Had the police secured it? If so, there should be something that showed that his account was here, but locked. There should be a record of his chats in the admin area, even if they didn’t have any data. It was common for users to lock their profiles when they didn’t want strangers contacting them. His screen name should be here—but it wasn’t.

Lucy logged out and tried to create an account using his log-in. It was available to use, which meant that no other registered user in the chat community had it, locked or unlocked.

Why would the police delete his account? It made no sense. Not for what on the surface appeared to be a routine homicide. And so quickly? He was killed only forty-eight hours ago.

Lucy shut down her computer, but it took her a long time to fall into a troubled sleep.

I watch her bedroom light turn off. Her room is dark. She is alone.

Except for the woman in the house, who I know to be a cop. A federal cop.

The house is owned by Dillon Kincaid and Katherine Donovan. They are married. Married—that pussy-whipped bastard let the bitch keep her maiden name. Now I do not wonder how Ms. Lucy Kincaid turned out to be a lying, whoring killer, with role models like that.

It is war. Us against them. Most men are pleased to give in to the demands of females. Let them work. Let them play. Let them do whatever fucking damn thing they want! Let them cheat, let them lie, let them leave.

I close my eyes and the rage flows through my veins, my sustenance, nurturing my needs as I remember.

Rosemarie.

I love you, Rosemarie.

I loved you through your lies and tricks. Did you always know you would disobey? I gave you the world because I wanted you to stay with me, and still you left!

You pretended to love me, but you loved your friends more. You pretended to be with me, but when you cried out you called his name.

I miss you, Rosemarie.

Father knew best, and I should have listened. He lived through the same thing, but I thought you would stay if all you depended on came from me! If your dreams and hopes and needs were fulfilled by me, you would never leave. I worked day and night for you! You lying, cheating whore, you used me like every woman uses man. Like Eve used Adam, like Delilah used Samson, like every other woman in the world used man.

But you were weak. All women are weak. All women need to be taught to obey.

To stay.

To beg.

To fetch.

Like the bitches they are.

I am one of the few left. The only one who understands that until women once again know their place, our society, our future, is gone. All women should be trained by me. Only the most obedient will survive. Only those who do exactly what I say will live.

I have not yet found any worthy.

I will come for you, Lucy. Very soon.