Love's Melody Lost

Graham drew a shuddering breath. "Are you sure?" The eyes she turned to Anna were wounded, nearly devoid of hope. She hadnt the strength to contain her despair, and the sight of it ripped at Annas heart.

Her situation with Graham was no clearer, but at least she wouldnt have to face Christine every day. She knew she would be miserable if she left. She couldnt imagine never seeing Graham again. At least now she would have time to make some sense of her tumultuous desires. Anna cupped Grahams face gently in her hands. "Im very sure. I want to stay."

Graham pressed her lips to Annas palm, her relief nearly palpable. Only time would tell if Anna had made the right decision.

Chapter Fourteen

With Christines departure, a semblance of harmony returned to Yardley. With the end of summer, Anna resumed her classes three days a week, which left more than ample time to manage the household needs and Grahams business requirements. She met with Graham at the end of her day, and more often than not, they merely talked. Graham was keenly interested in Annas studies, and Anna found herself recounting her days in detail while they shared a glass of sherry. It was something she looked forward to each day, and it seemed that Graham did as well. Their relationship had developed into a comfortable but reserved companionship.

Neither of them made further mention of the episode on the balcony the night of Helens party. Anna did not know how to broach it, and Graham seemed to avoid any possibility of intimacy. Although Graham welcomed their conversations, she was physically remote. She was careful not to touch Anna even when it would have been natural to. Her caution in this regard did not escape Annas notice, and Anna interpreted it as an unspoken declaration from Graham that their brief physical interlude had been an aberration of circumstance. It had been a tense and stressful period for both of them, and in the intensity of the moment that night, Graham had responded to Annas overture. Obviously, it was not something Graham wished to repeat.

Anna for her part tried her best to forget what had passed between them, and to content herself with the relationship they were slowly, carefully building. Graham was not so quick to withdraw from her at the slightest mention of her past; in fact, to Annas amazement, Graham occasionally alluded to some previous event with an ease that was absent a few months before. Graham was beginning to trust her, and for now that appeared to be the most she could hope for. Anna resigned herself to what they could share together, because she knew in the final analysis, she would be miserable without Graham in her life. She tried not to think of what she would do if what they had now was all Graham ever wanted.

Perhaps the only person at Yardley who was able to see just what was happening between the two of them was Helen. She knew the extent to which Graham was capable of closing off parts of herself, and of denying her own wants and needs. Graham had deluded herself for years with Christine. Helen wondered if she would be as successful disavowing her feelings for Anna.

When Helen brought tea into Graham late one afternoon, Graham greeted her warmly. She was at work at the piano, as relaxed as Helen had seen her in many years. Helen thought approvingly of how good Graham looked. She was no longer unnaturally pale, nor wraithlike thin. Her lean form was stronger from the time she spent outside. She had taken to joining Helen and Anna most evenings for dinner, and their conversations were light and easy. Helen thought she understood the reason for Grahams emergence from the torpor that had enveloped her, but she wondered if Graham truly did. As Graham grew more peaceful, Helen couldnt help but notice that Anna became more despondent.

"Thank you, Helen," Graham said fondly as she rose, stretching from her seat at the piano. She felt wonderfulher world was filled with sound, the way it had been when she was young. Her blood stirred with long-forgotten excitement. She attributed it to the ease with which she was working and the satisfaction that brought her. She refused to admit to herself that Annas return was the moment she waited for all day.

"You look happy, Graham," Helen remarked.

"Happy?" Graham said, wondering if that was what she felt. "Yes, perhaps thats it. At any rate, Helen, the music is returningand that is more than I ever expected to have again in this life."

"Im happy for you," Helen said, and she truly rejoiced in the change in Graham over the last few months. But she couldnt help but wonder if that was all Graham wanted from life. The passionate woman she had known would never have been content alone. Graham had needed the sustenance of love to balance the soul-draining demands of her work. She had made a disastrous misjudgment in relying on Christine so completely, and she had paid a dreadful price for it. Helen only hoped that that disappointment had not destroyed Grahams ability to accept love when it was offered from the heart.

**********

Anna tossed her knapsack on the hall table, waving to Helen as she headed toward the music room. She knew Graham would be there, as she always was at this time of day. She tapped lightly on the door before entering. Graham lifted one hand, the other poised over the piano keys.

"Just a minute. Ive nearly finished."

Anna crossed quietly to stand beside Graham, watching as she played, marveling at the graceful sweep of her fingers on the keys. As her hands literally caressed the instrument, her face reflected all the emotions the music gave form to. The combination of watching Grahams face and hearing her creation stirred Anna unexpectedly. As the notes dissipated in the air, Graham became motionless, her hands lying still on her thighs.

"Its wonderful," Anna breathed softly.

Graham lifted her face to Anna, an uncharacteristic uncertainty clouding her features. "Do you really think so?" she asked quietly.

Sometimes Anna felt as much a prisoner of Grahams blindness as Graham certainly was. She felt so much more than her words could communicate, and she wished that Graham could read in her face how deeply she was moved. As it stood alone, Grahams music could bring her to tears. She knew that from standing outside this room, stilled in mid-step by what she heard. She knew because she had sought out the recordings Graham had made years before. She played them when she was alone, imaging Grahams face as she listened. For her, nothing was more heart-rending than watching Graham play, raw passions exposed, as the music swirled in the air. For Graham not to see what she was capable of stirring in others pierced her heart.

Instinctively, she placed both hands gently on Grahams shoulders, leaning over to whisper, "It makes me ache. Will you play it for me from the beginning?" She had never asked before.

Graham reached up to cover Annas hand with her own, surprised once again by the warmth of her skin. She lingered like that for a moment, then settled her hands on the keys.

"Yes."

Anna moved reluctantly away, not wanting to dispel that rare moment of affection. Still, she knew Graham had taken another step toward allowing Anna into her life. Graham had not been willing for anyone to hear more than fragments of a work in progress for years. Anna settled into a nearby chair from which she could watch Graham play. She found herself holding her breath as the melody swelled to fill the air. She would not have believed that there could be such a thing as too much beauty, but the sight and sounds of Graham Yardley overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes and let the golden tones carry her away. When the room stilled, it took her a moment to find her composure. She was trembling, and her voice seemed to have deserted her. When she opened her eyes, she found that Graham had turned to face her, her head bent, waiting.

"I've never imagined anything so exquisite," Anna said quietly. "Your music is a gift to the world, Graham. Thank you so much for sharing it with me."

Graham lifted her head, her face wet with tears.

"I thought it was gone forever," she murmured, her voice breaking.

The sight of her tears was Annas undoing. She meant only to take Grahams hand in hers, but she found herself pulling Graham up into her arms instead. She held her close, whispering, "Oh god, Grahamyour music breaks my heart. You break my heart."

Graham struggled with the response Annas embrace wrought. Annas body was pressed to hers; she felt the rise and fall of Annas soft breasts with each breath; their hearts seemed to race as one. Annas nearness, and her words, filled her with a longing so intense her carefully maintained barricades threatened to crumble. And she feared that if she gave rein to her emotions, she would be captive to them as she had been with Christine. She knew she could not survive another disappointment. If such pain ever returned anew, she would surely break. What Anna touched in her was a place too dangerous to expose. For the sake of whatever sanity she had left, she could not let that happen.

Anna felt Graham stiffen, but she only pulled her tighter. Was there no way for Anna to show her how precious she was? "You are so rare! There is such grace and beauty and tenderness in your soul. And you dont even know it, do you?! You are so specialI cant begin to tell you" She had no words, only sensations. Admiration, respect, protectiveness, sympathy, and sweet, swift longing. Everything condensed at once until Anna had to give form to her feelings or explode. Her hands moved from Grahams back to cup her jaw, then slid into her hair as she groaned softly, "If only I could tell you-" Her lips met Grahams as the words escaped her in a rush.

Graham gasped at the contact, her control all but shattered. For an instant she knew only the well-spring of desire that rippled through her, the moist heat that flooded from her. With a groan she opened herself to the raging fire, embracing its source. Even as she pulled Anna roughly to her, giving herself fully to the kiss, a suffocating dread began to eclipse her passion. She felt more vulnerable than she had during the first seconds of her blindness, when she opened her eyes to a darkness more terrifying than anything she had ever experienced. This was what she truly had isolated herself from all these years - this horrible power that love wielded over her.

"Anna, no-" Graham rasped, catching the hands that brushed down her shirt front toward her breasts. She grasped Annas wrists softly, gently disengaging from their embrace. She struggled for air for an instant, her brain whirling, then finally managed to whisper hoarsely, "You honor me, Anna. With your appreciation, with your deep kindness. I am only too glad to give you what I can with my music. That it pleases you means more to me than I can say. But that is all I can give, Anna - Im sorry."

**********

Grahams withdrawal was like a knife slashing through Anna's depths. Must she always be left with this terrible emptiness? She didnt want to let her go, but she knew she must. She could not force Graham to feel as she felt, to want what she wanted.

"Its I that am sorry," she replied shakily. "I cant seem to stop throwing myself at you. Youve made it perfectly clear -"

"Anna, dont," Graham murmured. "There is no need for an apology."

Anna drew a long breath, steadying herself. When she spoke again her voice had a steely calm. "Thank you, Graham, for trusting me with your music. It meant more to me than I can ever say." She turned to leave, but couldnt help but ask, "Will I see you at dinner?"

Graham shook her head, "Not tonight, Anna."

**********

"Is Graham coming for dinner?" Helen asked as she set out the hot rolls to cool.

Anna shook her head, busying herself with the dishes. She didnt trust herself to speak, she was still shaking.

"Working still, is she?"

"Yes," Anna managed.

Helen gave her a concerned look. The girl was completely white. "Everything going all right?" she asked cautiously.

"She finished something this afternoon," Anna replied hollowly. After a pause, she added softly, "It was unbelievable."

"Oh?" Helen asked in surprise. "She played it for you?"

"Yes, she did," Anna replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

Helen gave Anna her full attention, setting aside the roast she was carving. For Graham to have played for Anna was nothing short of a miracle, but it seemed to have produced anything but a happy response.

"Graham can be very self-absorbed when shes working. Sometimes she forgets about common civility and other peoples feelings," she ventured, thinking that Grahams notoriously volatile nature may have given offense.

"She was perfectly charming, as always," Anna remarked somewhat harshly. Graham raised even rejection to an art form. Damn her pristine control! Isnt there anything that affects her iron clad self-discipline ? Anna was only too afraid she knew the answer to that.

"Well, shes done something, now hasnt she?" Helen persisted softly.

"No, Helen," Anna began, surrendering to her frustration. " Ive done something." Ive fallen in love with her! She closed her eyes, searching for calm. She couldnt very well tell Helen that she wanted Graham to make love to her, now could she?

"I cant seem to reach her," she said carefully. "She is always polite, always cordial and her distance is driving me crazy. She wont accept one compliment; she cant hear one kind word, without mistrusting it! Its so hard when you care about her!" She caught back a sob, struggling for the tatters of her own self-control.

"Graham has been alone a very long time," Helen said carefully. "She has forgotten how to get on with people." She sensed it was more serious than that, but Helen didnt want to embarrass Anna if her assumptions were wrong. Annas moodiness hadnt escaped her notice, and neither had Grahams growing reliance on Anna. She had been expecting some kind of confrontation for weeks.

"Well, she certainly seemed to know how to get along with Christine!" Anna said angrily . She certainly didnt have any problems kissing her ! she wanted to shout. Oh god, I really am losing my mind!

"Christine?" Helen responded dismissively, "Graham suffered her presence, thats all."

"Im not so sure about that," Anna responded, her anger escalating, too hurt for caution. "She suffered a lot more than her presence . She allowed that woman to fall all over her, and she could deny her nothing!! I think shes still in love with her and is just too damn stubborn to admit it!"

"So she told you about them, did she?" Helen asked, beginning to get a better idea about the source of Annas distress.

"Yes, she told me!!" Anna barked. "The love affair to end all love affairs. Whether Christine is here or not, she will always have that hold on Graham! God, Im such a fool!"

Helen shook her head adamantly, "Oh no, my dear. You are wrong. Graham made a fool out of herself over that girl, but she wasnt so much a fool that she would do it twice!! When Christine left Graham for Richard Blair, she not only broke Graham's heart, she betrayed everything Graham believed love to be. As hard as it was, at some point even Graham had to accept that she was only an exciting and forbidden diversion for Christine. Love her still? No my dear, Graham would never have forgiven the betrayal."

"Then what is it that keeps her so apart?" Anna beseeched. "She is so talented, so sensitive, so kindhow can she bury all of that as if it meant nothing? As if she herself meant nothing? What is she hiding from??"

Helen had never seen Anna so distraught, and she knew the only words that might help her would also reveal Grahams deepest secrets. It was not for her to expose Graham in that way.

"Perhaps she just needs time, Anna. These last months, since youve come, shes changed so much. Oh, I know you cant see itbut I can. She no longer sits for hours, alone in her rooms, or wanders the bluff at all hours of the night. There is life in her now, Anna, life that has been missing for more than a decade! Just listen to her music if you dont believe me. You led her back into the world. You put a flower in her hand and showed her there was life that she could experience still. Such a simple thing as a flower! It took you to do that!"

Anna shook her head, feeling sad and defeated. "Whatever else she needs, I cant seem to give her. And I dont know how much more I can take." She looked at Helen with despair in her eyes. "Im sorry, Helen, you dont deserve this. I dont even know why Im so upsetI dont even know what Im feeling half the time. Its foolish of me to be carrying on like this. Maybe Im just being selfish - Graham certainly seems content." She gave Helen a tremulous smile and a swift hug. "Dont wait dinner for me," she said as she hurried from the room.

Helen looked after her, conflicting loyalties warring in her mind. As much as she adored Graham Yardley, she couldnt stand by and watch Anna suffer.

**********

"Graham?" Helen called at the music room door. She entered to find the room deserted. The doors to the terrace were open, despite the brisk October wind. A few leaves fluttered through and clustered on the floor. Grahams body was outlined in moonlight as she leaned against the balustrade, facing out to the night. Her light shirt whipped about her thin form in the wind.

Helen wrapped her shawl tighter around herself and ventured out. She was shocked by the chill in Grahams fingers when she covered her hand where it lay on the railing.

"Graham! Youre freezing. Come inside!"

"Im fine, Helen," Graham answered hollowly. "Go backits too cold here for you."

"And youre made of stone?" Helen snapped, her patience perilously close to gone. First Anna, and now Grahamthe two of them suffering was more than she could watch in silence.

"It seems that I am," replied Graham with a cynical smile.

"I know better than that, and you would too if youd let yourself admit it."

"Helen," Graham said warningly, "I love you like my own parent, but this is something you know nothing about. Let it alone, pleasefor my sake."

"I have!! All these years when you locked yourself away herebut theres not just you anymoretheres Anna."

"Helen" Graham growled harshly, "leave Anna out of this!"

"I would if I could, but thats not up to me, is it? Ive watched you dying slowly right before my eyes for too many yearsyou who I cherish with all my heart, and Ive never said a word, never tried to change your mind. I know how much you lost - and your sight was the least of it!"

"Helen, please," Graham whispered, her fists clenched against the stone rail, "please, dont do this now. Please let me have some peace."

"This is not peace, Graham! You may be blind, but your heart is notyou may think love deserted you, but you know as well as I do that wasnt love! I wont believe you cant recognize it when you feel it! Anna loves you"

"Anna pities me"

"No, Graham. For once your blindness has trapped you! I can see what you refuse to feel I only have to look at her look at you to know! She loves you, Graham!"

A groan escaped Graham as she turned away. "You know me Helen! You know what my life demands, what I demand! Do you truly think anyone, especially someone as young and vital as Anna, would stay, once she knew what it really meant? I might have killed Christine in the car that night, because she couldnt give me what I wanted- because she was leaving me. I believed once, and it destroyed me. I will not believe again-I cannot survive the loss."

"You underestimate her, Grahamand its not just yourself youre hurting now. Youre breaking her heart."

"No!" Graham shouted, her fists pounding the unyielding stone. "I cannot, I will not, let this happenit would destroy us both! I will not bind her to this barren world that is my heart. Now leave me, pleaseI beg of you." Her last words came in a choked whisper, and tears streaked down her anguished face.

Helen bent her head in defeat, longing to take the trembling woman in her arms. But she knew that Graham would not allow even that sympathy. What Graham feared was inside herself, and nothing could assuage her inconsolable grief.

Chapter Fifteen

Silence descended on Yardley Manor as each of them struggled to accept their disappointments. Anna went about her work with quiet resignation, an aching hollowness her constant companion. Whereas once the time she spent with Graham eased her loneliness, now seeing her only seemed to heighten it. And Graham, if possible, was even more remote. They spent less time together, as Graham often absented herself from the music room in the afternoons. Instead she worked late into the night, after the others were asleep. She had begun taking her meals alone again, although the trays came back barely touched. The music that echoed in the corridors was dark and melancholythe one place Graham could not hide her emotions was in her music. It was truly the mirror of her soul. Helen stood by helplessly, knowing that only Graham could change the course of their lives.

Late one evening, to Helens surprise, Graham came to the door of her sitting room.

"Graham, good gracious!" she exclaimed. "Whats wrong?"

"Helen," Graham said urgently, without preamble. "Where is Anna?"

Helen glanced at the clock on her mantle. It was almost eleven, and it occurred to her she hadnt seen Anna all evening. "I dont know. She wasnt here for dinner. Hasnt she come up?"

"No, and I havent heard the Jeep return," Graham remarked, barely able to hide her anxiety. In some part of her consciousness she waited for the day Anna would not return. It was impossible for her to work freely when Anna wasnt about the house or grounds. Especially recently, since their estrangement, she found herself listening for Anna's step in the hall or the distinctive crunch of gravel in the drive. As much as she expected Anna to leave, she feared it. When it happened, she would lose whatever small purchase on life she had left.

Helen could read the fear in Grahams face. Ordinarily she wouldnt have worried, but Anna hadnt been herself lately. Since the night they talked in the kitchen, Anna had been distracted and almost dazed. Helen worried she might have had an accident.

It was hard for Helen not to think of that awful night when the call had come about Graham. She remembered only too well the agonizing hour they had all spent while men worked to free her from the wreckage. It was an hour spent not knowing if she were still alive. Helen struggled to dispel the image and quell the surge of alarm. Anna must simply have forgotten to mention her plans. Any other possibility was more than she could bear to contemplate.

She struggled to keep her voice even. "Im sure shes fine, Graham. Go on to bed. Ill be up. If theres any problem, shell call."

A look of panic flickered across Grahams face. Helen knew as well as she that Anna never absented herself without word. With effort she said evenly, "Of course, youre right. Just the same, Ill wait in the library in case she calls."

Helen listened to the echo of her retreating steps, losing sight of her as she descended the dark stairway with a measured step. She knew Graham was every bit as stretched to the limit as Anna seemed to be. She wondered fearfully which one of them would lose the thin rein of control first.

The hallway was dark when Anna let herself into the house just after one in the morning. She jumped when a voice called out to her.

"Anna?"

Anna fumbled for the light switch as she stepped into the library. Graham was seated in a chair before the window that fronted the main drive, as she had been for hours.

"Graham?" Anna asked in surprise "What are you doing in here?"

"We were worriedHelen and I. I was waiting in case you called." Graham rose, and began to pace restlessly. "Although god knows what I thought I could do about it if you were in trouble," she laughed bitterly. "We make a fine pair, Helen and I. One who cant drive, and the other one blind!"

"Oh god, Graham," Anna cried. "I stayed to have dinner with my graduate advisorit wasnt planned. I should have called, but we started talking and I lost track of the time!" She felt miserable for having worried either of them.

Graham made an impatient gesture, infuriated with her helplessness, embarrassed by her near panic. "Nonsense. You dont owe either of us an explanation. Your private life is none of our affair. Where you spend your time- and with whom, does not concern us."

Anna gaped at her. She had to be the most infuriating woman she had ever met! "Is that what you think? That I was out on a date for gods sake?"

Graham straightened her shoulders, anger replacing her worry. There was no need for Anna to know she had spent several anxious hours fearing she had left for good. "I dont think anything one way or the other, nor do I care. As I said-"

"I know damn well what you said , Graham," Anna seethed, absolutely beyond caring whether she offended Graham or not. "What I dont understand is why you said it! You know very well how I feel about you, whether you chose to acknowledge it or not. Ive done everything short of begging you!! Dont insult me by suggesting I would simply wander off and find consolation elsewhere. Do you think youre the only one capable of a true and honorable emotion?? Damn your arrogance!"

"It was not my intention to insult you, Anna," Graham replied in an amazingly calm tone. She couldnt remember the last time someone raised their voice to her, other than Christine. Annas sincere distress had a greater affect on her than Christines tirades ever had. "I did not mean for us to come to this," she said softly. "I never meant to misrepresent myself to you in any way."

"Dont worry, Graham. You havent," Anna snapped. "It is I who have been mistaken, but I assure you, I will not trouble you again!" She grabbed her knapsack, intent on retreating before she completely lost the last vestige of restraint. She had tried so hard to be patient, to accept the depth of Grahams loss and disappointment, but it hadnt made any difference and she doubted it ever would.

"I have legal matters that require your assistance. Ill need to meet with you tomorrow," Graham said as Anna stepped out into the hall. She hated this animosity between them, but there seemed no other way.

"Certainly," Anna rejoined coldly. "Ill see you in the afternoon."

Anna left her there, but she could not bring herself to turn out the light, even though the darkness would not matter to Graham.

**********

Anna worked furiouslydigging up buried roots with a spade, slashing through briars with a machete, flinging clods of earth aside with a vengeance. Her pace matched her moodshe was still boiling. She wasnt sure whom she was angrier withGraham or herself. What had she expected? Graham Yardley was a wealthy, gifted woman who had known both fame and great passion in her life. Under any circumstances she would hardly be expected to notice someone like Anna, and now, after all she had suffered, she had no special feeling for Anna. Anna struggled for acceptance, but it was so hard! What she felt for Graham went so far beyond anything she had experienced, or dreamed of experiencing. The wanting surpassed simple desireshe felt inextricably linked to her, body and soul. When she saw Graham across the room, when the sound of her voice carried out into the garden, when she heard her piano whisper in the night, fire surged through Annas being. Some primal part of her had been called forth by this woman. The combination of Grahams great strength and her great need had awakened Annas deepest passion. To be near her, and so apart, was unendurable.

She was beginning to contemplate the unthinkable. She might need to leave Yardley. She didnt have the strength to subjugate her desires to reason - she simply couldnt be around Graham and not want her. For a few months she had managed to be content with their carefully contained relationship, but since the instant they had kissed, all that had changed. She couldnt forget it, and she couldnt stop wanting it again. She would lose her mind if she stayed, and if she left she would lose her soul. It was a choice that was no choice at all, and she cursed her own indecisiveness under her breath. She rubbed the tears from her face and grabbed her ax. She intended to cut down every dead limb at Yardley before the day was out!!

While Anna warred with her emotions and the tangled undergrowth, Graham paced the flagstone terrace fighting her own demons. She knew she was hurting Anna by refusing to acknowledge what was between them, and she had no answer for it. Anna had restored life to Yardley, and to herwith Anna had come the scent of fresh flowers and the teasing sound of notes in the air. Graham had responded to both as if light had suddenly been returned to her world. Her heart lifted to the sounds of Annas footsteps in the hall. Annas presence had muted the pain of years of loneliness. But Anna had awakened other senses as wellGraham knew the touch of her hands, the warmth of her skin, the soft fullness of her breasts. She knew the bruising demand of Annas kiss as her lips searched against Grahams mouth. If she made love to her, she would have to acknowledge what was in her heart. If she gave freedom to everything Anna ignited in her, she would never be able to live without her. That was what Graham retreated fromshe dared not entrust her soul again, and she could not love any other way.

They sat thus, separated not by distance, but by uncertainty.

**********

Anna sighed and stepped back from the line of trees she had been pruning. She could hear the delicate strains of the music Graham was playing wafting on the breeze. She glanced up at the sky, noting absently that clouds were amassing out over the ocean. She reached for her worn denim work jacket as the sudden wind off the water brought a brisk chill to the air. She didnt want to return to the house yet, she still felt too unsettled. She needed to fortify herself before she joined Graham in her music room for their late afternoon meeting.

Graham looked up from the keyboard as the curtains floated into the room on a chill breeze. The weight of the air on her face was dense and wet. Something ominous was stirring, and one word clamored in her mind - Anna ! She bolted up from the piano bench in a rush, pushing the terrace doors wide as she stormed through them. From the top of the stairs leading down the flagstone path to the lower reaches of the property, she called out into the gathering wind.

"Anna!!"

Anna looked up at the sound of Grahams voice, amazed to see the sky blackening around her. The rain and heavy winds were upon her before she knew it. In an instant a blinding wall of water blew in from the sea, drenching her and turning the garden path into a hundred yards of steep, slippery mud. To her horror she saw Graham start down toward her.

"Graham! No, go back!!" she cried, paralyzed with fear at the thought of Graham exposed in the storm. "Go back! Im coming up."

Abandoning her tools, Anna began to climb the path, struggling to keep her balance in the buffeting winds and pounding rain. Tree branches bent and broke in the wind, hurtling by in the swirling gale. Lightening flashed around her, and the house seemed impossibly far away. She heard a tremendous crash to her left and knew, even as she knew she could not move quickly enough to avoid it, that the old sycamore had been struck by lightening. She threw up an arm to shield her face and cried out as falling branches and limbs engulfed her. There was an instant of white-hot pain in her shoulder just as she met the ground with a jarring thud.

Her first sensation after the initial shock was of the penetrating cold that encompassed her. The ground beneath her cheek was sodden, and her denim jeans and shirt clung to her clammy skin. The cold was almost instantly replaced with a stabbing pain in her left side and a throbbing ache in the back of her head. Her next thought was even more terrifying. Where was Graham!? Oh my god! Shes out in this storm alone!

She pushed at the overlying branches holding her captive, managing only to worsen the pain in her arm. She fought against the need to vomit, finally ceasing her ineffective struggles. She dropped her head back to the wet ground and waited for the nausea to subside. Time seemed to slow as water dripped through the fallen trees leaves onto her face. At some point through her disorientation she thought she could hear voices.

"For gods sake man, hurry!"

Anna recognized Grahams deep voice, harsh with fear. Anna struggled to call Graham's name, to tell her she was all right, but all that emerged was a faint groan. She shouldnt be out here , she thought hysterically.

"Graham," she finally croaked. "be careful!"

"Anna- thank god!" Graham shouted, her voice choked with anxiety. "Are you hurt, love?"

"I dont think so," Anna said as steadily as she could. In truth she was more worried about Graham than she was about her own scrapes and bruises. "Go inside - call someone to help. Please Graham, please dont stay out here- go back to the house! Just do it for me!"

"Damn if I will!! Well have you free in a moment. Just hang on, Anna!" Graham called from somewhere quite close. "Damn it, John, cant you go any faster?" She pulled at the tree limbs in front of her, nearly mad with frustration at her inability to reach Anna. She was impervious to the branches that slashed at her hands and face. God, how she hated her blindness!

"I almost have the limb free, maam, but it would help if youd move back. We dont need both of you under this damn tree."

Graham turned angry eyes toward the man beside her and growled, "Im not moving until you get her out."

A tremendous creak accompanied the shifting of the huge fork of limb that imprisoned Anna, and she cried out as the weight of the tree shifted off her tender body. Suddenly Graham was beside her, reaching a tentative, trembling hand toward her.

"Dont move," Graham whispered softly, "youre safe now. John will have the rest of it off in a minute."

Graham settled on the muddy slope, unmindful of the water or the cold, and very gently lifted Annas head into her lap. Despite her pain, Anna lifted both arms around Grahams neck, pressing her face against her chest.

"Im so glad youre here," Anna whispered, clutching her tightly.

"Ill not leave you," Graham replied, struggling to contain tears. She rocked Anna tenderly as she buried her face in Annas damp hair. "Im here."

Anna scarcely felt any pain as she thrilled to the comfort of Grahams presence. As more of the tree was removed she tried moving her legs. Everything worked but she gasped as a multitude of small cuts began to burn.

"Where are you hurt?" Graham asked when she had control of herself again.

"My shoulder, but I dont think anythings broken." Anna began to realize that both of them were shivering nearly uncontrollably. "Graham," she chattered, "you have to get inside. Let me stand up."

"Wed better wait for the doctor. And Im not leaving you." Graham swore inwardly at her own helplessness, even as she began to believe Anna was safe. For a few agonizing minutes she had feared she had lost her. She heard the tree cracking and Annas cry as it fell. Helen had confirmed her fear that Anna had been trapped under the downed tree, and the panic that followed almost proved to be Grahams undoing. All she could think of was that Anna was gone, a realization so painful she thought she would go mad. It was Helen who had the presence of mind to call both the family doctor as well as an old friend who lived nearby for help. She couldnt stop Graham from rushing headlong down the treacherous path, only to be unable to find Anna in the tangle of branches, flailing with anguished despair at obstacles she couldnt see. Helen feared that Graham would do herself real harm in her rage to find the girl.

Even with Anna in her arms, Graham was afraid to loosen her hold. Her hands ceaselessly roamed over Annas body, seeking reassurance that Anna was safe. She didnt realize that each shaking breath bordered on a sob. She hadnt felt such panic since the night of the car crash, when she drifted in and out of consciousness, calling for Christine, getting no answer. She had lain in the twisted wreckage blinded by the blood in her eyes, trapped by the metal that pierced her leg, wondering frantically if she had killed Christine in her jealous rage. Had that been true, in all likelihood she would have taken her own life. Tonight, for those agonizing minutes before she heard Annas voice, she thought that all that remained to her of life had been taken. Her relief was so enormous, she acted without thinking. She raised Annas head with a hand cupped to her chin, capturing her mouth with a deep groan. Oblivious to all else, Anna returned her kiss with a hunger long denied. She gasped when Graham pulled away with a shaky laugh.

"We cant wait any longer, Anna. Youre hurt and cold. We must get you inside." Raising her head, but maintaining her fierce hold on the woman in her arms, she called out, "John, help me to get her up!"

A tall man pulled the last of the debris free and moved through the darkness to their side. He carefully lifted Anna to her feet. Graham rose unsteadily beside them, her hand clasped in Annas. Together they made their way slowly up to Yardley Manor.

Chapter Sixteen

The doctor spoke to Graham outside Annas room after finishing his examination.

"Shes badly bruised, and I suspect theres a sprain of the left shoulder, but no permanent damage. She needs to be kept warm and to get plenty of rest for the next few days. Shes going to be fine." He observed the strained, pale face of the woman before him and added, "You could use a hot bath and some rest yourself, Ms. Yardley."

"Yes, of course," Graham replied absently, her mind occupied only with her concern for Anna. She turned to push open Annas door and found Helen in her path.

"What is it?" she asked in exasperation. All she wanted was to be alone with Anna. She needed to be certain that she was safe.

"Youre soaked through and shaking. You need a hot bath and youre not going in there until you have one." Helen steeled herself for what she knew was coming. As expected, Grahams well-known temper ignited.

"Please step aside, Helen," Graham ordered, reaching toward the door. "I intend to see her, and I intend to see her now ."

Very quietly, Helen responded, "Sweetheart, your face and hands are scratched and bleeding. Youre going to scare her to death if you dont get cleaned up. Do you want her worrying about you when she should be resting?"

Graham paused, wanting to argue but knowing Helen was right. "All right, a quick one," she relented. "Please tell her I wont be long."

It was in fact only a few moments before she approached Annas door once again, and smelled the aroma of hot tea. She followed the scent into Annas room.

Helen efficiently set up a tray and pulled a chair close to the bedside, carefully directing Graham to it.

"Now, both of you drink some of this tea," she instructed. "Theres biscuits there as well." She poured two cups, guiding Grahams hand to them, and turned to leave. Annas face was white, but the eyes she fixed on Grahams face appeared free of pain. Neither woman noticed as Helen pulled the door gently closed behind her.

"Anna?" Graham asked uncertainly, leaning forward on the edge of the bed, "Are you all right?"

"Im much better now," Anna answered softly. Graham had a welt under her right eye and a scrape on her chin where a tree limb had struck her. Even worse were the many little cuts on her hands. Thank god none of them appeared serious. "You really shouldnt be doing that sort of thing with your hands, you know. Theyre too precious."

"Yes, well so are you," Graham replied in a moment of unguarded honesty. She was still shaken from the accident, and not being able to see Anna, to assure herself she was truly all right, was driving her mad. She attempted to rein in her emotions, teasing lightly, "I promise I wont do it again if you promise to stay away from falling trees."

"On my honor," Anna whispered. Grahams tenderness after their weeks of estrangement, combined with the memory of her kiss moments before, had her emotions in turmoil. She needed Grahams comfort, and here she was, gentle and attentive.

"You should rest now," Graham murmured. She edged closer carefully, finding Annas hand with her own. She traced the fragile network of veins with her sensitive fingertips, allowing her hands to trail slowly up Annas bare arms. Anna lay transfixed, scarcely able to breathe. She had the feeling that Graham was not aware of her actions, and that as soon as Graham realized what she was doing, she would stop. Anna fervently did not want her to stop. Now that Graham had relaxed her rigid vigilance, Anna felt the full power of Grahams emotional intensity for the first time. The possessive look on Grahams face combined with the touch of her hands was melting her with longing. The heat rising in her body overpowered the pain of her bruises.

"I have some pills for the pain," Graham said at length. She held Annas hand against her cheek, her fingers folded about Annas. She was very slowly brushing the backs of Annas fingers against her skin.

"I dont need them," Anna whispered, her throat tight with desire.

Graham brought one hand to Annas face and slowly ran a few strands of her hair through her fingers. It was so soft, silken - mesmerizing in its simple beauty. She wanted nothing more than to sit here like this with Anna safe beside her.

"You should sleep. Ill be here," she murmured.

Anna drew a shuddering breath. Graham was so tender, and her touch was piercing. Anna knew she had never been touched like this before.

"You should go, Graham," Anna said with effort. She couldnt bear the thought of Graham leaving, but Graham had been through as much as she. The hand that held hers trembled. "You look exhausted."

"Not yet," Graham said in a tone that broached no argument.

"Then at least lie down with me," Anna demanded boldly, "or I wont sleep either."

Graham frowned. "You are rather pig-headed yourself," she remarked darkly. No one had ever been able to sway her the way Anna seemed to. Not even Christine with all her wiles had been as hard to resist.

"Im serious, Graham," Anna persisted, detecting a rare moment of weakness in Grahams usually impenetrable defenses. "Either you lie down with me or Ill stay awake, too."

Graham could not bring herself to leave, although she refused to consider why. With a sigh of exasperation she stretched out beside Anna, her back against the broad head-board, one arm around Annas shoulders.

"All right now," Graham insisted, "close your eyes."

Almost instinctively, Anna moved so that she was reclining in Grahams arms, her cheek against Grahams chest. She wrapped her uninjured arm around Grahams waist and closed her eyes. To her amazement, she soon began to drift.

"Dont leave," she murmured groggily. If she hadnt been compromised by physical and emotional stress, she never would have asked.

"I wont," Graham promised, kissing the top of her head. If she hadnt been so recently terrified for Annas life, she never would have stayed.

**********

It was fully dark when Anna opened her eyes. Graham was still beside her, her cheek resting against Annas hair, one hand rhythmically stroking the bare skin of her shoulder. In her sleep Anna had thrown one leg over Grahams, and she lay tightly pressed to her now. Anna knew she was wet, and wondered if Graham could feel it. Anna shifted beneath the light sheet so her breasts rested more fully against Grahams chest. She was rewarded with a swift gasp from Graham.

"Graham," she whispered, raising herself until their lips were nearly touching. She could feel the heat radiate from Graham now, too. Graham was scarcely breathing, straining for control. Anna shifted deliberately until her entire length rested upon Grahams body. Her nipples tensed, and she rubbed them slowly back and forth across Graham's chest. When Anna rocked against Grahams leg, a fine shudder passed through Grahams form. Relentless now with need, Anna slipped one hand along the front of Grahams trousers, trailing her fingers down Graham's thigh.

"Make love to me," Anna whispered in a voice husky with desire. "Please, Graham, please -I need you so much."

"I cant," Graham choked, shaking with the effort to contain her arousal.

Annas hand pressed into Graham's thigh, sliding higher with deliberate strokes.

"Oh god, Annadont," Graham groaned, her hips rising to Anna's touch of their own volition. She was losing focus, the aching in her pelvis traveling in waves into her belly and beyond. "You cant know what youre asking!"

Graham was wet against Anna's palm where she held her, and Anne saw a hunger in Graham's face that was undeniable. She sensed Grahams fear and resistance too, but she was too far gone to care. Anna was completely at the mercy of her own driving need, motivated by an instinct as essential as that to breathe.

"I do know what Im asking," she gasped, " and so do you! Do you want me to beg?"

Graham hesitated still, her head pounding, trying to ignore the building pressure to move against Annas hand. Her body was in mutiny. She was afraid she might come at the slightest touch. "Anna, youre hurt!" she protested weakly.

"All I can feel is how much I need you to touch me. I'm ready to explode - I'm so swollen - oh, god - Graham-- " Anna groaned through a haze of overwhelming need, her body surging against the reed slender woman in her arms. She caught Grahams hand and brought it to the aching fullness of her breast. "Please-"

With that touch Grahams restraint broke at last. She yielded to a tidal wave of lust with a strangled cry. Her hands were upon Anna with a force that took the breath from Annas body. Sweeping like wildfire down the planes of Annas abdomen, along her thighs, ascending just as quickly to stroke her neck and breasts, Grahams touch stirred a searing heat that set Annas nerve ends burning. She felt herself dissolving into molten liquid, her speech reduced to small cries that became incoherent whimpers as her body arched to Graham, desperately offering all of herself. Grahams lips were on her neck, murmuring her name like a benediction. She eased her body over Annas, brushing the covers aside, one hand seeking between Anna's legs. She thrilled to the welcoming warmth, parting the engorged lips, groaning as she slipped into Annas silken depths. She clenched her jaw, willing herself to go slowly, struggling with the shattering urge to claim Anna with all the power of her passion.

"Oh god, Graham," Anna cried out as Graham filled her, willing her deeper, thrusting to contain all of her. Grahams mouth bruised her lips, the fabric of Grahams shirt chaffed her swollen nipples, and the exquisite motion of Grahams fingers within her inflamed her senses.

"Oh, no," she gasped urgently as her hips began to rock involuntarily. Her clit was tingling, jumping with the rhythm of Graham's thrusting fingers. Oh god - not so soon! "Graham wait!" It was already too late. Muscles clenched and tightened, she sobbed as her body, long denied, found release. She clutched Grahams shoulders, strangling on her own throaty cries. Endlessly, her peaked, only to be driven to a higher plateau by the insistent stroking of Grahams finely tuned hands, until she lay exhausted, able only to murmur, "Enough, my darling, Ill die from you."

Graham laughed gently, her fingers quieting, but not withdrawing. She settled Anna firmly against her, breathing into her hair, "Oh no, love, you wont die from this. Never from this."

Through a curtain of languorous fatigue, Anna saw Grahams dark eyes upon her face, tender and deep with passion. To see her so stopped the breath in her throat, she loved her so much. Anna pressed closer to her, whispering, "Just hold me, please."

"Anything," Graham murmured as Anna drifted into sleep.

********** Anna awakened slowly, her body still pulsing with sensation. Graham still held her tightly. She lay with her eyes closed, savoring the sweet satisfaction of Grahams nearness and the lingering aftermath of their lovemaking. She didnt move when she felt a featherlight touch upon her cheek, remaining silent as Grahams fingers traced her face. As gently as butterflies on spring blossoms, Graham stroked her brows, each eyelid, and the line of her lips and nose. With both hands she cupped Annas face, her thumbs brushing across the bones of her cheek to sweep along her jaw and chin. A fingertip pressed against the pulse beating in her neck, then moved to circle the curve of her ear. When at last the gently probing hands quieted on her skin, Anna questioned softly, "Can you see me?"

Graham smiled faintly. "Yes."

"You make me feel beautiful," Anna confessed shyly.

"You are beautiful, Anna." Graham kissed her softly, reverently.

Anna smiled, then stretched indolently, trying to dispel the intoxicating lethargy Grahams touch induced. She shifted on the bed, one hand resting on Grahams abdomen. Muscles fluttered beneath her fingers. Being this close to Graham kept her constantly aroused. It was a new experience, one that left her breathless. Graham, ever sensitive, raised one questioning eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"I want to look at youall of you," Anna replied, tugging at Grahams shirt, brushing her fingers along the taut muscles beneath. She slipped her hand beneath the waistband of the tailored linen trousers, her pulse racing as Graham groaned and shuddered faintly at the touch.

"Let me touch you," Anna whispered against Graham's neck. Anna's need to have this enigmatic woman was as great as her need to be taken by her just a short time ago.

Graham flushed, but sat up slightly and began to unbutton her shirt. She shrugged the soft material from her shoulders and reached for the zipper on her trousers. Annas hand grasped hers as Anna whispered, "Let me."

Graham raised her hips as Anna slid the last of her clothing away.

"God, youre perfect," Anna breathed, gazing at the sweeping planes of Grahams long form. As slowly as she knew how, Anna began to touch her, lingering over each curve and hollow of her body, exploring her with her hands and lips. Anna wanted to make this moment last forever, and even as Grahams breathing quickened, her body undulating under Annas caresses, Anna went slowly. With her mouth she began a slow descent from Grahams neck, teasing each nipple before she traced a path down Grahams quivering abdomen. Graham opened before her, arching gently up to meet her tongue, her breath rasping in her throat. As Annas lips drew on her engorged clitoris, she moaned softly, her fingers entwining in Annas hair. Anna had never known such tender power before. She thrilled to her ability to please this woman who had given her such exquisite pleasure. Her tongue stroked each ripe fold, moving with the surges of Grahams body, matching her rhythm to that of her beloved. She was drunk with the taste of her, drowning in her rich nectar.

Graham groaned, grasped Anna's hands tightly, and arched against her lips. "Ah, Anna - my love," she whispered brokenly, finally giving in to the relentless driving pressure to come.

Anna struggled to hear her through the deafening roar of her own raging lust. She moaned with each quake that rippled through Grahams body, holding fast to the slender hips until Graham quieted. Were it not for Graham calling her name, she would have gladly stayed there, senses overflowing, for time out of mind. Eventually Graham's hands gently drawing her upwards brought her back to herself.

"Come here," Graham whispered, "let me feel you close to me."

Anna moved to lie beside her, her heart contracting at the sight of tears streaking Grahams cheeks. She thought she might come apart. She wanted so much to ease the pain Graham had suffered for so long. Softly she brushed the tears away. Her lips caressed the scar on Grahams brow, lingering over each translucent eyelid. Grahams lips parted in silent pleasure and a long sigh escaped her.

"You make me feel more than I ever imagined possible," Anna murmured against the ivory column of Grahams neck. "Its almost more than my heart can contain."

Graham caressed her gently as Anna slipped once more into satisfied sleep. Graham lay quietly for a long time, trying to absorb every sensation, every sound, every scent that was Anna. She filled her heart, and her mind, and her memory with her. At last she slipped from the bed, leaning down to softly kiss the sleeping woman.

"You are more beautiful than any music I have ever heard," she whispered.

**********

The sun rose over Yardleys grand expanses, but the brilliance of the changing dawn colors was lost on the woman who stood high above the sea. The brisk ocean breeze tossed her hair into her eyes, but she did not lift a hand to shield them. The tears on her face were not from the wind, nor the shivering in her body from the piercing cold. In the long years of her exile, she had never been so alone. Her defenses had been breached, her heart wrent by the gentle touch of a womans lips. She remembered with shattering clarity each sensation - the longing, and the wonder, and the miracle of communion, body and soul. She could not drive the memory of the past from her thoughts - the complete desolation of the spirit she had suffered when Christine left her. She feared that ultimately her need would force Anna to leave her, too. She knew with utter certainty that this would be a pain she could not bear a second time in her life. Despite the years, the wounds still bled, and she could not banish the fear. She had not sought this love, in fact she had hidden herself from the very possibility of it all this time. She cried for what she had done, and what she must do. Finally, she returned to the house to await Annas awakening, and to seal her own fate.

Anna knew instinctively as she reached out that she was alone.

"Graham?" she called.

"Im here, Anna," Graham answered from her place by the window. "How do you feel?

Anna rolled over and pushed herself up in bed. She regarded Graham carefully. She had grown too used to the nuances of Grahams posture and tone of voice not to know when she was distressed.

"Im stiff, and sore just about everywhere, but nothing feels serious," she replied cautiously.

"Good," Graham sighed. She gathered herself for the hardest words she would ever say. "Anna, I must talk to you about last night."

Anna closed her eyes, her stomach tightening. Last night she didnt need to thinkall she knew was the joy of Grahams presence. She didnt need to think now to know she had been more deeply moved by Grahams touch than any other event in her life. She didnt need words to capture the ecstasy of loving this woman. Her skin still tingled from the stroke of Grahams hands, her body stirred with desire at the sight of her. She loved her, more passionately than she would have believed possible. Graham Yardley had claimed her, willingly or notheart, body and soul.

"You dont need to say anything, Graham," Anna replied. "Last night, with you, was more beautiful than anything Ive ever experienced. No one has ever touched me -"

Graham interrupted her harshly. She could not bear to hear these words! "Anna, you were hurt, vulnerableyou needed comforting! II was frightenedI forgot myself. It wasnt meant. Im sorry."

"What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me last night was some kind of mistake ?!" Anna asked incredulously. She stared at Graham uncomprehendingly. "You cant mean that! For Gods sake, Graham-"

"We were both frightened, exhausted - I took advantage," Graham stated flatly.

"Graham! I asked you into my bedIve been wanting, needing you, for so long! God Graham! I love you," Anna cried vehemently.

Graham groaned. "AnnaAnna, you must not!" She drew a deep breath, her face set. "Last night should never have happened. I have no desire for it to be repeated. I do not want that kind of relationship with you."

"And you expect me to simply forget it? What we shared- the way it felt to touch you?" Anna questioned grimly, her hurt and bewilderment giving way to anger. "And what am I supposed to do with my feelings for you, Graham? Am I to ignore them the way you seem to be able to? "

Graham gave no sign that Annas words affected her at all. "There can be no question of anything other than a friendship between us. If Ive misled you, I apologize."

Anna wanted to scream; part of her wanted to beg. How could she be alone in this? She had felt love in Grahams touchshe had heard it as Graham whispered her name! She stared at Graham, a cold hand gripping her heart. "Are you sure?" she asked at last.

"Im quite sure." Her face betrayed not a flicker of emotion.

"Then Ill be leaving Yardley as soon as I can make arrangements," Anna replied hollowly, her mind numb with pain.

Graham clenched her hands, steeling herself against the crushing desolation. "Of course, if you think you must."

Anna watched her cross to the door, knowing this might be the last time she saw her. As Grahams hand touched the knob, Anna said coldly, "Damn you for a coward, Graham Yardley! How can you do this!"

Graham faltered for a second before wordlessly closing the door gently behind her.

**********

"At least tell me whats shes done!" Helen cried frantically as she watched Anna pile boxes into the back of her Jeep.

"She hasnt done anything," Anna replied woodenly. "Shes exactly the same as shes always been - I was the one who made the mistake."

"Let me talk to her," Helen pleaded. "Just tell me what happened!"

Anna stifled a laugh that verged on tears. She felt dangerously out of control. Poor Helen, this is almost as hard on her as it is on me! The only one who seems unaffected is Graham.

"Theres nothing you can do, Helen," she responded when she could find her voice.

Helen stopped her hurried motions with a hand on her arm, forcing Anna to look at her. "Anna," she said quietly, "it will kill her if you leave."

"No, Helen," Anna said as she gently removed her hand and stepped up into the Jeep. "It will kill me."

She did not look back as she drove away from all she loved.

Chapter Seventeen

She woke before the alarm after another restless night. She turned toward the window, seeking a hint of the sun through the glass. Even after all this time she still missed the smell of the ocean. She lay quietly, waiting for the ache in her to lessen. It was there each day when she opened her eyes, arising from some deep wound that would not heal. Pain was her constant companion, a raw burning grief that clouded even the most simple pleasures. She had learned to accept itas she accepted that there was a place in her soul which would remain forever empty. That she loved Graham still, would always love her, was the truth and the agony she lived with.

After the first desolate weeks alone again in Boston, she tried to reclaim her life. She immersed herself in her studies and had only to complete her thesis to have her degree. She had no social life and desired none. There was no question of re-entering the world she had known during her marriagea world now foreign to her. Loving Graham had taught her that she could only have loved with such deep passion and paralyzing desire because Graham was a woman. And she knew without doubt that no other woman could ever eclipse Graham in her heart. She had wanted Graham with a ferocity that still stunned her. She need only to recall some fleeting image, and she would be ambushed by desireher need to touch her, to taste her, to lose herself in her was palpable. Anna welcomed these moments, despite the bitter pain of loss, because it was only their presence that convinced her some part of her still lived. Otherwise, she moved through her days numb and scarcely present. The future stretched before her with no hint of joy.

The alarm sounded, a reminder that each day would come, and that she would somehow survive. As she moved about her small studio apartment gathering her things, she tried to dispel the lingering memories of her past. Woven through the tapestry of loss was a hard bitter thread of anger, anger over the life, and the love, she might have had - things too painful to dwell on now.

She still found it hard to believe the direction her life had taken. She now worked for a landscape design firm, a job that a year ago she would have been overjoyed to have. She did enjoy her work, in fact, it was her salvation, but the pleasure was diminished by the emptiness of the rest of her life. She barely remembered how she had gotten through that initial interview.

Lauren Parker, a nationally renowned landscape architect and one of a very few women to head her own firm, had interviewed her personally. Anna recalled that she had been both direct and personable, questioning Anna thoroughly but in an easy relaxed manner. Apparently she had been impressed by Annas graduate work on historic estate renovations, an area she said her firm was interested in exploring. Although it seemed now to Anna that she had floated through the interview in a daze, she must have made a favorable impression. She had been there six months. She grabbed her briefcase and hurried toward the door. She needed this job, but more importantly, she needed to work. It was the only thing which provided brief respite from her memories.

Anna was sketching in the details of an outdoor theatre when someone tapped on the wall of her work cubicle. She looked up to find Lauren leaning against the partition. It wasnt unusual for Lauren Parker to supervise the work of her staff personally, but she managed to do it in a way that was both non-threatening and non-intrusive. Those who worked for her knew how fortunate they were to have an employer who was talented as well as fair-minded.

Anna smiled a greeting, laying her work aside. "Hi."

"Hi. Hows the prospectus for the Randolph estate?"

Lauren was dressed casually in a navy linen pants suit that accentuated her trim athletic build. She could have been thirty-five, although Anna knew she was at least ten years older. She radiated confidence and vigorous good health. Her blonde hair was stylishly short, and she wore almost no makeup.

"Good, I think. I have some things to run by Don, and then it should be ready for you to look at."

Lauren nodded. "Excellent. Were ahead of schedule, which should appease those elements on Randolphs board of directors who thought the project should go to Tom Langdon across town." Despite her firms national reputation, there were always those who mistrusted the ability of a woman to excel in a mans field. This job was her entree into the realm of historic renovation she had been waiting for.

Lauren hesitated a second, then asked, "How about a working dinner tonight? Id like to hear what youve come up with so far, but Ive got clients scheduled all afternoon. If you dont have other plans? I know its Friday night."

A shadow flickered across Annas face and was quickly gone. "No," she said quietly, "I dont have any plans. Dinner would be fine. Should I meet you somewhere?"

"Why dont we just grab a cab from here?" Lauren hadnt missed the reaction her invitation had provoked. Whatever the memory, it had hurt. She said nothing further, knowing Anna was intensely private.

Anna nodded, "Okay."

Lauren smiled warmly. "GoodIm looking forward to it."

**********

At six oclock Lauren stopped in the corridor beside Annas desk. "Are you ready to finish up? The cab should be downstairs in about fifteen minutes."

Anna smiled up at her, nodding. "Im more than ready. Ill just freshen up and meet you outside."

Lauren held the cab door open while Anna slid in, then instructed the driver, "The Copely Plaza, please," as she settled next to Anna with a sigh. "God, Ive been looking forward to this all day."

"I might be a little under-dressed for the Copely," Anna said, indicating her casual slacks and sweater.

Lauren turned her head to look at Anna. "Nonsense. You look terrific," she said softly. The woman beside her had lost the deep tan that had accentuated her blue eyes and blond hair so strikingly six months before, but she had also lost the haunted look that seemed to shadow her every moment. She smiled occasionally now, a blazing smile that never failed to capture Laurens attention for just long enough to be distracting. Pleasantly distracting.

Anna blushed under Laurens warm, appraising glance. It was nothing like the way men had looked at her, still did in fact. She didnt feel as if she were being assessed like a painting about to be purchased, or a fine wine about to be consumed. Laurens glance was appreciative, and intimate in a respectful way. It was the first time Anna had ever been aware of a woman looking at her in quite that manner. Would Graham have, if she could have seen her? Without warning she remembered the way Graham had stroked her face after they made love, seeing her in the only way she could. Anna recognized the sensuality of Laurens gaze because she had felt it, magnified a thousand times, in Grahams hands on her skin. The image was so painful she closed her eyes with a small gasp.

"What is it?" Lauren asked in concern.

"Just a headache," Anna said with a shaky laugh. "I think I forgot lunch and its catching up with me."

"Well, dinner is on the company," Lauren said, almost as if she didnt own it. "Lets enjoy it!" She doubted the headache story; she had seen the same thing happen to Anna before. Some word or gesture would inexplicably cause her to pale, visibly shaken. Something had hurt her badly, and Lauren guessed that Anna kept the anguish at bay through sheer strength of will. Annas struggle touched some deep cord in Lauren, as she watched the younger woman slowly rise above her pain over the past months. "Come on," she said, touching Annas hand briefly. "Let me buy you a drink."

Anna forced herself to relax, wanting to forget everything for just a little while. She decided to try to enjoy herself, and before she knew it, she was seated with Lauren at a cozy table sipping a very fine wine.

At Laurens suggestion, they got business out of the way while they waited for appetizers, so that by the time their meal came, their conversation was casual. Anna found Lauren an easy companion. Her interests beyond the professional were varied, and she had a way of bringing images to life with her enthusiasm. She was bright, gracious and altogether charming. For the first time in months Anna found she could actually distance herself from the despair that seemed to be the undercurrent of her life. She was grateful for the brief surcease of pain.

"Anna," Lauren said as she reached to fill Annas wine glass, "you have been doing excellent work at the firm, and I consider us lucky to have you. I hope you plan to stay on with us for the long-term. There will be plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Anna stared at her in surprise. She hadnt expected Lauren to notice her work, let alone comment so favorably upon it. She was pleased and said so.

Lauren nodded, her face uncharacteristically subdued. She fidgeted briefly with her straw, then tossed it onto the table with a sigh. "Theres never an easy way to do this, at least none that Ive ever found," she said at length. "But I want you to understand that this has absolutely nothing to do with work, and never will. No matter what you say to me, your position at the firm is based upon your production, and your skill - nothing else."

Anna looked at her quizzically. "I dont have the faintest idea what youre talking about," she said.

Lauren blushed and laughed lightly. "How could you? Im not saying anything!" She leaned forward slightly, her intense grey eyes fixed on Annas. "AnnaI think you are a very attractive woman, and I like you. I would very much like to spend more time with yousocially. Well, romantically actually."

Anna stared at her, at a loss for words. Lauren was highly attractive in many ways - bright, accomplished, physically compelling, and Anna was more comfortable with her than she had been in months. Part of her wanted this woman to make her forget Graham Yardley.

Lauren waited in silence, then asked softly, "Have I misread you? If I have, I apologize."

Anna cleared her throat, then responded, "No, you haventI mean, I am a lesbian."

Lauren added in concern, "I have never asked an employee out before. I meant it, Annadont think for a second that this has any bearing on your position at the firm. Please!"

Anna searched for her voice. "I dontit doesnt feel that way, and neither do you."

She looked at the woman across from her, imagining her touch, her kiss. She had grown to admire and respect Lauren, and after tonight she knew she liked her. She wondered if she could let Lauren make love to her body, if the physical sensation might even be welcome, if it somehow might dull her memory of Graham even briefly. She longed for some relief from the endless torment, but she knew without a shred of doubt she could never give Lauren her heart. That was no longer hers to own, or to give. She was Grahams, in every fiber of her being, and always would be. She looked at Lauren helplessly, " Its not that -its just-, I cant, Lauren, Im sorry"

Lauren thought she detected tears in her eyes. "Hey," she said softly, "its okay. I didnt mean to upset you."

Anna shook her head, brushing impatiently at the moisture on her cheeks. "You haventthis has been the best night Ive spent in months. And if things were different"

Lauren hurried to state, "I dont want to get in the middle of anything if youre already involved with someone. Ive never heard you mention anyone."

"No," Anna answered, the pain in her voice impossible to hide. "Im not involved with anyone."

"But?" Lauren questioned gently.

Annas gaze was wounded. "But there is someone I love, very muchsomeone who apparently doesnt love me. But that doesnt stop the wantingdoes it?"

Lauren looked at her sympathetically. "No, it doesnt. Perhaps time will help. Ive enjoyed our evening together. And Id like to do it again sometime. I appreciate your honesty, Anna, and if the time comes that you might feel differently about seeing me, Ill consider myself lucky. Til thenfriends?"

Anna smiled tremulously. "I could use a friend. Thank you, Lauren."

Chapter Eighteen

As time passed Lauren proved true to her word. On the average of once a week, she invited Anna to the theatre or out for dinner. The only place Anna refused to accompany her was to the symphony. Anna hadnt been able to listen to any kind of music that reminded her of Graham, and the thought of a concert hall brought twisting pain to her depths. In her mind, the concert stage would always belong to Graham; her memory held so many images of her there. Seeing Annas response the first time she asked her, Lauren never asked her again.

Anna enjoyed their time together, coming to value their relationship immensely. She would not speak of her past, and Lauren did not press her. When they parted, Lauren kissed her lightly on the cheek. It didnt escape Annas notice that occasionally Lauren would look at her with a question in her eyes, but Anna never felt pressured to move their relationship onto a more intimate level. Anna hoped that their friendship was as rewarding to Lauren as it had come to be to her.

Early one morning the phone on her desk rang. It was Lauren.

"Can I see you in my office for a minute?"

"Ill be right there," Anna replied, rolling up the plan she had been working on.

When Anna entered, Lauren motioned for Anna to join her at the large drafting table situated before the enormous windows overlooking the Boston Commons. She indicated a layout pinned to the board. She was clearly excited.

"The Randolph renovations have progressed exceptionally well. The article featuring our work in the Times last weekend has really fostered interest in estate reclamation. This area is ripe for it. I think its time to push the promotional we discussed when you first interviewed. Id like to use your work at Yardley as the centerpiece. Its one of the oldest estates on the Cape and will be easily recognized by prospective clients. Since Yardley is so well known to you, and the concept of marketing estate landscape restoration is really yours as well, Id like you to oversee the project. Well need detailed plans, as well as photodocumentation. I want you to put your other projects on hold until this is off the ground."

Anna stood stunned and speechless, while Lauren looked at her expectantly. Of course she should be honored that Lauren would entrust such an important project to her direction, and it was what she had been training to dobut, oh god, not at Yardley! Her composure threatened to give way under a wave of panic.

"I cant," she finally whispered.

Lauren stared at her in astonishment. "What do you mean, you cant? Is it because of your thesis? I thought you had that nearly wrapped up."

"No," Anna forced herself to say calmly. "Ill work on the promotionalanything else you want. Anything. But I cant do the work on Yardley."

"But Anna, I want Yardley as the main work. Thats where I need you!"

Anna passed a trembling hand across her face, trying to gather her wits. Just the mention of Yardley had brought a flood of memories, and such pain she thought she might be ill. God, what would she do if she actually had to see Graham? It was impossible! She couldnt do it!

"Anna, were friends. Tell me what this is all about." Lauren laid her hand gently on Annas arm, her concern genuine. Anna was trembling.

Anna turned to face her, an agony of despair clearly visible. Lauren had never seen such desolation, and her heart surged with compassion.

"Tell me, sweetheart."

"I cant go back to Yardley," Anna said at last, her voice shaking.

"Why not?"

"Graham" Anna began, barely able to say her name. "I cant see her. I cant." She looked at Lauren pleadingly. "Please dont ask me to, Lauren. It would kill me."

Lauren studied her for long moments, the pieces slowly falling into place. She knew that Anna had lived at Yardley but had never given it any thought. Now Annas isolation and depression were more understandable.

"Graham Yardley - the composer," Lauren said softly. "Shes the woman youre in love with, isnt she?"

Anna closed her eyes, trying to stem the tears, failing. "Yes," she choked out, turning from her friend, struggling for control. She felt a tender hand on her shoulder, heard a soft voice murmur her name, and she turned into the arms that waited for her. Lauren held her gently, letting her cry, not trying to tell her it as all right when it so obviously wasnt. At length Anna drew away, fumbling for a tissue, embarrassed.

"Im sorry," she said. "I didnt expect this - if I dont think about her, I seem to be able to manage. You took me by surprise."

Lauren let out a long breath. "Anna, youve always been honest with me and I care about you. I dont want to see you suffer like this any longer, and Ill admit not all of my reasons are selfless ones. I wont pretend that I dont want more from our relationship, but this isnt about that. This is destroying you. You need to give her upyou have the rest of your life, dont allow it to be an empty one. Maybe if you work on the project, it will help you heal."

Anna laughed almost hysterically. "Heal? You cant heal whats already dead, and thats what I am inside, Lauren. Dead. All Im trying to do now is make it from day to day. If I have to see Graham, I wont even be able to do that! Shes not something I can just give up! Shes in every part of me. You cant imagine what being near her is like for me!"

Lauren winced at the truth of Annas words. It wasnt easy to be faced with the extent of Annas passion for another woman, but nevertheless her tone was kind as she offered, "You wont have to see her. She isnt there."

Anna grasped the edge of the table, her head suddenly light. "Oh, dear god, has something happened to her? Is she all right?"

"As far as I know, she is. David Norcross told me that no one had been in residence at Yardley since last fall, but that he would provide us with keys if we needed access." Seeing the look of panic on Annas face, she added gently, "Thats really all I know."

Anna forced down the surge of panic. "I cant make a decision about this now, Lauren. Give me a little timejust a few day, please."

Lauren nodded, reluctantly accepting that Annas heart still belonged completely to Graham Yardley. Despite her own disappointment, as a friend, she would have to let Anna find her own way.

"Ill need your answer by the end of next week ," she conceded.

**********

That night Anna dreamed of Yardley, and of Graham. A storm was coming, like the storm that brought down the sycamore. She was in the garden, the sky darkening around her. Turning to the sea, she saw Graham standing at the edge of the cliff, struggling to stay upright in the gale. She seemed even thinner in the distant gloom, wraithlike, and in danger of being swept from the earth by the force of the snarling winds. Annas cries to her were flung back in her face by the howling blasts. She must reach her!!

"Graham, Im coming," she screamed soundlessly, "Im coming, my darling!!" She fought to move, choking with panic, able only to watch in horror as Graham was flung by the whirlwind into the raging waters.

"No!" she wailed into the night, finally dragging herself to consciousness. She lay gasping, soaked in sweat, her face streaked with tears. The aftermath of her dream left her awash with loss. "Oh God Graham," she whispered into the darkness, "I love you so much."

**********

Anna drove slowly up the drive to Yardley Manor, her heart pounding. Yardley appeared abandoned, dark and foreboding. The shutters were all closed, and windswept debris littered the walks and the wide front porch. She parked her Jeep behind the house by the kitchen and walked down the steep garden path toward the sea. She stopped at the site of the fallen sycamore, thinking of how that accident had finally brought Graham into her arms. Oh, god, she thought she had found heaven. How could she have been so wrong!

She stood for many minutes looking out to the sea, images flashing through her mind like slides on a screen. She recalled how Graham had looked that first day in the library, pale and stern, and so stubborn and proud! She had been drawn to her even then. She remembered the slow building of her love as she had come to know more of the gentle, tortured soul Graham kept hidden within. What finally started tears flowing was the memory of Grahams musicits haunting beauty and the even more beautiful image of Graham playing. As the music cascaded through her mind, so too did the remembrance of their lovemaking. She ached for Grahams touch, and to touch her in return.

Watching the waves crash below, ominous in their fury, she was reminded of the desolation she had felt in her dream. She couldnt continue to live like this. Anna felt a strange steeling of her heart, and a new determination. Replacing the pain that accompanied each breath was a rising anger, and the resolution to put an end to this torment. As she turned and began the long climb back, Anna became aware of another sensations in her heart. She finally recognized that it was hope.

Chapter Nineteen

"Im afraid I simply cannot reveal that information. Im truly sorry."

Anna looked at David Norcross and repeated determinedly, "I must see her. Where has she gone?"

Norcross sighed. "I have strict instructions that no one is to be given that information. If youd like, you can leave a message." His look suggested there was little chance that Graham would return anyones message.

Anna shook her head. "No, I need to talk to her in person."

"If it were a matter of life or death, perhaps."

"Mr. Norcross, it is a matter of life or death. My life and hers." Seeing the surprised look on his face, Anna continued, her eyes locked on his. "I love Graham Yardley. And she loves meI hope. I let her drive me away, but I cant believe thats what she really wants. Please, I must see her. Now, before its too late." Even as she spoke, she struggled with a strange sense of foreboding. She couldnt dispel the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

David Norcross pushed his chair back and went to stand at the windows that rose above Boston Harbor. As his silence grew, Anna remained still, scarcely daring to breathe.

When he spoke at last, it was as if to himself. "I have known Graham Yardley since she was a young girl. Her father was one of my closest friends. Grahams accident nearly killed him, but you must know that," he said, turning to look fully at Anna. "Graham survived, but something vital was lost her joy, her incredible passion, her great talentall gone. We all lost something as a result - and the world lost a great artist."

Anna nodded. "I know thatbut it doesnt have to be that way. Its still part of her, Mr. Norcross - undiminished. Shes been hurt, and shes afraid. I was afraid, and I failed us both. Please help us."

Norcross bent over his desk, wrote quickly on a piece of stationery and handed the slip of paper across the desk to Anna.

"I wish you luck, my dear. For all of our sakes."

**********

"Oh my lord, is it really you?"

Anna swept Helen up into her arms, hugging her fiercely. "Yes, Helen, its really me." She stepped back to gaze at the older woman, instantly struck by the distress and worry in her face. For the first time since Anna had known her, she looked every one of her sixty-five years. Something was wrong. "Is she here, Helen?"

Helen nodded. "Shes out in the gazebo." Helens voice caught on a sob, and she turned away to hide her tears. "I was just taking her tea. Ill ask her if shell see you."

Anna gently restrained her with a hand on her arm. "No you wont. This time it isnt up to her. I intend to talk to her."

"Then youd better prepare yourselfshes ill."

Something in the way Helen looked told more than her words. Icy fear gripped Annas heart. "Tell me."

Helens voice trembled as she recounted the events of the last few terrifying weeks. "She came down with pneumoniasix weeks ago, I think. For some reason the doctors couldnt explain to me, she didnt respond the way they expected to the medicines. They said there was something wrong with her resistancebut"

"What do you think?" Anna asked, her throat painfully tight.

Helen looked at Anna sadly, then replied, "I think she didnt care if she got well. Ive seen Graham through what I thought were the worst times of her life, and Ive never seen her like this."

"Why are you here? Why did you leave Yardley?" Anna asked, fighting her panic, struggling to understand what was happening.

Helen tried not to sound harsh, but her fear outweighed her concern for Annas feelings. "I told you what would happen if you left her! She wouldnt stay there a day after you moved out. Ordered a car, told me to close the house, and left for Philadelphia that night. Shes been alone with her piano day and night, worse than Ive ever seen her. One final work, she said - and shes been at it frantically for months. No wonder the doctors couldnt help! I know whats shes doing! When this is done, she means to leave us!" Helen broke into quiet sobs.

"Oh Jesus," Anna whispered, her eyes closed tightly against the thought. "Why didnt you call me? You must have known I would come!"

"I almost did, especially those few days when she was so ill it looked like we might lose her"

"Oh, god," Anna groaned. Please dont let this be happening !

"But she made me promise that I wouldnt. She didnt want your pity, she said."

"My god, shes a foolbut no more so than I," Anna said harshly. "I called her a coward, but it was I who was the coward. I knew what she had been through. I knew about Christine! Eventually she would have accepted that I loved her, if only I had stayed!"

"It wasnt your love she doubted," Helen corrected gently.

"Then what?" Anna cried in frustration.

"She was afraid of her love for you - afraid it would be too much. She never believed that you would stay."

"And I left her, didnt I?" Anna said bitterly. "This is madness - I have to make her hear me, Helen. I love her so much!"

"Just dont let her send you away," Helen said firmly, beginning to hope for the first time in months. "Shell try to, you know."

Anna shook her head grimly. "I wont leave if theres any part of her that loves me - no matter what she says."

Helen smiled, "Then I neednt worry. Just go to her, my dear girl."

**********

Graham stood at the rear of the open gazebo, her back to the entrance. Anna paused at the threshold, paralyzed with the reality of seeing her again. She appeared even thinner; Anna could see that she had lost weight. Each tendon in the fine hand that rested on the rail stood out in stark contrast to the overlying skin, stretched to near translucency. Even from a distance Anna saw the tremor in the delicate fingers. She wanted so much to hold her, but she held back. They must talk.

"Thank you, Helenjust leave it, please," Graham said in a low voice. After a moment she tilted her head, listening, "Helen?"

"Hello, darling," Anna called softly, her voice catching in her throat.

Graham swayed slightly and the hand that clutched the railing turned white.

"Anna?" she whispered in disbelief. Abruptly she turned, her dark eyes searching for a figure she would never see, "Anna?"

Anna gasped and took an uncertain step forward. Graham looked so ill! Her normally brilliant gaze was clouded with pain. Her face was gaunt and lined with fatigue. But even more frightening than the dark circles smudging her normally clear skin was her obvious physical weakness. She leaned heavily on her walking stick, and without it Anna was sure she would fall.

"Yes, its me," she said, struggling to keep the fear from showing in her voice. "Im sorry its taken me so long to get here."

Graham straightened with difficulty. She would not have Anna here because of her weakness! With a semblance of her previous authority she demanded, "Did Helen send for you?"

"No, darling, she didnt. I came because I couldnt bear being separated from you any longer. Ive missed you so much."

"I dont want your pity, Anna," Graham snapped, her tone harsh. "And I dont want you here because of my needs." Sagging slightly despite her best efforts, she passed a trembling hand across her face. In a strained voice, she pleaded, "I have little left but my pride, Anna. Please leave me that."

Anna crossed the distance between them to grasp Grahams shoulders in her hands. "Not your needs, Graham mine . I need youmore than youll ever know. I need your strength and your passion and your desire. And, oh god, I need your music!" She tightened her hold, fearing that Graham would somehow slip away. "My life is so barren without you! Please wont you let me come home?"

Graham bowed her head, eyes closed. "Anna, I dont know if I can- I dont know if I dare."

This time Anna would not be denied - she would not give up. "What cant you do, darling? Is it that you dont want me?"

Graham couldnt resist a fleeting caress against Annas cheek. She had thought never to feel her again. She had tried so hard to deny what she knew to be true - that she loved her with the last beat of her heart. As her touch lingered, she remembered each moment of their last night together. Her breath caught painfully in her throat. Softly she said, "Yes, I want you -more than life itself."

"Then what?" Anna persisted, catching Grahams fingers, bestowing a fleeting kiss to her palm. "Tell me why you wont let me love you."

Graham drew a shuddering breath, her eyes closed against the pain. "Im afraid that if I do, it will happen again. I am everything Christine accused me of being - possessive, demanding, consuming in my need -Im afraid if I take you into my life, all of my life - Ill drive you away just as I did Christine. It would be worse than death if I lost you then, Anna."

The last words emerged as a strangled whisper, and the anguish in Grahams voice fueled Annas anger. Christine had ruled Grahams life, even in her absence, for far too long! She would not rule her future, nor Annas!

"I am not Christine, Graham! I love you, and I will go on loving you whether you will have me or not. There is nothing you could do, short of not loving me, that would ever make me leave you. I am not afraid of your needs, or your wants, or your passions. I want you! I want to spend my life with youloving you, being loved by you!" She stepped closer until her body pressed lightly against Grahams, forcing her to feel her passion. "Tell me you dont love me, Graham - tell me you dont want me - and Ill go."

"I cant," Graham groaned, trembling at Annas nearness. She hadnt been born strong enough to resist this torture!

"I have made my choice, Graham, and I choose you." Anna kissed her, a kiss too quickly ended. "You have to choose whether or not you want me. But choose for the right reasons! Choose out of lovenot out of fear!"

It was the kiss that undid her. It stirred every emotion she had tried to bury since the day Anna left her. She needed her, she wanted her, and she could not go on without her. She had no choice; Anna offered her life. With a moan deep in her throat, she surrendered. Her lips sought Annas and were answered with an urgency that matched her own. They kissed fervently, their bodies fusing, swaying together as they reaffirmed their possession of one another. Anna felt herself begin to surge out of control, and leaned back unsteadily, her arms locked around Grahams waist, trying to reduce the shaking of her legs. Graham gasped against her neck, groaning in protest at her withdrawal.

"I want you so much," Graham murmured, insistent, one hand sliding under the loose fabric at Annas waist. Her hand moved lower, seeking the hot welcoming wetness.

"Graham, wait!" Anna said with effort. "We cant do this here!"

"I dont intend to let you go," Graham growled, her lips seeking Annas again.

"Does this mean you love me?" Anna teased gently, pressing both hands against Grahams chest, restraining her for a moment.

"Eternally, my love," Graham affirmed, pulling her close. "Eternally."

**********

The room Graham led her to was dimly lit by a fire burning in a huge fireplace. A four posted canopy bed faced the hearth from the opposite side of the room. Two glasses and a chilled bottle of champagne stood on the bedside table. Graham stopped inside the door, suddenly uncertain, her face questioning. Anna smiled softly as her grip on Grahams hand tightened.

"I havent changed my mind. Ill never change my mind about loving you," Anna whispered gently. "Dont make me wait to show you how much I love you, darling. Its been far too long already."

They undressed with urgent hands, caressing each other with the wonder of newly discovered love. It was Anna who drew them to the bed, guiding Graham down, resting upon her gently. She wanted her, the want like a fierce hunger in her soul. She ached with the urgency to touch her. Her body screamed for the release only those exquisite hands could give her. She left a pool of moisture on Graham's leg where it pressed to her. Her clitoris threatened to burst from the blood coursing into it. She resisted her demanding need, aware of Grahams physical fragility. She shook with the effort it required for her to hold back.

Graham pulled her nearer with surprising strength. "I need you, Anna - now," she whispered. "Its all I need. Please."

As gently as she knew how, Anna took her. Her lips caressed the hollow of Graham's neck and the rise of her breast, pausing to suckle a nipple, explore her navel. Her hands stroked firm muscles and trembling limbs, coming to rest gently in the moist warm sanctuary between her thighs. Tenderly she parted the full, silky folds, breathing her scent, stroking the length of her, tonguing softly the quivering clitoris. She was aware only of the heat of Grahams flesh beneath her lips, and the breathtaking wonder of her cries filling the air. After the long months of waiting, Anna didnt think she could ever touch her enough. She was amazed to feel her own body climb nearer and nearer toward orgasm with each thrust of Graham's hips against her face, each contraction of Graham's muscles around her fingers. Anna groaned as the spasms began at the base of her clitoris and traveled down her legs, into her belly , and finally coalesced into one continuous explosion behind her tightly closed eyes. When she came, Graham murmured her name, and Anna knew a joy beyond anything she had ever dreamed.

Long into the night they loved, stopping only to whisper their devotion, seeking and giving the reassurances they needed to heal. As morning broke, Graham pushed herself up on the pile of pillows at the head of the bed, exhausted but content. Anna lay curled around her, her head resting against Grahams shoulder.

"Will you pour us some champagne now, my love?"

Anna kissed her, loath to move away even for an instant. "Of course, darling."

Graham sipped the fine wine and sighed. "Are you sure that this is what you want? For a lifetime? I can be - difficult."

"Graham Yardley! I would not have thought you capable of such understatement!" Anna laughed softly, tenderly caressing Grahams cheek. Serious again, she swept her lips across Grahams. "I want this and much, much more."

Graham raised an eyebrow, her face questioning. "And exactly what are your requirements? Perhaps I should consider them before we proceed any further."

Again she laughed, rejoicing in the return of the light in Grahams eyes. "First of all, I want to see you well again," Anna stated quietly.

Graham looked uncomfortable, turning her face away. "Its nothing that having you here wont cure."

"Tell me about it, Graham. Im with you now. Please let me help," Anna urged, pulling Graham close against her.

"After you left, I couldnt stay at Yardley. Nothing, not even losing my sight, was as devastating as losing you." Grahams voice was low and halting. Just recounting the desolation of those days was agonizing.

"Oh, my darling!" Anna cried, near tears. "Im so sorry! Never, never did I mean to hurt you so!" Had she not come now, had Graham not recovered - "Oh god," she gasped involuntarily.

"Shh, my love. Its over now," Graham soothed, silencing Anna with a kiss. "All that matters is that you are here." She didnt tell Anna of how close she had been to death, and how death had seemed like a welcome friend, offering her surcease from a loneliness she could no longer endure. But though her soul had longed for delivery, her body had rallied, and although weak, she was indeed recovering.

"I will never leave you, Grahamyou have my promise. Please, I want to go home, to Yardley. I want to live with you there, and I want to hear you play for me again. Please take me home!"

"I will my love," Graham murmured, her lips finding Annas, finally daring to hope that love could be hers.

Chapter Twenty

"They look good," Anna called as she pulled the Jeep along side Daphne and her crew. She indicated the new shrubs the women were putting in beside the entrance at Yardley.

Daphne leaned down to the window, smiling at her boss. "Theyre great specimens! We should be done here soon. I thought wed start the plantings on the rear terrace tomorrow. The photographers will be out on Friday to do the front gardens."

Anna raised a shoulder nonchalantly. "Whatever you decide."

Daphne grinned. "The view is better from the terrace, too. If youre watching women!"

Anna caught the mischievous glint in her eye, and replied smartly, "You had better not be talking about Graham! And besides, I thought you were happily married."

Daphne laughed. "Completely domesticated - and even if I werent I know better than to lust after Graham. She doesnt know theres another woman on earth besides you, and youd have my hide just for the thought! I was talking about my new kid, Lorishes got a bad case for Grahams assistant. She seems to find all kinds of excuses to wander by the music room when theyre working."

Anna glanced at her watchit was almost five in the afternoon. "Are Graham and Sheila still at it? They were up most of the night! Graham promised me shed get some rest!!" she finished worriedly. The memory of the long agonizing months alone in Boston still lingered. Grahams recent illness left her terrified that something would take Graham from her.

Daphne saw the fear flicker across Annas face, and remembered how frail Graham had seemed not long ago. She reflected on the change six months had brought. "Anna," she said softly, "Graham looks great. Ive never seen her like she is now. Shes strong and healthy. And the music that comes out of that room! I have to practically drag my crew from the terrace."

Anna forced herself to relax, knowing what Daphne said was true. "Its helped Graham to have Sheila hereshes transcribing Grahams new work and cataloging her unpublished pieces. Its just that the two of them can get lost when theyre working. Sheilas almost as bad as Graham!"

"Shes writing her graduate thesis on Grahams compositions, right?"

"Yesactually, shes a student-in-residence with Graham for the rest of the year." Anna could scarcely believe it when Graham had asked her to contact the graduate student who had written so many times requesting an interview. Sheila had been with them for two months and had quickly become devoted to Graham. Her assistance was invaluable to Graham, and it soon became apparent that she had an innate sense of Grahams other needs as well. She dealt with Grahams blindness in an understated way that did not impinge on Grahams need for independence. Anna trusted her with her most valuable possession - her lovers well-being.

"Well a year ought to give Lori enough time to win her heart"

Anna laughed. "You have a one-track mind."

"Oh, and you dont?" Daphne rejoined.

Anna blushed, recalling the urge she had had on the drive home to feel Grahams hands on her body. Even now she couldnt believe the turn her life had taken. She hadnt imagined she could be this happy. She put the Jeep in gear and pulled away smiling.

**********

She tapped lightly at the door to the music roomit stood open and as she listened, she knew it was Graham playing without looking. Graham said that Sheila was a very gifted musician, but Anna never confused the two. When Graham played, the combination of grace and power was unmistakableit was her signature, a complete reflection of her self. Anna knew the cadence and the rhythm of her music with the same certainty as she knew the sound of her voice, or her caress.

She entered and watched from across the room. Graham was in motion, the notes flowing from her hands, her essence transformed into sound. It still took Annas breath away and often kindled desire so intense that she shook.

She cleared her throat as the refrain ended and called, "Hey, you twoare you ready to take a break any time soon?"

Graham swiveled toward her, smiling a greeting. "Youre home early, arent you, love?" She looked fresh and energized, a sure sign that her work was going well. She clearly had no idea of the time, and Anna was willing to bet they hadnt stopped for lunch. Anna cast a stern glance at Sheila, who shrugged her shoulders sheepishly as she escaped toward the door.

"Youre both impossible," Anna muttered. She crossed the room to Graham, draping her arms around her from behind, breathing a kiss into her hair. Graham reached up to cover Annas hands where they lay on her chest. She turned Annas palm up, pressing her lips to the soft skin before resting her cheek in the curve of Annas hand. She sighed contentedly.

"Im glad youre home," she murmured.

"Are you all right?" Anna whispered, tightening her hold on the woman who meant more to her than her very life.

"Fine," Graham replied. "But I have news."

"What?"

Graham hesitated, her fingers caressing Annas, the expression on her face contemplative. "I have agreed to give a performance for the symphony in July."

Anna gasped. "Oh darling, thats wonderful!" It was more than she had ever imagined possible.

"You dont mind?" Graham asked in a subdued tone. "It wont be a problem?"

Anna slid onto the piano bench beside Graham, slipping an arm about her waist. "What makes you think I would mind?" she asked quietly.

"It will mean Ill be working moreand when Im preparing for a performance, I tend to get absorbed."

Anna thought she understood what Graham wasnt saying. "And you think Ill come to resent that?"

"Perhaps."

"Graham," Anna began carefully, "I know what youre like when you work, and sometimes I do worrybut not about us,- about you. You forget to eat, you forget to sleep, you lose weight you dont have to spare. I have never felt, not once, that I didnt matter to youor that you had stopped loving me, even for a moment."

"I couldnt stop loving you, not and still draw a breath," Graham whispered, her fingers tightening their grip on Annas. "You are my light, and my heart. You are the reason there is music in my soul."

"As long as that is true, well be fine," Anna assured her. "But you must promise me that you will take care of yourself. I need you so much, Graham. Without youtheres no point"

Graham stilled her words with a kiss. "I promise, my love."

There was something else. Anna could sense it in the tension of Grahams body, the quiet tone of her voice. Something worried her lover still.

"Now tell me the rest," she ordered gently, fitting herself closer against Grahams side.

"If I perform," Graham began uncertainly, then finished firmly, "Ive been here before, Anna. Theres no point pretending it wont create an uproar. Once I make an appearance, the demands for my time will intensify. There will be pressure for me to tour."

Anna took her time, thinking of the ramifications of Grahams words. She welcomed the changes in Graham over the last months. Graham was suffused with energy, her creative powers seemingly unleashed by the security of Annas presence. She was vital, dynamic, almost intoxicating in her passionate embrace of life. Her ardor for Anna, her muse, was boundless. Anna hadnt imagined she could be this happy. Now she was faced with the reality of Grahams true stature in the world. She was a peerless artist, one whom the world would not let go lightly yet again. If she returned to the concert stage, she would be resuming the life she had led before Anna. What Anna said now would determine the course of both their lives. Graham took her silence to mean Anna was opposed to the idea.

"Its no matter," Graham said decisively. "Ill simply tell them no."

"You cant do that, Graham. And I wouldnt ask you to," Anna began quietly. "I love you - and I have always known who you are - what you are. You dont belong just to me-"

"I do belong just to you," Graham interrupted fiercely.

Anna laughed gently, resting her hand possessively on Grahams thigh. "I know that , my darling. I was speaking of your music. I wouldnt keep you from it, and you cant keep it from the world - youll have to tour, Graham."

Graham stood, pacing by the piano, formulating plans. Anna realized that other than her blindness, Graham was very nearly the woman she had been before her accident. When she stepped onto the stage, her return would be complete. She was about to reclaim the world she once ruled, and Anna could see that it was destined. Graham was transformed before her eyes into the impresario she had only glimpsed in faded newspaper clippings. It was breathtaking, and a little terrifying.

Graham ran a hand through her hair, thinking aloud. "Sheila would almost certainly want to come. That would be a great help. I can limit foreign travel- but its still going to be unbearable being apart from you -"

Anna rose, stilling Grahams restless motion with a hand on her arm. She grasped her about the waist, holding her firmly. "You cant think Id let you go without me? Not only would I go mad with worry, I have no intention of leaving you unattended with all those glamorous society women! You seem to have no idea of the effect you have on women, but I certainly do! "

Graham looked at her in confusion. "You cant think I could ever want anyone but you? Dont you know you are my life?"

"Im not taking any chances," Anna uttered as she kissed her swiftly.

"But your job?"

"Ill try to work something out with Lauren when the time comes - maybe I can freelance for her. Work part time - I dont know. I dont care. Where you need to be is where Ill be. Youre what I need."

Graham pulled her near, admitting in a low voice, "Im not worried about the music - thats never been the hard part. But the people - the promoters, the agents, the press - they want so much from me. Its hard to keep from being consumed. Im not sure I could do it again- especially now, when I cant see."

It was so unlike Graham to voice any concern, particularly regarding her blindness, Anna was instantly protective. She tightened her hold, her voice unflinching. "You wont have to worry; youre not alone any more."

The tension finally eased from Grahams body as she gentled under Annas caresses. She kissed Anna lingeringly, before murmuring quietly, "Thank you for my life, Anna."

Anna grasped the slender fingers that made magic the entire world laid claim to. She drew them to her breast, where they played only for her. "Thank me upstairs," she whispered urgently.

Graham lowered her lips to Annas ear as she stroked her tauntingly. "A command performance - my favorite thing."

"It had better be," Anna gasped. "And I cant wait any longer for you to begin."

Grahams laughter echoed through the halls as she led her love to their bed.

Chapter Twentyone

"What time will the car be here, dear?" Helen asked anxiously for the third time since Anna had arrived home early from work.

"Five-thirty." Anna replied with a smile.

"My goodness, its one oclock! Id better get ready!"

"You have plenty of timeyoull end up waiting," Anna suggested as if it would make a difference.

"Ive been waiting nearly fifteen years for thisa few hours is nothing! I still think we should take the Bentley. Graham always went to a performance in the Bentley!"

"I know, Helen," Anna said patiently. "But Graham wanted it this way."

"Well, I guess it will be all right then," Helen relented. Then she continued with concern, "You did interview the chauffeur?"

Anna laughed. "I did, and its a woman. She understands exactly what we need. It will be perfect."

"And you double checked that the invitations went out for the reception? I could have done that, you know. I always did that before."

"I know," Anna replied gently, "and I would have been lost without your help this time. I know they arrived, because Lauren got hers. It was more important that you look after Graham." Anna was nearly as anxious as Helen, and she desperately needed to see Graham. "Now, where is she?"

"Shes upstairs in the master suite. Max brought your gown and her suit. I had them sent up."

"Good. How does she seem?"

"Calm. She slept late, she didnt even practice. She rarely did the day of a performance. The barber has come and gone. Oh, I do hope it goes well! This is so important to her!"

"Helen," Anna reminded her with conviction, "this is what Graham was born for. Dont worry, shell be magnificent."

"You believe that, dont you?"

"Absolutely. I know it."

"I give thanks every day that you came to us," Helen whispered, tears in her eyes.

Anna hugged her. "No more than I."

**********

She entered their bedroom to find her lover reclining in one of the chairs before the open window. She was in a black silk dressing jacket, looking impossibly relaxed. And impossibly beautiful. In repose, her features always reminded Anna of a classical sculpturecool, remote, elegantly refined. It was the same handsome face that looked back at her from the posters all over the city announcing Grahams concert that night. Anna admired her from a distance before Grahams expression softened with recognition at the sound of her step on the parquet floor.

"Hello, my love," Graham called softly.

"Hello, darling. What were you just thinking of?"

Graham looked surprised. "The music."

Anna settled onto the arm of Grahams chair, resting her fingers in the thick hair at the base of Grahams neck. She leaned to give her a swift kiss. "I should have guessed."

"Why?" Graham asked, pulling Anna down into her lap.

"Because you looked like you were lost somewhere, somewhere no one can follow."

"Does that bother you?" Graham murmured as her lips sought the sensitive spot beneath Annas ear.

"It might," Anna breathed as she turned her lips to Grahams. The kiss deepened, and soon they were both gasping. Annas head felt light and her body burned. "If I couldnt call you back to me," she said, her voice husky with desire.

Graham got to her feet, pulling Anna up into her arms. "You can always call me back," she whispered against the warm skin of Annas neck. "Because I am yours." With one hand she held Anna close, with the other she parted the front of Annas blouse, slipping her hand inside to cup her breast.

Anna groaned, feeling the length of Grahams naked thigh pressing against her. "Graham, stopwe cantyou need to get ready." She gasped as Grahams hand dropped lower, finding her rising heat. "Oh no - thats not fair! You make me want you so much!"

Graham laughed, pulling Anna toward the bed. "Dont you know Ive been waiting all morning for this? You are the only thing I need right now.

**********

"Is that some sort of pre-performance ritual?" Anna asked as she toweled off from the shower. Grahams lovemaking was always a reflection of her emotional state, and this time she had been explosively intense, consuming in her hunger.

Graham grinned. "Now theres an idea. It certainly could be arranged."

"It did wonders for my nerves," Anna said with a smile. "How are yours?"

Graham held out a perfectly steady hand as her grin deepened. "Where are the studs for my shirt?"

"On your dresserjust to the right of your brushes."

Anna watched the graceful fingers expertly fit the small mother-of-pearl studs through the holes in the starched formal shirtthe same fingers that just an hour ago had claimed her, relentlessly, until they had drawn the last trembling shudders from her body.

"Youre watching me," Graham remarked, reaching for the white silk tie. She turned the length of it in her fingers, orienting it so she could tie it.

Anna laughed softly, drawing the delicate fabric into her hands, reaching up to fit it around her lover's neck.

"Was I doing that wrong?" Graham asked, her face puzzled.

"You never do anything wrong," Anna admonished gently. "Im doing it because it pleases me to do it." She finished the knot and brushed a kiss across Grahams lips. "I love youand Im so proud of you."

Graham returned the kiss, her expression serious. "I love youwith all my heart. Now, tell me about your dress. I want to have a picture of you in my mind tonight."

Anna stepped away, lifting the flowing fabric from the hanger, settling it over her body. "Why dont you come see for yourself," she teased.

A faint smile flickered at the corner of Grahams fine mouth. No one in her life could command her the way Anna did.

"All right."

She crossed to Anna, who stood still as Graham gently traced the material that fell from her shoulders, following the lines along her bodice and down to her waist. Her exploring touch rekindled the fire in Annas body, and Anna battled the urge to draw those gently stroking fingers to her again. They absolutely did not have time for this now!

"And the color?" Graham murmured huskily, her hands resting on Annas hips.

"Midnighton a clear night in October," Anna managed, sliding her arms around Grahams neck.

Graham nodded, holding her close. "Beautiful."

Anna touched a finger to her own lips, then to Grahams. "Thank you.

*********

They rode in silence to the symphony hall. Annas hand rested gently in Grahams. Grahams hand was warm and steady. As they slowed to glide up to the curb, Anna glanced out the window.

"Tell me," Graham said calmly.

"There are a lot of peoplequite a number of photographers. The sidewalk is roped off, though."

"How far?" came the quiet question.

"The same distance as from our front door to your music room. Four steps upthen five steps to the door. Sheila is waiting back stage in your dressing room."

Graham didnt ask how Anna knew the precise distance Graham would have to travel in front of a curious crowd, a walk she had taken so many times before, but never in darkness. Anna didnt tell her she had been there the day before just to be certain. Anna couldnt even begin to imagine how difficult this first public appearance since the accident must be for Graham. She wanted to make it as easy as she could for her. She squeezed Grahams hand reassuringly.

"Thank you," Graham said softly, knowing instinctively what Anna had done.

"You can do this easily by yourself, Graham."

"Yes," Graham said as she pushed the limo door open, stepping out to a barrage of camera flashes and a cacophony of voices calling to her"Ms. Yardley! Meistrin! Over here!"

Oblivious to the demands of the crowd, she reached down and handed Anna from the car, tucking Annas hand firmly into the curve of her arm. "But I dont have to do it alone any longer, do I?" she whispered to Anna as they turned and began the walk Graham was born to make.

*********

The concert hall was filled to capacity. The news of Grahams return to the concert stage had created a stir in the music world, and her performance was eagerly awaited. Anna sat with Helen, trying to quell her nerves. They were in the VIP box to the left of the stage, seats that were situated so one could watch the pianists hands on the keyboard. Shortly after they were seated a young usher approached, a bouquet of long-stemmed white roses in his arms. He stopped before Anna, saying, "For you, madam."

Anna cradled the flowers, opening the card with trembling hands. In Grahams bold hand the message read, "You are my strength and my inspiration. You are my heart. All the music is for you. Yours eternally, Graham."

"Oh, Graham," she murmured, tears suddenly wetting her cheeks.

"Are you all right, dear?" Helen asked in concern.

Anna took her hand, squeezing it gently while she tried to contain her tears. "When I think that I could have lost her - that we all might have lost her. Oh, Helen!"

Helen patted her hand reassuringly. "You neednt worry, Anna. Shes stronger for having you than ever she was before the accident."

The house lights dimmed and suddenly Graham was on stage - tall, elegant, perfectly composed. She bowed once in acknowledgement to the orchestra and the audience, then settled herself before the piano as if she had never been away.

Anna watched the slender form bend to the strains of the music that filled the hall; a refrain that carried all the beauty and tender passion of Grahams heart to those who listened. At last she witnessed what she had only imagined from faded images in a dusty scrapbook. Alone in the muted spotlight, center stage, the impresario gifted them with her genius. The audience was on its feet just as the last notes faded away, strewing the stage with flowers, welcoming Graham home. Graham stood to acknowledge the applause, turning toward the seats where she knew Anna sat. She bowed first to her, one hand to her heart, offering her thanks. Through her tears, Anna looked into the dark eyes that she knew could see into her very soul.

When finally the ovation began to abate, Graham left the stage, and found herself immediately surrounded by people requesting a statement or an interview. A hand unobtrusively took her elbow, steadying her in the jostling crowd.

"Lets get back to your dressing room," Sheila suggested. She had been waiting offstage at Annas request. They both knew what would happen the moment Graham appeared in the wings. There would be no way for her to orient herself there, especially when she would be exhausted from the rigors of her performance.

"Where is Anna?" Graham asked immediately, grateful for Sheilas presence in the demanding press of people.

"Shes coming," Sheila replied grimly as she shouldered a path through a throng of reporters and fans. The crowd was at a fever pitch of excitement, everyone wanting to get to Graham, pushing forward despite the security peoples best efforts. It was worse than Sheila expected, and she was beginning to fear for Grahams safety.

Suddenly the hallway in front of them began to clear as Annas vehement voice rang out, "You will all have a chance to speak with her at the reception - and not until then! Now if youll just give us a moment alone, please."

And then she was there. " Thank you, Sheila," Anna said quietly as she stepped up to Graham, not caring that dozens of people surrounded them. She reached for Grahams hand and brought it gently to her lips. "Hello darling."

Graham lifted her free hand to Annas cheek. It was still moist with tears. "Hello my love." She drew Anna gently near and rested her forehead against Annas hair. She closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Were you pleased?" Graham asked at last.

"Much more than pleased," Anna answered. "The only thing in this world I love more than your music is you." She stepped back with effort, for all she wanted to do was hold onto her. Grahams jacket and shirt were soaked with sweat, and for the first time all day, her hands trembled. Anna slipped an arm about her waist.

"Lets get you out of here," Anna said, looking over her shoulder at the amazingly quiet group in the corridor. "Sheila, tell them ten minutes please."

When the door finally closed behind them, Anna drew off Grahams coat and loosened her tie.

"You neednt do that, Anna," Graham protested when Anna began pulling the studs from her shirt.

"Graham, hush," Anna said in exasperation. "Ill give you up to the demands of your music when I must, but not for one minute longer. You need a dry shirt and jacket if youre going to the reception." She brushed the damp hair back from Grahams face with concern. "Are you up to it? Because Ill just tell them all to be damned if youre too tired."

Graham grasped her hands. "Im fine. And I would appreciate a dry shirt very much."

"Thank you for the flowers," Anna said softly as she fitted the diamond cufflinks into Grahams sleeves. "You make me feel so loved."

"I couldnt do this - any of this, without you," Graham murmured, exhausted from her performance. "Ill never be able to tell you how much I love you-"

"You dont have to tell me," Anna whispered, "I can see it in your face, and in the way you touch me, and in the music that you write." She paused her ministrations to slide her fingers into Grahams hair, pulling her head down for a kiss. After a moment she said gently, "Now stand still so I can fix this tie."

As Anna straightened her tie, Graham asked quietly, "Will you be all right in there? There are likely to be questions - about us. There was always speculation about Christine."

"If they dont know after my little scene in the hall, they never will," Anna laughed tightly. She hated to be reminded that once Christine had shared moments like these with Graham. She still grew angry whenever she remembered the kiss she had witnessed in the library. "And I couldnt give a damn about their questions. There - now you are your handsome self. Lets go finish your duties so I can take you home."

*********

Lauren maneuvered through the crush of people toward Anna. She had been trying unsuccessfully to catch Annas attention since she entered with Graham. Lauren soon realized that would be impossible. Even though Anna was separated from Graham by a roomful of people, she managed to carry on polite conversation while never taking her eyes off her tall lover. Lauren knew how frightened Anna had been by Grahams recent illness, and she doubted that anything would distract her from her ever vigilant watch over her now. The instant Graham arrived, she was surrounded and swept away by luminaries from the music community and the ever-present press. In a throng like this she was quite helpless to fend off anyone who wanted her attention. Graham looked calm and remotely detached, but Lauren could imagine the effort it required for her to satisfy the escalating demands of those gathered about her. And she was quite sure that Anna had no intention of allowing Graham to be inundated like this for long.

"Thanks for the invitation to the reception," Lauren managed when at last she reached Annas side. She slipped her arm around the pretty red-head at her side. "Anna, this is Lisa McCleary. Lisa is a music instructor at UMass, as well as - well, my -"

"Girlfriend," Lisa finished for her with a kilowatt smile.

Anna smiled with true pleasure, offering her hand. "It sounds trite to say Ive heard a lot about you, but Im glad to have finally met you."

"And I you," Lisa responded. "I guess I dont need to tell you how exciting this is, to have Graham Yardley performing again. Shes wonderful!"

"Isnt she," Anna responded, her eyes returning to where Graham stood. At that moment she was in deep conversation with the governor, who appeared to be as enchanted with her as everyone else in the room. "Even I can say that without prejudice," she laughed softly. "Im so glad you both could come. Lauren has had to excuse my distractibility a good deal lately. Ive been more anxious than Graham!"

"It sounds like you didnt need to be! From what Im hearing around the room, shes even better than before! I dont know how thats possible, but Ive never heard anyone like her."

"Yes," Anna said simply. "And I think shes probably worked enough for one night. Will you excuse me while I attempt a rescue?"

Before she could move away, a reporter blocked her path. "Ms. Reid, is it true that you are Graham Yardleys lover?" he asked bluntly.

Anna appraised him coolly, leaning forward slightly to read the name on the press card pinned to his lapel. "Mr. Phillips," she replied calmly, "Graham Yardley is inarguably one of the greatest artists of this century. I would think that fact alone would offer much more of interest to your readers than speculation about her personal life."

"Am I to take it then that you deny any intimate relationship with her?" he persisted, a smug grin on his face.

"There is nothing about my relationship with Graham I would deny," Anna answered firmly, "least of all my love."

"And is it also true that Christine Hunt-Blair was once her lover as well?"

Anna fixed him with a steely stare. "You would have to ask Mrs. Hunt-Blair about their past relationship." She pointedly turned her back, determined not to reveal her wrath at the mention of Christine. Would she never be done hearing of her?!

As Anna made her way slowly across the large room, Graham was approached by yet another admirer. From where she was, Anna could only watch, anger combining with an unexpected surge of possessiveness.

"Hello, darling," a sultry voice beside Graham murmured as a hand trailed down her arm in a flagrant caress.

Graham turned to the woman beside her, lifting the hand from her sleeve with a slight bow. "Hello, Christine," Graham said neutrally.

"You were magnificent, as usual!" Christine purred, stepping close enough for Graham to catch the scent of her perfume. Her breasts lightly grazed Grahams chest.

"Thank you," Graham replied, raising her head, casting a glance about the room. Her eyes fell so unerringly on her lover in the midst of the crowd, anyone looking at her would have sworn that she could see. Graham relaxed perceptibly when she sensed an answering gaze upon her face.

"Why so formal, darling," Christine admonished, taking advantage of the crush of people to move closer still. She toyed with a stud on the front of Grahams shirt. "As I recall, you used to rather like my presence after a performance. As a matter of fact you were quite demanding about your requirements . I remember you could barely wait to get me alone. Not that I minded of course. You were always at your best after a concert." As she spoke, she curled her fingers ever so slightly under the waistband of Grahams trousers.

"That was a long time ago," Anna said succinctly as she stepped to Grahams side, taking Grahams hand in hers, forcing Christine back a step. Graham laced her fingers gently through Annas.

"Things are very different for Graham now," Anna continued, furious at Christines suggestive remarks, but struggling for calm. This was no place for a scene, as dearly as she would like to make it clear that Christine had no rights to Graham any longer.

"But some things never change, do they Graham?" Christine questioned softly, her eyes on Grahams face, ignoring Anna entirely. Necessity had made her bold. If she were to reclaim Graham, it would have to be here, now, on the stage she had always shared with Graham. "Dont tell me youve forgotten what it was like, darling -adored by everyone,- the celebrity, the excitement, the lovemaking - dont expect me to believe youve forgotten that ! I havent forgotten, I could never forget! We could have it all again, Graham - just as it was, the two of us. You could have everything you ever wanted."

Graham tightened her hold on Anna, drawing her close against her side. "I already have everything I want - more than I ever dreamed possible. More than I deserve. What we had is over Christine. I have everything I need right here. Now, if youll excuse us, Id like Anna to take me home."

"I had the limo brought around back," Anna said as Christine stared after them in shock. "Just turn around and we can sneak out."

When they were settled at last in the expansive rear seat of the stretch limo, Helen happily directing the chauffeur from her seat up front beyond the smoked-glass partition, Graham spoke quietly. "Im terribly sorry about Christine. I had no idea she would be there."

"I doubt theres any event where Christine Hunt-Blair is not invited," Anna said acerbically, reminding herself of her resolution to remain calm. She failed. "God, I hate the way she touches you! She acts like she owns you!"

"Well, she doesnt. And she hasnt for a long time," Graham responded gently.

"Well I wish someone would tell her that!!" Anna railed.

Graham raised an eyebrow. "I thought I just did," she said dryly.

Anna stared at her imperious lover, struggling to hold onto her anger. Helplessly, she laughed, moving closer to drape an arm around Grahams body. "Yes, you did."

In a calmer light she knew she would only pity Christine and her desperate attempt to renew her affair with Graham, but at the moment she was still stinging from the sight of Christine openly caressing her lover! She was a good deal less than rational where Graham was concerned, and not above making her claim very clear. She slipped a hand along the inside of Grahams thigh, smiling as Graham gasped at the light caress. "Was she serious about the effect a performance has on you?" she asked innocently, very aware of the tension in Grahams body.

"Yes," Graham said tightly as Annas hand strayed higher. It would be useless to deny it, Anna could read her responses too well. She pressed back against the seat, torn between wanting Annas touch to continue and trying to save some semblance of control.

"Now thats something you might have mentioned," Anna remarked as her fingers pressed a particularly sensitive spot, rubbing the faint prominence through the fabric. Her pulse hammered as she felt Graham shudder.

"Anna," Graham warned unconvincingly, struggling to maintain her composure. They were in a limousine, for Gods sake!

"Definitely an unexpected benefit," Anna mused as if Graham hadnt spoken. She tormented her by touching her with no particular rhythm, moving away when she felt Grahams breath quicken. She wanted to be sure she had Grahams full attention.

"Why didnt you tell me?" Anna inquired as if asking the time, returning to the spot that caused Graham to quiver.

Graham groaned softly. "It wasnt foremost in my mind," she managed to gasp, completely under Annas spell. She reached for Annas hand, holding it to her, urging her to continue. "Ahh - god -"

"Is it now?" Anna questioned, increasing the pressure of her hand slightly. Graham moaned, a low strangled plea. Anna knew just how close Graham was to coming - she knew, and she pushed a little harder, grasping her between her fingers.

Graham shivered involuntarily, trembling in Annas embrace. "Yes," she whispered, "please dont stop."

"Oh, I dont intend to stop," Anna breathed into her ear, easing her fingers away slightly, "not ever. But since Im conducting this particular piece, youll have to wait until we get home for the finale."

"Ah Jesus," Graham rasped, her voice catching. "Is that a promise? Because youre killing me."

Anna held Graham fiercely, her lips urgent against her skin. "As I am yours, so are you mine. Thats a pledge, and a promise, my darling."

The End

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