Lucky Charm

CHAPTER NINETEEN

DEREK NEEDED A CHANGE of scenery, so he drove to New York to pick up Holly instead of meeting Marlene and John halfway. The newlyweds had bought a house a half hour outside of the city, in a place called Larchmont. Holly wanted Derek to see where she’d be living in a few weeks, so he agreed to pick her up there. His daughter was actually looking forward to living in a house instead of an apartment and starting a new school. Derek was sure her nerves would kick in closer to the first day, but for now when he spoke to her on the phone, Holly seemed like her easygoing self.

He rang the doorbell of the colonial-style house and was greeted by Holly, who’d come to a skidding halt in her socks as she opened the front door.

“Hey, kiddo!” He greeted her with a wave.

She hugged him tight. “Dad! Come check out my new room. It’s so much bigger than my room in the city. And Mom even said I can use the sheets and comforter you got for me.”

“She did?” he asked, unable to contain his surprise.

“I did.” Marlene came up behind Holly. “Honey, why don’t you go get your bags packed to go to your dad’s?”

“I’m packed.”

“Then double-check you didn’t forget anything,” Marlene said pointedly.

Holly rolled her eyes. “The grown-ups want to talk,” she said, stomping back toward the stairs with added force on each step.

Marlene shook her head and laughed. “I swear, sometimes I think I’m already living with a hormonal teenager.”

“Soon enough,” he said, shuddering at the thought.

“Come on in,” she said, holding the door open. “I thought we could talk.”

He followed her into the house, which was still empty of furniture. “We’re having the place painted next week,” she said.

“It’s a beautiful house. Great place for Holly to grow up.”

Marlene nodded. “John wanted to be here to say hello, but I explained to him that we needed to talk alone.”

“Okay,” Derek said warily.

She led him into the kitchen where a bridge table and chairs had been set up. “Have a seat. It’s the best I can offer,” she said, waving at the folding chairs.

Since she wanted to talk, he remained silent until she broached whatever she needed to say. He wasn’t about to give her an opening, or heaven forbid, more ammunition to use against him. Although he had to admit that ever since he’d called to confirm this weekend, she’d been more than accommodating with him. But that was Marlene, at least where he was concerned. He never knew what to expect.

“I told John what went on when I picked up Holly from you last week.”

Derek inclined his head. “I’m not sure exactly which thing you’re referring to.”

Marlene’s cheeks flushed pink. “Well, he wasn’t thrilled that I picked Holly up a day early,” she said without meeting his gaze. “John didn’t think that was fair to you. Especially with us coming home early. And then, when I told him I’d threatened to sue you for full custody and accused you of putting Gabrielle before Holly…” She twisted her hands together nervously. “John was furious,” she said, the admission obviously not an easy one for her to make.

Derek leaned forward in his seat. “Why was John upset with you?”

She laughed nervously. “He just knows me so well. And I’d promised him and myself I’d stop using Holly as a weapon against you. As you said, we’d gotten past a lot of old baggage. But last week…John accused me of being spiteful and jealous of Gabrielle. He said if knowing you were with Gabrielle bothered me, then obviously you and I have unresolved issues,” she said, gesturing between them.

Derek cocked his head to one side. “And you agree with him?”

“Yes, I do.” She let out a sigh. “This isn’t easy for me. Meeting her wasn’t easy for me. She’s always been between us, you know.”

He shook his head, denying it. “I never wanted you to feel that way.”

She shrugged. “In the beginning, I had no idea, but after my first trip to Stewart with you, I learned more about her than I ever wanted to know. It put her between us. And the harder you worked and the less time you spent at home, I felt sure it was because you wished you’d never gotten me pregnant. Never had to marry me. I always thought you wished I was Gabrielle,” Marlene admitted.

Derek was stunned. In all their years together, they’d never talked about Gabrielle. They’d never talked like this.

He met Marlene’s gaze. “I’m sorry. That was never my intention. If I could have been with Gabrielle, I would have been. I chose to marry you.”

She waved her hand through the air. “That’s all old news. But she’s in your life now and I have to come to terms with it. Just like you’ve had to come to terms with John in mine and in Holly’s.”

Derek shook his head. “She’s not in my life. I was giving her a place to stay while she was in trouble and making sure she was safe, but we’re not…We aren’t together anymore.”

Marlene narrowed her gaze. “Why the hell not?” she asked him.

He blinked at the vehemence in her tone. “Because…” He struggled for a way to explain himself that wouldn’t hurt Marlene’s feelings. He’d cared about her in a special way, and if he confessed that he couldn’t be with Gabrielle because he loved her, it would be the same as admitting he’d never been in love with Marlene.

He loved Gabrielle.

Holy-

“Derek, did you hear what I said?”

He shook his head, wishing he hadn’t heard his own thoughts.

“I said that the curse is bullshit,” Marlene said.

He raised his gaze, focusing on his usually polite ex-wife. She rarely cursed. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You might never have explained the curse or your feelings for Gabrielle to me, but other people have. And I’ve spent enough time with your father to understand the way of things with you Corwin men. You were madly in love with Gabrielle but you broke up with her rather than admit it, to spare yourself the pain involved in the curse.”

Derek opened his mouth, but when she raised her hand to stop him, he shut it again.

“Let me finish,” Marlene demanded.

“Go on.” He gestured for her to do just that.

“You married me because I was pregnant, but most important you married me because you weren’t in love with me.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to. You never told me you loved me, either.” She spoke evenly, indicating she was long over the fact he hadn’t loved her and long over him.

Which didn’t alleviate his sense of guilt or shame. “Marlene-”

She shook her head. “Let it go. I have. Or at least I thought I had until I had to face Gabrielle in the flesh. But I’m past that now. You and I have a great little girl. We did something good together.”

“That we did.” He smiled at the thought of Holly.

“But now you have a second chance to make things right with Gabrielle. Why aren’t you two together? Because you’re afraid to admit you love her and let some crazy curse kick in?” She stared at him as if he were mad.

The way he was feeling lately, she might just be right.

“Things happen in life. Divorce statistics are high. People die every day for no reason. They might get hit by a bus or a car. Others have affairs and ruin their lives. People make choices, but bad things do not happen because of a curse!” she said, her voice rising. “Sorry. But think about it.”

He rubbed his hand over his burning eyes. “It’s all I have thought about. Don’t you think Gabrielle’s said the same things to me?”

Marlene smiled. “I’m sure she has. But you obviously aren’t listening to her, so I’m asking you to listen to me. This woman has been a part of you for the past fourteen or fifteen years. She will continue to be a part of you whether or not you deny her a place in your life. So you have a choice. You can be lonely, stubborn and stupid like your father and his brothers or you can reach out and grab what you’ve always wanted.” She rose to her feet.

Derek stood, too. “I can’t stand by and lose her in some awful way.” The fire came to mind. The waiting desperately to see if Gabrielle had lived or died…only to push her out of his life hours later.

His head began to pound. So did his heart, with possibilities he’d never allowed himself to imagine. Could Gabrielle and Marlene be right?

Was it worth it to live like a shell of himself in case the curse kicked in? Or was he better off diving into those deep waters and at least enjoying whatever life gave him?

Gave them, here and now?

“Come on, Derek. Loss is a part of life. Are you any less miserable now than if you two were together and something happened later? Like I said, she’s a part of you and always has been. She always will be. The question is, what are you willing to do about it?”

He nodded, finally getting it. Finally hearing what Gabrielle had been trying to tell him for so long. “Thank you,” he said to his ex-wife.

“Thank your daughter. She’s the one who told me what a great person Gabrielle is, how happy she makes you and how she makes Holly feel as important as John does.” Marlene shrugged. “An eleven-year-old reminded me that I don’t need to feel threatened because she doesn’t. Go figure.” Marlene laughed.

Thinking of his precocious daughter, Derek grinned.

He still had more to mull over. He couldn’t just dump years of ingrained beliefs in ten minutes, but Marlene had given him a lot to digest. Gabrielle had always been a part of him. She always would be. What was he accomplishing by keeping them apart?

The answer was simple. He wasn’t accomplishing a damn thing. But did he have the courage to defy the old family curse?

GABRIELLE LOOKED AT THE invitation to Holly’s birthday party in disbelief. A smiling picture of Holly and Fred stared back at her. She was certain Derek had to know Holly had invited her to his house for a party. Certain he’d know how difficult it would be for her to attend. But knowing Holly, she’d probably bounced up and down until he’d agreed, and Derek wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint his daughter. The grown-ups would have to-well-grow up in order to make Holly happy on her twelfth birthday.

The invitation had a phone number and an e-mail for RSVPs. Gabrielle chose the easy way, shooting off an e-mail letting them know she’d be there.

One week later, she drove her freshly painted convertible back to Stewart. She pulled around behind Derek’s place and parked, then made her way out back where music floated in the hot summer air.

Since this wasn’t Holly’s main home, Gabrielle didn’t expect to find a large amount of people and she was right. Holly was hanging out with a group of girls, while a handful of adults mingled in the yard. She saw Hank and Thomas standing together, and to her surprise, Holly’s mother and a nice-looking man whom Gabrielle assumed was her husband sat at the old picnic table. Gabrielle had assumed Derek’s ex wouldn’t be here. She was wrong. Obviously.

Her discomfort level increased, but she pushed herself forward. For Holly’s sake.

Something cold nudged her leg and Gabrielle glanced down to see Fred, wearing a party hat, pressing his nose into her calf.

“Hey, old man. You really are a sport, aren’t you?” she asked him, bending down to scratch beneath his ears.

“Gabrielle!” Holly shouted her name and came running toward her, a happy bundle of energy.

Gabrielle rose to greet her. “Hey there! Happy birthday.” She held out the gift that she’d spent a long time choosing. “I hope you like it.”

“I’ll love it.” She accepted the gift and placed it beside the others on a table beside her. “I’m just glad you’re here. Once you said you’d come to my party, I knew you weren’t holding the fact that my dad’s such a dork against me.”

Gabrielle chuckled.

“Who are you calling a dork, dork?” Derek strode over, looking handsome as ever. He was tanned and relaxed and the light green of his T-shirt brought out the hue in his eyes. She’d missed him like crazy and her heart pounded hard in her chest.

“Holly!” Marlene called. “I need to talk to you.”

The young girl glanced at her mother and stepfather. “Coming!” She turned back to Gabrielle. “I’ll be back in a second,” she said, then ran to the picnic table, leaving Derek and Gabrielle alone.

She drew a deep breath and met Derek’s gaze. “Hi,” Gabrielle said to him.

“Hi, yourself.” His gaze traveled over her, head to toe. “You’re looking good,” he murmured, nodding in appreciation.

She glanced down at the strappy dress she’d never admit she’d bought just for seeing him today and smiled. “Thank you.”

“It was nice of you to come for Holly. I know she was worried you’d change your mind.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that to her.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he said, his voice deep and husky. Warm and inviting. Understanding.

She shivered beneath the sun.

“Derek, the barbecue won’t light!” Hank called out to him.

“I have to help him if we’re going to eat. Make yourself at home.”

Make yourself at home.

She wondered if he knew how deep his words sliced. She’d done that once. And though he hadn’t promised her anything, she hadn’t realized until she’d had to pack up and leave immediately after the fire, how much she’d counted on changing his mind about them.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat and headed to a cooler that held cans of soda. She filled a cup with ice, then poured herself a cold drink before settling into a chair overlooking the back of the old barn.

“Mind if I join you?”

Gabrielle glanced up at Marlene, who’d walked up to her. “Of course not,” she said warily.

Their last meeting hadn’t exactly been warm and friendly. And considering the other woman had threatened to use Gabrielle as a means to pry Holly away from her father, Gabrielle worried about what the other woman wanted now. But it couldn’t hurt to find out.

“I owe you an apology,” Marlene said, taking Gabrielle off guard. “I wasn’t all that pleasant the first time we met.”

“It’s okay.” Gabrielle shrugged casually. “I’m really not one to hold a grudge.”

Marlene smiled. “I’m glad. Because my daughter adores you and I’d like it if you’d give me another chance.”

Gabrielle wasn’t sure where this sudden peace offering was coming from, but she owed it to Holly to be civil with her mother. Besides, after today they wouldn’t be seeing each other all that often.

Gabrielle swerved in her seat so she could face Marlene. “You have a wonderful child, so I have to assume you’re a good person, too.”

“Thank you. I think she’s special.”

Their gazes drifted to Holly, holding court among a circle of her friends.

“I didn’t think she knew that many people in town,” Gabrielle said.

“She doesn’t. John and I brought her closest friends with us for the weekend to celebrate Holly’s birthday.”

Gabrielle nodded. “Aah, that explains the big group.”

An awkward silence followed, punctuated by occasional giggles and girlish screams across the way.

“I wanted to hate you,” Marlene said at last.

Gabrielle raised an eyebrow, startled by the other woman’s blunt words. “Excuse me?”

Marlene tucked her short hair behind one ear. “I wanted to hate you. Maybe I needed to, because for all the years I was married, you still had the one thing I wanted.”

Gabrielle shook her head, confused. “I really don’t understand.”

“You had his heart. His love. The one thing I desperately wanted, belonged to you.”

Gabrielle opened her mouth, then closed it again, struggling to find the right words. “I was alone, trying to find a life and a world that could make me happy. But…you had him. And you had his child. All the things I wanted but could never have,” Gabrielle said, admitting the painful truth out loud.

“I guess neither one of us had the whole package,” Marlene murmured.

Gabrielle nodded in agreement. Her throat grew thick and her eyes damp. She turned away to compose herself before glancing back at Marlene. “But you have that now?” she asked.

The other woman nodded. Her fingers went to the diamond ring and matching wedding band. “I’m very lucky. I think I forgot that for a minute. The night you walked into the house beside Derek, all the wonderful things in my life flew out the window and I went back in time.” She shook her head, her cheeks pink. “Anyway, I just wanted to apologize. I appreciate you letting me explain.”

“Thanks. I wish you all the best.” Gabrielle rose from her seat. She suddenly needed to be alone for a few minutes to pull herself together.

Marlene’s words had brought up emotions Gabrielle wasn’t ready to handle. She might have had Derek’s love, but it didn’t mean anything. It never had. He wasn’t hers. He never would be.

She headed for the street, hoping Holly wouldn’t notice. She’d just take a short ride, blast some music, open the top of the convertible and clear her mind. Once she could breathe without wanting to cry, she’d come back and celebrate.

She reached the car when she heard Derek calling her name. God, not now, she thought, yanking open the door.

“Gabrielle, wait.”

He caught up to her before she could shut herself inside. “Where are you going? You just got here and we haven’t even had a chance to light the candles yet.”

She leaned against the open door for support. “I’ll be back. I just need a few minutes alone.”

“Why? What did Marlene say to upset you?” he asked, his voice dark. “I saw you two talking. If she said anything-”

“She didn’t upset me. She apologized for how she acted the first time we met. She’s lovely. Now, can I just go get some fresh air? I’ll come back for Holly’s cake, I promise.”

He put his hand on the top of the window. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Gabrielle exploded. “You’re wrong. Inviting me here was wrong. Hearing Marlene tell me how much she resented me because I had your heart-that’s wrong.” All the frustration she’d never vented at him came pouring out now. Frustration that he’d made her leave him again when they had so much to fight for. “Because really, Derek, what good has me having your heart ever done?” she asked, half yelling at him, half crying.

She turned to duck inside her car, but he pulled her back, turning her around and sealing her lips with his.

She fought him at first, not wanting to succumb, not wanting to feel the love he aroused so easily, only to have him take it away from her again. But he was relentless, kissing her until her lips softened, until she melted against him and kissed him back.

Only once she’d completely relaxed, did he step back. “Better?” he asked.

She drew a deep breath. “That’s playing dirty,” she said, her lips stinging wonderfully from the assault.

“Its only playing dirty if I’m not playing for keeps.” His gaze never left hers.

Her heart skipped a beat. She was sure she’d heard him wrong or she was misunderstanding him somehow. “Derek?”

He grasped both her hands in his. “I’m not telling you I don’t believe in curses. I’m not saying my family hasn’t been proof of the Corwin Curse for the past who knows how many generations.”

Her heart beat fast in her chest. “Then what are you telling me?”

“That I can’t go on living without you anymore. Not one more day. Not even another minute.” His eyes were as dark and as serious as she’d ever seen them. “Whether it’s a curse or Fate, we’ll just have to fight it together, because without you, I’m lost.”

Her head spun with the impact of his words. It was everything she’d ever wanted, everything she’d ever dreamed of. Everything he’d sworn he couldn’t give her.

“How? Why?”

She needed to hear what had finally changed his mind before she could let herself believe.

“Would you believe it was my ex-wife who convinced me?”

“At this point, I’d believe anything.” She covered her eyes from the glare of the sun as she glanced up at him. “What did she say?”

“Nothing that you hadn’t already told me, except for one thing. The same thing she apparently told you. That you’ve always been a part of me and you always will be. Then she asked me what I was willing to do about it.” He shrugged, but Gabrielle knew nothing about this was easy for him.

He’d been fighting the curse for a lifetime. His family had been fighting it even longer.

“What are you willing to do about it?” she asked softly.

He cupped her face in his hands and her heart felt like bursting. “I love you, Gabrielle Donovan. I loved you when I was eighteen, I loved you in between and I love you now.”

Tears flowed unchecked from her eyes at the words she’d longed to hear for so long. “Aren’t you afraid of what will happen now?”

They both knew she meant the curse.

He shook his head. “No. Well, maybe a little,” he said, laughing. “Old habits die hard. But I feel pretty sure we can overcome anything life throws at us together.”

She grinned and Derek swore to himself he’d make it his mission to keep her smiling for the rest of their lives, the curse be damned.

He loved her. He’d told her. And the earth hadn’t opened up and swallowed him whole.

“You really believe our love can overcome anything?” she asked.

He nodded. “I do. Want to know why? Because I have you by my side.”

The look on her face filled him with everything he needed.

“I love you, too,” she said, her gaze never leaving his.

“So what do you say we go give Holly her birthday present?” Derek suggested, taking Gabrielle’s hand.

She tipped her head to one side. “Which present is that?”

“News of our engagement…if you’ll marry me,” he said, pulling a ring from his front pocket.

He’d purchased it the day Holly had asked him to invite Gabrielle for her birthday. Derek had asked his daughter how she’d feel to have Gabrielle as her stepmother. Lucky for him, Holly had loved Gabrielle as much as he did.

“I’m stunned.”

He grinned. “I do think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you? Gabrielle, will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes!” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

He knew, together, they’d make it. After all, he had his very own lucky charm.