Lycan It

Chapter Ten

“Janine?” She sobbed as Raze held her against him, and after her struggle ceased, he slipped out of her body.

“You made me like you,” she whispered between her sniffles.

“Son of a bitch,” he murmured under his breath before turning her to face him. “Look at me.” When she kept her eyes downward, he gave her a gentle shake. “Damn it. Look at me.” He nearly wept when he saw the pain in her eyes.

“Why? Why did you do it?” she choked out around sobs.

“I did not do anything. I didn’t even break your skin.” He took her hand and guided it to her neck so she could feel for herself. “I would never do that to you unless you agreed to it. Do you trust me so little after everything we’ve been through?”

He felt as if he’d been torn in two. His mate, the love of his life, the other half of his soul thought he would change her when she’d made it clear to him that she was scared of becoming what he was? The hurt Damon had caused him over the years was nothing, a tiny speck of dust compared to the pain he felt at this very moment. For a minute, he feared his now broken heart might stutter to a stop.

Her sobbing quieted as she glided her fingers over the area he’d bitten.

“But, I thought—”

“Yeah. I know exactly what you thought.” He turned around and sat on the edge of the mattress and let his feet hit the wood floor. He propped his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands.

She was quiet for several minutes before she moved, and he felt the mattress dip beside him. “I’m sorry. I guess I freaked out a little.”

He raised his head from his hands and looked at her. “This just isn’t going to work between us, is it? I want it to more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but you aren’t ever going to trust me one hundred percent, are you?”

“It’s not that. I’ve been through so much the past few days. And, when I thought—”

“When you thought I bit you?” He shook his head and stood. He bent, pulled his jeans on, and watched her from under his lashes. He reached out, cupped the side of her cheek and sighed. “You are a beautiful, sexy, honest, feisty, lovely woman. You have so much to offer the world, and you don’t even know it. I wish with all of my heart that you could trust me, but if you can’t, a relationship between us is impossible.”

“Raze, I didn’t mean to flip out like I did. I just . . .” She chewed her bottom lip and watched him with blue eyes that swam in pools of tears.

“I know, but until I know that you trust me, that you know I would never do anything you didn’t want me to or anything that would hurt you, we can’t continue on with what’s between us. And there is something between us. You can feel it just as I can. I will protect you with my life, and clean up this mess with Damon. After that, you can decide if your life will include me or not.”

Walking away from her was the hardest thing he had ever done. His soul screamed at him to run back to her and tell her he didn’t care if she ever trusted him, didn’t care about anything as long as she stayed with him. She was his true mate, and he’d forever have a void inside his chest if she chose to live without him in her life, but he couldn’t be with her if she didn’t trust him. It wouldn’t be fair to him or her, and maybe he didn’t deserve any better than that, but she sure as hell did.

“Tell us a little about Damon, Raze.” Anthony eyed Raze with a cold calm that sent a trickle of foreboding down his spine.

He sat across from Anthony and Brent. The two werewolves were ancients, and while he wasn’t a spring chicken, these two had quite a few years on him. They had been around when the lycan laws had been sacred, when the race had been united as one, and the main goal was to keep all potential mates safe. Raze had the same beliefs, and had struggled with witnessing the things his pack had done after most of them had gone rogue.

Luckily, he’d held on to his beliefs when most of the chivalry and morality had been brainwashed from those younger and older than he. He’d learned to keep his mouth shut and not draw attention to himself, but when Damon had killed the pack’s old leader and had become the alpha male, things had taken a drastic nose dive to hell. Raze had been plagued by horrible nightmares of the things Damon had done, and had awoken on more than one occasion with screams clawing at the back of his throat.

He’d witnessed so much violence, so much useless cruelty, that he honestly didn’t understand how he’d stayed sane.

“Damon lives for violence. He believes whatever he wants is his for the taking, including all lycan potential mates. He’s brought several women who carried the main scent to our pack over the years. They’ve been horribly used and mistreated. Once Damon and the pack tired of them, they were killed.

Janine is the first to survive.” Raze scrubbed his fingers across his face, wishing he could wipe the things he’d seen from his mind.

He’d tried several times to help the women, to convince Damon that what he was doing was wrong. Those actions always had repercussions, and the repercussions grew harsher every time Raze voiced his concerns. He finally stopped saying anything, as he knew the next time would end in his death. That was when he started trying to escape, but Damon had kept a short leash on him as if he knew what Raze was planning.

“This is why we started the sanctuary. We know there are younger lycans like you stuck in rogue packs. It is near impossible to escape your pack unless you are ancient or have protection on the outside. That is where we come in.

My mate was hunted by rogues for years.” A muscle ticked in Brent’s cheek

“I believe that if we hadn’t escaped when we did, Damon would have taken Janine from me and passed her around to the pack. She would have probably been murdered like the rest.” Raze’s stomach clenched at the thought.

“You did good getting her out and protecting her. You did the right thing.” Anthony stood and leaned his hip against the wall.

“I had to,” Raze whispered.

“She’s your mate. You had no choice but to try to protect her,” Brent agreed.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t trust me. I told her we shouldn’t be together if she couldn’t.” Raze looked Brent in the eye.

Brent snickered. “Damn, kid, and here I was thinking you were smart.

What the hell do you expect? She’s human. Up until a few days ago, she had no idea we even existed. She’s been through a lot, Raze. You need to cut her some slack.”

“You should be on your knees thanking God that he led her to you, and instead, you’re worried about her trusting you when she’s probably scared shitless? Don’t be a fucking martyr, because that’s what you’ll be if you don’t fight for her. You’ll die little by little inside without her. She’s the only salvation, the only light to the darkness you’ve endured that you will ever be offered.” Anthony watched Raze with sparkling green eyes.

Maybe they were right. Maybe he’d gotten a little carried away a little too soon with the trust thing. Raze sighed.

“Is Damon a skilled hunter and fighter?” Brent picked up a bottle of water sitting in front of him, unscrewed the cap and took a long sip.

“He’s good, but he’s more cocky than anything. Damon has a big ego, and he’s easily fooled when someone declares their obedience to him, even if it is an act. That’s how I escaped, by acting like his superiority and intelligence was something I should have never questioned. Although, I can’t promise he won’t be a little wiser now that I screwed him.” Raze smiled when he remembered how he’d nearly plowed Damon over with the Jeep at the rest stop.

“Then there is absolutely no doubt that he will come for you?” Anthony asked.

“None.”

“So be it. We’ve only recently opened the sanctuary, and you are our first guest, but we do have several young lycans coming in next week. For now, it is you, Anthony and me. Our mates, Rindy and Karen, are also here, and while I don’t want them involved, they can protect Janine while we take care of Damon and anyone else who is stupid enough to come with him.” Brent glanced at Anthony and waited until he nodded in agreement.

“You should be safe enough at the cabin. Brent and I will patrol the area in shifts, and at the first sign of trouble, we’ll move Janine here with Karen and Rindy. This place has a Fort Knox security system, and once it’s activated, no one will get in unless they are let in.” Anthony walked to the front door. “We’ll get this problem taken care of.”

“Thank you for your help.” Raze was glad he’d heard about this place.

There was no way he’d ever be able to protect Janine like this on his own.

Raze left the cabin a few moments later and made his way back to where he and Janine were staying. He walked quietly, and sniffed the air as he went, on alert for any sign of Damon or the other pack members. When he walked in the front door, the lights were out, and the place was quiet. He went down the hall and peeked into the bedroom, and is breath hitched in his throat.

Janine lay sprawled across the bed, the sheet barely covering her naked curves, fast asleep. Her blonde hair lay in haphazard sections across the pillow, and her cheek rested on the arm she had bent under her head. She was gorgeous, and he couldn’t understand why she had doubts about that fact. He wanted to crawl in the bed with her, simply hold her while he slept, tell her he’d been a fool earlier, but he didn’t want to wake her.

He left the door cracked, went back to the living room, and arranged his huge frame on the tiny couch. His feet hung over the end, and his neck scrunched at an angle he knew was going to cause an ache by morning. He was simply too tired to care. His eyes drifted closed, and he slipped into a deep sleep.

Raze stroked the inside of her naked thigh with his long fingers and Janine sighed.

The sun was shining down on them through the thick trees, giving off a comfortable warmth that belied the cool fall weather. He pushed her gently back until she lay on top of a pile of crunchy leaves. She smiled when she thought of how she’d have to pick them out of her hair later, knowing they’d only remind her of this very moment.

He grinned down at her, his eyes glowing, mirroring the same desire she felt for him.

She’d somehow come to terms with what he was, and had realized he’d never hurt her or make her do anything against her will. The way he touched her . . . It was as if she were a rare, precious gem. Suddenly, she understood why—why he touched her that way and why she felt as if she was that rare, precious gem when he did so. He loved her, and she accepted him, trusted him . . . loved him.

She had on a dress, and his fingers skimmed higher until they glided along the slick folds that were weeping just for him. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull his mouth to hers. He kissed her hungrily, and let two fingers slide home.

She cried out, but he swallowed the sounds and dipped his tongue deeper. She arched to meet his fingers as they slid deeper into her wetness, and his cock nudged her thigh. She raised her leg until she could rub against him, creating the same friction on his erection that he was treating her to. There kiss never broke as the swirling of her orgasm threatened to erupt out of control.

His thumb flicked her clit, and she plunged head long into the most mind shattering orgasm she’d ever experienced. Electricity shot through her skin, straight to her core. She bucked and cried out time and again, and just as she thought she’d reached the crescendo, he rubbed against her leg one final time and cried out in his own release, spurring her into another orgasm right on the heels of the first.

Her body quivered with the sheer shock of the glorious physical and emotional rapture it had just been bombarded with, and her heart slammed hard against her ribs. She panted and looked up into his face, his gorgeous face. He belonged to her. She could see it in his eyes. She owned his heart. She felt the same, and wondered if he could see it in her eyes as well.

Her body was replete, but still ached for something. “Make love to me, Raze.”

She needed him inside her where he belonged. She reached for him and widened her thighs in welcome of his possession.