Lying Out Loud

Chapter 18

“We should do something,” Wesley said as he slid into the seat across from me.

“Could you be more specific?” Bianca asked. She was sitting next to him, sipping a Cherry Coke.

It was a couple of days after Christmas, and the four of us — Wesley, Bianca, Amy, and me — were spending an evening at the Nest, a local hangout popular with some of Hamilton’s high school population.

Amy and I definitely weren’t too keen on the place, but Wesley had insisted we go for “old times’ sake.” His old times, not ours. But alas, we’d caved in.

Wesley plucked a french fry from the basket in the middle of the table. “Winter break’s not that much longer. We should do something fun before we have to go back to New York.”

“I thought we were here because you thought it would be fun,” I said.

“It is.”

“We will agree to disagree.”

“Oh, come on. This place is great,” Wesley said. “They’re hiring, you know. Don’t you need a new job?”

“There’s not enough money in the world,” I said, cringing as a group of freshman girls squealed with delight as they ran through the front door.

“I’m with Sonny on this one,” Bianca said.

“Amy’s with me, though, right?” Wesley looked at his sister, who didn’t disagree but also refused to meet his eyes, which was telling enough. “Something is wrong with you three. Everyone else here agrees that this is the best place to hang out in Hamilton.”

“There’s not exactly competition for that title,” I pointed out.

Wesley ignored me. “You know,” he said, a wicked grin spreading across his face as he put an arm around his girlfriend, “this is the first place Bianca and I ever kissed.”

Bianca snorted, almost spitting out her Cherry Coke. “Um, it’s also the first place I ever threw a drink in your face.”

“Has that happened enough times to warrant a ‘first’?” I asked.

Bianca nodded, and Amy and I both burst out laughing. Wesley, however, pressed on, undeterred.

“I was serious before, though,” he said. “About doing something fun before school starts again.”

“Like what?” Amy asked.

“Like maybe we could throw a party?”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Again,” she said. “Fun for who?”

“I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas.”

“Actually,” she said, “I think I have one. My granddad has a cabin down in Tennessee, in the Smoky Mountains. Mom is constantly nagging me to bring some friends down to stay there for a long weekend. We’d have the place to ourselves.”

“Oh,” Amy said, perking up. “That sounds fun.”

“Actually, it does,” Wesley admitted.

I looked down at the surface of the table. It had been carved up over the years, names and dates and curse words cut into the wood. I focused on it, pretending to read as the three of them discussed plans to head down to Tennessee in a few days. I tried to think of something else, of my own plans for New Year’s Eve, but the pulsing rhythm of the electronic dance music kept my brain from getting too far.

“We’ll leave on Thursday, then,” Bianca said. “A few days in the mountains. I’ll let Mom know. She’ll be thrilled that someone is finally using the place.”

“Is there a hot tub?” Wesley asked.

Bianca didn’t answer. “It’ll be cold, but it’s a gorgeous place to hike. So pack some boots if you have them.”

“I just got a new pair,” Amy said.

“Excellent. What about you, Sonny?”

My head jerked up. “Huh?”

“Boots,” Bianca said. “Do you have some? If you don’t, I have an extra pair that might fit. What size shoe are you?”

“Oh. Size seven, but …”

The truth was, as close as I felt to Wesley, I didn’t know Bianca that well. I’d met her several times over the years, sure, whenever she and Wesley were home for holiday breaks, and I liked her a lot. We’d hung out plenty, but it was always with Wesley and Amy. She knew me through them, and I doubted she saw me as a friend. More like an occasional, not-entirely-unpleasant tagalong. I wasn’t someone she liked well enough to invite to her grandfather’s cabin. I’d assumed this discussion related strictly to the two Rush siblings at the table.

“But what?” Bianca said. “You’re coming with us, aren’t you?”

“If you want me to,” I said. “I just figured it would be the three of you. A family trip or something.”

“You are family.” Wesley said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like it was something no one could deny. The sky was blue, the Earth revolved around the sun, and I was family.

I felt an embarrassing, unexpected lump rising in my throat. Luckily, Bianca chimed in before I had to.

“Of course you’re invited,” she said. “Do you think we’re assholes who would talk about the trip right in front of you if you weren’t?”

“No, but —”

“Besides,” she said, cutting me off. “Everywhere Amy goes, you go, right? You two are like a package deal.”

I glanced at Amy, who was selecting a french fry from the basket. Maybe we were a package deal, but lately, it hadn’t been a pretty package. She was still acting a little distant, and she practically shut down any time I mentioned Ryder, giving monosyllabic replies until she found a way to change the subject or a reason to leave the room.

Maybe getting away from it all, taking this trip with Wesley and Bianca, would be good for us.

“Okay,” I said. “I’m coming.”

Bianca smiled at me.

“Excellent,” Wesley said, a twinkle in his eyes. “Someone will have to keep Amy occupied while Bianca and I sneak off to —”

“Ew!” Amy and I both shrieked.

“Perv,” Bianca said, but she was laughing.

“I was going to say to go hiking,” Wesley said, all mock innocence. “It’s you three who have your minds in the gutter.”

“Sure. Whatever you say.” Bianca popped the last fry into her mouth. “Now can we go? I’m almost twenty-one. I feel like a creepy old lady in here.”

On our way out, I risked a glance over at Amy. She caught me and gave a small smile. It wasn’t fake, but it wasn’t quite real either.

I told myself I would fix it. That a few days in the mountains would bring us closer again.

Unfortunately, things got worse before they got better.

“Hey, Sonny?”

I looked up from the suitcase I was packing to find Amy standing in the doorway of the guest room. There was a sweater slung over her shoulder and a pair of boots in her hand, and I knew she must’ve been packing, too. We were set to leave for Tennessee early the next morning. We’d be gone only a few days, but Bianca had warned us that it would be cold in the mountains, so layers were required. Pretty much my entire wardrobe was folded into the suitcase, plus a pair of snow boots I had borrowed from Mrs. Rush.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. I was just wondering if I could get my phone back from you?” she asked. “Now that you have one, I figure you don’t need mine anymore.”

“Oh, right.” I stood up and glanced around, trying to remember where I’d left it. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot to give that back.”

“No big deal. It’s not like I missed any calls.”

I found it in the pocket of some dirty jeans, wadded up on the floor. I held the phone out to her and she took it with her free hand.

“Thanks,” she said. “Are you almost done packing?”

“Yep. Got everything but my toothbrush.”

“Definitely don’t forget that.”

“Amy, are you saying I have bad morning breath?” I asked, feigning insult. “I’m devastated.”

She gave a little giggle, but I noticed she didn’t deny my accusation either. “I’m looking forward to this,” she said. “This trip, I mean. I think it’ll be good to get out of Hamilton for a few days. Just the four of us, you know? No school. No distractions.”

No Ryder.

She didn’t say it, but she didn’t have to. I knew what she was thinking.

“Me, too,” I said.

“Well, I should finish packing. Thanks for the phone.”

“Yeah. No problem.”

When she was gone, I went back to my suitcase and began to zip it shut. I’d only moved the zipper a couple inches when I heard the little trill from down the hall. The familiar sound of a text message coming through on Amy’s phone.

Amy’s phone.

Amy never got text messages.

Except from Ryder.

Then I realized with horror that I hadn’t deleted the last few text messages we’d sent. They were from a few days ago — before Christmas, before our almost-kiss in his car — and, to make matters worse, they were of the sexier variety.

“Oh, shit!”

I jumped to my feet and sprinted down the hall, flinging open Amy’s bedroom door.

But it was too late.

She was holding the phone, staring down at the screen with wide eyes.

“Amy,” I said slowly, my heart racing.

She looked up at me, her shock melting into an expression I’d rarely seen her wear.

Fury.

“You’ve been texting him?” she asked. “You’ve been texting him these messages and pretending to be me?”

“I can explain,” I said. Because that’s what everyone said in a situation like this. In reality, though, I didn’t even have a good lie to cover my ass.

“I don’t think you can,” she said. Her voice was so calm, so quiet, that it sent chills up my spine. The sharp contrast between her tone and her blazing eyes was terrifying. “You were supposed to be making him not like me. You were supposed to be scaring him off so he’d like you. So we could be done with this. But all this time you’ve been …” She looked down at the phone again. “He thinks I sent these?”

“Amy …”

She threw the phone on the bed and turned away from me. “I have to finish packing.”

“Amy, I’m —”

“Just go, Sonny.” She wasn’t looking at me. “Just … Just get out of my room.”

It was the first time she’d ever kicked me out of her room. Before it had been my choice, my decision to give her space. But this time …

This time she was telling me to leave.

And she had every right to.

Because I’d really fucked up this time.