Meant for Me

Chapter Eighteen

Will

“Mind if I borrow Ben for a minute?” I ask Frank out of politeness, but I really don’t care what he says. “I have an errand I need him to help me with.”

“Sure, go ahead. It’s been pretty slow this afternoon,” Frank says, lifting his eyes from the copy of the Gazette he was reading. “Just don’t tell my son,” he chuckles, and I play along like it’s some kind of inside joke between the two of us.

“Where is Eric anyway?” I ask, glancing around. “I haven’t seen him today.”

“He went back to the house to check on Ivy. He’s nervous about leaving her alone all day. He’s afraid she’s going to try to run a marathon or something.” Frank grimaces, shaking his head. “I wish that boy would stop being so damn protective of her, but he’s scared.”

“Yeah, I know he is.” I’m not one to get sentimental, and Eric’s not my favorite person in the world, but how much can one guy take?

“Anything else you need, Frank?” Ben asks, ignoring me as he walks in with a hefty bag of ice melt slung over his shoulder.

“Nah, I think that’s it for today, but it seems like Will needs you for something,” Frank says innocently, unaware of our situation.

“Oh yeah?” Ben’s all business in front of Frank, but under the surface I can tell he’s pleased by the interruption.

“Can you give me a ride into town? Eric has his truck up at the house and I don’t want to bother him if he’s with Ivy.” I lay it on thick for Frank’s benefit.

“Sure, I could do that.” Ben wipes his hands on his jeans after heaving the fifty-pound bag on top of the pile. “You ready?”

“Uh huh,” I respond casually, despite my eagerness.

“See you tomorrow, Frank.” Ben waves, heading out the door.

“Okay, Ben,” Frank says absentmindedly, already lost in the sports section. “Goodnight, fellas.”

The bell above the door jingles as we step out into the cold. Ben’s still playing it cool, but I feel a jolt of excitement from walking next to him, side by side, the shadows we’re casting on the ground practically touching. He’s a lot brawnier than I am, all solid muscle, but not big and bulky like a linebacker. Oh no, he’s tight and trim in all the right places.

“I didn’t think I’d be back in your hillbilly truck so soon,” I flirt with him as he disengages the automatic locks. “Last night was pretty fantastic.”

For a split second, he blushes before getting behind the wheel. “What’s this all about?”

“We need to continue our conversation,” I respond breezily, fastening my seatbelt.

“I don’t think so.” He’s wary of my motives. “But we have to go somewhere after you fed Frank that line of bull, so give me a destination.”

“That same secluded spot would be nice,” I drawl, igniting the fire in his eyes. “And this time I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Forget it, Will,” he spits out, gunning the engine. “We’ve already talked about this.”

“Yeah, but you have to reconsider. There’s too much at stake for you to cling to your stupid jock image. Now’s the time when you have to take one for the team.” I appeal to his better nature, hoping he won’t shut me out.

“You’re not outing me, Will.” He roars past the mailbox at the end of the lane and keeps going. “I don’t care what you say. I’ve got too much to lose.”

“But think about it for a minute,” I respond, taking a diplomatic approach. “You’re going to be leaving town in a matter of months. You’ll be away from these small-minded people. Their opinions won’t matter anymore. And besides, you’re not admitting you’re gay to the whole town—just to Lauren.”

“Yeah, who just so happens to have the power to ruin me,” Ben laughs cruelly. “Are you out of your mind?”

“She’d rather die than expose Ryan and you know it.” I hate throwing his previous relationship back in his face, but he’s not giving me any choice. “We have to hit her where it counts. Threaten her. Scare her into thinking that you’re going to go public with all of the details and that the whole town’s gonna find out that Ryan was your boyfriend.”

“Ryan gutted me, Will, okay? I didn’t think I’d ever get over him. He was it for me.” He takes his hand off the steering wheel to run it over the stubble on his face.

It’s one of his nervous gestures that I find so endearing, but I can’t let his cuteness distract me from the mission at hand. He needs to cooperate, and he’s going to. I admire his spirit, but it’s misdirected. He’s the hottest guy I’ve ever been with, but I’m all about self-preservation. And I’m not about to let everything fall apart just because he’s expected to bang every cheerleader on the squad. Life is more complicated than that.

“So Lauren’s dad caught you fooling around with his son, and he took it out on your brother to keep you quiet. Don’t you think Lauren’s already figured it out? She might be a crazy bitch, but she’s not dumb.” I take it as a good omen when Ben pulls over. We’re out in the open, and it’s not exactly private if someone happens to drive by, but it’ll do. At least I know what I’m saying is starting to penetrate his thick skull.

“My brother lost his job because of me, and he doesn’t even know it.” He stares at the barren trees out the windshield. “Ryan was taking a lot of heat from the guys at school. They knew what he was even if they couldn’t prove it. He hated the idea of them harassing him. So he’d do stupid shit to try and prove his manhood. He could never accept himself for who he is. I loved him so much but it wasn’t enough for him. I tried to keep him safe, but I failed.”

“You tried,” I reassure him, stroking the back of his head as he lowers it against the wheel.

“He was always so careful, but I got him drunk at his dad’s lodge to loosen him up. I wanted to enjoy our weekend together, but he’d only ever touch me after he’d had a few beers. It’s like he was repulsed by what we were doing, but he still wanted it. We had the music on pretty loud and we didn’t hear the garage door go up. His father caught us in the act and all hell broke lose. I never touched him again.” Ben stops and I lean forward to wrap him in my arms.

“Did his father threaten you?” I ask, somewhat afraid to hear the whole story.

“No, but I can’t help but think he set my brother up,” Ben continues, lifting his head. “Ryan went off the rails after that, doing messed-up shit. He was backing girls up against lockers to cop a feel. He was making suggestive comments while standing in the lunch line. He was texting naked pictures of himself to the prom committee. It was like he was trying to prove a point or something. Well, during his testosterone-fueled rampage, my brother caught him spying on the girls’ swim team. He had no idea what had happened between us and he reported him. Ryan didn’t get punished, but my brother got fired.”

“Why didn’t you speak up then?” I hover over him, wishing he had done the right thing when it counted but also understanding the shame that went into making such a confession.

“Because I was in the process of applying to college. I needed recommendations from my teachers and coaches. I was up for a free ride. Why would I throw that all away? Besides, what college team has an openly gay quarterback? Name one,” he challenges me, his beautiful face distorted in anger.

“I can’t,” I admit freely. “But by protecting yourself, you let others get hurt.”

“And you’re suddenly the morality police?” he huffs.

“No, but I will be one of the people Lauren destroys if you don’t speak up.” I have to convince him to stand up to her. He’s on the fence. All he needs is a little push. “I came back here with nothing. I’m living in a woodshed for fuck’s sake. She destroyed my love life and severely damaged my reputation in Hollywood, all in one fell swoop. The one thing I had going for me was the screenplay, and she even managed to take that away from me too. Trust me, I know what it feels like to lose everything.”

“So you’d put me in the same predicament?” he asks, flabbergasted. “Sorry, Will, but I’m not a loser. I’m a winner.”

“If you threaten Lauren by going after Ryan, you could be more than a winner. You could be a savior.” I let the word linger in the air. In the world of sports, what player doesn’t have a hero complex? “You could save me. You could save Ivy. You could save that unborn baby.”

“And if I confront Lauren about Ryan and she refuses to cooperate, what then?” Ben is considering my proposal. He’s not dead set against it. I can see the gears turning in his mind.

“We call her bluff and I get my screenplay back.” I rub my hands together, giddy with anticipation.

“What do you have on her?” He looks at me expectantly.

“That your brother didn’t sleep with Cassidy.” I wait for the other shoe to drop.

“Wait a minute! What?” Ben mutters, scrambling to recover from his initial shock over my announcement. “But you’ve never even talked to Tim. How do you know he—?”

“Actually fucked Lauren instead?” I interrupt, running my hand down his chest, feeling his muscles tense beneath my fingers. “Let’s just say that when someone gives me an assignment, I do my homework. You knew, but you were never going to tell me, were you?”

“Will, I—” he starts, but I don’t want to hear his excuses.

“You were going to hang me out to dry. I get it. Family comes first.” I withdraw my hand and sit back in the seat. “Your brother must be enjoying the high life, living as a kept man. I bet he’s charging Lauren an exorbitant amount to play the dude who came between Eric and Cassidy, America’s favorite couple. Silence doesn’t come cheap—on either end. He fulfills the role she created for him and she doesn’t ruin your potentially lucrative future as a football star. Tim is probably looking at the big picture, hoping to reap the financial rewards if you do ever make it to the NFL. Fat chance, but don’t tell him that. But then again, I’m not a fan of mutually destructive blackmail.”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything about Tim,” Ben asserts.

“But I have a pretty good idea that he doesn’t like to work for a living and he knows a good thing when he sees it. Lauren would do anything to avoid a scandal with Ryan, and you’re Tim’s meal ticket so there’s no way he was going to let you take the fall. I give him credit for playing the seduction card. Lauren is a sucker for chiseled abs. I mean, what woman can resist a swimmer’s body?” I laugh, but Ben doesn’t join in. “Now don’t be mad. I’m impressed with the gig your brother has going here. She gets him to lie about Cassidy and satisfy her sexual cravings. He preserves your good name and gets her to support him until you hit the big time. Masterfully played. But it can’t feel good to have all of your brother’s expectations heaped onto your shoulders like that. Talk about a ball and chain. I feel sorry for you, my man.”

“I’m not your man,” he remarks snidely.

“I know. You’re still in love with Ryan, even though you can’t have him.” I reach for Ben, but he pushes my hand away. “I’m glad we had some fun together though.”

“What do you want?” He purses his lips like he’d like nothing better than to hit me.

“Ah, ever the pragmatist. I like that about you,” I say, lightly touching my finger to the tip of his nose.

“Get on with it,” he mutters.

“I want my screenplay, and you’re going to get Lauren to give it back.” I watch Ben’s expression carefully, but he’s not giving anything away.

“And what if I can’t get her to do that?” he asks, swallowing hard.

“Oh, I think you will,” I reply like I have all the faith in the world in his persuasive abilities.

“Really?” He pauses, feeling me out. “How do you figure that?”

“Because you still have Ryan Price wrapped around your little finger, whether he wants to admit it or not. He has to feel guilty about the way things ended. I’m sure he’d love to make it up to you. You tell him about how Lauren’s using your brother to manipulate Eric, and he forces her hand. She can’t have Eric find out about her arrangement with your brother and she can’t expose you without hurting Ryan. It’s perfect. Then once the two of you graduate and he gets out from under his father’s thumb, you could have a fresh start together.” I entice him with the prospect, but he’s not biting.

“And what if I don’t want to be with him anymore?” He stares me down, and I smile to hide my surprise.

“Oh, Ben. It was his name you called out last night in this very truck. You can’t fool me. You’re still in love with him.” I play the last move I have, hoping it’ll be enough.

“Of course I still love him, but it doesn’t mean I want to be with him. Not after what he did to Ivy last summer.” This time, he’s the one backing me into a corner.

“You know about that, huh?” I ask, knowing full well I’m venturing into uncharted territory.

“Yeah, and I told her she should tell the cops.” Of course, it’s the right thing to do, but his logic is eluding me.

“And why would you do that? I know Ryan must’ve gotten scared and broke it off, but do you really want your beloved sucking cock behind bars?” I honestly have no idea where Ben is going with this. At this point, I’m just along for the ride.

“Because it’s not about me, asshole. He’s going to hurt some poor, innocent girl, and I can’t stand by and let it happen. I’d report him myself if I could. I love him, but he needs help.” Ben starts to tear up, and I realize there’s more to this story than I imagined.

“What do you mean?” I ask, encouraging him to go on.

“His father created such a sense of self-loathing in him. He doesn’t know how to express love, only pain. I tried to get him to open up to me, but he could never be tender or gentle. He was always cruel, taking whatever he wanted.” He looks at me with such anguish that I want to turn away, but I can’t. “The things he did to me, Will.” He sobs, shaking his head. “But I thought I could change him, get him to see what a normal, loving relationship was like. And he was starting to come around but then his father caught us. Now I know there’s no saving him, especially after what he tried to do to Ivy.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone what he was doing to you?”

“Will, you’re the first gay man I’ve met besides Ryan. Who was I going to talk to about it?” He raises his hands in front of him, imploring me to answer him.

“Are you afraid of Ryan?” I have to get some kind of handle on Ben’s true feelings.

“No, I’m afraid of falling under his spell again,” he moans, leaning his head against the window.

“So you were the one who broke it off?” I inquire, studying his profile.

“I had to. I couldn’t take it anymore. But I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for walking away from him. I’m afraid that’s why he’s acting out like this. He’s confused. He’s hurt. He’s all alone.” Ben sniffles, trying to hold it together.

“Then why don’t you help him?” I ask, keeping my voice steady.

He looks over at me dejectedly. “How?”

“By once and for all standing up to his family,” I say in an attempt to empower him. “Reach out to Ryan. Tell him you’ll stand with him every step of the way—if he helps you deal with Lauren.”

“I can’t, Will. You’re asking too much of me. I’ll be leaving for college soon. I have other things I need to focus on.” Ben is pulling back. I’m losing him.

“So you’re just going to walk away and leave Ryan, knowing how he is. That doesn’t sound like something a man would do, and you want to go off and lead a team? I think it’s time you grew a pair.” I can’t help getting tough with him. Athletes respond to discipline, right?

“Why can’t I just talk to Lauren about his violent tendencies and leave Ryan out of it? I know much she cares about him. He didn’t handle his parents’ divorce well, but he somehow bonded with her. She’ll fight to the death to protect him, but maybe she needs to see it’s not in his best interest if she keeps shielding him from himself.” Ben’s trying to rationalize everything in his head, but working with Lauren is a terrible idea. She can’t be trusted. She’s a cover-up artist, not a therapist.

“Ben, you can’t reason with Lauren when it comes to dealing with Ryan. She’s too unpredictable. She’ll only negotiate with someone who has something on her. Ryan might be a mess, but she’ll never admit it. His reputation in the community is more important to her than getting him the help he needs.” I plead my case, hoping Ben won’t let me down. “You have to either get Ryan to go after his stepsister or scare Lauren into thinking that you’re going to reveal the truth about Ryan’s sexuality to the world. I’m afraid those are our only options.”

“I’ll think about it, all right?” Ben shifts into drive, turning the truck back onto the road. Apparently he’s had enough of our conversation.

“I’ll need an answer soon. The sooner—either you or Ryan approach Lauren—the better.” I’m firm, probably firmer than I should be. But Ivy’s life may hang in the balance.

If Lauren insists on Ivy’s involvement with the script going forward, it may very well kill her. And I’m not going to stand by and let that happen. Lauren’s a heartless bitch who left Ivy bleeding in my arms—not once, but twice. She needs to be taken down. Eric’s too busy watching over Ivy and running his business. So it’s up to me to do everything in my power to remove the target the Prices have on Ivy’s back—even if I have to get my hands dirty to do it.