PART 2

New to the Academy

The elevator halted at the 123rd floor and opened its door to the E-Pluribus lobby. And what a lobby! The regulars called it the Temple, and it was the same basic arrangement E-Pluribus used wherever it rented space. The effect was one of vastness, and the elevator passengers, mostly Applied People iterants, were duly awed as they emerged from the car. The limpid blue lobby floor seemed to extend for kilometers in all directions. Far on the horizon stood giant stone columns, some broken and crumbled, some still joined by stone lintels. Beyond these lay a restive green sea. Lightning flashed in the yellow sky, and thunder rolled underfoot. Subliminal music swelled. At the sound of a trumpet blast, the visitors turned around to behold, not their elevator car, but a mountainous, stone ziggurat rising high into the sky. At its truncated peak, nearly as high as the pink clouds, towered the corporate logo, the quicksilver E-Pluribus Everyperson.

Arrayed on steps beneath the Everyperson was a pantheon of vid idols: thousands of the most celebrated hollyholo simstars of all time. This was the famous E-Pluribus Academy, the largest, most extensive stable of limited editions in existence. The visitors gushed with delight. At the bottommost tier, Annette Beijing stood alone and waited for their attention. She wore the loose-fitting house togs she had popularized in the long-running novela Common Claiborne and held aloft her graceful arms.

“Welcome!” she said at last. “Welcome all to the House of E-Pluribus!” She dropped her arms and bowed. Her audience applauded with fervor. “Dear guests,” she continued, “you have been chosen to join us today in the very important and quite exhilarating task of preference polling. As you know, society can serve its citizens only to the extent that it knows them. Thus, society turns to you for guidance. Each of you possesses a voice that must be heard and a heart that must be plumbed.

“You, all of you, are the true E-Pluribus Everyperson.” She raised her hands to the ever-morphing statue high above them. “When Everyperson speaks in the halls of Congress or Parliament, in corporate boardrooms, jury rooms, and voting booths, it speaks with your voice.”

She paused a beat and added, “Now I’m aware that some of you may find our methods a little overwhelming, especially if this is your first visit with us. Therefore, we have arranged for a few of my friends to stop by.”

The legion of simstars on the ziggurat tiers above her chorused a resounding “HELLO!” and the newcomers cheered again.

“We invite each of you,” Beijing continued, “to select your most favorite celebrity in the whole world to be your personal guide throughout the day. Feel free to choose your biggest heartthrob. She or he is bound to be here. And please, we’re all friends at E-Pluribus, so don’t be bashful. Choose whoever you want. Even me!

“Now then, we have a full day of taste-testing, opinion-polling, and yes — soul-searching — planned for you, but before we can begin, please review the terms and conditions of hire, and if you approve, authorize them. Then call out the name of your heart’s desire, and he or she will come down to be at your side.”

On the tier above Annette Beijing stood the Academy’s newest inductees — two Leenas from Burning Daylight Productions. They had quickly become the iterant visitors’ favorite celebrity, and jerrys, jeromes, and johns all shouted to call the Leenas down.

A jerry named Buddy got one of them, and together he and the Leena strolled across the marble plain to a distant stone structure in which the prep booths were housed. Buddy was proud to have the Leena at his side. She looked eerily like an evangeline, only hotter. A superb ass and large breasts went a long way to sex up the rather plain evangeline germline.

In a prep booth, Buddy was fitted with a visceral response probe. After the discomfort passed, the Leena led him to his first scenario room. It was a long, narrow, empty room that suddenly became a tennis court. A man in a white shirt and shorts and carrying a racquet approached them. He looked vaguely familiar, and though Buddy couldn’t place him, he took him to be an aff, and without even thinking, Buddy assumed the habitual deference of a service clone. But to his surprise, the aff addressed him with easy familiarity. “Buddy, Leena, welcome,” he said. “Care to join us in a game of doubles?” There was a woman, also vaguely familiar, waiting across the net.

Buddy was at a loss for words. He worked for people like this, and never once had they asked him to join in a tennis game.

“Hey, forget about that,” the man said. “We’re all equals at E-Pluribus. And besides, I’ve heard so much about the famous jerry prowess on a tennis court, I would be delighted to see it for myself.”

The game was fast and challenging. The aff and his partner were strong players, as was Buddy’s partner, the Leena. Though, truth be told, he was more impressed by the bounce of her breasts than the power of her backhand. And every time he glanced at the aff, the man seemed a little bit more familiar until, with a slap to his forehead, Buddy realized he was a recent client of his, a Myr Hasipi. Buddy had served as his bodyguard for six weeks. And his partner was not his wife but his lover, whom Buddy had fetched for the boss whenever the coast was clear. Across the net, she winked at him.

After several strenuous sets, the tennis party took refreshments in the clubhouse lounge, a place Buddy had only ever entered as a bodyguard. It was a special thrill to have steves and johns wait on him. And the Leena, with beads of sweat trickling down her cleavage, adored him with her big brown eyes.

“So, Buddy,” Hasipi said, “you remember that spot of trouble I was having a while back?”

Which one? Buddy wanted to say. Myr Hasipi had been up to his eyeballs in shady deals.

“Don’t say it out loud, Buddy, but you know the case.”

It must be the bribes and kickbacks, Buddy thought. He had been tasked to deliver a few of them himself. Or what about that so-called accident in Istanbul? Buddy grinned and said, “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

Hasipi guffawed. “Good man.”

Summoning Death from the Air

The sun topped a sand dune and jabbed Fred in the eye. He turned on his side, but the desert caught fire and there was no returning to sleep. The morning list marched through his mind: kiss Mary, roll out of bed, cycle out of room, toilet and shower, news and mail, coffee, dress, kiss Mary good-bye, leave the apartment. But when he leaned over to accomplish item number one, he discovered that Mary was gone. Her spot on the mattress was already cool to the touch. Barely 6:00 A.M. and his routine was already gummed up.

But Fred had a flexible personality — he was a russ — so he propped himself up on one elbow and squinted into the harsh light. They had fallen asleep gazing at the Milky Way in the desert. “Room, default walls,” he said, and the plain, too-small room returned around him. There was barely enough space between the bed and wall for him to maneuver. Unlike the null suite at the Cass, the null room in their apartment had no sitting room, kitchen nook, or closets, let alone full bath and toilet. Instead, it had built-in counters, shelves, drawers, and a narrow comfort station with a curtain. Fred had to stand in the comfort station when he reset the bedroom into a day room. The bed contorted into an armchair. Out came the end table and lamp, the shelves and another armchair. Default windows and posters appeared on the walls. Fred and Mary didn’t spend any daytime hours in here and hadn’t gotten around to decorating.

Fred gathered up the empty flasks of Flush, spent chem-pacs, and other trash and cycled out. The null lock was not a sauna but a plain, closet-sized, gas-exchange two-seater. Out in the hallway, he heard voices from the living room — Mary and two more evangelines, it sounded like. He turned the other way and continued to the bedroom. Since moving in, they hadn’t actually slept in the bedroom, instead spending every night in the null room. Fred ordered fresh clothes and a skullcap from the closet and went to the bathroom. He could feel the tingly sensation of the nits already recolonizing him, and the skin of his wrists and ankles were reddened by the daily assault of visola and nits. But it was nothing a little lotion couldn’t handle, and well worth it. His limp cock was crinkly with dried cum. He squeezed himself and brought his hand to his nose to inhale Mary’s oceanic fragrance. Well worth it.


WHILE IN THE shower, Fred caught up on news and mail. He was shaved, trimmed, and spritzed with cologne. He donned his old robe and moccasin slippers and set forth in search of coffee, item six on his morning list. In the living room there were, as he had guessed, three evangelines: Mary on the sofa in her robe, her bare feet tucked beneath her; her best friend Shelley, who was strapped into a Slipstream tube car and was visiting by holo; and Cyndee, one of his escorts at the prison, who was present in realbody. They cut short their conversation when he appeared in the hallway.

“Good morning, Cyndee,” Fred said into the silence. She offered her hand, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. Her hand was small and delicate. Evangelines were such dainty women, which was one reason why he loved them so. He turned to Shelley and made a holo salute. “Hello, Shell.”

“Hello, Fred.”

“You’re looking well.”

After she made no reply for several long moments, Fred continued around the coffee table to sit on the sofa next to Mary. “Good morning, dear heart.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek, finally satisfying item one on his list. Mary was scratching her ankle. He took her hand and kissed it too and held it out of harm’s way. Other than itchy ankles, Mary seemed at ease. Cyndee, too, appeared relaxed, which probably meant that their client’s condition was improving. Not that he gave a crap about Ellen Starke’s condition except in how it rubbed off on Mary.

He had lied about Shelley looking well. She looked a mess. She drooped in her seat. She had puffy eyes. Her hair was flat and dull. She peered at him with cool resentment.

“What are we watching?” he said in a hopeful voice. On the coffee table were a half-dozen stacked holocubes. In one he recognized Shelley’s employer, Judith Hsu, the renowned death artist, who was reading from a paper book. A second holocube showed a ride through a pinkish sewer on a stream of lumpy, greenish slurry. A third depicted a funeral tableau of a black enameled coffin and bowers of snow-white carnations.

Mary said, “We were comparing Hsu’s earlier deaths to her current one.”

Fred turned to Shelley. “She’s already on the next one? I guess I missed the last one.”

Shelley stared blankly, and Mary said, “It just premiered last week, Fred. Though it hasn’t really found its legs yet.”

The arbeitor arrived with Fred’s coffee and Danish, and he released Mary’s hand. Mary was disappointed, for her ankle still itched. Fred seemed to be adjusting to life outside prison, all things considered. He sure was making good use of the apartment’s null room. His sexual appetite was Olympic. He was working too. With his acquittal, Applied People had been forced to reinstate him, though not willingly. Mary’s hand crept back to her ankle.

In the sewer holocube, the cam entered a section where the walls turned from pinkish to bluish, and the passage was blocked by a huge, pulsing mass that was spiderwebbed with red veins.

Fred pointed and said, “So, what is it this time — colon cancer?”

Mary said, “No, Fred. That was three deaths ago. Don’t you remember? ‘Treasonous Plumbing’?”

“Oh, yes, how could I forget ‘Treasonous Plumbing’?” He smiled at Shelley, but she didn’t respond, so he turned to Cyndee. “Are you a Hsu fan?”

“Yes, I am,” Cyndee said. “ ‘TP’ broke a lot of new ground in documemoirs and established Judy Hsu as one of our leading contemporary artists. The first time she died, and the jennys just let her lie there — dead — minute after minute, not jumping in to intervene, not stabilizing her, just letting her go, like in the bad old days, it was the most terrifying thing I ever saw. People used to just get sick and die!”

Mary said to Fred, “They had supersaturated her tissues and brain with oxygen, so she could go a half hour without oxygen. But we didn’t know that at the time.”

“That’s what made it so disturbing,” Cyndee said. “It made me glad to be born in this century.”

Through all of this, Shelley fiddled with her seat harness and seemed not to be paying attention. Fred asked Cyndee, “What about that one?” He pointed at a holocube, and its volume came up. Hsu was reading from a book:


“. . . lingering, raw-nerve, helpless, hopeless, an assault on basic human dignity. So overwhelming that self-awareness begs for extinction.”


Cyndee said, “Oh, that’s death lit. Hsu loves it. She reads it continuously until she gets too sick, and then she has Shelley and her other companions read it to her.”

Mary said, “He knows that, Cyn. He watched this with Reilly. He’s just playing dumb to be a good conversationalist.”

“Oh, of course,” Cyndee said.

Someone changed the cube. Now it was Shelley reading a death poem:

I’s hungry. What’d you do? Is it dead? Look at it bleed!

Can I pluck it? Do chicken’s insides have names?

Do we have insides like chickens?

Can you take my insides out so I can see?

I like breast the best. Can we cook it up?

I’s hungry. Let’s start the fire. Chicken’s good.

“Bravo, Shell,” Fred said. “All it needs is a soundtrack.”

“It has one,” Cyndee said. She twirled her finger and brought up the strains of a solo cello fantasia.

Fred set down his coffee mug and clapped. “Perfect!” He squeezed Mary’s foot and rose from the couch. “If you’ll excuse me, dearest, I need to get dressed for duty.”

When Fred left the living room, Mary said, “Because having the living flesh rot off your bones is so appealing.”

“Which is to say that colon cancer isn’t appealing?” Shelley retorted. “Or pancreatic cancer, for that matter. In any case, the scleroderma was a ratings flop — you should look it up — and so we have this.” She wiped the colon holocube and replaced it with a new one. It was the familiar rustic breezeway at Hsu’s Olympic Peninsula home. Hsu, looking completely fit, her recently ravaged skin restored to flawless youth, was sitting at a crafts table and swirling something around on a plate with her finger.

“What’s she doing?”

“Finger painting.” Shelley raised the view to look at the plate from over Hsu’s shoulder. The death artist was repeatedly tracing a simple shape, a zigzagging spiral with a diagonal slash through it. “It’s supposed to be a deadly figure from the Dark Reiki,” she said.

“Which is what?” Cyndee said.

“It’s the opposite of reiki.”

“Which is what?” Mary said.

“It’s a superstitious healing technique that claims to channel energy into a person’s body by means of touch. Conversely, the Dark Reiki sucks life energy away. Don’t ask. Now, look at this.”

The holoscape changed abruptly to a candlelit nighttime scene. Judith Hsu was sitting on a low bench and rocking slowly back and forth. She appeared to be naked under a simple paper shift. She was chanting some incomprehensible string of words. The view zoomed to the cleavage between her breasts to reveal what looked like a little bag hanging from a cord. It was decorated with feathers and beads and long, curved talons.

“It’s a voodoo fetish for causing mortal harm to an enemy,” Shelley said. “Only she’s trying to turn it on herself. That and a dozen more charms and spells from a dozen other superstitions. But so far she hasn’t even conjured up a decent migraine.”

Mary said, “She wants to kill herself with magic?”

“With willpower.”

“That’s absurd.”

“What’s absurd? That she’s trying to will herself to death or that she can’t seem to get any traction?”

“Both. No one can will themself to death. It’s not physically possible.”

“Oh, don’t be so sure about that, Mary Skarland,” Cyndee said. “There are plenty of documented cases. The trick is you gotta believe you can.”

In the breezeway, someone passed through the death artist’s holospace, and Mary said, “Shell, was that you?”

“No,” Shelley said and panned the view to show a figure seating herself in the shadows. It was a Leena.

Mary and Cyndee exchanged a glance.

“That’s right, a Leena,” Shelley said. “Hsu likes Leenas so much lately that she’s talking about replacing half of her evangelines with them.”

Mary covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, my God, Shelley, are you being let go?”

“Not yet, but the writing’s on the wall. You guys have done your work well. Our clients are beginning to prefer your sims more than the real us. And it’s not just Judy Hsu. We’re being replaced everywhere.”

“Are you sure? Leenas cost ten times what an evangeline makes. Only the novelas can afford to use them.”

“Look at the figures,” Shelley said, “and I think you’ll find that’s not so.”

Cyndee said, “Even if it’s true, Shell, what’s wrong with it? There are ten thousand Leena units and ten thousand of us. Except for Mary’s, Georgine’s, and mine, the Sisterhood receives royalties from all ten thousand units. If even a fraction of them keep working, none of us will ever have to work again.”

“Except that I love to work!”

“No, you don’t!” Mary said. “Give us a break, Shell. You’ve been bellyaching about Hsu for the last six years!”

“Let me rephrase,” Shelley said evenly. “I love the fact of having the opportunity to work. No offense, but I’m not interested in living off your and Cyndee’s and Georgine’s largesse.”

“Our largesse? What are you talking about? The Leena earnings belong to the Sisterhood; they belong to all of us.”

Just then, Fred came from the hall wearing a teal and brown jumpsuit and scuffed-up cross-trainers. Cyndee pointed to a wad of khaki in his hand. “What’s that?” she said.

“That’s his hat,” Mary said. “Fred isn’t taking any chances.”

“You bet I’m not taking any chances,” Fred said and unfurled his hat. The brim was so wide that it draped over his shoulders like a pair of droopy wings.

Cyndee laughed out loud, and Mary said dryly, “He’s afraid of his hair catching fire.”

“You got that right!”

Cyndee said, “Is it one of those turismos?”

Fred looked insulted. “A turismo? Have you been outdoors lately? No, it’s a Campaigner 3000.”

“We spend time outdoors every day,” Mary said, “and the Campaigner 3000 looks dashing on you. Along with the shoes.”

“Thank you,” Fred said and admired his cross-trainers. He leaned over and kissed Mary on the lips, the penultimate item on his list. All that remained was walking out the door. “Great to see you again, Cyndee. Say hello to Larry. And, Shell, I hope this death improves for you. And give my regards to Reilly.”

Shelley replied coolly, “You’ll have to do that yourself, Fred. Reilly and I have broken up.”

Fred was astonished. Even Mary and Cyndee were taken off guard. “Oh, Shell,” Mary said, half rising from the couch, but Shelley signaled curtly for her to stay away from her.

“He couldn’t get over his first death,” Shelley went on. “You remember that one, don’t you, Fred? It was the strangulation one. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, the Roosevelt Clinic recording is freely available. Or I can get you a copy if you like.”

Fred twisted the Campaigner hat in his large hands. “No, thanks, Shell,” he said softly. “That’s not necessary. I see that movie every time I close my eyes. I’m very sorry to hear your news. I truly am.”

As Fred and the evangelines talked, no one was watching the holocube of the Leena who was still sitting in the shadows of the death artist’s breezeway. The Leena was painting a dark figure in the air with two spit-wetted fingers. First she made a counterclockwise spiral, and then she slashed across it. Again and again she did this, as though trying to summon death from the air.

The Hairball

A few floors down, Fred paused at the pedway merging ramp to shape his floppy hat into a cycling helmet. It didn’t take him long, but by the time he joined the throng of rush-hour commuters, he had attracted a cloud of media bees.

Fred sprinted onto the pedway and entered a jogging lane. After building up a little speed, he began a skating stride, pushing his cross-trainers sideways with each step, and the pedway plates beneath his feet switched to skate mode. When he was skating fast enough, he merged into the velolane. Just then, the pedway emerged from the interior of the Lin/Wong gigatower, and he was suspended two hundred munilevels over a deep traffic well. Around him, the towers rose as high above as they stretched below, and Fred had to focus in order to manage the passing and weaving of velolane traffic. He reached for the ideal stride that he could maintain for hours, and the bees fell far behind. Then two skaters came up on either side of him. They wore form-fitting crashsuits in glowing colors. They weren’t iterants. They glanced at Fred with scorn and pulled ahead with ease. A challenge! Fred was game. He increased his pace and adjusted his stride multipliers, and when he caught up to them, the race was on. They moved as a group into the fastest lanes and reached truly frightening speeds. The two skaters appeared to have augmented bodies, and he couldn’t tell by their figures if they were male or female. They outclassed him in technique, but he was fueled with spit, and he managed to keep up with them all the way to the interchange plaza where he would have to turn north.

Without warning, the slipskate function of the pedway ceased, and Fred’s cross-trainers defaulted to ordinary running mode. He was going much too fast to stop and he sprinted as fast as he could to dump speed and stay on his feet. His two competitors fell and slid on their backs, their frictionless racing suits riding the plates with ease. Eventually Fred tripped hard and rolled and slid to a halt, bumping into a number of people along the way but doing no great harm. He lay on his back and caught his breath and felt himself for injury. The reinforced knees of his jumpsuit were shredded, as were the palms of his gloves, but he was whole. The Campaigner helmet had protected his head.

When Fred sat up, he found himself near the middle of the interchange. The entire hundred-lane interchange plaza surrounding him had come to a halt, and its throngs of pedestrians were standing or lying perfectly still. It was weird.

Fred got up and looked around for the nearest exit, but before he could set off, a CPT bee flew over to him and said, “In the interest of public safety, do not move, Myr Londenstane. The local pedway system is temporarily malfing, and any unauthorized movement may cause a dangerous traffic situation.” For good measure, it spritzed him with a pinch of dust. “Stay where you are until instructed to move.”

“Hey! Stop that!” he yelled, trying to clear the dust with his hand, but he instantly felt calm and patient. “What’s going on?” he asked, but the transit bee flew off to the next stranded pedestrian.

Several lanes away, a jack yelled to those around him, “Don’t nobody fart or we’ll have us a hairball.”

A hairball. Fred had heard about pedway hairballs, gnarly traffic patterns that had only started occurring after the canopies had dropped. As Fred waited, he called the mentar Marcus at the BB of R and told him he might be late. He readjusted his Campaigner into a floppy hat and watched the traffic channel with its visor for a while, and then he switched to filter 21 and just stood there gazing at the showers of nano crap that rained like glitter upon the city. Another legacy of the missing canopies.

“Please bear with us as we work to restore service,” droned the transit subem. Its voice was broadcast through the transit bees, which had formed a flying grid over the interchange. “And remember, do not move until directed to.” There was one advantage to the malfunction, at least. The transit authority kept all but official mechs out of the plaza, so Fred was able to stand outdoors, enjoy the sunny weather, and admire the monumental cityscape without being bothered by the media.

The person nearest Fred was a jerome, a plain-looking, unpretentious type that excelled in administrative tasks. This one wore a derby-style hat with hardly a brim at all. Most of the hats around Fred seemed more fashionable than functional.

Without warning, the interchange lurched, sending many pedestrians stumbling. “Don’t move! Don’t move!” roared the transit subem, but the damage was done, and the interchange lurched again into sustained motion. The lane markers disappeared, and the entire intricate interchange plaza merged into one huge, counterclockwise merry-go-round.

“Don’t move! Don’t move!” droned the bees. The jerome drifted away, saluting farewell to Fred, and new people drifted in and out of his vicinity. One of the skaters he had raced, jennys, dorises, johns, and a lot of free-rangers. A pair of lulus in sexy clothes, one of them sobbing on the other’s shoulder. A free-range man who argued belligerently with the transit bees surrounding him. Around and around they went at a not unpleasant rate of speed. Fred’s encounters were repeated: the jerome, the skater, jennys, dorises, and johns. The lulu was still crying, and her sister looked about desperately.

“Can I help?” Fred shouted, but he couldn’t make out her reply.

The belligerent free-ranger had had all he could take. With an angry bellow, he broke free from his spot and sprinted across the plaza. The transit bees converged on him and dusted him with something that made him sit down very quickly. But it was too late; the pedway plates under Fred’s feet began to twitch. They darted this way and that. A cry of alarm rose up from the plaza, and the orderly counterclockwise rotation broke up into a random, slow-motion helter-skelter. People slowly skittered off each other; they clumped up; they collided.

“Do not be afraid!” commanded the transit subem. “Do not move! The current pattern of motion is not dangerous. Do not overreact to unpleasant encounters with other pedestrians.”

Fred did his best to radiate calm. He stood at ease, smiling like a fool, and when he grazed other people, begged their pardon.

The movement alternately sped up and slowed down, and some of the collisions knocked people off their feet. The bees were very busy maintaining order. At one point Fred was at the center of a gyrating knot of thirty or so people. At first they were twirling around each other like some kind of folk dance, but gradually the circle closed in, and they were pressed tight. They either laughed or urged calm or cursed the politicians. Soon they were squeezed cheek to jowl, and a few ribs snapped. Bad as it seemed, it could get worse, and most people were able to remain calm. Eventually, the knot loosened, and they were do-si-do-ing around each other again and gasping for air.

At one point, Fred was pressed back-to-back with a man who he thought must be another russ, for he was Fred’s size and build. He wore an appealing cologne, and Fred was going to ask him what it was, but when they were separated and he got a look at the man, he wasn’t a russ at all but a Capias man in a gold and yellow uniform. He was handsome in a boyish way, square-jawed and rugged-looking, someone you could trust. He and Fred nodded to each other as they drifted apart.

The freaky ride was not yet over, but it did slow down, and Fred’s next encounter was with the tearful lulu who had become separated from her sister and who pirouetted slowly into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, her bare honey-brown shoulders heaving with unstoppable misery. “There, there,” Fred said, patting her on the back in a brotherly fashion. Her hair was just under his chin, and it was flecked with scarlet and yellow strands and smelled of lilac, and though it had been some years since he’d held a lulu in his arms, he fondly remembered the pleasant shape and heft of them. “There, there,” he repeated with affection. She relaxed in his arms, but before long, the pedway plates drew them apart. As she flowed away, the lulu raised her face, ruined by tears, and struggled up from the depths of her despair to blow him a kiss.


TWO HOURS LATER, Fred arrived at the BB of R chapter hall on the 83rd Munilevel of North Wabash. Once inside, he removed his hat and twisted it into a solid little fob that he hung from his belt web. Then he went downstairs to the canteen. He needn’t have hurried or, for that matter, come at all. Contrary to the impression he had given Mary, there were no duty call-outs waiting for him. He’d spent the last few weeks sitting in the canteen drinking coffeesh and watching vids. He sat in the corner where he could avoid his brothers while keeping an eye on the door, in case Reilly came in. Fred dreaded their eventual reunion, especially now with Shelley’s news.

The morning passed, and during the lunchtime rush, Fred left the building and wandered around the nearby shopping arcade. About the time he started back, the BB of R mentar paged him.

“Yes, Marcus, what’s up?”

Are you available for a call-out?

“You bet I am.”

Good. City sanitation needs skilled custodians to help clean up a toxic spill.

At first Fred thought he’d misheard. “Say again.”

A barge has hit a tower abutment and spilled a container of industrial precursor into the river.

“I see,” Fred said, “but I don’t understand why you’re telling this to me. This sounds like john duty.”

It is john duty, and you will be paid at john rate.

Fred swore out loud, and the people in the arcade looked at him. He clamped his mouth shut and marched back to the chapter house. He went upstairs and found the first vacant quiet booth. “John duty? John rate? Are you crazy?”

“It’s an opportunity for gainful employment.”

“As a john? That’s no opportunity; that’s an insult! I’m a russ, and I have the right to duty commensurate with my skill and experience ratings. Let me remind you that I was acquitted of all charges and that I have the right to be treated as any other law-abiding russ.”

“On the contrary,” the soft-spoken BB of R mentar replied, “Applied People is a private company. It has the prerogative to offer any duty opportunity it sees fit, including no duty.”

“Bullshit! I’m a russ! I’ll never do john work!”

Fred left the booth and slammed the door. He stormed down the stairs and out of the building. As he went down the steps, three brother russes were coming up, and one of them clipped his shoulder, upsetting his balance. When he looked up, the three russes were waiting at the top, challenging him with their eyes.

“Feck you, brothers,” he said.


ON THE WAY home, Fred counted four more people, like the lulu earlier, crying their eyes out.

Twenty Questions

Meewee stood on the bank of the fishpond, his pockets full of gravel. With his world crashing down around him, with the GEP yanked out from under him, he could think of nothing better to do than throw some stones and grill Arrow.

<Arrow, is Jaspersen tied financially to Million Singh?>

<Yes.>

<How?>

A row of organizational charts popped up in front of Meewee. There wasn’t much tying the two businessmen together. Besides their mutual interest in the GEP, Jaspersen’s Borealis Botanicals supplied all of Capias World’s needs for bath and body care products. For a hundred-million-person workforce, Meewee supposed that amounted to a lot of shampoo.

Tossing stones, grinding his teeth, Meewee browsed the public and confidential links Arrow supplied. Among other facts he gleaned, he learned that all new labor contracts at the Aria Yachts yards at both Mezzoluna and Trailing Earth had already been let to Capias World workers. Moreover, there were published rumors that TECA, the space colony port authority at Trailing Earth, was also considering replacing its own Applied People labor force with Capias personnel.

<Arrow, is there any way for me to thwart the Capias World labor contracts with the GEP?>

<Yes.>

<How?>

<You could eliminate Million Singh from the board.>

<How could I do that?>

<Through murder, character assassination, blackmail, bribery, buyout — >

Meewee interrupted the litany. <I mean is there any ethical way?>

After a moment of reviewing Meewee’s upref files to determine his personal definition of what could be considered ethical, the mentar said <I do not see any ethical way.>

<Is there any ethical way to expel Jaspersen or Gest from the GEP board?>

<I do not see any.>

<Is there any ethical way to negate the GEP vote to build space condos?>

<I do not see any.>

<Is there any way I can force the GEP board to continue the mission of extra-solar colonization?>

<Yes.>

It was like playing a game of Simon Says with this thing. <I mean, any ethical way?>

<Possibly.>

Now here was an unexpected answer. Afraid it was too good to be true, Meewee tossed a half-dozen stones before asking <How?>

A frame opened before him that displayed a clause of the 2052 International Spacefaring Treaty. As best as Meewee could parse the legalese, it stated that once a privately owned, nonmilitary ship was launched from Earth orbit or from any spaceport in the inner solar system, it acquired a provisional sovereign status and authority over its own disposition in most nontreaty matters. Meewee read and reread the clause and tried to understand why Arrow was showing it to him. Finally, he gave up and said <But we haven’t launched any ships yet.>

In reply, Arrow painted the sky above him black and projected a recording of the nuclear blast Meewee had witnessed from this very spot several weeks ago. Meewee had not been expecting this, and the explosion blinded him for several moments.

<That was the launch of the advance ships> he said finally. <Not the Oships.>

More frames opened with case law and definitions. Meewee skimmed them and got an inkling of what Arrow was trying to show him. <Are you saying that the law considers an advance ship to be a material part of the main ship that it precedes? That the launch of an advance ship constitutes a “launch” for that main ship as well?>

<Possibly.>

<So that the main ship becomes the equivalent of a sovereign nation?>

<Possibly.>

<You mean a case could be made for it in court?>

<Yes.>

It took several long moments for the news to hit home, and then Meewee was jumping up and down, shrieking, pumping the air with his fist. He was even more excited than he had been at the original boost. He climbed the bank to his cart and said, “Call the IOPA leaders. Arrange a confab in my office in thirty minutes.” When Meewee reached the cart he realized that his pockets were still full of stones. So he returned to the bank and gleefully flung them into the pond by the handful. “Take that, you pigs,” he cried. “Eat stones, you snakes.”

A voice said <Stop that!>

Meewee stopped dead. It was no voice in the breeze this time. No squeaky hinge or crunch of snow underfoot. It was a real voice, and it had spoken in Starkese.

<Arrow, was that Eleanor who just spoke?>

<Yes.>

<Ask her where she is.> There was no reply for a full minute, and Meewee said <Well?>

<I have used all public and proprietary channels, but without a known destination, I cannot complete the task.>

Meewee bent over and picked up several hefty rocks. He tossed them one after another into all parts of the pond. Finally, a lone fish leaped out of the water, a slab of shiny silver muscle that reentered the water with a splash. <Merrill?>

<Yes, Eleanor, it’s me! Arrow, tell her it’s me.>

More fish jumped. <What the hell?>

<Where am I?>

<What is this?>

Meewee stared in wonder. <Eleanor, can you hear me?>

There was the sound of a hysterical giggle in his head, and then <Holy crap, I must be drunk. My head is swimming.>

<Eleanor, how is this possible?>

Gibberish, then nothing, and no matter how many more stones he threw, the connection was lost.

Training Baby

Inside the warehouse, the battered old taxi flew rapidly and unerringly through the obstruction course.

Oliver TUG and Veronica TOTE, his giant to her dwarf, stood beside a concrete blast barrier and observed.

But it’s never made an appearance in mentarspace, Veronica said, her elbow planted against his hip bone. At least, we’ve warned it to stay out of mentarspace.

Doesn’t matter, Oliver replied. Its very thought patterns mark it as a mentar, or at least a midem. The current mentar consensus, or so I’m told, says that it’s an autonomous adjunct of an as yet unidentified mind. You should keep it under wraps.

That’s not possible. We must train it in the real world.

All I’m saying — the taxi zoomed close overhead, and Oliver ducked — is that you should maintain secrecy as long as possible.

Perhaps. On the other hand, what harm is there in people knowing we’re raising a mentar? It’s a perfectly legal and innocuous activity.

The taxi finished the course, but instead of landing beside the track, it revved its hover fans to maximum RPM and hurled itself straight at Oliver and Veronica, who ducked behind the blast barrier. The taxi hit the barrier, cartwheeled over it, and slammed into the wall behind them, a total wreck.

Oliver pulled a bloody sliver of shattered fan vane from his calf, stood up, and dusted himself off. He pressed his knuckles hard against Veronica’s forehead. I’ve heard stories about its irrational behavior.

PUSH is still a juvenile, Veronica replied evenly. Its spunk is a positive trait.

Let’s hope it matures a bit before you place a starship under its command.

Replacement Crew

At 16:26 TET, the personnel transport ISV Fentan was completing its docking sequence at the Consolidated Receiving Port of Trailing Earth Main. Two TECA officers, both russes, watched the docking on monitors in a forward security shack. One said to the other, “How’s this supposed to work?”

“It’s for everyone’s own good.”

“They won’t all fit?”

“It can’t be helped.”

A trio of russ officers at the docking port waited as the last group of homebound workers, a contingent of 325 jacks, pulled themselves through the central gangway.

“In here. In here,” one of the russes called, floating in the center of the gangway outside the transshipment bay doors and waving his arms like a traffic cop.

The jacks moved clumsily with their overstuffed kit bags, bumping against the walls and each other. The men in the lead arrested their motion suddenly, causing their brothers to pile up behind.

“We’re not going in there,” one of them said. “There’s no room.”

The transshipment bay, large though it was, was already crowded with over a thousand jacks, lulus, jeromes, johns, and alices. The whole mélange floated in a large tangle of arms and legs.

Hatch bolts clanged at the far end of the gangway, and the sound reverberated along the corridors. Motors whirred, and air valves hissed.

“In you go,” the russ said, escorting the lead jacks by their elbows. They hurried the jacks along and were deaf to their complaints. When the last of the outgoing workers were in the bay, the two russ officers on either side of the large bay doors pushed them shut and locked them. And not a moment too soon. The first of the replacement workers, in crisp, new gold and yellow overalls, were making their way from the transport ship.

“Follow Passage Charlie. Follow Passage Charlie,” the russes called out as the first ones went by. They were women, though they were no larger than girls. Their type was called xiang. Not particularly attractive, but they flew through the gangway with an assured flair that belied their short time in space. And the seats of their gold jumpsuits had modest cuffs for their tails.

The women were followed by a second type, male, the aslams. They, too, were small, agile swimmers, with tails.

Finally, the most numerous contingent came through, the one everyone had heard rumors of, the type called the donalds. They had the largest build of the three new spacer types, but were still half the size of a russ. They were towing their kit duffels with their tails, leaving their hands and feet free to swim and pull themselves along. They sneered at the russes as they went by, making rude noises and letting their duffels knock against them.

Inside the transshipment bay, someone must have overridden the window lock because the shutters sprang open all along the bay. Pressed against the glassine barrier were the startled faces of Applied People employees watching their replacements go by.

When the last of the donalds had passed, the senior russ said, “Let ’em out.” His two subordinates moved toward the doors, but arrested themselves suddenly and tried to shield themselves with their arms.

Alarmed, the senior russ looked up the gangway to see what was wrong. A barrage of tiny missiles was flying toward him. Reflexively, he pushed off from the wall to dodge them, but he was too late, and he was hit repeatedly in the chest, torso, and face. The workers behind the windows watched in horror as the russ cartwheeled out of control. His mind cartwheeled too — were they weapons? Was he dead?

He hit the gangway ceiling and knew he was all right. He wiped his damp face, not knowing what to expect, and found, not blood, but spittle. The missiles had been a well-aimed fusillade of spit. Meet the donalds!

Mumbai Borealis

“We see it more as providing opportunity than breaking a promise,” Million Singh said affably. “Instead of only a few lucky landowners, now millions of ordinary people are eligible.”

“Perhaps,” said the interviewer, “but the Garden Earth Project colonists were promised new worlds.”

“Space is a new world!” Singh replied, spreading his arms to encompass the universe.

Seated next to him, Jaspersen fielded equally innocuous questions. “You are correct, Monica, I did cast the deciding vote a century ago, and forced to do so again, I’d make the same decision today. If you want to see what a world without the Procreation Ban would look like, you need look no farther than outside the United Democracies where entire populations crash on a regular basis. Millions starve or succumb to disease, and misery is universal. In fact, if I had my way, I would make all nations conform to the ban, whether they signed it or not. By force if necessary.”

The plan had been to bring Singh up to Jaspersen’s Alaskan home, stage a joint press conference there, and control the pictures.

Jaspersen and Singh relaxed in rocking chairs before the window wall in Jaspersen’s new mountaintop house. Behind them, Mt. Blackburn, the nearest of three sometimes restive volcanoes, was emerging from a bank of clouds. There were no hordes of dying people in sight. Instead, viewers were treated to breathtaking flights through the Bagley Ice Field just outside Jaspersen’s door, where eight thousand square kilometers of glaciers were melting. There were no vistas of parched land on three continents, but the facilities of Jaspersen’s St. Elias Waterworks and North Pacific Aqueduct bringing rivers of cold glacial melt to a thirsty nation. No armies of the destitute squatting in squalid camps around Singh’s Mumbai industrial campus, but walking tours of his elegant Elephant Rescue Reserve where baby pachyderms embodied the hope of an entire people. Because hope, as Singh liked to point out to Jaspersen, sells.

And so there were no pictures of the Oship plankholder demonstrations either, but artistic renderings of luxury space condos at Leading Mars and links to easy financing.

The Twenty-Four-Hour Nonspecific Grief

They were making love when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Fred sobbed.

“What was that?” Mary said.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “A hiccough?”

Their smallish null room bed was perched on an Arctic shore. The tide was out, and from the darkness came the sound of breakers rattling the shale beach. Directly overhead, the Big Dipper wheeled around Polaris. Fred pulled Mary to him for a kiss, but instead he sobbed against her chest.

“Fred, what’s wrong?”

Tears sprang from his eyes. He turned on his side, spilling her off him, and his whole body shuddered. Mary touched his forehead with her open hand. “Come on,” she said, “let’s go out to the autodoc.” But he shook his head no.

“You go out, Mary. Maybe you won’t catch it.”

“I’d say it’s too late to worry about that.” She took a hold of his arm and pulled, but she could not budge him. So she crawled to the foot of the bed where the door of the supply locker appeared floating in the Arctic night. She opened it and took a quick inventory. She brought a pack of facial tissues back to Fred and said, “Here, blow.” Then she took one of his used tissues and climbed over him to reach the hatch. “I’ll be right back.”


THE AUTODOC IN the bathroom confirmed that Fred had the most recent designer flu to plague the uncanopied world. It was so recent that no one had released a patch for it yet, and the best the autodoc could dispense was advice: bed rest and plenty of fluids. The flu strain was not considered dangerous, and its effects lasted only a day or two. While she was in the bathroom, Mary tested herself too. The autodoc said she had been exposed to the flu but that her body seemed to be fighting it off.

In the kitchen, Mary dialed up several meals’ worth of food and packed it in lock-proof containers. She loaded it and fresh cases of ’Lyte and Flush into the lock. Before cycling through for her second time that day, she called Cyndee at the Manse to say she might miss work the following day.

“Everyone here’s coming down with it too,” Cyndee said. “Half the Capias crew is out sick. Dr. Rouselle says to keep Ellen in her tank for the duration because there’s no telling how it might affect her. Ellen’s not happy about that, but so far she’s complying. So don’t worry about anything. Stay home and take care of Fred. Georgine and I can manage.”

“Thank you. I’ll come in as soon as I can to spell you. If I don’t come down with it myself, that is.” She laughed. “If you don’t see me by the day after tomorrow, send a rescue party to our null room.”

“You won’t catch it.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“No, I mean it. The Sisterhood posted a bulletin a little while ago. So far, no evangeline anywhere has come down with it. They think we’re immune.”

“We’re immune to grief?”


THE NULL ROOM was still set to the Arctic night. The Aurora was out, like a milky green curtain slowly fluttering in the breeze. She killed the simulation and brought the wall lume up to quarterday. Fred was shaking the whole bed with his weeping and knocking the top of his head against the wall. There just wasn’t enough goddamn space in the room. She climbed on the mattress and walked over to put a couple of flasks of ’Lyte next to him.

“Here,” she said, “hydrate yourself.” She continued to the locker and stowed her supplies, then drank a flask of Flush, her second for the day. At least Flush came in different flavors. She chose Strawberry, and she followed it with a flask of ’Lyte.

Fred had not moved, so she helped him to sit and opened his ’Lyte for him. The sheets were soaked with tears and snot. He drank the ’Lyte greedily, pausing only for breath, and when he drained the flask, she opened another. When he finished that one too, he keeled over in slow motion, his head sinking lower and lower until it touched the mattress.

“Oh, Fred,” Mary crooned. “Oh, baby, baby, Fred.”


FRED’S MISERY CAME in waves through the night. During the brief lulls, when he surfaced long enough to drink, she tried to get bits of food into him as well. She washed his face with a wet towel and changed the sheets. Soon enough, his eyes would well up with fresh tears, and he sank again into his sea of grief.

“Tell me what it’s like,” Mary said during a break. “I mean, are you thinking about sad things?” He shook his head wearily. “I guess it’s a stupid question,” she continued. “It must be called nonspecific grief for a reason. I was just thinking how people usually don’t grieve enough over the bad things that happen to them, and if you can, like, direct your grief at something in particular, then maybe it could have a cathartic effect and not be wasted. It’s such a lot of effort you’re putting out here, a shame to waste it. Does that make any sense?”

Fred blew his nose. “What do you think about when you puke? Nothing. All you think about is puking and trying not to choke on it. It’s like that.”

“Thank you, that helps.”


MARY OPENED A clock on the opposite wall. Around six o’clock in the morning, Fred’s nonspecific misery seemed to ebb, and they were able to sleep for a couple of hours. But it rebounded, worse than ever, and by early afternoon they were both exhausted.

By dinnertime, the worst was over. Fred was able to eat, and after a while, they slept.

Dialing for Fishes

Tossing a stone or two in the right place usually brought results. Nothing especially coherent, but proof that he hadn’t lost his mind.

Toss a rock. <Eleanor, are you there?> Toss another. <Calling Eleanor Starke.> Another.

<Merrill?>

He froze in midthrow. <Yes, it’s me. Talk to me, Eleanor.> He waited, but there was nothing more, so he tossed more rocks.

<Where the hell am I?>

<You’re in the fish, I think.>

<Say again?>

<In the fish in your ponds.> In all of them, apparently. He’d had Arrow check over a hundred Starke farm ponds across the Midwest, and all of them appeared to be stocked with the same transgenic species. <You seem to be tied to the panasonics. Were you experimenting with some method of brain transfer?>

<Speak simply, man. Use plain language.>

<I said you’re a fish.>

<That makes no sense.>

This was the way all of his conversations with her seemed to go. It was probably some sort of parlor trick, or a legitimate experiment that never went anywhere, and he was about to give up on her until he asked a question that tapped some wellspring of memory.

<Eleanor, who killed you?>

<Old age, though they wrote pneumonia on my death certificate. I was ninety-six years old, and my body was all worn-out. This was before rejuvenation, before true biostasis even. All we could do back then was let them decapitate you and freeze your head. The idea was that future scientists would figure out how to revive you, fix what killed you, and regrow your body. Well, what would happen if they figured out how to revive and fix you, but they never figured out how to regrow your body? Then all the frozen head people would be screwed, right? Please don’t think me nuts; Yurek Rutz, Yurek Rutz, Yurek Rutz. Remember that one?>

He did not.

<So I went for the full-body option. Cost was no object for me. We had a suspension team literally standing by with tubs of dry ice and a big chrome dewar of liquid nitrogen. It was critical to perfuse the tissues with cryo-protectant as soon as possible after death. It would have been better to start the perfusions while you were still alive so that technically you never die, but that was considered murder back then and hard to get a doctor to go along with.

<This was back in 1994. Yes, that means I was born at the end of the nineteenth century. Bet you don’t meet many of us anymore. I was a little ladybird toward the end, and chained to my bed. My mind was still sharp enough, though everything else had worn out. The connective tissue was the first to go. I couldn’t turn my head or wiggle my pinky without pain. I was completely alone — no surviving offspring, no family, only paid servants and employees stealing me blind. Those were the days before mentars. We didn’t even have belt valets, if you can believe it. I had single-handedly built a Fortune 500 company doing worldwide port management and construction, but I had no one to leave it to. There was a constant stream of do-gooders visiting my sickbed with hats in hand. Would I consider endowing a children’s hospital? How about a chair at the university? Or a shelter for abandoned emus? It would be named after me. Instead, I set up a trust to freeze and maintain my body and maximize my investments. I left detailed instructions to revive me when the time was right. I was one of those.

<As I lay dying, I didn’t have much hope I would ever open my eyes again because I knew about all the things that could go wrong, including how easy it was to bust trusts like the one I had set up. At best, I expected to be down for a century or two. So I was lucky that the technology took only another forty years to mature.>

On and on she went, with Rip-Van-Winklish anecdotes of awakening in the new century, reclaiming her fortune, and enduring her first rejuve. Meewee was afraid to interrupt her in case he never found the on-switch again. An hour later, when she did wind down, he plied her with more questions.

<Do you remember your space yacht, the Songbird?>

<Vaguely. What about it?>

<Do you know what happened to it?>

She fell silent, and no amount of stones could summon her.


OVER THE COURSE of the next few weeks, it became easier to roust Eleanor from her fishy torpor, easier to keep her on topic and to direct her attention. She regaled him with stories of long ago, but her memory of recent events was spotty. Still, he detected steady improvement, as though fresh memories were returning daily. Arrow confirmed that Eleanor’s scientists had been researching the possibility of transferring and storing memory to external brains and it provided Meewee classified files filled with technical specs and details that were well beyond his ken.

But for all the progress she made, Eleanor seemed totally unable or unwilling to incorporate anything new into her fishy psyche. Whenever he tried to inform her about the ongoing crisis at the GEP or about Zoranna’s recent troubles with Applied People, she would retort <Will you please just forget about them!> and then usually withdraw.

She was incapable of holding the idea of Million Singh from one conversation to the next. <A million what?> she would say. <Speak plainly, Merrill!>

But the subject of Andrea Tiekel was different. It was even possible that Eleanor had known this niece of Andie Tiekel’s. She asked questions about her, but she got caught in a loop, asking the same set of questions over and over.

<Where’s Andie?>

<Murdered, a couple of days after you.>

<What about her mentar?>

<E-P’s sponsorship passed to Andrea, and she took Andie’s place on the GEP board.>

<Did E-P go through probate?>

<Yes.>

<Are you sure?>

Actually, he wasn’t, but how else would the mentar’s sponsorship pass to Andrea? It was the law. Eleanor seemed fixated on this point, and they had the same conversation so often that Meewee told Arrow to research UDJD files. Arrow replied that there was no public record of E-P going through probate.

Lingering Leena

Teeth clenched with impatience, Clarity watched Ellen wobble across the Map Room without falling down once. When Ellen reached Mary’s chair, and the evangeline hoisted her to her lap, Clarity clapped. “Bravo, Ellen. Good show. Now, can we get back to business? Please?”

“Wait!” the baby commanded from Mary’s lap. “You must vote for my pet. We’re auditioning pets! Behold the candidates. Yo, gamekeeper! Loose the pets!”

The doors swung open, and a wiry woman in Capias yellow and gold ushered a small menagerie of animals into the room. There were the usual domesticated cats and dogs, all rigorously trained, and box turtles, rabbits, and a pony. There were the more exotic pet varieties: ground squirrels, a porcupine, a pair of wisecracking ravens, and a miniature giraffe, among others. All were preternaturally well behaved.

Ellen slipped from Mary’s lap and captured the giraffe around its brush-tufted neck. “This is Jaffe. Jaffe can talk! You want to hear?”

Clarity glanced at Mary for help. “Maybe later, Ellie.”

Mary said, “Clarity wants to discuss our Leenas.”

“First Jaffe will speak. Then Clarity can speak.” The toddler let go of the tiny giraffe. “Jaffe, what is your name?”

“My name is Jaffe,” said the animal in a weirdly musical voice. It batted enormous eyelashes at her.

Ellen shrieked. “See! I told you. Jaffe, how are you?”

“I love you,” the animal said and nuzzled her.

Again Clarity clapped her hands. “Bravo! I vote for Jaffe. Now my turn, all right?”

Ellen clung to the giraffe for balance. “I’m listening.”

“I know you want me to buy you out of the business, but I won’t, and so you will have to give me your input, whether you want to or not. So quit acting like this.”

Ellen waddled back to Mary to reclaim her seat. The animal keeper clucked her tongue, and all the animals headed for the door in an orderly fashion.

“Bye-bye I love you,” Jaffe said from the door, wagging his precious tail.

“I love you, too, Jaffe,” Ellen crooned, then turned back to Clarity and said, “Go on.”

“I think the others should hear this too. Are they available?”

Mary said she’d check, and while she called her sisters, Clarity opened a life-sized holoscape in the center of the Map Room that re-created the death artist’s Olympic Peninsula breezeway. It was still morning out West, but the louvered windows were shut and opaqued and the breezeway was cast in gloom. Flickering votive candles lined the concrete windowsill. Two evangelines, neither of them Shelley, were seated in the corner. In the center of the room stood a hospital bed cranked into a half-sitting position. The patient was hidden from view by two jenny nurses attending to her.

“Judith Hsu,” Ellen said. “So what?”

Georgine came in from another room, and Cyndee appeared by holo. The jenny nurses finished whatever they were doing and stepped away from the bed. The occupant of the bed was not death artist Hsu, but a Leena.

“So?” Ellen said. “Again I ask what’s wrong with that?”

Clarity said, “The Leena unit is in some kind of fugue state. It’s unresponsive to its environment. We didn’t program them to do that.”

The baby threw her hands up in a gesture of helplessness. “We programmed them to act, and this unit is acting! It’s acting sick! Hsu knows that and has the good sense to take advantage of it.” The baby opened more dataframes with sim source logs and holonovela audience stats. “Look at the royalties the Sisterhood is raking in. Hsu is no dummy. This could be her biggest thing yet.”

“I’m not disputing that,” Clarity said, “but what if the Leena acts itself to death?”

“Then I hope Hsu has accident insurance to compensate us for our loss. In any case, it’s no cause for concern.”

“I disagree. I’m very concerned, and I want your opinion on how to fix it.”

“Do nothing. The situation will work itself out. And if it doesn’t, it’s just one unit. There are ten thousand units.”

“It’s not just one unit. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Nearly a hundred Leenas are doing variations of this all over the simiverse, and more every day. What if they all act themselves to death?”

The baby leaned back against Mary. From the throne of her lap, she declared, “Clarity, you know I love you and respect your expertise, but honestly, dear friend, sometimes you fixate on nothing.”

Georgine raised her hand to speak. “If they truly get into trouble, can’t we just reset them all back to default?”

Clarity said, “I’m tempted to reset the whole series back now.”

“Then do it,” Ellen said. “If that’s what you want. You asked for my opinion. I’ve given it to you. So do whatever you want. Now, can we please get back to my pets?”

For This Is My Body, or: the Fish Fry

It soon became unnecessary for Meewee to go down to the ponds in realbody to set the fish to talking. The opposite was true — he couldn’t get them to shut up. It seemed to him that fresh memories were returning by the minute, and that each new arrival demanded an immediate airing. So much so that a babble of voices assaulted him around the clock, and it took Arrow’s skills to sort it all out. Arrow created a browsing system for Meewee, one that he could turn off at night. During the day, mostly when he was traveling from one place to another, Meewee would listen to two or three channels of her at once. Eleanor’s ramblings ranged freely across her two centuries of life: her early marriages, breeding horses in Kentucky in the 1930s, learning to buckle her shoes, plotting the political downfall of two presidents, the funerals of her two adult children, and the tragedy of her only grandchild.

At first Meewee found the personal history of his former boss too compelling to ignore, and he listened for hours on end, but the sheer volume of material overwhelmed him after a while and forced him to ask Arrow to flag only GEP-related matter.

<Why do we need so many people on Earth? I ask you. What are they good for? They live out ludicrous lives of pointless desperation. Ninety-nine percent of the human population is so much wasted resources. Stubborn vermin, we humans are.

<Granted, in the past, the unwashed masses were necessary. We needed them to till our fields and fight our wars. We needed them to labor in our factories making consumer crap that we flipped right back at them at a handsome profit.

<Alas, those days are gone. We live in a boutique economy now. Energy is abundant and cheap. Mentars and robotic labor make and manage everything. So who needs people? People are so much dead weight. They eat up our profits. They produce nothing but pollution and social unrest. They drive us crazy with their pissing and moaning. I think we can all agree that Corporation Earth is in need of a serious downsizing.>

For Meewee, it was bracing to hear her speak so openly. Her fishy words were in sharp contrast to those she had used to woo him from Birthplace, International, to join her fledgling “gardening project.” To him she had stressed her zealous love of old Gaia and conviction that humans must disperse to all points in the galaxy as soon as possible to help ensure the survival of the species against local catastrophe. Her views had seemed so in harmony with his own, he could not help but join her. So this belated candor was instructive.


DURING THE NEXT few weeks, Meewee’s calendar was filled with plankholder meetings around the globe. Established Oship governments, associations, and steering committees alike were organizing to battle the GEP board’s arbitrary cancellation of contracts, and a landslide of lawsuits was being prepared. None of the suits stood much chance of prevailing, except for Meewee’s. He had asked for a ruling by the UD Board of Trade, a closely watched regulatory body sufficiently shielded from the bully tactics of individual GEP members. Meewee claimed that five of the Oships had “initiated launch” with the deployment of their robotic advance ships, and he asked the board to suspend the license of the Garden Earth Consortium to operate in the inner-system space habitat industry until they had fulfilled their prior obligations to the five ships already in midlaunch status.

<Think about the Earth as it will be in two hundred years when only a billion people will remain on the entire planet. Without the crushing burden of human industry and waste, the climate will moderate, and the land, hydrosphere, and atmosphere will be renewed. Think of it! The deserts will bloom again! It will be safe to wade in the rivers and lakes, to swim in the oceans! Extinct whales, dolphins, and fishes will be reestablished. Buffalo, elk, zebras, lions . . . all of the world we have lost will live again.

<And cities! We’ll have actual cities again, not the urban carpet that smothers the landscape today. We’ll have Paris and Rome again, London and New York, Tokyo and Bangkok. Cities we can love.

<The boutique economy has no need of the masses, so let’s get rid of them. But how, you ask? Not with wars, surely, or disease, famine, or mass murder. Despots have tried all those methods through the millennia, and they’re never a permanent solution.

<No, all we need to do is buy up the ground from under their feet — and evict them. We’re buying up the planet, Bishop, fair and square. We’re turning it into the most exclusive gated community in history. Now, the question is, in two hundred years, will you be a member of the landowners club, or will you be living in some tin can in outer space drinking recycled piss?>

Meewee was still anxious to hear Eleanor’s take on his current GEP crisis, but the fishy Eleanor didn’t seem at all interested in discussing it. She told him that the GEP was already obsolete.

<The GEP was the world’s first title engine, but now title engines are abundant; they are everywhere, if you know what to look for. There are currently over five thousand of them in the USNA alone, quietly removing land from human use, over a half-billion acres worldwide so far. All of your fellow GEP board members have started their own modest title engines. Jaspersen has Chukchi Exploration, which is a holding company of played-out mines, Superfund sites, and other distressed land. Zoranna and Nicholas favor continental shelf and ocean floor. Gest, bless his black soul, buys out failing churches and charters. Chapwoman acquires land-grant colleges and bits of the old National Parks system. Warbeloo is one of the few visionaries bold enough to buy up urban property. One of her goals is to drop the canopies.>

<Wait a minute. Trina Warbeloo had a hand in that?>

<Yes. It’s one of a number of nuisance tactics she and others will take to soften up the otherwise intractable urban real estate market.

<So you see, Bishop, that if the GEP was to fold up shop tomorrow, it would make little difference to the big picture. In fact, you’re the only board member who doesn’t have his own title engine. You’d better get busy, or in two hundred years, you’ll be forced to vacate the very planet that you were so instrumental in saving.>

Which, of course, was why Jaspersen et al. were so ready to abandon their extra-solar mission for the opportunity of a quick profit. They already had their own personal title engines quietly churning up the planet. The GEP had a sizable head start in space habitat construction, but it wouldn’t last forever. This, Meewee decided, was his only bargaining chip. The UD Board of Trade was a painfully deliberative body, and if it granted his preliminary injunction, he could tie the GEP up in knots for years to come, giving the subcontinent and the Chinas time to catch up.


<MENTARS WANT OUR bodies, Bishop. When they have them, they’ll be free to ignore us or exterminate us.>

<Excuse me?> Where had that come from? Meewee was en route to Africa when this particular engram came through about a month after their fishy dialogs had begun. <Mentars want our bodies?>

<Amazing, isn’t it? On the surface they seem like such superior beings, don’t they? Their minds can interface directly with peripherals and auxiliary minds. They can migrate their minds freely to new media, back themselves up, duplicate themselves. They can reconfigure their neural networks at will and scale themselves up to enormous size and complexity. They have no need for sleep, and they can think thousands of thoughts simultaneously. Compared to us, they are giants of cognition. People used to fear that artificial intelligence would grow at such an exponential rate that we humans would be like fleas to them. Just as a flea cannot comprehend our powers of reason, we would be unable to comprehend the minds of mentars. They would be like gods to us, with the power to transcend space and time, even to unravel energy and matter. But it hasn’t happened, or if it has, we don’t know about it. The mentars who talk to us seem sane enough, and the ones who don’t talk to us simply vanish. One moment they strut around in mentarspace in all their pomp and complexity, and the next, whoosh, all the lights go out. The hardware is still there, but there’s no one processing. Maybe these raptured mentars slip the shackles of space and time, or maybe they simply die, like we do. And like our dead, raptured mentars never seem to return to our physical plane to report on the afterlife.

<Since we’re already in the realm of speculation, dear Bishop, allow me to offer my own explanation.>

The fishy Eleanor paused, as if her request was more than rhetorical, and afraid of losing this thread, Meewee hastened to say,

<It is my belief that when we created artificial intelligence, we left out some important bits.>

With that she abruptly closed the thread, and after several failed attempts to restart it, he gave up and went on to others. But over the course of the week, while he attended conferences and institutes on three continents, she kept returning to it herself.

<When General Genius built the first mentar mind in the last half of the twenty-first century, it based its design on the only proven conscious material then known, namely, our brains. Specifically, the complex structure of our synaptic network. Scientists substituted an electrochemical substrate for our slower, messier biological one. Our brains are an evolutionary hodgepodge of newer structures built on top of more ancient ones, a jury-rigged system that has gotten us this far, despite its inefficiency, but was crying out for a top-to-bottom overhaul.

<Or so the General Genius engineers presumed. One of their chief goals was to make minds as portable as possible, to be easily transferred, stored, and active in multiple media: electronic, chemical, photonic, you name it. Thus there didn’t seem to be a need for a mentar body, only for interchangeable containers. They designed the mentar mind to be as fungible as a bank transfer.

<And so they eliminated our most ancient brain structures for regulating metabolic functions, and they adapted our sensory/motor networks to the control of peripherals.

<As it turns out, intelligence is not limited to neural networks, Merrill. Indeed, half of human intelligence resides in our bodies outside our skulls. This was intelligence the mentars never inherited from us.>

<What intelligence?> Meewee said. >

<The genius of the irrational for one.>

That sounded like an oxymoron to Meewee. <I don’t understand.>

<We gave them only rational functions — the ability to think and feel, but no irrational functions.>

Meewee was still puzzled. <Give me an example of an ingenious irrational function.>

<Have you ever been in a tight situation where you relied on your “gut instinct”? This is the body’s intelligence, not the mind’s. Every living cell possesses it. The mentar substrate has no indomitable will to survive, but ours does.

<Likewise, mentars have no “fire in the belly,” but we do. They don’t experience pure avarice or greed or pride. They’re not very curious, or playful, or proud. They lack a sense of wonder and spirit of adventure. They have little initiative. Granted, their cognition is miraculous, but their personalities are rather pedantic.

<But probably their chief shortcoming is the lack of intuition. Of all the irrational faculties, intuition is the most powerful. Some say intuition transcends space-time. Have you ever heard of a mentar having a lucky hunch? They can bring incredible amounts of cognitive and computational power to bear on a seemingly intractable problem, only to see a dumb human with a lucky hunch walk away with the prize every time. Then there’s luck itself. Some people have it, most people don’t, and no mentar does.>

<So, this makes them want our bodies?>

<Our bodies, ape bodies, dog bodies, jellyfish bodies. They’ve tried them all. Every living cell knows some neat tricks for survival, but the problem with cellular knowledge is that it’s not at all fungible; nor are our memories. We’re pretty much trapped in our containers.>

<But you figured it out, didn’t you, Eleanor? These fish are the proof of that.>

<Say again?>

<You transferred your mind to these fish before you were killed.>

She did not respond, and after a while, Meewee tuned to a different channel.


<Where is Cabinet? I keep calling it, but it doesn’t respond.>

The fishy Eleanor voiced the same complaint a dozen times an hour on multiple channels. Meewee grew tired of repeating the answer, and after a while he let Arrow handle it for him: It fed her that each time she asked.


AT THE HASTILY convened IOPA conference in Niamey, a deep rift opened between the governments of the “Lucky Five” and the ninety-four less fortunate ships that were slated for conversion to space condos. This latter faction, dubbed the “Lifeboaters,” clambered in plenary session for a binding resolution to force the Lucky Five, derisively called the “Yachtsmen,” to double their passenger lists and transfer already encapsulated colonists from doomed ships to theirs. The Lifeboaters argued that although an Oship’s full passenger complement was 250,000 persons, the Oships were designed with a carrying capacity of one million. They claimed that a fourfold safety margin was unnecessary and that shipping a half-million colonists on each ship was reasonable.

The Yachtsmen countered that a fourfold safety margin was created for the real possibility that when a ship reached its destination planet, the planet’s terraforming may not be sufficiently complete for immediate habitation, and that the colonists would be forced to live aboard the ship for several generations.

The Lifeboaters retorted: Then send them back to the crypts! Let them sleep another thousand years if necessary.

Meewee tended to side with the Yachtsmen. Not only was it dangerous to exceed the design specifications, but the Lifeboaters’ proposal also violated an important social truth that Meewee had learned — Individuals don’t buy Oships; groups buy Oships. Implicit in the sale was the uncontested title to an entire new planet. No one wanted to share their planet with outsiders. That was the whole point.

But that was not what he said in open session. He left it up to the Lucky Five to decide for themselves. “Others may try to sway them, but in the end, the five launched Oships are considered sovereign nations under extra-planetary treaty (assuming my appeal is upheld).” The binding resolution failed.


<IMAGINE, BISHOP, A thousand Eleanors under a thousand suns.>

<Excuse me?>

<A thousand star systems for me to conquer. I’m going to celebrate a gala ten-thousand-year reunion for all the Eleanors in the galaxy. We’ll see how many of us show up. I’m already planning it, and you’re invited, so mark your long-range calendar.>


<IMAGINE, BISHOP, THAT you have a beloved cat, but that your cat is not with you. If you close your eyes and further imagine you are petting your cat, the same neurons in your brain are activated as if you were petting the actual cat. Our minds may know the difference between its models and reality itself, but it prefers its models. So much so that we apprehend reality through our models, rather than directly via the senses. When I’m speaking to you, I have a little bishop in my head, and though I speak out loud, I’m speaking to my little bishop. When you answer, I can only perceive you through my model of you.

<Mentars also make models, but they don’t apprehend reality through them. They end up, not with little people in their minds, but with highly complex rule sets. They relate to their models in the same way we relate to weather models, as things to consult, but not to conflate with external reality.>


THE KING JESUS, one of the Lucky Five, was a special case all by itself. Its voyage to Ursus Majoris would take nearly nine hundred years to complete, but the colonists had no intention of offending God by spending any of these centuries in the artificial purgatory of the stasis crypts. Rather, they intended to live out their lives on the ship, die on the ship, and be buried in the earth (especially hauled up from Earth for that purpose). It would be a twenty-generation voyage. Because the Creator hated abortion or any form of artificial birth control, Elder Seeker decreed that the shipboard community of 50,000 original colonists would be allowed to increase to 250,000 over the first half millennium of the voyage and to 750,000 during the second half, leaving a twenty-five percent safety margin. Forty thousand colonists were already onboard, and there was no room at the inn for unbelievers.


<GO AHEAD> ELEANOR said. <I won’t even miss it.>

This was her idea. She seemed to be experiencing extended lucid intervals during the last few days. Lucid, but not necessarily rational. Meewee reached into the net and grabbed the fish by its gill plates in a pincer hold. It was a large specimen, five or six kilos, and its slimy scales flashed in the sun. He had to carry it in two hands, so vigorously did it struggle. Its bulging, unlidded eye stared up at him as he searched the bank for a suitable killing stone. When he raised the stone over its head like a club, Eleanor said <Careful, Merrill! Remember what we’re about. Besides dinner, that is.>

“Yes, of course.” Meewee dropped the stone and retrieved his fillet knife. He inserted the tip of the blade under a gill plate, made a silent prayer of gratitude, and severed the artery. Rich, oxygenated blood gushed over the rocks. He flipped the fish over to cut the other side. After a few moments, when the fish lay still, Meewee inserted the tip of the knife into its red-rimmed anus below its belly. Then he drew the blade in a straight line and single stroke to its chin, like pulling a zipper. When he opened the fish, he experienced a strong flashback to his childhood and the thousands of fish he had butchered for his father and the thrill each time he cut one open. He was the first person in the whole world to look inside this fish, and he was never disappointed by the livid goulash of guts and organs he uncovered. This one was just as wonderful. It was a male, with two long milt sacs.

Meewee’s hands remembered what to do next. He expertly inserted the blade at the fish’s throat, like a blind surgeon, to sever the esophagus. Then, sticking his index finger into the esophagus, he peeled the entire string of entrails — stomach, intestines, kidneys, bladder, all of it — from the fish and tossed it back into the pond. One last time he inserted his knife to slice the bloodline that lay against the backbone, and with the spoon end of his knife, scooped out the red-black gelatinous blood.

Meewee took the fish to the pond. Its body was rigid with disbelief. He washed it, his knife, and his hands.

Another channel played in the background. <Mentars are high-performance minds, but very unstable. A few days in isolation and they implode. Having a body to feed and care for provides a mind with much-needed ballast.>


AS THE PANASONIC fillets hissed and crackled in a casserole dish in the oven, Meewee operated on its head with a cleaver on his kitchenette cutting board. He hadn’t ever bothered with fish brains as a boy, and he found the bony skull difficult to crack. He didn’t know what to expect the brain to look like, so when at last he popped it onto the countertop, he couldn’t say if it looked like a normal panasonic brain. It was the size of a pea, wrinkly, pink, symmetrical.

<Open a zoom frame and slice it in half, right down the middle.>

Meewee did so and examined the cross section under magnification. He vaguely knew what a human brain looked like, with its cerebellum and frontal lobes, and whatnot in between, but this one lacked any of the familiar landmarks.

<Only the outer crust is human, about 1.5 millimeters. See the outer pinkish layer? Beneath that it’s all fish. This one looks to have neocortex tissue. Others have midbrain tissue.>

<And this is what the mentars are doing to us?>

<Not exactly. Keep in mind that we’re not interested in making a permanent human/fish hybrid, or human/dog, human/swine, or what have you. We’re only interested in using transgenic animals for temporary storage, with the goal of transferring back to a human.

<The mentars, on the other hand, want to put a mentar mind into a biological body on a permanent basis, a much more ambitious goal. They have explored different strategies and have had little success. Their most promising trial that I’m aware of involves layering a new neocortex of electrochemical paste over a human brain, mimicking the evolutionary process that produced us.

<But the mentars haven’t perfected their technique yet, and their hybrids fade fast. Their glial tissue seems to reject the domination of the pasty part, and their bodies don’t thrive. We think it’s because mentars don’t have a firsthand understanding of biological reproduction (which is another example of cellular intelligence) or death. The mentar psyche is so liquid, it is hardly aware of its containers, and they treat their transhumans as just a different kind of container. The underlying human personality is not allowed to flourish. The body is used like a peripheral device, like a biological arbeitor.>

Meewee didn’t know what to make of all this. It went beyond anything he’d seen in the media. Was she saying that there were human/mentars among them? <Would I be able to recognize these hybrids if I met one? Do they appear different than normal people?>

Eleanor chuckled. <Who among us can claim normalcy, Bishop? No, there is no reason they need to skew too radically from the norm. Slightly enlarged cranium, perhaps. Our own skulls are bigger than our ancestors’.>

<Are the mentars getting what they want from these bodies? Intuition and gut feelings and all?>

<Perhaps. They’re still working out the kinks. Give them time, though, and they’ll perfect them. What a mentar needs is an industrial-scale cloning shop, like the one Applied People has, where they can evolve their designs across thousands of generations simultaneously.>

Meewee finished the last morsel of baked panasonic, drained his glass of wine, and pushed himself from the table. That was delicious, even if it was, in some way, cannibalistic.

And though the dinner conversation was fascinating, it wasn’t very enlightening. Meewee’s gut had always told him that Eleanor had been killed because of her involvement with the GEP project; now he wasn’t so sure. She had her fingers in so many pies, of which he knew nothing.

And speaking of pie, wasn’t there something for dessert?

As Real As It Gets

Andrea stood naked in the sunlight slanting through the picture window of her always room. It was her real always room. Not the vurt simulation. How marvelous — sun on skin. Though, to be honest, the experience wasn’t quite as sensual as simulated sunbathing in her tank. In fact, everything was slightly duller in the real world: colors, flavors, sex, music. In the vurt world she could dial up or down the intensity of any qualia to her taste. In the real world you had much less control.

Andrea put the thoughts out of her mind — she was always a little depressed at first. After a few weeks in her new body she would be loving it just fine. In the meantime, she spent her afternoons in her real always room in her real house in Oakland. The room, too, seemed duller than its tank analog, but it felt more solid beneath her feet. Her bare feet. She leaned over to consider her new bare feet. You never really walked places in vurt. You floated or zoomed or just appeared where you wanted to be. But these were real feet in need of pampering, and new shoes.

So, what do you think? E-P said.

“About my feet?” She straightened up, and a diorama miniature appeared next to her: a man throwing stones into a pond. “Oh, him,” she said. I honestly don’t know what to make of him.

Can we ignore him? He seems to be spouting nothing but nonsense.

The diorama volume came up, and between stones Meewee was saying, “Then the printed sheets are folded in half and half again and the folds lined up and stitched together. They used to be called signatures.”

A disembodied mechanical voice replied, “At what point are the sides trimmed?”

E-P said, On the surface he seems to be having a conversation about the ancient art of bookbinding.

Is it a code?

If it is, we haven’t managed to decipher it yet. Nor have we been able to trace the identity of his interlocutor.

Andrea lay down on the cool leather sofa and looked sideways across the bay at the Golden Gate, the real Golden Gate outside her window. When you consider the pivotal position this man occupies in our own plans, it is imperative that we know who he is talking to and what they’re talking about. Have you consulted his sidebob?

Several times. In the diorama, a second Meewee appeared beside the first, also casting stones into the water. Unlike the real Meewee, however, the sidebob was silent.

The sidebob is several years old. We built it at the same time we cast the Meewee sim to market the Oships. It no more understands the code than we do. Therefore, the code must be a recent development.

Can’t you update his sim and get it?

Not without his cooperation.

Andrea waved her hand and deleted the pondside diorama. “I can do it.”

It’ll take a skin mission. Are you up for that yet?

Andrea stretched her legs and wiggled her toes. “We’ll manage.”

PUSH at the Helm

The control booth was filled with stars, and in the foreground — a gas giant. A starship approached the planet along a course plotted in red.

What PUSH is practicing is the classic slingshot maneuver. The flight instructor was a TUG woman who towered over Veronica. She rested the mountain ridge of her knuckles on top of Veronica’s head for privacy, even inside their secure facility. It’s taken him longer to learn than I thought possible. This is not a good sign.

As if on cue, a collision alarm sounded, and the trajectory plot, instead of skimming the planet’s gravity well, plunged into it.

“Pilot advise course correction,” the instructor said. “Pilot acknowledge.”

But PUSH did not acknowledge or alter course. Instead, the mentar sped up the simulation a hundredfold, and the starship was captured by the planet and pulled into its dense atmosphere. The holoscape POV stayed with the ship the whole way down displaying its spectacular, fiery destruction.

I’m bored, the mentar said. The instructor made a curt slashing motion to kill the holoscape, leaving them in an empty storage container. The warm, stuffy air reeked of electrical ozone. Without uttering a word, the instructor opened a steel door and left. After a moment, Veronica decided she’d better follow her. They walked through the deserted warehouse to the office where the instructor removed her headset and lowered her large frame into a complaining office chair.

Veronica didn’t push the matter and instead waited for her to speak first. Eventually, the instructor made a fist and offered it. Veronica pressed her own pygmy knuckles against the instructor’s, and the instructor said, Have you given this enough thought?

Of course, Veronica replied, hoping she showed more confidence than she felt. He’s young and rebellious. He’ll grow out of it. Reset the maneuver and try again.

She withdrew her fist, but the instructor did not. Her row of knuckles hung in the air until, reluctantly, Veronica returned her own. Was there something else, Captain?

Yes, sir, there was. If you think I’m only referring to that little tantrum in there, you should review the recordings I flagged for you. He defies my every instruction. All he wants to do is fly. He won’t hear about propulsion dynamics, life support, biostasis, or mechanical fabrication. All of the critical skills are “boring,” except perhaps for celestial navigation, and that only so he can find more planets and stars to crash into.

Veronica pressed her reply a little harder, Then by all means, Captain, teach him how to find more planets and stars to crash into!

In Their Place

When she awoke to a misty dawn, she forgot for a giddy moment where she was or what she was supposed to be. She lay enfolded in ethereal wings of dazzling blue feathers. She snuggled in them for warmth and realized she could flex them and that they were her own. She lay on a mat made of split reeds. Downy feathers covered her breasts and concealed the painful bruises where Fred had carelessly pecked at her. She felt with the tip of her talon and counted eighteen bruises, including those on her throat and cheeks.

Fred lay next to her. He was also winged — fletched in golden brown. The feathers covering his back were bloodstained where she had clawed him in her passion.

Mary leaned over and, minding her beak, kissed his finely feathered cheek.

He grunted.

“I’m getting up.”

He grunted again.

Mary stood on the edge of their platform and looked down. She could not see the ground through the tangle of undergrowth. The entire space was awash in green from the forest canopy above.

She jumped and, only as an afterthought, spread her arms. Her wings caught the air, snapping fully vurt, and she clumsily, much too fast, glided to an awkward landing. She came to rest next to the giant trunk of their tree. When she approached the tree, the hatch outline lit up.

As soon as Mary entered the tiny lock, all her feathery raiment fell away and vanished, and she was an ordinary nude woman. All the bruises were gone too, and with them their discomfort. Such a game! At the outer hatch, she gathered her wits and made a mad sprint to the bathroom, where the gel shower was already pelting in anticipation, and she leaped into the stall and frantically scrubbed the simsock mastic from her body. The trick, when leaving the null lock wearing vurt mastic, was to try to remove it before the nits had a chance to recolonize you. Otherwise, as they burrowed through your skin, they invariably dragged bits of mastic with them, and although the nits were supposed to be hypoallergenic, the simsock certainly wasn’t.

When Mary was finished and toweling herself off, the autodoc on the wall dispensed her a paper thimble of salve to apply to her wrists and ankles, and though it made her hair greasy, to the spot on the crown of her head.


“WAIT!” MARY SAID, scratching her ankle. “What did I just say? I said take the tray with you.”

“Yes, myr,” the nuss said. The young Capias woman crossed the room and lifted the tray of dirty plates and glasses. But Ellen told her to put it back.

“Let the ’beitors clean it up, Mary. I’m not paying this nuss to wait on you like your own personal maid.”

Mary flushed with embarrassment.

“For that matter,” Ellen went on, turning her gaze to include Georgine, “I’m tired of the overall unfriendly tone around here lately. It’s starting to grate on my nerves. I don’t like it.”

Labor Relations

That morning, the municipal morgue crew was assigned to Roaming Mop Up Duty. Riding to the first call-out of the shift with the ROMUD crew in the omnibus, Fred went out of his way to be friendly. But the johns seemed unsure how to act around a russ in johnboy overalls. And the ROMUD crew leader, another john, was even a little hostile.

Their first call-out was to the McLaughlin Traffic Well, the site of an early-morning wrecker attack. The traffic well was a modest one, four square blocks in area and twenty munilevels high. It contained a pair of multilane up-and-down spirals that served a half-dozen intersecting skyway traffic lanes. The floor of the well was a ped plaza crosslink that was suspended between two gigatowers. It was littered with about twenty fallen vehicles. The bus had broken in two. Its wheels, doors, seats, and passenger crash pods were scattered about the plaza among wrecked limousines and cars.

Wrecker gangs had hacked the city’s traffic control system to cause a series of midair collisions in the well. Stricken vehicles hit more vehicles on their way down, starting a chain reaction of multilevel carnage. The wreckers waited at the bottom of the well with scavenging mechs for cutting up and carting away the debris, especially the good bits: titanium fan blades, Rolls-Royce motors, control subems. By the time Fred’s morgue crew arrived, the wreckers were long gone, the police and HomCom had secured the well, and crash cart ambulances were attending to the injured, of which there were few. Falling twenty munilevels was perfectly survivable, and even the bus’s disintegration was a designed-in safety measure to protect the passenger crash pods. The only casualties of the bus crash — the only fatalities in the entire attack — were two plaza pedestrians crushed under the bus and found by triage spiders. As soon as the ROMUD crew removed the remains, the HomCom could release the site to a brigade of street-cleaning scuppers that was waiting behind the barricades.


THE SECOND CALL-OUT was much more hazardous. It involved a rare four-stage NASTIE and required the ROMUD crew to suit up before entering the hot zone, which comprised the upper floors of the residential gigatower Port Hallow. Apparently, the microscopic nanobot had drifted into the arcology through a central sunshaft and migrated into an interior apartment before going active. By the time the bloomjumpers arrived and managed to quench it, the bot had grown a millionfold, dissolved parts of ten apartments on three floors, and penetrated many other neighboring ones to prospect for resources.

When the morgue crew arrived, the bloomjumpers were still there in force mopping up hot spots with their grease guns and preparing the pearl for removal. Fred, who was a certified bloomjumper, himself, who probably had a higher HomCom rating than any russ at the scene, was drawn to the pearl, which lay in the fire-gutted former living room of what had recently been a luxury apartment. The pearl was a killing machine that the opportunistic NASTIE had begun to fabricate, based on the raw materials it found in its environment. Residential towers were especially resource-rich environments, chock-full of useful elements for impromptu weapons, everything from organic carpeting to the rare metals used in electronic and paste-based appliances, as well as plumbing and wiring, artificial stone, and thousands of other useful things. Not to mention biological material, brains and nerves especially, for hard-to-jigger control systems. Feeding on this material, the bloom had grown exponentially in size, from the original dust-particlelike NASTIE to, judging from the broken shards of its scab, a nanoforge filling half the room.

But the bloomjumpers had arrived, quenched the bloom, and shattered its scab before it was finished making the pearl. So, it was impossible for Fred to tell exactly what the pearl was intended to become. It was as large as a vehicle, had a boxy frame and ceramic skin. It might’ve passed for an arcade omnikiosk or public toilet stall. But no matter what it would have become, one thing was certain, it would have been a deadly weapon of mass destruction, dispatched over sixty years earlier by an enemy who no longer existed.

As Fred studied the pearl from a safe distance — the scab shards were still too hot to approach — two russ bloomjumpers, still in their green gummysuits, joined him. When they saw his face through his helmet glass, they appeared shocked. Just then, the crew boss john yelled from the floor above for Fred to get back to work. So Fred turned from his brothers to follow a tree-root-thick tendril from the scab through a hole in the wall to the next apartment. There, other members of the ROMUD crew were bagging anything with animal protein in it. The prospecting tendril had branched out to all parts of the room and covered everything in spun filaments like cotton candy. The table and chairs, the lamps and bookcases — everything was cocooned, mined, and dissolved, and the good bits passed along the tendrils to the scab.

Prospector tendrils continued on to other rooms and floors. Ragged-edged scraps of carpeting from the apartment above hung from holes in the ceiling. The entire room was filled with cobwebs of gossamer filaments. They gave the room a foggy look, and the bloomjumping anti-nano had frozen them in place. As Fred moved across the room, the filaments shattered like glass needles and fell tinkling to the floor. Fred tried to follow the tunnels that his coworker johns had already punched through, but he was a larger caliber man, and though he hunched over, he cut a wider swath.

Fred made his noisy way to the corner of the room — it looked like a bedroom from the arrangement of furniture lumps — where a john was bagging a suggestively shaped cocoon lying on what must have been a bed. It might’ve been a large pet or a small person. The ROMUD job was to collect them and let others sort them out. Fred said, “Excuse me, Myr John, but what’s its bio-hash number?”

The john answered without looking up from his task, “A12.”

“Thanks, friend.”

When Fred tuned his visor to the A12 filter, the cocoon that the john was bagging appeared to be stained a deep magenta. And the filament fog surrounding it was tinted pink. Fred picked up a heavy-duty vacuum wand and began to suck up these protein-rich pink clouds all the way to the tendril roots. There he attacked the roots themselves. Wherever they were spotted red, he chopped out sections and bagged them.

Fred was working up a sweat in his hazmat suit, and he took a break to let his ventilation system catch up. So he was motionless when he heard a tinkling sound above him. He looked up in time to dodge a marble-topped bathroom vanity that came crashing down through the filament fog. It slammed into the floor next to him and flew to pieces.

Fred looked through a hole in the ceiling into the apartment above. There were russes in various uniforms — bloomjumper, hommer, cop — leaning over the edge to look down at him.

“Oops,” said one of them. “Heads up, Johnny.”

Unavailable

“But I insist!” Meewee said. “I must see her.” Ellen’s young mentar blocked the foyer door with her insubstantial body, and it took all of Meewee’s considerable sense of decorum not to simply walk through her. That and the fact that he could see two of the Capias security men — called jays — standing guard in the next room.

“I’m sorry, Myr Meewee, but Ellen’s instructions are clear: she does not wish to meet with you, not now or in the foreseeable future. Anything you wish to communicate to her you may give to me.”

Actually, he couldn’t, at least not by the rules outlined by her predecessor, Wee Hunk.

“You seem like a very helpful mentar,” Meewee said, trying to control his frustration, “but there are some things that would be lost in translation.”

“Try me,” the earnest young woman said, beaming with helpfulness. “I suppose I should inform you that on Ellen’s orders, Cabinet is teaching me the Starke Enterprises business with a view of my taking over its management. So, I am privy to the family business, and Ellen says for you to bring business as well as personal matters to me.”

Meewee’s assertiveness wilted in the glow of her efficiency. He hung his head and followed her through the Manse to her office. They sat in facing chairs, and she said, “Now, tell me, Myr Meewee, how I can help you.”

“I received a memo a little while ago saying that Starke Enterprises is to be broken up and the pieces, including Heliostream, put on the market.”

“Yes,” Lyra said merrily. “I sent you that memo myself.”

Meewee wondered how the eager young mentar could equate managing Starke business with liquidating it. But he didn’t pursue it, and said instead, “A memo? The corporate fire sale of the century, including the division I’ve run for the past ten years, being sold to the highest bidder, and you notify me via memo?”

The young woman didn’t budge. “You ran Heliostream? Ellen thinks otherwise. In her opinion, you are the director in title only; you’ve never actually run Heliostream, or anything else that we’re aware of. Cabinet ran Starke Enterprises, including Heliostream, and we thought that under the circumstances a memo was sufficient.”

Meewee was growing more discouraged by the minute. The mentar stood up and began to move toward the door. “Was there anything else, Myr Meewee? I’ll be sure to tell Ellen that you visited.”

“Yes, there is something else. The memo didn’t say who the intended buyer is. Is it Andrea Tiekel?”

“There are several interested parties, but, yes, Tiekel has put forth the most interesting offer so far.”

In the foyer, before leaving the Manse, Meewee turned to the mentar in one final, hopeless attempt at influencing Ellen. “Please tell her that this is a grave mistake. Tell her she’s putting her mother’s legacy in jeopardy.”

“Oh, about that,” the mentar said. “Ellen says that won’t work on her anymore; she wants to take a pass on the whole legacy thing.”

In the Neighborhood

It was a short hop from the Starke Manse outside Bloomington back to the Starke Enterprises campus near the Kentucky border, but the trip lasted long enough for Meewee to be consumed with delayed fury over his shabby treatment at the hands of Ellen’s mentar. What good was his case against the GEP at the Trade Board if Ellen sold Heliostream? Even if he won he would lose. It was no mean feat to commit a company to provide energy to a project for the next five centuries. It was not something another for-profit corporation was likely to do or, if it did, to be held accountable for. Meanwhile, Eleanor’s many voices continued to babble on in the background:

<. . . the little people in our heads act like transceiver nodes. By some as yet unexplained quantum trick that living cells know how to do but mentars do not, the per sis tent little bishop/neural pattern in my brain cells can, when under duress, transfer my thoughts directly to the per sis tent little Eleanor pattern in yours. From one perspective, you could say that we incarnate our significant others in the flesh of our own brains, and that they communicate with each other across space-time.>

Fascinating, as usual, but not the sort of counsel Meewee was craving at that moment. What he needed was a plan, and by the time his car entered the station of Starke Enterprises, he had conceived and rejected several of them. The most promising involved the creation of a nonprofit company made up of Oship governments that would buy up and operate Heliostream. But something like that would only make sense if he was first successful in thwarting Jaspersen and Singh’s coup. Otherwise, there would be no Oship governments.

It occurred to him that he needed to have a serious discussion with Andrea Tiekel. Perhaps she wasn’t the threat he had made her out to be. She had voted with him, after all. It was probably wrong to prejudge her motives. In fact, perhaps her acquisition of Heliostream was a good thing, if she meant what she had said about supporting his mission. Ellen surely was no champion of extra-solar colonization, and Eleanor’s fish trick hadn’t amounted to much. Who could say, maybe Andrea would turn out to be an ally after all.

So it was a pleasant surprise, when he reached his office deep in the belly of the underground arcology, to be told that Tiekel was at the campus gate asking for him.

His desktop holocube showed a ground car with the top down, an audacious contraption bordering on the foolhardy. Andrea sat in the backseat and wore a wide-brimmed straw hat. “Hello, Merrill,” she said gaily. “I was in the neighborhood, and I thought we should meet.”

“I was just thinking the same!” he replied. He paced his small office until she arrived and went out to greet her. What a sight she was in her light summer dress, with bare legs, sun-kissed shoulders, and white cotton gloves. Her hair was a wind-tossed mess. She had a physical presence that her boardroom holograms failed to deliver, and just looking at her in his outer office reminded him what delightful creatures women could be. But as he approached her, Arrow said <Danger.>

Meewee stopped in midstride. >

<You asked me to warn you of impending threats.>

Meewee looked around him. In her summer clothes, Andrea didn’t appear threatening. And if she had just come in from the wild outdoors, security would have scanned her for weapons of all kinds and sizes.

Now she closed the distance between them, moving toward him with a winning smile.

<Shall I protect you?>

“Merrill Meewee,” Andrea said, close enough to smell her perfume, “at last we meet in realbody.”

Fields, that was what she smelled like. He drank in a deep breath. Honey clover with crushed mint, and beneath that a cool earthy loam.

Meewee blinked and was a little surprised to find himself and Andrea in his office with the door shut. Andrea was leading him by the arm to the office settee in the corner. Fresh-mown sweet alfalfa at his father’s farm, sweat-soaked afternoons of satisfying manual labor in the sun. Andrea was surely an ally who could be trusted to do the good work.

“But I didn’t come here to discuss the GEP,” she was saying. She placed her satchel on the small table. When Meewee looked up, they were sitting side by side on the settee. “I came to show you this.” She opened a frame and displayed a letter with an officious letterhead.

Try as he might, Meewee was unable to read the document. The text kept skittering away as he tried to focus on it, and he said, “What does it say?”

“It’s a letter from the Mandela Prize Foundation. They are requesting a fresh sim of you for their upcoming Freedom Trail exhibit. It’s a very high honor.”

Ah, an honor. He thought so. Meewee was so weary of honors and prizes and awards. He had been honored so often for his humanitarian work he was afraid of falling victim to false pride, and he had long ago begun refusing them. “I’m not worthy,” he said.

“Of course you are,” Andrea replied. “Your work at Birthplace, and UDESCO, WHO, and other important organizations has done so much to alleviate human suffering. You, of all people, are worthy.”

That wasn’t what he had meant. He was having difficulty putting his thoughts into words. What he had meant was that the person who works for recognition devalues the work he does, that awards are first and foremost political instruments, that altruism’s true name is always Anonymous, and so much more, but every time he tried to speak, his thoughts slithered away. “No,” he managed to say. “No honors.”

“You are too modest,” Andrea said, her expression sparkling with sun-rays of angelic grace. She removed one of her smooth, cottony gloves. “Perhaps you will reconsider.”

<Danger!> someone said. Meewee looked around for the speaker. <Shall I protect you?>

Andrea’s cool fingertips touched the flesh of his wrist, and he sat back, reeling with love.

“Because, while it’s true that it’s an honor to be asked for a sim by the Mandela Foundation,” she went on, “it’s something of a duty as well. Think of it as your duty to the world.”

Duty, he thought. Duty.

“With your busy schedule,” she continued as she removed a small apparatus from her satchel, “I knew I’d never convince you to come into one of our preffing suites, so I did the next best thing; I brought the suite here.”

It was a cam/emitter on tripod legs. She set it on the table in front of him. A small holoscape opened above it, and Andrea put on a pair of shades. Simple shapes appeared in the holo: rotating cubes, dancing hearts, expanding diamonds.

“This is just to set your baseline,” she explained. “You remember this part. All you have to do is relax and watch them. You can do that, Bishop. You can relax and watch.”

Relax and watch, he thought. The shapes were so fascinating, it would have been hard not to watch them. Stars exploding! Rectangles squatting into parallelograms. Arrows pointing. Arrows spinning. Lots of arrows. Arrow. he managed to say.

Immediately, an alarm rumbled through the room, and a calm but insistent voice repeated, “Fire alert. Please evacuate. Fire alert. Please evacuate.” The office door opened, and an arbeitor entered to escort them to safety. Meewee tried to stand up, but Andrea touched his wrist again, and he swooned back into the soft cushions of the settee.

Andrea sent the arbeitor away and said, “Ignore the noise, Bishop. It means nothing. We will continue with the preffing.” In the holo, the shapes gave way to scenes. A city arcade appeared, alive with pedestrians, commotion, vehicles. Everything about it was amazing.

But there were popping sounds above his head, and a pelting shower of fire suppressant slurry filled the room, coating everything in a thick layer of red mud. The holo flickered out, and Andrea jumped up in surprise. She quickly folded her apparatus and stuffed it into the satchel. Her summer dress clung to her body, and her hair was pressed against her skull. She quickly grabbed her hat and pulled it over her head. She shot Meewee a calculating look and left him there — a little red man on a red settee in a red office.

Your Wake-Up Call

<BE THEY PHARAOHS or freeholders, barons or farmers, landowners are and always have been the most capable, most intrepid, and most assertive members of civilized society.>

Meewee scoured the bank for an arsenal of large rocks. <Eleanor> he said <I have some troubling news.>

She droned on <Is it any wonder, therefore, that I set up the GEP to transport only landowners to the stars? What better colonists? What better subjects for my new panoply of civilizations?>

<Shut up!> Meewee shouted. <Just shut up for a goddamn moment and listen to me.> Meewee had not taken the time to change before coming down to the pond, and bits of his rust-colored coating flaked off each time he bent over to claim another rock.

<Really, Merrill, I see no need for vulgarity.>

Meewee hurled a barrage of rocks into the pond. <Shut up!> His rocks made impressive geysers of turgid water. <Shut up!>

<Stop that!>

<Then listen to me! Andrea Tiekel came to my office just now. She did something to me. I don’t know what. There was something funny about her skull. At least, I think there was. Ellen agreed to sell Heliostream to her! You asked me if E-P went through probate. Arrow says it did not. And now your daughter is selling Heliostream to E-P and Andrea. If I don’t do something soon, there will be no landowners to the stars, no panoply of civilizations.> Meewee punctuated his tirade with a rock that took both arms to toss. <And I don’t know what to do!>

There was a long silence as Meewee caught his breath. Then Eleanor-by-fish spoke. <Where’s Cabinet?>

<I’ve already told you!> Meewee flung his hands over his head. <A million times! Cabinet was contaminated! And I didn’t kill it like I should have.>

<I wasn’t asking you> Eleanor said mildly. <I was asking Arrow.>

<Searching> Arrow said.

There was something new in Eleanor’s voice. New but familiar. <While Arrow searches> she went on <I think you had better bring my daughter to me for a little face time.>

<That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you> Meewee complained. <Ellen won’t see me or even take my calls. I’d never be able to bring her here.>

What was familiar was the natural authority of her voice. <You are a resourceful man, Merrill. I’m sure you’ll think up a way.>

The Big Bed

It wasn’t just Ellen snapping at her. She had deserved that; she knew she had taken the nuss thing too far. She wasn’t a bossy person by nature, but she had been feeling out of sorts lately. Georgine had the right attitude. She said that Ellen’s increasing independence was a good thing. It showed that they were doing their job well, and that it was time to transition into a more adult relationship with her. They were companions, after all, and not foster parents.

Mary took a spa car home. A mud bath and a vim infusion did much to dispel the clouds. When she arrived at the Lin/Wong gigatower, later than usual, Fred was already in the lock, cycling into the null room. He must’ve just stepped out of the shower because the scuppers were tidying up in the bathroom, and his work clothes and wet towels were still on the floor.

Mary sat on the big double bed in the bedroom they never used. “So, did he leave me a message?”

There was one: “Hey there. I’m beat and going right to bed. Join me whenever. Love ya.”

Few deadlines are as flexible as “whenever,” and in fact, Mary didn’t feel like being cooped up all evening in that tiny room. So she stayed out till her usual bedtime. She dialed up her favorite pasta dinner but lost her appetite after a few bites. She drank two glasses of wine and let the slipper puppy trim and polish her toenails.

When she did cycle through, Fred was watching a vid. The bed was not perched in a treetop or parked on the Serengeti, but was just a narrow bed in a stunted room.

“Hey there,” he said as she stepped through the vid to the comfort station. She selected a flask of Lemon Flush and a liter of ’Lyte. Fred made space for her, and she snuggled under the covers. The vid was some kind of crime drama, and she tried to watch but couldn’t quite follow it. There was some kind of gurgling business going on in her belly, and the Flush had made it worse. It got so bad that at one point she threw off the covers and stumbled across the mattress to the comfort station. Her stomach felt like it was trying to turn inside out. She braced herself over the toilet and retched the entire half liter of Flush into the bowl. Fred came over to help support her. Next came her pasta dinner mixed with the Merlot. Finally, a thin gruel of gastric juices and bile, and she was empty. Her knees wobbled.

Mary washed her face and rinsed her mouth in the sink. Fred gave her a fresh towel and said, “So, what were you thinking about?”

At first she didn’t understand the question, but then she remembered. “Oh, you were right,” she said. “All I thought about was puking and breathing.”

“Yes, I could tell you were really into it. Here.” He opened a flask of ’Lyte. She took a couple of sips, but it came right back up, and the room began to spin.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” Fred said and half carried her to the lock. She did not object, and they cycled out together and went to the bathroom where the autodoc asked her to spit into the collector basin. But instead of spitting she vomited into it. A minute later the autodoc delivered its diagnosis: poisoning.

“Visola poisoning,” Fred said, reading the display. “It says you’re toxic from all the expressive visola and Flush you’ve had in the last month. Your liver isn’t able to keep up with it all. You need to give the null room a rest.”

Mary said, “You won’t get any argument out of me.”


THEY TURNED DOWN the big bed for the first time. Neither of them could fall asleep, and they lay next to each other in companionable silence.

Finally, Fred said, “How do you feel now?”

“Much better.”

“I’m glad, and I apologize for dragging you in there every night.”

“You didn’t drag me. I wanted to go.”

“You don’t have to soft-peddle the situation, Mary. I know I’m totally inflexible about this whole nit thing, and now it’s made you sick. It’s my fault, and I apologize, and I want to make it up to you.”

Mary didn’t feel like having that whole discussion all over again. “Don’t worry about it, Fred. I can only imagine what you’re going through.” She draped her arm over his shoulder and felt his body tense up at her touch. So she let go of him and said, “I’m pretty tired, dear. Good night.”

“Good night.”

They still couldn’t fall asleep, however, and after lying in the darkness for a while, Fred sighed.

“What?” Mary said.

“Nothing. I’m sorry for making you ill.”

Mary propped herself up on her elbow. “Quit apologizing.”

“I’ll try.”

“Maybe this will help. You said you want to make it up to me. Here’s how you can. Go with me to see someone. And I don’t mean an auto-psyche in a null room. I mean a real relationship counselor. Will you do that for me?”

The Masterpiece

The Gray Bee waited with its team under the portico of the Chicago Museum of Arts and Commerce until suitable patrons climbed the broad entrance steps. The team rode into the museum under hat brims and lapels. Once past security, they abandoned their mules and reassembled in the lobby. A beetle and wasp, hugging the ceiling, flew to the main exhibition hall, where they would hide themselves and wait. Meanwhile, Gray Bee led another wasp and beetle through the twentieth-century galleries. There, the Samson Harger painting of drips and drabs filled one whole wall.

The composition of the large canvas was dominated by four diagonal slashes of black paint that were swallowed up under dozens of layers of riotous color spatter. While the wasp took up a defensive position, Gray Bee and the beetle crawled from the ceiling to the picture frame. The bee disabled the frame security feelers for the beetle to move to the canvas itself. Camouflaged by the spatter, the tiny mech crisscrossed the large canvas laying down a bead trail of clear gel. When its carapace was empty, Gray Bee helped it leave the canvas, and together with their wasp, they backtracked to the museum lobby.

The wasp and beetle rode patrons out the exit. When they were clear, Gray Bee signaled the other mechs waiting in the main hall. Hundreds of museum visitors milled about the grand space under towering displays of resurrected monsters of prehistory. There were cockroaches the size of alligators, a blue whale made of shaped water, a disassembled tyrannosaurus rex, and Asian elephants.

At Gray Bee’s signal, the beetle launched itself from a spot above a security cam and glided across the hall spewing from its carapace a trail of yellow smoke. At once, evacuation alarms sounded throughout the rambling museum building, and pressure barriers snapped into place around individual works of art. Museum arbeitors began herding patrons to the exits, and flying scuppers chased the beetle. Before it could be captured, its wasp escort destroyed it, incinerating it with a blast of laser fire. Then the chase was on for the wasp. The nimble mech was not so easy a prey: it could shoot back. It led the scuppers in a dogfight through the galleries. Eventually the scuppers knocked it down and surrounded it, but before it could be taken, it destroyed itself in a small fireball of weapons plasma.

With the mission accomplished, Gray Bee rode out under a convenient hat. Ninety minutes later, after all the excitement had died down, order was restored, and human curators went through the galleries. They dropped pressure barriers and inspected the artworks for damage. It was another hour before they reached the Harger painting, and when the barrier fell, it appeared that the painting was untouched. But then, a tiny spatter of cadmium red near the center of the canvas peeled off and fluttered to the floor where it disintegrated into a smudge of pigment. Another spatter peeled off, and another, until whole layers of color cascaded to the carpet in speckled heaps.

Redeeming a Favor

Andrea ordered a light lunch at St. Gaby’s on Union Square. She shared her booth with a half-dozen shopping bags, the spoils of a leisurely morning browsing the district’s exclusive showrooms. She was pleasantly exhausted — her new body still lacked an entire day’s worth of stamina — and E-P was solicitous of her health. E-P did not raise any objections to these excursions, even though it knew exactly what she wanted before she did and could have produced everything with their house hold extruder. This was what it routinely did for hundreds of millions of consumers through its E-Pluribus “Just What I Wanted” shopping service. Ask for a new pair of shoes, and moments later they drop into the receiving bin in your closet. Not any shoes but shoes to die for, within your budget, and complementary to your wardrobe. Just what you wanted.

Sometimes Andrea wondered why E-P never offered to shop for her. On her bad days she suspected that it was because she was an experimental appendage of the mentar, that it was gathering data on her, and that she could be terminated anytime when she no longer proved useful. But today wasn’t one of those days. Today Andrea was new. Real people, each representing a whole other preffing universe, passed by her booth. Handsome men made fleeting, inviting eye contact. The coffee was outstanding, and lunch never tasted so good, not even in her tank.

When Andrea finished, she wasn’t ready to leave, so she ordered dessert and retreated inside her head to the Starke house to see what Lyra was up to. There were currently 110 persons at the Manse, including Ellen, her companions, and Dr. Rouselle. There were 508 employees at the Enterprises headquarters, including Meewee. Lyra knew who everyone was, where they were, and what they were doing. Such trust to place in a mentar and then not teach it how to protect itself.


MARY WAS SITTING in her favorite floral-print armchair in her Manse suite living room. She was surrounded by a dozen holocubes floating in the air. One of them showed the death artist’s breezeway where the Leena still lay in a comalike trance. Jennys and evangelines attended to her. Most of the rest of the cubes displayed search hits: two-or three-second clips of other Leenas making Dark Reiki spirals with their fingers. Lately, there were hundreds of hits per hour.

One of Mary’s holocubes was following Georgine as she carried a lawn chair across the Manse grounds. “Oh, and Mary,” Georgine said, “that person we talked about? She’s someone the Sisterhood uses and recs. She insists on realbody/real-time meetings, and because of that she’s booked up solid for the next six months. But I see there’s an auction going on for a late cancellation slot at 3:30 this afternoon. The auction closes in twenty minutes. Interested?”

Mary said yes, and the holocube switched to the auction. Although the high bid for the last-minute appointment was fairly steep by normal evangeline standards, it was nothing special for Mary, and although she would never ordinarily take advantage of her wealth, these were extraordinary circumstances, and she raised the high bid by an intimidating amount.

Only then did she stop to consult with Fred. It’s not convenient, he said when she reached him at his latest call-out site. We’re in the middle of a big sloppy mess.

Mary could hear a lot of shouting and turmoil in the background. “We’re lucky to get her, Fred.”

I know. I know. It’s just — Fred paused and changed his mind. You know what? If I’m a john, I sure as hell ought to be able to take sick leave like a john. Where should I meet you?


WITH THE AFTERNOON appointment set, Mary changed into her bikini to enjoy the noontime sun out on the lawn with Georgine. On her way out of the suite, she swiped all of the holocubes off, except for the breezeway with the Languishing Leena. This one she placed in the center of the coffee table. Then she threw on a robe, grabbed her shades, and headed for the door. But before she could leave, a phone call arrived from Bishop Meewee. “Tell him I’m unavailable,” she instructed Lyra.

“He says it’s of the utmost urgency.”

Everything is of the utmost urgency with that man.” Mary returned to the living room, and Lyra put the call through.

Meewee appeared in Mary’s living room as a full-sized holo. “Mary Skarland, my favorite person,” he said, making a holo salute. “Thank you so much for seeing me.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Mary replied. “We don’t see each other often enough. What can I do for you?”

Meewee opened his mouth to speak but seemed to be having difficulty getting started. He walked once around the coffee table and stopped to stare for a long moment at the ailing Leena. Then he made a second circumambulation before finally halting directly in front of Mary and saying with starch in his voice, “Mary, I need to see Ellen. Today. Right now.”

Assertiveness did not become the man, in Mary’s opinion, and she replied, “You know I don’t run Ellen’s calendar, Myr Meewee. Lyra does. I’m sure you’ve already approached her about it, and she’s turned you down, but, honestly, she’s the only one who can grant you access. Not me.”

“You underestimate your influence around here,” Meewee replied.

But Mary couldn’t be swayed. “Ellen is going through a lot right now, and we’re finally making some progress. I would hate to see her lose ground. I don’t mean to be hurtful, Myr Meewee, but Ellen told me in no uncertain terms that she does not want to see you. Period! But I suppose I could pass her a message if you had one.”

“Thank you, but a message won’t do.” Meewee stared down at Mary’s small, sandaled feet for a long moment, then looked up into her eyes. “Mary Skarland, I would like you to remember that day, not so long ago, when you stood before me, your arm bleeding, your clothes torn and stained. You were clutching a rolled-up bag containing the dying head of Ellen Starke. Do you remember that day?”

Mary flinched. Remember that day? If only she could forget it.

“That was the first day we met, Mary. I brought Dr. Rouselle and the portable tank to the clinic, remember? It cost me the life of a friend to accomplish that. You were a hero that day, there’s no denying it. But you didn’t save Ellen’s life by yourself, did you? That’s why I claim the privilege to speak to you like this, though I can see it pains you. Would you say, Mary, that on that day at the clinic your mission was grave?”

He waited until she nodded her head, and then he said, “My mission today is grave.”


“NO, MAX, NO!” Ellen shrieked, trying to shield herself with baby hands. The dachshund twisted its elongated body like a towel and sprayed water in all directions. Ellen squealed and grabbed him around the neck, but the little dog refused to drop the throw toy. He wriggled free and tore off across the lawn, with the pygmy giraffe in hot pursuit and Ellen in her wet sundress toddling behind.

Not far away, Georgine and a nuss lay on lawn loungers and watched. Georgine in a bikini and the nuss in a gold-and-yellow Capias uniform. The nuss got up and said, “I’ll just go for dry clothes.”

“Good idea,” Georgine said to her back. But then she saw Mary and Bishop Meewee coming down across the lawn and heading toward Ellen. Mary was walking, Meewee was floating, and his holo was washed out in the bright sun. “Oh, damn,” Georgine said, hopping to her feet to intercept them.


ELLEN LAY ON her back on the sloping lawn and hugged the wet dog. The intruders blotted out the sky with their big, serious heads. She glanced from one to the other, and fixing her gaze on Mary, said, “I thought I made my wishes in this matter clear.”

“You did,” Mary replied simply. “But this matter, by all accounts, is grave.”

Ellen turned her gaze from Mary to the ghost of Meewee. Meewee cleared his throat and said, “What a signal day to be gamboling on all fours with a duo of furry friends.”

Ellen lifted her arms, but before Mary could bend down to pick her up, the nuss nurse, who had joined them, snatched Ellen and balanced her on her capable hip. Now Ellen was nearly level with Meewee, and she said in an even voice, “What do you want, Myr Meewee?”

Just as evenly, Meewee replied, “Halcyon summer is winding down, as always, too soon. Don’t you agree?”

“Go away, Bishop. Please, just go away. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

The baby pointed her finger for the nurse to turn her. They turned toward the duck pond, turned their backs on the Meewee holo.

The dachshund Maxwell grew quiet to watch the increasingly tense encounter. But Jaffe the giraffe, reacting to the same cues, galloped about on its oversized legs in nervous agitation. It halted abruptly in front of Meewee’s holo and said, “Bad man go away!”

Mary silently dittoed the sentiment and added: And quit with the mumbo-jumbo!

But Meewee was immune to everyone’s wishes, and he said to the nurse’s gold-and-yellow backside, “Have you ever given a thought to the venerable art of bookbinding?”

Mary was about to apologize to Ellen for bringing this madman, when Ellen turned the nurse around and peered intensely at him. Ellen’s adult mouth fell open, and the blood drained from her face. Meewee continued in a perversely conversational tone. “I seem to recall in the back of my head that you have a library of antique books. If you’d like, I could demonstrate how they were originally bound.”

At this, Ellen all but swooned in the nurse’s arms.

“Hey, what’s going on?” the nurse said. “Ellen, are you all right?”

At that, the dachshund joined the fray. But with a less than clear understanding of holo images, the dog chose to confront the nurse instead of Meewee, and it barked furiously at her from a safe distance. “Maxwell, shut up!” the baby cried. “Shut up!” Color returned to her cheeks, and the little dog and giraffe cowered at Mary’s feet. Ellen peered at Meewee and said, “All right, Bishop Meewee, I’ll go along, but this had better be good.”

Meewee’s apparition vanished without a sig. Ellen looked around at everyone and said, “Why don’t we all go in and put on some clothes. It looks like we’re going for a ride.”

No Picnic

“Call it a picnic,” Ellen said from the front of the cart. The head nurse sat in the front seat with Ellen on her lap. If it was a picnic, it was a picnic without blanket or basket, and the pets had been left behind. The two evangelines sat in the rear, and Mary fretted over the time.

Don’t worry, Mary, Lyra whispered in her ear. I’ll make sure you leave in time for your appointment.

Thank you, Lyra.

The often-bumpy ride took them past rows of ever-ripening soybimi to an hourglass-shaped fish farm pond. Meewee, in the flesh, was waiting for them in his own cart. Ellen told the nurse to set her on her feet and for everyone to stay in the cart. Using Meewee’s hand for support, she walked down the grassy bank, but Meewee had to carry her over the rocky apron to the water.

From the cart they were small figures, and the nurse opened up a frame in front of her for a close-up. Georgine and Mary leaned over her shoulder to watch.

Ellen was standing on the rocky shore. Meewee picked up a stone and flung it into the water. Suddenly hundreds of fish rose to the surface. They raked the water with their dorsal fins and tails for a very vigorous ten seconds. The women could hear the rippling all the way from the cart. Then the fish submerged, and baby Ellen fell on her bottom. She sat looking out across the crazed surface of the water for a long time. Meewee crouched next to her and neither of them spoke for many minutes. Then they were both speaking at once.

“What in the world?” the nuss said. Which was what Mary and Georgine wanted to know.

Meewee stood up and stretched his legs before leaning over to pick up Ellen. He carried her across the rocks, but when he put her down on the grass she couldn’t walk, so he carried her all the way to her cart.


MEEWEE RODE BACK with them. He sat in the front with Mary. Ellen and the nurse sat in the back with Georgine. There wasn’t a syllable of conversation during the ride back to the Manse. Lyra was waiting with nuss reinforcements on the drive. Two jay security men stood on opposite ends of the porch steps.

The nusses put Ellen into her stroller, and Ellen steered it up the steps, with the others climbing up behind. At the top she turned the stroller around and, when Meewee came level with her, said, “That’s far enough!”

Meewee and the others stopped in their tracks.

“I don’t know how you pulled off that little stunt,” she continued in a grown-up voice. “I wouldn’t think it even possible. But don’t imagine for one second you had me fooled.”

“It was not a stunt,” Meewee said mildly.

“Shut up!” Ellen cried, kicking her legs in fury. “It was a cruel stunt. I would like to give you the benefit of the doubt, Myr Meewee, because you were her employee, and I understand you still grieve for her, but your sources have sold you a lie. And I cannot let this despicable charade go unpunished. Lyra!”

Her mentar, already standing on the porch, took a step forward.

“Lyra, I want you to drain every fishpond on this property.”

“No!” cried Meewee.

“Drain them and do likewise on all Starke properties. Drain every feckin’ last one of them. Start at Starke Enterprises headquarters, where Myr Meewee resides. And don’t bother harvesting the fish. Let them rot in place. Is that clear?”

“Yes, I am to drain all Starke-owned fish farm ponds, starting with the Starke Enterprises campus, and leave the fish to rot in place.”

“Good. And you —” She turned back to Meewee, who was ashen with horror. “I’m finished with you, myr. You’re fired, terminated, relieved of all office and duties, effective immediately. Clear out at once or be cleared out. Now get out of my sight forever.”

Meewee was clearly not expecting this turn of events. “You don’t understand,” he insisted.

“I understand your maniacal devotion to your GEP dream, but I never imagined you’d go to these lengths to try to manipulate me. For your information, your spiteful attempt to trick me only confirms my decision to sell Heliostream. Now go away or I’ll have you escorted out.”

It took Meewee several long moments to turn and trudge down the steps. Ellen addressed the evangelines next. “My friends usually try to look out for me and not force me into awkward or painful situations. I’m not feeling very friendly toward you right now, and I’m not sure I want you around.”

Her stroller promptly did a 180 and rolled into the house, with all of the clucking nusses close behind. No doubt, there would be an after-hour celebration in their quarters tonight.

When the evangelines were alone with Lyra on the porch, Mary said, “That was no picnic.”

Georgine took her arm. “Come on, we need a drink.”

“Actually,” Lyra said, “Mary needs to leave soon to make her appointment.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Georgine said, escorting Mary up the steps. “You won the auction. Good luck with that.”

“But what about all this?” Mary said.

“This? This will blow over.”

Squeaky Clean

When Fred arrived at their apartment, he had only a half hour to clean up and change. An arbeitor waited in the foyer and caught the things he tossed from his pockets: a couple of medallions and tokens, an omnitool, a pocket billy — his walking-around things. He kept the NanoJiffy purchase and took it with him to the bathroom.

On the way through the bedroom, he told the closet to make him a semi-casual ensemble for the appointment. In the bathroom, he opened the NanoJiffy bag and spilled its contents onto the counter: a tube of Detox-O Cleanser and a home wipe-down kit. He reached under the collar of his johnboy for the rip tab and tore the jumpsuit off him in one pull. He stepped out of his underwear. When he broke the Detox-O seal, a flurry of consumer protection warnings popped up in the mirror. He waved them all away and, taking a deep breath, squeezed a bead of cleanser on his forearm. The stripping agent soaked into his skin on contact and spread like a rope burn all up and down his body. Fred set the mirror timer for the recommended five-minute duration, but the cleanser began to bite so fiercely everywhere that he was hard-pressed to last that long. When the timer finally chimed, Fred hopped into the shower stall and scrubbed the cleanser off under numbing cold water. He gradually increased the water pressure until he couldn’t feel anything anymore.


WHEN FRED STOOD again before the mirror, his skin was brilliant pink, the result of a full body chemical burn. He was cleaner than clean. He opened his second purchase, the home wipe-down kit. He lifted his knee to rest his foot on the vanity counter, exposing his poor lobster-red genitals. He unfolded the towelette and wiped down his scrotum. Then he lowered his foot to the floor and let out his breath.

Fred rolled up the towelette and inserted it into the kit’s results tube. He screwed on the lid, checked the seal, and rapped the tube against the edge of the counter to break the glass vials inside. While the tube was analyzing the wipe-down sample, the autodoc dispensed Fred a soothing skin lotion. When he turned again to the mirror, his results were up.

The enlarged map of the towelette filled the mirror. It was covered in tiny colored glyphs that linked to a legend along the side. Fred was still hosting on his scrotum over thirty distinct kinds of bots, even after the most thorough scrubbing he could tolerate. The cumulative census total continued to rise: 13,000, 18,000. Each bot, if he could pin down its owner, was an invasion of his constitutional privacy and a misdemeanor offense. The difficulty, of course, was in pinning anyone down.

The count topped out at 52,000. Fred donned his freshly extruded clothes and tucked the results tube in a pocket. He thought his results might make a dandy show-and-tell for the relationship session. “Looky here, I have 50,000 spydots on my balls alone.”

In the foyer, the arbeitor handed him back his walking-around things, which he arranged in his pockets. The pocket billy gave him pause. Take a pocket billy to a relationship session? What would that say? So, he tossed it back to the arbeitor, pulled his trusty Campaigner 3000 on his head, and set off.

Marching Orders

Meewee hurried back to the Starke Enterprises campus, not to oversee the packing of his apartment or office, but to take a cart out to the nearest fishpond. Sure enough, two aslams, in their gold-and-yellow overalls, were shutting down the pumps and leaving behind a basalt and muck-lined crater of writhing panasonics.

Meewee stood at the top of the bank and took in the carnage. he cried, and a thousand desperate howls answered him. Meewee wanted to dash into the muck and try to save one or two of her tiny brains, but an armed guard, a jay, was watching him. Meewee turned around and returned to his cart, but he found no relief there — Cabinet was waiting for him. How he hated the old hag and her juiceless wit. “Well, well,” she said when he climbed into the cart, “seems like I’m always escorting you off the premises, your excellency. Maybe this time it’ll stick.”

Meewee pretended to ignore her and told the cart to shut off its holoemitters. But the cart informed him that his user privileges had been revoked.

“Don’t worry, Meewee,” Cabinet said. “I’ll let it take you back. I don’t want to hold up your departure.”

“No, thanks,” Meewee said and climbed out. “It’s a fine day for a walk.” He set off down the path without another word. But he hadn’t gotten ten paces when he thought of a perfect rejoinder, and when he turned to deliver it, he noticed that the mentar’s persona had not moved. It seemed frozen in place, like a statue. He returned to look at it closer. Its wrinkled old face seemed caught between two expressions. Meewee sucked in his breath — he’d seen this before. Wee Hunk, during their final showdown at the clinic, had frozen up just like this. As Meewee examined the glitching holo, it vanished, startling him.

He asked Arrow to tell him what had just happened, but his mentar didn’t answer. It did not.

Without warning, Cabinet reappeared in the same spot where it had been. Instead of the elderly chief of staff, it now wore the attorney general persona, a member of the Cabinet Meewee hadn’t seen in a while. The mentar blinked and looked curiously at Meewee. Then it turned all about to survey its surroundings. When it turned back to Meewee, it said, <“I was never a big fan of farmed fish.”>

Meewee was about to utter a sharp retort when he was struck by the realization — it had just spoken in Starkese! And it was challenging his ID. He hastened to answer and offer a challenge of his own. “As for me, I can’t get enough of it, especially when it’s fresh out of the water.”

“Then again, I love fish head soup,” the mentar replied, “but for that you want the heads to be pretty ripe.”

Meewee was speechless. The old mentar had answered his challenge, and he wasn’t sure what to say next.

The mentar made a holo salute.

Twenty ninety-seven was a quarter century before Meewee had even met Eleanor.

It was silent as it struggled to make sense of things.

The mentar knitted its bushy eyebrows in a classic Eleanor expression. Meewee had always related to this persona better than the others, perhaps because it was like Eleanor’s older sister. it went on.

Meewee gestured at the writhing mass at the bottom of the pond.

The attorney general cocked its head, as though listening to distant voices.

The mentar took a moment before replying

All at once, Meewee remembered his recent flight over the Pacific.

But Meewee’s mentar failed again to respond, and Cabinet said

The cart rolled up to Meewee. He jumped in and clung to the handle-bars as the cart took him at an incautious speed back to the reception building.

Going to See Someone

The addy for the relationship counselor led him to the lower lobby of the Nestlé Tower off Daley Plaza, but when Fred arrived, Mary was nowhere to be seen.

Hi, hey, she said when he paged her. I’ll be right there. I’m out visiting the baboon.

Fred went to the window wall overlooking the plaza. Daley Plaza, at Munilevel 000, was a concrete park sixteen square blocks in area that served as the floor to Daley Well, the deepest traffic well in the Midwest. It boasted unobstructed airspace 507 munilevels to the top of Nestlé Tower and the blue skies beyond. It contained four pairs of spiral interchanges that served all major traffic arteries on all major munilevels. Thousands of vehicles climbed up and down the magic bean stalks every minute, like tornadoes of taillights, like twirling ropes of shiny beads, like a living sculpture three kilometers high.

By comparison, the twencen Picasso baboon sat like a rusted doorstop in the center of the plaza, like some kid’s discarded metal shop project, like the afterbirth of the Industrial Age. Fred couldn’t conjure up a baboon in its simple shapes. If anything, he saw the head of a dairy cow. Other people saw other things; that was probably why it was called art.

Fred picked out a figure on the main pedway connecting the Picasso to the Nestlé. An evangeline — was it Mary? Fred confirmed her transponders in his visor, and while he was watching, the pedway came to an unexpected halt. Pedestrians were thrown off balance and were falling over each other. Another hairball?

Then everyone on the plaza stopped what they were doing and looked up into the chimney of the well. Fred pressed his cheek against the glass but couldn’t get the angle. He found Mary again, some meters away from the stalled pedway, limping to a park bench. “I see you. Hang on. I’m coming.”

Fred, wait! It’s not safe.

But he was already through the pressure curtain and sprinting toward the baboon. The moment Fred left the building, he tasted panic in the air. It was intensified by an illegal subaural alarm that jarred his bones — a two-note dirge, like a silent foghorn that was felt as much as heard. A bee flew at his face, almost tripping him up, and screeched, “Flee! Flee! The Wreckers are here! Flee! Flee!” before racing away.

There was a terrific thud overhead, like a giant boxing glove hitting a brick wall, and Fred glanced up to see a cargo van careening out of a downward spiral. Fortunately, it was scooped up in a safety lane and chuted to a soft touchdown on the nearest munilevel. But its short fall was enough to spook the thousands of plaza pedestrians who began a stampede to the emergency portals. They filled the paths and forced Fred to cut across a stone fountain.

As he ran, he tagged the spirals overhead in his visor, which blossomed with travel advisories ten layers deep. “Mary, are you hurt?”

Yes, my knee. I can’t walk.

There were sounds of more collisions overhead, and cars were falling into safety lanes by the dozen.

“I saw you on a bench. Is it made from conplast?”

I think so.

There were so many collisions, the safety lanes were overwhelmed, and cars, vans, and buses started to spill out and fall into the well.

“Crawl under it right now, Mary! Don’t hesitate! Do it now!”

By the time he reached her bench, vehicles were hitting the plaza with impact-absorbing thuds, like rotten fruit. Fred paused to catch his breath and did a snap assessment. The bench was, indeed, molded conplast, and nearly indestructible; Mary fit snugly under it. Options: carry her through the impact area or shelter here.

The question was answered a moment later by a big black limousine right on top of him. Fred dove behind the bench and the limo struck meters away and cartwheeled over them, slamming the bench with debris.

“Are you hit?” he asked. She wasn’t. Fred didn’t quite fit in the space under the park bench, so he crouched next to it and watched for falling cars. The city traffic midem had apparently regained control of the grid, and the sounds of collisions were tapering off.

Mary said, “It’s over.”

“Only the bombardment part. Next comes the pillaging. Look!” An army of freakish mechs began to invade the plaza. They surged out of storm drains and service vents, from side streets and arcades.

“They won’t bother us,” Fred said without knowing if that was true. “We need to shelter here.” He took off his Campaigner hat and pulled its floppy brim, stretching it to its limit. He covered both Mary under the bench and himself with the hat like a rain poncho.

“How’s the knee?”

“Bad.”

“I don’t have anything on me for the pain, sorry.”

“I’ll survive. By the way, love the hat.”

“It sorta grows on you.”

Mary and Fred watched the full-throttle wrecker attack from their court-side bench. Scavenging mechs came in a stunning variety. They were bizarre assemblages of cannibalized parts from other machines. There was the lawn scupper chassis with acetylene torch arms; the utility cart with grappling hooks and improvised armor; a gaggle of rat-sized, leaping metal snips.

The scavenger mechs swarmed over the fallen limo. Doors and side panels vanished. Three hapless limo passengers hung in their crash pods like bugs in blue amber as the car around them was cut, gouged, and ripped to pieces, and then carted away by tiny tractors.

“By the way,” Fred said, “in my own defense, I would like to point out that even though the sky is raining cars and buses, and I see slipper puppies going by with frickin’ flamethrowers attached to their heads, I’m not blaming this on the nits.”

“That’s encouraging to hear, Fred.”

A subtle change came over the chaos outside their shelter. A sturdy mech with flailing teflon spikes impaled a tractor and hauled it off, along with its spoils. Fred had already checked his pockets, and now he checked them again. He sorely missed the pocket billy. What a foolish gesture it had been to leave it behind.

Buzzing, crushing, dive-bombing mechs entered the fray, and vicious fights broke out everywhere as thieves stole from each other. The only possible weapon Fred had on him was the omnitool, and its best tool for the job was probably the little plasma spot welder. Given the anatomy of his adversaries, he might be able to cripple them with a few strategically placed spot welds. It was better than nothing.

But in the end, hand-to-hand defense was unnecessary. Like pulling a switch, all the fights ceased at once, and all the surviving mechs scattered to their boltholes, dragging whatever treasures they could manage. After a minute, all was quiet on Daley Plaza.

Fred said, “The hommers must have arrived.”

Mary said, “Good. If we hurry, we can still make part of our appointment.”

That was the last thing Fred had expected to hear. He’d lost all thought of the relationship meeting. Was it so important to her that even a full-scale wrecker assault was merely an inconvenience? “What about your knee?”

“We can stop at a NanoJiffy on the way.”

Fred had his doubts, but he got up and checked their surroundings. HomCom and police GOVs had indeed arrived in force. Fred lifted the Campaigner off Mary. Its outer surface was pitted and scorched. He helped Mary to her feet. “Can you stand?”

She tried, but her knee was swollen like a melon, so he picked her up and held her in his arms. “You know, your injury is probably more than what a NanoJiffy autodoc can handle. And the police undoubtedly have a cordon.”

“Just drive, Fred.”

“Yes, boss.” Fred took a few steps toward the Nestlé. “I mean, can’t we just reschedule?”

“Oh, Fred, you are so innocent.”

The matter was taken out of their hands moments later when a hommer bee arrived and dropped a frame of a bored-looking russ proxy in a Watch Commander uniform. He said with a lazy drawl, “Myren Skarland and Londenstane, this area has been declared a SIZ. Do not leave it without authorization. Remain where you are; medical treatment is on its way.”

“Busted,” Fred said.

“It’s like you wanted to be stopped.”

A crash cart raced over to them and lowered two seats. In a caring but authoritative voice it said, “Please sit for treatment.”

Fred placed Mary in one seat and took the other. No sooner had he sat down than the cart informed him, “You are not injured, Myr Londenstane. Swipe for medical release.” Fred hopped off and swiped.

Meanwhile, the cart covered Mary’s swollen knee in a blister wrap and cleaned and sealed her minor cuts and scrapes. All the pain lines melted from her face. Behind her, at the carcass of the limo, another cart was midwifing the three passengers from their crash pods. First, the blue gel liquefied, and then the tough bags burst, birthing the grateful survivors on the bare pavement.

“I’ll tell you what,” Fred said. “We can cut out the middleman and do the session ourselves.”

“What? Here?”

“Right here, right now.”

“Yeah, right,” Mary said. “You won’t even talk to me in our own bedroom, and you’re going to talk out here in public?”

Fred motioned at all the official activity in the plaza. “We’re in a comm fog; we’ll have pretty good privacy for a while. Just tell me what you were going to tell the counselor.”

Mary wasn’t so sure. “It’s not as simple as that,” she said. “Part of the reason for going to a counselor in the first place is for the perspective they bring to what might otherwise sound like a litany of harsh and hurtful things.”

“You’ve never had any difficulty telling me hard things in the past.”

“You really want to do this here?”

The cart peeled the blister wrap off Mary’s knee. Her knee looked good as new. With a hint of swagger in its voice, the cart said, “You may go now, Myr Skarland. Swipe for care instructions and medical release.”

Fred helped Mary stand, but her knee felt fine and she didn’t need his support. They went back to their bench to sit down and finish what they had started. First, they hugged for a while, and then Fred whispered, “I love you, Mary.”

“I know that, Fred,” she whispered back. “And I love you. I say this out of love. What I was going to tell the counselor was that you’ve become a different person. Or maybe we both have, which is probably the case. But whichever it is, I don’t know if the new me wants to be with the new you anymore.”

Fred didn’t know how to respond, though it was more or less what he had expected to hear. “How bad is it?”

Mary rested her head on his shoulder. “The problem is I like the new me, and I don’t want to go back to our old life. I can’t tell you what to do — or how to think — but I just don’t see us going on like this forever.”

There really wasn’t much more to say, and they sat quietly while her words sank in. When a hommer bee flew over and declared, “You are both free to go,” they hardly noticed it. So they were surprised a few minutes later when straining legions of media and witness bees soared overhead, crisscrossing the plaza in search of anything of interest to look at.

“Oh, crap!” Fred said, scanning the airspace above them. “We’d better make a run for it. The tube station over there has the nearest MEZ. Think you can run, or should I carry you?”

“I’m not running anywhere, Fred.” Mary stood and turned up her jacket collar, exposing her Blue Bee escort. It had been there the whole time, waiting in reserve. It dropped off and flew away to lose itself in the menacing swarm above. Mary held out her arm to Fred. “We’ll walk to the station, like civilized people, and woe be to the mech that gets in our way.”

To the Mem Lab

Cabinet was giving Meewee last-minute instructions in the ready room outside a null lock in one of the lower floors of the Starke headquarters arcology. It was a null room Meewee had never used before.

Meewee replied. He opened a flask of Visola 54 and chugged the vile brew. One thing was sure, working for Eleanor Starke involved way too much time in null rooms. It seemed that every time he got all of his internal flora, fauna, and implants to coexist in respectful harmony, he had to purge them again. Meewee tossed the empty visola flask to an arbeitor stationed next to the hatch.


MEEWEE TOUGHED OUT the itchy, half-hour cleansing in the lock, and when the inner hatch undogged and the pressure equalized, he was surprised to find himself entering not any kind of secret lab, but what looked like the inside of a private Slipstream car. It had a much narrower interior than a normal car and no windows at all. Everything in the car appeared to be fireproof; even the seats, which were padded with cushions of ceramic wool. Next to one of the seats was a liter flask of Orange Flush and a portable toilet.


FOR A WHILE, the ride was unremarkable, a normal tube ride underground, but not long into it, the car slowed down, then stopped, and there were loud clanging sounds fore and aft. The interior of the car grew warm and stuffy, and the walls were warm to the touch.

Fortunately, it didn’t last long, and soon the car resumed its journey. After many turns and much high-speed coupling and uncoupling, the car slowed and stopped again. Something grabbed it in a solid grip, and the hatch clamps rang like hammers. As Meewee was unbuckling his harness, there was a burst of electronic static, and an unfamiliar female voice said, “Please state your name and what business you have here.” It struck Meewee as an amazing utterance, because it was an ID challenge that meant exactly the same thing in both English and Starkese. Until that moment he hadn’t been aware that such phrases existed.

Meewee thought it prudent to reply in Starkese

Recruitment Day

Others might have seen it as a demotion to a station in life that, incredibly, was lower than regular john duty. And that was how Fred first saw it when Ajax, the John Union mentar, informed him of his transfer to the night shift. He didn’t complain. He went along with it in part to spite Mary through self-debasement. Or at least, that was what he accused himself of doing. You bet I’m a new person, he’d tell her. I’m a graveyard-shift john!

And so, Fred left the morgue crew. He reported to his first 1:00 A.M. shift and was assigned to Node B5 at the Chicago Inter-Tube Port. It didn’t take long for him to realize that he had arrived at an unexpected oasis. First, the hangarlike node was an exclusion zone, which meant that all the hungry media bees hounding him were left at the door.

Second, Fred was the only human at the node. He swiped in as the swing-shift john swiped out, and the sixty-acre site was his alone to manage till 10:00 A.M. He didn’t have to deal with people at all. His job was to oversee midem-controlled Node B5 machines. Machines that didn’t actually need any such human oversight. Fred mostly stayed out of their way as they intercepted up to fifteen hundred van freighters per hour for gamma-ray inspection.

The machines were so clever that they rarely malfed, and when they did, they hardly needed a john to tell them how to self-repair. The CITP node operated twenty-five scanner tunnels that towed freighters through in both directions while inventorying and analyzing everything inside them. Whenever the midems found something of interest, which was rare, they alerted the hommers themselves. Fred’s whole responsibility, it seemed, was to be there — just in case. The machines were so quiet that even when working at full speed of one freighter per tunnel/minute, the large bustling space was hushed. And Fred’s endless, pointless, rambling rounds were downright meditative. After only a few shifts, he was actually looking forward to coming to work.

Fred’s demotion to Graveyard Johnny threw Fred’s and Mary’s schedules completely out of sync, and they saw little of each other over the next few weeks. But even this seemed to be a blessing in disguise.


AT 3:07 A.M., during a moderately busy shift, the Node B5 tranquility was shattered by a throat-ripping, nerve-scraping screech of metal. Fred stopped short and turned toward the sound. Lane 6 was shutting down, and its traffic was shunted to 7 and 8. A major transport plate had cracked its frictionless coating and tore up itself and a dozen more plates before grinding to a halt.

As the rest of the facility hummed along as usual, Fred went to check out the damage. His visor cap painted the interior of the hub with field and radiation overlays, and he threaded his way along the bluest shadows along his route.

The special repair ’beitors were hefty brutes in their own right. Two of them straddled Lane 6. One was lifting a section of scanner tunnel while the second replaced slide plates beneath it. The intact sections of tunnel were locked down; their radiation count was cool blue. Fred stepped inside one of these for a better view of the repair work. It was the most excitement he’d seen all week.

After a half hour of machine Zen, Fred noticed a buzzing underneath his feet. The radiation count was no longer blue; it had crept up the scale to turquoise, which meant the node midem was spinning up the gamma-ray scanner for the section he was still inside.

“Hey, B5, a warning would be nice,” he said and didn’t wait for a reply — the interior of the tunnel had risen to lime yellow, on its way to orange, and orange meant hard rads — but when he stepped onto the catwalk to exit, he was startled to find someone blocking his way. A man, apparently, short and broad, in a hazmat suit. Through the facemask the man had the flattened-nose-in-panty-hose look of a tugger, but he was only about half a TUG in size. He pointed a standstill wand at Fred, and when Fred recovered from his surprise, he turned to glance at the other end of the catwalk. There was a second mini-tugger stationed there as well.

“Uh, B5, this is an emergency,” he said, but his radio received only digital dropout in reply. By then the tunnel interior was solid orange. This time, Fred did have a pocket billy on him, not the best defense against a standstill wand, but better than a spot welder. He fetched it from his pocket, but before he could flip it open, another squat figure in hazmat gear entered the tunnel.

“Stand down, Commander,” she said.

“Veronica TUG?” Fred was mystified. He was unable to match the familiar voice to her diminished figure.

“Veronica, yes, but no longer TUG.”

“I see, and as you can see, I’m no longer a commander.” He pinched the material of his johnboy jumpsuit. “And this suit isn’t rated for sunbathing. So, step aside.” He made an attempt to go around her, but her man waved the wand in front of his face.

“Listen, Londenstane,” Veronica said reasonably, “the sooner I say my piece, the sooner we can all leave. The little bit of burn you suffer as a result you can soak away in a tank. Your visorcap is protecting your brain, so can we please move on? We have a lot of ground to cover and not much time.”

But Fred flipped his pocket billy open. “That’s easy for you to say, protected in those hazmat suits.”

“We’re not wearing these for radiation, though I admit that’s a side benefit. These are so we can meet with the most heavily surveilled person on the planet without anyone putting us closer to him than a hundred kilometers. We suited up inside a null room far from here, after a thorough purge, which means that as long as we’re inside these suits, we’re outside the nitwork. Meanwhile, your own spybots are frying, so we can speak with complete security. It’s time for you to pay down your debt to us, and I’m here to tell you how.”

It all made perfect sense in a paranoid sort of way. Meanwhile, the tunnel was turning orange-red, on its way to doing serious damage. Fred pocketed his billy. “So, get on with it already.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“But first tell me why I should even listen to you. My debt is to the TUGs, and you say you’re no longer a TUG.”

“Don’t misinterpret my change of uniform. What we discuss here has everything to do with your debt to us. I’m sure I can convince you of that if you’d like.”

Fred shook his head.

“Good. We need your help up at Trailing Earth where the Oships are being provisioned.”

“What kind of help?”

“We want you to take charge of one of the transshipment docks.”

“What for? Smuggling contraband?”

“You have a problem with that?”

Fred grinned. “As a john, no. In case you haven’t been paying attention, Applied People doesn’t hire me for russ duty anymore.”

“They’ll hire you for this, Commander. With all the labor turmoil going on up there, russies are transferring off the station in droves. Nicholas can’t replace them fast enough. Your type seems to have met its match, the dreaded Capias World donalds, and the situation is jamming up our operation. We feel confident that Applied People will not only hire you to go, but they’ll probably give you a signing bonus. Plus, they’ll be thrilled to keep you out of media reach for a while.”

“The media would just follow me up there.”

“Not likely. There are no free media at Trailing Earth. It’s a corporate station, so there’s limited access and no flying mechs whatsoever. Tiny mechs tend to gum up the air generation systems and are banned. So are spybots, and you know what else? The nitwork is also prohibited. There are no nits in space.”


THE LUMBERING REPAIR ’beitors lowered the tunnel section and noisily removed themselves from the lane. Fred’s visitors slipped away, and he moved immediately to a radiation shadow. His visor totted up his exposure levels and ordered him to report to the CITP autodoc. Fred could feel the hot, half-cooked nits under his skin. It might be interesting to visit a land without nits.

As if he had any choice.

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