Mr. Darcy's Diary

December

Bingley came to dine with me today. He has been busy this last week, but he arrived punctually this evening and was very much taken with Georgiana.

‘She is turning into a beauty,’ he said to me. ‘And she is so accomplished,’ he added, when she played for us after dinner.

She is. I had almost forgotten what it is to listen to excellent playing, and I could not help an inward shudder when I thought of Mary Bennet’s playing and compared it to Georgiana’s. Elizabeth’s playing was sweet, it is true, though it was not so accomplished as my sister’s, but there was still a quality about it that made me want to listen.

Caroline called to see Georgiana this morning, and I entertained her until my sister’s music lesson was over.

‘Charles was very taken with Georgiana last night,’ she remarked. ‘He said that Georgiana was one of the most beautiful and accomplished young women of his acquaintance.’

I was well pleased. Caroline seemed pleased, too. I think she would not be averse to a marriage between them.

‘Are you going to visit your aunt in Kent before Christmas?’ she asked.

‘No, I think not, though I will probably visit her at Easter.’

‘Dear Lady Catherine,’ said Caroline, removing her gloves. ‘How I long to meet her. Rosings is a fine house, by all accounts.’

‘Yes, it is, very fine indeed.’

‘Such a pleasant part of the country.’

‘It is.’

‘I suggested to Charles that he should look for a house there. I would be happy to live in Kent. But he felt Hertfordshire was better placed. A pity. He would have avoided certain entanglements if he had settled elsewhere.’

‘He is free of them now, however.’

‘Yes, thanks to your intervention. He is lucky to have such a friend. I would find it a great comfort to know that such a friend was looking after me,’ she said, looking up at me.

‘You have your brother.’

She smiled. ‘Of course, but Charles is still a boy. One does so need a man at times, someone of depth and maturity, who is used to the ways of the world and knows how to live in it.’

‘Have you no plans to marry?’

‘I would, if I met the right gentleman.’

‘Now that you are in London you will have more chance of meeting people. Bingley means to arrange some balls, I know. I have encouraged it. The more pretty faces he sees over the next few weeks the better. And for you, it will extend your social circle.’

‘It is not so very constrained. We dine with more than four-and-twenty families, you know,’ she remarked satirically.

I was reminded of the Bennets, as she intended I should be, but if she knew the exact form of my thoughts I doubt she would have been so pleased. No matter what I do, every conversation seems to remind me of them in some fashion. It is fortunate that I have stopped thinking about Elizabeth, otherwise the Bennets would never be out of my mind.

Bingley occupies himself with business and is in good spirits, though now and then I catch a wistful look in his eye.

‘You are sure she felt nothing for me?’ he asked this evening, when the ladies had withdrawn after dinner.

I did not need to ask whom he meant.

‘I am sure of it. She enjoyed your company, but nothing more.’

He nodded.

‘I thought she could not…such an angel…still, I hoped…but it is as you say. She will marry someone from Meryton, I expect. Someone she has known all her life.’

‘Very probably.’

‘Not someone she has only just met.’

‘No.’

‘She will not miss me, now I am gone.’

‘No.’

He was silent.

‘There is a great deal to be said for marrying someone one has known all one’s life, or at least for a long time,’ I said.

‘Yes, I suppose there is,’ he said, but without any real enthusiasm.

‘Their defects are already known, and there can be no unpleasant surprises,’ I continued.

‘It is as you say.’

‘And it is as well to know, and like, their family. Georgiana will marry someone she knows, I hope,’ I said.

‘Yes, it would be a good thing,’ said Bingley, but without real interest.

A pity. I thought his affections were turning in that direction. However, I have made the point, and in the future he may remember it.

I have had my mother’s pearls restrung for Georgiana, and mean to give them to her as a present. She is old enough for them now, and I think she will look well in them. Whilst I was at Howard Gibbs, I enquired about having the rest of my mother’s jewellery remodelled. It is of good quality, and much of it has been in the family for generations. I have arranged for the pearl brooch and earrings to be reset at once, and I will give them to Georgiana for her next birthday. I have arranged to take in the other pieces of jewellery so that they can be examined and sketches for new settings made. The sketches can be altered to accommodate any changing fashions and the pieces can be reset as Georgiana becomes old enough to wear them.

I dined with Bingley and his sisters. During the course of the evening we talked of the Christmas festivities. There will be some large parties for us to attend, but in the days immediately proceeding Christmas I would like to arrange a few small private parties with no one but the Bingleys, so that Georgiana can attend.

‘I thought I would have a small dance on the twenty third,’ I said, ‘and then charades on Christmas Eve.’

‘An excellent idea,’ said Caroline.

‘I have invited Colonel Fitzwilliam, which will make us four gentlemen and three ladies. Do you think I should invite any more ladies?’ I asked Caroline.

‘No,’ she said emphatically. ‘Mr Hurst never dances, which leaves us with three couples.’

My thoughts went back to Bingley’s ball at Netherfield, where I danced with Elizabeth.

‘Have you decided when Georgiana will make her come out?’ asked Caroline, as if reading my mind.

‘Not until she is eighteen, perhaps later.’

‘Eighteen is a good age. She will have left the schoolroom behind her and overcome her shyness, but will have the fresh bloom of youth. She will break a great many hearts.’

‘I hope she will not break any. I want her to be happy, and if she should happen to find a good man in her first season, I will be glad to see her settled.’

Caroline glanced at Bingley.

‘In two years, then, we must hope she finds someone worthy of her. Someone with an easy temper, who is generous and kind.’

‘That would be the very thing.’

‘In the meantime, it will be good for her to have the company of a personable young man, so that she is used to male company and does not become tongue-tied when in gentlemen’s presence. She is never tongue-tied with Charles, but seems to enjoy his company,’ said Caroline.

‘What is that you are saying?’ asked Bingley, who had been talking to Louisa, but who looked up when he heard his name.

‘I was saying that Georgiana is always easy with you.

Darcy wants her to enjoy some adult entertainments this Christmas, and I am sure he can rely on you to dance with her.’

‘Nothing would give me greater pleasure. She is becoming a beauty, Darcy.’

I was gratified.

The house is looking festive. Georgiana has been helping Mrs Annesley to decorate it with holly, tucking pieces of the greenery behind the pictures and around the candlesticks. She has always liked doing this, ever since she was a young child. When I arrived, I found her adorning the window in the drawing-room with more greenery.

‘I thought we would have a dance in a few days’ time,’

I said.

She flushed.

‘Just a small one, with our intimate friends,’ I reassured her.

‘Perhaps you would like some new ribbon to trim your muslin,’ said Mrs Annesley to Georgiana.

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, looking at me hopefully.

‘You must buy whatever you need,’ I replied.

I was about to say she should buy herself a new fan when I thought better of it. I will buy one for her myself, and surprise her with it.

Today we had snow. Georgiana was as excited as a child, and I took her into the park. We walked along the white paths and returned to the house with flushed faces and hearty appetites.

I could not help remembering how flushed Elizabeth had looked after her walk to Netherfield. Her eyes had been sparkling, and her complexion had been brightened by the exercise.

Where is she now? Is she walking along the country lanes around her home in the snow? Is she at home, arranging holly, even as Georgiana is arranging it here? Is she looking forward to Christmas? If I had not kept Bingley from Netherfield, we could all be there now…which would have been a very grave mistake. It is better for all of us that we are in London.

We had our dance this evening, and I was gratified to see Georgiana enjoying herself. She danced twice with Bingley, once with Colonel Fitzwilliam and once with myself.

‘Georgiana moves with extraordinary grace,’ said Caroline.

It was a subject that could not fail to please me.

‘You think so?’

‘I do. It was an excellent idea to hold a private dance.

It is good for her to practise at these sorts of occasions.

You dance very well, Mr Darcy. You and I together can set her an example. Charles and I are at your disposal if you should wish to hold another such evening. It can do Georgiana nothing but good to see others dancing, and it will help her achieve confidence and poise.’

I was reminded of another time when she had praised me, saying how well I wrote my letters. I recalled the scene exactly. It had been at Netherfield, and Elizabeth had been with us. I felt a stirring of something inside me as I thought of her. Anger, perhaps, that she had so bewitched me?

Our dance broke up. Our guests left, and I had the satisfaction of seeing Georgiana retiring to bed, tired but happy.

She has completely forgotten George Wickham, I am sure of it. As long as nothing reminds her of him, I do not believe she will think of him again.

We had our game of charades after dinner this evening. I was pleased when Caroline thought of suggesting that Georgiana and Bingley work on their charade together.

They retreated into a corner of the room, their heads close enough to be almost touching. It was a most pleasing sight.

The charades were very enjoyable, and after we had all performed, we went in to supper.

‘Do you know, Darcy, I thought we would be spending Christmas at Netherfield this year,’ said Bingley with a sigh. ‘That had been my plan when I took the house. I wonder what they are all doing now.’

I thought it wiser to turn his thoughts away from this direction.

‘Much the same as we are doing here. Take some more of the venison.’

He did as I suggested, and said no more about Netherfield.

I have never enjoyed a Christmas day more. We went to church this morning and this evening we played at bullet pudding and snapdragon. As we did so I noticed a change in Georgiana. Last year she played as a child, enjoying the novelty of putting her hands into the flames to snatch a burning raisin, and blowing on her fingers when she was not quick enough to emerge unscathed. This year, she played to please me. I could see it in her eyes.

I wonder if Elizabeth plays at bullet pudding and snapdragon. I wonder if she burnt her fingers as she snatched the raisins out of the flames.

‘I wonder you do not think of marrying Miss Bingley,’ I said to Colonel Fitzwilliam as we rode out together this morning.

‘Miss Bingley?’

‘She is a wealthy young woman, and you are in need of an heiress.’

He shook his head.

‘I do not wish to marry Miss Bingley.’

‘She is charming and elegant, gracious and well bred.’

‘She is all those things, but I could not marry her. She is a cold woman. When I marry, I would like a wife with more warmth. I would also like someone who will look up to me, rather than someone who will look up to my family name.’

‘I never knew you wanted that from a wife,’ I said in surprise.

‘As a younger son, I have had to look up to others all my life. I would like to experience the situation from another side!’

He spoke lightly, but I think there was some truth in what he said.

We rode on in silence for some way, enjoying the snow-covered scenery.

‘How long will you be in town?’ I asked him.

‘Not long. I have business which requires my attention in Kent. I mean to pay my respects to Lady Catherine whilst I am there. Shall I tell her you will be visiting her at Easter?’

‘Yes, I will visit her as usual. When will you be returning to town?’

‘Soon, I hope. Before Easter, certainly.’

‘Then you must dine with me when you do.’