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31. Camomile Tea

After the concert I was more confused than ever. ‘I know it sounds weird,’ I said to Serafina, ‘but it’s almost as if he wants to be my friend.’

‘With friends like that you don’t need enemies.’

‘No, really. Obviously he’s some kind of crazy but he could be entering a new phase of it, or even coming out of the current one.’

‘That’s as may be but I don’t think I’d buy a used car from him.’

‘Maybe he’s got no intention of killing me. Maybe he’s so rich he can amuse himself by seeing what happens when he picks up some loser and makes the offer he made me.’

‘Is that what you are, a loser?’

‘That’s how I felt and I expect that’s how I looked when he found me in Piccadilly Circus tube station.’

‘Which brings us back to the question: if losing me made you a loser, why did you let it happen?’

‘We’ve been through all that, Fina. It’s like dehydrated shit and you keep adding water and stirring.’

‘I don’t want to but it keeps not going away.’

The phone rang. It was Mr Rinyo-Clacton. ‘Jonathan,’ he said, ‘I need to talk to you. Please.’ He sounded humble; it was shocking.

‘What about?’ I said in a dead voice.

‘Everything. Can we meet?’

‘I’m not sure.’

‘God! You sound so hostile!’

‘Well, as you said, Thanatophile, I’m chained to the rock of my inadequacy.’

‘Look, this is a strange thing we’ve got ourselves into but we can still talk, can’t we? You like talking to me sometimes, I can feel it.’

‘Which reminds me, you’re probably recording this very conversation from one of those bugs I haven’t found.’

‘Some people are voyeurs; I’m also an auditeur, I can’t help it, and I like the sound of your voice.’

‘Well, you can get your jollies playing this back but I need not to be bothered by you for a while.’

‘Jonathan…’

‘What?’

‘This could be the last time.’

‘You mean you intend to harvest me already? All the more reason to stay away from you.’

‘I have no intention of harming you. I humbly ask you as a friend — and in some mysterious way we are friends — please give me an hour of your time tomorrow.’

Somehow, the balance of power was changing; doomed as I was, I was becoming the stronger one. Perhaps I wasn’t doomed? ‘All right, meet me in Earl’s Court Road in front of the tube station tomorrow afternoon at half-past five. Come by underground, maybe you’ll make new friends on the way.’

‘Five-thirty — I’ll be there.’

‘What is it with you and him?’ said Serafina. ‘I’m beginning to think that the buggery established a real bond between the two of you.’

‘There’s certainly something between us and I can’t say I understand it.’

‘Let me know if you ever do.’

‘You’ll be the second to know.’

Serafina made tea for us, camomile, then we went to bed with a space between us. It took me a long time to fall asleep. I kept hearing him say, ‘This could be the last time.’