Murder of a Bookstore Babe

CHAPTER 4

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

“And then she tried to make me sign a petition against Tales and Treats.” Skye sat on a bench in front of Bates Pharmacy. It was Saturday morning, and she and Trixie were supervising the school newspaper’s bake sale.

“Is she out of her mind?” Trixie shrieked, jumping up and down in her seat as if she were a baby in a bouncy chair. The two students standing behind the folding table full of goodies glanced her way, and she lowered her voice. “Why would an English teacher want to close down a bookstore?”

“Because she’s an idiot.” Skye watched her friend fidget. As well as cosponsoring the Scoop with Skye, Trixie was the high school librarian and coached the cheerleading squad. To say Trixie’s energy level made a hyperactive squirrel look sedate was an understatement. “She’s sure it will turn our kids into vampires and porn stars.”

“Oh, my . . .” Trixie had just taken a drink of Mountain Dew, and it spewed into the air.

“Yeah.” Skye grabbed a tissue from her purse and handed it to Trixie. “That was my reaction, too.”

“What are we going to do about it?” Trixie gazed expectantly at Skye. “We won’t let her get away with it, right?”

“Well, I didn’t sign her petition.”

“Like that’ll stop Without-a-Clue Pru.” Trixie blotted the electric yellow liquid from her pale pink T-shirt. “You and I need to nip her scheme in the bud.”

“What makes you think we can stop her?”

“’Cause we’re smarter?”

“Maybe,” Skye acknowledged. “But she’s as persistent as a smoker’s cough.”

“Then we’ll have to find some way to persuade her it’s in her best interest to back off.” Trixie put her right hand over her heart. “As a librarian I’m sworn to oppose censorship of any kind.”

“Really?” Skye raised a brow. “Did you have to take an oath in library school or something?”

“Nope.” Trixie got to her feet and walked toward the bake sale table. “It’s implied.” Once she finished cajoling an older gentleman into buying a pie, two plates of cookies, and a tin of fudge, she returned to her seat. “So, what’s the plan?”

“It’s your pledge. You figure out the plan.” Skye took the last sip of her Diet Coke and tossed the empty can toward the garbage container. “And while you’re at it, you’d better figure out a way to stop my cousin Hugo, too.”

“What’s he got against the bookstore?”

As Skye got up, retrieved the can from where it had landed on the ground, and deposited it in the trash, she explained about the parking situation, ending with, “Then he said, ‘My dad’s the mayor of Scumble River and my cousin here is engaged to the chief of police.’ ”

“You know I’m still mad at you about that, right?” Trixie narrowed her brown eyes. “How could you possibly not tell me that Wally proposed?”

Skye cringed. “I said I was sorry. It’s just that I wasn’t sure I was going to accept, and it seemed cruel to tell anyone if I ended up saying no.” Wally had popped the question last November, and Skye had apologized to Trixie a hundred times since announcing their engagement three months ago, but any mention of it rekindled her friend’s hurt feelings. “I was trying to save him from being embarrassed.”

“Are you saying I can’t keep a secret?” Trixie demanded.

“No.” Skye knew she had to tread carefully. “If I had confided in anyone, it would have been you.”

“I bet you told someone.” Trixie dug into her jeans pocket, pulled out a miniature Butterfinger, and stripped off the wrapper. “Did you tell Vince?”

“No. Considering his profession, there was no way I would have told him.” Skye’s brother owned the Great Expectations hair salon, and gossip was as much part of the service he offered as an excellent haircut. “I promise you, no one knew.”

“Including me,” Trixie muttered. “Everyone got to see your ring before me.”

“You were in Europe, and I called you the night I accepted,” Skye almost screamed in frustration. “You know, one of the things I’ve finally accepted is that no matter how good friends you are with someone, there will come a time when they hurt you, and either you keep losing friends or you learn to forgive them.”

“Fine.” Trixie drew out the word. “I’ll forgive you, but you have to tell me a secret. Something no one else knows.”

“I don’t have any secrets,” Skye protested.

“Everyone has secrets.”

“Okay.” Skye exhaled loudly. “A few months back I had to go to a lingerie shower for one of my second or third cousins. One of the games was that as the bride opened her gifts you had to write down your first impressions. Well, my cousin is extremely flat chested and someone got her a Wonderbra, so I wrote, ‘I wonder what she’s going to put into it.’”

“So, what’s the big deal about that?”

“When they read the slips out loud, the bride got hysterical and that pretty much ended the party. Luckily the comments were anonymous. If Mom knew it was me, she’d never let me hear the end of it.”

“Oh.” Trixie was well acquainted with the Wrath of May.

“Now”—Skye frowned—“can we get back to the current problem of how to stop Hugo and Pru from shutting down the bookstore?”

Trixie ran her hands through her short faun-colored hair. “I have an idea.”

“Okay,” Skye’s tone was cautious; Trixie was even more impulsive than she was. “What?”

“I’ll dig up something on Pru, and you take care of your cousin Hugo.”

“No.” Skye shook her head. “Mom will kill me if I do anything to upset the family.”

“You don’t have to upset them.” Trixie finished her candy bar and licked her fingers. “Just make sure Hugo moves his cars.”

“Right.” Skye sneered. “Because he always listens to me about stuff like that.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Trixie shrugged. “You’re good at that.”

A couple of hours later, when the last of the baked goods had been purchased and the Scoop staff had packed away the table, Trixie and Skye went into the pharmacy to thank the owner for letting them use the space in front of his store.

As they waited for Mr. Bates to finish filling a prescription, Trixie poked Skye in the shoulder. “You did too tell someone that Wally had proposed to you.”

“Shh!” Skye scowled at Trixie. Several customers had turned to look at them. “Not now.” Even though it was nearly impossible in a town of three thousand people, half of whom Skye was related to, she tried to keep her love life private.

Trixie ignored Skye’s command for silence. “You told Simon.”

“Shut up.” Skye resisted an urge to put her hand over Trixie’s mouth and instead dragged her behind a display of feminine products. “I thought you forgave me.”

“That was when I thought you hadn’t told anyone else.”

“As I explained to you, I only informed him before I accepted because of . . . Well, you know.” She was uncomfortable discussing Simon’s vow to win her back.

“Still.” Trixie sniffed. “You did tell someone.” A tear slid down her round cheek. “And it wasn’t me.”

“I’m so sorry.” Skye swallowed, touched by Trixie’s pain. “What else can I say?”

“You can say that you’ll help me save Tales and Treats.”

“Of course I will. I don’t want it to close any more than you do.” Skye hugged Trixie. “Pick me up at two for the grand opening.”

Skye was waiting on her front porch when Trixie’s car roared into the driveway. Skye checked to make sure the front door was locked, then walked down the steps and climbed into the passenger seat. A lot of people in Scumble River didn’t bother with deadbolts, but Skye had had a few too many close calls with deranged killers to leave her door open.

As Skye was buckling her seat belt, Trixie said, “I figured out how to find some dirt on Pru. I’ll use the Internet.”

“Really?” Skye asked, tucking her purse behind her legs. “How?”

“I’ll Google her.”

“Oh.” Skye had finally begun accepting that the computer was a viable tool, but she still wasn’t comfortable with some of its features, like search engines. “Every time I try to find information that way, I get a zillion hits and end up wasting more time than if I had just looked it up in a book.”

Trixie flung the Civic into gear and stepped on the gas. Her prized Mustang convertible was long gone, sold to pay off a debt, but she still drove as if she were racing on the NASCAR circuit. Skye gripped the dashboard as Trixie backed out of the driveway without even glancing in the rearview mirror.

“Oh, stop flinching.” Trixie slowed to a modest sixty. “You know I’m a good driver.”

“How about all those tickets you’ve gotten?”

“The speed limits are ridiculous.” Trixie tossed her head. “I’ve never been in an accident.”

The constant acceleration and braking were making Skye motion sick, and she closed her eyes. Finally, the car stopped and Skye looked around. Trixie had parked the Honda nearly half a mile from the bookstore. “Can’t you get any closer? At this rate we could have walked from my house.”

“I circled twice.” Trixie checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. “All the parking spots are filled with your cousin’s used-car inventory.”

“Shoot.” Skye got out of the Civic and tugged her black jeans into place. “I hope that doesn’t keep people away.”

“There was quite a crowd by the entrance, so I think today it’ll be okay. During normal business hours, when they aren’t giving away free refreshments, it might be a different story.” Trixie linked an arm with Skye’s, and they headed toward the shop. “Anyway, walking is good for you.”

“If that’s true, why does the mailman look like Jabba the Hutt?”

“You are so not funny.” Trixie snickered. A few minutes later, she said, “Look.”

“At what?” They were a block away from Tales and Treats, and all Skye could see was that the half dozen wrought-iron tables and chairs arranged in front of the large front window were fully occupied. “You knew it would be packed.”

“Not that.” Trixie pointed to the entrance. “That.”

“Crap.” Skye hadn’t expected Pru to rally her troops so soon, but a small group of women holding protest signs was marching in a circle in front of the store’s entrance.

“Get a load of Pru’s Crew,” Trixie hissed.

“Yeah, but where’s their leader?” Skye asked.

As Trixie lifted her hands in puzzlement, one of the women thrust a leaflet into it. “Have you found Jesus Christ?” The picketer was a young blonde with long straight hair held back with a cornflower blue headband.

“Yes.” Trixie crumpled the flyer and deliberately dropped it on the ground. “He was behind the sofa the whole time.”

“If you’re a good Christian, you won’t go in,” the blonde persisted.

Skye gripped her friend’s arm, not sure what Trixie would do, but before she could say anything, an older woman with snow-white hair and a face that looked like a dried apple joined the first and said, “Now, dearies, just turn around and go home. I’m sure sweet girls like you have no idea this place is a den of iniquity.”

“The hell we don’t.” Trixie narrowed her eyes. “Censorship is the real evil.”

While Trixie was arguing with the protesters, Skye read the various protest signs. ROMANCES ROT YOUR BRAIN. SCIENCE FICTION IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL. DO YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER READING PORN? STICK TO JANE AUSTEN AND JULES VERNE.

Skye didn’t catch what was said, but suddenly the Alice in Wonderland look-alike slapped Trixie in the face.

“That was assault!” Skye moved in front of her friend. “Which means if all of you don’t get out of our way, I’m calling the police.”

“Just try it!” Alice screamed.

The protesters linked arms and chanted, “No cash for this trash.”

The picketers formed a circle around Skye and Trixie when they attempted to walk into the store. Skye blew out an irritated breath, then grabbed her cell phone from her purse, but before she could dial, two of the male demonstrators pinned her arms to her sides. Trixie seized the waist of one of the men, but another guy took hold of Trixie’s shoulders.

Just as Skye was wondering if they would end up forming the world’s record for a human chain, a long-legged, middle-aged redhead whom Skye knew all too well, dressed in hot pink capris, a matching spandex halter, and stilettos, barreled into the fray. She wielded her huge magenta pocketbook like a giant flyswatter, whacking protesters aside as if they were mosquitoes. A sturdily built teenage girl wearing cropped camo cargo pants, a white T-shirt, and flip-flops was right behind her swinging a backpack with the same precision.

“How can you do this?” the dried-apple-faced woman sobbed as the demonstrators scattered. “Aren’t you concerned about the morals of your community?”

“I used to care about stuff like that,” the redhead said, raising a perfectly plucked brow, “but I take a pill for that now.”

Once Skye had stopped laughing, she thanked her rescuers, then turned to the redhead. “Bunny, what are you doing here?”

Bunny Reid, aka Skye’s ex-boyfriend’s mother, was a former Las Vegas dancer with a penchant for clothes from Victoria’s Secret and men who broke her heart. She was the last person Skye would have expected to see at a bookstore.

Bunny enveloped her in an Obsession-scented hug. “Frannie talked me into it.” Bunny was the manager of the local bowling alley, which her son owned and where Frannie Ryan, the teenager with the backpack, worked part-time. “She’s got me hooked on those Harlequin romances. Those hot ones are better than a copy of Playgirl magazine.” Bunny winked. “When I finish one of those I just want to find some stud and say, ‘Squeeze me like a grape and make me wine.’”

“Do you like those, Frannie?” Frannie was one of Skye’s favorite former students. They were extremely close, and Skye was surprised the teen hadn’t mentioned her plans to attend the Tales and Treats grand opening.

“No.” Frannie shook her head. “But I remembered you saying that in order to get people to read, it’s important to give them books that will interest them, not what you think they should be reading, and Ms. Bunny is interested in . . .” She trailed off, her cheeks red.

Skye hadn’t meant to embarrass the girl and was trying to think of a way to change the subject when Trixie came to her rescue by asking, “How did you get such a good parking spot, Bunny?” She looked pointedly at an old red Camaro, parked smack-dab in front of them.

“I’ve got my ways.” The redhead nodded to a handsome older man sitting at one of the outdoor tables. “In fact, I’d better go thank him. When I saw you two under attack, I forgot my manners.”

Skye wondered briefly whether Mr. Distinguished was Bunny’s new beau, but Frannie distracted her by saying, “Let’s go inside. I want to say hi to Kayla.”

“Are you two friends?” Skye asked.

“Sort of.” Frannie opened the shop’s door. “We were both interested in some of the same colleges and went on campus visits together, but she still really wants to get out of Scumble River, and me, not so much anymore.”

Skye was about to follow Frannie and Trixie into the store when she heard her name being called. Turning, she saw her mother hurrying toward her, May’s four best friends bringing up the rear.

“Hi, Mom.” Skye waved. “I didn’t know you were coming here.”

“We decided to give it a look-see at the last minute.” Skye’s mother reached up and pushed a stray chestnut curl off Skye’s cheek, adjusted her daughter’s blouse, and brushed a piece of lint off her jeans. May’s own short salt-and-pepper hair was perfectly coiffed, and her brown tweed pants and matching jacket looked as if they had just left the ironing board—which they probably had. “Glory and Hester wanted to get some books, Maggie’s checking out the pastry competition, and Kitty and I are here just to be neighborly.”

Skye nodded. She knew her mom and aunt never passed up an opportunity to socialize.

May added, “Besides, Thea called and said there was some excitement here.” Like May, Thea was a dispatcher for the Scumble River Police Department. “People wanting to close down the store.”

“Someone called the cops?” Skye wasn’t surprised her mother and her friends didn’t want to miss the action. Gossip was better if acquired firsthand.

“The owner. She said there were protesters blocking her entrance.” May frowned. “But Wally said as long as they are on the sidewalk, which is public property, he can’t stop them. Some nonsense about freedom of speech.”

“The police take the constitution pretty seriously,” Skye confirmed. “Wally had no choice until they attacked someone, like they did me a few minutes ago.” Oops! Skye knew she shouldn’t have said that the moment the words left her mouth.

“See!” May’s voice was shrill. “How can you marry someone who won’t even protect you? Simon always tried to stop you from putting yourself in danger, but Wally goes and makes you the police psych consultant.”

“Mother!” Emerald eyes that matched May’s own blazed. Her mom didn’t approve of Skye’s engagement to Wally, who was older, divorced, and not Catholic. There was nothing he could do about the first issue, and he was trying to get an annulment to address the second; Skye wondered whether her mother would come around if he converted, which would solve the third problem.

“Yes?” May’s expression was angelic.

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, a fact Wally understands and applauds. I am not getting back together with Simon.” Skye gritted her teeth. Why couldn’t May accept that? Of course, Simon’s sudden determination to win her back at all costs wasn’t helping matters.

“We’ll see.”

“I’m marrying Wally as soon as he gets an annulment.” Skye and Simon had broken up more than two years ago, when he’d refused to explain how he “forgot” to mention that the college friend he was staying with on his trip to California was a woman. By the time he finally did clarify the situation, it was too late. “Deal with it,” Skye told her mother.

“Look how hard Simon is trying,” May wheedled.

He had actually shown up at her parents’ house last Sunday while they were all having dinner together and serenaded Skye with “Love Me Tender” from outside the kitchen window. His voice hadn’t been half bad, but the Elvis outfit was a bit much.

“Drop it, Mom.” Skye crossed her arms. “I mean it. Unless you want me to elope.”

May looked stricken. “Don’t even tease about something like that. I’ve been planning your wedding since you were born.” She clutched her chest. “I’m going to be at both my kids’ weddings if it’s the last thing I do.”