Never Come Back

Chapter Sixty-one

Uniformed police officers and paramedics remained at the house, milling around and discussing town and work gossip. They took turns showing Ronnie their cruisers and wagons, listening patiently as he asked questions about the most common reasons people dialed 911.

I used the phone while we waited. I called Paul and told him about the events of the night. He offered help immediately, insisting on coming over to the house to make sure we were all okay.

“No, it’s all right,” I said. “We’re almost finished here. In fact, we’re going to need a place to stay tonight. I don’t think I want to stay in the house after… you know, another dead body and everything.”

“Of course,” he said. “You can stay here.”

“We might have to sell this house,” I said. “It keeps accumulating bad memories.”

“Absolutely. Your mom was never attached to those kinds of things very much. Get a new house.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come over there and pick you and Ronnie up?” he asked. “I can.”

“I don’t think so. I’m going to wait for Beth. She might come along with us. I don’t know if she’ll be up for driving back to Reston Point.”

Paul fell silent for a moment. “Okay,” he said. “I just… Is she doing okay? Overall. You know?”

“I don’t know the answer to that either,” I said. “But I guess I have to find out now. She’s my sister.”

It took another half hour for Detective Post to come back out of the house. Beth walked beside her, wearing a Dover Police Department sweatshirt against the cool night air. I walked up the sidewalk toward them, and the three of us met halfway. Post didn’t stay long. She excused herself, saying she needed to consult with someone from the medical examiner’s office out in the street.

I immediately wished she would have stayed.

Beth and I faced each other on the narrow sidewalk. It took a moment, but I reached out to her, opening my arms. “I hope you’re okay,” I said.

We hugged. She felt thin and insubstantial, almost as if she might slip away at any moment. She held to me longer than I held to her. When we let each other go, Beth said, “I think they’re going to bring the body out soon. I could tell they were getting ready to move him.”

“Would you like to leave?” I asked.

“I guess I should,” she said. “There isn’t much else to do here. And it’s a long drive in the dark.”

“I don’t mean go home,” I said. “I don’t think you should go back there alone.”

She looked at me, waiting.

“I talked to Paul,” I said. “We can go to his house and stay there. He has room, and it looks like it will all be safe now.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t—” She looked around at the night. She looked at the yard and at the sky. Then she turned back to me. “I can’t be here with you if there’s any chance you believe those things that Gordon said. Either about me or about Mom. I’m a mess—I admit that. But I’m not like him. I’m his daughter, but I’m not him. All I ever wanted was to see Mom again. If you can’t understand that or accept it, that’s fine. But it’s not true. None of those things he said were true.”

I looked back at the house. It was still full of light, but it felt farther away than ever. Mom was gone. Dad was gone. At some point, a page had been turned. It was time to move forward, and I could do it alone or with the help of others.

“I know,” I said. “Why don’t we all go to Paul’s house?”