No Return

42

The only person who saw them leave was Michael Dillman.

“Don’t tell me you’re going home already?” Dillman had asked.

“Beer run,” Lars announced.

Dillman grinned. “Cool. Bring me back a couple, huh? Something good.”

“You got it,” Lars shouted over his shoulder.

Dillman wandered back toward the path to the party while Wes, Lars, and Mandy climbed into the VW van.

They rode down the hill in silence, both Wes and Lars stealing glances at Mandy and at each other. Mandy, though, had withdrawn into herself and was staring blankly at the dashboard.

“It’s going to be all right,” Wes said, just before they reached the highway.

She mumbled something, then shook her head.

“It’ll be fine,” Lars said, trying to sound upbeat.

“It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have been … I shouldn’t have …”

“Mandy, there’s no way it’s your fault.” Wes looked over at her. “You can’t think that way.”

“It is my fault! Who else’s could it be? Oh, God, I can’t believe it.”

Wes veered the van to the side of the road and stopped. He turned to her and grabbed her hands. She jerked back slightly, but he didn’t let go. “You did absolutely nothing wrong. Not a damn thing. You are not to blame for what happened.”

She looked up. In her eyes Wes could see fear and helplessness and despair.

Her hands began trembling in his. “Someone’s going to find out,” she whispered. “And when they do …” Her gaze started to dart around, panicked. “I need to get out.” She pulled her hands away, and grabbed at the door handle, but missed. “I need to get out!”

Wes reached for her shoulder. “Hold on.”

She screamed, “No!” Then she shoved the handle downward. The door opened and she all but fell outside.

“Mandy!” Wes yelled.

She stumbled away from the van, into the darkness.

Without a word, both Wes and Lars jumped out and ran across the desert after her. When they finally reached her, she was on the ground, retching and crying. For the next thirty minutes, they could do little but watch that she didn’t hurt herself as she sobbed. Finally they tried to coax her back to the van.

It was the pact that finally did it.

“How can you be sure?” Mandy said, her tears finally subsiding.

“We’re sure.”

“Say it again.”

“We’ll never tell a soul,” Lars said.

“We’ll never tell a soul,” Wes repeated. “I promise, no one will ever find out.”

She stared at the two boys for several seconds as if she was waiting for one of them to take it back.

When they didn’t, she nodded. “Okay. I promise, too.”