Obsession

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ONCE THE SHOCK of his words wore off, a cold, stark image came to Emma, worming into her brain like some kind of insidious bug, tunneling its way in and bringing with it all the pain, all the horror, all the truth she’d been trying to escape. For a second, for just one single second, she actually thought she might agree. Everything would be over that way, wouldn’t it? Facing the consequences of what she’d done here, facing the fact that she’d never have her children, even facing the truth of Raul’s betrayal, it would all be in the past, part of her history.

She’d be dead; she wouldn’t care.

Then she thought again, and the truth of what her death would really mean came to her. It would mean he won. And no one, except Raul, would know the truth. Within a very short time, he would probably be dead, too. Kelman would find a way to murder him, or almost worse, lock him up again, and then Kelman would be free to do whatever he wanted.

Suddenly she understood the depth of Raul’s commitment to this evil man’s destruction. If she’d been Raul, she would have been equally committed. She would have used him just as he’d used her, if it meant stopping this man. She closed her eyes and forgave Raul, forgave him and accepted that she loved him-even though he’d never know that either.

“Drink up, Emma. Wash down the pills.” Kelman spoke almost compassionately. “All of them.”

She locked her eyes on his. “When hell freezes over.”

He waited, as if thinking about what to do, then all at once, he was at her side. In a heartbeat, he had both bottles open and her jaw in his hand. Slapping his other hand over her nose, he cut off her breath. She lasted as long as she could, her vision growing dim, until nature took over and she opened her mouth to gasp in air. Instantly, he poured in the pills and liquor, then he snapped her mouth shut and held her face tight.

“Swallow,” he said, all pretense gone. He shook her face. “Now!”

Choking and gagging, Emma tossed her head violently but after a few seconds, the inevitable happened. She swallowed. Then swallowed again. The vodka burned, the taste of it unbelievably strong as it mixed with the pills and began to dissolve them. He kept her jaws clamped together and she continued to fight. In a moment it was over and he released her.

Still on all fours and coughing uselessly, Emma scrambled to the opposite corner of the room, her breathing ragged and hoarse. She opened her mouth and tried to spit. There was nothing left, though. She’d swallowed all of it. She lifted her head, her stomach churning. She wanted to curse him, to scream, to attack him as she’d planned, but all she could do was stare at him blankly.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with an air of casual calmness as he waited for her to die.

DESPITE EVERYTHING, some vestige of the man he’d once been still lived in Raul. He knew this was true because it’d never been his intention to kill Kelman. But as he leaped over the wall separating the two houses and sprinted for Emma’s house, this last reminder of who he had been disappeared. Rage and pent-up frustration filled him, and he could think of only one thing: seeing Kelman dead. It was no longer enough to take his money or ruin his life. Raul wanted to kill him. Preferably with his bare hands.

The front door was locked. Cursing, Raul turned and ran to the back of the house. Someone had already jimmied open the door off the terrace. He stepped inside the house, his heart pounding loudly enough to reveal his presence, he was certain. He paused and forced himself to listen.

There was nothing but silence, then he heard conversation, faint but definitely there. He lifted his face to the ceiling and wished he could see through the rafters to the floor above. They were there, but where? And doing what? Did Kelman have a weapon?

It didn’t really matter. Raul slipped through the house and made his way up the stairs, pulling the drunk’s ancient pistol from the waistband of his pants. Holding his breath, he paused at the top, his hand on the doorknob. He turned it slowly, then exhaled a prayer of thanks when the knob gave way. He tensed, then threw open the door.

The room was empty.

But from the adjoining bathroom, the muted sound of voices could be heard. He crossed the bedroom, stopping once more when he reached the door to the bath. The sound of Kelman’s smug voice, mixing with the low and pleading tones of Emma’s, reached out and grabbed Raul. The sensation was physical; he felt it come under the door and jump up and choke him.

With his hand gripping the pistol, Raul put his shoulder to the door, twisted the knob and burst into the room.

EMMA SCREAMED as the door flew open, but it was a reflexive action borne of survival. Her body and mind had already started to shut down, the drugs beginning their work. Lying in the corner of the room, she fought to focus, blinking rapidly, but the man tumbling into the room moved too fast for her to follow. Even Kelman’s voice, as he bellowed in surprise, came to her from a well. It was stretched out, too, like music played too slow, the name he uttered making no sense to her cloudy brain.

The two figures wrestled in the tiny confines of the bathroom, their curses and grunts signaling the violence of their fight. Emma commanded her legs and arms to lift her up and get her out of the hell she was in, but they wouldn’t listen. It was all she could do to raise her head from the cold marble floor. A second later, the two men came crashing in her direction, locked together, rolling as one. She tried to escape the inevitable, but she simply couldn’t move. The two heavy bodies collided with her limp one. She blinked and cried out, the knee of one of the men slamming into her stomach.

Her breath left her in a whoosh, and the jolt of it, the pain of it, cleared her mind, if only for a second. Raul came into focus. He was on top of Kelman, struggling to hold him down, a gun in his hand only inches from her face. She strained to figure out where the gun had come from-hadn’t Kelman left it downstairs? Before she could reason it out, Raul lifted Kelman’s wrist and smashed it into the marble, the sickening crunch of breaking bone sounding above their rasping breaths.

“Take the pistol,” Raul screamed. “Take it, Emma! Take it and shoot him!”

Their eyes connected, but Emma could no more have seized the weapon than she could have fired it accurately. In another second, the two men rolled away from her. Instead of moving inches, they seemed to travel miles. Paralyzed, she watched them go, but before they did, she saw the expression in Raul’s wild gaze. It was pure disbelief. He didn’t understand why she refused to help. He didn’t know it was because she couldn’t. He believed it was because she wouldn’t.

It was her final thought. Emma’s eyes rolled back into her head and everything else disappeared.

EMMA’S REFUSAL stunned him, but his instincts kicked in and saved him from distraction. Raul pounded Kelman’s hand once more into the marble, the pistol trapped between them, neither willing to release his grip. Raul should have shot him the minute he’d pushed open the door, but he’d been too startled once he’d seen Emma. Kelman had taken advantage of the moment and managed to grab the gun.

Kelman’s knuckles were bloody and ragged, yet he continued to hold on. Another whack against the marble and this time something bigger broke. Raul heard the snap and took advantage of the moment. He popped Kelman’s wrist one more time, then twisted it. The gun fell free. Unable to get to it himself, Raul did the next best thing. He batted the pistol with his elbow and sent it spinning into a corner. He wouldn’t be able to reach it, but neither would Kelman.

Using the opportunity to twist away, Kelman jumped to his feet. His wrist dangled uselessly before him, but he suddenly lunged forward. Raul followed his movements with his eyes, his heart stopping as he saw what had happened. The gun had lodged beneath the tub, caught by one of the old-fashioned legs. In one quick motion, Kelman bent down and picked it up with his good hand, swinging around to fire.

Raul searched for a weapon. Strangely enough, he saw a cane lying in a corner. He didn’t stop to wonder about it; he picked it up and gripped it with both hands. The gleaming silver top hissed through the air with the force of his swing.

It connected with Kelman’s head. And the other man went down without a sound.

Raul turned instantly to Emma. She was a crumpled ball in the corner, her limbs splayed, her body slack. Then he saw the empty bottles and understood. He lifted her head gently. “Emma? Emma, can you hear me?”

Her head lolled sideways and his heart almost stopped. He started to scream her name again, but then he saw her throat move, saw the faint pulse at the base of her neck. Too slow to be okay, too faint to last long. He picked her up and ran from the room.

TWO DAYS LATER, it seemed like a dream. A very bad dream. Emma’s throat still burned from the attentions of the doctors, but it wasn’t important. Her children were safe, she was alive.

And Kelman was dead.

The Bolivian police had been exceedingly cooperative. Emma knew it had more to do with Raul’s friend Wendy Fortune and her position than it had to do with the situation. The consul had gotten involved, and everything had been handled so smoothly Emma had been shocked.

Chris had been happy to have the whole thing resolved without the bank’s name being mentioned. He’d had no idea of Emma’s machinations. No idea that she’d rigged Kelman’s account. No idea she’d planned everything. Including Kelman’s death.

She wondered now what she’d been thinking. Had she really been prepared to kill him? She’d fired, yes, but she’d missed. Had that been deliberate? She’d never know now and she wasn’t really sure she wanted to.

Sitting on the terrace at the back of the house, Emma held the portable phone to her ear and closed her eyes, the sunshine on her face warm and healing, the voices she was listening to, even more so. Jake was babbling about catching a fish, and Sarah was saying something about a sand castle and the princess who lived inside it. Emma let them talk. She didn’t care if the conversation made sense. They were perfectly fine and thought they’d simply had a great vacation at Gulf Shores the week before. After another minute, Todd came on the line and shooed them away.

“Emma, you gonna be all right? Were you hurt bad?” Someone hearing his question might have thought he was concerned; Emma knew it meant just the opposite. Todd would be thrilled if she died and he didn’t have to factor her into his plans anymore.

“I’ll make it.” Her voice was whiskey hoarse and raw. It was painful to talk, and as she spoke, she moved, then winced. Her whole body was bruised, black and blue marks everywhere she looked. Kelman’s last legacy. “I need a few days to rest, that’s all.”

“The man who killed this Kelman fellow. You know him well?”

“He’s a friend,” she answered in a neutral voice.

Raul had come by to see her numerous times, but Emma had been so out of it Reina had sent him away each time. Emma had heard their voices downstairs, though. Reina had told him about Emma’s hours in jail. Raul’s reply had been too low to hear. They still hadn’t talked, but when they did, Emma didn’t know what she’d say.

Todd broke into her thoughts, and the minute he spoke, Emma knew she was in trouble. He had that gloating, I’m-in-the-catbird-seat kind of tone to his voice. “Listen here, Emma, I want you to know, I’m very upset about this situation. You have, once again, put our children in danger, and I don’t intend to let this slip by. I’ve already talked to the lawyers, in fact, and we’re considerin’ some kind of action.”

A clamp tightened around her heart, making it hard for her to breath. It had nothing to do with her injuries. “Some kind of action? What does that mean?”

“It means we know you’re up to your same old tricks. You’re bein’ irresponsible and not thinkin’ about your children.” He took a self-important breath, dragging out the moment. “It means I’m gonna have to do something about this again, just like I did before.”

Through her fear, Emma heard his words. She wasn’t surprised by his reaction, but instead of the defeat she usually let overcome her when he talked like this, a new emotion suffused her. Anger. Total and complete anger.

Her fury mounted, and when Todd finally ran out of steam, she spoke through clenched teeth. “I handled this situation the best way I knew how, and frankly, I did a much better job taking care of it than you ever could have done. If you think you’re going to use what happened to your advantage, you-and your lawyers-have got another think coming.”

He made a scoffing sound. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Emma. You screwed up-again-and the judge will see right through this, just like he did before.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so.” He mocked her, speaking in a higher voice. “And just what makes you think that, Emma Lou? Nothing’s changed, you know.”

“You’re wrong,” she said quietly. “I’ve changed. I’m a different person than I was the last time we spoke, and I’m not taking your crap anymore.”

He started to sputter a response, but she didn’t give him a chance to finish it. His entire life he’d gotten what he wanted by using his name and his family and his money, but deep down inside, he had nothing. No courage, no heart, no strength. None of the qualities Raul possessed, she realized. None of what she needed.

Fueled by a sudden determination, she spoke again, her voice grim and gritty. “I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let you take my kids and run me out of town. I don’t know what in hell I thought I was doing, but I can tell you one thing. I never should have let you get away with it. And you won’t again, I can promise you that.”

“You’re full of-”

“I’m coming home, Todd.” She sat up straighter and ignored the pain that ripped through her body. “I’m coming home, and I’m going to fight you for those kids, and I’m going to win, because I’m going to have help this time. I won’t be alone, so don’t think your old tactics are going to work anymore.”

She didn’t let him reply. Her heart pumping, her hands shaking, Emma hit the disconnect button with a decisive click as a righteous courage washed over her. She would defeat Todd. She would!

Just as she had the thought, she heard steps coming up the walk. Still jumpy, she tensed, then when she saw who it was, she tensed even more.

He stopped beside the gate. He had on a white shirt that contrasted with the brown of his skin, and soft black pants with loafers and no socks. The afternoon sun glinted off his black hair. He looked more handsome and sensual than he ever had, and a shot of pure electric desire moved inside her as she met his dark eyes. But immediately Emma realized there was something different about Raul.

The tightness around his eyes was gone, his stance looser, his body language completely unlike what it had been before. At his side, his hands hung open and unfisted; his walk as he’d approached was fluid. The single thing that remained from before was his intensity-that stark ripple of energy that always surrounded him-but even this had a different feel to it.

Then she realized why. She was seeing who Raul had been before. The man he’d been all those years ago, the man he’d been when they each had yet to be shaped by the pain they now felt.

He reached around and unlatched the gate-the hinge was fixed now-closing it behind him before heading to where she sat. He stopped just short of her chair, the space between them more significant to her than it should be. She tried to analyze his expression then gave up.

“¿Cómo estás, Emmita?”

It was the first time she’d ever heard him speak the language, she realized with a start. His accent was soft, and he slurred the words with a Texan-style beat.

In the silence of the hot afternoon, everything waited. The only sound between them was the buzz of the bees as they worked around the bird-of-paradise bushes.

“How are you?” He repeated, this time in English.

“I’m fine.” Taking a deep breath and an even bigger chance, she met his dark gaze. “Now that you’re here.”

He covered the space between them in a heartbeat. Dropping to his knees on the terrace beside her chair, he took her hand in his. “Do you mean that?”

“Absolutely.” She gripped his fingers. She couldn’t hold them as tightly as she wanted to, but he got the message, she was sure. “You saved my life, Raul. I can never, ever repay you.”

Above his stormy stare, his eyebrows knit. “Is that the only reason?”

“It’s enough.”

He shook his head. “Not for me, it isn’t. I need more than that from you.”

“Then how about this?” She leaned toward him and cupped his face in her hands, her fingertips caressing him. He responded automatically, moving toward her. Her eyes locked on his and she proceeded to kiss him. Deeply.

When she finally pulled back, Emma was surer than ever she was doing the right thing. She only prayed Raul felt the same way. Whether he did or not, she had to try, she’d already decided. It was time to start living her life in the present, instead of the past.

“Is that a good enough reason for you?”

His face only inches from hers, he spoke softly and shocked her. “No, I’m sorry. There’s only one answer that will do. As great as your kisses are, I still need more.” Placing his hand on her neck, he rubbed his thumb at the base of her throat. The touch was so gentle she barely felt it, yet it reverberated deep inside her.

“I love you,” he said simply. “And I need to know you love me, too. Can you do that, Emma? After everything that’s happened between us?”

Her heart sung, but she spoke cautiously, unable to accept the possibility before her. “Maybe I should be the one asking you that. I should have told you what Kelman was doing. If I’d done that one little thing, none of this would have happened.”

“I’m not sure I agree.” His eyes turned blacker.

“I’ve had a lot of time these past few days to think about it. The way it ended was inevitable.”

“What do you mean?”

His hand tightened against her neck. Once he’d realized the truth of it, the knowledge of how he’d felt had begun to eat Raul up. For the past two days-the past two tortured days-he’d been killing himself with the knowledge. Emma was too good, too strong, too…perfect to love someone like him. He had to tell her the truth, though. When he was an old man and remembering his past, not telling her this and taking a chance would be the one thing he wouldn’t be able to stand.

“I had thought all along that what I wanted to do was ruin Kelman. To take his money and turn his life to shit like he’d done to me. When I came here that night, I realized I wanted more.” His mouth tightened. “I wanted him dead, Emma. I wanted to kill him, and I knew that when I went up those stairs.”

“You don’t carry that burden by yourself, Raul. I felt the same way.”

There was something about her voice that made him stop and look at her. In her hazel eyes was a depth of emotion he’d never seen before. It chilled him, but he actually understood. That didn’t change things, though.

Raul shook his head. “Maybe so, but not like I did, and you need to understand the truth of it if we’re going any farther. What Kelman did changed me. I spent five years in a federal prison. I turned hard. I’m not the man I was.”

She reached over and put her hand on his arm. One pink nail had been broken off, down to the quick. The knuckle was bruised and cut, too. Lifting her finger to his mouth, he kissed it gently. She spoke as his lips touched her skin and his heart stopped.

“You aren’t who you were.”

Before he could speak again, she continued, “No one could be the same after that. I’m not who I was a week ago, either.” Her voice held regret, even sorrow, then it grew stronger. “But the person you are now is the person I love. And I always will.”

A kind of feeling he’d never expected to have again swelled inside him. His throat burned with the suddenness of it all. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Her eyes warmed. “I love you and I think I’ve felt that way ever since that day at the orphanage. Seeing you there, with all the kids, something happened to me then.” She paused. “But the problem I had-with the pills and everything-that doesn’t bother you?”

“You had a problem and you fixed it. What’s there to worry about now?” He wrapped his arms around her in a possessive hug. It was tender, but it said everything else that needed to be said. He pulled back only when she spoke once more.

“There is one more thing, though…”

“We can deal with it. Whatever it is.”

“It’s my children. They’re always going to come first, Raul, and that’s something you’ll have to deal with. First, in this case, means I’m going back to the States to fight for them. Nothing else matters to me until I get that straightened out.” Her fingers tightened on his arm. “Can you wait?”

“I’ll go back with you,” he said instantly. “I may not hold a license anymore, but I am still an attorney. I could help you, if you like…if you’ll let me.”

Emma’s eyes filled with tears. They spilled down her cheeks, and Raul reached over to wipe them away with his thumb. His offer was exactly what she’d hoped for when she’d been talking to Todd, but she couldn’t have asked-he had to volunteer, just as he had.

“You’d do that for me?” she asked.

“I’d do anything for you, Emma. You should know that by now.”

She nodded weakly.

“But you have to do something in return for me.”

She lifted her brimming eyes to his and gripped his hands. “Anything. You name it and it’s yours.”

“Marry me,” he said quietly. “Be my wife. Have my children. Give me a life and love me forever.”

She didn’t speak, but she didn’t need to. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was as soft and as sweet as the first time they’d come together. In its healing warmth, their past faded, then disappeared, the pain nothing more than ashes, the hurt forgiven. The future rose before them.