Of Ants and Dinosaurs

6 The Ants’ Arsenal

‘What? We’re going to war with the dinosaurs? But that’s madness! They’re so big, and we’re so small…’ an ant minister exclaimed.

In the imperial palace in the Ivory Citadel, the imperial high command had just heard the queen’s account of the Dinosaur–Ant Summit.

‘Our empire has come a long way. Anyone who still takes size as a measure of strength is an idiot,’ said Field Marshal Donlira, commander-in-chief of the imperial army. She turned to the queen. ‘Please rest assured, Your Majesty, that the imperial army is robust enough to defeat those clumsy beasts.’

‘Talk is cheap.’ The minister fixed his gaze on the field marshal. ‘We all know that you have personally led the army into countless battles and have sailed on dinosaur ships to wage war on other continents, but you were only fighting against uncivilised ant tribes then. When it comes to confronting creatures many times larger than ourselves, I doubt one of your divisions could beat even a lizard.’

The queen dipped her antennae to the field marshal. ‘Yes, Donlira, it’s not empty talk that I want but detailed strategies and carefully conceived tactics. In one week we will go to war. So, tell me, what’s the plan?’

‘We have been performing medical services for the dinosaurs for more than a millennium now,’ Field Marshal Donlira replied, ‘so we are intimately acquainted with their anatomy. The imperial army will penetrate the dinosaurs’ bodies and attack their vitals. In this kind of warfare, our petite size is to our advantage.’

‘How will you gain access?’ another minister asked. ‘While they’re sleeping?’

The field marshal jiggled her antennae in disagreement. ‘No, from a moral standpoint, we cannot be the ones to start the war. This attack against the dinosaurs will be carried out on the battlefield.’

‘Easier said than done! On the battlefield, the dinosaurs will be awake and on the move. Will your soldiers be able to scale them? Even if they stood still to let you onto their feet, how long would it take to climb up to their noses and mouths? By the time your army gets inside them, they’ll have already trampled our capital into oblivion.’

Instead of answering directly, the field marshal scanned the gathered members of the high command with a long, deliberate look. ‘Comrades,’ she said, ‘our most excellent Queen Lassini has long foreseen the fracturing of the dinosaur–ant alliance. Early in her reign, she ordered the imperial army to begin preparing for war with the dinosaurs. We have undertaken extensive research, as a result of which we have developed many new weapons and combat techniques. Now, if everyone will step outside, we will demonstrate two key pieces of equipment.’

The ants of the high command duly pattered out onto the plaza outside the palace. Two dozen soldier ants carried forward a peculiar piece of kit: a small catapult affixed to a long base. They pulled the catapult’s elastic cord taut and hooked its pocket onto a mechanism at the far end of the base. Then they climbed into the pocket and clung tightly to one other, forming a black projectile. A soldier ant stationed beside the base pulled a tiny lever, releasing the pocket from the mechanism and twanging the black projectile a full twenty metres into the air. When the projectile reached its maximum height, it swiftly dispersed, and the two dozen soldier ants went fluttering through the air overhead, their glossy black bodies glittering in the sunshine.

‘This piece of equipment is called a Formican slingshot, and it is the solution to the problems cited by the honourable minister,’ explained Field Marshal Donlira.

‘Looks like useless acrobatics to me,’ muttered one of the ministers.

‘The imperial army is meant to be take offensive action,’ another minister said. ‘That’s the strategic principle on which it was founded. In the past, you have stated that its operational objective is “Attack! Attack! Attack!”. Now it seems this has changed to “Defend! Defend! Defend!”.’

‘Offensive action is still the strategic principle of the imperial army,’ replied the field marshal.

‘But how can it be? Even if these little gadgets of yours really do work, we obviously can’t use them to attack Boulder City. We’ll have to wait for the dinosaurs to attack our capital.’

‘Please bear with us, Minister,’ the field marshal said. ‘We will now demonstrate a weapon that can be used to initiate offensives against dinosaur cities.’

She waggled her antennae and several soldier ants brought over a number of yellow pellets resembling grains of rice. One of the soldiers swivelled round and sprayed a drop of formic acid on one of the pellets. A minute later, the pellet caught fire in a blinding flash of white light. The violent blaze lasted for ten seconds and then died out.

‘This weapon is called a “mine-grain”. It’s an incendiary device with a fuse that is activated by formic acid. It can be set to ignite at any point from a few seconds to a few hours after it’s triggered. Once the formic acid has eaten through the outer shell, the device combusts, producing temperatures high enough to ignite any flammable material.’

The assembled officials shook their antennae in disbelief. ‘It’s a child’s toy!’ grumbled one. ‘Even if one of these things went off on the forehead of the dinosaur emperor himself, it would do him no more harm than a cigarette burn. This thing can destroy Boulder City? You are surely having a laugh, Field Marshal.’

‘Just you wait and see,’ the field marshal replied confidently. ‘All will be revealed shortly.’