Oliver's Story

'What are your feelings?'

Dr London, here's a time I really need your help. My feelings?

'Anger. Rage. Pissed off.'

But also more.

'Confused. I don't know what to feel. We're on the verge of … I don't know.'

Yeah, I did know, but couldn't say it.

'I mean … building a relationship. Or trying to. How can we tell if it can really work if we don't have the time together? Time in person. Not just on the telephone. I'm not the slightest bit religious, but if I thought that we'd be separated Christmas Eve, I'd … '

Maybe cry? I'm sure that even Jack the Ripper spent the Yule with friends.

'Look, the problem's serious. I mean the Denver store's got shaky management. Marcie had to go. She has to stay. It's nothing she can delegate. And who the hell's suggesting she should delegate? To hold my hand? To cook my breakfast?

'Dammit — it's her job! I've got to live with that. I'm not complaining. All right, sure I am. But I'm the one who's immature …

'And maybe more than that. I'm selfish. Inconsiderate. Marcie is my … we're a … sort of couple. She's got hasslement in Denver. Truly. Even though she is the boss, some wise-ass locals think she's got a heavy hand. It's not that easy.

'Meanwhile I'm just lounging here and moaning over nothing, when I maybe should be there to back her up. A little personal support. Christ, I know what it would mean to me. And if I did, she'd really know … '

I hesitated. How much was I telling Dr London with my incompleted sentences?

'I think I ought to fly to Denver.'

Silence. I was pleased with my decision. Then I realized this was Friday.

'On the other hand, next Monday I'm supposed to go to trial against that School Board. I've been dying to get in there with those Yahoos … '

Pause for introspection. Weigh your values, Oliver.

'Okay, I could give the ball to Barry Pollack. Actually, he's deeper into it than I. Of course, he's younger. They might rattle him. Ah, shit, I know I'd make it stronger. It's important!'

Christ, what a ferocious game of psychic Ping-Pong. I was dazed from hearing my own counterarguments!

'But dammit, Marcie's more important! Never mind how cool she is, she's out there all alone and she could use a friend. And maybe I could — once in my whole life — consider someone other than my goddamn self!'

I was convinced by my last argument. I think.

'I fly to Denver, right?'

I looked at the doctor. London pondered for a moment and replied:

'If not, I'll see you five o'clock on Monday.'