One Man`s Bible

60

Enough! he says.

What do you mean? you ask.

He says enough, put an end to him!

Who are you talking about? Who is to put an end to whom?

Him, that character you're writing about, put an end to him.

You say you are not the author.

Then who is?

Surely, it's clear, himself, of course! You are only his conscious mind.

Then what will happen to you? If he is finished off, will you also be finished off?

You say you can be a reader, you will be just like the audience watching a play. The he and you in the book are not of any great significance.

He says, you are really good at detaching yourself!

Of course, you do not shoulder or acknowledge any responsibility-moral, ethical, or the like-toward him. You are just an idler with some free time, who happened to have the opportunity of focusing on such a character. But it is enough and you, too, are weary. So, if he is to be finished off, then so be it. In any case, he is a character, and, sooner or later, there would have to be a conclusion. He can't be disposed of like garbage just by your saying that he's finished.

But people are garbage, and, sooner or later, have to be eliminated. Otherwise, the world, with its excess of people, would have created a foul stench long ago.

Is that why there is fighting, rivalry, war, and, therefore, all kinds of theories?

Stop rationalizing! It gives you a headache.

You're a pessimist.

Pessimist or not, the world will remain the same, it's not decided by you. You're not God, and nobody can control it. But even the ending for such a character in a novel has to be decided. Is his death to result from a serious illness or a heart attack, or will he be strangled, stabbed, gunned down, or killed in a car accident? This will be decided by the author, and is not up to you. In any case, he seems reluctant to kill himself, but you have really had enough, you are just a game he is playing with language, and, once he finishes, you will automatically be released.

However, he says he is playing a game with the world because he can't stand the loneliness. You and he became fellow travelers, but you are neither his comrade nor his judge, nor are you his ultimate conscious mind, whatever that may be. You simply care about him.

For you and for him, the interstices of time and circumstances provided distance, although you have had the advantage of time and location. With that distance-in other words, freedom-you were able to observe him at leisure. He was a spontaneous being, and his sufferings, in fact, were self-inflicted.

So, all right, you bid him farewell and go off. Or, rather, he must say good-bye to you. Is anything more to be said?

Buddhists talk about nirvana, Daoists talk about sprouting wings, but he says just let him leave.

At that instant, he stops, turns back to look at you, and, just like that, you and he go your separate ways. He had said that his problem was that he had been born too early and so brought much suffering to you. If he had been born a century later, for example, in the new century about to arrive, no doubt these problems would not have existed. But nobody can predict what will happen in the next century, and, furthermore, can one know if this next century is, in fact, new?