One of Us Is Dead

23 Saturday 1 October 2022

They weren’t quite the last people in the restaurant, there was one other couple. It was gone 4 p.m. and Taylor was conscious the staff would be wanting a break before their evening began, but their waiter at Wild Flor, a young Frenchman with a happy disposition, made no attempt to rush them.

Taylor had shared a seafood platter with Debbie, and rather more Champagne and white wine than he normally would have drunk, but it was fine; firstly because he was having just the best time with this perfect dining buddy; and secondly because his master and commander, Tommy Towne, did not need to fly anywhere until next Tuesday.

Debbie, seated across the wooden table, dressed in a trouser suit, with a thin silver necklace, looked the proverbial million dollars — and more. She was elegant, she was smart, she had poise, and she was extremely intelligent. And, most importantly of all, she genuinely seemed to like him — quite a lot. She’d taken his hand across the table some while ago and had not let go since, gently massaging his fingers and looking suggestively into his eyes.

‘You really do look in great shape,’ she said.

He grinned. ‘For my age, you mean?’

‘You’re the same age as Barnie — was — thirty-nine?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘You work out?’

Was she hitting on him? This had not been part of his plan when he’d invited her out this lunchtime. Well, it had always been a possibility lurking at the back of his mind and he felt no guilt about it. Barnie and Debbie had been separated a long time before he had died and he and Barnie had barely spoken in years. He realized he was letting his thoughts go there despite the other thoughts in his head telling him to prepare for disappointment. Surely Debbie was in a different league to him?

But then again, as he’d thought so often previously, Barnie sure as hell had been punching above his weight when he’d married her.

‘I’m a runner,’ he said. ‘I’ve done eighteen marathons.’

‘Impressive. When’s your next?’

‘Tomorrow week — Chicago. I shouldn’t be drinking wine or any booze at the moment.’ He grinned. ‘I won’t tell my trainer, Malcolm, if you don’t.’

‘The Chicago marathon. Seriously?’

‘Yes, I’m trying to bag the Big Six — Chicago, Boston, New York, London, Berlin and Tokyo.’

‘What happens when you’ve done that?’

‘I get a medal.’

‘Just a medal — that’s all?’

‘It’s enough. It’s a big medal!’

She laughed, and said, ‘Respect!’ Then she gave a slight toss of her head, flicking away some of her long blonde fringe that continually tumbled over her right eye. He found that toss — more just a casual flick — endearing. Sexy, even.

For most of the time so far they’d actually talked about everything except the thing Taylor had invited her out to talk about. He was about to broach it now when Debbie asked him, ‘Tell me about your marriage? What happened?’

‘How long do you have?’

‘As long as it takes.’ She smiled. And in that moment, if he could have chosen one image to look at in his final dying moments on earth, it would have been that smile.

‘Another time,’ he said. He was in a happy place right now and didn’t want to go there. It hurt too much.

‘Are you still in touch with Marianne?’

‘I get to have my son for a few days once a month, kind of. When she’s in the right mood, and not in one of her do anything to piss off Taylor moods again.’

‘Harrison, right?’

He nodded. ‘He’s ten.’

‘You miss him?’

‘I miss everything about him, every moment of every day. Most of all, I miss being able to be part of his life, and to help him with choices — and just to kick a ball around with him, which he loves so much.’ He shrugged. ‘Marianne’s manipulated things so that I’m pretty much a stranger to him.’

‘Must be tough.’

‘It is, very.’

‘But you’re the one who had the affair, right?’

From her smile, Taylor could see it wasn’t a criticism. Just a fact. The raw and still painful truth. And she understood.

‘I did, yes. But...’

‘But?’

‘I’m not making excuses, but things hadn’t exactly been great for a very long time. She had a whole string of affairs, that I kept forgiving her for, long before I had mine.’

She smiled and the world seemed to grow brighter as she did. ‘Does your affair make it OK?’

He shook his head and said, a tad wistfully, ‘My bad.’

She smiled again. ‘You must have loved her once.’

‘Of course. A lot. Insanely!’ Then, changing the subject, he asked, ‘Did you and Barnie never want kids?’

She said nothing for some moments. Then she replied, ‘At first, it was something I really did want.’ She shrugged, looking sullen. ‘I was pregnant twice, but sadly I miscarried each time.’

‘That must have been hard.’

‘At the time, yes. But then when I got to know the real Barnie, the Barnie with the dark underbelly, in a kind of way I was glad — about the miscarriages. Does that sound terrible?’

He shook his head. ‘You told me at the wake he had a temper that scared you. I never saw that at Brighton College — well, no real sign of it anyway.’

‘Maybe because his head was full of dreams at school. After we married, he told me repeatedly how important he felt it was to make it by the age of forty. He said that if someone didn’t make it by forty they would never make it. And as he approached forty himself, he began to realize that all those dreams just weren’t going to happen — to come true.’

She paused as the waiter refilled their glasses of white wine from the second bottle, emptying it. ‘Another?’ he asked, showing no sign of desperation for them to leave.

They looked at each other. ‘I’d love an espresso — oh — and the bill,’ Taylor said.

‘I’ll have a macchiato — and we’ll split the bill,’ she suggested.

‘No way!’ he retorted. Then, with a grin, he said, ‘You can get the next one.’

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment longer than they needed before she spoke with a big smile, ‘Deal!’ Then she continued. ‘I began to realize it too — that he had all these dreams but never a plan to make them actually happen. As each of his grand schemes fell over, one by one, I could see that he was changing, and not in a good way. It got worse when we ran short of money, when he began to rail at a world he felt owed him a living and did not appreciate him. Luckily, throughout that time I’d kept my job.’

‘In PR?’

She nodded. ‘If I hadn’t, we’d have lost the house. Then he went and had an affair and that was it, as far as I was concerned. I kicked him out and he was fine with that for two years, until his new lady — Angi Bitchface — kicked him out too. And he came crawling, begging me to take him back. He had a cock-and-bull story about how he had the goods on an old school friend and was looking to get a massive pay-off to keep silent, which would make us rich.’

Taylor frowned. ‘An old school friend? Did he elaborate?’

‘To be honest, I didn’t really listen. I told him that the day he proved to me he was actually capable of succeeding at something was the day I might start to think about taking him back. I knew that was never going to happen.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘This may sound crazy, but I did still sort of love him.’ She shook her head.

He nodded. ‘I get it. Barnie had a lot of charisma.’

‘He did.’

‘I’m interested in this old school friend he talked about. Did he say any more about him?’

‘Not really, no.’ She shrugged. ‘Well, other than that he was someone everyone thought was dead — and Barnie had found out he wasn’t.’