Outcast

Chapter Five

“Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence.” Dad’s voice is full of mean as I leave my room and walk down a short set of stairs to our home’s main room, which is built around the trunk of the oak tree. I push my shoulder-length black hair away from my face and skirt the edge of the trunk, heading toward the cooking stove in the corner where a pot of Mom’s stewed apples bubbles over a low fire.

The chill of the winter morning seeps in through the cracks in the walls. The scattered rag rugs, faded from years of use, do little to block the cold. I pull my leather coat tight, the book of poems securely tucked in an inner pocket far from my father’s prying eyes. Mom hovers near the stove, her eyes on her husband, her hands already shaking with the need for her next drink.

“Guess you were tired after having to do the cleanup all by yourself last night,” Dad says.

I grab a chipped porcelain bowl from the rack above the stove and scoop apples into it.

“Hope you used that time alone to do some hard thinking, boy, because I’m not putting up with you questioning my authority again.”

I dip a spoon into the apples and take a bite. The stew is tangy, verging on sour. Either Mom forgot to add sugar, or we’re out of it again.

“Look at that, Cora.” Dad’s voice is menacing as he circles the trunk and comes closer to the stove. “Your son thinks he can ignore me.”

Mom’s hands flutter toward her neck and latch onto the frayed edges of her knitted shawl. “Answer your father,” she says in a weary voice. When I take too long to finish chewing and swallowing, she whips her head toward me, desperate anger flaring in her bloodshot eyes. “Now, Quinn. Answer him!”

“Yes.” I carefully set the bowl into the sink beside our ancient water pump, the sour tang of the apples still ripe in my mouth. “Yes, I did some hard thinking.”

“Better make sure you came to the right conclusion.” Dad strides forward and grabs the front of my coat. I hold my arms tightly to the sides to keep the book from sliding out of its pocket while he gives me a hard shake. “Who’s in charge of our missions?”

“You are.” The words are easy. The effort to stop myself from arguing that we should approach the village’s protection differently is not.

“You forget that again, boy, and I’ll have to teach you a lesson.” The threat of violence lies heavy in his voice. I nod but don’t look at him. He lets go of my coat slowly and straightens. “You’ll do the scouting run today.”

My eyes snap to his as panic sears me. If I’m scouting for potential threats during the day, I’ll be kept at home tonight. There will be no one to stand between Willow and my father’s desire to mold her into another version of himself. And I won’t be there to absorb the violence he turns against us when things don’t go his way.

“I’m not a scout.” I keep my voice calm and expressionless. “The elders gave Sorra and Matthias that job. If I take their place—”

He slaps me. I see it coming. I could’ve dodged the blow, but it’s better to take the first hit than risk provoking him into the kind of beating that will leave me hobbling for days.

Leaning close enough that his breath fans the stinging handprint on my cheek, he says, “You’ll scout if I tell you to. And you’ll keep scouting until you’ve learned to hold your tongue and do as you’re told. I had hopes for you, Quinn. Thought you’d follow in your old man’s footsteps and make me proud. But now I’m thinking maybe your sister is the true warrior in this family.”

His dark eyes flash with challenge, and my stomach lurches as I realize he knows I’m trying to protect Willow. He knows I’m willing to do anything I have to do to keep her from becoming like him. He knows, and he’s recovered from his shock at my defiance last night and is ready to answer me with the kind of violence that has kept Willow and me doing his bidding without question our entire lives.

Mom picks up a glass jar filled with pale-yellow corn liquor and walks out of the room without looking at us. I do the one thing that will pacify my father and put me on the road to being in his good graces again, where I can watch out for Willow.

“If you want me to scout, I’ll do it.” My voice is calm and controlled—at odds with the frantic pounding of my heart and the fury that blazes through me with almost unbearable ferocity.

For one moment, I imagine striking him back—using the skills he’s taught me to hurt him, disable him, and then hurt him some more. Watching his face as he realizes that the monster he’s created has turned against its master.

Then I take a slow breath, ignore the anger that pounds through me, and walk out the door. The morning sky is winter gray as I climb onto the walkway that circles our home and stretches tree to tree, connecting our home to the buildings around us. The village occupies five hundred yards in the center of the southern forest. Every home, council, and community building is built high up in the trees, centered around thick trunks and then branching out with the use of walkways, rope stairs, and support beams.

Below us, a thin crust of snow remains on the forest floor, though spots of dark earth are peeking through in places. Snow never lasts long in the southern forest. I don’t know which direction Sorra and Matthias went this morning, and I’m not going to hunt down the elder in charge of scouting to ask.

Not when it means trying to explain why my father is displeased with me. And why I’m struggling to obey him.

I head south, running silently along the walkways, past the council building, the butcher shop, and the schoolhouse until I come to the edge of the village. A thick forest of oak, cypress, and elm surrounds us. Most of the people who enter our borders are either highwaymen traveling to pillage or trade or couriers from other city-states looking for a shortcut to Rowansmark, a three-day’s journey south.

None of the strangers who enter our borders uninvited make it out alive.

Grabbing a sturdy elm branch, I swing off the walkway that borders the village and into the forest beyond. Moving lightly along that branch, I scan the surrounding trees, pick another branch that can hold me, and leap from one tree to the next only to do it all over again. In moments, I’ve left the quiet noises of the village behind and am embraced by the occasional call of the birds above me, the creak of the branches below me, and the reverent hush that holds the woods captive.

When I’m far enough away that I feel comfortable stopping, I climb into the cradle of a cypress and pull out the book.

The last book I found was a collection of short stories full of magic and make-believe—so different from the life that I knew—and they fed my soul in a way that nothing ever had. I’d read them to Willow in the quiet early morning hours after a hunt when Dad was already asleep. The words felt like a treasure. Something that was untouched by anyone but us.

But one day I wasn’t careful enough, and Dad overheard me reading. Furious that I’d kept the book out of a night’s haul, he’d confiscated it.

We never saw it again.

Now, I hold the book of poems carefully and slide a finger over the thin, yellowed pages while I read. The words are lyrical, like the river’s steady cadence as it rushes over the rocks in spring. I read poems about battles, beautiful streams, and the loss of a girl named Claribel. Images of noble soldiers, lonely journeys, and love that is strong enough to endure every separation fill my mind. I feel a sense of peace for the first time in years.

Then I turn a page and read a poem whose last lines stop me cold. Drawing in a breath of chilly air, I speak the words aloud while my heart picks up speed.

Our echoes roll from soul to soul,

And grow for ever and for ever.

My throat closes as the memory of slashing the unarmed highwayman’s throat fills me. What are my echoes? What mark am I leaving on this world to roll soul to soul, growing forever?

The questions, the doubts that I’ve struggled with snap into focus with one clear thought: I will not become the man my father wants me to be. I will choose my own path. My own echoes.

And if I have anything to say about the matter, Willow will get to choose her echoes too.