Over the Edge

2

THE NIGHT operator at Canyon Oaks Hospital informed me that incoming calls wouldn't be accepted until 8 AM — almost five hours away. I used my title, told her it was an emergency, and was connected to a flat contralto who identified herself as the night shift nursing supervisor She listened to what I had to say, and when she answered, some of the flatness was seasoned by scepticism.

"What did you say your name was, sir?"

"Dr Alex Delaware. And You're Ms.—"

"Mrs. Vann. Are you a member of our staff, Doctor?"

"No I treated him several years ago."

"I see. And you say he called you?"

"Yes. Just a few minutes ago."

"That's highly unlikely. Doctor," she said with some satisfaction. "Mr Cadmus is on a locked — he has no phone access."

"It was him, Mrs. Vann. and he was in real distress. Have you checked his room recently?"

"No, I'm on the opposite wing of the hospital." A pause. "I suppose I could call over there."

"I think you should."

"Very well. Thank you for the information, Doctor. And goodnight."

"One more thing — how long has be been hospitalised?"

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to give out confidential patient information."

"I understand. Who's his attending doctor?"

"Our director, Dr. Mainwaring. But," she added, protectively, "he's not available at this hour."

Muffled noises came on in the background. She put me on hold for a long time, then returned to the line, sounding stressed, and told me she had to go. It was the second time in ten minutes I'd been cut off.

I switched off the lights and went back to the bedroom. Robin turned toward me and propped herself on her elbows. The darkness had transformed the copper in her hair to a strangely beautiful lavender. Her almond eyes were half closed.

"Alex, what was that all about?"

I sat on the edge of the bed and told her about the call from Jamey and my conversation with the night nurse.

"How strange."

"It is weird." I rubbed my eyes. "I don't hear from a kid in five years, and out of the blue he calls, talking gibberish."

I stood up and paced.

"He had problems in those days, but he wasn't crazy. Nowhere near crazy. His mind was a work of art. Tonight he was a mess — paranoid, hearing voices, talking nonsense. Hard to believe it's the same person."

But intellectually I knew it was possible. What I'd heard over the phone had been psychosis or some kind of bum trip. Jamey was a young man by now — seventeen or eighteen — and statistically ripe both for the onset of schizophrenia and for drug abuse.

I walked to the window and leaned on the sill. The glen was silent. A faint breeze ruffled the pinetops. I stood there for a while and stared out at velvety layers of darkness.

Finally she spoke:

"Why don't you come back to bed, honey?"

I crawled back between the sheets. We held each other until she yawned and I felt her body go slack with fatigue. I kissed her, rolled away, and tried to fall asleep, but it didn't work. I was too wound up, and both of us knew it.

"Talk," she said, slipping her hand into mine.

"There's really nothing to talk about. It was just so strange to hear from him like that. And then getting the cold shoulder from the hospital. The hag I spoke to didn't seem to give a damn. She was a real ice cube, acted as if I were the nut case. Then, while I was on hold, something happened that upset her."

"You think it had something to do with him?"

"Who the hell knows? The whole thing is so bizarre."

We lay side by side. The silence began to feel oppressive. I looked at the clock: 3:23. Raising her hand to my lips, I kissed the knuckles, then lowered and released it. I pushed myself out of the bed, walked around to her side, leaned over, and covered her bare shoulders.

"I won't be able to sleep tonight. No reason to keep you up."

"Gonna read?" she asked, knowing my usual way of coping with occasional insomnia.

"No." I went to the closet and began selecting clothing in the dark. "I think I'll take a drive."

She rolled over and stared, eyes open wide.

I fumbled a bit before finding flannel slacks, cordovans, a turtle-neck, and a medium weight Harris tweed sportcoat. Sufficiently professional. Quietly I got dressed.

"You're going out there — aren't you? — to that hospital."

I shrugged.

"The kid's call was a cry for help. We once had a good relationship. I liked him a lot. Now he's falling apart, and there's probably nothing I can do, but it'll make me feel better to get some closure."

She looked at me, started to say something, and sighed.

"Where is this place?"

"Out in the West Valley. Twenty-five minutes at this hour. I'll be back soon."

"Be careful, Alex, okay?"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

I kissed her again and said, "Go back to sleep."

But she was wide-awake as I crossed the threshold.

Winter had come late to Southern California and had hung on tenaciously before dying. It was cold for early spring, and I buttoned my coat as I stepped onto the terrace and walked down the front steps. Someone had planted night-blooming jasmine several years ago; it had flourished and spread, and now the glen was heavy with perfume from March through September. I breathed deeply and, for one brief moment, thought of Hawaii.

The Seville was in the carport, next to Robin's Toyota longbed. It was coated with dust and in need of a tune-up, but started up faithfully. The house sits atop a twisted old bridle path, and it takes a bit of manoeuvring to get a Cadillac through the tree-shaded curves without a scratch. But after all these years I can do it in my sleep, and after backing out with a lurch, I wheeled around quickly and began the winding descent.

I turned right on Beverly Glen Drive and barreled downhill toward Sunset. Our part of the glen is rural chic — small clapboard houses on stilts gussied up with insets of stained glass, SAVE THE WHALE bumper stickers on old Volvos, a market specialising in organic produce — but just before Sunset it turned into gated estates. At the boulevard I hooked right and headed toward the San Diego Freeway. The Seville sped past the northern border of the UCLA campus, the south gate of Bel Air, hypertrophied haciendas on million-dollar lots. A few minutes later the 405 overpass came into view. I pointed the Seville at the on-ramp and flew onto the freeway.

A couple of tankers groaned in the slow lane, but otherwise all five lanes were mine. The blacktop rose before me, vacant and glistening, an arrowhead aimed infinitely at the horizon. The 405 is a section of the artery that traverses California vertically, running parallel with the ocean from Baja to the Oregon border. At this part of the state it tunnels through the Santa Monica mountain range, and tonight the highlands that had been spared hovered darkly, their towering, dusty haunches breaded with the season's first vegetative stubble.

The asphalt humped at Mulholland, then dipped toward the San Fernando Valley. A breathtaking view — the pulsating rainbow of distant lights — appeared suddenly, but at seventy miles per, it dissolved in an instant. I swung to the right, got onto the Ventura Freeway West, and increased my speed.

I zipped through twelve miles of valley suburbia: Encino; Tarzana (only in L.A. could a bedroom community be named after the apeman); Woodland Hills. Keyed up and bright-eyed, I kept both hands on the wheel, too edgy to listen to music.

Just before Topanga the blackness of night surrendered to an explosion of colour, a winking panoply of scarlet, amber, and cobalt blue. It was as if a gigantic Christmas tree had been planted in the middle of the freeway. Mirage or not, I braked to a halt.

Few vehicles had been cruising the freeway at that hour. But there were enough of them — log jammed and static, bumper to bumper — to create a 4:00 A.M. traffic jam.

I sat for a while with the motor idling, then realised that the other drivers had turned off their engines. Some had exited and could be seen leaning against trunks and hoods, smoking cigarettes, chatting, or simply gazing up at the stars. Their pessimism was overwhelming, and I turned off the Seville. In front of me was a silver Porsche Targa. I got out and walked up to it. A ginger-haired man in his late thirties sat in the driver's seat, chewing on a cold pipestem and perusing a legal journal.

"Excuse me, could you tell me what's going on?"

The Porsche driver raised his eyes from the magazine and looked up at me pleasantly. From the smell of things it wasn't tobacco that filled the pipe.

"Smash-up. All lanes are blocked."

"How long have you been here?"

A quick look at a Rolex.

"Half hour."

"Any idea when it'll clear up?"

"Nope. It's a nasty one." He put his pipe back in his mouth, smiled, and returned to an article on maritime shipping contracts.

I continued walking along the left shoulder of the freeway, past half a dozen rows of cold engines. Rubbernecking had slowed traffic on the opposite side to a crawl. The stench of gasoline grew stronger, and my ears picked up an electric chant: multiple police radios barking in independent counterpoint. A few yards more, and the entire scene was visible.

A huge truck — twin transport trailers over eighteen wheels — had jackknifed across the freeway. One trailer remained upright and was positioned perpendicular to the dotted white lines; the other had flipped on its side, a good third of it suspended over the side of the highway. The linkage between the two vans was a severed sprig of twisted mesh. Pinned beneath the sprawling metal carcass was a shiny red compact car crushed like a used beer can. A few feet away sat a larger sedan, a brown Ford, its windows blown out, its front end an accordion.

The lights and noise came from a pair of hook and ladders, half a dozen ambulances, and a platoon of fire department and highway patrol cars. Half a dozen uniforms huddled around the Ford, and a strange-looking machine outfitted at the snout with oversized tongs made repeated passes at its crumpled passenger door. Blanketed bodies on stretchers were being loaded into ambulances. Some were hooked up to intravenous bottles and handled gingerly. Others, encased in body bags, were treated like luggage. From one of the ambulances came a moan, unmistakably human. The freeway was littered with glass, fuel, and blood.

A line of CHP officers stood at parade rest, shifting their attention constantly from the carnage to the waiting motorists. One of them saw me and motioned me back with a curt hand wave. When I didn't comply, he marched forward, grim-faced.

"Go back to your car immediately, sir."

Up close he was young and big with a long red face, a skimpy fawn-coloured moustache, and thin, tight lips. His uniform had been tapered to show off his muscles, and he sported a tiny, foppish blue bow tie. His name tag said BJORSTADT.

"How much longer do you think we'll be here, Officer?"

He stepped closer, one hand on his revolver, chewing an antacid and giving off an odour of sweat and wintergreen.

"Go back to your car immediately, sir."

"I'm a doctor, Officer. I've been called out on an emergency and have to get through."

"What kind of doctor?"

"Psychologist."

The answer didn't seem to please him.

"What kind of emergency?"

"A patient of mine just called in crisis. He's been suicidal in the past and is at high risk. It's important that I get to him as quickly as possible."

"You going to this individual's home?"

"No, he's hospitalised.

"Where?"

"Canyon Oaks Psychiatric — just a few miles up."

"Let me see your licence, sir."

I handed it over, hoping he wouldn't call the hospital. The last thing I needed was a powwow between Officer Bjorstadt and sweet Mrs. Vann.

He studied the licence, gave it back, and looked me over with pale eyes that had been trained to doubt.

"Let's just say, Dr. Delaware, that I follow you to the hospital. You're saying that once we get there, they're going to verify the emergency?"

"Absolutely. Let's do it."

He squinted and tugged on his moustache. "What kind of car are you driving?"

"Seventy-nine Seville. Dark green with a tan top."

He studied me, frowning, and said finally: "Okay, Doctor, coast through slowly on the shoulder. When you get to this point, you can stop and stay put until I tell you to move. It's a real disaster out here, and we don't want any more blood tonight."

I thanked him and jogged to the Seville. Ignoring hostile stares from the other drivers, I rolled to the front of the line, and Bjorstadt waved me through. Hundreds of flares had been laid down, and the freeway was lit up like a birthday cake. It wasn't until the flames disappeared in my rear-view mirror that I picked up speed.

The suburban landscape receded at Calabasas, giving way to softly rolling hills dotted with ancient gnarled scrub oak. Most of the big ranches had long been subdivided, but this was still upper-crust horse country — high-priced "planned communities" behind gates and one-acre spreads designed for weekend cowboys. I got off the freeway just short of the Ventura County line and, following the arrow on the sign that said CANYON OAKS PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL, swung south over a concrete bridge. After passing a self-serve filling station, a sod nursery, and a Christian elementary school, I drove uphill on a one-lane road for a couple of miles until another arrow directed me westward. The pungence of ripe manure clogged the air.

The Canyon Oaks property line was marked by a large flowering peach tree shadowing low, open gates meant more for decor than security. A long, winding lane bordered by boxwood hedge and backed by shaggy eucalyptus led me to the top of a knoll.

The hospital was a Bauhaus fantasy: cubes of white concrete assembled in clusters; lots of plate glass and steel. The surrounding chaparral had been cleared for several hundred yards, isolating the structure and intensifying the severity of its angles. The collection of cubes was longer than tall, a cold, pale python of a building. In the distance was a black backdrop of mountain studded with pinpoints of illumination that arced like low, shooting stars. Flashlights. I parked in the near-empty lot and walked to the entrance — double doors of brushed chrome centred in a wall of glass. And locked. I pressed the buzzer.

A security guard peeked through the glass, ambled over, and stuck his head out. He was middle-aged and potbellied, and even in the dark I could see the veins on his nose.

"Yes, sir?" He hitched up his trousers.

"I'm Dr. Delaware. A patient of mine — James Cadmus — called in crisis, and I wanted to see how he was."

"Oh, him." The guard scowled and let me in. "This way, Doctor."

He led me through an empty reception room decorated in insipid blue-greens and greys and smelling of dead flowers, turned left at a door marked C Ward, unlocked the dead bolt, and let me pass through.

On the other side was an unoccupied nursing station equipped with personal computers and a closed-circuit TV monitor displaying video oatmeal. The guard passed the station and continued to the right. We entered a brief, bright corridor checkered with blue-green doors, each pocked with a peephole. One door was open, and the guard motioned toward it.

"Here you go, Doc"

The room was six-by-six, with soft white vinyl walls and low, flat ceilings. Most of the floor space was taken up by a hospital bed fitted with leather restraints. There was a single window high up on one wall. It had the filmy look of old Plexiglas and was barred with steel posts. Everything — from the commode to the nightstand — was built in, bolted down, and padded with blue-green vinyl. A pair of crumpled white pyjamas lay on the floor.

Three people in starched white crowded the room.

An obese blonde woman in her forties sat on the bed, head in hands. By her side stood a big, broad black man wearing horn-rimmed glasses. A second woman, young, dark, voluptuous, and sufficiently good-looking to pass for Sophia Loren's kid sister, stood, arms folded across her ample chest, at some distance from the other two. Both women wore nurse's caps; the man's tunic buttoned to the neck.

"Here's his doctor," announced the guard to a trio of stares. The fat woman's face was tear-streaked, and she looked frightened. The big black narrowed his eyes, and went back to looking impassive.

The good-looking woman's eyes narrowed with anger.

She shouldered the black man aside and stomped over. Her hands were clenched, and her bosom heaved.

"What's the meaning of this, Edwards?" she demanded in a contralto I recognised. "Who is this man?"

The guard's paunch dropped a few inches.

"Uh, he said he was Cadmus's doctor, Mrs. Vann, and, uh, so I—"

"It was a misunderstanding," I smiled. "I'm Dr. Delaware. We spoke on the phone—"

She looked at me with amazement and swivelled her attention back to the guard.

"This is a locked ward, Edwards. It's locked for two reasons." She gave him a bitter, condescending smile. "Isn't it?"

"Yes, ma'am—"

"What are those reasons, Edwards?"

"Uh, to keep the loon… — to maintain security, ma'am, and, uh—"

"To keep the patients in and strangers out." She glared at him. "Tonight you're batting oh-for-two."

"Yes, ma'am. I just thought since the kid—"

"That's enough thinking on your part for one night," she snapped. "Return to your post."

The guard blinked rheumily in my direction.

"You want me to take him—"

"Go, Edwards."

He looked at me hatefully and shuffled away. The fat woman on the bed put her head back in her hands and began to snuffle. Mrs. Vann shot her a sidelong glance full of distain, batted her long dark lashes in my direction, and held out a finely boned hand.

"Hello, Dr. Delaware."

I returned the greeting and tried to explain my presence.

"You're a very dedicated man, Doctor." Her smile was a cold white crescent. "I suppose we can't fault you for that."

"I appreciate that. How's—"

"Not that you should have been let in — Edwards will answer for that — but as long as you're here, I don't imagine you'll do much harm. Or good, for that matter." She paused. "Your former patient's no longer with us."

Before I could respond, she went on:

"Mr. Cadmus escaped. After assaulting poor Miss Surtees here."

The fat blonde looked up. Her hair was a stiff, platinum meringue. The face under it was pale and lumpy and mottled with pink. Her eyebrows were plucked flat, canopying small, olive drab, porcine eyes rimmed with red. Thick lips greasy with gloss tensed and trembled.

"I went in to check on him" — she sniffled — "just like I do every night. All this time he's been such a nice kid, so I undid the cuffs like I always do — give the boy a bit of freedom, you know? A little compassion doesn't hurt, does it? Then the massage — wrists and ankles. What he always does is he drifts right off in the middle of the massage and starts smiling like a baby. Gets a good sleep sometimes. This time he jumped up real crazy, screaming and frothing at the mouth. Punched me in the stomach, tied me with the sheet, and gagged me with the towel. I thought he was gonna kill me, but he just took my key and—"

"That's enough, Marthe," said Mrs. Vann firmly. "Don't upset yourself any further. Antoine, take her to the nurses' lounge, and get some soup or something into her."

The black man nodded and propelled the fat woman out the door.

"Private-duty nurse," said Mrs. Vann when they were gone, making it sound like an epithet. "We never use them, but the family insisted, and when big bucks are involved, the rules have a way of getting bent." Her head shook, and the stiff cap rustled. "She's a float. Not even registered, just an LVN. You can see the good she accomplished."

"How long's Jamey been here?"

She came closer, brushing my sleeve with her fingertips. Her badge had a picture that didn't do her justice and, under it, a name: Andrea Vann, R.N.

"My, but you're persistent," she said archly. "What makes you think that information is less confidential than it was an hour ago?"

I shrugged.

"I had the feeling when we spoke on the phone that you thought I was some sort of crank."

The frigid smile returned.

"And now that I see you in the flesh I'm supposed to be impressed?"

I grinned, hoped it was charming. "If I look the way I feel, I wouldn't expect you to be. All I'm trying to do is make some sense out of the last hour."

The smile turned crooked and, in the process, somehow grew more amiable.

"Let's get off the ward," she said. "The rooms are soundproofed, but the patients have an uncanny way of knowing when something's up — almost an animal type of thing. If they catch on, they'll be howling and throwing themselves against the walls all shift."

We went into the reception room and sat down. Edwards was there, shuffling around miserably, and she ordered him to fetch coffee. He screwed up his lips, swallowed another gallon of pride, and complied.

"Actually," she said, taking a sip and putting the cup down, "I did think you were a crank — we get plenty of them. But when I saw you, I recognised you. A couple of years ago I attended a lecture you gave at Western Peds on childhood fears. You did a nice job."

"Thanks."

"My own kid was having bad dreams at the time, and I used some of your suggestions. They worked."

"Glad to hear it."

She pulled out a cigarette from a pack in the pocket of her uniform and lit it.

"Jamey was fond of you. He mentioned you from time to time. When he was lucid."

She frowned. I interpreted it:

"Which wasn't very often."

"No. Not very. How long did you say it's been since you last saw him?"

"Five years."

"You wouldn't recognise him. He— " She stopped herself. "I can't say more. There's been enough rule bending for one night."

"Fair enough. Can you tell me how long he's been missing?"

"A half hour or so. The orderlies are out in the hills with flashlights."

We sat and drank coffee. I asked her what kinds of patients the hospital treated, and she chain-lit another cigarette before answering.

"If what you're asking is, Do we get lots of escapes, the answer is no."

I said I hadn't meant that at all, but she cut me off.

"This isn't a prison. Most of our wards are open — the typical stuff: acting-out adolescents, depressives past the high-risk period, anorexics, minor manics, Alzheimer's, cokeheads, and alkies on detox. C Ward is small — only ten beds, and they're rarely all full — but it creates most of our hassles. C patients are unpredictable — agitated schizos with impulse control problems; rich psychopaths with connections who weasled out of jail by checking in for a few months; speed freaks and cokers who've taken it too far and ended up paranoid. But with phenothiazines, even they don't act up much — better living through chemistry, right? We run a tight ship."

Looking angry again, she stood, adjusted her cap, and dropped her cigarette into cold coffee.

"I'm gonna have to get back, see if they found him yet. Anything else I can do for you?"

"Nothing, thanks."

"Have a nice drive back, then."

"I'd like to stick around and talk to Dr. Mainwaring."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. I called him right after we discovered Jamey was missing, but he was in Redondo Beach — visitation with his kids. Even if he left right away, that's a long drive. You'll be stuck here."

"I'll wait."

She adjusted her cap and shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

Once alone, I sank back down and tried to digest what I'd learned. It didn't add up to much. I sat restlessly for a while, got up, found the men's room, and washed my face. The mirror bounced back a tired visage, but I felt full of energy. Probably running on reserves.

The clock in the reception room said 4:37. I thought of Jamey wandering in the darkness and grew taut with anxiety.

Trying to put him out of my mind, I sat back and read a copy of the hospital throwaway, The Canyon Oaks Quarterly… The cover article was on the politics of mental health financing — lots of talk about HMOs, PPOs, PROs, and DRGs. The gist of it was to urge families of patients to lobby legislators and insurance carriers for more money. Briefer pieces dealt with anticholinergic syndrome in the elderly — old people misdiagnosed as senile because of drug-induced psychosis — the fine points of occupational therapy, the hospital pharmacy, and a new eating disorders programme. The entire back page was an essay by Guy Mainwaring, M.D., F.A.C.P., medical director, entitled "The Changing Role of the Psychiatrist". In it he asserted that psychotherapy was of relatively minor value in dealing with serious mental disorders and best left to non-medical therapists. Psychiatrists, he stressed, were physicians and needed to return to the medical mainstream as "biochemical engineers". The article ended with a paean to modern psychopharmacology.

I put the paper down and waited restlessly for half an hour before hearing the rumble of an engine and the sizzle of gravel under rubber. A pair of headlights beamed through the glass surrounding the front doors, and I had to shield my eyes from the glare.

The headlights went off. After my pupils had adjusted, I made out the waffled contours of a Mercedes grille. The doors swung open, and a man charged in.

He was fiftyish and lean, with a face that was all points and angles. His hair was grey-brown and thin and brushed straight back over a generous crown. A widow's peak marked the centre of a high, wide brow. His nose was long and sharp and slightly off-centre; his eyes were restless brown marbles set deeply in shadowed sockets. He wore a heavy grey suit that had cost a lot of money a long time ago, a white shirt, and a grey tie. The suit hung loosely, trousers bagging over dull black oxfords. A man unconcerned with frills and niceties, a perfect match for the Bauhaus building.

"Who are you?" The accent was crisp and British.

I stood up and introduced myself.

"Ah, yes. The psychologist. Mrs. Vann told me about Jamey's call to you. I'm Dr. Mainwaring."

He shook my hand vigorously but mechanically.

"It was good of you to drive all the way out here, but I'm afraid I can't talk with you at length. Have to put things in order." Then, as if contradicting himself, he leaned closer. "What did the boy have to say over the phone?"

"Not much that made sense. He was extremely anxious and seemed to be experiencing auditory hallucinations. Pretty much out of control."

Mainwaring made a show of listening, but it was obvious that nothing I'd said surprised him.

"How long's he been this way?" I asked.

"Quite some time." He looked at his watch. "Sad case. Apparently he was extremely bright once."

"He was a genius. Off the scale."

He scratched his nose. "Yes. One wouldn't know it now."

"That bad?" I asked, hoping he'd say more.

"Quite."

"He was moody," I recalled, trying to get a dialogue going. "Complex — which you'd expect, given his intellectual level. But there was no indication of psychosis. If I had predicted anything, it would have been depression. What precipitated the breakdown? Drugs?"

He shook his head.

"Sudden onset schizophrenia. If I understood the etiologic process" — he smiled, revealing an Englishman's tea-stained teeth — "I'd be waiting for the call from Stockholm."

The smile faded quickly.

"I'd best be off," he said, as if talking to himself, "to see if he's turned up. I've avoided drawing the authorities into this — for the sake of the family. Bit if our people don't find him soon, I may have to call the police. It gets quite cold in the mountains, and we can't have him catching pneumonia."

He turned to go.

"Would you mind if I waited around to see him?"

"I'm afraid that wouldn't be advisable, Dr. Delaware — confidentiality and all that. I appreciate your concern and regret your driving out here for nothing. But before anything else, the family needs to be notified — which may take some doing. They're in Mexico on holiday, and you know the phones down there." His eyes darted distractedly. "Perhaps we can chat at some later date — once the proper releases have been signed."

He was correct. I had no right — legally or professionally — to a shred of information on Jamey. Even the moral prerogatives were vague. He'd called me for help, but what was that worth? He was crazy, incapable of making rational choices.

And yet he'd been rational enough to plot and carry out his escape, sufficiently intact to obtain my number.

I looked at Mainwaring and knew that I'd have to live with the questions. Even if he had the answers, he wouldn't be doling them out.

He took my hand again and pumped it, muttered something apologetic, and rushed off. He'd been cordial, collegial and had told me nothing.

I stood alone in the empty waiting room. The sound of shuffling feet made me turn. Edwards, the guard, had waddled in, somewhat unsteadily. He threw me a feeble imitation of a tough guy stare and fondled his billy club. From the look on his face it was clear he blamed me for all his troubles.

Before he could verbalise his feelings, I saw myself to the door.