Own the Wind

Chapter Ten

Rebound

“VIP! V… I… fuckin’… P!”

This was boomed out by the huge, shaggy blond-haired, russet-bearded guy that stood behind the espresso counter at Fortnum’s Used Books.

We had just come through the door, and I noted that he was not only looking our way but pointing a finger in our direction.

I’d only been there once years ago, the time I ran into Shy. But when he told me he was a regular there, I’d never come back for fear of running into him.

So it clearly wasn’t me he was declaring a VIP. The man lumbered from behind the espresso counter, pushed through the people standing in front of it and headed straight to Landon who, while I’d showered, had changed out of his fatigues into jeans and a tee.

When the barista made it to Landon, they did the man-hug-slapping-the-backs thing, and I was close enough to hear the crazy guy mutter in Lan’s ear in what was still a boom but muted, “Safe. Home. Welcome back, son.”

I didn’t know this guy but something about that, probably the deep emotion I heard in his voice, made tears sting my eyes as I watched the crazy guy hold onto Landon like he was something precious for several long beats before he pulled away.

He pulled away but he didn’t go too far. He kept hold of Lan’s hand between them and curled his other beefy mitt around Landon’s shoulder, shaking it slightly, eyes locked to Lan’s and muttering in his low boom, “Welcome home.”

Shy, who was holding my hand, let it go to slide his arm around my shoulders and tuck me close to his side. This was another demonstration of how he could read my mood without even looking in my eyes.

Watching a soldier’s welcome home, that soldier being Shy’s brother, I needed him to hold me.

The crazy blond guy took a step toward the counter and declared, a lot louder, “Coffee is free for you. We do that for heroes.” His blue eyes swung toward Shy. “Sorry, travelin’ man, you and your girl gotta pay. If it was up to me, I’d give free coffee to hero’s families too, but when I do that shit, Indy throws a conniption.”

And with that, he lumbered away.

“Uh… I take it you know that guy,” I noted.

Landon burst out laughing while Shy gave me a sweet, sexy smile, and neither man bothered to answer a question the answer to which was obvious. We just moved to the counter.

All went well with the ordering and paying portion of the normally simple and drama-free task of ordering a coffee drink.

That was, until we were waiting at the other end of the counter for our drinks, and the crazy guy suddenly arched the espresso machine filter through the air, which was luckily mostly (but not completely) free of used coffee grounds. He used it to point toward the couch in front of the window and totally ignored the small splash of coffee grounds that plopped and slid across the ordering counter.

Then he boomed, “VIP seating! Move your asses! We got a soldier just got home and his ass is sittin’ in that couch!”

The people on the couch stared at the big man for about a half a second then they wisely scurried.

It was then the pretty blonde woman with the unbelievably glamorous smile who was also behind the counter aimed that glamorous smile my way. I suspected she did this since I’d been staring at the crazy guy like he was, well… a crazy guy.

“Tex is harmless,” she explained. “It takes a while to believe that, since he’s also totally nutso, but, I promise, he’s harmless.”

What I knew was he was loud and bossy, and he appreciated the sacrifice members of our military made for us, so I could get over the loud, bossy, and crazy bits.

Therefore, I smiled back.

She tipped her head to the couches. “Go, sit before Tex tells you to do it in a way that people at Walgreens a block away will hear. I’ll bring these out.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

“Don’t mention it,” she mumbled, her eyes sliding back to Tex, who was again banging on the machine that looked like it cost as much as my living room furniture (and more) like it only produced under the most abusive of conditions.

Shy flexed his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the couch. We hit the seating section in front of the windows, and Shy again put me where he wanted me, settling me into the corner of the couch. He sat on the arm beside me and pulled me up against him.

The nice woman came out with our drinks, and I had a hopefully undetected mini-orgasm when I tasted my drink. Really, the crazy guy was an artist. Shy and Landon were catching up, which, not surprisingly, didn’t give me a lot of opportunities to enter the conversation.

This went on for a while. Long enough for my mind to wander to things I could be doing. Such as, say, ascertaining if I was going to be blacklisted by the traveling nurse’s agency for backing out of a job and calling the HR Department of the hospital to see if I could have my old one back and phoning my landlord to see if I could stay in my apartment although I gave up my lease.

Nothing important.

I didn’t want to get impatient. I wanted the opportunity to get to know Landon, though that kinda wasn’t happening except for me doing that by following their conversation.

Not to mention, I’d never seen Shy like this. Obviously happy his brother was home safe. Obviously happy he and I had moved to another level of our relationship. Obviously happy in a way that made my belly feel warm that he was in the company of two people he cared about.

Not that I didn’t want him to have that. Of course I did.

It was just that yesterday I had let a kiss change the course of my whole life. I had crap to do, and sitting and listening to two badasses shoot the breeze was not a high priority.

Nevertheless, I settled in for the long haul while mentally designing my to-do list when Shy noted our mugs were all empty and he announced he was getting us more drinks.

He kissed the top of my head and headed to the counter.

I watched him go, happy to have something to do that I immensely enjoyed, like watching him move, when I heard Lan call my name and my gaze swung to him.

“So you two are tight,” he remarked and I smiled.

“Yeah, we’re tight,” I confirmed.

He looked over his shoulder toward Shy before he leaned forward in the armchair, settling his elbows to his knees. His expression changed and I braced.

The expression change wasn’t mean or ugly. It wasn’t even blank, like he was hiding something from me.

But it still wasn’t good.

“Park and I are close,” he declared, and I nodded since I knew this. He continued, “We talk. The last year, not often, can’t do that too often when you’re in the thick of shit. But when we do, we lay it out.”

Uh-oh.

I couldn’t know for certain what was coming, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a feeling.

“Okay,” I said cautiously, sucking it up, wanting it over and inviting him to share what was on his mind.

Lan took me up on my invitation.

“Last thing I heard about you, Tabby, was that you were about to tie the knot and it was a coupla weeks after that went…” he paused and I knew he was trying to find the right words when he finished “… south.”

“Yeah,” I verified, still talking softly. “That went south.”

“Sorry, honey,” he whispered, and the way he said it was almost as sweet as his brother could be. I liked that even though I didn’t like our topic of conversation. Still, I nodded.

“That was a while ago, Landon,” I informed him. “Almost a year.”

“Yeah,” he muttered then he asked, “After the…” another hesitation “… other guy, is Park your first?”

I felt a tingle slide down my back, the kind that didn’t feel great.

This was none of his business. Okay, he was Shy’s brother, they were close so it kinda was.

It also kinda wasn’t.

“I’m not sure—” I started, but stopped when he shook his head and lifted a placating hand.

“Please get this, Tabby. He’s my brother. He’s my best friend. We’ve been through a lot of shit. In an effort to survive that, we had to learn how to unload and we did that by unloading on each other. After we both left that life, that didn’t stop. In other words, I know about you.” His eyes held mine. “All about you, Tabby.”

This wasn’t great news.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he lifted his hand again and kept his eyes locked to mine.

“I know he was a dick to you. When you laid it out for him, he gave that to me and I can see why you thought he was a dick. I also know he talked a lot about his brothers in his Club, and he talked about some of the family attached to that Club, and most of that family he talked about was you and you weren’t even talkin’ to him. He didn’t tell me why that was, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t get a read that he was into you. Seein’ him with you, the way I’ve never seen him with another woman, I get now he’s not into you. He’s into you.”

Well, that felt nice.

“I’m into him too,” I shared.

Lan nodded. “I can tell. I’m missin’ somethin’ from the last deep conversation I had with Park, seein’ as it was a long time ago, I can tell that too. What I gotta know is that this isn’t you steppin’ out from under grief, usin’ him to do it, and then you’re gonna leave him behind to go find another clean-cut guy you wanna hitch your star to.”

At that, my back went straight.

“I’m Chaos,” I reminded him, and he nodded.

“You are. I know that. Reigning princess. It’s my understanding, though, you turned your back on that for your last man.”

He was correct but he was going in the wrong direction.

“You can’t control who you fall in love with, Landon,” I pointed out, trying to keep the sharp out of my voice.

“No, you can’t. But you can dig down deep and assess if the man you’re with now genuinely means somethin’ to you, like you do to him, or if you’re on the rebound.”

I sucked in breath in an effort not to get angry and when I got it under control, I told him firmly, “I’m not on the rebound.”

“You didn’t dig deep, Tabby,” he returned quickly but gently, and I stared at him.

Then I leaned forward and locked my eyes to his.

“You two get a moment alone and, Landon, I’ll be talking with Shy shortly to get him to give you that as well as leave me to the stuff I have to do since I made some major decisions just yesterday, possibly screwing up my career, maybe being homeless and jobless, all so I could be with your brother, and I need to sort out my life.”

His eyes flashed.

I kept talking.

“But when you two have that moment, he’ll tell you what’s been going on the last seven months. What he won’t tell you is what it meant to me because he can’t know. So, if I can manage the herculean feat of sharing all Shy meant to me in the last seven months in the two minutes I have before he returns, I’ll do that.”

He said nothing, just stared at me intently so I kept going.

“Yes, he helped me get over Jason, and he did it in a just-friends way that was no pressure. Until certain things I’ll let him share happened, he had my back every single day since I let him back in after Jason died. My loss was too fresh, I wouldn’t allow myself to consider having the same emotions for another man so soon after losing the one I intended to spend the rest of my life with, so I denied that was growing between us.”

I hesitated a moment for effect then went on.

“That said, from the very first night I let him back in, I knew what had started growing between us.”

This got another flash but I ignored it and continued speaking.

“But I didn’t deny the fact that I knew, when I was with Shy or even talking to him, I felt more me than I’d felt in years, after Jason died, before Jason died, before I even met Jason. So I can assure you I am not with Shy now as gratitude for his kindness. I’m also not with him because I’m lonely. Further, I’m not with him to test the waters of putting myself out there again.”

I sucked in a breath, held his eyes and laid it out.

For him and for me.

“I’m with him because when I’m with him, I’m free to be me. I’m with him because he’s hot. I’m with him because he lets me blather, since I’m prone to blathering, and he lets me rant when I have a bad day. I’m with him because when I rant, he makes me feel better and he does this effortlessly. I’m with him because I live for the times when I’m on the back of his bike and we’re riding together, not even talking, just being free.”

I shook my hands in front of me and kept giving Landon the honesty.

“Crap went down between us that’s my fault because I was messed up, confused, acting stupid and frankly immature, and Shy got understandably angry at me. We were apart for a month and I was lost. Totally. Lost in a way I wasn’t even lost when I lost Jason. Now we’re back together and I’m found. If I’m misinterpreting things and that all spells ‘rebound’ to you, my apologies. It doesn’t to me. For the first time in a long, long time, I’m happy. I’m also happy to take the time to prove to you I’m willing to do my part to see we go the distance. I just hope you won’t mess with it in the meantime, because you yourself said you noticed your brother is happy too, he is in a way I’ve never seen, and it would be nice if you wouldn’t fuck that up.”

“I hope you know, it goes without sayin’ I’ll give my brother that,” he replied.

“Good,” I returned instantly. “I’m glad to hear that, but just a heads-up, it would be good to know you’re also going to have his back. His brothers in the Club are protective of me, understandably more protective after what happened with Jason, and I think you might guess, when they find out we’re together, that might not go great for us. Shy hasn’t exactly lived his life holding it precious waiting for the one.”

That got me a lip twitch but I ignored that and powered on.

“We could get lucky and they’ll accept us with open arms. Unfortunately, I don’t see this happening. You know who I am, so you also know my dad is the president of the Club, and if he doesn’t feel like welcoming Shy into my life with a smile and a handshake, he can make things difficult for him. So if Shy unloads on you what might happen, I’m asking now that you don’t let your misgivings about us shadow the support you’d give to him.”

This got me another eye flash and a low, kind of rumbly, “I’d never do that, Tabby.”

“Good,” I returned. “Then I think we both know where the other stands.”

“What the fuck are you two talkin’ about?”

Shy’s voice was also low and rumbly.

Not good.

“Park—” Landon started but didn’t continue when Shy, coffee mugs in each hand, shifted to the side of Lan’s chair and turned angry eyes down at his brother.

“Do we gotta go outside and talk?” he asked.

Uh-oh.

I stood as did Landon and, not unusually, my mouth got there first.

“Everything’s cool, darlin’.”

Shy turned his eyes to me. “Not from what I heard.”

“Take two seconds,” I began, “put yourself in Landon’s shoes, think of meeting the woman who held a grudge against your brother for years and then you hear she lost a fiancé and when you show up and see they’re suddenly and inexplicably tight… what would you do?”

Shy set the mugs on the coffee table and turned to his brother.

“What I would do is have a care about the loss she had even if it isn’t still fresh and understand my brother isn’t a fuckin’ moron.”

Uh-oh!

“Shy—” I began, but Landon got there before me.

“Park, I don’t think you’re a moron, but I do think you know where I’m coming from.”

Shy’s arm snaked out, his fingers curling around the side of my neck and I found myself flying toward him, my front landing hard against the side of his body. His hand moved so his arm could curve tight around my shoulders, his other hand crossed his body so his fingers could curl into my waist and through all this, his gaze didn’t leave his brother.

“Look at me, what do you see?” he growled and when Landon didn’t answer, he repeated his demand, “What do you see?”

Oh God.

I didn’t know whether to feel elated because I knew what Shy thought Landon would see or terrified because I didn’t want a bust-up to happen in Fortnum’s bookstore, not with that crazy guy behind the counter. He’d side with Landon and Shy would be outnumbered.

My eyes shifted to Landon to see him taking us in then they moved to Shy’s face.

“I see it, Park,” he said softly.

“Fuckin’ brilliant, Lan,” Shy bit off. “Now, you get this. Do not”—he leaned us toward his brother—“ever blindside my woman like that. I’ll let this one go ’cause I’m happy as fuck you’re home. It happens again, I won’t let it go. Are you with me?”

“I didn’t take any offense, Shy, honestly,” I told him quickly, hoping to defuse his anger, even as I felt the warm protectiveness of his words settling straight into my soul.

His eyes sliced down to me. “Well I did.”

Message clear.

“Righty ho, biker boss,” I muttered quickly and Shy’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t be fuckin’ cute and, honest to God, if you lick your lip, I’ll lose my mind. Next time you lick your lip you do it when we are nowhere near a public place and I can let loose the reaction I’ve had half a million fuckin’ times over four fuckin’ years every time I’ve seen you do it, not here, in a bookstore where I can’t.”

Regardless of the tense situation, that gave me a tingle and an even warmer feeling settling in my soul, but I fought the urge to lick my lip (which was precisely what I was going to do) and I just stared at him.

He stared at my mouth then his gaze went to my eyes then he looked back at his brother.

So did I and I saw him smiling.

“I’m not findin’ anything worth smilin’ about,” Shy warned.

“Sorry, Park, but, gotta admit, I’m smilin’ so I don’t laugh my ass off, since if I did that, I’m gettin’ the sense you’d take a swing at me.”

“I’m not findin’ anything worth laughin’ about either,” Shy stated.

“That’s because you can’t see you two. Seriously, Park, I gotta say it. You’re totally fuckin’ cute together.”

I pressed my lips together in another effort not to lick my lip, pretty sure Shy would never want to be described as cute ever.

I was wrong.

“No shit? You just noticed that? Jesus, Lan,” Shy replied.

“No. Noticed it at your house but was more focused on your girl bein’ cute, hot, and in a sheet. Since she’s fully clothed now, it’s comin’ through more.”

This, again, was what I considered not a good response from Landon Cage, seeing as I didn’t suspect Shy would like it made clear his brother thought I was cute and hot and got distracted by me being in a sheet, and this time I was right.

“Are you shitting me?” Shy ground out.

“Can we drink coffee?” I jumped in. “I need caffeine. Then I need food. Then I need to make a few calls so I can figure out if I’ve got a home and a job. Watching you two badasses go head to head, albeit hot, is not helping me sort out my life. So if you’d get a move on from this, I’d appreciate it.”

Shy’s eyes quickly came down to me and I noted immediately his expression had changed from anger to soothing.

“Sugar, you’ll be good,” he assured me.

“Yeah, I will, but to be good, I need to make a few phone calls, so can we get on with our morning?” I fired back, and his lips twitched.

“We can get on with our morning,” he agreed.

“Awesome,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at Shy, but when they hit Landon, I smiled.

He smiled back.

“Travelin’man!” Tex the crazy coffee guy boomed. “Your drink is gettin’ cold. Get your ass over here and get it ’cause I’m not makin’ another one unless you pay for it.”

Shy gave me a squeeze then gave his brother a look that told him to behave the thirty seconds Shy would be gone, and he sauntered over to get the last coffee.

I gave Lan another smile and sat my booty back down on the couch.

Lan folded his long body into the armchair.

“Uh, Tab, just so you know,” he started. “That time it’s gonna take for you to prove you intend to go the distance with Park just got a lot fuckin’ shorter.”

His words hit me in a nice place. I sent another smile at him and even I knew it was huge.

And happy.

I looked up at Shy as Shy looked down at me.

We were in my bed. We were naked. I was on my back, one leg wrapped around Shy’s hip, one leg extended, pressed up against his torso, ankle to his shoulder. Shy’s hips were between mine, one hand gliding up my shin at his chest, one hand in the bed, his cock moving inside me.

“Gotta say, baby,” he murmured. “You’re beautiful always but you’re seriously fuckin’ beautiful when you’re takin’ me.”

God.

God.

I loved it when he said stuff like that while he was making love to me.

“Gotta say, darlin’,” I murmured back huskily. “You’re handsome always, but you’re seriously handsome when you’re giving it to me.”

His eyes, already hot, scorched into me even as his mouth curved and his hand moved down, down, down, until it curved around my thigh. His thumb found me as he whispered, “Let’s see how much more beautiful you can be.”

Then he pressed and circled. I moaned, my neck arched, my leg around him tensed, and his hips drove harder and faster between mine.

“Beauty, unbelievable,” he growled.

I tipped my half-mast eyes to him, his face darker, his eyes so hot I thought the bed would combust, and he was right.

Beauty, unbelievable.

Not me.

Him.

His thumb pressed deeper, circled faster as his hips pumped harder, and I whispered urgently, “Shy.”

“Come without me, honey. This time I wanna watch.”

Free to do as he asked, I did and it was spectacular.

It was only when I was coming down that his thumb left me. He rolled us so he was on his back, I was astride him, and both his hands framed my head, moving it so he could look at me.

“Take me there,” he ordered roughly. “I wanna watch you move on me.”

Without delay, wanting to give him what he wanted, I sat up and gave him what he wanted. Doing it slowly at first, then faster, harder, my hands moving on his chest, my eyes never leaving his face, my excitement building again as I watched what I was giving him build, then his hands at my hips yanked me down, kept me full of him, and he gave it to me.

As he felt his orgasm, I dropped to him, chest to chest, my fingers drifting over his skin, my mouth in his neck, my tongue darting out to taste.

He closed his arms around me and he kissed me on my forehead. His head righted, I shoved my face in his neck, and we lay there for a while, silently.

I didn’t know what Shy was thinking about, but I took that time to savor the last forty-five minutes. Then I took more time savoring my most favorite parts. Since all of the parts were savor-worthy, this took a while.

After that, my mind moved to my day, post coffee with two badass brothers.

The good news was, my apartment was mine again. They hadn’t even put in an ad, so they were happy for me to sign another lease.

The bad news was they expected me to sign a twelve-month lease. I was down with that, kind of. I needed someplace to stay at the present moment and, with my job in the air, I was kind of stuck staying where I was rather than apartment hunting and explaining how I’d pay rent if I didn’t have income. That said, I felt it might be time to move onto something a tad bit nicer, and if they’d switch to month-to-month and I got my employment sorted, I’d have the opportunity to do that in the not-too-distant future.

Shy wasn’t down with it, like, at all.

Although I’d asked Shy for time to get my stuff straightened out, which would give the brothers time to reconnect without my listening ear, Shy had refused to give it to me. This kinda freaked me out, because it pissed me off and I was confronted yet again, in less than twenty-four hours, with the balancing act I had to perform to be with a biker.

At least that was what I thought until Shy explained it to me.

“Waited for you for four years, Tabby, baby. Four. Spent a lot of that time thinkin’ I’d never have you. Now I got you, not even for a day, I’m not big on lettin’ you go. Give me that for now, yeah? Make your calls here.”

That was sweet as well as loving, so I gave him that.

We quickly hit another danger zone when he heard me talking on the phone about the lease.

I knew he didn’t like what he was hearing when he pulled my phone out of my hand, muttered into it, “She’ll call you back,” then his finger hit the screen and he looked at me.

Feeling pressure building in my head at this maneuver, I opened my mouth to, say, maybe, scream, but he beat me to speaking.

“A twelve-month lease is not gonna happen. Your place is okay but only okay,” he declared. “It’s too small, I’m not thrilled about the ’hood it’s in, and this works, babe, we’re movin’ on together and no way it’s big enough for us both. I’m not waitin’ out a twelve-month lease. I’m not puttin’ up with what I don’t want for twelve months. And I don’t want you in a place that’s not good enough for you for twelve months. So you are not stayin’ there for twelve months. Tell them month-to-month. If they flinch, they deal with me.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but in order not to have words with him in front of his brother, I did as I was told. They flinched. Shy heard it, took the phone from me again, I glared at him then glared at his smiling brother who was privy to all this, seeing as we were back at Shy’s place, and then I listened to Shy try and reason with them.

This didn’t work so Shy said in the phone, “Right. You’ll be seein’ me in thirty minutes and I suggest you take that time to think real hard on that decision.”

Then he tossed my phone to me, muttered, “Be back,” and took off before I could say word one.

I stared at the door that closed behind him wondering how he would know how to find my landlord.

Then I stared at the door trying to convince myself that didn’t just happen.

Then, when I realized that did just happen, I tamped down the urge to throw something at the door.

Then I stabbed at my phone and called Shy.

I did this repeatedly.

He didn’t answer for forty-five minutes and when he did, his greeting was, “Got month-to-month, babe. Tell Lan to load you up in his truck. I’m makin’ steaks tonight at your place. Meet me at King Soopers on Colorado Boulevard.”

Then he hung up on me.

Yep. Hung. Up. On. Me!

Apparently he used his badass biker ways to find my landlord and strong-arm a month-to-month lease out of him. Although this was what I wanted, contradictorily, the way Shy made it come about (specifically my nonparticipation in that), didn’t make me happy.

Lan didn’t chime in until I was fuming in his truck. “Let him do what he’s gotta do.”

I kept my mouth set and my eyes out the side window.

“Tabby, seriously, listen to me,” Lan carried on. “He’s my big brother and a long time ago, he cast himself in the role of protector and he’s good at it. He was scary capable of taking shit and giving it, just as long as he saved me from havin’ to do either. He gets off on this crap. Let him do it.”

I didn’t like the sound of that but I let that part go. I’d talk to Shy about that later.

Instead, I turned to look at Lan. “He can’t go around threatening and intimidating everyone in my life to get me what I want or what he wants me to have.”

Lan grinned at me and replied jauntily, “Sure he can.”

I glared at him.

“Bet your dad does that shit,” Lan went on. Dad did, for me, Rush, Ty-Ty, any of his brothers, anyone he gave a crap about.

God.

I was screwed.

On the ride to King Soopers, I decided to let this go and fight another day. Today needed to be a good day for everybody and anyway, month-to-month worked for me and I doubted Shy stuck my landlord with a knife, so I decided that all’s well that ends without bloodshed.

We got groceries. We had steaks. We drank beer. Lan took off to crash at Shy’s place. I explained to Shy that while he was off terrorizing my landlord, I’d called the hospital and learned they’d already advertised my position so if I wanted it back, I had to apply for it.

His response was, “They’ll pick you, baby.”

Then he picked me, as in picked me up, and carried me to the bedroom.

Commence making love which led us to now.

I broke the silence with a soft, “You… in my bed.”

I closed my eyes when Shy tightened his arms around me and stayed that way, but he said nothing. Then again, the arm thing said it all.

“I’m glad your brother’s back,” I mumbled into his skin, and he gave me another squeeze.

“Me too.”

“It was cool how he surprised you,” I noted.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

I pulled in breath. Then I stated, “Just for the record, before you go off to play biker badass on something that affects me, I’d prefer it if we talked about that thing that affects me first. There were other ways to solve today’s problem. If we decided month-to-month was the way to go and they didn’t give it to me, I could have stayed with Dad and Tyra or Natalie until my life got back on track and I found a place I liked or, if we were there when that time came, we found a place we wanted.”

“My way was faster and less headache,” he replied.

Crap, he had a point.

I sighed.

His body shook, I knew he was silently laughing but I ignored that.

Then he murmured, “Slide off me, Tabby, but do it slow. I like it like that.”

That gave me a tingle, but instead of sliding off, I thought about why he needed me to, which was so he could go to the bathroom and deal with the condom.

“I’m on the pill,” I told him quietly.

His arms gave me another squeeze but this one felt reflexive, so I lifted up to look down at him.

Then I pulled in another breath and started carefully, “Before, were you—?”

He didn’t make me finish.

He quickly cut me off with another squeeze of his arms, the pressure not releasing, before he stated firmly, “Always.”

“So we can—?”

He again interrupted me to order gently, “Slide off, honey.”

I held his eyes a beat before I nodded then I slid off, slowly, watching his face as I did, which stated eloquently he liked the feel just as much as I did.

Once I’d slid him out of me, he rolled me to my back, leaned in to kiss my chest and then the underside of my jaw, then he gave me a sexy smile then he rolled off the bed.

By the time he sauntered back into my room naked, I was standing by the side of the bed and had on a pair of undies but had yet to get to the nightie. I didn’t get a chance to locate one before Shy had me back in bed with him on top of me, his face serious.

“Right, we’ll do this quick and hopefully not painful,” he began ominously. “For three months, it’s only been Rosalie. The month before that, nobody. I didn’t lie, babe, always careful. Always. But I’m gonna get tested so you know I’m givin’ you nothin’ but me when it’s only you and me with nothin’ in between. We’ll wait for the results and then it’ll be just you and me. You cool with that?”

I was, totally. It was way beyond what I expected he’d do without me even asking and it made me feel safe in more ways than knowing making love with him would be safe.

“Thanks, Shy,” I whispered.

“You’re welcome, Tabby,” he whispered back.

I grinned.

Shy kissed me.

Ten minutes later, my panties were gone.

Two hours later, I passed out on top of Shy, sated, exhausted, relaxed as all get out.

And happy.