Owning Jacob - SA

Epilogue

The wasp bumped against the window. The sun streamed in through the whole length of the west-facing wall, filling the studio with light. The next window along was open.

Zoe went over and tried to cuff the wasp towards it with her hand. “Go on, piss off.” Its buzzing rose in pitch until it found the gap and flew out. “Stupid things.”

“You should just squash them,” the girl said, unscrewing the cap from a bottle of mineral water. “I always do.”

Zoe looked embarrassed. “If it had been a fly I would have.”

Ben didn’t say anything. He’d seen her usher out flies as well, but she did her best to keep her humanitarian tendencies strictly in the closet. He saw her glance at him as he struggled with the camera lens, but she made no offer to help. After a few false starts they’d established that he would manage by himself, no matter how long it took. Sometimes the shoots ran a little late, but so far no one had complained. The quality of his work wasn’t affected.

Besides, he was becoming more adept. The prosthetic hand had been difficult at first, but he was growing used to it. It was his left, which he only used to hold and support anyway.

Once you got over the shock of seeing the arrangement of metal rods, wires and plastic instead of flesh-and-bone fingers, there was an almost aesthetic beauty about the thing. It was just a matter of getting acclimatized. They’d told him at the prosthesis unit that there were other models he could have, some of them styled and coloured to look more realistic, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. The blatant artifice of the present one seemed more honest.

He’d begun making a photographic study of it, both on and off what was left of his maimed hand, experimenting with the effect he’d discovered with the dead flowers. He wasn’t sure yet how well it would turn out, or if he would ever show it to anyone, but it was something he wanted to do. If nothing else it was good therapy. It forced him to accept what had happened.

He got the lens off and fitted another, aware of Zoe and the model trying not to watch.

“Five minutes and then we’ll make a start on the last session, okay?” he said.

He put the camera down and went over to where Jacob was sitting on the settee. “Fancy anything to drink, Jake?”

Jacob shook his head, not looking up from the jigsaw puzzle spread out on the coffee table. For a change he was assembling this one face up.

Ben held the prosthetic hand under his nose and moved its fingers. Jacob broke off what he was doing to study it.

Ben watched him. He would miss having him at the studio after half-term finished. He’d worried about how him being there during shoots would work out, but it had been fine. He thought Jacob had enjoyed it too, but it was sometimes difficult to tell.

The residency application had been approved while Ben was still in hospital. The adoption proceedings were still under way, and might take another year. But he’d been assured there would be no problem.

He wouldn’t be entirely easy until then, though.

He tried to pick up a piece of jigsaw and succeeded at the fourth attempt. He held it out. Jacob took it, put it back with the rest of the jumbled-up pieces, and selected his own.

“Smartarse,” Ben said. “I’ll tell Grandma Paterson not to let you play on her chairlift this weekend.”

Jacob smiled briefly. His usual absent expression returned as he examined the prosthesis. It still fascinated him. He touched the steel rods and wires, lightly tracing their shapes.

Ben manipulated them for him. The boy raised the hand to his face and looked through it. Kale’s eyes stared out at Ben through the steel fingers.

“You about ready?” Zoe called.

Ben gently moved his hand away.

“Okay.”

Jacob went back to the puzzle.