Passion for Him

Chapter 12

It was a knock that woke her. At first groggy with the remnants of sleep, Maria took a moment to recognize her surroundings. Then the memories of the day before and the long, sleepless night rushed back in a deluge. She sat up abruptly, tossed back the covers, and rushed to the door.

“Christopher!” With joy, she flung herself into her husband’s arms, and he crushed her to him, lifting her feet from the floor and stepping into the room.

“How did you find me so quickly?” she asked, as he kicked the portal closed behind him.

“It would have been quicker, damn you, if you had stayed in one of my inns and not this hovel! Why the devil are you here?”

“Simon insisted.” She had tried to suggest they use one of the many homes Christopher owned across the entire length and breadth of the country. They were not grand. They were small cottages, inhabited by those who lived off pensions provided by St. John. The homes were safe, comfortable, and usually located in quiet corners where few questions were asked and fewer visitors came by. Nicknamed “inns” for both the accurate description of the service provided and also for the anonymity afforded by so generic a name, they were responsible for saving many lives.

“Damn him, too,” Christopher said. Then he took her mouth, his head tilting to fit his lips to hers.

When she was limp and breathless, he muttered, “Vexing wench. Why must you torment me by being so troublesome?”

“This is not my doing!” she protested, tossing his hat aside.

“Damned if it isn’t.” He carried her to the bed and tossed her upon it, his gaze heating at the sight of her clad in only a chemise. Shrugging out of his fawn-colored coat, he said, “If you had not indulged Amelia in her fancy, we would not be taxed with chasing her, and I would not have spent the frigid night in a carriage.”

“She would have gone alone, I know it.” Maria crawled beneath the covers.

Christopher rebuilt the fire. Then he discarded his waistcoat, removed his boots, and climbed into bed with her, wearing his breeches and shirtsleeves.

“Tell me how you found me with such haste,” she said, curling into his side.

“When Sam returned with the news of where you had gone, he mentioned Quinn. I sent men to find his lodgings, and when they discovered where he was staying, they found his valet packing. I followed him and he led me here.”

Frowning, Maria lifted her head. “How is that possible? We had no notion that we would be staying at this establishment until we chanced upon it.”

“Quinn must have known. His valet and the abigail of his French companion came directly to this place. You did say he insisted.”

“He insisted we stay near the road.” But, now that she thought of it, she remembered that it was Simon who’d begged that they take shelter at the first inn they came to just before Reading. She had protested the sorry appearance of the lodging, but he had complained of a sore arse and growling stomach.

“I do not understand.” She sat up and faced her reclining spouse. “Our meeting in the shop was unplanned, I am certain of it. Even if I were wrong about that, there was no way for Simon to know Amelia would run off as she did.”

“But, if he knew who Amelia was chasing and where the man might be headed…” Christopher’s words faded, leaving her to draw her own conclusions.

“He told me they were already intent on a holiday, yet you say his valet and belongings were not yet ready. Why the ruse? Why pretend to help me, when he had his own motives for following?”

“We will have to ask him those questions in a few hours, when we rise.”

“A few hours?!”

He yawned and tugged her back into his arms. “His room is guarded, and the hour is still relatively early. I sent riders ahead to follow the trail. There is nothing pressing that cannot wait the duration of a much-needed nap. I require some sleep this morn or I will be useless the rest of the day. Besides-and you must forgive me for pointing this out-you do not look rested either.”

Maria settled into her husband’s embrace with lingering reluctance. She was a woman who acted swiftly. Doing so had kept her alive. “I cannot sleep well without you near,” she confessed.

He hugged her tighter and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It pleases me to hear that.”

“I must have become accustomed to your snoring.”

His head lifted. “I do not snore!”

“How would you know? You are asleep when you do it.”

“Someone would have mentioned it to me before now,” he argued.

“Perhaps you exhausted them so that they slept right through it.”

Growling, he rolled and pinned her beneath him. She blinked up at him with mock innocence. No one dared to tease the fearsome pirate, except for her. Goading his ire was a delicious temptation she could not resist, because the more she agitated him, the more sexually focused he became.

“If you need exhausting, madam,” he bit out, reaching between them to unfasten his breeches, “I am more than capable of managing that task.”

“You said you were useless and required a nap.”

He shoved up the hem of her chemise and cupped her sex in his hand. Instantly, she was wet for him. Hot and creamy with desire. She moaned as he stroked her, and he smiled arrogantly, pulling away to position his cock.

“Does this feel useless to you?” he purred, pushing the hard length into her.

“Oh, Christopher,” she breathed, awash in heated delight. After nearly six years of marriage, her ardor for him had not lessened one bit. “I love you so. Please don’t fall asleep before I come…”

“You will pay for that,” he said in a voice slurred with pleasure.

He made certain she did. And it was wonderful.

Colin was rinsing off his razor when a stray noise caught his attention and arrested his movements. He listened carefully, his nerves already stretched by the upcoming confrontation.

Amelia had returned to her chamber some time ago, but he doubted she slept. She was too curious, too impatient by nature. Knowing her as well as he did, he imagined she paced her room and glanced repeatedly at the clock, counting down the minutes to the time when he would reveal his identity to her.

There. It came again. The perceptible sound of scratching at the door.

Setting his blade on the washstand, he grabbed a cloth and was drying his face when his valet opened the door. Jacques entered bearing a grim expression.

“Miss Benbridge has been found, mon ami.”

Colin stilled. “By whom?”

“Riders this morning. They spoke with the giant who came with her and then turned about.”

Heaving out his breath, Colin nodded. “Did you arrange the private dining room as I requested?”

“Mais oui.”

“Thank you. I will be down in a moment.”

The door shut with a quiet click, and Colin hastened his toilette. He had promised Amelia an explanation, and he intended to give it to her without interruption.

Nodding to his valet, he presented his back and shrugged into the coat he had selected that morning. It was a striking garment, reminiscent of a male peacock’s beautiful plumage. The cost of the intricately embroidered ensemble, which included breeches and silver-threaded waistcoat, was obvious. The Colin Mitchell who Amelia remembered so fondly would never have been able to purchase clothing so expensive. He wore it now as an outward display of his rise in the world. His dream of becoming a man capable of affording her was now a reality, and he wanted her to see that straightaway.

Suitably attired and inwardly certain, Colin left his bedchamber and took the stairs to the main room. It took only a moment to find the large man who had accompanied Amelia. The giant sat with his back to the wall and his eyes trained on his surroundings. As Colin approached him, the man’s gaze sharpened with examining intensity.

“Good morning,” Colin greeted, coming to a halt directly before the table.

“Morning,” came the deep, rumbling reply. “I am Count Montoya.”

“I gathered as much.”

“There is much I need to explain to her. Will you give me the time and opportunity to do so?”

The man pursed his lips and leaned back his chair. “What do you ’ave in mind?”

“I have reserved the private dining room. I will keep the door ajar, but I beg you to remain outside.”

The man pushed to his feet, towering over Colin’s not inconsiderable height. “That will suit both me and my blade.”

Colin nodded and stepped aside, but as the giant moved to pass him, he said, “Please give her this.”

He handed over the items in his hand. After a brief pause, they were taken from him. Colin waited until Amelia’s guard had ascended the stairs; then he moved to the private dining room and mentally prepared for the most difficult conversation of his life.

The moment Maria entered the main room of the inn, Simon knew he was in trouble. She bore the glow of a woman well fucked, but if that had not given away the end of his gambit, her change of clothes would have. Confirmation came when Christopher St. John entered the space a few steps behind his wife.

“What a lovely way to begin the day,” Lysette said with laughter in her voice. Much as he usually detested her enjoyment of drama, today it was a relief after her odd behavior the night before.

Simon heaved a resigned sigh and pushed to his feet.

“Good morning,” he greeted, bowing to the striking couple. The combination of St. John’s golden coloring and Maria’s Spanish blood was an attractive one.

“Quinn,” St. John said.

“Simon,” Maria murmured. She lowered into the chair her husband held out for her and linked her hands primly atop the table. “You know the identity of the man behind the mask. Who is he?”

Resuming his seat, Simon said, “He is Count Reynaldo Montoya. He was in my employ for several years.”

“Was?” the pirate asked. “No longer?”

Simon related the events with Cartland.

“Dear God,” Maria breathed, her dark eyes wide with horror. “When Amelia said the man was in danger, I never imagined it would be to this degree. Why did you not tell me? Why the lie?”

“It is complicated, Maria,” he said, hating that he had betrayed the trust she bestowed so rarely. “I am not at liberty to divulge Montoya’s secrets. He has saved my life many times over. I owe him at least my silence.”

“What of my sister?” she cried. “You know how much she means to me. To know that she was at risk and not warn me…” Her voice broke. “I believed you and I were closer than that.”

St. John reached over and clasped his wife’s hand. The gesture of comfort pained Simon deeply. Out of all the women in the world, Maria was the dearest to him.

“I wanted to help you find her and then send her to safety with you,” Simon said, “leaving Montoya and I to finish this business.”

Maria’s gaze narrowed in her fury. It radiated from her, belying the girlish image created by her delicate floral gown. “You should have told me, Simon. If I had known, I would have managed the situation far differently.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “You would have tasked dozens of men with the search, which would have alerted Cartland and put her at greater risk.”

“You do not know that!” she argued.

“I know him. He worked for me. I know all his strengths. Finding lost people and items is his forte. Lackeys scouring the countryside would attract the attention of a simpleton, and Cartland is far from that!”

It was the pirate’s raspy drawl that cut through the building tension. “How do you signify, Mademoiselle Rousseau?”

Lysette waved one delicate hand carelessly. “I am the judge.”

“And the executioner, if need be,” Simon grumbled.

St. John’s brows rose. “Fascinating.”

Maria pushed back from the table and stood. Simon and St. John stood as well.

“I have wasted enough time here,” she snapped. “I must find Amelia before anyone else does.”

“Allow me to come with you,” Simon asked. “I can help.”

“You have helped quite enough, thank you!”

“Lysette witnessed three riders making inquiries in the dead of night.” Simon’s tone was grim. “You need all the assistance you can muster. Amelia’s safety lies within your purview, but Cartland and Montoya lie within mine.”

“And mine,” Lysette interjected. “I do not understand why we do not contact the man you work for here in England. He would seem to be an untapped, valuable resource.”

“St. John likely has a larger, more reliable web of associates,” Simon argued. “One more swiftly galvanized into action.”

“Maria.” St. John set his hand at the small of her back. “Quinn knows the appearances of both men. We do not. We would be blind without him.”

She looked at Simon again. “Why does Montoya wear the mask?”

Careful to keep his face impassive, Simon used the excuse that Colin gave him. “He wore the mask for the masquerade. Later, he wore it to make it more difficult for Miss Benbridge to pursue him. He did not want to jeopardize her. He cares for her.”

Maria lifted her hand to stem anything else he might say.

“We have an added complication,” the pirate said. All eyes turned to him. “Lord Ware may follow.”

“You jest!” Maria cried.

“Who is Lord Ware?” Lysette asked.

“Bloody hell,” Simon muttered. “The last thing we require is the injury of a peer.”

“He asked to accompany me,” St. John said grimly. “But the departure of Quinn’s valet made waiting impossible. Still, he asked for direction, and while I was deliberately vague in hopes that he would reconsider, he may prove more tenacious than other men of his station.”

Maria exhaled sharply. “Even more reason to keep moving, then.”

“I sent the town carriage back to London,” the pirate said. “Pietro is loading the travel coach as we speak. We should make better time.”

Simon, unfortunately, did not have a change of equipage, but his bruised arse would have to make do.

With the sunrise lighting their way, they hastened toward Reading.

The moment the knock came to her bedroom door, Amelia ran to open it.

“Tim!” she cried, startled at the sight of her visitor and not very pleased. Perhaps he intended for them to leave now, which would necessitate her explaining about Montoya and her deception of the night before.

He took one look at her wild hair and disarrayed clothing and cursed with a viciousness that made her wince. “You lied to me last night!” he accused, pushing his way inside.

She blinked. How did he know?

Then she saw the items in his hand, and the answer to the question lost importance. “Let me see,” she said, her heart racing at the possibilities. Tim had the mask. How? Why?

Tim stared at her for a long, taut moment, then offered her the mask and the missive with it.

My love,

You have the mask. When next you see me, I will not be wearing it.

Your servant,

M

The sudden realization that Montoya could have fled after she departed made her feel ill.

“Dear God,” she gasped, clutching the mask to her chest. “Is he gone?”

He shook his head. “’E waits for you downstairs.”

“I must go to him.”

Amelia hurried to the untouched bed where her corset and underskirts awaited donning. Montoya hadn’t the time to dress her completely. His fear for her discovery in his room had driven him to haste. She had hoped to ask a chambermaid for help, but Tim would have to manage the task.

“I think you should wait until St. John comes,” he said. “’E’s on ’is way now.”

“No,” she breathed, pausing in midmovement. Her time with Montoya was too precious. The addition of her sister and brother-in-law would only add to the confusion she felt. “I must speak with him alone.”

“You’ve already been alone with ’im,” he barked, shooting a pointed glance at the untouched bed. “St. John will ’ave my ’ead for that. I don’t need to give ’im any more to be angry o’er.”

“You do not understand. I have yet to see Montoya’s face. You cannot expect me to face such a revelation with witnesses who are in foul temper.” She held a shaking hand out to him.

He stared at it for a long moment with his jaw clenched tight and his fists clenched tighter. “A moment ago, I admired ’im for seeking me out. Now I want to rip ’im to pieces. ’E should not have touched you.”

“I wanted him,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I pushed him. I was selfish and cared only about my own desires.”

Just as her father would have done, curse him. And curse his blood which tainted her. Everything around her was in disarray because she could think only of herself.

“Don’t cry!” Tim complained, looking miserable.

His discomfort was her fault. Somehow, she had to make everything right. The starting point was Montoya, as he was the pivotal figure who had begun this descent into madness.

“I have to go to him before they arrive.” She shrugged out of her unfastened gown, wiggled into her corset, and presented her back. “I shall need your assistance to dress.”

Tim muttered something as he stalked toward her, and by the glower he wore, she thought herself fortunate to have missed it.

“I think I’ll wed Sarah after all,” he growled, yanking on her stays so tightly, she lost her ability to breathe. “I’m too old fer this.”

Gasping and lacking the air required to speak, she swatted at him to fix it. He scowled, then appeared to notice that she was about to faint, and why. He grumbled an apology and loosened the tapes.

“I ’ope yer ’appy,” he snapped. “You’ve driven me to the altar!”

Amelia pulled on her underskirts. After Tim tied them to her, she caught up her dress from where it pooled on the floor and thrust her arms into the sleeves.

Tim’s thick fingers fumbled with the tiny buttons that secured the gown.

“I love you.” She looked over her shoulder. “I do not know if I have ever told you that, but it’s true. You are a good man.”

The flush of his skin spoke volumes.

“’E’d best marry you, if that’s what you want,” he said gruffly, his gaze on his task. “Otherwise, I’ll string ’im up and gut ’im like a fish.”

It was some sort of peace offering, and she accepted it gratefully. “I would help you, if it came to that.”

He snorted, but a quick glance over her shoulder revealed a wry curve to his lips. “’E doesn’t know what trouble ’e’s got ’imself into with you.”

Amelia shifted impatiently. “I pray we can keep the man alive long enough to show him.”

The moment Tim announced he was done, she pulled on stockings and shoes, and rushed toward the door. As she took the stairs with all the decorum she could muster, her breath shortened until she felt dizzy.

The next moments of her life would alter the future forever; she felt it in her bones. The feeling of portent was so strong, she was almost inclined to flee, but could not. She needed Montoya with a depth and strength she had thought she would never feel again. Part of her heart screamed silently at the betrayal of her first, dear love for Colin. The other half was older, wiser and understood that affection for one did not negate the affection she felt for the other.

Her hand shook as she reached for the doorknob of the private dining room. In the best of circumstances she would be nervous. She was about to face the man who had seen her and touched her in ways no one else ever had. The added tension brought on by the revealing of his face only deepened her disquiet and concern.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Amelia knocked.

“Come in.”

Before she lost her courage, she entered with as confident a stride as she could affect. She paused just inside, taking in the lay of the room with its cheerily blazing fire, large circular table draped in cloth, and walls covered in paintings of the countryside. He faced away from her before a window, his hands clasped at the small of his back, his broad shoulders covered in exquisite colorful silk, his silky black locks restrained in a queue that ended just between his shoulder blades.

The sight of his richly clad form in the simple country room was glaring. Then he turned, and her body froze in shock.

It cannot be him, she thought with something akin to panic. It is impossible.

Her heart ceased beating, her breath seized in her lungs, and her thoughts stuttered as if she had taken a blow to the brain.

Colin.

How was it possible…?

As her knees gave way, she grappled blindly for a nearby chair but missed. She crumpled to the rug, a loud gasp filling the highly charged air as her instincts rushed to the fore and forced her to breathe.

“Amelia.” He lunged toward her, but she held up a hand to stop him.

“Stay away!” she managed, through a throat clenched painfully tight.

The Colin Mitchell she knew and loved was dead.

Then, how is it, an insidious mental voice questioned, that he is here with you?

It can’t be him…It can’t be him…

She repeated that litany endlessly in her mind, unable to bear the thought of the years between them, the life he must have led, the days and nights, the smiles and laughter…

The betrayal was so complete, she could not credit that Colin was capable of it. Yet, as she stared at the dangerously handsome man who stood across from her, her heart whispered the agonizing truth.

I would know him anywhere, it said. My love.

How could she have missed the signs?

Because he was dead. Because I grieved long and deeply.

Freed from the confines of the mask, Colin’s exotic Gypsy features left no doubt that it was he. He was older, the lines of his face more angular, but the traces of the boy she had loved were there. The eyes, however, were Montoya’s-loving, hungry, knowing eyes.

The lover who’d shared her bed was Colin…

A wracking sob escaped her, and she covered her mouth with her hand.

“Amelia.”

The aching tone in which her name was spoken made her cry harder. The foreign accent was gone, leaving behind the voice she heard in her dreams. It was deeper, more mature, but it was Colin’s.

She looked away, unable to stand the sight of him.

“Have you nothing to say?” he asked quietly. “No questions to ask? No insults to hurl?”

A hundred words struggled to leave her mouth, and three very precious ones, but she leashed them tightly, unwilling to bare the depth of her pain. She stared at a small, square painting of a lake that adorned the wall. Her lower lip quivered, and she bit it to hide the telltale movement.

“My body has been inside yours,” he said hoarsely. “My heart beats in your breast. Can you not at least look at me, if you will not speak to me?”

Her silent reply was the tears that flowed in a steady, endless stream.

He cursed and came toward her.

“No!” she cried, stilling him. “Do not come near me.”

Colin’s jaw clenched visibly, and she watched the muscle tic with an odd disconnection. How strange to see Montoya’s maturity and polish within her childhood love. He looked the same and yet different. He was bigger, stronger, more vital. He was stunningly attractive, blessed with a novel masculine appeal few could rival. She used to dream of the day they would be wed and she could call him her own.

But that dream had died when he had.

“I still dream of that,” he murmured, answering the words she had not realized she’d spoken aloud. “I still want that.”

“You allowed me to believe you were dead,” she whispered, unable to reconcile the Colin she remembered with the magnificently dressed man standing before her.

“I had no choice.”

“You could have come to me at any time; instead you have been absent for years!”

“I returned as soon as I was able.”

“As another man!” She shook her head violently, her mind filling with memories of the last weeks. “It was a cruel game you played with my affections, making me care for a man who does not exist.”

“I exist!” He stood tall and proud, his shoulders back, his chin lifted. “I played no role with you. Every word that left Montoya’s mouth, every touch, was from my heart. The same heart beats in both men. We are one and the same. Both madly in love with you.”

She dismissed his claim with a wave of her hand. “You affected an accent and allowed me to believe you were disfigured.”

“The accent was a façade, yes. A way to keep you from guessing the truth before I could tell you properly. The rest was a creation of your mind, not mine.”

“Do not blame this farce on me!” Amelia struggled to her feet. “You allowed me to grieve for you. Have you any notion of what I have suffered these last years? How I have suffered these last weeks, feeling as if I was betraying Colin by falling in love with Montoya?”

Torment shadowed his features, and she hated the vicious satisfaction she felt at the sight of it. “Your heart was never fooled,” he said roughly. “It always knew.”

“No, you-”

“Yes!” His dark eyes burned with an inner fire. “Do you recall whose name you cried at the height of orgasm? When I was deep inside you, clasped in the very heart of your body, do you remember which lover’s name came to your lips?”

Amelia swallowed hard, her mind shifting through the myriad of sensations that had assailed her untried body. She remembered the look of the bullet scar on his shoulder, the way the feel of it had plagued her in some fashion she could not pinpoint.

“You were driving me mad!” she accused.

“I wanted to tell you, Amelia. I tried.”

“Later, you could have. I nearly begged you!”

“And have this discussion directly after we made love?” he scoffed. “Never! Last night was the culmination of my deepest, most cherished fantasies. Nothing could have induced me to ruin that.”

“It is ruined!” she yelled, shaking. “I feel as if I have lost two loves, for the Colin I knew is dead, and Montoya was a lie.”

“He is not a lie!”

Colin came toward her, and she hastily caught the back of a chair and pulled it between them. The sturdy wooden seat was no deterrent, however, and he shoved it aside.

She turned to flee, but he caught her, and the feel of his arms around her trembling body was too much.

Amelia hung in his embrace, devastated.

“I love you,” he murmured, his lips to her temple. “I love you.”

For so long she’d prayed to hear those words from his lips, but they were too little now and far too late.