Perfect

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT…

Oooops! So I made one teensy tiny slip-up. It happens. I’ve got a busy life, things to do, people to torture. Like four pretty little ex-best friends.

Yeah, yeah. I know you’re upset about Hanna. Wah. Get over it. I’m already planning my outfit for her funeral: appropriately somber with a touch of flash. Don’t you think little Hannakins would want us to mourn in style? But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself—Hanna does have a history of rising from the dead….

Meanwhile, Aria just can’t catch a break. Her soul-mate’s in jail. Sean hates her. She’s homeless. What’s a girl to do? Looks like it’s time for a life makeover—new house, new friends, maybe even a new name. But watch out Aria—even if your new BFF is blind to your real identity, I’ve got 20/20 vision. And you know I can’t keep a secret.

I wonder how CONVICT is going to look next to CLASS VP on Spencer’s college apps? Seems like Little Miss Golden Orchid is about to trade her kelly-green Lacoste polo for a scratchy orange jumpsuit. Then again, Spence wouldn’t have that perfect GPA if she didn’t have a few tricks up her sleeve—like, say, finding someone else to blame for Ali’s murder. But know what? She just might be right.

What about Emily, off to live with her wholesome, Cheerios-eating cousins in Iowa? Hey, maybe it won’t be so bad—she’ll be a girl-loving needle in a big old sexually repressed haystack, far, far away from my prying eyes. As if! She’s gonna go haywire when she realizes she can’t hide from me. Yeee-haw!

And finally, with Hanna out of commission, it’s time for me to take on a new victim. Who, you ask? Well nosy-pants, I’m still deciding. It’s not like it’ll be hard: everyone in this town has something to hide. In fact, there’s something even juicier than the identity of moi bubbling beneath Rosewood’s glistening surface. Something so shocking, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. So I won’t even bother. HA. You know, I kind of love being me….

Buckle up, girlies. Nothing is as it seems.

Mwah!

—A