Personal Demon

HOPE: VISIONS OF MADNESS

Joan of Arc saw visions of God. Believing she was the messenger of the Almighty she mustered the will and the passion to rally the French against the English invaders. Touched by God? Or by madness? History is filled with tales of visionary madmen, and I had no doubt Jaz was mad, with a fire that burned through self-doubt and moral qualms.

A few days ago, I’d reflected on that impulsive side of Jaz, how he pursued what he desired without fear. I’d chalked it up to a charming lack of self-doubt and self-consciousness. It was a lack of something all right…

Listening to Jaz, I remembered those moments in Benicio’s panic room, where I’d been unable to comprehend that Troy’s death would be wrong. I’d wanted it. It would serve me. Therefore, it should be.

The demon in its purest form. Ego ruled by id. That was Jaz.

I remembered too my thoughts on first walking into his apartment. I’d reflected on how his cheerful, impulsive nature was kept in check by cold sense, leading him to save money while he had it. That observation, too, came back to haunt me now.

For most people, that lack of self-doubt and conscience would be their undoing. The first time their goal exceeded their reach, they’d do something foolish and die pursuing their mad dreams. But not Jaz. He was crazy enough to hatch impossibly grandiose, destructive schemes and brilliant enough to carry them through. And if he went too far? He had Sonny to pull him back in line.

This hadn’t been the slapdash plan of two brazen young supernaturals. They’d been plotting this for years, taking a job at the Cabal and studying Carlos-the brother least likely to succeed, but the one they could best impersonate. Then they’d infiltrated the gang, seducing Guy with Jaz’s wild visions, swaying them into allies and, finally, into tools to execute their plans.

Kill the most prominent members of the Cortez Cabal family, then take the place of the remaining one?

Madness.

What if Benicio hadn’t planted me in the gang? What if Karl hadn’t called in Lucas? Would Jaz and Sonny have still failed? Even in failure, they’d achieved half their goal, and had a backup plan for the remainder.

Brilliant madness.

Lucas was their new target. They’d kill him, impersonate him and find Carlos guilty of the murder of his brothers. Then they’d let Benicio hand over Cabal power to his beloved youngest son, as Lucas “saw the light” and renounced his former crusade. When the transition was solidified, the old man would die in his sleep.

Lucas was as good a target as Carlos-maybe even better. His age, coloring and physical size were closer to Jaz and Sonny’s. Add lifts in their shoes for a few weeks until people wouldn’t notice the difference. Wear looser suits until they could lose some weight-or have Lucas bulk up. An easy transformation.

Like Carlos, Lucas would be expected to know little about the inner workings of the Cabal, so no one would question his ignorance. He was even more an outsider than his brother, and far less known in the Cabal, making him easier to impersonate.

The only sticking point was Paige.

They couldn’t fool her. So, wisely, they wouldn’t try. They’d kidnap her and keep her out of the way while “Lucas” took over the Cabal. In the meantime, he’d continue searching doggedly for his wife-suitably heroic and sentimental. By the time he found her, she’d notice he wasn’t himself, but her protests would be chalked up to post-traumatic stress. Besides, he had changed-she’d left “Lucas Cortez: Cabal-fighter” and returned to “Lucas Cortez: Cabal leader.”

Whatever Paige’s reaction, Jaz assured me the path was predetermined. Divorce.

“Irreconcilable differences. Completely understandable under the circumstances. She’ll get a nice settlement, and I’ll be free to marry you.” He grinned. “It’ll be perfect. Lucas and Paige, estranged by tragedy and circumstance, parting civilly, and then, after a suitable period, who does he turn to? The beautiful half-demon who helped him find his wife, catch his brothers’ killer and save his father, then stood by his side through it all. A fairy-tale ending.”

The only thing left was for me to call Paige. And I would, because here was the fatal flaw in Jaz’s plan.

Two years ago, when I thought I’d been working for the council, I’d pictured them as a powerful group overseeing perhaps dozens of field agents. That was the perception many supernaturals had…and one the council knew better than to dispute, because it was far more intimidating than the truth: the delegates did all the work themselves. Jaz had heard enough of my conversation with Karl that night in the apartment to figure out I worked for the council. So, to him, I was one of that presumably vast network of operatives.

If that were true, and Paige knew me only as an employee, then the story he’d concocted seemed plausible enough. I’d been seduced into Jaz and Sonny’s scheme by my demon side, but now my real nature was asserting itself and I wanted to make amends. The person I’d naturally turn to was the one outside the Cabal. The one who was powerful in her own right. And the one with a reputation for being unrelentingly fair and merciful.

Had I really considered betraying the Cabal, then changed my mind, Paige was indeed the one I’d turn to. And she would help me…if she believed me capable of such a thing. Between Paige and Karl, they’d know this was a trap. She’d never accept my invitation at face value and show up alone. No matter how careful Jaz and Sonny were, they were only two men. No match for a Cabal SWAT team.

So I called.

“CAN YOU FEEL it?”

We stood in an office building alcove, tucked into the shadows. Jaz moved behind me and put his hands on my hips, leaning against my back. When I stiffened, he only chuckled and bent to kiss my neck.

“Not so fast, huh?” He rubbed my hips. “That wasn’t a problem before. We both felt it. Fast wasn’t nearly fast enough. It was like…”

He rested his chin on the top of my head. “I can’t even describe what it was like. I’m at a loss for words. Can you believe that? It’ll be like that again, Hope. I know, right now, you’re probably thinking ‘fat chance, you son-of-a-bitch,’ but you’ll see. We’ll pull this off and I’ll serve you the Cortez Cabal on a platter.” His arms slid around me. “Yours, mine and Sonny’s. All the power you’ve ever wanted. All the power you deserve. It’ll be…” A shiver ran through him. “Perfect.”

For just a moment, feeling that rising lick of chaos, I saw his dream glittering before me.

He was right. We did have something. I was a half-demon starving for chaos, and he was a chaos feast. Maybe if I was what I feared I was, I’d hear the rumble in my belly, urging me to partake.

I did feel a rumble, but it was only my stomach churning. Minutes to go. Could I pull this off? I had to.

I glanced around, searching the shadows alongside every darkened building. Looking for Karl, even as I hoped he wouldn’t risk coming so close.

Paige had agreed to meet me. She’d been smart enough not to give anything away on the phone, in case Jaz or Sonny was listening, just like she’d been smart enough not to press for details. But I could tell by her tone that she understood.

And so, as we waited for her, the Cabal SWAT team would be taking up position two blocks away, near the meeting site.

Jaz gave another low laugh, and his fingers traced a line under my left breast. “You do feel it. Your heart’s racing.”

His voice dropped, breathing accelerating as his fingers slid over my breast. He squeezed my nipple. I wrenched out of his grasp and wheeled. He backed up, hands raised, palms out.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hope. I’ll never-I won’t push. I swear it. I just…”

His gaze traveled down me, eyelids half closing as his lips parted. Then a sharp, full-body shake.

“Damn, damn, damn. We were so close. It would have made a difference. I know it would have. I wanted you so badly and you-” Another shake, harder, then a roll of his shoulders. “Okay, okay. Not the time, I know. Right now, we need to…”

His lips pursed as if he’d lost his train of thought.

“I need to meet Paige in five minutes,” I said.

“Duh, yes. Sorry. Let’s get moving.”

I WAS SUPPOSED to meet her at a parking lot. From there, we’d walk to a newly opened club a block away. This area of downtown Miami was peppered with office towers and didn’t see much of a nightlife. Scores of lights illuminated every building, but the sidewalks and roads were nearly empty, giving the street an eerie, deserted look. I shivered and blamed the cooler night air. The Metromover whirred past, making me jump.

As we approached the parking lot, Jaz spoke. “So you’re okay with the plan, right?”

“Meet her out front and cut down the laneway to the east. If she balks at taking the service road, circle the block and you’ll grab her from the other end of the lane.”

“Good, good.”

Another half-block, then he laid his hand on my arm. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay, Hope?”

“I’m not-”

He stepped in front and lowered his face closer to mine. Worry creased a line between his eyes. “I mean it. Please, please, please, don’t screw this up. I made a deal with Sonny. He’s not happy about bringing you in, but I swore you’d be smart, and if you aren’t…” He rubbed his throat and cleared it. “Just don’t. Please, Hope. Sonny will have you guys covered the whole time. If he sees anything go wrong-you deviate from the plan, Paige takes out her cell phone…He’s a crack shot.”

“I know.”

He nodded, squeezed my arm, then sent me on my way.

RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, Paige emerged from the dark depths of the lot. As she approached, her gaze tripped along the street. Every few seconds, a car passed, more when the lights two blocks down changed. Across the road, a couple walked, presumably heading to the club. Jaz had been meticulous choosing this location. Empty enough to avoid witnesses. Busy enough that it wouldn’t spook her.

I’d worried whether the parking lot itself would be a problem. It was almost empty, and only sprinkled with lights, as if they didn’t do enough business after dark to warrant more. For a guy, not a problem. A woman might think differently.

Paige blinked as she stepped from the shadows and the streetlights hit her.

“I hope you locked your car,” I called as she approached.

She started and pulled up short. Lost in her thoughts?

“Your car,” I said. “Did you lock it?”

“Um, right. Yes.”

Her voice was pitched higher than her usual contralto and her gaze kept darting along the road. Nervous, and not doing a very good job of hiding it. I told myself I was projecting my own tension on her. But as she drew closer, I could feel her anxiety, the chaos tickling along my nerves. I caught snippets of her thoughts. Random worries that she was making a mistake, that she never should have agreed.

I longed to lean closer and whisper reassurances, but Sonny was out there, watching. I had to play this cool. Especially if she wasn’t.

“The club’s this way,” I said.

She fell into step beside me. I pointed out the couple across the road, commenting on their clothes. She said little. I yammered on, filling the dead air, hoping to calm her. Ahead, the couple crossed the road and went down the side street. We were approaching the service road.

“Bet that’s a shortcut,” I said. “Let’s take it.”

She didn’t resist and I didn’t expect her to. Getting off the street would give the Cabal team a chance to swoop in.

We started down the narrow road. It was dimly lit, but not dark. Paige walked briskly, with renewed confidence. The end was in sight, her nervousness fading. It seemed, though, as if I’d caught it. Sweat beaded along my lip.

I focused on the door ahead.

It was about eighty feet away now. I knew it should be cracked open, but from here it was impossible to see.

When I got closer, I was supposed to steer her that way, then as we passed, Jaz would throw open the door, grab Paige, then grab me. He’d pull us both inside and throw me aside. I’d pretend to hit my head and pass out. That was critical to his plan-that Paige have no idea I was involved, so she couldn’t finger me later. I had to be a co-victim until Lucas was dead and I could be “freed” while Paige remained a captive.

None of that, though, would ever come to pass, because between here and there, I had every expectation of rescue. Would they come while we were still in the lane? Or wait until Jaz pulled us inside? Either way-

Something moved to my right, the blur of a figure seeming to leap from the wall itself. I swallowed a yelp and wheeled, expecting to see a tactical team member rappelling down from the roof.

Instead, I saw an open door and a dark figure within it. Paige shrieked. Fingers clamped down on my arm. I opened my mouth to tell my rescuer that Jaz was farther down, waiting. But it was Jaz standing there. Holding me.

Paige gibbered in fear, and I had an insane urge to shout at her to stop because I couldn’t think with her chaos waves so strong, and I needed to think, but the moment I could think, I realized that help wasn’t coming, that she wouldn’t be screeching and clawing at Jaz if it was.

He flung me into a tiny room, his arm flying up as if with the momentum of the throw, but it was little more than a shove. As I stumbled, I remembered the plan. My first thought was “to hell with the plan.” But before I could catch my balance, I realized I’d be a fool not to play along.

So I let myself fall, my head hitting the concrete floor hard enough to knock Paige’s chaos waves from my head. When I closed my eyes, though, they returned, washing over me, and I let them dull the fear, whet my senses.

Across the room, Paige’s cries had fallen to stifled whimpers. Jaz was talking to her, his voice low and soothing.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. “I need you, Paige. Think about it. You’re no good to me as a hostage if you aren’t healthy.”

I cracked open my eyes. Paige had her back to the far wall, pressed against it, Jaz holding her forearms, but standing far enough away not to spook her.

She’d gone still. Lulling him before she cast a spell? I thought about getting her attention, but if she looked my way, so would Jaz. Better for him to forget I was here…

I measured the distance to him. Could he see me from this angle? I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t risk it.

I needed to move fast and bring him down so Paige could cast her binding spell. As I drew my legs in, preparing to spring, Jaz crouched, pulling Paige lower until she was sitting on the floor.

“Okay, now you wait here. I’m going to check on Hope.”

I half closed my eyes. He started to turn. I quickly caught Paige’s attention and mouthed “cast!” Her brow furrowed.

Cast. Cast, damn you! Why aren’t you-?

He moved again and I shut my eyes, then cracked them open. He had his back to me. His hand was under his jacket. I saw that, and I knew.

I flew to my feet and ran at him. I saw the gun. An explosion of terror, almost knocking me off my feet. Beautiful terror. Sweet and pure chaos. So perfect…

He raised the gun.

No!

I clamped down on my lip and the burst of pain wrenched my thoughts free. I threw myself at Jaz. I hit him. The gun fired. And then, as we hit the floor, I felt it. A second chaos blast, this one so strong I blacked out.

The waves rocked me and that was all I could think about, all I could feel. And that was okay, because as long as I felt them everything was fine. Everything was-

The waves began to ebb. No! I clung to them, holding tight, but they were slipping away now, gentler, rolling over me, the edge of terror and pain gone, only the blissful aftermath remaining.

I lifted my head. Struggled to focus. Everything in me pleaded with me to relax, just lie back and enjoy it. Don’t spoil-

I saw Paige. Crumpled against the wall. Her pretty face twisted with horror. A bullet hole through her forehead.

I screamed. As the sound ripped from my throat, it changed into a roar, the chaos bliss hardening into something that filled me, burned me, seared my eyes, my brain, my gut. Through the blaze, I saw Jaz. Only Jaz. On his feet. Coming toward me.

I lunged at him, kicking, clawing, screaming in a voice I didn’t recognize as human. I smelled blood. I felt its heat. I tasted its sweetness.

Something jabbed my arm. The prick of pain only spurred me on, but Jaz had wrenched from my grasp. I wheeled. Through the blood haze, I spotted his dark form, and I tried to launch myself at him, but I just kept turning. Turning. Turning. My knees gave way and I spiraled to the ground.

The last thing I saw was Paige’s dead eyes, staring at me.