"You fucking moron."
Jason couldn't argue with that. He'd seriously screwed everything up and desperately needed to find a way to fix it, which is why he called in the big guns.
His father.
"Tell me this is some sick joke," his father said warily.
"I wish I could, Dad," Jason said, looking over his shoulder at the small cottage as he walked along the edge of the water.
For the past three hours he'd been out here pacing, trying to figure out what the hell he should do. Finally he came to the conclusion that he was in way over his head here and needed someone with a history of charming his way out of fuckups with women and only one person came to mind.
His father fucked up more times with his mother than should be humanly possible. Not that his father screwed around on his mother. She'd simply kill the man if he ever even thought of it. No, his father could be an arrogant, hardheaded bastard that drove his mother to the brink of insanity countless times over the years.
"Let me get this straight, you let some dumb bar bimbo convince you that my poor sweet little Haley," his father said, making him shake his head ruefully. Haley managed to wrap his father around her little finger with those cupcakes and bought his undying love with fried chicken, potato salad and M & M cookies. The man's obsession with food was really pathetic.
Thank god he didn't have that problem.
"-could ever do something so heartless? Then you go ahead and screw it up instead of talking to her? What in the hell is wrong with you?" his father practically yelled, making Jason hold Haley's cell phone a good foot from his ear.
"I know I messed up, Dad," Jason said once his father stopped yelling. "Look, I need help figuring out how to fix this."
"You don't deserve my Haley," his father simply said.
Jason barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. His father was such a food slut.
"Has it occurred to you that if I don't fix things with Haley that she'll never make you that Boston cream pie she promised you?" he said, knowing the way to get his father to focus was to threaten his food.
His comment was met with a short pause.
"Okay, this is what you need to do," his father said, all business now. "You need to back off and stop apologizing."
Jason frowned. "Stop apologizing?" That didn't sound right.
"Mmmhmm, no need to keep reminding her how big of an idiot you are. She already knows, trust me. Right now you need to work on being there for her. Don't pressure her. In fact I would suggest you work on reminding her how much you care about her and how good you are for her."
He nodded slowly. "I could do that."
His father snorted his disbelief.
"I can," Jason stressed, promising himself that after Haley took him back that he'd get her to make him a Boston cream pie just so he could rub it in the old man's face.
"Just try not to fuck this up, because if you cost me Haley I'm disowning you," his father said before he hung up.
Jason placed the phone in his pocket and headed back to the cottage, deciding there was no time like the present to get started. He'd remind her how good they were together and why she adored him. It shouldn't be too hard. In fact, he was certain that one little problem was going to guarantee that she couldn't live without him.
He stepped into the kitchen just as Haley stomped angrily into the room wearing nothing but her "Geek" tee shirt. She threw him a glare and muttered something about his balls that he decided to ignore as she headed for the refrigerator. She grabbed an ice cold soda and sipped it as she glared at him.
She looked exhausted, he noted as he leaned against the counter. He had to stop himself from grinning. This was going to be so easy.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked casually, already knowing the answer. She needed him and she damn well knew it. This was going to be the way he stayed close to her while he did his best to convince her to forgive him.
Haley pushed her glasses up her nose, took a sip of Coke and simply flipped him off as she walked out of the room.
Great. He was already fucking this up, he thought, walking after her. She slammed the bedroom door shut in his face. After counting to ten, twice, he knocked on the door.
"Go. Away."
Sighing heavily, he opened the door just in time to see the bathroom door slammed shut. He walked over to the bed and sat down.
"Haley, I-"
"Look, Jason, I really can't do this with you right now," Haley said, not bothering to open the door to face him, making Jason wonder if her pushover tendencies were once again showing up. That wouldn't be good for either one of them. He needed her to deal with him, not simply avoid him. "Let me finish getting dressed them I'll give you a ride to a hotel."
"No," he said firmly. There was no way in hell he was leaving. They were going to work this out whether she liked it or not and he had a feeling she didn't.
"Fine," she grated out. "Then I'm leaving."
Oh hell no.
If she left now there'd be no stopping her from leaving his ass for good. There was no doubt in his mind that she didn't intend on giving him a ride home now, which would mean that he probably wouldn't get home until tomorrow afternoon. By then she could be anywhere doing her best to convince herself that she could do better, she could, but that wasn't the point. He couldn't let her walk away from him, not now, not ever.
He threw a quick look at the door before rushing over to Haley's little backpack that she liked to call a purse. He tore through it until he found what he needed. No doubt this was only going to piss her off more, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He pocketed her wallet and quickly checked her discarded pants, stealing the money she had in the front pocket, and her car keys before rushing out of the room.
It only took him a minute to find the perfect hiding spot, one of the dozens of decorative baskets lining the ceiling. There was no way in hell Haley was going to reach it never mind find it. After a minute he decided to add her cell phone as well. He shut it off and added it to the pile and covered his tracks.
Knowing there was no way Haley could leave him until they worked things out, Jason relaxed for the first time since this whole thing started. He walked to the kitchen feeling confident that his little plan was going to work.
He grabbed a cold soda from the fridge, wishing it was a beer, and headed for the beach. As long as his little grasshopper wasn't allowed to drink then he wouldn't drink. Not that he really expected her to be pregnant from one time, but he wasn't taking any chances.
Until he knew for sure that she wasn't pregnant with their baby she wasn't so much as looking at a drop of alcohol, which was probably going to make it more difficult to deal with him. Granted it might help his case if he got her drunk, but he wasn't willing take the risk of harming any possible baby or having her throw it in his face later that she hadn't known what she was doing when she forgave him. He wanted her stone cold sober for this, especially since she was most likely going to be the one to figure out how to fix this since he was pretty sure he'd only manage to fuck this up more.
"You bastard!" he heard Haley yell from somewhere behind him.
He looked back at her and smiled, watching as she stormed over to him with her little fists swinging by her side. She shoved her glasses back up her nose, glaring at him against the bright sunlight.
"What did you do with it, you bastard?" she demanded, coming to a halt two feet from him.
"What?" he asked innocently, taking a sip of soda.
"You know what!" she snapped.
"Hmm, I really don't," he mused, trying not to smile when she growled in irritation.
"My wallet," she bit out through clenched teeth. "I need it back so I can leave."
"Then you're not getting it," he said, shrugging his shoulders. She thought he was going to help her leave him? Damn, his little grasshopper still had so much to learn.
"Fine," she bit out. "Give me my cell phone so I can call someone," she demanded, holding out her hand expectantly.
"Sorry, I can't do that either," he said, sighing heavily. Really, did she not know him at all?
"What about my car keys?" she asked, eyeing him cautiously.
He pursed his lips up in thought. It would be best for both of them if she was limited to the cottage and the center of town a mile down the road.
"No, sorry that's not going to work for me either."
"This is kidnapping!" she sputtered in disbelief.
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is!"
"Nope."
"What the hell would you call it?" she demanded, snatching his soda from him and finishing it off.
"A romantic getaway?"
She snorted.
"If you really don't want to be here, then go inside and use the house phone to call someone," he suggested innocently.
She looked close to breaking out her cute little fists of fury. "You know damn well that I don't have any of the phone numbers memorized," she snapped. Yes, he really did know that. Haley, thankfully, depended heavily on technology. Once a number went into her contact list she never looked at it again. That little tidbit of information used to earn an eye roll from him, but now it pleased him immensely.
"Then I guess you're stuck here," he said, biting back a smile.
Her eyes narrowed dangerously on him.
"So," he said brightly, "do you want to go for a swim, go fishing," he gestured to the long rock wall that went out about three hundred yards into the ocean, "or are you hungry? I can whip some burgers up in no time."
With one last look that promised bodily harm, Haley stormed off back to the cottage.
Jason walked back to the cottage not even bothering to check the sliding glass doors. Haley's little smug smile had told him everything he needed to know. She'd locked him out. He'd allow her this little victory, he decided as he scooped up his shirt off the lounge chair and pulled it on and headed for town. There was probably no need to tell her that he snatched the cottage keys already.
She'd have to come to him sooner or later.