Point of No Return

EPILOGUE

The pains began in the morning while I was drinking my coffee. Starting in my lower back and expanding around my abdomen, flaring in intensity, then fading. I knew what it was immediately and glanced at the clock. Another one came in ten minutes. I waited it out, breathing through my mouth and gripping the counter.

Once it passed, I took a shower. Kade was already in his office working and I knew he’d go apeshit the second I told him. He’d practically refused to leave the house the past couple of weeks, saying he just knew that the moment he left was when the baby would decide to come. The second I told him it was time, he’d have me hustled into the car and to the hospital. Well, I wanted to shower first and shave my legs.

I sat on the shower seat when another pain came, breathing through it, then finished rinsing my hair. I dressed in comfy clothes and blew my hair dry before pulling it back in a French braid. When I deemed myself ready and the contractions were about seven minutes apart, I went to find Kade.

He was typing away at the computer and the windows in the office were open, the warm spring air drifting in along with the scent of the daffodils and lilacs blooming outside. The first thing he’d done when we’d arrived back in Indy from our honeymoon was to buy me a beautiful two-story brick home surrounded by an expansive lawn dotted with trees. We weren’t in the country, like my little house in Rushville was, but there was enough space between us and neighbors that I didn’t feel boxed in.

“Good morning,” I said, sliding my arm across his shoulders.

Kade glanced up and smiled, turning his chair and tugging me down onto his lap. I wasn’t as dainty as I used to be, not with a nine-month pregnant tummy, but Kade seemed to love everything about it. His hand rested on top of my stomach. “‘Morning, princess,” he said, giving me a kiss. “How are you feeling today? Is the baby awake?”

I grinned. “Not only is the baby awake,” I teased, “but it’s time.”

It took a second for Kade to catch on, then his eyes went wide. “Now?”

I laughed. “Well, not right now, but hopefully by tonight it’ll all be over.”

That put Kade into high gear, as I’d known it would. In minutes he’d closed up the house, gotten my suitcase, called Mona, and was trying to hustle me to the car.

“Wait,” I said, “did you eat breakfast?”

He looked at me like I was insane. “You’re seriously not asking me if I’ve eaten, right?” he asked incredulously.

“Well, the hospital food is awful,” I said, thinking I was being perfectly reasonable and he was the one reacting all out of proportion. “You should eat something before we go.”

“Oh my God, Kathleen, just get in the car,” he moaned. “Please. Before I stuff you in it myself.”

“Will you relax?” I said in exasperation. “You act like we haven’t done this twice before.” Still, I got in the car before his face got any redder.

“If you think that makes it easier, it doesn’t,” he said firmly, sliding behind the wheel.

“Are the boys all right at Mona’s?” I asked.

“They’re fine,” Kade assured me, one corner of his mouth tipping up. “I told them their mommy and I were going to bring home their little sister and they were quite excited.”

“Nice that they were already there spending the night,” I said, then another pain hit and I gripped the door, breathing until it passed. I noticed Kade’s speed had increased while I’d been quiet.

“I’m fine,” I said, reaching for his hand. “Slow down. There’s plenty of time.”

Kade, for all his coolness under pressure, proved to be the typical husband when it came time for me to give birth. I thought that was because it was something out of his control, which he hated.

It took a little while to get me admitted and situated in a room, then all the equipment hooked up to me, the IV put in, yadda yadda. The pains were closer together now and I hoped that after having two babies, the third would arrive quickly.

It took a couple of hours, then the nurse proclaimed I was dilated enough for an epidural, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I knew lots of women did childbirth the natural way, but I was fine with the label of wimp. I wasn’t a fan of pain and if modern medicine had a way for me to avoid it, I was all about it.

Kade hated watching, though, his fear of needles making him extremely uncomfortable seeing one go into my spine. Of course he said he wasn’t afraid of needles, he just didn’t “like them,” though he’d never told me why.

I felt much better after the epidural and the next few hours passed relatively easily.

“Did you call Blane?” I asked Kade at one point.

“Yeah,” he said. “He was in a meeting, but I left him a voice mail.”

I nodded, a little disappointed, though I knew Blane was a very busy man. Blane was a US senator in his own right. After being appointed to fill the remainder of his great-uncle’s term, he’d run for election and won the seat. He’d inherited Keaston’s estate, which not only included the house in Georgetown but also his family home in Cambridge, where Vivian still lived, and a vacation home on Nantucket. Now Blane divided his time between DC and Nantucket with occasional visits to Indy. Congressional recess was coming, though, and he usually came back for a visit before taking our boys with him to Nantucket for two weeks every summer.

By late afternoon I was pushing and by dinner, Kade and I were holding the newest member of our family.

“You’re going to be insufferable now,” I teased Kade as he held our seven-pound, two-ounce little girl.

“I can’t help it if I was right,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “I told you. I know things.”

I just smiled. I was tired, though it had been an easy delivery. At least, easier than the first time I’d done this. That had taken hours and I’d thought Kade was going to kill someone when the epidural had worn off too soon and I’d felt every bit of the final stages of labor and delivery.

“She’s beautiful,” Kade said softly, rubbing a finger over one tiny cheek. “But not as beautiful as her momma.” His free hand reached for mine and he slotted our fingers together.

“Now there are two princesses,” I said, but he shook his head.

“You’ve just been promoted to queen.”

I laughed lightly. “My turn to hold her,” I said. Kade placed her carefully in my arms. Her hair wasn’t the usual newborn black but a shock of reddish gold that was just a shade lighter than mine. Her eyes were a beautiful, deep blue, though she was sleeping at the moment.

Flowers came, a huge display of two dozen pink roses that the nurse set on a table where I could see them.

“‘Congratulations on the latest set of tiny, pattering feet,’” Kade read. “‘Love, Blane.’”

“That’s nice,” I said with a smile. The smell of roses drifted through the room.

It was close to ten when I let them take my baby girl back to the nursery. The nurses always offered to let the baby stay, but I knew better. This would be one of the last decent night’s sleep I’d get for a few months.

“Go home and get some sleep,” I told Kade. “Bring the boys in the morning.”

Kade leaned down and kissed me, his hand cupping my cheek. It was a lingering kiss and when he pulled back, he gazed into my eyes.

“You’re amazing,” he said softly, “and I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” I replied. “I love you, too.”

“Are you happy?” he asked, his brows drawing together as he frowned slightly.

“Incredibly so.” I smiled. “You make me happy, Kade. You always have.”

Kade’s frown melted away and he kissed me again in a way that made me wish I hadn’t just given birth, but then again, he could always make me feel that way.

After he left, I didn’t fall asleep as quickly as I thought I would. It had been a recurring question from Kade over the years: Was I happy? It seemed Kade still had trouble sometimes believing all this—the house, the kids, our marriage. He’d told me once that he was so happy and content that it terrified him—it could so quickly be gone.

There wasn’t anything I could say to alleviate his fears, so when he got that way, I’d just hold him, tell him I loved him, then kiss him until he made love to me. He’d made all my dreams come true and I cherished each day because it was true—you never knew what the future held, but neither could you let the fear of it hold you captive.

Something woke me and I glanced around, figuring a nurse had come in, but it was a man’s silhouette that stood at the window.

I must’ve made a noise of alarm, because he turned and a shaft of light fell across his face. I breathed a relieved sigh.

“Blane,” I said, “you scared me to death.”

He walked to the bed and took my hand. “Sorry about that. And I’m sorry I couldn’t get here earlier.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “You’re here now. What time is it?”

“About three thirty,” he said.

“When did you get here?” I rubbed my eyes, glad the room was dark, because it wasn’t like I looked my best.

“About an hour ago.”

I pushed the button on my bed to move me to an upright position. “You didn’t have to come tonight,” I gently chided him. “You could’ve come in the morning.”

“Wanted to make sure you were all right,” he said, sitting down on the bed beside me. “And the baby.”

“Did Kade send you pictures?” I asked.

“He did.”

“Isn’t she beautiful,” I said with a smile. I leaned my head back on the pillow. The pain medicine was making me sleepy.

“She most certainly is,” Blane agreed, his lips turning up at the corners. His hold tightened on my hand. “I’m glad everyone’s healthy.”

“You’re an uncle again,” I said. “But I don’t think this one’s going to be as into fishing as the boys are.”

“Then I’ll have to find something else she’ll like just as much,” Blane said, reaching to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.

My eyelids drooped. “I don’t know what we’d do without you,” I murmured.

Blane didn’t answer. The bed creaked and I felt his lips press against my forehead.

“Do you need anything?” he asked quietly. “Can I get you something?”

I pried open my eyes and shook my head. “No, I’m fine.” I smothered a yawn behind my hand.

“You should get some sleep,” Blane said, smoothing a few stray hairs back from my forehead.

I was pretty tired. “Okay. Will you be back in the morning?”

“I’ll stay,” Blane said. “I know how much you hate the hospital.”

I smiled. “That’s sweet of you,” I mumbled, my eyes slipping shut again. It was just way too hard to keep them open.

Blane tucked the blanket closer around me and lowered the bed again. I forced my mouth to move.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I murmured.

“Me too,” he said, the words so low I barely heard them, then I was out.

“Mommy!”

I looked toward the door as my youngest boy came hurtling toward me, only to get swept off his feet by Blane hoisting him in the air.

“Easy, buddy,” Blane said. “Your mommy’s a little fragile and so’s your new sister.” Blane gently sat him next to me on the bed.

“How’s Mommy’s Teddy Bear?” I asked him, leaning down and puckering up for a wet kiss.

“Good,” he piped up. Theodore was his full name, after my dad, but we called him Teddy. His hair was golden blond, his angelic looks a contradiction to his mischievous ways. “Dad got us doughnuts.”

“He did?” I said, glancing up at Kade, who’d followed Teddy through the door. “Did he bring me any?”

“Here you go,” my oldest said, handing me a paper bag. My hands were full, so Blane took it and set it aside.

“Kane, you want to meet your new sister?” I asked as he moved closer, eyeing the pink bundle in my arms a little skeptically. Kane was the spitting image of his father, right down to the unruly lock of hair that always fell in his eyes. Though he was only six, he’d been born with an old soul, it seemed, always the one to observe and take measure of things before committing himself.

“Boys, meet the newest member of the family,” I said, pulling the blanket aside a little so they could see her face. “Lana.” They both peered down at her.

“That’s kind of a weird name,” Kane said.

“It was your grandmother’s name,” I said, glancing at Kade. “She died a long time ago, but I think she would’ve liked your sister.”

Lana opened her eyes, blinking at the two little faces staring down at her. Then she stuck her tiny fist in her mouth.

“She’s kinda red,” Teddy said.

I laughed. “You were, too, when you were this small.”

“Glad you could make it,” Kade said to Blane, holding out his hand. They shook, which I always thought was a strange way to greet each other rather than with a hug, but I knew the reasons behind Kade’s preference, so I stayed silent.

“Wouldn’t have missed it,” Blane replied.

“I’ll trade you,” Kade said to me, brandishing a Starbucks coffee.

“You read my mind,” I said, handing him Lana and taking the coffee. I curved an arm around Teddy, who cuddled at my side, thumb in his mouth. Kade had been trying to get him to stop, but he was only three, so I just shushed Kade.

“Uncle Blane, when are we going to the farm?” Kane asked, walking over to him. It was what they called Blane’s house on Nantucket.

“Soon,” Blane said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Summer’s almost here.”

“Oh my! Let me see her!”

We all turned as Mona entered the room with a flurry, followed by a grinning Gerard. Kade had no choice but to hand Lana over.

“It’s about time we had a little girl in the family!” Mona crooned. “Kathleen, I saw the cutest little pink shoes in the store the other day—I just had to get them. Then she needed a new outfit to wear them with, of course, so I added two new dresses to her wardrobe. Wait until you see them, you’ll just die, they’re so sweet.”

I grinned.

“Why do I think Lana’s going to be the most spoiled member of this family?” Kade mused, though his mouth was tipped up in a half smile.

Blane laughed. “I don’t think you’d be able to stop her,” he said to Kade.

“Oh, you boys hush,” Mona admonished. “Like you’re ones to talk. I spoiled you both rotten and I intend to do the same to this one.”

Everyone stayed for a while, passing Lana around, and I think Gerard was already making plans to build a barn to house a pony by the time they left. After a final round of kisses and hugs and promises to be good, Teddy and Kane went with them.

“I’d better bug out, too,” Blane said.

“Are you heading back to DC?” I asked.

He nodded. “I’ll fly out this evening, but I’ll be back in a few weeks, once the session ends.”

Bending over me, he kissed Lana’s forehead, then my cheek. “Bye, Kat.” He crossed to Kade and gave him a one-armed hug, slapping him on the back. “Congratulations. She’s amazing. You’re a lucky man.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kade said, and I was glad to see him give Blane a squeeze back before pulling away. “We’ll see you soon.”

Blane left and it was just me, Kade, and Lana.

“Chance and Lucy came by earlier,” I said. “They brought those.” I motioned with my head to another floral arrangement that stood next to Blane’s.

“Sorry I missed them,” Kade said evenly.

I rolled my eyes. Chance and Kade would never be best buddies, but they’d come to an unspoken truce over the years.

Alisha and Lewis came by shortly after that, then Clarice and Jack, and by the time the day was over, my room looked like a flower shop.

I was tired when we handed Lana over to the nurses and I thought Kade was going to leave, but he ended up sliding into bed beside me.

“This is much better,” I said with a sigh, cuddling against his chest as his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“Thought I’d stay tonight,” he said. “I don’t sleep well with you gone anyway and Mona offered to keep the boys.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “I missed you.”

“Brought you something,” he said.

I glanced up at him. “I told you not to do that.” Kade had given me expensive jewelry when each of the boys was born, which was really sweet, but I didn’t need more jewelry.

“You’ll like this,” he said. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out my locket that he’d given me so long ago. I hadn’t worn it to the hospital since they made you take off all your jewelry. He opened it and handed it to me.

“Oh, Kade,” I breathed, tears sparking in my eyes. My parents’ photo had been moved to the left side and the right side of the locket now held a photo of just Kade and me. “Thank you,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. “It’s perfect.”

He fastened it around my neck and held me as I drifted off to sleep.

Seven Months Later

“Don’t run!” I called out, but I might as well have saved my breath as Kane and Teddy ran through the hallway of Blane’s home, chasing a remote-controlled car of some sort that he’d bought them. I adjusted Lana on my hip and straightened the little red bow in her hair. “Your brothers are crazy,” I said to her. She grinned toothlessly at me as though she understood.

I headed back to the library, where Kade and Blane were busy picking up the discarded wrapping paper, bows, and ribbons that littered the floor.

“They tore through that pretty fast,” Blane said with a grin.

“Well, you shouldn’t have bought them so much,” I chastised him. “And the toy drum set is so staying here.”

“Yeah, that was just cruel, brother,” Kade added, grimacing. Blane just laughed.

The doorbell rang. “That must be Chance and Lucy,” I said, handing Lana to Kade. “I’ll get it.”

Christmas dinner had become less formal with little kids running around the house, though we still dressed up. Mona went all out with the candles and table linens, but the boys got heavy-duty plastic cups rather than crystal.

“Dinner’s about ready,” Gerard said as I passed by. He was uncorking a bottle of wine to decant it.

“Smells wonderful,” I enthused. Vivian was helping Mona with the finishing touches in the kitchen.

Sure enough, Chance and Lucy were at the door, along with Billy and their other son, Jared, who was slightly younger than Kane.

“Merry Christmas!” I greeted them, hugging them all. The boys squirmed, but I squeezed them anyway.

“Merry Christmas, Strawbs,” Chance said, kissing my cheek. “We brought a bottle of Blane’s favorite scotch.”

“That’s nice. He’ll like that,” I said, taking it from him. “Come in! Come in! It’s nearly time for dinner. I thought you were never going to get here.”

“The snow gave us some trouble,” Chance said, taking Lucy’s coat before removing his own. I hung them in the closet nearby. “Be careful going home. The roads are a little slick and they’re expecting more snow tonight.”

I shook my head, Lucy and I sharing a grin. “Always the cop,” I sighed.

“Hey, I’m just trying to look out for you,” Chance protested.

“Come on,” I said. “I’m sure Lucy needs a glass of wine.” I started down the hall, but just then the doorbell rang again.

I motioned for Chance and Lucy to keep going. “Go ahead to the den. I’ll get it.”

They continued down the hallway while I turned back and opened the door. I smiled, leaning forward to hug the woman standing in the doorway. She never let me hug her for very long, but I always tried anyway.

“Merry Christmas!” I said to Branna. “I’m so glad your flight wasn’t delayed any longer.” Branna lived in Annapolis, Maryland, and the weather had caused her arrival to be later than she’d planned.

“Branna, glad you could make it,” Kade said, suddenly appearing over my shoulder. “I’ll take your coat.”

Branna’s face softened when she saw Kade and she shrugged out of her black overcoat, revealing a red silk dress. I was suddenly glad I’d worn my black dress with gold threads shot through it rather than the red dress I’d contemplated. Kade gave her a hug, brushing a kiss to her cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” she said with a smile. “I brought this.” She handed me a box of gourmet chocolates.

“Thank you,” I said, passing them to Kade. “Blane’s in the den and I could use a cocktail.” I hooked my arm through Branna’s, leading her down the hallway to the library. We were exactly the same height, even with our heels on.

I opened the door and saw Blane standing next to the fire with Lana on his hip, adjusting the little velvet dress she wore while she sucked happily on her fist.

“Look who’s finally arrived,” I said.

Blane glanced up and smiled when he caught sight of Branna. “It’s about time,” he said, coming forward. He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Branna replied. She reached out to grasp Lana’s tights-encased toes. “Hello, little one,” she said. Lana grinned, bouncing in Blane’s arms.

A crash sounded from somewhere upstairs. “Oh no,” I said, glancing at Kade. “The boys.”

“I’m on it,” he said, heading for the door.

“Can you please actually get after them this time?” I called out to him.

Kade looked innocently at me. “Trust me,” he said. “I’ll put the fear of God in them.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, sure you will.”

Lana started fussing and I glanced at the clock. “I’d better feed her before dinner if I want to eat, too,” I said, reaching to take her from Blane. “Please excuse me.”

Dinner was much better than the first time we’d done this, a year after Kade and I had married. That first Christmas, Blane had pleaded too much work to be able to get away from DC, and since he’d only held the office for three months, I’d stifled the protests I’d wanted to make.

The next year, things had been awkward, and it had taken a while for Blane to warm up to Kane, who’d been a little over six months old at the time. He’d been a colicky baby and I’d spent Christmas night pacing in the library, holding him as he cried nonstop. Kade had been out of town on business and though he’d be flying in that night, he hadn’t yet arrived and I’d been exhausted. I was nearly in tears as I paced and tried to comfort Kane, feeling helpless and frustrated at the same time.

“Let me have him,” Blane had said, startling me. I hadn’t even heard him come in the room over Kane’s fussing.

I’d hesitated, but had been too desperate for a respite not to do as he asked. I handed over my squalling baby boy, who seemed very small against Blane’s bulk.

“Go take a break,” Blane had told me. “He’ll be fine.”

“Thank you,” I’d murmured before leaving the room. I’d breathed a sigh of relief, then immediately felt guilty for needing to get away from my child.

Guilt at Blane having to mess with a fussy baby had me returning inside of fifteen minutes, only to stare in stunned amazement at the scene in the library. Blane stood in front of the fire, Kane perched against his shoulder, sound asleep. Blane soothingly rubbed Kane’s back.

Seeing the two of them had brought tears to my eyes, and that moment had been a turning point for Blane’s relationship with Kane. They had a special bond. Though Kane looked just like Kade, his demeanor and personality were reminiscent of Blane, something that had become more apparent as the years passed.

Branna had joined us for the first time last year. It seemed whatever animosity Branna used to have toward me had evaporated into a careful politeness that grew more easy and comfortable. Likewise, I found my antipathy toward her had faded over time. From what I could gather, she and Blane had been casually together for a while now. Sometimes I wondered if they’d marry, but had never thought it my place to bring it up with either of them.

The boys behaved and didn’t spill or break anything this year, and Lana was happy chewing on a toy in her high chair. All four boys went to play once they were finished, leaving the adults to chat. I was seated to the right of Blane, who was at the head of the table, with Kade then on my right. Branna sat opposite me, with Lucy on her left.

We talked and laughed and Blane poured more wine, heaping praise on Mona and Vivian for the fabulous Christmas dinner. It was late when we finally roused ourselves from the table. I put Lana down in a crib Gerard had installed in my old room upstairs back when Kane was born, then joined Mona and Vivian in the kitchen to help clean up.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked Kade when we were finished, perching on the arm of the chair where he sat in the den, drinking some of the scotch Chance had brought. I removed the glass from his hand and took a sip, then handed it back.

“The kids’ll probably fall asleep in the car on the way home,” he said, sliding an arm around my waist. I rested my arm across his shoulders. “They’ve worn themselves out.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said with sigh.

“You can’t go yet,” Blane protested. “You haven’t sung for us.”

It had become a yearly tradition, Blane playing the piano while I sang a carol or two. It had felt a bit odd at first, but over the years everyone had urged us to do our usual performance and I couldn’t say no. This year was no different.

Blane’s fingers ran over the ivory keys while Kade refilled everyone’s wineglass. The rich notes of the piano filled the room.

“What’ll it be this year?” Blane asked me softly as the hubbub of conversation drifted around us.

I leaned on the piano, thinking. “I don’t know. How about . . . ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’?”

Blane’s hands moved seamlessly from the chords he played to warm up into the opening lines of the tune. The song was slow and I took my time with the lyrics.

I rested my hand on Blane’s shoulder as the lyrics spoke of faithful friends. He was so dear to me, to our family. I was grateful beyond words for his presence in our lives.

My eyes found Kade’s as I sang, their blue just as piercing as on the day I’d met him. His gaze held me captive and I couldn’t look away while I finished the carol. I sang another couple of tunes before we finished our performance, then Blane stood, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as everyone applauded and began talking.

“Always beautiful,” Blane said with a warm smile. He squeezed me in a hug, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“That’s just because you play so well,” I replied. Kade’s hands settled on my waist, tugging me slightly, and I turned to see him standing behind me.

“Nicely done,” Kade said. I stretched onto my toes to give him a kiss.

Chance and Lucy gathered their boys and headed home after more admonishments about the roads. Gerard left to drive Vivian to the hotel where she preferred to stay when she was in town.

Kade and I had driven the SUV tonight, so I didn’t think we’d have any trouble getting home, and besides, we lived just a few miles away. I saw Chance and Lucy out, then returned to the den, where Branna sat on the couch, a glass of wine in hand, while Blane stood by the fire. I went over to him and reached up to give him one last hug.

“Thanks for letting us invade your home,” I said. “Again.”

“Anytime,” he said. “You still having your annual New Year’s party?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “You’re coming, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Blane replied.

“I’ll go round up the boys,” I told Kade. “Would you mind starting the car?” He’d already taken the kids’ haul out earlier. God forbid we’d get up in the morning and there was some toy we’d left at Blane’s.

“Sure,” he said.

“I can get the little one for you,” Branna offered, setting her wine aside.

“Thanks,” I said. “That would be great.”

It didn’t take me too long to get the boys bundled up, and I sent them in to tell Mona thank you before she left for home as well. I was passing by the den when I heard Kade and Blane talking. I would’ve kept going, but I heard my name, so I stopped.

It had been a long time since I’d eavesdropped on one of their conversations, and I felt a niggle of guilt as I did so, but that didn’t make me step away from the door.

“. . . still in love with Kathleen?” Kade asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Blane said. “That ended a long time ago.”

“Yeah, it ended,” Kade said, “but I don’t think that did a damn thing to change how you feel. I’m your brother, and I know you.”

My eyes widened. What was Kade talking about? Surely, Blane had moved on—it had been years, after all. He’d dated other women after Kade and I had married, and he’d been with Branna.

“Christ, Kade, you think now is a good time to talk about this? On Christmas?”

“What, should I fly to DC and make an appointment with your secretary?” Kade’s sarcasm was thick. “Just answer the question.”

Blane stared at his brother, who gazed unflinchingly back at him.

Well, this was awkward. Blane should have known that he wouldn’t be able to fool Kade. Not that he’d tried. They hadn’t had a frank discussion about Kat in years, though why Kade would pick tonight of all nights to bring it up was a mystery.

“What do you want me to say, Kade?” Blane asked, lifting his arms in exasperation before they dropped back to his sides. “That I’m still in love with your wife?”

“Are you?”

Kade didn’t look angry. He looked . . . pained. As though he already knew the answer and was just waiting for Blane to say it out loud.

Blane didn’t want to hurt Kade, but neither did he want to lie. “A part of me is always going to be in love with her,” he said at last, his voice quiet. “She changed me, changed both of us, and you know I’d do anything for her.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not living my life or that I begrudge what you and she have,” Blane continued. “I’m glad you have a family, that you’re alive and happy. I’m not pining away for the past.”

And that was all quite true. Mostly. Did Blane lie awake in the dead of night and wonder what might have been? Sometimes. But no one needed to know that except him.

“I know Kathleen loves you,” Kade said, and Blane’s heart gave a lurch even though logically he knew Kade meant it in a way that didn’t warrant the brief hope that had flared in Blane. “She always has and she always will. I came to terms with that a long time ago.”

“So what’s your point?” Blane asked. There were about a thousand and one other things he’d rather suffer through a heart-to-heart with Kade about than this.

“Are you being fair to Branna?” Kade asked.

Ah. Branna. She’d been there when he’d lost Kathleen, and Blane had been there for her when she’d realized that she and Kade weren’t ever going to happen.

“Branna is very special to me,” Blane said.

“Are you going to marry her?”

Blane took a deep breath. “Besides the fact that it’s none of your business, no, we have no plans to get married.” How to explain their relationship? “Branna’s a friend, Kade. We’ve been . . . good for each other. And that’s all you need to know.”

Kade nodded. “Fine. I don’t wanna know the details.” He pushed a hand through his hair. “I guess my point, and I do have one, is that . . . we’re family. Me. You. Kathleen. And nothing’s going to change that.”

Their eyes met and Blane was suddenly glad that his brother hadn’t taken Kat away from Indy. He could have. Kade could have put as much distance as he wanted between Blane and Kathleen, but he hadn’t. He’d allowed Blane to be a part of all their lives—Kathleen’s, Kade’s, and their kids’.

A look of mutual understanding passed between them. The past was a long time ago, but it felt good to clear the air. If Kade, who avoided talking about his feelings even more than Blane did, brought it up, it must have been bothering him.

The door suddenly swung open and the boys came barreling into the room, looking for their dad. Beyond the door stood Kat. Blane’s gaze fell on her. She was staring at him, her expression stark, as though she’d overheard every word he and Kade had said . . .

Shit.

“Here you go!” Branna said, stepping up to Kat with Lana in her arms and jerking Kat’s attention from Blane.

Lana was rubbing her fists against her eyes and yawning, all bundled up in her coat and shoes. She looked like a doll-sized version of Kat, with her reddish blonde curls, blue eyes, and little red lips. When she saw her mom, she held her arms out. There was a familiar twist in Blane’s gut at this, but his face showed nothing.

“All right, you monsters,” Kade said, corralling the boys. “Outside with you. The chariot awaits. No pushing, no shoving, no running. No activity that will result in wet clothes or crying.”

Blane shook his head. His little brother—a father now, and a good one at that. Kade had turned his life around.

He followed Kade out into the hallway, watching as Kade took Lana from Kat and then headed outside after Kane and Teddy, who were already ignoring his edicts and hurling snowballs at each other with ungloved hands.

“It was good to see you again,” Kat said politely, giving Branna a hug. Branna allowed the gesture, murmuring, “You too.” Blane was glad they’d buried the hatchet a while back. He doubted they’d ever be close, but at least they didn’t fight anymore. Branna glanced at him as she passed by and Blane brushed her hand with his.

“I’ll be there in a moment,” he said with a small smile. She nodded before heading back into the library, leaving Blane alone with Kat.

Blane reached into the nearby closet for Kat’s coat, which he’d gotten as a gift for her last Christmas. He held it open for her to put on, and she obediently slipped her arms into the sleeves. Blane reached inside the collar, lifting her long hair from underneath. His fingers grazed the back of her neck.

Kat was looking up at him when she turned around, but Blane focused on doing up the fastenings on her coat. She was so little, even after having three children. Blane had deliberated for a long time as to which coat would keep her warm enough through an Indiana winter. The wool and cashmere blend he’d finally settled on was a good choice.

“I’m glad Branna’s here,” Kat said quietly.

Blane didn’t answer. He didn’t want to talk about or dwell on the past. It was enough to just be around Kat. His fingers moved slow and deliberately, easily slipping the loops one-by-one over the fastenings.

“I . . . don’t like to think of you by yourself.”

Blane finished doing up the last loop and lifted his gaze to hers. Yes, she’d overheard all right. She looked sad, and Blane couldn’t bear to see that in her eyes.

“I’m content, Kat,” he assured her, lifting a hand to cup her soft cheek. “You’ve given Kade so much—a life he never would have had without you. You saved my brother. If I didn’t already love you, I would for that. Things have a way of . . . working out.”

Kat’s expression eased and Blane folded her into a hug, savoring the fleeting moment when she was in his arms. They stayed like that until that twinge inside him said any longer would be unwise, then he let her go.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, squeezing her hand. He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Though I won’t pretend I don’t like it when you do.”

Her lips lifted in an answering smile. “I always worry about you,” she admitted.

“I’m fine,” Blane said easily, dismissing her concern though a part of him was pleased. “You’d better go. Your husband’s going to think you forgot about him.”

Kat nodded and took a step toward the door, then turned back to him. Rising on her toes she pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss, then another. Her palm cupped his jaw as she looked into his eyes.

“You’re a good man,” she whispered, her blue gaze intent on his.

Blane was too stunned to say or do anything, and a moment later she was pulling open the front door and hurrying to the waiting car. He stood in the doorway and watched as the SUV pulled away from the house, heading into the falling snow as they drove down the road.

Blane’s lips tingled from her touch, her words echoing in his mind.

A good man.

Blane knew his life would have turned out much differently had he not met Kathleen. No doubt he’d be married to Kandi by now, miserable, possibly following in his father’s footsteps and cheating on his wife, living for his ambitions and neck-deep in whatever illegal and unethical machinations his uncle would have trapped him in. It was because of Kat and the changes she’d wrought in him and in his life that Blane could still claim he had honor and integrity.

A good man, she’d said.

Blane smiled. Yes, he’d take that.

Closing the door against the snow and the cold, he headed back down the hall, to the warmth of the library, and the woman who awaited him there.

By the time we got home the boys were barely conscious for us to wrestle them into their pajamas and tuck them into bed. Lana was out like a light as I tugged her tights and dress off, pulling on her footed pajamas. I kissed the top of her head, then settled her into the crib on her tummy. She immediately drew her knees up underneath her, sticking her bottom in the air and wedging her fist in her mouth.

Finally, it was still and silent in the house and I went in search of my husband.

I found Kade sitting in the living room, gazing past the brightly lit Christmas tree to the large picture windows beyond. Big, fat snowflakes were falling, adding to the snow already on the ground.

“That’s beautiful,” I sighed, standing next to him. He pulled me down to sit on his lap and I rested my head on his shoulder. Together, we watched the snow fall. It was like a scene out of a fairy tale, and it got me thinking of how we’d gotten here from where we’d begun. Our fairy tale, mine and Kade’s, had been filled with betrayals and blood, villains and victims. But love had flourished, too, and trust, which in the end had overcome all the rest.

“I wouldn’t change anything,” I said after a while. “You know, if I had it to do over again.” I glanced up at him. “Would you?”

Kade’s hand moved to tangle in my hair, the strands slipping through his fingers.

“No,” he said at last. “Somehow, even with all the mistakes I made, I got the girl. So no, I wouldn’t change anything.”

His words brought Blane to mind again. He’d said he was content, but maybe he’d just sought to reassure me. Kade would know the truth.

“Do you think he’s happy?” I asked. I didn’t have to specify who I meant. We both knew.

Kade took a deep breath, his brow furrowing slightly as he thought. “I think,” he said slowly, “that Blane’s life . . . is exactly what he wants it to be.”

Suddenly, I realized just how understanding Kade had been over the years, sharing me and our family with Blane. He had never protested or so much as hinted that he had any problem with Blane being around me or the kids. It was a testament of Kade’s love for Blane, and for me.

“I love you,” I said, reaching up to brush a lock of his dark hair from his forehead.

His smirk remained as he raised an eyebrow. “I know.”

Then he kissed me, the taste of him and the feel of his lips against mine pushing away thoughts of everyone and everything else. His hands cupped my jaw as he cradled me in his arms, my fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt to press against the warm skin underneath.

Kade suddenly stood and my legs automatically locked around his waist. His hands cupped my rear, supporting my weight as he climbed the stairs to our bedroom, and he made love to me on Christmas night while our babies slept in their beds and the snow fell outside.

And it may have been a rocky road getting there, but I wouldn’t have traded my happily-ever-after for anything.

The End