Poor Jenny, Bright As A Penny

Chapter 8

A tall, pale man in a brown suit smiled down at Jenny. “I am Mr. Knutson, from welfare.” His hair was brown and he had cigarette stains on his fingers. The rock music leaped in through the door behind him.

Mama and Lud came out of the kitchen, Lud in undershirt and stocking feet, a dish towel in his hand. Three pairs of Lud’s shoes stood in a row in front of the couch. Two ties hung over a picture frame. Mr. Knutson surveyed Lud complacently. “You been keeping house, Mr. Merton? You the domestic here? Or are you Mrs. Middle’s old uncle?”

“Can’t an old friend visit for a day?” Mama said. “What do you think you’re doing barging in here and—”

“Mrs. Middle, I know Mr. Merton is living here. That is against welfare regulations.”

“But he’s our uncle, we—”

“Mrs. Middle, there is no uncle. I have a list here of the counties where you have been on welfare, and the reasons you may have left. It appears to me that in many cases you have run away when you were asked to assume more responsibility. Asked to get a job, for instance. Or take vocational training. Mrs. Middle, you have been lying to welfare departments for a long time.”

Mama looked uncertain. The music pushed in at them. Jenny wanted to put her arm around Mama, but Mama drew herself up straight and cold, “You people can’t ever think for yourselves, can you. You can’t ever put a little human feeling into your work. All you know how to do is follow the rules. No wonder people like me have to lie to you. Does moving to this city change my needs any? I still have three children to raise.”

“Yes, you do. And that is our concern. These children are our responsibility too as long as you are on welfare. We are concerned with the quality of care they are getting. This man appears to be living here although he is not your husband. You have been in court for using a stolen credit card, Mrs. Middle, and you have been in jail. You reported neither to us.”

The rock beat shook the building.

“You’ve no proof Mr. Merton is living here,” Mama shouted, “because he isn’t. He’s just a friend of ours, passing through.”

Lud smiled gently and raised his voice. “Just passing through and stopped to say hello to Lilly here and the kids. Known them for years.”

Mama began to cry. “I only wanted to move here because—because I thought it would be better for the kids. The schools are bigger and—” She couldn’t think of anything else. She cried harder.

The music stopped suddenly. Mama’s crying filled the room.

Mr. Knutson got up. “I would like to believe you both, but I must warn you, Mr. Merton can be prosecuted for living on your welfare money. You are in enough trouble as it is. Perhaps you will—” He stopped talking and stared at Crystal, Clayhill, and Sammy who had barged through the door almost knocking him down. They looked scared. Clayhill shut the door quietly, grabbed Sammy by the arm, shoved Crystal ahead of them and made for the bedroom. They smelled strongly of pot.

Mr. Knutson studied Mama for so long that Mama began to fidget. He didn’t say another word. He turned on his heel and left.

Mama stared at the closed door.

Lud moved to the window where he could see the street. “Patrol car down there. Looks like your little girl’s got herself into something, Lilly.”

Mama sighed and went into the bedroom. They could hear her questioning Crystal, but Crystal did not answer. “What’s the matter with you?” Mama shouted. “What’s the matter? Stop looking like that!”

When Mama came out she looked shaken. She stood at the window staring down at the street. Now there were four police cars.

Jenny sneaked into the hall and down the back stairs. When Bingo tried to follow her she turned on him so fiercely that she frightened him. “You go back to that apartment and stay there,” she hissed.

But when she was out of sight, Bingo followed her.

From the back stairs Jenny could see uniformed police standing guard outside Clayhill’s door. Three officers herded out a motley crew of Clayhill’s friends; the smell of pot stunk up the whole hall. If they search the building, Jenny thought, they’re going to find Crystal. Half of her wanted Crystal to get away, and the other half said, “Leave it alone.” She didn’t know what to do. She turned, confused, and there was Bingo standing at the curve in the landing. She scowled at him and hustled him back upstairs, but she didn’t scold him. She searched his face. “What should I do? Should I try to get her out? They might search the building, looking for Clayhill.”

“You’re asking me what to do? How should I know? What if you got caught trying to sneak her out? What would they think about you? Where would that leave us?”

That decided it. Crystal had made her own bed, now she could sleep in it. But Jenny was frightened for her.

The police went up and down the halls knocking on the doors and asking questions, but they did not search the apartments. Mama covered for Crystal and the boys. After the police left the building, Jenny said pleadingly, “Mama, make Sammy and Clayhill go home.”

“They aren’t hurting anything here.”

“Well, it’s my bedroom too. They’re draped all over it.” Clayhill was out cold, stretched across Jenny’s bed. Sammy was sitting on the floor, his knees drawn to his chin and his ankles crossed, staring at dozens of colored pills that lay scattered across the rug. He was trying to arrange them in stars of blue and yellow and red, but he could not seem to make the shapes of the stars right. When he put a color in the wrong place he would frown and tug at his untied shoelaces. Crystal was slumped on her bed, her face perfectly blank. She stared glassily at the door and pawed at her breasts idly.

Jenny watched them with sick horror.

She went into the kitchen, lit the gas stove, salted and peppered a roast, and slapped it in a pan. When the oven was flaming hot she stuck the roast in and shut the door. Then she went to look at Crystal again. Crystal’s face had gone completely white, and she was shaking.

“Mama, you’d better get her a doctor.”

“Get a towel and some ice, Jenny. Maybe we can snap her out of it.”

“But—”

“Do as I say!”

When the cold towel touched Crystal’s face she began to scream. They took the towel away, but they could not stop her screaming.

“You’ve got to get a doctor,” Jenny shouted.

“And have welfare on my back?” Mama yelled.

“But Mama—” Jenny was appalled. She headed for the front door.

“Stop it, Jenny.” Mama moved ahead of her and locked the door, then dropped the key in her pocket. “That stuff isn’t dangerous. She just needs time to sleep it off.” Crystal was still screaming.

“How do you know! You don’t even know what she took!”

Mama went back into the bedroom, and pretty soon Crystal stopped screaming. When Jenny looked in, Mama was holding Crystal like a baby and trying to rock her. Sammy was asleep with his head on his knees.

Jenny turned the oven down and began to peel potatoes. No one would feel like eating. Bingo sat in the far corner of the living room on a straight chair with his feet dangling and pretended to read. He looked like he was going to be sick. Lud said, “Pretty weird bunch I got mixed up with.” He went to stand in the bedroom doorway. “She’s asleep now, Lilly. Why don’t you run down to the corner and get me a six-pack.”

Mama stared at him coldly.

They had dinner at nine-thirty. The gravy was lumpy, and no one ate much. Halfway through dinner Sammy came staggering to the kitchen and stared at them, then ambled away. When he found the front door locked he began to pace the length of the apartment like a caged animal, from the balcony doors through the living room into Mama and Lud’s bedroom, then back to the balcony. Finally Mama opened the front door and he walked out. “Where will he go?” Jenny asked.

“Who cares? Make up the couch in the living room. You and Bingo can sleep there.” Mama found an extra blanket and covered Crystal with it.

Jenny lay in the darkness thinking she couldn’t possibly sleep. She did sleep, but she woke suddenly. Some noise had awakened her. She sat up in bed and listened. Had she heard a door close? She switched on the light and pulled her robe around her.

She stood in the doorway to the bedroom and stared at the empty beds. Crystal and Clayhill were gone.

She went to wake Mama, shaking her frantically. “Mama, Crystal’s gone!”

“Where she gone?” Mama mumbled.

“I don’t know. With Clayhill, I guess. But she’s stoned.”

“She’s probably at Clayhill’s. Go see if she’s at Clayhill’s, Jenny.”

“At three in the morning? You go.”

“Oh, don’t be stupid, Jenny.” Mama turned on the lamp and sat staring at Jenny angrily. Then she flung her wrapper around her, dug under the bed for her slippers, sighed, and stumbled out. Lud snored. Jenny turned, then stopped and stared. Beside the bed stood Mama’s three suitcases, open and packed. Her shoes, filled with nylon panties, were stuffed on top of the clothes.

Why hadn’t she told them to pack?

Maybe she had meant to tell them in the morning. What would one expect after the way Mr. Knutson raked her over! I never want to know, I never want to face it. Jenny thought, Oh, I don’t want to go this time. She felt shaky in her middle. Well, she can’t go without Crystal. I bet Mama’s fit to be tied, I bet that’s why she went to look for Crystal. I hope she doesn’t find her. Then we can’t go.

Crystal was not at Clayhill’s, nor was Clayhill. When Mama came back she roused Lud out and made him help search the building.

She’s worried because we can’t leave, Jenny thought cruelly. She’s not worried about Crystal. When Bingo woke, confused at the commotion, Jenny told him Crystal was gone. He put on his glasses and said very matter-of-factly, “Well, where did she go?”

“I don’t know!” she screamed at him. Then Mama got back and sat down in a hard chair and clasped and unclasped her hands, and Jenny thought of Mama holding Crystal on her lap and trying to rock her. She watched Mama silently, waiting to see what she would do next.

Finally Mama said, “Crystal can take care of herself,” then repeated uncertainly, “She can take care of herself.” Lud came in shaking his head stupidly, still half asleep, and Mama followed him into the bedroom and shut the door. They could hear her nervous voice but not the words.

“She’s all packed to leave,” Jenny said.

Bingo stared at her, then threw his covers back and reached for his pants.

“No, stay in bed. We don’t need to go anywhere in the middle of the night. If we’re not packed they’ll have to wait for us. Anyway, they can’t go until Crystal gets home.” She got under the covers, then sat up again and stared at him. “If she doesn’t come back in the morning, what will Mama do?” She could feel the tension in Mama, the tight quickness that meant only one thing: Mama had to get away.

Jenny did not sleep; she lay waiting for something. And pretty soon she heard it, she heard Mama set something heavy down by the front door. She opened her eyes and watched Mama moving around with her coat on, and then saw the suitcase. Mama came and sat on the bed. “Lud’ll run me to the Greyhound, there’s a bus in half an hour. You can pack up the rest of the stuff tomorrow and get the car loaded. I’ll have a nice apartment all picked out.”

“You’re going tonight? You’re going to leave Crystal?”

“She’ll be back in the morning. If she’s not she can stay at the landlady’s until Lud can come get her.”

“Oh, Mama!”

“Well I didn’t ask her to run off in the middle of the night, Jenny. I didn’t ask her to get me in trouble with Knutson, either, coming in here stoned.” Mama pulled nervously at her skirt. “Lud’ll just run me to the bus. It won’t take long, you’ll be all right with Lud. He’ll buy you a nice breakfast.”

Before the door slammed shut, Bingo was running for the bathroom, heaving.

Jenny lay staring at the front door.

After a while she went into the bathroom. Bingo was kneeling with his head over the toilet. She knelt beside him and touched his arm gently. He pushed at her and gasped, “Go away, go away!

She went into the living room, sat down, and clenched her hands in front of her. We’re not going without Crystal. We won’t! And then as if someone shouted the words inside her head, We’re not going anyway. We’re not going even if Crystal does come back in time. We’re not ever going to run any more. She sat there quite still. Then she picked up the blanket and began to fold it.

Bingo heaved once more, loudly, and Jenny thought, It must be awful to be sick every time something happens to us. When he came out he was pale. He sat down next to her.

“Do you feel better? I have something to tell you.”

He nodded.

“We aren’t going to stay with Lud until morning. We aren’t going to run away any more. We’re through running.” Her face was perfectly calm but tears were streaming down her cheeks. “We’re going back to J.D.H.”

“And leave Mama?”

“Mama left us.”

“She’ll be mad.”

“We have a right to be mad. Don’t you see that? Mama has jumped bail now. She’ll be running from the police. Even if we followed her, it wouldn’t be for long. When she’s picked up she’ll go to jail. There’s nowhere for us to go then, we’d be put in a home. And it might not be as nice as J.D.H. Do you want to keep running and running, moving every few days with the police looking for you?”

Bingo thought about it. The lamplight reflected on his glasses. Finally, “Go call the cops, then. Before Lud gets back.”

She was afraid in the dark halls. She hurried for fear Lud would come. It was dark by the phone too, and the door to the trash room stood ajar. She could barely see the print on the phone book, and somehow she missed the page with the police number on it. Then when she found it she dropped her dime and had to fish for it on the dark, greasy carpet. When finally she had the police operator she could not say what she wanted, she could not get the words out. Do something, she thought, do something. Finally she gave the address. That came out well enough, and after that she was able to make herself understood.

When she got back to the apartment Bingo was packing. She helped him stuff their clothes into a suitcase. Then they sat down to wait for the police. It was four o’clock in the morning, February twenty-third. Jenny’s sixteenth birthday.