Promising Hearts

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"Just stay here," Jessie said, pointing to a dim corner near the bar, "and I'll search out a few people I know. Shouldn't take long to find us a ride."

"Yes, all right." Kate didn't mind waiting so much as she hated the idea of Jessie being able to move about freely, and free from worry, when she could not. She could hardly be upset with Jessie, though, when the unfairness was none of her doing. If she had to linger in the shadows, then she was determined to make the most of her time. She'd only been in the saloon a few times before, and then only during the afternoon--when there were very few people about--and for those few regrettable moments the evening before. Now it was crowded with cowboys, gamblers, and businessmen as well as Mae's girls. The atmosphere was rowdy and raucous and, she admitted, exciting. There was a definite sense of life being lived with no hint of caution, and that thrill was intoxicating all on its own. She saw Sissy slip underneath the staircase with a man in a well-cut suit. A railroad man, perhaps.

Kate watched them absently to occupy her time, until she became aware that the fervent movements of both parties could only mean one thing. Then, when the man pushed his hand into the front of Sissy's dress and lifted her breast free, she stared only a second longer before averting her gaze. Such a thing was far too personal to be viewed by strangers, and she felt for Sissy that it should be happening under these circumstances at all.

"I see that I was grievously mistaken last evening," Phineas Drake said as he slid into a space beside Kate at the bar. "I erroneously mistook you for one of Mae's...friends." He caught her hand and lifted it as if to brush a kiss across her fingers. "My sincere apologies."

Carefully but firmly, Kate withdrew from his grasp. "You have nothing to apologize for, Mr. Drake. I am a friend of Mae's."

His expression darkened, and Kate caught a glimpse of his cold temper and flagrant disdain before his features smoothed into an unctuous smile. "I had hoped that you would do me the honor of your company, since you're in need of an escort. Seeing as you are a lady and there are some here who are, unfortunately, not gentlemen." He took her by the elbow in a light but commanding grip. "I have rooms just across the way. I'll have supper sent up. A fire will help dry your damp clothing."

"That's most kind, but I'm not here alone." When she tried to move away from him, he shifted subtly closer, his fingers tightening on her flesh. A shiver of alarm coursed down her spine and had her reaching into her bag for the comfort of her gun. She didn't seriously believe he would do anything to threaten her person in public, but the force of his repellent regard for her was nearly as frightening as a blow.

"Please, don't trouble yourself as to my welfare."

"I'm afraid you don't appreciate the gravity of your circumstances--"

"I assure you, sir--"

Jessie appeared beside them, her eyes as dark as the thunderclouds that raged overhead. "Kate? Is something wrong?" She took a moment to see that there was no fear in Kate's eyes, because if there had been, she would not have hesitated to make the man whose hand still held Kate's arm pay for his arrogance. As it was, she pushed the flap of her coat behind her back so it would not impair her reach for her gun.

"No, there's no problem," Kate said calmly, having seen Jessie's movement out of the corner of her eye. Under ordinary circumstances, Jessie was levelheaded, but tonight, after the emotional and physical stress of the last few days, Kate did not trust her lover to contain her temper. "Did you find us a wagon?"

Jessie's eyes were still on Drake. "Your attentions are not welcome here."

Drake's expression was calculating, and he made no move to let go of Kate. His muddy brown eyes slowly scanned Jessie's face, then flicked downward to her holstered revolver and back up again. He shifted his hips so his own gun was visible. "I'm afraid we've never been properly introduced. At the moment, the lady and I are having a private--"

"No, we're done," Kate said firmly, wrenching her arm from his grasp. "I appreciate your concern, Mr. Drake, but I'm quite all right."

She turned her back as much as the crowded space would allow and gripped Jessie's left hand to get her notice. She had to tug before Jessie looked away from Drake and met her eyes. "Let's go now."

"All right," Jessie said gently. She could hardly instigate a brawl with Kate so close, and as much as she wanted to strike out at Drake, or anyone who threatened what was hers, she knew she couldn't. Not tonight. "I've got a buckboard out back."

"Good." Kate didn't bother to say good night to Phineas Drake, but as she and Jessie made their way through the crowd toward the rear exit, she imagined she could feel his anger follow them. She didn't relax her hold on her bag until they were outside. Even the rain was a welcome comfort after the stifling heat and oppressive atmosphere inside.

Wordlessly, Jessie grasped her around the waist and helped her clamber up onto the board seat. Kate then took Jessie's hand to steady her as she scrambled up beside Kate. When Kate put her hand on Jessie's thigh, as she always did when they rode together, she felt the muscles tighten like ropes beneath her fingers. "It's all right, darling.

Nothing happened."

"The bastard put his hands on you. I wanted to kill him."

"I'm very glad you didn't, because he is hardly worth having the sheriff come after you and put you in jail." It was pitch black behind the saloon, and Kate leaned close and kissed Jessie's cheek. "We're getting soaked again."

Jessie shifted on the seat to face Kate, the reins held loosely in her gloved right hand. "What exactly do you have in your bag, Kate?"

"You're very observant, Jessie Forbes," Kate said with a rueful laugh.

"Well, I know it's not gold, but it's got to be something pretty close, the way you've been holding on to that since we left Doc Melbourne's.

And I saw you reach into it from clear across the room back there in the Nugget."

For a second, Kate considered trying to postpone the discussion, but she had no reason not to explain, and it was unfair to worry Jessie any further. She opened her bag and held it up so Jessie could see. "Mae gave it to me this afternoon."

Jessie reached in and extracted the Derringer. "Did she show you how to shoot it, too?"

"Not yet, but under the circumstances, I thought I was too close to miss."

"Lord, Kate," Jessie groaned. "You weren't really planning on shooting him, were you?"

"Weren't you?"

"Well, yes, but..." Jessie trailed off with a slow nod of her head.

She carefully replaced the gun and handed back the bag. "First thing tomorrow, we'll have a lesson."

v Mae unlocked her door and held it for Vance. "You go on ahead.

I'll just be a minute while I find someone to take care of the bath water." She handed Vance the soaked suit coat. "Hang this up to dry somewhere, too."

Inside the room, Vance shook out the dripping coat and draped it over the back of a chair. Then she knelt by the small hearth and stacked several logs. She found matches in the inside pocket of her vest that were miraculously still dry and started the fire. She turned at the sound of the door opening. A young man in pants several inches too short and a voluminous shirt that must have belonged to an older brother bustled in carrying two steaming pails of water. He did not look in her direction, and she suspected that he thought her one of Mae's customers. The thought made her smile bitterly as she considered that in many ways she was like some of the lonely, dispossessed people who found comfort in the arms of a tender woman. She turned her back to the room, ignoring the continued activity behind her, and watched the struggling flames flicker and finally catch. She would not come to Mae offering nothing but a broken spirit. It was enough that she allowed Mae to comfort her with her words and gentle touches. Those she imagined Mae gave willingly and often, because that's the kind of woman she was. As hard as Mae's life had been, her heart remained generous and kind.

"What are you thinking about so hard, Vance?" Mae had been watching Vance, who'd stood with her arm braced against the mantle, head down, staring into the fire, for more than a minute. The story that was written across Vance's stark features was easy to read, even if Mae couldn't discern each of the details. Loneliness was common enough out here--hell, anywhere--but the terrible sadness that radiated from Vance's still form made Mae's heart ache.

"You, actually," Vance said quietly. She faced Mae and rested her shoulder against the side of the fireplace.

"I was hoping that thinking of me might make you look a little happier," Mae said as she approached.

Vance braced herself for a touch, because the slightest contact from Mae tended to unbalance her. "I was thinking how extraordinary you are."

Blushing, Mae halted abruptly an arm's length from Vance. "I'm used to people...men...saying I'm beautiful, but I--"

"You are beautiful."

Mae waved a hand impatiently. "Stop that talk so I can finish my thought."

Vance grinned and settled with her back fully against the wall, her legs crossed at the ankles, her hand in her pocket. "Go ahead."

Now it wasn't Vance's words that drove every thought from her mind, but the sight of her all long and lean and her dark hair still dripping wet. Despite that, her face revealed just a touch of arrogance that Mae found quite appealing. "The water's going to get cold."

Vance said nothing, but it was suddenly very hard to breathe as Mae reached for the laces on her bodice. "Mae--"

"Don't talk," Mae whispered as she loosed the ties. The dress slid from her shoulders to reveal the thin lace chemise that barely covered her nipples. "Just watch."

"I can't, not without dying." The dress fell to the floor. She wore silk and little else below. Vance turned her head away. "The most I've ever done is kiss a woman. And then, I was young and I was...it was before."

The pain in Vance's voice was so raw Mae shuddered. She would never willingly do anything to put that sound there, so she slipped behind the dressing screen and quickly removed the rest of her clothes.

She pulled on her China blue robe, and when she emerged, found Vance struggling to put on the still wet coat. "Put that down," Mae said as she walked over to Vance. "Now hold still."

"No," Vance said sharply as Mae reached for the buttons on her vest. She grasped Mae's wrist to stop her. "Please. No."

Mae looked up into Vance's eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to put you into the tub, which is what I should've thought of doing to begin with. You're the one who went through hell in that room back there, not me. You're the one who stood out in the rain. You're the one who's shaking with cold."

"It's not all the cold," Vance whispered.

Tenderly, Mae touched Vance's face. "I know. I didn't realize you'd be scared. I'm sorry."

Vance closed her eyes, but kept hold of Mae's hand, preventing Mae from undressing her any further. "Maybe we can just...sit together by the fire."

"And waste all that hot water? At least one of us is getting a bath before we do anything else." Carefully, Mae shook off Vance's hand and finished unbuttoning her vest. Then she started on her shirt. "I think you should be first." When she finished opening all the shirt buttons she waited to remove the garment. "Open your eyes. I want you to see that there's nothing about you that bothers me."

"Why are you doing this?" Vance whispered.

"Because I like looking at you." Shorter by two inches--and without her shoes, even more--Mae raised up on her tiptoes and glanced another kiss over Vance's mouth. "Because I like touching you." She took Vance's face in both hands and kissed her with intent. Slowly, she moved her lips on Vance's, accustoming herself to the taste and texture of her. She played her tongue lightly just inside Vance's mouth, enjoying the slick smooth heat and the barest whisper of Vance's tongue meeting hers. When she drew away, she knew she'd only skimmed the surface of passions buried so deep it might take a lifetime to search them out.

"Because you make things come alive inside of me that I thought had died and disappeared forever."

"What things?" Vance rasped. "Pity? I don't want you taking care of--"

Mae pressed her fingers to Vance's lips. "You'd best stop before you say something that's really going to get me riled. Maybe back East people pity someone like you, someone who paid the price for doing what she felt was right. Out here, we respect it." She moved her hand beneath Vance's chin, her fingers stroking her neck. "Now I'm going to take your shirt off and see what's been done to you. And if it makes me cry, it's not because I pity you. It's because I can't undo the hurt that you've suffered."

"You already have." Vance jerked her head away, grabbed Mae around the waist, and dragged Mae against her body. And then she took her mouth with all the fury of those long months of pain and loneliness.

Yearning and need and desire tangled in the crush of lips and teeth and tongue. She could feel Mae's naked body beneath the silk, could feel the heat--the life--in her, and she desperately grasped for it like a drowning man clutched at rocks in a rushing river. "Oh, Mae," she moaned. "Mae."

Mae had to fight to gather enough breath to speak, but she knew, knew in her heart despite her terrible desire for Vance, that this was not the time. It was the time for her, but not for Vance. If she took Vance to her bed, it would be like letting a man who'd been lost in the desert for weeks drink himself to death at the first taste of water. They would have a few minutes, a few hours even, of unbearable pleasure in one another's arms, and in the morning, Vance would walk away and never come back. It had never mattered so much that that not happen. Trembling, heart on fire, Mae braced her hands against Vance's shoulders and pushed her gently away. "I want you in my bed. Do you hear me?"

Vance--chest heaving, eyes glazed--nodded mutely.

"I want you, but not when we're both so hungry we'll tear each other to pieces." She grasped handfuls of Vance's shirt when Vance tried to back away. "Listen to me. You're not alone. I feel what you feel.

I need what you need." She took Vance's hand and eased it inside her robe, then pressed Vance's palm over her breast where her heart lurched wildly. "Feel what you've done."

Vance dropped her head with a groan as she cupped Mae's breast.

She'd never touched another human being with passion, and now she could think of nothing else. "I need you. Please. I can't stop."

Laughing softly, Mae clasped Vance's wrist and moved her hand from her breast. "Now I know you're just playing on my sympathy."

Shakily, Vance laughed and her mind cleared a fraction. "I was hoping you'd find it in your heart to be charitable, considering how I've been...wounded and all."

"Oh, I might find a soft spot or two for you in my heart." Mae backed toward the other room where the tub awaited, pulling Vance along by her hand. "Now I want you in the tub with me."

Mae's robe had fallen open and her breasts were bare. They were full and firm and rose-kissed. Her body was hot and passionate. She was beautiful. But what gave Vance the courage to answer was the tender welcome in Mae's eyes.

"Yes," Vance said quietly. "I want that, too."

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"Oh my goodness!" Martha Beecher stood in the middle of the kitchen with her hand pressed to her heart, her gaze darting from Kate to Jessie. "Whatever has happened! Kate--look at you, you're soaked. You're sure to get ill again behaving this way." She cast a quick but disapproving glance in Jessie's direction.

"We're quite all right, Mother," Kate said with the slightest hint of ire. After all she'd experienced that evening, such fuss over a little bit of rain felt ridiculous. "We just need to get into some dry clothes and everything will be fine."

"Go on into the parlor and stand by the fire," Martha instructed.

"I'll make some tea."

As Kate and Jessie started from the room, Martha gasped and caught Jessie's arm. Anxiously, she asked, "Is that blood on your shirt? Are you hurt?"

"It's just a scratch. I'm fine, thank you," Jessie said quietly.

"What's happened?" This time, Martha spoke calmly, as if the true gravity of the situation had settled her nerves.

Jessie glanced quickly at Kate, who nodded. "Horse thieves shot at me and some of my men up in the hills yesterday. My friend Jed is at the doc's right now."

"Is it serious?"

"Yes, ma'am." Jessie's voice trembled and she reached for Kate's hand.

Kate moved quickly to Jessie's side and slipped an arm around her waist, hugging her close. "Tea would be good, Mother, if you could make some. We're both chilled."

Martha regarded the way Jessie leaned against Kate for support, heard the quiet steady strength in her daughter's voice, and saw, truly saw for the first time, the woman Kate had become. It was impossible to deny the powerful feelings between the two younger women, no matter how dearly she might have wished it otherwise. She remembered those terrible hours when she had thought she would lose Kate to illness.

She recalled Jessie never moving from Kate's bedside and promising any sacrifice if Kate would only live. And after, when Kate was barely days from death's door, Kate's determination that nothing would keep her from being with Jessie, even if they had to leave the territory to be together. It was foolish to think that anything as petty as the small- mindedness of others would ever keep these two apart.

"Take Jessie upstairs to your room and get out of those wet things.

I'll find some clothes of your father's that will fit Jessie well enough for now. You both need to get dry before you catch your death."

"Thank you," Kate whispered, hugging her mother tightly.

v The large tin tub stood behind the dressing screen in one corner of Mae's bedroom. Vance took comfort in the fact that the area was only dimly lit by a single oil lamp burning on the dresser on the far side of the bed, which took up the center of the room. She hoped that the scars on her chest and shoulder would blend with the shadows of the room and be less shocking, if no less unsightly. Even her father, a physician and a man used to seeing the worst of the human condition, had exclaimed at the state of the wounds the first time he'd seen her.

To give him his due, however, she had only just arrived home from the hospital in Richmond and not everything had healed by that time.

"Whatever you're worrying about," Mae murmured, "it's probably a waste of good energy."

"Mae, you don't know--"

"You don't know where I've been, what I've seen," Mae whispered, slipping both hands beneath the edges of Vance's open shirt and pressing her palms to Vance's chest. "Stand still now and be quiet.

Let me see you." When she felt Vance shiver violently, she added, "Put your hand inside my robe, on my waist. Hold me."

With a shuddering breath, Vance parted Mae's robe completely and curved her arm around Mae's waist.

"Ready?" Mae leaned into Vance's body and kissed her throat.

"Yes."

Mae skimmed her hands from Vance's chest to her shoulders and over her upper arms, pushing off her shirt. It fell to the floor next to the tub behind them. Vance's pale skin shimmered like silver in the lamplight. Her breasts were small and taut, her chest lean and tightly muscled like the rest of her body. A patch of scar tissue, the skin pebbled and rough, stretched from the outer edge of her left breast around her side. Carefully, Mae stroked the uneven surface.

"Is it painful?"

"No," Vance rasped, keeping her eyes on Mae's face. "Not when you do that. Sometimes...sometimes when I'm tired, or I've ridden for a long time, it gets sore."

"Does it help to touch it?"

Vance laughed unsteadily. "I don't know. It feels rather nice just at this moment."

Mae kissed the tip of Vance's chin. "You might not be thinking altogether clearly right now. We'll have to find out later."

"All right." Vance was having a hard time sorting out all the conflicting feelings that were warring inside her. Mae was so close that the heat of her body penetrated Vance's trousers, warming her thighs and pelvis. Mae's perfume, a bold scent sweetened by Mae's own distinctive flavor, assaulted her senses, making her dizzy with desire. Her belly was tight with longing, and she wanted to touch Mae everywhere. The brief wonder of Mae's breast in her hand was almost all she could think about. If she'd been whole, if she'd had two arms, she would never have stood so quietly, waiting. She would have touched Mae the way she hungered to, would have given free rein to the fire that was rapidly consuming her sanity. She remembered what Mae had said just moments before. I feel what you feel. I need what you need. She had to believe that, or her feelings of impotence would drive her mad.

"You're still shaking. Are you still scared?" Mae asked tenderly.

"No. I...oh!" Vance stumbled back a step as Mae moved her hand from Vance's chest to what remained of her left arm.

"Tell me if I hurt you." Mae spoke slowly, taking care to keep her voice level and firm. She'd seen far worse than the stump that ended just above where Vance's elbow should have been. She'd seen men trampled by horses, women torn apart by deliveries gone wrong, children dead from the pox. Vance's arm ended in a rounded lump of scar tissue that was far less horrible than she would have expected.

Still, this was the woman she cared for, and no matter how well healed the wound appeared now, she knew that the damage extended far deeper than flesh, and she ached for that pain. She did the only thing she could think to do. She curled her fingers gently around Vance's arm and tenderly kissed the scar.

Vance gasped again. It was so unexpected, so unlike anything anyone had ever done, that she couldn't take it in. Her knees gave way and the next thing she knew, her cheek was pressed to Mae's bare stomach as sobs racked her body. Dimly, she was aware of Mae stroking her hair, her neck, her shoulders. Mae was saying something, crooning words that had no meaning but that caressed and soothed the raw weeping places in her soul. "Sorry," she choked out, "sorry."

Tears streaked Mae's cheeks unheeded. She had not imagined it possible that something as simple as a kiss could do this to one so strong, so brave. Brokenly, she whispered, "It's all right, sweetheart,"

although she doubted the truth of her own words. Sometimes there was nothing to do but to live with the pain.

"I wish..." Vance rubbed her cheek against Mae's skin. Desire warred brutally with need, and it was the need she feared more than loneliness. The desperate longing to be comforted, to be healed, that she'd kept chained for so long was dangerously close to escaping now. Unleashed, it would swallow her alive and destroy any hope of friendship with Mae. "I wish I had come to you whole."

Mae bit back her sharp protest, because she understood pride and independence. She understood too that Vance would allow nothing to grow between them until she was certain that the feelings rose from love, and not pity. "Looking at you pleases me to no end." She caressed Vance's tear-streaked face. "And you're about as brave a person as I've ever met."

Sighing, Vance closed her eyes. "I don't see what you see."

"I know." For an instant, Mae pressed Vance's face hard against her body, then gently pushed her away a few inches. "Vance, you're getting chilled. Let's both get in the tub so I can hold you."

After a moment, Vance got unsteadily to her feet and fumbled with the buttons on her trousers. "If we wait much longer, it will be cold."

Mae smiled. "I don't think we're going to notice."

"You're the only person other than the doctors and nurses and my father, who's a doctor, too, who has touched me there."

"I didn't mean to open old hurts." She brushed Vance's hand aside and finished unbuttoning her trousers for her.

Vance trailed her fingers through Mae's curls as she worked, then dipped her head and kissed Mae softly. "You didn't. Sometimes healing hurts."

Nodding silently, afraid that she might burst into tears now, Mae pushed Vance's clothing down and shed her own robe. She stepped into the tub, settled down with her back against one end, and held out her hand. "Come sit against me."

Carefully, Vance climbed in and eased down between Mae's legs so her back nestled against Mae's front. The water was still warm, and, despite her exhaustion, at the first contact with Mae's body, she came instantly awake. Mae's breasts pressed against her back, and when Mae angled her legs over Vance's beneath the water, the intimate contact caused her skin to flush with heat. Vance groaned and let her head fall back against Mae's shoulder. "I never want to move."

Mae nuzzled Vance's neck and wrapped both arms around her waist. "Then we won't."

Lazily, Vance turned her head and kissed Mae's neck. "The steam smells like you."

"It's the scent I use. I put some in the water."

"It does things to my insides."

"Nice things, I hope," Mae said a bit breathlessly. Everywhere their bodies touched, which was everywhere possible, her skin tingled.

Her breasts were full and aching to be caressed. She was hot and pulsing below, desperately needing to be filled. Still, she only smoothed her hand up and down Vance's belly while pressing her cheek to Vance's throat. What there was between them was not to be hurried, but to be savored. This moment was about trust as much as passion.

"Wonderful things." Vance caught Mae's hand and drew it to her breast, stiffening when Mae's fingers glanced over her nipple. She groaned softly. "I've never been like this with anyone before. Man or woman."

"I wish I could say the same thing to you." Mae closed her eyes and kissed Vance's temple. "I'm sorry that I--"

"Don't." Vance kissed Mae's hand before shifting until she could look into Mae's face. "Nothing you have ever done or ever might do will matter more to me than what lies between us." She kissed Mae's lips, gently at first, then more demandingly. She kissed her first with reverence, then with desire. She kissed her, taking her time, exploring her mouth as she wished to explore all of her, body and soul. The hunger to possess her, to be possessed by her had not abated, but she discovered with each passing second that there was something beyond need. There was knowing. Above all, she wanted to know Mae, in her heart as well as her body. When she drew back from the kiss and settled once more into Mae's arms, her head resting on Mae's shoulder, she murmured, "I just wanted you to know why I might not be so...adept...at some things. If we do..."

"When." Mae laughed breathlessly and caressed Vance's chest, skimming her breasts just enough to appease her longing for her. "Lord, if you were any better, my heart might climb right out of my chest."

Vance smiled, a lazy, pleased smile. "My brother always had a way with the ladies. I never thought to experience such things for myself."

"But you knew you had...feelings...in that direction?"

"Yes. I didn't recognize exactly what they were at first, because as I'm sure you're aware, such matters are rarely discussed. But there was one girl in my medical school class. We were close, good friends."

Vance sighed. "Our fondness led to the beginnings of something more intimate, but then the war came and...everything changed."

"Your brother? Where is he?"

Vance found Mae's hand and clasped her fingers. She closed her eyes and said, "Victor and I were twins. We did everything together from the time we were children. We went to different medical schools, but we often saw patients together. When the war came and Lincoln called for physicians, we enlisted together, too." She smiled. "It was Victor's idea for me to cut my hair and borrow his clothes so we could sign up for the same regiment. He knew I would find a way to go, and we always had more fun together than apart." She shivered although the water still held some heat. "We served in the same regiment for the first year and a half. There were very few formally trained surgeons, and before long we were both promoted to brigade surgeon. The Union forces fought on several fronts, and we ended up being separated. The mail, what there was of it, often took months to catch up to us when we were in the field. I hadn't heard anything from him for the last six months of the war."

Mae waited, saying nothing when Vance fell silent, but she recognized the hollow note in Vance's voice for what it was. Terrible loss. She tightened her arms in a futile attempt to shield Vance from a pain that had already struck her heart.

"I didn't know until I finally returned to Philadelphia upon my release from the hospital that Victor had been killed in the fall of Richmond just a few weeks before I was shot." Vance turned her face to Mae's neck. "I'll always wonder if I'd been with him if I could have saved him."

Not whether he could have saved you. Mae kissed Vance's forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Victor's death nearly destroyed my father. My...injury was more than he could cope with. Our relationship was never the same again, and when I wanted to leave Philadelphia, he contacted Caleb Melbourne on my behalf. I think he was glad when I left."

"Surely he didn't blame you for what happened."

"Not exactly. He didn't know either of us had enlisted, although he wouldn't have been able to stop us. We wrote to him once we arrived at our first post, and he tried to get me to come home." She sighed. "When I finally did come home, I was a reminder of everything he'd lost."

"I'm sorry about Victor, but I'm so very glad that you survived."

"Thank you," Vance whispered. She had once hoped to hear similar words from her father, but hearing them now, from the woman she was coming to treasure, meant even more.

"You're trembling." Gently Mae moved Vance forward, stood, and stepped from the tub. "Let me get a blanket."

By the time Vance climbed out, Mae had a blanket ready to wrap around her shoulders. "You'll get cold, too," Vance protested. She took one edge of the blanket and drew it around Mae so they were both covered. "I don't know how it is that I end up telling you things I never speak of with anyone else."

"Because," Mae said with a small smile, embracing Vance within the confines of their makeshift shelter, "I want to know."

Vance rested her cheek against Mae's hair. "I'm so glad."

"Come to bed," Mae said. When Vance tensed, she shook her head and kissed the hollow at the base of Vance's throat. "I want you to hold me. That's all."

Vance wanted more at the same time as she feared it, and because of that uncertainty, she was grateful that Mae did not demand greater intimacy. "Are you sure? What about the others?"

"Lord, Vance," Mae said with a laugh. "You don't think it matters to anyone who shares a bed here, do you? No one will take note, and even if they did, what of it? Unless you don't want anyone to--"

"No," Vance said fiercely, silencing Mae with a kiss. "I just don't want to cause trouble for you."

Mae felt the sudden threat of tears again, unable to recall when the last time had been that anyone had worried about her. "The only trouble for me would be if you left me now, seeing's how I have a terrible need to be with you."

Vance rested her forehead against Mae's. "And for tonight, just holding will be enough?"

"It will be just right."

When she settled in bed on her side and Mae came into the curve of her body, Vance discovered that Mae was correct. Nothing she'd ever known had felt so right. Mae's heart beat against her breast, Mae's thigh fit perfectly between her thighs, Mae's breath caressed her throat like a soothing balm. She wrapped her arm around Mae's shoulders and cupped the back of Mae's neck, caressing her gently. "I don't know that I'll sleep tonight," Vance said. "You feel too wonderful to miss a second of being with you."

"You don't have to worry," Mae murmured, melting into Vance as if they had been in one another's arms a thousand times before. "This won't be the last time."

With that assurance playing through her mind, Vance closed her eyes and slept. For the first time in a thousand nights, she did not dream of death.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Jessie paced to the window and flicked the curtain aside, even though there was nothing to see outside in the dark. From the sounds of men shouting in the street below, she wasn't the only one wide awake. "Lord, Kate, I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.

It would've been better if you'd stayed with your parents."

"No, it wouldn't," Kate said calmly as she leaned over and turned down the oil lamp before unbuttoning her dress and slipping it off over her head, leaving only her chemise and stockings. She sat on the edge of the bed to remove her undergarments. "I would lie awake worrying about you, and you would undoubtedly stay awake doing just what you're doing now, and neither one of us would have changed what's going to happen."

"Kate, I--" The protest died on Jessie's lips when she caught a glimpse of Kate slipping naked beneath the rough cotton sheets. Unsettled in an entirely new way than just seconds before, she leaned against the window casing, her arms crossed. "You could be safely tucked away at home right now instead of climbing into an uncomfortable bed in a noisy hotel."

"Jessie," Kate said quietly. "It's somewhere in the middle of the night. It's been a hard, frightening few days for you and I've missed you terribly. How you could think that I would let you sleep alone now escapes reason." She patted the bed beside her. "I know it's because you're worn out and scared for Jed that you could even question why I'm here. For now, just accept that I need you."

"You need me." Jessie said the words as if they had been spoken in a strange language. "Sometimes it scares me how much I need you." As she had the first afternoon that Kate had spent with her, Jessie crossed to the bed, unbuttoning her shirt as she walked. As she had that day as well, she unbuckled her gun belt and hung it on the bedpost.

"I love you," Kate said, watching Jessie unbutton her pants and step free, marveling just as she had a little over a year before at how beautiful and strong she appeared. She moved over to make room as Jessie removed her long johns and settled beside her. "And I need you terribly. It's all rolled up in what we share."

Jessie gathered Kate into her arms and buried her face in Kate's hair. She lay silently for several minutes as Kate stroked her back and her shoulders and her chest. She breathed in Kate's scent, listened to her heartbeat, concentrated on each small point where their bodies touched.

As the essence of Kate filled her up inside, she sensed the bruised and bleeding places starting to heal. She wasn't aware of her tears until Kate's fingers brushed over her cheek.

"Tell me," Kate whispered.

"When they started shooting I couldn't really believe it. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't take it in. They were trying to kill me, on my own land."

Kate's heart was seized with a sudden chill. She knew firsthand the dangers that nature and accidents wrought upon the unsuspecting or unlucky. She had learned to accept that part of the life she had chosen.

Now she added human treachery to the forces that threatened Jessie and their life together. Anger mixed with her fear and worry. "Will you be able to catch them?"

"I don't know. If they were only stealing a few to sell to the army or a passing wagon train, they could be a hundred miles away by now.

If they're aiming to cut out a big part of the herd and drive them south to market, we'll run into them again."

"And if you do?"

Jessie answered instantly. "Then we'll hold them accountable for what they did to Jed."

"You mustn't go out there without more men."

"Don't worry, there won't be any shortage of hands willing to go."

"There's nothing I can say that will prevent you from going, is there?"

"Don't ask it of me, Kate. You know I will do anything I can to make you happy, but..."

Kate pressed her fingers to Jessie's mouth. "Shh. I'm not asking. I wouldn't. As much as I would like you to stay home where it's safe and let Jed and the men take care of these problems, I know that you can't.

And I know that you might try if I asked you." She leaned close and kissed Jessie's forehead, then her eyes. "Which is why I won't."

"Thank you," Jessie whispered.

Kate doubted that Jessie would ever know what it cost her to say those words, but loving Jessie meant letting her be Jessie, so Kate kissed her softly and held her more tightly. "You're welcome."

Jessie raised up on her elbow so she could look into Kate's face.

"Your mother was different with me tonight. Almost like...she was saying it was okay. About us."

"It is okay, darling," Kate murmured, fisting her hands in Jessie's hair. Jessie had long since removed the leather tie she usually used to hold it back, and it fanned out just above the spot where her collar touched the back of her neck. In the day, in the sunlight, it shone like the gold that the miners chased in the hills and rivers that surrounded them, but as it streamed between her fingers, it felt like the finest silk.

Caught up in the vision of sunlight and heat that was her lover, Kate pushed Jessie onto her back and followed. She stretched out along Jessie's smooth, lean form, settling into her, body to body and heart to heart.

"Kate," Jessie murmured hoarsely. "I don't know if I can--"

"You don't need to." Kate kissed Jessie's mouth, her throat, her breast. "I will."

With a groan, Jessie closed her eyes and arched under Kate, willing to be commanded. Kate's were the only hands she trusted to guide her.

Kate was the only person with whom she could be less than strong, less than sure. She trembled as Kate lavished attention on her breasts, her belly, her thighs. She cried out softly when Kate's mouth found her and again when she dissolved beneath the heat and relentless tenderness of Kate's caress. When Kate returned to her arms, Jessie pressed her face to Kate's throat. "When you love me, I'm not afraid anymore."

Kate framed Jessie's face, softly tracing Jessie's cheekbones and jaw before kissing her gently. "You are my home." She kissed Jessie's breast above her heart. "This is my life." She smiled and shook her head. "I guess stubborn is the other side of strong, and you've got plenty of both."

Jessie grinned and bumped her hips, rolling Kate over. She played her finger down the center of Kate's chest. "I'd say we're pretty even there. You were the one with the gun in her bag all set to do in that snake in the Nugget."

"That just shows I have good sense," Kate replied primly. She caught her breath unevenly as Jessie's fingers skimmed lower, dancing between her thighs. She clutched Jessie's arm as a quiver of excitement shot through her. "I miss lying with you at night when you're out on the trail."

"I'm careful, Kate," Jessie whispered, slowly working her way down Kate's body. She rested her cheek against Kate's stomach and looked up, studying Kate's face in the moonlight. "I'm always careful because I want to come back to you."

"Promise me you always will," Kate gasped.

"I will. Always." Jessie eased inside her with the joy of a lost voyager returning home. Slowly at first, then--as passion eclipsed wonder--with deeper, more demanding strokes, she carried Kate to the peak and over. When Kate's quiet moans of contentment stilled, Jessie slipped out to hold her again. "When I wake up in the morning and see you lying next to me, I don't think I could love you more. When I look across the yard and see you on the porch, carrying water or stacking wood or any of the other dozens of things you do, I don't think I could love you more. When I'm with you like this, when you've touched me in the places no one else sees, and you've let me touch you back, I don't think I could love you more." She kissed the tip of Kate's chin, then her lips. "Every day, I love you more."

Kate wrapped her arms around Jessie's shoulders and pulled her down tight against her. With her mouth against Jessie's ear, she whispered fiercely, "You are my heart. I love you so."

"As soon as Jed can travel safely, I want to bring him back to the Rising Star," Jessie said. "I want him to be looked after with his friends around him."

"Of course. I'm sure I can do whatever needs to be done."

Jessie shook her head. "I'm not asking you to do that. I can--"

"You can, and you will. But not alone." Kate gave Jessie a small shake. "Heavens, didn't we just have this conversation a few weeks ago?"

Jessie smiled and snuggled against Kate's shoulder. "Might be we need to have it a few more times."

"As many times as it takes," Kate said drowsily. "Go to sleep, darling."

"It will be morning soon. I'll try not to wake you."

Softly, Kate laughed. "You always say that, but I always know when you leave me."

Jessie smiled. "I'm glad."

"So am I."

v At the crack of gunfire, Vance shot upright. When another volley reverberated, closer this time, she threw herself over the wounded soldier beside her. "Stay down! Enemy fire."

The ground heaved with the force of cannonballs gouging its surface, and the torn earth rained down upon her, a deadly shower of mud and blood. She groaned as fire scorched her flesh, and she pressed the body beneath her down more forcefully.

"Vance, what is it?" Mae cried, awakened from a sound sleep by Vance's shouts. She pushed instinctively at the heavy weight pinning her to the bed, then relented when she realized she might hurt Vance unknowingly. Instead, she forced herself to lie still and stroked Vance's back. She cradled Vance's head against her breasts, shaken to find that Vance's hair was soaked with sweat and her body ice cold. "Oh, sweetheart, it's all right. It's outside. Some fool is shooting outside in the street."

"Shooting," Vance said urgently. "Someone is shooting."

"It's outside," Mae repeated. The room was growing light, so it had to be close to dawn. She caught Vance's chin in her hand and forced Vance to look at her. She waited until Vance's dark eyes cleared and focused on her face. "No one is shooting at us. We're safe. You're all right."

Vance frowned, struggling to orient herself before memories of the previous evening returned and she realized where she was. Then she became aware, all too acutely, just exactly where she was--lying naked on top of Mae's similarly naked body. With a start, she rolled away onto her back, her chest heaving with the remnants of her nightmare and an altogether different kind of excitement. She'd never experienced the touch of another's body all along the length of her own before, and Mae was lush and warm and arousing.

"You here with me now?" Mae asked as she reached for Vance's hand. Abruptly, pain stabbed at her heart when she realized she was lying on Vance's left side and there was no hand to find. She rolled closer and reached across Vance's stiff body until she could clasp her fingers. "Vance, honey?"

"You see why I shouldn't be lying with you," Vance said, forcing each word out through a throat tight with anger. "I could've hurt you."

"I was the one who almost hurt you," Mae pointed out in what she thought was a reasonable voice considering the swell of fear that coursed through her at Vance's words. It had been a long time since anyone had frightened her. Hurt her body, perhaps, but not her heart.

She stroked Vance's face. "I'm not hurt."

Vance turned her head away. "You could've been. I do things sometimes in my sleep." She laughed unevenly. "I broke an antique lamp one night and had a hard time explaining that to my father in the morning."

"I'm not china, and I don't break easily."

"That's not the point, Mae." Vance withdrew her hand from Mae's grasp and pushed herself up on the bed. "I'm the one who's broken. I've got no business being here."

"What is it you think I need, Vance?" Mae said, heat in her voice now. She sat up, too, unmindful of the sheet falling away and leaving her body bare. "I haven't asked you to do anything for me. I've been taking care of myself for quite some time."

"And I'm not asking you to take care of me." Vance swung her legs over the side of the bed, waiting until she felt steadier before she stood.

"Lord," Mae sighed. "I'm not offering to. What I had in mind was sharing a little comfort and a little pleasure."

Vance said nothing, because she knew it would be far more than that for her. "I appreciate it." She stood and scanned the room, trying to recall where she'd left her pants. "I should get over to the office to check on Jed. I shouldn't have left Caleb alone there all night."

"It hasn't been but a few hours," Mae pointed out as she rose and pulled on her robe. "And you needed some rest."

"I'm sorry I disturbed yours." Vance pulled on her shirt and started working the buttons through the holes.

"You didn't." Mae pushed Vance's hand aside and buttoned her shirt. "I've seen what your spells look like now. Awake and asleep. Is this as bad as they get?"

"No." Vance looked past Mae to the gray light outside the window, feeling very much the same inside. Drained and desolate. "Sometimes they're worse."

The thought of being visited by such horrors made Mae's eyes dim with tears, but she quickly blinked them away, knowing that they would only hurt Vance's already bruised spirit. "Don't seem all that terrifying to me."

Vance smiled wearily. "I don't believe that I've ever met anyone like you."

Mae tilted her head back and met Vance's gaze. "I'll take that as a compliment since you seem to be short on those right now."

"I don't know why you would trouble yourself with me."

"I know you don't." Mae brushed a kiss across Vance's mouth.

"That's probably why I do."

"I do need to see to Jed."

"And I need to be sure that everyone here is tucked safely away."

Mae smoothed her hands over Vance's shirtfront. "I like the way you felt in my bed last night. I want you to come back."

"You're a beautiful woman." Vance played her fingers lightly over Mae's neck and underneath the edge of her robe to skim her collarbone.

"A kind and tender woman."

"Vance--"

"Shh." Vance stepped away, letting her hand fall to her side. "I liked the way it felt to be in your bed last night. I'd like to come back, someday when I'm not empty inside. When there's something for me to give you."

"Maybe there already is," Mae whispered, "only you can't see it."

Vance nodded seriously as she collected her coat. "Maybe you're right. I hope you are."

"Don't stay away because you don't know how it will turn out,"

Mae called as Vance walked to the door. "Some things you only learn by doing."

"I'm not certain I'm as brave as you, Mae." Vance shook her head.

"In fact, I'm quite certain that I'm not." She glanced over her shoulder as she reached for the doorknob. "I lost more than my arm."

"I don't know what it will take for those horrors to be undone, as much as they can be," Mae said, resisting the urge to go to her, to prevent her from leaving. "But I know you didn't lose the best part of you. You might have to trust me on that for a while."

Vance turned the knob but did not go out. "You make me wish for things I have learned to live without."

"Doing without and not wanting are different."

"Yes." Vance pushed open the door and stepped into the hall.

"Good night, Mae."

Mae sat down on the edge of the bed as the door swung closed. She leaned her head against the bedpost and closed her eyes, remembering the way Vance had felt in her arms. And what am I to do with the things you've made me want?

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Vance found Caleb asleep in the front room of the office with his feet up on the desk. She closed the door quietly behind her and started toward the dispensary area in the rear.

"He hasn't come around yet," Caleb said without opening his eyes.

"I'll stay with him now. You go on home."

Caleb eased his feet off the desk, his chair creaking in protest as he shifted his weight forward. Wearily, he rubbed at the stubble on his chin. "Must be about time to get up."

"It's going on six." Vance inclined her head toward the back room.

"If you get a few more hours' sleep, you can spell me here later. Then I'll take care of the out calls."

"You spent most of yesterday on a horse, didn't you?"

Vance hesitated a second. The events of the day before seemed to be in the far-distant past. "I did, yes. But there's no reason I can't do it again."

"I wasn't entirely sure I needed help out here until you arrived,"

Caleb said as he stood and stretched. "Now I see that there's a lot of things that didn't get done because I didn't have time to do them before.

There are a good many people who will be a lot better off because one of us will be able see to them more often. Since we're partners, we should share the work."

"I expect it will take a bit more time before I've earned that right,"

Vance said quietly.

"Out here, things are simpler than I expect you're used to. You're here, you're doing a good job, and I need you to keep doing it. That's all the time it takes for me to see how things should be."

With a shake of her head, Vance said, "I don't know that I would call your way of thinking simple. Practical, or perhaps honest."

Caleb shrugged. "The point is, life's too short to waste time thinking about how to live it. Best just to do it."

Vance thought of Mae's parting words and wondered if she really was afraid of living. She'd never thought of it before, never really considered her choices. The world was black and white and she knew her place in it. Now, with Victor gone, she was alone as she had never been before. She'd lost her home, her most intimate relationship, her sense of wholeness in less than a year. Along the way, she'd lost herself as well. She sighed. "I'd better see to him."

"I'll head on home for a while. See the missus and get something to eat." Caleb donned his hat and coat. "If something urgent comes up, send someone for me."

"I'll do that. Thank you."

He eyed her curiously. "For what?"

"For giving me this chance."

"Can't say as I've done anything except recognize a good deal when I see one. If it's something more than that for you, it's of your own making." He shrugged. "When you get down to it, everyone out here is working on another chance."

Vance smiled. "Then I guess I'm not so different."

"Nope," Caleb said as he opened the front door and breathed deeply of the crisp morning air. "Not much different where it counts.

See you later, Vance."

"Good day, Caleb." When the door closed behind him, Vance opened the inner door and stepped into the dim back room. The air smelled of medicines and must and horses. The odor of death and decay that had been so pervasive in the hospital tents during the war was gone. As she approached the bed where Jed lay beneath a light cover, she saw his eyelids flicker. Quickly, she put her hand on his shoulder, anticipating his awakening.

"Jed," she said firmly, hoping to penetrate his drug- and pain- fogged mind. "You're at Doc Melbourne's. You've been shot, Jed, but you're still among the living."

Slowly, Jed opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. He clutched at the covers, as if they could shield him from further harm. He coughed and groaned quietly.

"I'm Dr. Phelps. You're at Doc Melbourne's now. We took the bullet out last night. You're doing very well."

"Where's Jess?"

Vance was caught off guard by the question and struggled to make sense of it. She hadn't paid any attention to the other cowboys who had been gathered near the office when she'd made her way in the night before. "I don't kno--" Jed pushed the covers back and struggled to sit.

"Here now, don't try to get up."

The slightest pressure from Vance's hand on Jed's shoulder prevented him from rising. Frowning, he shifted in agitation beneath her restraining grip. "Is she hurt? Did they get her, too? I want to see her."

Her. Vance nodded in understanding, recalling Kate with the tall rangy blond the night before. Then she remembered where she'd first seen the unusual cowboy--the day she'd arrived on the stage they'd exchanged a few words in the street. So that was Jessie. Kate's Jessie, apparently, if the intimacy that was obvious between them meant anything. The night she'd escorted Kate home, Kate had said she'd found her love in New Hope. Love for Jessie. Vance was taken with a surge of wonder mixed with a bit of envy. This land was indeed filled with possibility.

"Jessie is fine," Vance said emphatically. "I expect she'll be along anytime. I'm going to give you something for your pain...and don't tell me you're not having any."

Jed closed his eyes. "I wasn't thinking I would."

"This won't take away all the discomfort," Vance said as she opened the bottle of laudanum. "Too much of this and you'll trade one misery for another."

"Don't want much of it."

"You needn't worry. I'll keep an eye on things." She rested the spoon against his lips and when he opened his mouth a fraction she tipped the liquid onto his tongue. She could remember the faintly bitter taste and the rapid spread of soothing heat through her bloodstream that softened her muscles, blunted her pain, and culminated in a blessed state of forgetfulness. On occasion she still succumbed to the need to escape, but a bottle of whiskey was all she would allow herself. The alcohol was far easier to leave behind the next day. "Go ahead and sleep."

When she was certain that Jed was resting comfortably, she returned to the front office, leaving the adjoining door ajar. She settled into Caleb's chair, propped her feet on the desk in the same scuffed spot where he obviously rested his with regularity, and closed her eyes.

She did not expect to sleep; a light doze was all she usually was able to accomplish under any circumstances.

The thud of boot heels on wood brought her bolting to her feet, her hand on her revolver.

"Whoa," Jessie exclaimed, stopping abruptly. She recognized the doctor, but could tell from the wild fire in her eyes she'd been somewhere else just seconds before and wasn't quite altogether here even now. "I'm Jessie Forbes. That's my man back there. I've come to see him."

"I remember you." Vance took a deep breath and focused on the present. From the looks of the sunlight visible through the front windows, she'd been asleep for at least an hour, if not more. She couldn't remember dreaming, which was unusual. "He's probably asleep, but he was asking for you earlier."

Jessie's eyes lit up. "He was awake?"

"For a minute or so."

"So he's going to be all right?"

Vance walked to the dispensary door and closed it. "I don't know.

The bullet came out cleanly but the wound is deep. He lost a fair amount of blood."

Jessie paled and forced her shoulders back, as if preparing for a fight. She studied the rail-thin, dark-haired doctor with the haunted eyes, trying to decide how much store to put in her opinion. She noticed her hand had relaxed and moved away from her sidearm. She'd come awake ready to fight, which meant she'd had to more than a time or two. Jessie respected that. The missing arm said a lot about her, too.

Wounds like that killed most men. So she was strong as well as tough.

Jessie judged that was as much as she needed to know. "What else?"

"In his favor," Vance went on, "he looks like a fighter."

Jessie smiled wryly. "I wouldn't want to take him on."

"That's good. He'll need to be tough." Vance settled a hip on the corner of the desk. "It'll be a few weeks before he's on his feet, if things go well. Another couple before he can ride."

"When can we move him to the ranch?"

"It might be better if he stayed in town. It would be easier for me or Doc Melbourne to check him, and he'll need some proper nursing."

"Mae would be willing to take care of him here," Jessie said.

"She's done it before. She's done it for me. Still, I'd feel better if he was at the Rising Star."

"I didn't realize Mae did that kind of thing," Vance said quietly.

"There isn't much Mae can't do, and nothing she wouldn't do for a friend."

Vance heard the admiration and affection in Jessie's voice and felt a ripple of jealousy. Jessie Forbes gave every sign of being what Vance had once been--cocksure of herself, strong and fit, in charge of her life. She was also a handsome woman, clear eyed and well built. Vance could see her swinging Mae off her feet, Mae with her arms around those strong shoulders, laughing-- "Can I see him now?" Jessie asked.

"Yes," Vance said swiftly, forcing the painful images from her mind. "Of course."

v "Mae!" Kate called as she recognized her friend crossing the street toward the hotel. She hurried down the board sidewalk toward her.

"You're in town early," Mae said, lifting her skirts to climb the two stairs up to the raised walkway that ran along the front of the buildings.

"Jessie and I stayed at the hotel last night. Jessie has gone off to check on Jed. I was just on my way to the newspaper office to see if my father had come into work yet." Kate slipped her arm through Mae's.

"What luck that I ran into you."

"I'm not usually up this early," Mae said wryly. "But since I am, I thought I'd get breakfast at the hotel."

"Oh, let's do. I couldn't keep Jessie still long enough to feed her. All she wanted was to see Jed. Then she was going to return the buckboard we borrowed last night and meet me back here."

"I imagine she'll be hungry once her worry is settled a bit." Mae paused as they neared the hotel. "You're really not fretting that there'll be gossip about us?"

Kate stopped and regarded Mae seriously. "Of course I'm not.

You're my best friend."

"Lord, Kate," Mae said. "You're as stubborn as Jessie is. You just hide it better."

Laughing, Kate drew Mae inside. "It's a good thing I am, because between you and Jessie I've got my hands full."

They crossed the lobby, which was empty save for several worn sofas and chairs, to the dining room off to one side. To Kate's surprise, Rose Mason and her mother sat at one of the small tables having tea and biscuits. Rose's face lit up when she saw them, but Clarissa Mason's turned to stony disapproval.

"Kate!" Rose exclaimed, waving. "Come join us."

Kate saw Clarissa lean close to her daughter and whisper into her ear with some urgency, a disapproving admonishment Kate surmised.

Suppressing a smile of satisfaction at the thought of Clarissa Mason's distress, Kate nevertheless shook her head. She had no desire to put Mae in a situation where she would be uncomfortable. "Thank you, but we wouldn't want to intrude."

"We were just about to leave," Clarissa Mason said brittlely.

"Oh, Mama," Rose objected. "You know Anna said she wouldn't be ready for our fitting for at least another hour." As Kate and Mae started toward a nearby table, Rose announced, "We're having dresses made with some of the material we brought back from Denver. They're going to be in the latest style."

"That sounds wonderful," Kate said with what she hoped was an appropriate degree of enthusiasm. She thought of her plans to adjust her own clothing to suit her new activities at the ranch and how appalled Rose would be at the outcome. How much her life had changed since coming to New Hope and finding Jessie. Finding herself. Although never as interested in fashion and social dealings as her girlfriends had been, she now found such concerns frivolous in the extreme.

"You go on ahead, Mama. I know you want to talk to Mrs. Frankel at the store. I'll have tea with Kate and..." Rose stared at Mae with added interest.

"I'm so sorry for my bad manners," Kate said, turning aside for a moment to ask for tea and biscuits from the boy who had come out from the kitchen to inquire. She smiled at Rose, who hurried to join them despite a disapproving cluck from her mother. "This is my friend Mae."

"Hello," Mae said.

"I'm so happy to meet you," Rose said as she settled at the table Kate and Mae had chosen.

"Likewise, I'm sure," Mae said, one elegant eyebrow raised.

Clarissa Mason paused by the table long enough to give her daughter a hard stare, then said coolly, "Don't be long. We have a great many things to do this morning before our appointment for tea at the Millers'."

"I'll be there shortly," Rose said. As soon as her mother disappeared, Rose leaned forward conspiratorially. "I heard that there was excitement last night at Doc Melbourne's." She glanced at Kate.

"Is it true that someone from the Rising Star was shot?"

"Yes," Kate said quietly. "Our foreman, Jed."

"Did Vance take care of him?"

Mae didn't miss the eager emphasis Rose placed on Vance's name. She narrowed her eyes and studied her thoughtfully. Rose was very much like the young girls she had grown up with, the daughters of privileged families who rebelled against the restrictions imposed upon them by dabbling in what they perceived to be exotic or dangerous pursuits. Sometimes that took the form of romantic liaisons with men their parents would find unsuitable. She could imagine that Vance, being so very different from any of the women or men with whom Rose was familiar, would seem exciting and intriguing. Vance was surely handsome enough to turn any woman's eye, if only out of sheer appreciation for simple beauty. She wondered if the woman Vance had mentioned being attracted to in medical school had been anything like Rose, delicately lovely and undoubtedly eagerly passionate. She pushed the thought aside, because envisioning Vance with Rose or any other woman was more than she could tolerate under the best of circumstances. After a tempestuous night and very little sleep, she was likely to become dangerously ill-tempered.

"Yes, she did. She was wonderful," Kate enthused. "I've never seen anything like it."

"I really think we should have some kind of welcoming party for her, don't you?" Rose said. "After all, she's a very important new member of our community. I think we should let her know how much we appreciate her."

Kate glanced quickly at Mae, whose expression suggested she was contemplating violence. "I'm sure Dr. Phelps would appreciate that. Right now, I imagine she'll be very busy taking care of Jed and all her other responsibilities."

"Will Jed be recuperating here in town?" Rose asked.

Kate shook her head. "No, Jessie will want him back at the ranch as soon as possible."

"You'll need help looking after him," Rose said. "I'm sure my mother would give me permission to help you. After all, it's the neighborly thing to--"

"That's very kind of you," Mae said flatly. "I've already offered to give Kate a hand, and I've had a great deal of experience with it."

"Oh." Rose looked crestfallen and then brightened after a few seconds. "Well, I'm sure you'll be needing extra food prepared and things like that. I'll be sure to bring some out."

"That would be very nice," Kate said, carefully not looking in Mae's direction. It wouldn't do to laugh.

"Well," Rose said, rising. "I should go before my mother gets upset." She smiled at Mae. "It was very nice to meet you."

Mae found it hard not to like her naďve friendliness and smiled despite the nagging image of Rose turning her considerable charms on Vance. "Same here."

Kate waited a beat until Rose was out of earshot, then said, "You don't really have to come all the way out to the ranch to help with Jed."

"I don't mind." Mae sipped the tea that had been delivered while Rose had been scheming to find a way to see Vance. "It's difficult work."

"I'm not afraid of that."

"I know, but I might be able to show you some things."

Kate nodded. "I'd appreciate that. And you know you're always welcome at the ranch, without needing a reason." Kate reached for a biscuit and grinned at Mae. "Rose is very curious about Vance."

"I noticed that."

"Vance is very striking."

"I noticed that, too."

"I thought perhaps you had." Kate grew suddenly serious. "I think she's quite marvelous."

"So do I," Mae said softly.

"Well, then it's a good thing you'll be coming out to the ranch to help with Jed."

"I wonder when Vance will let Jessie take him home."

Kate glanced across the room. "Why don't we ask her?"

Mae looked over her shoulder and saw Vance and Jessie approaching. It was the first time she'd seen them together. They were as different as night and day, Jessie golden and radiantly vigorous, Vance dark and broodingly potent. They were of a kind, and yet completely individual. They were painfully beautiful. "Oh my."

"Yes," Kate murmured. "I always thought that Jessie was just Jessie. But it's more than that, isn't it?"

"I think so," Mae said.

"It's something wonderful."

"Yes." Mae smiled up at Vance, who stood beside her chair. "Yes, it is."

CHAPTER NINETEEN

"Hello," Mae said, noticing in the bright light of day the smudges of weariness beneath Vance's eyes. She wondered if there would ever come a time when those shadows would lift.

"Good morning." Vance nodded to Kate as she took the chair next to Mae's. She registered absently the look of open affection that Kate gave to Jessie, but her attention was completely focused on Mae.

When they'd parted some hours before, Mae had been disheveled from sleep. Beautiful in the way that women were when at their most natural.

Now, she was dressed in a midnight blue dress that was considerably less revealing than what she wore in the evenings, but she was no less striking. Her hair was piled high and held with delicate combs; here and there a twisting strand of gold fell free. Her hands were unadorned save for a single emerald ring on her wedding finger. Her hands were delicate and small, and Vance was immediately assaulted with the memory of those fingers skimming her breasts. Without being aware of it, she clenched her fist on the table, her body vibrating with tension.

"How is Jed?" Kate asked, brushing her hand down Jessie's arm as her lover settled beside her.

"Doing as well as can be expected." Jessie tilted her chin toward Vance. "Thanks to the doctor, here." She glanced at the scrawny boy who approached the table with an inquiring look on his face. "Coffee.

Vance?"

"Lots of it," Vance replied. "And the thanks are mostly due to the fact that Jed's stubborn and strong."

"Neither would do him much good," Mae pointed out gently, "if you hadn't gotten the bullet out as slick as you did."

"We got lucky there." When Mae smiled and briefly stroked the back of Vance's hand, a knot of tension coiled in the pit of Vance's stomach. She wanted to open her hand and lace her fingers through Mae's, just to feel more of her skin. She caught a whiff of spice and warm earth, and longed to press her face to Mae's neck. It was dangerous being anywhere near her, because all she wanted was to lose herself in the sensation of her. She straightened and moved her hand away.

"Another twenty-four hours and you can take him back to the ranch."

"We're used to tending our wounded," Jessie said quietly.

"I imagine that you are. That's good." Vance looked across the table into Jessie's eyes. "I imagine you spend a goodly amount of time on the range. Jed's going to need fairly constant care for the first week or so. If I can, I'll come out a couple of times a day to look after his dressings."

"I can help with that," Kate said quickly.

"So can I," Mae added.

"I expect that's so," Vance said. "But I'll need to watch him closely for the first four or five days. Then, if he's coming along with no problems, you two can take over." She shifted and glanced at Mae.

"It's quite some distance to the ranch, and you shouldn't be out riding alone. I'd be pleased to escort you if you intend to visit."

Mae's eyes widened in surprise. She was used to coming and going at all hours of the night and day with no one but herself to guard her well-being. That Vance should even concern herself sent a thrill through her. Still, it wasn't necessary. "You'll have better things to do than take me arou--"

"Vance is right," Jessie said firmly. "It's too far for you to go alone."

"Now listen here, both of you," Mae said in exasperation. While she was touched, it did not escape her notice that both Jessie and Vance came and went unescorted. "I don't need any more protection than what I already have. I can shoot as well as either one of you, I'll wager."

"I expect you can." Vance smiled. "But since I will be going that way, there's no reason you can't come along to protect me."

Despite her indignation, Mae laughed. "Why the two of you seem to think that you're the only capable ones is beyond me."

Vance and Jessie exchanged a commiserating glance. Catching sight of the stubborn set to Jessie's jaw, Kate bumped her shoulder.

"Neither Mae nor I are careless. You're just going to have to trust us."

Jessie sighed in exasperation. "It's not about trust, it's about...

it's about..." She looked across the table at Mae and Vance, then said quietly to Kate, "It's about loving you."

"I know it is." Kate's expression softened and she smoothed her palm over Jessie's thigh. "And I feel exactly the same way about you.

Do you see how it goes both ways?"

"I suppose." Jessie cast one more hopeful look in Vance's direction, but got only a shake of her head in return. "Then I think you and I should take a ride outside town for some target practice."

Kate's face lit up. "Now?"

Jessie laughed. "I don't see why not."

"Mae, do you mind?" Kate asked.

"Lord, no. I think it's a great idea." She gave Jessie a knowing look. "And you ought to get her something with a little more power than what she's got in that bag right now."

"I intend to." Jessie stood and held out her hand. "Ready, Kate?"

Kate jumped up and clasped Jessie's hand briefly before gathering her things. "I'll come by later, Mae, since it looks like we'll be staying in town one more night."

"You do that. I want to hear all about your lesson." Mae watched Kate and Jessie hurry away with a fond expression. "Sometimes I forget that she's little more than a girl."

"Kate?" Vance asked.

"Yes," Mae said, returning her attention to Vance. "I don't think she's seen twenty yet."

"You can't be much ahead of her."

"You have a very smooth way with words, Vance. Let's say I'm closer to thirty than twenty."

Vance drank deeply from the bitter coffee the young boy had left and thought of all the other young boys she had watched die by the hundreds during the war. "Years don't matter nearly as much as how we spend them. Kate strikes me as being a very sensible woman."

"She is. They both are." Mae pushed her tea aside. "I can tell when you're thinking about the war. Your eyes get so sad."

"You mustn't worry for me," Vance said.

"But you know that I do, don't you."

"I know that it's in your nature to care for others." Vance looked away from the deep green of Mae's eyes, fearing she would surrender to their gentle beckoning. "Last night, you comforted me. That was kindness."

"Last night I held you. Does it matter why?" Mae whispered.

"I don't know."

"I want to be holding you again right now."

Vance shivered and the cup she held in her hand rattled against the tabletop. "I have work to do."

"I know. Will you come back tonight?"

"Even if I don't know why?"

"I don't care." Aware that they were in public, Mae rested a fingertip delicately against Vance's wrist. She would have liked to have taken her hand. "Late, after midnight."

Vance knew why Mae made the request. She would be busy during the evening and most of the night seeing that the girls were not abused by customers, or taking care of customers herself. Mae had never made a secret nor given an apology for what she did to make her way in the world. Vance did not expect her to, yet the thought of a man using her made her tremble with fury. She looked away, not wanting Mae to see her anger.

"Do you think it means something to me?" Mae asked quietly.

Vance snapped her head back and searched Mae's troubled gaze.

"Do you think I judge you?"

"I don't know." Mae shook her head. "I can't change what--"

"I don't like to see your goodness wasted."

Mae felt a shock of surprise. She was used to disdain or distaste, but never concern. "Do you think that's what I give them? No. I give them a lie, and everyone knows it. But sometimes a lie is better than nothing."

Vance looked down at the table where Mae's hand lay close to hers. She imagined the softness and the heat in her touch, the tenderness and the care. She covered Mae's hand with hers, and when Mae would have pulled away, closed her fingers around Mae's.

"Vance, someone might see--"

"I do not want lies between us."

As her breath fled, Mae turned her hand over and felt Vance's fingers slip through hers. She clasped them gently. "There won't be."

"I'll come tonight if I can," Vance said. "I'm not sure I can give you anything. At least not enough." She lifted her eyes to Mae's. "That's the truth."

"Then that's enough."

The tree branch danced and skittered across the ground as if possessed.

"Good shot," Jessie said with pride. She stood behind Kate, both hands lightly on Kate's hips, sighting over Kate's shoulder as Kate fired Jessie's revolver. "Now, try the stone off to the side there. The reddish one."

"It looks so small."

"Make it even smaller. Sight a spot no bigger than your thumb.

That's your target." She pressed closer, steadying Kate against the front of her body. "Remember, squeeze all the way through the shot."

Kate imagined a white circle in the center of the dusty stone and allowed her awareness of everything else to slip away. She felt the curved metal of the trigger against her finger, and when they blended together as a whole, she closed her hand, increasing the pressure until the gun fired. A puff of dirt kicked up six inches from her target. "Damn."

Jessie laughed. "That would do the job if you can get that close."

Kate stepped away and handed the revolver, grip first, to Jessie.

"Let me see you do it."

"Kate," Jessie protested. "I learned to shoot almost as soon as I learned to ride, and I learned to ride before I could walk."

"Jessie," Kate said threateningly.

"All right," Jessie said quickly in surrender. She reholstered her Colt .45 and moved several more feet away. Then, almost faster than Kate could follow, she drew and fired. The stone jumped straight up and she fired again, hitting it in the air and splitting it into pieces.

"I want to be able to do that," Kate said. "That was wonderful."

"It might be better if we practiced with the rifle. You can keep that beside you in the buckboard, and the range is better."

"Both," Kate said with determination.

Jessie gave Kate a long look. "What are you planning, Kate?"

Kate smiled and held out her hand. "Come sit beside me and I'll tell you."

After they climbed into the buckboard, Jessie put her arm around Kate's shoulders. "All right. Seems like a lot happened while I was away for a few days."

"You have no right to talk, Jessie Forbes. Not after what happened to you out there." To soften her words, Kate kissed Jessie quickly.

"Vance said a town this size needs a midwife. I think she'd teach me."

"Midwife," Jessie said slowly. "I...why, Kate, I..."

Anxiously, Kate went on quickly. "I know I'd be away from the ranch some of the time, but I'm sure I can take care of everything at home and still--"

"I think it sounds wonderful," Jessie said firmly. "I think you would make a fine midwife." She turned on the seat and took both of Kate's hands, studying her seriously. "This is what you want? It would make you happy?"

"You make me happy," Kate said. "Wonderfully happy. But sometimes I feel like I want to do more. To do something that..." She sighed, frustrated, searching for words. "I want to have something of my own that matters."

Jessie nodded. "Like the ranch matters to me."

"Yes. Like that."

"Well," Jessie said, "then you have to be able to shoot. And ride astride. As soon as we get back to the ranch, we'll pick you out a horse."

"I was rather thinking of Rory."

Jessie laughed out loud. "Kate, Rory is a wild mustang. I can barely sit him."

"He likes me."

"He likes the sugar and apples you give him."

Kate grinned. "That too." She kissed Jessie again. "Sometimes bribery works."

Jessie put both arms around Kate and pulled her close. With her mouth on Kate's, she muttered, "So do kisses."

Mae removed the key from the inside pocket of her dress and fit it to the lock in the door to her room. As she stepped inside, she was propelled forward by a sharp blow in the center of her back. She would have stumbled and fallen, but large hands grasped her arms and swung her around so forcefully that she banged against the wall, striking her head hard enough to cause her vision to blur.

"Been holding back on the profits, Mae?" a deep male voice grated. "Or have you just been too busy entertaining the new doctor to work the way you ought to?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mae said sharply, trying to twist out of the painful grasp. She turned her face away from the fetid odor of stale whiskey and tobacco. He was larger than her by half, and he leaned his weight against her, leaving no doubt as to the pleasure he got from handling her. "You've been getting your money just like always."

Michael Hanrahan came around once a week to collect the money she and the girls earned entertaining men. She had never been certain to whom he reported, but she was sure that he did not own the Golden Nugget. He was too often drunk and far too ignorant to run a successful business, and she doubted that Frank would work for the likes of him.

Nevertheless, he had power by virtue of the fact that he represented whoever controlled them all from behind the scenes.

"I've got what you've come for in my dresser," Mae said calmly.

"Let me go and I'll get it for you."

He put his hand beneath her dress and dragged his fingers up her thigh to clasp her roughly between the legs. "How do you know what I've come for?"

She stayed perfectly still and kept her eyes on his, refusing to allow him the pleasure of seeing her pain or her fear. She couldn't reach her Derringer, which was strapped just above her knee, and even if she could, she wouldn't shoot him. Killing him would only bring down the wrath of other men. Men who were most certainly more dangerous. "I imagine you've got somewhere to be with that money."

His gaze flickered away, and she knew that he was considering how much time he had before he needed to deliver what he'd come to collect. When he roughly covered her mouth with his and forced his tongue past her lips, she reacted instinctively. She bit him, and he pulled away swearing. She didn't have time to raise her arm and block the vicious backhand he swung at her face. When brutal pain exploded inside her head, she slumped to the floor.

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Hey, Jed," Jessie said, gently resting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad," Jed said, his voice rough and raspy. He smiled weakly at Kate, who stood by Jessie's side.

"The doctor says you're doing very well," Kate said, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Tomorrow, we're going to take you home."

"That sounds right fine." He coughed and grimaced. "Sorry to be so much trouble."

"Guess you must've fallen on your head when you pitched off that horse," Jessie said roughly, "seeing as how you're talking foolishness."

"I can't say as I'll mind going home."

Vance came in just in time to hear Jed's remark. "Something wrong with our hospitality?"

"No," he said, turning his head slowly as she approached. "But being here makes me feel like something mighty serious might be ailing me."

"Oh," Vance said musingly, "nothing that a little time won't take care of." She took off her coat and hung it on a pine clothes rack inside the door. "I'm going to need to take a look at that back of yours now."

"All right," Jed said.

As Vance opened a cabinet against the wall and withdrew a stack of clean bandages, she said, "It might be a bit painful. I'll give you some laudanum before we start."

"Can't say as I like that stuff overmuch. Makes my head feel like it's filled with wool."

"It can do that. You won't need as much this time." She placed the supplies on a stand by the bed and regarded Jessie and Kate. "This will take me a little while."

"I'd like to help," Kate said. "Then I'll know what needs to be done."

"All right. Jess?"

"I'll just wait over here out of the way." Jessie patted Jed's shoulder again before moving to the opposite side of the room. She leaned against the wall and watched Vance and Kate as they worked.

Despite having only one arm, Vance was obviously strong and was able to move Jed onto his side with only a little assistance from Kate.

When they pulled the blanket down, Jessie saw that the bandage over the center of Jed's back was dark with blood. She tensed, knowing he was a long way from being all right and that it could easily have been her lying there instead of him.

Vance said something to Kate that Jessie couldn't hear, and then both women went to a sideboard where they rinsed their hands in an enamel basin with something Vance poured from one of the containers she withdrew from a cabinet. Then Vance removed the poultice over Jed's wound, pointing something out to Kate, whose face was a study in rapt attention. Jessie wondered whether Kate would have become a doctor like Vance if she had remained in Boston. It struck her that when Kate had come West, she'd given up far more than Jessie had ever considered. When Kate looked over at her and smiled with excitement, Jessie smiled back, but she felt a trickle of apprehension race along her spine.

Her attention and the stirrings of worry were diverted by the thud of running feet in the outer room and the bang of the door crashing open. All three women staring in surprise as a young boy of perhaps eight careened into the room, sweating and out of breath. He gaped at Vance.

"Help you?" Vance asked.

"I'm supposed to find a doctor," he exclaimed, dancing from one foot to the other and waving his arms. His canvas trousers were a size too big, his boots worn almost flat at the heels, and his face and hands streaked with grime. He smelled like a barnyard.

"I'm Dr. Phelps," Vance said as she threaded the last bit of linen packing into the tract of the bullet wound. "What's the trouble?"

"My ma. My ma says the baby is coming soon and I'm to get the doctor." He looked from one woman to the next, clearly confused.

"Where is he?"

"Aren't you Emily Jones's son?" Kate said kindly. "Tommy, right?"

The boy nodded vigorously.

Kate said to Vance, "Emily is a few years older than me. She's got...five already, I think."

"Then this one will come along quickly," Vance remarked, straightening up. "Jessie, can you help Jed get comfortable?"

Jessie pushed quickly away from the wall. "Sure."

"I'll be with you in just a minute, son," Vance said, collecting the instruments and placing them in a tray on the sideboard. "Don't worry, now. I can take care of your mother."

"Can I come with you?" Kate said hurriedly. "I could help." At Vance's look of inquiry, she added firmly, "I want to learn to be a midwife."

Vance regarded her steadily for a long moment, then nodded briskly. "All right. Let me show you the equipment we need to have available."

While Kate and Vance collected instruments and supplies, Jessie helped Jed ease onto his back. Jed's eyes were clouded with pain. "You okay there?"

"I expect I'll live."

"I sure hope so." Jessie smiled grimly. "We've got a score to settle."

"You'd best be waiting for me for that."

"I will if I can." Jessie shrugged. "I expect that won't be up to me. If they've a mind to keep stealing my stock, I'll have to set them right."

"You need to take care, Jess," Jed said urgently. "They won't think nothing of shooting--"

"Jessie," Kate said, resting her hand in the center of Jessie's back, "I might be gone for a while. Will you be all right?"

"I want to check on things out at the ranch, anyhow. Why don't you have Vance bring you back there when you're done?" She grinned at Jed. "Then tomorrow, we'll come back into town and collect this one."

"Yes, all right. If you're sure?" Suddenly, Kate was nervous. She had no idea what to expect, never having witnessed a birth, or if she would even be of any use to Vance. And she hadn't given Jessie very much time to grow accustomed to the idea of her taking on this new responsibility. She searched Jessie's face uncertainly. "If you think I shouldn't--"

"I think you and the doctor should get going," Jessie said gently.

"Sounds like you're needed somewhere pretty fast." She stroked a finger down Kate's cheek. "You be careful."

"I love you," Kate whispered so that only Jessie could hear.

Jessie felt the words settle around her heart, next to the worry that she tried to push aside.

v "Don't push yet, Emily. This baby's almost out." Vance cupped the infant's head in the palm of her hand and gently eased her fingers inside the birth canal beneath the shoulders. "All right now, bear down nice and easy."

Kate stood just behind Vance's shoulder, holding a warm blanket and barely breathing. Emily had been almost ready to deliver when they'd arrived. They had hurriedly boiled water to cleanse the instruments Vance had packed and heated blankets and towels in the oven. Emily's husband Robert had retreated to the barn, muttering something about cows the instant they'd arrived. Kate and Tommy had settled the other children, ranging in age from toddler to six or seven years old, into their respective cribs and the single large bed the oldest ones shared in the loft above the main room of the house. Emily and Robert's bedroom occupied part of the first floor along with the kitchen and common living space.

"Once the head is delivered," Vance murmured, "all we need is a shoulder, and the rest will follow smoothly. I'm guiding the right shoulder out by angling the left back and the right forward with my finger and thumb." Vance looked up into Kate's eager eyes. The room was sweltering because they'd built the fire up high in the fireplace, and Vance's hair glistened with sweat. "Once this little one starts coming, it won't take but a second. You need to be prepared to catch it."

"Yes," Kate whispered. "I understand."

"Here it comes. One more push, Emily," Vance told the laboring woman. An instant later the shoulder came into view, then an arm, and then, with a gush of fluid, the baby slid out along Vance's forearm and up against her chest, where she cradled it. "You did wonderfully, Mother. And you have a...daughter."

"Oh, at last," Emily sighed tiredly. "I love the boys, but I could use some help in the house."

"Here you go, Kate," Vance said, straightening and angling the baby toward Kate. "Wrap her up and put her up on the mother's belly.

Then we'll take care of the cord."

Vance took a length of cotton twine from the items she and Kate had assembled on a chair beside her and held it out to Kate. "Tie this an inch from her belly, as tightly as you can, and then a second time several inches away."

Kate's hands trembled as she followed Vance's instructions.

"There."

"Good. Now, take the scissors and cut the cord."

For an instant, Kate looked into Vance's face, seeking assurance.

Vance's eyes were calm and encouraging. Steadier now, Kate removed a clean towel from around the scissors they had boiled earlier and snipped the cord.

"Go ahead and give her to Emily to nurse. The afterbirth will be coming soon." As Vance spoke, she massaged Emily's lower abdomen, feeling the uterus continue to contract weakly as it worked to expel the placenta. A trickle of blood flowed from the birth canal as the placenta separated from the wall of the uterus. The amount of blood flow was normal and the dark maroon color indicated that the uterus was already beginning to shrink. The tightening muscles were closing off the connections between Emily's body and the mass of arteries and veins that had nourished the fetus for nine months.

"Come here, Kate, and put your hand where mine is." Vance guided Kate's hand over the dome of the uterus which was still large enough to extend out of the pelvis. "Sometimes after a prolonged labor the muscles fatigue, and you have to help the contractions along by massaging the womb. Emily is doing fine without our help."

"It's the most amazing thing I've ever experienced." Kate had never felt so connected to the essence of life before. Moments earlier she had seen, and now she could feel, the breathtaking elegance of birth.

"Yes," Vance said softly. "It's a wonder."

"Thank you so much for letting me be here."

Vance smiled. "There'll be nights when you'll be so tired you won't thank me, but I promise you'll never grow weary of the moment when you hand the baby to the mother."

Kate laughed softly. "I know you're right."

An hour later when Vance steered the buggy into the yard in front of Kate's house, it was close to midnight. It was cool enough that they had pulled the blanket over their legs. The sky was cloud filled and totally black. Even the moon and stars were obscured. A lamp glowed in the front room, lighting their way. Vance set the traces onto the floor, jumped down, and hurried around to Kate's side. She held up her hand as Kate stepped onto the running board. "I'll see you in the morning when you come for Jed."

"All right," Kate said, taking Vance's hand. She squeezed it gently.

"Thank you again for tonight."

Nodding, Vance took a step back. "It was my pleasure. It's been some time since I've had the opportunity to teach. If you'd like to continue--"

"Oh, yes. Please." Kate shivered and pulled her cloak more tightly around her shoulders. "Any time. Please."

"It's almost always in the middle of the night," Vance warned, laughing softly.

"That's all right. Do you want to come in for something hot to drink before you drive back to town? Or you could spend the night here."

"No, thank you. I'll just wait until you're inside." Vance climbed back up into the buggy. It would take an hour or more to return to town, and unless there was another call waiting for her at the office, she would still be able to see Mae.

"Be careful, then."

"Yes." Vance nodded absently. "Good night, Kate."

"Good night." Kate had not yet reached the front door when it opened and Jessie stepped out. Kate took her hand. "Have you been waiting up, darling?"

"Couldn't sleep," Jessie said as she watched Vance's buggy turn from the yard. "She could have stayed here."

"I asked," Kate said, slipping her arm around Jessie's waist. "Let me get warm. Then I have so much to tell you."

"I've a fire going in the library. I can make some tea."

Kate removed her bonnet and cloak as they walked down the hallway that formed the center of the house, ending at the kitchen in the rear. She shook out her hair with a sigh as she removed the pins that held it up. "No, I don't think I'll get to sleep as it is. I'm far too excited."

Jessie said nothing as she followed Kate into the library, but walked to a heavy wooden sideboard against the far wall and poured a short shot of whiskey. "Spirits?"

"Oh, I don't know. That might not make me sleepy, but it will certainly make me silly. And I mustn't forget anything about tonight."

Kate stretched both hands out toward the fire and rubbed her palms together. "Oh, you can't imagine what it was like."

Jessie came to join her by the fire and sipped the whiskey as she took in Kate's pleasure. She listened intently as Kate explained all she had experienced, enjoying her excitement. "It seems like you learned an awful lot from seeing one baby being born."

"Vance is the most wonderful teacher." Kate gripped Jessie's arm. "It's amazing everything she's accomplished. Schooling, the war, traveling across the country. I can hardly imagine."

"Women out here don't get the chance for a life like hers."

Kate looked at Jessie curiously, hearing a note of melancholy in her voice that was totally unlike her. "What do you mean?"

"Being a doctor." Jessie hunched her shoulders and moodily watched the fire. "Having the respect of other people because of how much you know and what you can do."

"Jessie," Kate said gently, encircling Jessie's waist and resting her cheek against Jessie's shoulder. "That's exactly the way people regard you."

"What?" Jessie laughed. "Why, Kate, there's nothing special about me. I'm just a rancher like half the other folks around here."

"How many women own their own ranch, breed their own horses, are in charge of so many men?" Kate squeezed Jessie in playful annoyance. "Why, the first time I saw you I realized I'd never seen a woman like you before. Not just how beautiful you were." Kate turned Jessie's head toward her and kissed her lingeringly. "But how certain and sure you were."

"There's plenty of women out here making their way alone. I'm lucky, I guess, because I had the ranch left to me. I could just as well have had nothing after my father died."

"That may be, but you've kept it going and made it something even more over the years. That's what people respect." Kate tightened her hold and kissed Jessie's throat. "You're doing everything I had always hoped to do. Living the life you've chosen. I've always loved that about you."

Jessie stroked Kate's back and nuzzled her hair. "You could be a doctor like Vance. You're every bit as smart."

Kate leaned away and studied Jessie's face. "Is that what you think I want?"

"I can see how happy it makes you doing for others. Working with Vance." Jessie kissed Kate's forehead. "You should be able to do anything you want to do."

"And if I said I wanted to go back East to go to school?" Kate spoke quietly, her gaze locked with Jessie's.

Jessie took a deep breath and fought not to tremble. "If that's what you want."

"I've a mind to torture you, because sometimes you irritate me so," Kate said in exasperation. She curled her fingers around Jessie's belt and pressed hard against her body. "Jessie Forbes, I love you. I have no intention of doing anything that would take me away from you for more than a few hours at a time. I am certainly not going back East for any reason under the sun. What's gotten into you?"

Jessie held Kate tightly. "I just see how excited you are to be working with Vance, and how much you think of her."

"I love you." Kate kissed Jessie soundly, then started opening her belt buckle. "It's time that I remind you of that."

"Maybe," Jessie laughed shakily as Kate tugged her shirt free from her pants, "I should work on irritating you more often."

"I don't expect you're going to stop anytime soon," Kate said as she slipped her hands inside Jessie's shirt. "And I'm glad."

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

By the time Vance had stopped at the office to ensure that Caleb did not need her to see to any new emergencies, returned her buggy at the livery, and stopped at her room to change her soiled clothing, it was well after one. After stripping off the offending garments, she washed up with the lukewarm water in the pitcher on her dresser. She rummaged through her valise for her cleanest shirt, fresh drawers, and her least rumpled trousers. Once she'd donned her holster, she headed across the street to the saloon.

The room was nearly empty. A cowboy slept with his head down and his hand around a bottle of whiskey at one end of the bar, a boy of twelve or so who looked half asleep swept dust around on the plank floor, and the piano player tapped out single notes with one finger as he stared into his beer. Frank had removed his apron and was wiping down the surface of the bar with methodical strokes. He looked up as Vance approached, his usual friendly smile absent.

"Evening, Frank," Vance said, sliding a coin across the bar.

"Whiskey, please."

As he poured the drink, Vance looked over the room again and then up to the balcony where one or two of the girls could usually be seen watching the activities or, occasionally, servicing a customer.

There was no one there now. Vance downed the drink quickly and signaled for another. This one she sipped slowly as she watched Frank, wondering at his silence.

"Busy night?" Vance finally asked.

"'Bout like always." Frank carefully folded his damp towel into a neat square and draped it over the edge of the bar. He regarded Vance impassively. "Mae said I was to tell you she was busy tonight. If I was to see you."

Vance flushed, partly from the embarrassment of having Frank know why she had come and partly from sharp disappointment. She wasn't ashamed of her relationship with Mae, but she didn't want Frank to think that she was just another customer. That she would use Mae that way. Mostly, she was hurt to think that Mae was unavailable to her because someone else had a claim on her time, and her tenderness, and her body. It was hard to know which she resented more, because they all were precious to her. She quickly finished her drink.

"Thanks. No need to tell her I was by." Vance waved her hand when Frank went to give her change. "Give it to one of the girls."

Vance was halfway to the door when Frank spoke.

"She ain't busy."

Turning, Vance studied his face. What she had initially taken for indifference she now recognized as a concerted effort to control hot temper. His eyes burned with anger. A sick dread roiled in the pit of her stomach as she hastened toward the stairs. "Where is she?"

"In her room, I imagine. Here!" Frank called.

Vance turned and caught the bottle of whiskey he tossed to her solidly in her right hand. She tucked it under her left arm to keep her hand free in case she needed her gun. "Thanks."

v Once upstairs, Vance checked the length of the hall before going to Mae's room. All the other doors were closed and the rooms quiet except for one, from which the sounds of labored coupling filtered through to her. Assured that no particular threat lurked to take her unawares, she tapped on Mae's door. When she got no response, she tried the knob and found it locked. She knocked louder.

"Mae. It's Vance."

She waited a full minute and contemplated kicking in the door.

The only reason she hesitated was because she knew it would frighten Mae. Louder now, she called, "Mae!"

The door opened an inch. "Hush. You'll raise everyone."

Vance couldn't see Mae's face, but she felt a flood of relief just to hear her voice. "May I come in?"

"Not tonight, sweetheart. I'll send a note for you when it's a good time to come by."

As the door started to close, Vance braced her arm against it. "No. Not until I see you."

"Vance, please."

"I'll stand right here. I won't step into your room. Just let me see you."

"There's nothing to trouble yourself over. It's just...not tonight."

"I'm not leaving."

Mae heard the iron in Vance's voice and knew that she would not win this battle. With a sigh, she stepped back and pulled the door open. The room was in shadow. A single candle burned on the dresser.

Backing up as Vance walked toward her, Mae pulled her robe tightly across her breasts. "I'm sorry about tonight. You've got a right to be angry, but I--"

"Quiet, now. It's all right," Vance said softly as she veered away from Mae, who obviously did not want her too close. She put the whiskey bottle on the dresser and fished in her vest pocket for a stick match. Finding one, she lifted the globe on the oil lamp and lit it. She turned back and went very still as she saw Mae clearly for the first time.

The confusion and uncertainty in her belly turned to fury. Her rage made her voice even more gentle. "Who did this?"

The right side of Mae's face was a massive purple bruise, her eyelid swollen shut. The corner of her mouth was split from what had obviously been a vicious blow. The thought that anyone would lay hands on her made Vance nearly insane. She swept the room as if the perpetrator might still be there and unconsciously slid out her revolver.

"Where is he?"

"Gone," Mae said wearily. It was harder for her to have Vance see her like this, a victim, than to have the entire town look down upon her for being a whore. At least that she could claim to have chosen of her own free will, but to have it be so apparent that she could not protect herself shamed her. She looked away. "Go on home, now, Vance. I've had worse, and this will heal."

"You think I would leave you now?" Her barely restrained wrath made Vance tremble. She jammed the gun back into her holster. "Even if I had no feelings for you, I would want to see to you."

Mae shuffled slowly to the bed and sat down on the edge. She felt sore all over from the pummeling, and her head throbbed mercilessly.

"There's nothing you can do."

"Motherless scum," Vance spat. "I'll kill him for this." She locked the door and shrugged out of her coat. Then she picked up the oil lamp and carried it into Mae's boudoir. She moved slowly, deliberately, tamping down her rage so as not to upset Mae further. She put the lamp on the dresser where the light would allow her to see Mae's face clearly.

"How many times did he hit you?"

"I don't know. I only remember the first time." Mae looked down at her hands, which she had folded in her lap. "I didn't see it coming."

"What happened?"

"He was waiting when I came back today."

"Who?" Vance asked, her tone lethally dark.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

Mae looked up. "Don't you realize that if you went after him, I would be the one to lose? He would kill you, and if he didn't, someone else would to revenge him." She caught Vance's hand and drew it to her uninjured cheek. She closed her eye and took comfort from the heat and strength of Vance's touch. "That would be worse than anything he's ever done or could do to me."

Vance knelt in front of Mae and brought Mae's hand to her lips.

She kissed each finger, then turned her hand over and kissed her palm.

"You can't ask me to stand by when someone does this to you."

"I do. I do ask it of you." Mae cupped Vance's chin and lifted her head until their eyes met. Vance's were as hard as ebony shards of glass.

"Don't let them really hurt me by hurting you."

"Oh, God," Vance groaned, closing her eyes. She'd gone to war believing that her skill and dedication would help right a terrible wrong, only to learn that she could do little more than add torment to agony.

Her reward for her sacrifice had been further loss and suffering. A raging fire burned inside her now to answer this injustice with violence.

Don't let them really hurt me by hurting you. Vance took a shuddering breath and leaned back on her heels. She opened her eyes and smiled faintly. "I want to have a look at you. I'll not add to your pain, I promise."

"I don't fear your touch," Mae said gently. "But I fear your temper in this, Vance."

"No, you needn't. I won't do anything that would hurt you. You have my word."

Mae laughed softly. "You're a smart and clever woman. My head doesn't hurt so much I've forgotten that. Promise me you won't go after him."

Vance's jaw tightened. "And you're a stubborn woman, Mae."

"Never denied it."

"I won't kill him with my own hands, which is what I want to do."

Vance stood, her expression growing hard. "That's all I'll promise for now."

"I know when I'll get no more." Mae smiled as much as she was able. "Thank you."

"Lie down now and let me look at you." Vance reached for the covers and pulled them back as Mae slowly slipped beneath them.

Once Mae was propped against the pillows, Vance sat carefully on the edge of the bed. "Tell me what happened."

Mae drew a breath and then, in a quiet, even tone, related the incident. As she spoke, Vance studied her face, keeping her own expression carefully blank. Mae had been hit hard enough to leave the imprint of knuckles on her cheekbone. Carefully, Vance palpated the thin rim of bone beneath the discolored and swollen eyelid, some of her tension easing when she felt no telltale grating that would have suggested fractures. She ran her fingers along the edge of Mae's jaw, searching for irregularities, and again, found none. With her thumb and index finger she delicately teased apart the eyelids that Mae could not open on her own. Blood streaked the white sclera, but the pupil was round and the cornea clear.

"Can you see me?" Vance asked tenderly.

"Yes, and you look mighty serious."

"I am." Vance leaned forward and kissed Mae's forehead. "How long were you unconscious?"

"I don't know for sure. Not long," Mae added hastily when she saw the muscles in Vance's jaw bunch. "It was still afternoon, so I don't think more than an hour."

"Any dizziness, ringing in your ears, weakness in your arms or legs?" Just asking the question was so painful it took Vance's breath away. When Mae answered in the negative, she was almost afraid to believe it. "You're sure?"

Mae stroked Vance's thigh. "Yes. I would tell you."

Vance lifted the tie on Mae's robe. "I need to examine the rest of you."

"He didn't get at the rest of me," Mae said tightly.

"How do you know what he did when you were unconscious?"

"I'd know."

"If you're uncomfortable with me seeing you, I can put up a screen so that you won't--"

"Lord, Vance," Mae said with a sigh. "It's not the way I want you to be looking at me, but I'm not delicate about it. I just don't want you to waste your ti--"

"I've got all night, and there's nothing I'd rather be doing than seeing to you."

"And you call me stubborn," Mae murmured, touched nevertheless.

She helped Vance open her robe. "He handled me a bit rough, but that's the worst of it. If I hadn't bit him, he most likely wouldn't have hit me."

"You should've shot the son of a bitch's balls off," Vance seethed.

"He left his goddamn fingerprints on your arms."

"If I could have and not brought more trouble down on me and the girls, I would have," Mae said forcefully.

"Who is this man?"

"I told you I wasn't going to give you his name, because some night when you've had an extra shot or two, you're likely to go after him."

"I promised you I wouldn't." Vance gently pressed Mae's abdomen.

"Does this hurt?"

"No. And I believe you. That you mean it, at least." Mae covered Vance's hand. "But sometimes we don't keep our promises because of well-meant intentions."

"Does he own the Golden Nugget?"

Mae sighed again. "Lord, you won't give up. I'm sure he doesn't."

She pressed her fingers to Vance's mouth. "And before you ask, I don't know who does."

"You must have some idea."

"I don't think there's but three or four people in this town with enough money or brains to back this kind of operation, but whoever it is is very careful to keep it a secret."

Vance nodded thoughtfully as she closed Mae's robe. Gently, she met Mae's eyes. "You're sure he didn't violate you."

"Yes," Mae replied, her voice suddenly thick with tears. She hadn't expected so much tenderness. Even as a child, when she had led a life that many would have found enviable, especially for the child of a servant, she had not known such care. "The way you treat me makes me feel...special."

"You are." Vance stood, released the leather tie that tethered her holster to her thigh, and unbuckled the belt. She set her holster on the bedstead and unbuttoned her trousers. Then she kicked off her boots and stepped out of her pants. She was aware of Mae watching her as she draped them over a chair. She kept her shirt and drawers on and walked to the side of the bed. "I'd like to stay the night."

"I...why?"

When Mae did not protest, Vance lifted the covers and settled beside her. She eased her right arm over Mae's shoulder, carefully settling Mae against her side. "Because I feel good when I hold you."

Mae wrapped her arm around Vance's waist and rested her uninjured cheek against Vance's chest. "I told Frank to tell you not to come up."

"He did."

"I'm glad you didn't listen."

Vance kissed Mae's forehead, then the corner of her mouth.

She kissed her gently, taking care not to brush the tender areas as she skimmed her lips over Mae's. She stroked her throat with her fingertips, then dipped beneath her robe to caress her breasts lightly. When she heard Mae's breath hitch and felt her tremble she stopped. "I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to--"

"You have the most wonderful touch." Mae held Vance's hand to her breast. "I love your hand there."

"Close your eyes," Vance whispered, softly caressing her again.

She rested her cheek against Mae's hair and breathed in her scent. She continued to hold her, stroking her shoulders, her arms, her breasts, until she was asleep. She lay awake listening to Mae's quiet breathing, absorbing the soothing rhythm of her heartbeat into her own chest. The rage was too potent to let her sleep, but the love would let her rest.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

When Mae awakened to the sensation of Vance beside her in bed, she stayed perfectly still so as not to disturb the wonder of the moment. Vance's body was hot and firm, and her fingers glided slowly up and down Mae's arm in a steady, mesmerizing rhythm.

Mae could tell she was awake from the quiet tension that suffused her body. Ordinarily, what Mae wanted more than anything else was for the person in her bed to leave her in peace. Now, she discovered that the presence of this particular woman delivered it to her.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Mae murmured as she fit her body more tightly to Vance's.

"Some," Vance lied. She'd taken far too much pleasure in gently caressing Mae as she'd slept to want to sleep herself. While the human body had always fascinated her in its miraculous construction and ingenious workings, she'd never before felt the kind of excitement that lying next to Mae had stirred in her. Mae's skin was so soft, the curve of her hips and breasts so graceful, the heat of her flesh so enticing that Vance had to struggle not to wake her with the urgency of her response.

She wanted more. She wanted to never stop touching her.

"You deliver some kind of personal service," Mae joked lightly, stretching to carefully kiss the corner of Vance's mouth.

"Only to you." Vance turned on her side and studied Mae's face in the early morning light. The unblemished portions of her face were beautiful. Pale, delicate skin over fine bones. Her bruises were even uglier in daylight, however, and fury tangled with tenderness. Vance shivered and lightly skimmed her fingertips over Mae's jaw. "How do you feel?"

"If I don't count the aches and pains, I've never felt better in my life."

Vance laughed. "I think my question has to do with those aches and pains."

Mae stroked the hair from Vance's forehead and kissed her softly.

"I've never opened my eyes next to anyone I've loved before. That's all I can feel right now."

Vance jerked and drew a swift breath. "Mae."

"Oh, I know women like me aren't supposed to have feelings like tha--"

"Don't, now." Vance stopped Mae's words with a kiss, mindful of her injuries even as she slicked her tongue hungrily inside the moist recesses of Mae's mouth. The dam she had not known she had erected to hold back her wants and needs was crumbling, and she was helpless to stem the rush of desire. She yanked her mouth away from Mae's, panting. "I'm aching for you." Shuddering, she closed her eyes. "So much."

"No need to stop," Mae whispered. She found Vance's hand and drew it inside her robe to her breast. When warm, strong fingers closed over her nipple, she whimpered.

"I'll hurt you," Vance groaned. "You don't know what I'm feeling."

She rested her forehead against Mae's, her eyes tightly closed. "I never thought to want anything, anyone, the way I want you. Even if you weren't injured, I'd be afraid."

Mae laughed quietly even as her body quickened. "Oh, sweetheart.

You think your touching me with caring will hurt me, ever?"

"I think if I do what I'm wanting to do right now, it might."

"Well then, why don't you do what I want you to do?"

Vance opened her eyes, her head thick with arousal. Mae's breast lay heavy in her hand and her green eyes shimmered, inviting her to touch, to take. Still, she had enough reason left to know she couldn't.

Not when the price of her pleasure would be Mae's pain. "I want to.

I don't know how good I'll be at it, but I'll do my best. But not until you're well."

"Oh, I think you'll do just fine," Mae said. The slow play of Vance's fingers over her breasts was nearly enough to carry her over, but she resisted the heavy swirl of passion between her thighs because there was something else she wanted more. "But just this minute it isn't you touching me I want."

Vance tensed. "I...I've never. With anyone."

"Mmm. I remember." Mae opened the top button on Vance's shirt.

Then she started on the second. "I've been thinking about that. How much I like being the first to touch you."

"I'm not...I wish..." Vance stilled Mae's hand. "I wish I were as beautiful as you. That I could be as pleasing to you as you are--"

"For a woman so smart," Mae said, tears brimming on her lashes, "you're just plain stupid about some things."

Vance grinned. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."

Mae parted Vance's shirt, exposing her small, perfectly formed breasts. "I can't but think of you and my knees go weak." She smoothed her hand across Vance's chest, tracing breast and nipple and scar tissue as if all were priceless gems. "I see that handsome face of yours and I get tight inside, needing you to touch me, wanting you to take me places no one else ever has." She looked into Vance's eyes, circling one red fingernail around Vance's nipple, then squeezing until Vance arched and groaned. "You're just exactly the kind of woman who pleases me."

"I can't think what with wanting you to keep touching me."

Vance's voice was tight, strained, nearly as tense as her body, which trembled with barely contained excitement. "I have this terrible need for you somewhere inside me."

Mae moaned softly. "Oh, I know. I know because I feel it, too."

She rested her cheek between Vance's breasts. "Hold me."

Vance circled Mae's shoulders and pulled her near, telling herself that this would be enough for now. Desperately hoping that her body would not betray her. She feared that Mae's embrace alone would be enough to ignite the powder keg of arousal that simmered so near to brimming over. She felt so close to slipping over the edge that the slightest brush of Mae's fingertips caused dangerous ripples of pleasure to dance along her thighs. She groaned and clenched her jaws tightly.

Urgently, she whispered, "Stop touching me now. Just let me get my senses back."

"Oh no. I plan to touch you senseless." Mae slid her hand beneath the waistband of Vance's drawers. "I want you to be still and let me."

Had she her other arm, Vance would have pulled Mae's hand from between her thighs where it had come to rest. As it was, one armed, she was too slow, and before she could protest, exquisite pleasure burst beneath Mae's ceaselessly caressing fingers. Had she been able to think enough to consider stopping, she couldn't have. Her body claimed its reward even as Mae claimed her heart. Her release started as a sweet fist in the pit of her stomach, then raged along her spine and down her legs, and finally exploded, burning all thought from her mind. She cried out, and then cried, her face buried in Mae's hair.

"Here now. Your heart's hammering like to burst," Mae marveled, her face still cradled against Vance's chest.

"It's about to break," Vance said unevenly, "from holding so much happiness."

"You don't have to hold it, sweetheart. There's lots more coming."

Mae was satisfied in a way she had never imagined. She had given true pleasure from the heart, two things she had never experienced before.

She felt full, sated, as if Vance's release had been her own. She wanted Vance's touch as much as ever, but for the moment, she was content. "I just couldn't wait any longer for you."

"I think it unfair," Vance said, her voice rusty from holding back the well of emotion that threatened to undo her, "that you have me at such a disadvantage." She tangled her fingers in Mae's hair and tilted her head back before gently kissing her eyelids, her bruised cheek, her mouth. "In that circumstances prevent me from taking my pleasure in you or returning what you have bestowed upon me."

"I consider it downright clever," Mae teased. "I'm hoping it will be enough to get you back again."

Suddenly serious, Vance said, "You can't think that a few moments of pleasure are all I seek?"

Mae grew still. "I don't like to think too much beyond the moment.

I've learned that hoping for something often leads to disappointment."

"And what is it that you hope for?" Vance stroked down the center of Mae's back to her hip, then over the curve of her body to her stomach.

She opened her fingers as if to encompass all of her in the palm of her hand. "Beyond today?"

Silently, Mae shook her head, fearing that putting words to her dreams would cause them to shatter.

"There was a time," Vance said quietly, "that I knew the shape of my future. I knew where I would live, what I would do. Who I would be. I did not know who or even if I would love, but knowing the other things made that loneliness bearable." She kissed Mae. "Now I am not certain who I am or what my future will be. But I know who I love. And that matters more than all the rest."

"I'm not the woman you should love," Mae whispered. "But I don't have it in me to tell you not to."

"How can you judge who I should love? Can you feel the pain in my heart that eases only when you touch me? Can you know the despair that lifts only when you smile?" Vance closed her eyes and rubbed her cheek against Mae's hair. "Can you imagine the loneliness that fades only when you're near?"

"Some of that I know," Mae said. "Because you give me that, too."

"I know that I come to you less than I once was," Vance tilted Mae's face up to hers with a fingertip beneath her chin, "and for that, I'm sorry."

Mae's eyes narrowed. "I still have that nice warm feeling that comes from loving you this way. But I can lose it pretty fast if you keep up that kind of talk. You might have thought you were more before you lost your arm. Before you lost your brother. Or your home, or your way of life. Maybe you were. I have no way of knowing. But I know who you are now. I see your strength, and your goodness, and your gentleness. That missing arm hurts me, but there's nothing about you that makes me wish for more."

Vance smiled crookedly. "Then I count myself extremely lucky."

"That's better." Mae sighed. "I hate for you to go, but I imagine the town is waking up about now. You can't be seen coming and going from my room at all hours."

"I have every intention of coming and going from your room whenever I am welcome." Vance made no move to get up and her voice had taken on an edge. "Which I hope is often."

"Lord, Vance. No matter what we are to each other, in the eyes of the townspeople we've no business being together. Two women, they might overlook. The town doctor and a whore? Never."

"I don't care what the opinion of others may be." Vance stirred with uneasiness. "Unless the anger is directed at you."

"What happened yesterday had nothing to do with you," Mae said quickly.

"Have you ever considered just leaving here? Giving this up?"

Mae laughed bitterly. "And what would I do? Even if I could leave my past behind, I have nothing with which to make a future. If I had, I wouldn't be here now."

Carefully, Vance said, "I have resources. I could lend you--"

"No," Mae said quickly. "I won't take money from you. Not now, not ever. What happens between us--"

"Has nothing to do with money," Vance said angrily. "You insult me to suggest that. And yourself."

Mae sat up, pulling the sheet above her breasts. "What am I to think, then?"

"That I care for you and want to help you. Or is it only I who should accept help without question?" Vance pushed up on the bed and started to button her shirt. "Is it only I who needs caring for?"

"No. No," Mae said softly. She stifled the urge to help Vance button her shirt. For her it would have been an act of love. For Vance, one of pity, and she would not risk that. "Tell me, then, what you're thinking."

Vance took a long breath and reined in her temper. When Mae reached over and tentatively began buttoning the rest of her buttons, she tilted her head back against the wall and sighed. "I was thinking I could help you buy a house or start a business or--buy coach fare to somewhere else."

"Leave here?"

"If that's what you wanted."

Mae stood up and fastened her robe. "You are lucky I don't have my gun, because if I did, I would likely shoot you."

"I can see that I've taken a misstep."

"A whole passel of them." Mae went to the sideboard, rinsed her face, and took her time drying off while she gathered her thoughts. She needed some distance from Vance because up close to her, her thoughts tended to scatter. "There are girls here who are my responsibility. If I'm gone, someone else will take my place. Someone who may not care any more for them than how much they can make in a night. Someone who may not care what's done to them if the price is right. I'll not have that on my conscience."

"I understand."

"Do you? I'm not sure that you really do." She took a breath and said quietly, "If not me here taking charge of things, someone else. If not Sissy and the others doing what they do here, then some other girls will come to do it. It's a part of life out here that isn't going away."

Vance stood, shook out her trousers, and stepped into them. She left her shirt out and went to the sideboard to wash as well. When she leaned back, towel in hand, her hair still dripping, she said, "You don't want to stop doing what you do."

"I wouldn't mind if I never had another stranger touch me," Mae said harshly. "But I have my independence, and I'm not starving, and those girls might have a chance for something more than I had."

"All right."

Mae frowned. "All right what?"

"There are brothels in St. Louis run by women who live in fine houses, who ride through town, day or night, in elegant carriages, and who are welcome in the best of company."

"That's St. Louis. I know about those places, but people out here aren't as accepting."

Vance shrugged. "Things change."

"That's not something you should count on."

Vance tucked in her shirt and buttoned her trousers. "The only thing I'm counting on is you."

With a shake of her head, Mae picked up Vance's holster and swung it around her narrow hips. "Hold still, now."

"I did that once for you already today," Vance murmured, circling Mae's waist and pulling her tight against her body. The crush of Mae's breasts against her chest stoked the urge to touch her that had not diminished since they'd lain together. She bit lightly at Mae's earlobe before skimming the rim of her ear with her tongue. "And look what happened then."

Mae sagged in Vance's embrace, the thunder of desire stealing her strength. "I see now what happens when you're feeling more yourself."

Vance laughed. "What?"

Mae spread her palms on Vance's back, cleaving to her, knowing that her passion would fuel Vance's. When she heard Vance gasp and felt her body twitch, she stepped away, a satisfied smile on her face.

"You get insufferably sure of yourself."

"Should I apologize?" Vance asked, her breath coming fast as her insides twisted with want.

"You come back one of these days--" Forcing herself to do the opposite of what her body screamed for her to do, Mae backed away.

"And we'll see."

"I promise you," Vance said, her eyes smoldering as she slung her coat over her shoulder and started for the door, "I intend to just as soon as I can."

There were other things she planned to do as well--things that for the moment, she did not intend to share.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Vance found Caleb in the midst of changing Jed's bandage.

She hung up her coat and went to help out.

"Morning," she said as she spooled out a thin strip of clean linen from a basin. She passed it to Caleb, who gently threaded it into the bullet tract to help facilitate drainage. She didn't expect an answer. His nod of greeting and distracted smile were enough. She leaned over to check Jed. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than I should be, I suppose, with the two of you poking at me the way you're doing."

Vance smiled. Jed's color was good and the wound itself showed no evidence of swelling or purulent drainage. If he went another day or so without signs of festering, he would have a very good chance of making a full recovery.

"Am I going home today?" Jed asked.

"I wouldn't want to be the one to stand in Jessie's way when she shows up here for you," Vance said dryly. She glanced to Caleb, who nodded. "Seems like you'll get plenty of care at home. And the food will probably be better."

Jed laughed carefully as Caleb reapplied his bandages. "That will surely be true if Miss Kate is cooking."

Caleb and Vance got Jed resettled and returned to the office. Caleb closed the door.

"I can't think of a single reason why that wound isn't a stinking mess right now," Caleb said, pacing to the window and staring aimlessly into the street. "Except for all that fussing you did with the instruments and that carbolic acid."

Vance joined him and said mildly, "Before the war, I spent six months in Europe with my father and brother visiting various medical clinics. I heard Dr. Lister speak about his theories concerning contamination as a cause for wound purulence. It seems to make sense."

"I don't know if it makes sense or not, but if it gets results, I don't much care." Caleb frowned. "So tell me what I should be doing. Never mind the why, I don't have time for it."

"Well," Vance said, suppressing a smile, "here's what I recommend."

They were deep in conversation when Jessie and Kate came through the door.

"How is Jed?" Jessie asked immediately, looking from Caleb to Vance.

"Better," Caleb said with satisfaction. He started toward the dispensary. "He's not going to be able to walk to the wagon. I'll help you get him on a litter." Over his shoulder, he added, "Vance, why don't you go over with Kate what she'll need to do about the bandages."

"Right." Vance smiled at Kate and reviewed with her the routine for twice-daily bandage changes. "The most important thing is to look out for signs that the wound is festering. Is all that clear?"

"Yes. I understand."

"You're getting quite a lot of practice with treatment these days."

"It's wonderful," Kate enthused. "Jessie and I talked about the midwifery last night. I want you to know that I'm serious about learning."

"I never thought otherwise." Vance hesitated. "I could teach you medicine, Kate. Most medicine is still learned in apprenticeship, not school. Or you could spend a few months back East at one of the colleges, and then apprentice with me."

"I've thought of it. Jessie and I even spoke of it." Kate smiled. "I think what you do is amazing and so important." She glanced toward the partially opened door where a murmur of voices could be heard.

"If I'd never come here, if I'd never met Jessie, I might want to do something like that. But I'm happy already with my life. I want to be a midwife. You said yourself it's something the people here need."

"That's true."

"It's what I need, too."

Vance nodded, thinking about choices that were made because they were right and not merely expected. She thought about her own choices and knew that she would make the same ones again. She would go to war with Victor because she believed it was right. She might have come to New Hope because she'd given up choosing, but she planned to stay because it was what she wanted. What she needed. She thought of Mae, and smiled. Yes, just what she needed.

"Once Jed is settled, I'll take you out with me so you can get acquainted with your future patients. That way, they'll know that we're working together and that you'll be looking in on them from time to time," Vance said. "All right?"

Kate nodded vigorously. "Oh yes. That would be just perfect."

Jessie returned in time to hear Kate's pleased exclamation. She imagined Kate and Vance were talking about Kate's schooling again.

When Kate turned to her with shining eyes, Jessie smiled. "I'm going to go get some things the doc says we'll need, and then we can go."

"I'll walk with you," Vance said quickly.

Surprised, Jessie nodded. "Come on along."

There was something in Vance's expression that told Kate she wanted to talk to Jessie alone. Kate squeezed Jessie's arm briefly. "You go ahead. I want to say hello to Jed and talk to Caleb for a minute."

"All right." Jessie nodded to Vance and they stepped outside and into the street. "Something on your mind?"

Vance skirted the edge of a quagmire in the center of the street that was left over from the most recent rain. "What do you know about the Golden Nugget?"

"Besides the obvious?" Jessie nodded to a passerby and waited until they were out of earshot. "Not much. It's been the Nugget pretty much as long as I can remember. I think there was a time it was called something else, but the purpose was the same."

"You know who owns it?" Vance saw no reason to be circumspect with Jessie. Kate and Jessie and Mae were friends. From the fond looks that passed between Jessie and Mae, she had wondered on occasion if perhaps they had once been more than friends. She found it did not bother her as much now to think of it. In fact, she was glad if Mae had been with someone who appreciated her, and she imagined that Jessie would have.

Jessie glanced sideways at Vance, then straight ahead. She'd yet to be able to read anything behind the doctor's set expression. "The only one I've ever seen giving orders in the place is Frank, but I don't actually know that he owns it."

"Let's say he doesn't. Who might?"

Jessie slowed as they neared the general store, settled her back against a post facing the street, and set her boot heel on the edge of the raised board walkway. Vance draped her arm over the hitching rail, leaned against it, and crossed her ankles. Anyone watching would have thought they were just two friends out for a leisurely stroll.

"It would take some money," Jessie said thoughtfully. "Thaddeus Schroeder--he owns the newspaper along with Kate's father--might have enough. He's been here almost as long as the town has. He's a family man, though, and seems decent. I can't quite see him behind the Nugget."

"Caleb would have the resources as well," Vance said, "but I think that unlikely, too."

"There's Wallace Fitzpatrick--he owns the lumber and supply yard, and Mason at the bank." Jessie shrugged. "There might be one or two more, but I'd just be guessing."

"What about the land title office? You think anything might be recorded there?"

"Deeds are usually printed in the newspaper, but I don't know how far back those records go." Jessie studied Vance. "Kate might be able to tell you that, but if there is some trouble brewing, I don't want her a part of it."

Vance tightened her jaw and said nothing. It had been a long time since she'd confided in anyone. Since Milton--and Victor. The silence grew, and she knew that Jessie would not question her. If she gave no explanation for her concerns, she would be making a statement as to the limits of the friendship forming between them. "Whoever owns the place has a hired man to oversee it." Her words came out hard on the wave of her fury. "He took after Mae yesterday. Left bruises on her face and her arms."

"Bastard," Jessie swore.

"Yes."

"And you want to go after him?"

Vance met Jessie's hard blue gaze. "Wouldn't you?"

Wordlessly, Jessie nodded.

"Mae got me to promise I wouldn't," Vance said wryly. "I'm still not sure how that came about."

"I'll wager she worked it around to her being hurt if you went off and got yourself killed."

Vance laughed softly. "Something like that."

"The problem is, they're right. And if something happened to Kate, I wouldn't last."

"You and Kate," Vance said carefully. "People here don't make a fuss?"

Jessie grimaced. "Well, Kate's parents did. But most folks keep to their own business and let others mind theirs."

"I didn't promise Mae I wouldn't go after whoever's behind things. He as much gave his permission for this bastard to do what he wanted with the women at the Nugget."

"I'll ask around."

"I don't want you to put yourself in any jeopardy," Vance said quickly. "Any information you might--"

"Mae means something to me, too," Jessie said, her voice tight.

"I'll see what I can find out."

Vance nodded curtly. "Thanks."

v "I'll come by this evening to take you back to town," Vance said three days later when she turned the buggy into the lane to Kate and Jessie's ranch. "It will probably be close to suppertime when I've seen to these calls."

"You don't need to be driving me around, you know," Mae said.

"Lord knows, you spend enough time traipsing over the countryside.

Have you been to bed at all in the last few days?"

Vance squinted in the bright sunlight. Her eyes felt gritty and she was tired, but having Mae beside her on a beautiful early summer morning seemed to infuse her with an energy she hadn't felt since before the war. "It's been one of those weeks when everyone seems to feel poorly at the same time. I've had a chance to nap a time or two."

"I won't mind if you come to visit late at night, you know," Mae said.

"I'm not sure how much sleep I'd get, in that case."

Mae flushed despite the wide-brimmed, feathered hat that protected her face from the sun. The deep green was a shade darker than her eyes and matched her silk dress. "That might depend on just how tired you really were."

Grinning, Vance jumped down and came around to Mae's side of the buggy. "That's one thing I don't seem to feel when I'm around you." She circled Mae's waist as she stepped down to the running board and swung her off and around to the ground, taking advantage of their closeness to brush her lips over Mae's cheek. "You look beautiful."

"Have I managed to cover the bruises?" Mae asked quietly.

Vance's heart twisted with sympathy and anger. "Yes. You needn't feel embarrassed by something that was not your fault."

"It's pride, I suppose." Mae waved as Kate came to the door of the ranch house. "But I don't have much more than that."

"You have the strength to make hard choices," Vance said as they walked toward the house. She kept her hand on Mae's back, in the hollow just above her hips, enjoying the way Mae's body moved beneath her fingers. "And you take responsibility for those young girls, when no one else, not even their families, is willing to. That's honorable."

"Hush," Mae whispered. "Your brain's getting soft from lack of sleep."

Vance laughed as she and Mae climbed up to the porch.

"Hello," Kate called, pushing loose strands of hair back from her face. The kitchen was still warm from the baking she had done early that morning, and the breeze felt wonderful against her hot skin. She regarded Mae and Vance fondly, thinking that when Vance laughed, she looked far younger than Kate had suspected. "I've got coffee on, if you'd like some."

"I'm afraid I can't stay," Vance said. "Mrs. Emerson sent word that all five of her children are complaining of stomachaches. And that's just the first of a long list." She smiled at Kate. "And before you ask, no, I'm not making any stops today on our expectant mothers. Plan on coming around with me again the day after tomorrow."

"Yes," Kate replied eagerly. "I will."

Mae touched Vance's hand in a fleeting caress as Vance stepped away. "Be careful today."

"I will. I'll see you later." She touched the brim of her black felt hat. "Kate."

"Supper's at six and I'm making chicken and biscuits." Kate took Mae's arm as she fixed Vance with a stern look. "And I expect you to be here to help eat it."

"Then I certainly shall," Vance said with a small bow.

Mae watched Vance walk down the porch, climb into the buggy, and drive away. "She looks tired," she murmured anxiously.

"She looks happy," Kate said softly. "I don't think I've ever seen her look that way before. It's nice."

"I suppose if she were made of straw she wouldn't have come through all she has," Mae said with a sigh. "Silly of me to worry."

"Come inside and have something to drink. Jed's asleep, so we don't need to hurry." As she led Mae through to the kitchen, she said gently, "And it's natural to worry about someone you love."

"Why, I never said--"

Laughing, Kate held out her hand. "Here, give me your things, then sit down and we'll have some tea. And you didn't need to say. You just have to look at her and it shows."

"I'll have to be more careful."

"Why?" Kate sat down across from Mae and regarded her seriously.

"You can't think Vance would mind?"

"Maybe not, but I imagine there's a fair number of people who would."

Kate took Mae's hand. "I know you could stand up to whatever might be said, and I'm sure Vance can. And if the look on Vance's face this morning means anything, she needs you to keep looking at her just the way you do."

"Lord, Kate. Feelings sure do complicate things."

"They do. Especially when they're wonderful." She sat back and worried her lower lip with her teeth for a second. Then she said quietly, "Anyone who doesn't know you as well as I do wouldn't have noticed, but I can see that someone's hurt you. What happened?"

Mae flushed for the second time in just a few minutes, this time with embarrassment. "Nothing to trouble yourself about."

Kate's dark eyes snapped. "Our friendship is very important to me. I'll not have you minimize it by thinking I shouldn't care about what happens to you."

"I..." Mae took an unsteady breath and smiled wanly. "I'd almost forgotten how stubborn you are. I won't even try to convince you it's not something you need to know about."

"Good. That's showing sense." Kate smiled tenderly. "Tell me."

Mae relayed the essentials of the event while leaving out much of the horror. "He won't catch me not paying attention again. And the next time, I won't worry about who else might be coming along if something happens to him. I'll just put a few holes where he'll be sure to feel them."

"Good." Kate's expression was grim. "I think it's terrible that you should have to worry about someone like him hurting you or the girls."

Mae studied her curiously. "But you don't think it's terrible that we're whores?"

Kate looked surprised. "Terrible? Of course not."

"How is it that a young girl from Boston has such a different way of looking at things than most folks do?"

"I think," Kate said, "it's because I'm different. Loving Jessie and knowing that some people would say I shouldn't--that makes me look at what people call right a little more carefully."

"Vance doesn't seem to set a lot of store in what people say about her."

"Well, it seems that you're outnumbered, then."

Mae laughed. "Seems so."

"Does Vance know what happened?" Kate asked carefully.

"She knows, and it was all I could do to keep her from rushing off to settle scores."

"I imagine." Kate knew that Jessie would behave precisely the same. And if anyone raised a hand to Jessie, so would she.

"It's a rare thing, being cared for that way." Mae shook her head.

"I thought I'd run out of that kind of luck."

Kate smiled. "I'd say all four of us are lucky."

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Jessie pushed away from the table with a sigh. "Lord, Kate. I'm going to get spoiled eating your cooking. It will be a chore swallowing what passes for food out on the trail."

Kate gave her a sharp look. "Is that going to be sometime soon?"

"I expect before long I'll have to see where the herds have wandered off to after all this rain," Jessie said vaguely.

"I thought you were going to wait for Jed to recover so he could go with you."

"That will be some time yet, I imagine," Jessie said. "What do you think, Vance?"

Vance, seated across the wide oak table, nodded as she looked from Kate to Mae, who sat beside her. "He's doing very well, largely due to the fine care from you two these last few weeks. But he's still a ways away from riding."

Kate kept her gaze on Jessie. "Can it wait until then?"

"It depends on what the linemen have to say about the state of things. Charlie will be down from the high country in a day or two.

I'll know better then." Jessie glanced at Vance. "I've got a good saddle horse out in the barn. With all the riding you're doing, you might want to have a look at him."

After a second's hesitation, Vance stood. "You're right. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I can't keep using Caleb's or paying the liveryman every time I need a mount."

"Let's take a walk and I'll show him to you."

Mae watched the two of them leave the room, Vance in her white shirt and trousers and Jessie in dusty denim and a sun-bleached blue cotton pullover. "I'm not so sure why I ever thought they were different.

Times like this, I can't tell them apart."

"Yes," Kate said thoughtfully. "What do you think they're up to?"

Laughing, Mae shook her head. "Something too dangerous for us, I'll wager."

"Of course." Kate smiled fondly. "I'll torture it out of her later."

"A wonderful idea."

v Kate snuggled up against Jessie, wrapping an arm and a leg around her body for comfort more than warmth. "Mmm, you smell like hay and sunshine."

Jessie laughed. "I think you just said I resemble a barnyard. You want me to get a wash before we go to sleep?"

"You smell," Kate said, kissing Jessie soundly for emphasis, "healthy and strong and I like it."

"Lucky for me," Jessie murmured, gently guiding Kate on top of her body. She kissed the tip of Kate's chin, then her mouth, sliding both hands into Kate's long dark hair. She sighed her appreciation as she nibbled at Kate's lower lip.

Kate kissed her for as long as she dared, basking in the warmth of Jessie's embrace and the tender, persistent demands of her hands and her mouth. She lifted her face away just short of the point where she would be helpless to stop, smiling at Jessie's groan of protest. Her face felt hot and her body shimmered to the call of Jessie's desire. "Did you and Vance settle on the price of a horse?"

"What?" Jessie asked, her voice and expression befuddled. She caught the ribbon at the neck of Kate's nightgown in her fingers and tugged it loose. When she went to slide her hand beneath the soft cotton, to Kate's softer breast, Kate laughed and twisted away. Jessie frowned.

"Wha...what?"

"You remember. You and Vance and the trip to the barn." Jessie looked so adorable in the glow of the firelight, edgy and confused and wanting, that Kate was fast losing her curiosity about Jessie and Vance's conversation.

"Kate." Jessie blinked. Her vision had already gone blurry the way it did when loving Kate got her insides all jittery and jumpy. She half sat up, holding Kate to her with one strong arm wrapped around her shoulders as she delved beneath her nightgown and lifted Kate's breast into her palm. She rubbed her mouth over the swiftly tightening nipple. "I can't make sense of anything right now."

"Oh," Kate sighed, cleaving to her, body to body, and went back to kissing Jessie where she had left off. When Jessie groaned and rolled her over, pinning her to the bed, Kate had already forgotten everything except Jessie's touch. She wanted to close her eyes and drift on the warm cloud of pleasure that built as Jessie kissed and stroked her way from Kate's throat to her breasts and lower, but she watched Jessie love her as long as she could. When Jessie murmured her name and took her with her mouth, Kate let passion steal the last of her reason.

When Jessie murmured her name again a few minutes later, her cheek pillowed on Kate's stomach, Kate stroked her damp hair and face. Contentedly, she whispered, "You drive every thought from my head."

"You were wanting to know something earlier," Jessie said drowsily. Pleasing Kate always set her off, like putting a match to dry tinder. The very sound of Kate's pleasure fired her own. Her head was still reeling and her legs felt heavy as iron. She didn't think she could move just then if the house went up in flames.

"What?" Kate asked dreamily, sifting strands of golden hair between her fingers. "Oh. I was wondering what you and Vance had to say that required a trip to the barn after supper."

Laughing softly, Jessie gathered all her willpower and managed to move a foot up the bed. She lay on her side and faced Kate. The firelight made her black hair shine and her skin rosy. "You look beautiful right after we've been loving."

Kate smiled lazily. "I feel beautiful."

Jessie rested her cheek in the bend of her arm and reveled in Kate's happiness, trying to imagine what it would be like if somebody put bruises on Kate's face the way they had done to Mae. Her stomach tightened until it ached, and her mind shied away from the image, but she forced herself to consider Mae's pain and Vance's helpless rage. "I love you."

The fervor in her voice bordered on sorrow, and, alarmed, Kate stroked her face. "What is it, darling?"

"I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

"Nothing's going to happen to me." Kate pulled Jessie's head to her breast and held her fiercely. "What's wrong?"

"You saw Mae's face."

Kate closed her eyes. "Yes."

"Did she tell you about it?"

"Yes."

"It's ripping Vance up inside." With a sigh, Jessie sat up with her back against the smooth plank headboard and pulled Kate into her arms, tucking Kate's head beneath her chin. With her free hand she reached down and drew the covers over them both. The fire was waning, and a chill crept in from the edges of the room. "She asked me a few weeks back, right after it happened, if I knew who owned the Nugget."

Kate's hand tightened on Jessie's shoulder. "She wants to punish whoever hurt Mae."

"Of course."

"Jessie," Kate said urgently. "If you get mixed up in this, it could be dangerous."

Jessie tilted her head back and looked down into Kate's face. "It's wrong, Kate."

"Oh, I know. I know." Kate struggled with the anxiety that rushed up into her throat, making her breath come fast and shallow. She would never get over watching Jessie almost die. She remembered the blood that covered the wagon bed, the deathly pallor of Jessie's face, the stillness in her body as life had drained away. "I can't have you getting hurt. I can't."

"We're a pair," Jessie murmured, kissing Kate's forehead.

"You can't take on men like that with force, Jessie."

"We aren't planning something like that, Kate. We aren't planning anything at all." Jessie rubbed her hand in steady circles over Kate's back. "Vance just wants someone to talk to about it."

"Don't tell me that's all she wants."

Jessie shrugged. "She wants to know who's accountable."

"And what's your part?"

"I just asked a few questions to see if anyone knew whose place it was, but when you put it right to folks, no one does."

"And you think that will satisfy Vance?"

"Probably not." Jessie chuckled. "I think she's of a mind to watch the place at night, to see if she can find him."

"Oh, she'll be in trouble if Mae finds out," Kate said vehemently.

"You're not going to tell her, are you?"

"No, because you're going to talk some sense into Vance." Kate thumped Jessie's chest for emphasis. "It won't do Mae any good if Vance gets hurt."

"I know." Jessie shifted restlessly. "But damn, it doesn't seem fair."

"It isn't. For either of them. And I do think we should try to find out who's responsible."

"We?"

"You don't think I'm going to just stand by and watch, do you?"

She sat up and held Jessie's gaze for emphasis.

"Here I thought I was doing the right thing telling you what was going on, when I should've kept quiet." Jessie pushed a hand through her hair in frustration.

Kate laughed quietly and caught Jessie's hand. She rubbed Jessie's knuckles against her cheek. "You did exactly the right thing. Trying to protect me by keeping things from me will only drive us apart."

"I'm trying to work my way around to believing that."

"I know you are." Kate settled back down into Jessie's arms. "And I know it isn't easy for you."

"I wouldn't want something like my stubbornness to come between us."

"No," Kate said gently. "It's not stubbornness. I love the way you love me, and I don't ever want you to change. Just sometimes, you have to let me help you, too."

"Don't you know that you're what gets me through every day?"

Jessie asked incredulously. "Before you came along, I was starting to wonder what my life was really all about. Working, living, always doing, but at the end of the day, there was still something missing."

She eased down into the bed with a sigh of contentment. "Now there isn't."

Kate turned on her side and drew Jessie against her back, settling the arm that Jessie clasped around her middle between her breasts.

She understood now the difference between existing and living. This connection they shared, unique beyond all others, was the essence of her life. As she lay waiting for sleep to come, satisfied in body and heart, she thought of Mae and Vance and what she might do to help them find the safety of one another's arms.

************

Vance brought the buggy to a halt behind the Golden Nugget but made no move to get down. Instead, she turned on the seat and put her arm around Mae's waist, drawing her close. It was well after dark, and in the shadows, no one would take them for anything other than a man and a woman stealing a few moments of passion. She kissed Mae, a slow lingering exploration that deepened and grew more desperate until Mae circled her shoulders and pulled Vance down nearly on top of her.

"Mae," Vance warned, reluctantly pulling away when awareness finally penetrated the desire clouding her senses. "I've precious little control where you're concerned as it is. You must help me maintain command of myself."

Mae laughed, stroking Vance's face with shaking fingers. "And all this time I've been trying to do just the opposite."

"Ever since the night we lay together," Vance said, straightening up but keeping her hold on Mae, "I can't think of much else."

"I thought I was long past hoping for anything but a few minutes of kindness in bed," Mae murmured, sliding her hand inside Vance's coat to rest on her stomach. "But lying next to you has made me want a lot more than that."

Vince groaned softly and kissed Mae's neck. Mae's skin was cool beneath her fevered lips, and her belly tightened under Mae's softly caressing fingers. "I never knew what to hope for. Now I do, and...sometimes when I'm out riding, and I'm so tired I fear I won't make it to the next place on my list, I think of you. Then I forget about everything except how much I want you, and it carries me through."

"Oh," Mae gasped. "Come upstairs with me now."

"I can't. I expect there'll be messages for me at the office. This stomach ailment that's going around has half the town in bed," Vance said in frustration. "I still have calls left over from today. I don't think I'll be done before morning."

"I want you to come to me no matter the time," Mae insisted.

"I suspect the sun will be up by then." Vance laughed. "And I will be no more presentable than a barnyard rooster at that point. I think I had better wait for the laundry to open so that I can collect my clean clothes."

Mae fondled the buttons on Vance's shirt. "You need new clothes, not clean ones. It's time to get you out of these borrowed clothes and into your own."

"I decided after a few months in the army that my days of standing on a seamstress's platform were over," Vance said carefully. "Dresses never did suit me, even before I needed to spend my day in the saddle or a buggy."

"Oh, you can't think that's what I was suggesting?" Mae brushed her fingers through Vance's short, thick, unruly hair. "Oh no. I'm taking you to the tailor tomorrow to be fitted for proper trousers and shirts."

"I...do you think he will?" Vance asked uncertainly.

"Of course he will. As long as you intend to pay him."

"I thought I would just get something from the general store when I had time."

"They don't have much in the way of ready-made clothes, and what they do have would never fit you properly." Mae kissed Vance lightly. "No, I'll enjoy dressing you."

A shiver of wholly unexpected anticipation raced down Vance's spine and she groaned softly, eliciting further laughter from Mae. "You please me in ways I never imagined."

"I must go in," Mae said regretfully. "It's getting late, and I'll be missed." She kissed Vance again, both hands clasped behind Vance's neck. Breathlessly, she brushed her mouth over Vance's ear. "And if I stay here, I will need your hand on me very soon."

"Please, have you no mercy?"

"Where you're concerned?" Mae stepped down onto the running board. "None at all."

Laughing, Vance jumped down to assist her, not because Mae needed her arm, but because it pleased her to offer it. She was astounded and grateful that Mae understood that. She walked Mae to the stairs, suddenly loath to let her go. She knew what awaited Mae inside, and the image of fresh bruises on Mae's face caused a cold sweat to break out on her forehead.

"If he comes around again and I'm not here--"

"Vance, I'll not have you worry--"

"If he touches you again, kill him." Vance shivered as the thunder of cannon and hundreds of marching men closed in around her. "Don't wait. Fire first."

Mae studied Vance in the hazy yellow light that flickered from the windows above them, watching long-ago ghosts dance over her stark, haunted face. She took her hand, pulled her against the building, out of sight of the street, and framed her face with both hands. "Vance. Don't go back."

"It's all right," Vance said hoarsely, fighting back the mists of memory. "I'm here." She put her hand on Mae's waist and rested her forehead against Mae's. "I have nothing to go back to and everything to stay for."

"I'll be careful. Promise me that you will be, too." Mae pressed her fingers to Vance's mouth, then stepped away and started up the stairs. When she was out of touching range, she turned. "I love you, so you be sure to be here in the morning."

Vance pressed her hand to her heart. "You have my word."