Purgatory

DAY 51 – FRIDAY 7 SEPTEMBER 2001

5.39 am

I have now been a resident of Wayland for a month, and Sergio will return to Colombia in a couple of weeks’ time. So with a bit of luck he’ll be deported around the same time as I’m being transferred to a D-cat. But will I also be in possession of an emerald?

9.00 am

Gym. Friday is special needs group, and my four new friends Alex, Robbie, Les and Paul shake hands with me as they come through the gate. Again all four display different talents during the training session. Les can now complete 1,650 metres on the rowing machine in ten minutes, but can only manage one mile an hour on the treadmill, whereas Paul can do five miles an hour on the running machine, but can’t catch a ball. Robbie can catch anything, but hates all the machines, so only does weight training.

The instructors rightly tell us to play to their strengths, which results in much clapping and laughter, along with a huge sense of achievement.

Jimmy handles them better than anyone. He remembers all their names (over twenty came this morning) and they feel he’s a real friend. He’d make a great PE teacher, but I have a feeling that once he’s released the lure of easy money may be more attractive. He says he’ll never deal in drugs again, but I wonder.

6.00 pm

Exercise. Cancelled because it’s raining.

7.00 pm

Sergio calls his brother in Bogota, but the line is engaged.

7.05 pm

Sergio comes to my cell and continues his tutorial on the history of Colombia. The political system is not unlike that of the United States with a president, vice-president, Senate and Congress. However, there are two big differences: the president and vice-president have to come from different parties, one conservative, one liberal – Colombia’s idea of democracy – whereas in truth the president has all the power. The other big difference is that even a senator requires four bodyguards. Sergio tells me that one presidential candidate had forty bodyguards when he delivered a speech in Bogota, and was still assassinated.

7.20 pm

Sergio tries his brother again. Still engaged.

7.23 pm

Sergio continues his lecture, explaining that the violence in his country makes it necessary for any presidential candidate to have an accommodation with the guerrillas or the Mafia or the army, or all three. We sometimes forget how fortunate we are in Britain. Our politicians only have to deal with the trade unions, the CBI – and Messrs Paxman and Humphreys.

7.35 pm

Sergio tries his brother again. Still engaged.

7.40 pm

According to Sergio, the civil service remains the only untainted profession. Although his brother is an adviser to several ministers, he doesn’t need a bodyguard because it is accepted that he will never take a bribe from either the Mafia, the guerrillas or the army. The countryside, he assures me, is beautiful and the beaches that face both the Pacific and the Atlantic rival any that can be found in America or Europe. And as for the women…