Purrfect Obsession. Purrfect Betrayal. Purrfectly Clueless

“So do you think he liked liked her?” I asked.

“Liked liked her?”

“Did he like her the way he likes your mistress?”

“Oh, you mean did they kiss and hug and lie on top of each and make strange noises?”

I winced at the mental image.“Yeah, exactly like that.”

“I don’t think so,” said August, “though that’s exactly what Abbey accused him of just now. They had a huge fight when she discovered him staring at those pictures. She said he was having an affair, whatever that’s supposed to mean, and that’s why he was so sad she was dead. And then he said she was full of crap and he cried some more. Humans, right? They’re so weird.”

“So did he? Have an affair with Kimberlee?”

“If Abbey said it, it must be true. She’s a sharp cookie, my mistress.”

“But you never saw him with Kimberlee, right?”

“Hey, man. I’m not my master’s keeper. I don’t know what he gets up to when I’m not around.”

“One final question. This is very important, August. Do you think someone may have murdered Kimberlee? Your master, maybe? Or your mistress?”

The Chihuahua stared at me with his big brown eyes. I could tell this was a tough one.“Murdered her? But I thought she murdered herself?”

“It’s possible she was murdered by someone else.”

“Which is why it’s called murder,” Dooley explained.

“I know what murder is, cat,” he said.

“So? Could Abbey or her husband have killed Kimberlee?”

“Oh, sure,” said August. “Only they didn’t, did they? Cause she killed herself.”

Abbey gave the leash a yank.“Come along, August,” she snapped. Then she saw us and frowned. “Weird,” she muttered. “Now I’m seeing cats.”

Then she walked off, her little doggie tripping behind her.

“See ya later, cats!” August cried, and then he was gone.

“That was a big flop,” I said.

“At least we have one suspect,” said Dooley. “Abbey? If her husband was having an affair with Kimberlee, she had a motive to get rid of the woman.”

“Right you are, Dooley,” I said. Dang it. Soon Dooley was going to become lead feline investigator, with me as his funny and slightly ridiculous sidekick!

Chapter 25

We returned to the house, after ascertaining there were no more canine witnesses to be interviewed, and for a moment just sat there, trying to figure out our next move. Or at least I thought about our next move, while Dooley merely stared at a giant pile of Coke cans. They were called Coke Emerald, for some reason, and appeared to be some kind of special edition.

“I wonder if the Coca-Cola Company will ever make a Coke for cats,” said Dooley.

“Personally I don’t care for the taste,” I said. “Too fizzy.”

“Yeah, they should probably invent a fizzy-less Coke if they want to appeal to the feline demographic.”

“Or you could open a can and leave it out for a couple of hours. That takes care of the fizziness.”

We shared a glance.“Yuck,” we said simultaneously.

I’d tried Coke once, when Uncle Alec, in exuberant mood, had first let me have a sip of beer—double yuck—and then a sip of Coke. Ugh. No way.

“They say Coke can turn a rusty nail into a regular nail,” said Dooley. “So if a human has a rusty nail in his stomach, and drinks a lot of Coke, it will eventually turn into a regular nail.”

“Why would a human swallow a rusty nail?”

“Beats me,” said Dooley, “but that’s what I heard Tex tell Marge once.”

Humans. They’re so weird.

We moved through the house, and up the stairs. My immediate goal was to talk to Kimberlee’s dog Stevie, the one who’d been in the room with her when it happened. If anyone would know what went down, it was him.

Thinking logically, Stevie would be in the custody of Kimberlee’s boyfriend, who presumably would have been given a different room. We stood at the top of the stairs and stared down the long hallway. There were a lot of rooms, and of course they all had their doors closed.

“We’ll have to play this by ear,” I said.

“Whose ear?” asked Dooley.

“Any ear. We need to improvise.”

“Don’t we always?”

We did. It’s nice to be able to tell people you have some kind of plan when you’re working a case, but the fact of the matter is that your true sleuth mostly relies on his gut. And since I had the largest gut, I usually got to decide.

So I put my ear against door after door, then sniffed the floor hard. You may not know this, but cats have amazing sense of smell, and hearing—a lot more powerful than any human. And that’s what I was putting to work for me now: we needed to find this pooch and by golly we were going to find him.

“I think he’s in here, Max,” said Dooley. “I smell pooch.”

“I smell pooch, too,” I said. “Let the games begin.”

And we both started meowing at the top of our lungs. Anyone familiar with our capacity for yowling knows it can be both piercing and extremely annoying. It didn’t take long, therefore, for the door to be yanked open and a wiry-looking human with a tan face to appear. He first looked left and then right, before finally looking down. Classic mistake. By the time he looked down, we’d already slipped between his legs and into the room.

Dooley and I spread out, in search of the mutt Stevie.

“Got him!” said Dooley from the other room.

We were in a nice-looking suite, with separate bedroom, living space and bathroom. The dog was in the bedroom, lying on a four-poster bed and looking sadly at a picture of his mistress that stood perched on the nightstand.

The wiry-looking man with the tan face, meanwhile, muttered something about morons and slammed the door shut. He never even saw us, the doofus.

“Hey there,” I said as I jumped up on the bed.

“Hey yourself,” said Stevie, wiping away a tear. To my surprise, Stevie was a she, and not a he. A tawny-colored Brussels Griffon with a well-groomed mustache and beard and looking at me with intelligent eyes.

“Hi,” said Dooley, now also jumping up on the bed and joining us.

“Hey,” said the Ewok lookalike.

“We’re detectives,” I said by way of introduction, “and we’re investigating the possible murder of your mistress Kimberlee.”

Stevie uttered a stifled sob at this.“Kimberlee. Oh, how I’m going to miss her.” She directed a sad look at the framed picture and burst into tears.

“We’re very sorry for your loss, by the way,” said Dooley. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose your human like that.”

She gave Dooley an appreciative look.“Thanks,” she said softly.

I hadn’t even thought of offering my condolences. Instead I’d just barged in and was about to launch into a barrage of questions. Rude. Rude and tactless.

“She was a wonderful person,” said Stevie. “The best. Hard to believe she would do this to herself. She had so much to live for. This is a sad, sad day.”

“That’s the thing,” I said, seeing my opening. “We think she may not have done this to herself. We think she may have been murdered. And we were hoping you could help us figure out who killed her.”

“You were there, right?” said Dooley.

“I was,” said Stevie sadly. “I was there until the bitter end.”

“So can you tell us a little bit about what happened?” I asked.

“There’s not much to tell. I was in the next room, napping and dreaming of rabbits.”

“Do dogs often dream of rabbits?” asked Dooley, interested.

“Not now, Dooley,” I said.

“So I was lying in my basket, dreaming of rabbits and birds.”

“Birds?” asked Dooley. “That’s a coincidence. I dream of birds, too. Like, every night. And sometimes during the day, too. What kind of birds?”

“Dooley,” I said warningly.

“So I was lying in my basket, dreaming of rabbits and birds and cats—”

Dooley opened his mouth to say something, but he caught my eye and shut up.

“Carry on,” I said kindly. “You dreamed of rabbits and birds and cats and then what happened?”

“Well, then Kimberlee had a visitor. I didn’t hear them come in, only woke up when I heard voices. They were chatting about this and that—I didn’t really pay attention. Humans are always gabbing on and on and you kinda lose interest after a while.” She sniffed. “If only I’d paid more attention, she might still be alive.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, you can’t think that way,” said Dooley.

“So they talked and then this person left, cause they stopped talking, and then there was a strange noise. Like steam escaping from a kettle. And when curiosity overcame my laziness, and I finally tripped into the other room, there she was, lying on the floor, writhing about in some sort of agony. I quickly hurried up to her, desperate to help, but she’d already stopped moving. I started yapping like crazy, hoping someone would come. Someone must have heard, for there was a tapping on the door, but of course they couldn’t get in—the door was locked.

“And when I just kept on screaming and screaming and scratching the door, they broke it down. It was Zoltan, along with Pete. But by then it was too late. Zoltan tried to revive her, but Pete took one whiff at her, and pulled him back. Said he could get whatever killed her into his system, too, and collapse. They called an ambulance, but nothing could be done. She was gone.”

“That’s a terrible story,” said Dooley compassionately. “And I’m so very, very sorry. Imagine if something like that happened to Odelia, Max?”

I didn’t want to even to contemplate that scenario so I decided not to go there. “This person chatting with Kimberlee, who was it?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said sadly. “Like I said, I wasn’t paying attention. I think it was a woman, though. Because of the timbre of the voice?”

“And what were they talking about?”

“I only picked up a few words. Um…” She thought hard.

“Go on,” said Dooley. “Try to remember. This is very important.”

“I think they discussed a project of some kind? How Kimberlee would be perfect as a director?”

“A director,” I said, sharing a meaningful look with Dooley. There was only one director present at the mansion, and even though he was a man that didn’t mean he wasn’t the one in the room with Kimberlee.

“One thing puzzles me, though,” she said. “How did this person leave the room? The door was locked from the inside. So how did they leave?”

It was a mystery that we hadn’t cracked yet, but I was confident we would at some point.

We both thanked the grief-stricken doggie and moved into the other room, where Zoltan was seated in front of the television, nursing a drink, and staring at the news reports about Kimberlee’s death. He sat sagged in his seat, and looked as unhappy as Stevie.

“Yoo-hoo, mister,” said Dooley, but he didn’t pay attention.

“Can you let us out now, please?” I asked.

No reaction. The man was completely spaced out.

“Maybe try the yowling thing again?” Dooley suggested.

“Or we could go that way,” I suggested, indicating the balcony.

If Zoltan’s balcony was like most balconies, it would lead to the next one, and then the next, and finally would lead us back to Odelia’s room.

So we moved to the French windows, and out onto the balcony, then hopped up onto the stone balustrade and glanced around for the next balcony.

As I’d suspected, it was well within reach, and a quick jump later we were in the next room. Loud voices drifted from inside, and I pricked up my ears to determine their source. They appeared to be a couple fighting, so we settled down on the balcony, and decided to have a listen. Feline spies at work.

Chapter 26

“I’m done apologizing, Thaw!” the woman said. “You hear me? Done!”

“I’m not asking you to apologize, Verna,” said this Thaw person. “All I want is to understand. How could you throw away this—for that!”

“I loved her,” said Verna. “I really loved her and I thought she loved me.”

“Well, you were obviously wrong about that, weren’t you? I mean, I’m not going to say I told you so, but I did warn you. She’s the kind of person who uses people. Uses them and then throws them away when she’s done.”

“I know—and I hated her for it.”

“I thought you said you loved her?”

“I loved her and then I hated her. I still hate her—for what she did to me—to us.”

“You should have thought about that sooner, Verna. It’s too late now.”

“But I did what you asked me to!”

“I never asked you to… Oh, God. What a mess.”

There was a knock at the door and then the man stepped out onto the balcony. He stared down at us, frowned, then said,“Huh. Cats,” and proceeded to ignore us. As if we were part of the furniture.

“Hi, Miss Rectrix,” said a deferential voice inside the room. “Just a reminder that dinner will be served at seven in the main dining room.”

“Thanks,” said Verna, sounding morose now.

“You know what this means, Dooley?” I said excitedly.

“No, what?” asked Dooley.

“We found the killer!”

“We did?”

“Sure!”

“So who is it?”

“Verna! She just said it: ‘I did what you asked me to!’ She killed Kimberlee because she thought her husband asked her to!”

“Or he could have told her to buy a Snickers bar and she got him a Milky Way instead.”

“Oh, Dooley,” I said with a laugh. Not such a great detective after all!

“What? It’s true. Some people like Snickers, others like Milky Way.”

“Let’s jump to the next balcony and tell Odelia the good news. I’ll bet she’ll be so happy she’ll jump to the roof.”

“Why would Odelia jump on the roof?”

“It’s just a figure of speech. Come on.”

Verna’s husband watched us hop up onto the balustrade, then to the next balcony. “Cats,” he muttered again, then shook his head and soon was lost in what looked like very gloomy thoughts indeed. Like the fact that he’d ordered his wife to murder her girlfriend and she’d actually gone and done it!

The next balcony did not belong to Odelia either. It was another guest bedroom, and was occupied by a woman I immediately recognized as Alina Isman, the famous and extraordinary actress. She was quarreling with her husband. Today really seemed to be Fight-With-A-Spouse-Day. And since we were there anyway, we decided to stick around for a moment, and hear what they had to say to each other. We might learn something.

“I wonder where Harriet and Brutus are,” said Dooley as we settled in for another close listen. “Aren’t they supposed to be investigating, too?”

“I’ll bet they’re in the kitchen,” I said, “looking for something to eat.”

We shared a look and it soon became clear what our next port of call would be—after we’d delivered the good news to Odelia we’d identified the killer.

“I’m so, so sorry,” said Alina’s husband. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“I don’t know if I can,” she said coldly.

She was standing at the window looking out, her back straight, a pensive look in her eyes as she gazed out into the distance.

“I swear to God, I never laid a finger on that woman—not a finger!”

“Oh, spare me the crap, Reinhart,” she said, turning on her heel and laying into him. “You laid more than a finger on her. In fact you laid all of your fingers on her, didn’t you, all eleven of them!”

Dooley, next to me, was frowning.“Eleven fingers? I thought humans only had ten fingers?”

I didn’t have the heart to explain about this elusive eleventh finger. I still had the whole birds and bees thing coming up, and didn’t want to add this finger business to the list, so instead I said, “She probably sucks at math.”

“No, that never happened,” Reinhart protested. “Look, I admit I wanted to—and when she came on to me I was sorely tempted. But I was strong—for you and for the kids—for our family!”

“Oh, aren’t you the big hero.”

“I never gave into temptation!”

“You’re lying, I can tell.”

“I’m not!”

“Your ears are twitching.”

“They’re not,” he said with a little laugh.

“They are, too.” There was a pause. “So you and Kimberlee never…”

“Never,” he said, and sounded earnest. “Besides, she was already having an affair with Verna at the time, and I didn’t want to be just another notch on her belt, you know.”

“So you wanted to have an affair but you decided she didn’t like you enough, is that it?”

“That’s not what I said. She tried to seduce me, and I told her in no uncertain terms no way, no how. I was married to one of her best friends, for crying out loud. She didn’t seem to think that mattered one way or the other.”

“She was never my friend,” said Alina quietly. “I thought she was for a while, but now I see she was just playing me, like she played everyone she came into contact with. We were all simply means to an end. Stepping stones for her to reach the top. The only reason she wanted to sleep with youis because you’re a very important recording artist, Reinhart. And you could have introduced her to a lot of very important people. Helped her career.”

“Could being the keyword. I never gave into temptation, babe, I swear.”

“Oh, Reinhart, you’re such a jerk.”

“I know, babe. But I’m your jerk.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

I had the distinct impression the scene was about to turn mushy so I told Dooley,“Let’s go. There’s nothing more for us to learn here.”

Kissing sounds came from inside the room, and some moaning, too.

“I think Alina is in danger, Max,” said Dooley. “We should do something.”

“She’ll be fine. This has got nothing to do with the case and everything to do with human frailty and the tendency to fall for the wrong person.”

So we hopped the balustrade again and when we reached the next balcony I was over the moon to discover we’d finally reached our destination: inside Chase, Odelia and Gran were arguing about something.

“You have to tell them, Odelia!” Gran was saying. “It’s not fair to keep them in the dark like this.”

“I’ll tell them when this is all over. When we’re home.”

“Better tell them now, or they’ll never trust you again.”

“Maybe I can tell them,” said Chase, a smile in his voice.

They both ignored him.“Let’s talk about this later,” said Odelia.

“No, let’s talk about this now. For the last time,” said Gran, “youhave to tell the cats the operation is irreversible. They’llnever have baby cats.Ever.”

Chapter 27

“Oh, hey, you guys,” said Odelia when Max and Dooley stepped into the room. “Um… how much did you hear?”

“We heard everything,” Max said ominously.

“They heard everything, right?” said Chase. “They don’t look happy.”

“You wouldn’t look happy if you just overheard someone say you could never have babies,” said Gran.

“Sorry,” said Chase, a little lamely, then picked up Max and repeated, louder, “I’m very sorry about that, Max—but you can still lead a full and happy life, even though you can’t have babies!”

“They’re cats—not deaf,” said Gran.

Chase put Max down again.“Sorry, buddy. This is all new for me.”

“Look, just tell us already,” said Max. “We’re big cats. We can take it.”

“I’m sorry,” said Odelia, crouching down and sitting cross-legged. “The thing is, this operation you both had? It’s irreversible.”

“So the stuff Milo said…”

“No operation is going to fix this, no matter what Milo said.”

“Harriet is not going to like this,” said Max.

“Or Brutus,” said Dooley.

Odelia eyed Dooley with concern.“Dooley, I know I should have had the talk with you a long time ago, but I always figured you were too young.”

“Wait, you never had the talk with your cats?” asked Chase. “That’s crazy!”

“Chase, shut up,” said Gran.

“Shutting up,” Chase muttered.

“What talk?” asked Dooley.

“This is the birds and bees thing I was telling you about,” said Max.

“Look, when a man and a woman want to make a baby…” said Odelia.

“This is so weird,” said Chase with a light chuckle.

“Chase,” said Gran warningly.

“Or when a tomcat and a queen want to have a baby cat.”

“Or half a million baby cats,” said Max.

“So the thing is…” Odelia said. “Um…”

“Oh, just tell him already!” said Gran.

“Shut up, Gran.”

“Maybe I’ll tell them,” Chase suggested. “Man to man, you know.”

“Shut up, Chase,” snapped Gran.

“The thing is…” said Odelia, then faltered again.

“It’s not that hard,” said Max. “Look, Dooley. You know how a bee flies from flower to flower right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And the bee takes a little bit of pollen from one flower and delivers it to another flower, and it sets in motion a process of creating new flowers?”

“Uh-huh,” he said again, listening attentively.

“Well, the same thing happens when a male and a female of the species meet. The male takes the pollen to the female, and poof! A new baby is born.”

“Ooh, I think I understand,” said Dooley with a smile.

“Look at the little guy smiling,” said Chase. “I didn’t even know cats could smile, but look at him smiling.”

“So what about Harriet? Does this mean Brutus can’t bring her the pollen?”

Now it was Odelia’s turn to get a little technical. “The thing is, just like flowers, females have a, um, receptacle for the, um, pollen. And the procedure removes the receptacle. It also removes the, um, pollen factory from the male.”

Dooley nodded slowly.“So Brutus can’t make new pollen, and Harriet can’t receive it.”

“That’s right. That’s exactly right,” said Odelia, much relieved.

“Oh, man,” said Dooley. “Looks like they’re both screwed.”

“Who is screwed?” asked a voice from the window. Two more cats came waltzing in. It was Harriet and Brutus.

“Uh-oh,” said Dooley.

“Uh-oh,” said Chase, who seemed to be on the same page as the cats and adjusting quickly to his newly acquired knowledge.

“It’s actually very simple,” said Dooley. “The operation removed your pollen receptacle, and it also removed Brutus’s pollen factory. So now you can’t have babies anymore, and no operation is going to fix that, no matter what Milo says. Isn’t that right, Odelia?”

Harriet stared at Dooley for a moment, then cried,“WHAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!”

“She’s not taking it well,” said Chase.

“No, she is not,” said Gran. She glanced over to Chase. “Are you sure you don’t understand what they’re saying?”

“Positive. But it’s not hard to interpret. They’re so expressive!”

“Harriet, I’m very sorry, but it’s true,” said Odelia. “The operation was permanent. There are no tied-up tubes to untie, and the same goes for Brutus, and Max and Dooley, for that matter.”

“But WHYYYYYYYY?!!!!!” Harriet wailed.

“Do you really want to fill the world with millions of cats who are never going to find a home because there simply aren’t enough homes to go around?” asked Gran sternly. “Do you? Odelia did you a favor, young lady, and if you don’t appreciate it, you better find yourself another home.”

“Gran,” said Odelia. “Let me handle this.”

Harriet seemed on the verge of tears. But then she hardened.“Maybe Iwill look for a different home.” And then she walked out onto the balcony again.

“Harriet!” cried Odelia, and hurried over. But when she got there, Harriet was gone. Like a ghost, she’d vanished into thin ear.

“Oh, damn,” she said.

And when her grandmother and Chase joined her, Gran said,“Looks like someone threw a hissy fit.”

“You should have let me handle it, Gran.”

“You can’t keep pussyfooting around it, Odelia. At some point you have to tell it like it is.”

“I know, but there are different ways of handling a situation like this.”

“She’s gone,” said Chase. “So weird.” He looked up, then added, “Oh, there she is.”

They all looked up, and true enough: Harriet was making her way up along the drainpipe.

“Harriet, get back here!” said Odelia.

“Fat chance, baby killer!” Harriet yelled, and hopped onto the roof.

“Don’t worry,” said Chase. “I’ll get her.”

And before Odelia could stop him, he was climbing that same drainpipe.

“Chase, get back here!” she yelled. “You’re going to get yourself killed!”

“Just be a sec!” he said, then with surprising agility swung his leg over the gutter and disappeared from view.

“He’s a hero,” said Gran. “Or a moron. The jury is still out.”

Chapter 28

Harriet had reached the roof and was pondering her next course of action when Chase Kingsley, of all people, suddenly appeared and joined her.

“Nice view from up here,” he said, wiping his hands and taking a seat.

“Yeah, pretty glorious,” she said, wondering if he could suddenly understand her.

“The thing is, Harriet,” he said, turning serious, “I can see where you’re coming from. I’m in love with a pretty amazing person myself, and between you and me—and I hope you keep this to yourself—I hope one day to settle down with her and have lots of babies. So I understand your frustration, I really do. But you have to believe me when I tell you that Odelia doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. Not a one. She’s the most loving, caring and sweet-natured person I know. Pure goodness through and through. She would never have done this if she didn’t believe in her heart it was the right thing to do.”

“She took away my happiness,” said Harriet sadly. “My one chance at happiness.”

“I hear you, babe,” said Chase, “but look at it from her side: she wanted to spare you a life of unhappiness. Being pregnant all the time, wearing yourself out, being followed around by all the horny bastards of the neighborhood.”

She laughed at this.“You’re funny.”

“And trust me, there’s a lot of horny bastards out here—a lot.”

“There’s only one horny bastard I care about and that’s Brutus,” she said. “But keep this to yourself, will you? I don’t want him to get too cocky.”

“And I hope you’ll forgive me for sounding cocky, but I think I’m something of an expert on all things Odelia and if she says this is what’s best for you, she’s probably right. So please please please don’t go looking for another home. It will break Odelia’s heart. She loves you guys to death, and would do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” said Harriet. “It’s just that, I had this dream, you know, and now it’s pretty much shattered, and now I don’t know what to do.”

“We could always adopt,” he said. “I don’t know how it works for cats, but we could adopt a kitten and she could come and live with us. You and Brutus could raise her and that way you’d have your own family, just like you want.”

“I guess I’d be okay with that,” she admitted. To be totally honest, she wasn’t really looking forward to being pregnant and delivering half a dozen babies. She’d seen friends of hers that hadn’t been spayed get pregnant and the novelty quickly wore off, as did the joy of having offspring in the double digits. At first it was all great fun, but then it just became a drag. And Chase was right. It wore you down, being pregnant all the time. So maybe he had a point. Maybe Odelia had done the right thing, or what she thought was right.

“So what do you say, princess?” he said, holding out a hand. “Do you want to reconsider and rejoin your family? Cause make no mistake, Odelia and Gran and Marge and Tex and me—we are your family.”

“And Max and Dooley and Brutus,” she added softly.

“Yeah, them, too.”

“You’re making progress, you goofy cop,” said Harriet, putting her paw in Chase’s big mitt.

“Let’s get you down, shall we?”

“No way,” she said with a laugh. “Let’s make them sweat for a while. Something you need to learn, buddy. You can’t give in too soon. Or else they’ll think you’re a pushover.”

He eyed her curiously.“You’re a lot smarter than they give you credit for.”

“And you’re pretty smart for a non-cat-talking cop,” she said.

It seemed they had reached an understanding, and when ten minutes later, huffing and puffing, Odelia’s head cleared the roof, and she asked, “What the hell are you two doing up here? Organizing a lemonade stand?”

“Just chatting,” said Harriet.

“He doesn’t even speak your language!” Odelia cried, panting heavily.

“He doesn’t have to. We had a heart to heart—no language required.”

“We had a great chat,” said Chase. “I have no idea what she said, but somehow I know exactly what she said, if you know what I mean.”

Odelia rolled onto the roof and onto her back.“I know exactly what you mean, both of you. And now can we please get down? Dinner is served and I’m starving!”

“Dinner!” Harriet cried, and instantly got up and walked over to Odelia. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Dinner?” asked Chase.

“Dinner,” said Odelia. “The magic word.”

“Figures,” said Chase.

Cats or humans. They were a lot more alike than most people thought.

Chapter 29

“So where were you guys?” I asked once Harriet had decided to come down off her high horse—or, in her case, the roof.

“Oh, here and there,” said Brutus vaguely.

Odelia, Chase and Gran were getting ready for dinner, and so were us cats. Only we had a lot less work preparing ourselves then they had, obviously.

“We discovered the truth about the murder,” said Dooley proudly.

“No way. You mean you know who did it?” asked Brutus.

“Yes, we do,” I said.

“So who was it?” asked Brutus.

“Verna Rectrix. We heard it from her own lips.”

“Oh, wow,” he said. Then, after a pause, “Who is Verna Rectrix?”

“She’s this amazing actress who plays one of the main characters inBig Little Secrets,” said Harriet. “I love her. She’s quirky, does yoga, and is a vegetarian—or a vegan? She has spunk and pizzazz—are you sure she did it?”

“Yeah, she said it herself. Apparently her husband told her to—or so she thought. So she killed Kimberlee and now it turns out it was all a big misunderstanding.”

“What a horrible story,” said Harriet.

“So what else did you and Chase talk about on the roof?” Brutus asked.

“This and that,” she said.

“Oh, come on,” said Brutus. “Don’t be like that, Harriet. We don’t have secrets from each other, do we?”

“We don’t have secrets from each other either, Brutus,” I reminded him.

He gave me a guilty look.“Okay, if you have to know, we visited Emerald’s room.”

“So while we were investigating a murder you two were sightseeing?” I should have known. Harriet always does whatever she likes.

“I just wanted to see how she lives,” said Harriet. “She’s such an amazing actress and I’ve always been such a fan. This is, like, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to check out this true legend’s private space, you guys.”

“And? How was it?”

“Very nice,” said Brutus.

“Yeah, she lives well,” Harriet chimed in. “Her room is probably three times as big as this one. It’s on the other side of the staircase. She has her own private bathroom, which is just amazing—and huge.”

“There’s also a gigantic bedroom with an amazingly soft bed.”

“And an entire room just to fit all of her clothes. You should see the size of it—there’s easily thousands of dresses in there, and the most gorgeous outfits. And shoes. Oh, my God so many shoes!”

“There’s also a private dining room with a window that overlooks the pool and gardens. I mean, this is something else, you guys.”

“We saw her personal stash of Coke Emerald. There’s a roomful of them, and she keeps them chilled, the AC at full blast. That woman loves Coke.”

“There was a maid there, which is how we got in. But then she saw us and started chasing us around with a broom! So we had to hide out on the balcony, which is how we got back here—hopping from balcony to balcony.”

I stared at Brutus for a moment.“Do you think that’s how Verna got into Kimberlee’s room? By climbing over the balcony? That would explain how the door was locked from the inside.”

“I’m sure Uncle Alec looked into that,” said Harriet.

“Yeah, I guess he would,” I said. But I was still going to mention it to Odelia when I got the chance. With this whole Harriet drama I hadn’t found the right opportunity to talk to Odelia about our big discovery either.

“I wonder if Coke Emerald tastes different from regular Coke,” said Dooley, harping on a topic I thought we’d exhausted already.

“It’s a little sweeter,” said Harriet.

“And how would you know?” I asked.

“Cause I tasted it, of course!” said Harriet. “Emerald poured some into a bowl for her doggie. So I had a lick and it tastes exactly like Coke but sweeter.”

“Yeah, sweeter,” Brutus confirmed.

“You drank from a dog bowl?” asked Dooley, shocked.

“It’s a clean dog,” said Harriet defensively. “I’ll bet Emerald’s dog is probably the most pampered, cleanest dog in the country, maybe the world.”

“The whole apartment was clean,” said Brutus. “Squeaky clean.”

“You could eat off the floor,” Harriet added. “Not that I did, though.”

“So is everything settled now?” I asked. “About the baby situation?”

“We’re going to adopt,” said Harriet, entwining her tail with Brutus’s. “Isn’t that right, sweetums?”

“Chase’s idea. And I like it,” said Brutus. “That way we’ll have our own little family and we won’t have to give away dozens of kittens to the pound.”

“Lady cats never have a dozen kittens, silly,” said Harriet.

“They don’t? I thought that was about the size of a single litter.”

“More like three, four, five… sometimes more.”

Brutus gulped, clearly happy he’d dodged a bullet. Fathering half a dozen kittens takes a lot out of a gentleman cat, and Brutus wasn’t exactly the father type. Then again, maybe he was. We’d soon find out.

“I can’t wait to select a kitten,” said Dooley now.

“It’s our kitten, Dooley,” said Harriet. “Not yours or Max’s or even Odelia’s. Ours. So we’ll be the ones to pick it out. Isn’t that right, angel bunny?”

“Exactly right, buttercup,” said Brutus, and I had the impression he was already dreading the moment he came face to face with his future offspring.

Chapter 30

As we headed down the stairs to go into dinner, we attracted a lot of attention. It probably wasn’t a common practice for one of Emerald’s guests to come loaded with furry felines as opposed to fluffy canines. Whereas Verna, Abbey, Alina and Emerald all carried their respective furballs in their arms, Harriet, Dooley, Brutus and myself walked down the stairs under our own steam—which just goes to show, once more, that cats really are the superior species when compared to the canine of the animal kingdom.

“Oh, by the way, Odelia,” I said as we traipsed down. “Dooley and I have solved the case.”

“You have?” said Odelia, sounding surprised. “That was quick.”

“Yeah, we just happened to be there when Verna Rectrix admitted guilt.” And in a few brief words I told her what we’d overheard Verna and her husband Thaw Roman discuss. I also mentioned our little chat with Kimberlee’s dog Stevie about the person who was in the room with her when she died and how they talked about Kimberlee directing something.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Odelia. “Sounds like you’re right. Verna did it.”

“Which still doesn’t explain how she did it,” said Gran. “I mean, that locked door is still a mystery to me.”

“We’ll figure it out. But this is an important breakthrough. Well done, you guys.”

“Or is it? Verna could have been referring to something else entirely.”

I decided to write off Gran’s skepticism as sour grapes because she hadn’t been the one to crack the case. As usual, it was us, the cats, who’d found the telling clue. But then wasn’t that usually the case?

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Chase.

“Max and Dooley have cracked the case,” said Odelia.

Chase lifted an eyebrow.“You don’t say.”

“I do say.” She paused for suspense. “It was Verna.”

“Verna Rectrix?”

“Yup.”

And while Odelia gave her boyfriend an update, we’d arrived downstairs and humans and animals were separated at the entrance to the dining room: cats and dogs to the left, humans to the right. So we waved goodbye to Odelia, Gran and Chase, and followed one of Emerald’s people into an area of the kitchen that appeared to have been reserved specifically for Emerald’s pets, and those visiting pets who were lucky enough to be invited along with their masters.

“Oh, my God,” Harriet exclaimed when we entered what could only be described as pet heaven. Beautiful bowls were lined up along the wall, and a whole team of servers stood at attention, ready to cater to our every need.

“We have consulted with your owners as to your dietary needs and particular desires,” said the person in charge of this bucolic feast, a heavily mustachioed individual dressed in pristine white. “And we have selected those precious morsels we humbly hope will appeal to your delicate palates. I’ve also taken the liberty of consulting with leading nutritionists and pet food designers, and have prepared a meal that I think will be to your liking.” He cracked a tight smile and took a stiff-backed bow. “Bon app?tit.”

There was indeed a bowl with my name on it, and when I walked over I discovered to my not inconsiderable surprise that it contained the yummiest, juiciest, most exquisite-looking, delicious-tasting, heavenly-smelling nuggets of food I’d ever seen, tasted or smelled in my entire life. Soon the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of four cats and five dogs digging into their respective bowls and eating to their heart’s content. I would have complimented the chef, if I hadn’t been too busy devouring what was without a doubt the best meal of my life. And when finally I’d reached the bottom of my bowl, one of those wonderful servers stood at attention to inquire if I wanted more, and if so, how much.

“More,” I said between two bites. “Just keep it coming, please.”

The server, clearly instructed not to stint on the good stuff, complied.

I was determined to keep eating until there was nothing left. An ambitious proposition, no doubt, but one I vowed to see through to the end.

And judging from the concerted effort and absolute focus of my pet-mates, they had the exact same thing in mind.

“Oh, boy,” said Dooley as he looked up, his nose covered in yummy food, “I think we picked the wrong humans to live with, Max.”

“I’m starting to think so, too,” I said, then busied myself with devouring this second helping, which tasted slightly different than the first, only because the server had managed to surprise me once again.

“And this is only the entree,” she said as she watched me eat with a gratified smile. “There’s more to come. Lots and lots and lots more. Emerald believes in spoiling her pets rotten, you see, so this is just the beginning.”

“I love Emerald,” I said huskily. “My god how I love this woman. She is the queen, the top, the absolute pinnacle of pet care.”

And then I dug in once more. Who has time to stand around flapping their gums when they can use those same gums for eating!

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In the main dining room conversations were a little stilted. After everything that had happened these ladies, Hollywood royalty as Emerald referred to them, were visibly shook by the death of one of their own, even if they hadn’t liked her all that much.

Odelia was seated next to Emerald and even the queen of the silver screen was unusually quiet.

“I thought about canceling the weekend,” she admitted as she dug into her Cajun shrimp and rice. “But that just wouldn’t be fair to the rest of us. It’s not because one selfish person decided to ruin it for us—more specifically me—that I should give in and admit defeat. Kimberlee wanted to destroy me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her.”

“You still think she did it on purpose?” asked Odelia, not wanting to reveal Kimberlee’s death had actually been a murder—a murder she’d since solved.

“I’m starting to think so more and more. Like Alina said this afternoon, why single out this weekend and my home to commit this act of cowardice? Obviously she wanted to end her life a long time ago, but to choose this specific time and place… That is simply rude. Very bad manners indeed.”

It was the first time Odelia had ever heard someone refer to suicide as bad manners and to the victim as being rude, but she refrained from comment.

To her right, Gran was tucking in with relish. All this talk of death had clearly not put her off her appetite.

“Now this is what I call some great chow,” she muttered.

“Yeah, the food is pretty amazing,” Chase agreed. “In fact I can’t think of a time I’ve had better meals—beats the best restaurants in town.”

“So are you also in the movie business?” asked Verna’s husband, leaning over to direct the question at Gran, who clearly had everyone puzzled with her suddenly turning up.

“Oh, God, no,” said Gran with a laugh. “As if. Though I’m thinking about launching a career. Seeing all these gorgeous women light up the screen, I’m inspired.”

Thaw appeared confused.

“So if you’re not an actress…”

“I’m Odelia’s grandmother. She needed my help, so here I am.”

“How fascinating,” the actor said.

“So, Emerald,” said Gran now, wiping her lips with her napkin.

“Mh?” said the screen goddess, looking up from her musings on Kimberlee’s ultimate betrayal.

“Any pointers for a newbie? I’m thinking about launching myself in the biz,” she clarified.

“Pointers? Oh, you mean acting tips.” She thought for a moment. “Always be yourself and don’t take crap from anyone. Especially directors, producers or studio heads. She directed a pointed look at Odo Hardy, her director, who was seated to her right. He graciously kept his tongue at this harangue.

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem for me,” said Gran. “I never take crap from anyone, and I’m always true to myself. Rules to live by, right?”

She then ogled the director for a moment.“Say, listen. Do you have a part for me in your next movie, director dude?”

Odo looked up.“Well, currently I’m working on a remake ofCleopatra. And even though a lot of the roles have been cast, we’re still looking for someone to play the role of Cleopatra’s mother. I’ve been trying to entice Helen Mirren to sign up for the part, but so far she’s proving reluctant.”

“So who’s playing Cleopatra?”

“We’ve cast Alicia Vikander for the role,” he said. “I think she’ll be great.”

Emerald pulled a sour face.“If I were a few years younger, I could have played her.”

“I don’t understand why you have to pick a white actress,” said Verna peevishly. “Cleopatra was Egyptian, right? Why not pick an actress of color?”

“You mean like yourself?” said Emerald. “As if you are good enough to play such a plummy part.”

Verna stiffened visibly, threw down her utensils and got up.“You know what? I think I’ve had enough of your abuse, Emerald. Come on, Thaw. Let’s get out of here.”

“But you can’t go!” said Emerald, clearly sorry about her outburst.

“That wasn’t a very nice thing to say, Emerald,” said Abbey.

“No, not very nice at all,” Alina added.

“I apologize! I’m sorry, Verna,” said Emerald. “It’s just that I have so much on my plate right now. I didn’t mean what I said, darling. You know I love you.”

Verna hesitated for a moment, then returned to her seat.

“You really should cast a woman of color as Cleopatra,” she repeated. “In this day and age, whitewashing will only get you pilloried by your audience.”

“I could play Cleopatra,” said Gran. “I think I’d be great.”

“I don’t…” The director looked at her with a bemused expression on his face. “Wouldn’t you say you’re a little … old for the part, Mrs. Muffin?”

“That’s ageism right there,” said Gran. “I think it’s time Hollywood starts to appreciate senior citizens. We’re a large chunk of audience that goes absolutely unserved. Casting me as Cleopatra would give a signal. A signal that senior citizens count in Hollywood. That we haven’t beenforgotten.”

“You should cast a senior citizen woman of color,” said Verna. “That way you’d hit the two demographics in one fell swoop.”

Odelia glanced over to Verna, and thought back to Max’s words. They sounded pretty damning. But before she talked to Uncle Alec, she needed to be absolutely sure. She needed to hear it from the woman’s lips. So she vowed to have a little chat with Verna later on and ask her straight out. She was pretty sure she’d be able to tell if she was lying or not.

Then again, Verna was a professional actress.

To convincingly tell a lie came with the territory.

Chapter 31

That night, Emerald had planned a movie night in her private movie theater. It should have been a fun night for all, but now of course no one was in the mood. Instead, one after the other people drifted off to bed. Tomorrow was the last day, and even though the itinerary said there was horse riding planned, and a trip to the nearby town of Happy Bays, Odelia had the distinct impression there wouldn’t be much horse riding or visits to quaint little towns.

Verna and her husband had been sitting huddled together on the terrace, nursing their drinks and talking intensely, and the moment Thaw got up, Odelia saw her opportunity and seized it by approaching the actress.

“I’m so sorry,” she said by way of introduction, “but I couldn’t help overhearing you and your husband arguing this afternoon.”

Verna frowned.“You did?”

“I was in my room, on the balcony, and I couldn’t help but hear you say to Thaw that you did what he asked you to.” She lifted a meaningful eyebrow.

“So?”

“So I should probably tell you that I don’t think Kimberlee’s death was a suicide. I actually think she was murdered…”

Verna’s face cleared as understanding dawned. Astonishment mingled with amusement on the actress’s face. “You think I killed Kimberlee? Seriously?”

Odelia shrugged.“Before I talk to my uncle I wanted to talk to you first. I know how words can get twisted and lost in translation, so…”

“You came to elicit a confession from me,” said Verna, nodding. She glanced down to Odelia’s chest. “Are you wearing a wire? Is this a sting?”

“Of course not. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to explain before I talked to the police about what I heard.”

Verna leaned back and tucked her legs underneath her.“And a good thing you did, or else you would have made an absolute fool of yourself, Miss Poole. What Thaw and I were discussing was actually our divorce.”

“Your divorce?”

“The thing is… I had a brief affair with Kimberlee.”

“I know. I mean, so I’ve been told.”

“My, my. Aren’t you the busy bee?”

“There’s been a lot of talk this weekend.”

Verna leveled a critical look at her fellow actresses.“Oh, how they love to talk.” She hesitated for a moment, then said, “When Thaw found out about the affair, he went ahead and hired a lawyer. When he told me, I…” She shook her head. “It was as if I woke up from a trance. I realized I loved Thaw, and that this thing I had with Kimberlee was just a fling. So I promised Thaw I’d break it off and do whatever it took to make it up to him. I went into therapy and—”

“Wait,you broke it off?”

“I did, yes.”

“But I thought…”

“I know what you thought—what everybody thinks. That Kimberlee dumped me. But that’s not what happened. I was the one to end it—because I didn’t want to lose Thaw. And then Kimberlee started spreading vicious lies about me behind my back. Saying things like how I’d been unfaithful. How I was an addict—trying to sabotage my career, you know. Out of spite.”

“So that’s why you blew up at her. Not because she dumped you but—”

“Because she was trying to make me out to be someone I’m not. And I wanted her to stop.”

“So when you said to your husband ‘I did what you asked me to…’”

“I was referring to me breaking up with Kimberlee and starting therapy. Not,” she added emphatically, “murdering Kimberlee—I mean, really?”

“I’m sorry. It just sounded as if…”

Verna studied Odelia with an amused expression on her face.“You have quite the imagination, Miss Poole, but then I guess for a reporter that comes with the territory.”

“Odelia, please, and I’m sorry if I offended you. I just thought…”

Verna waved her apologies away.“It’s fine. At least you didn’t slap a pair of handcuffs on my wrists. But tell me—why would you think Kimberlee was murdered? I thought it was pretty obvious she killed herself.”

“A hunch, mainly,” said Odelia. She didn’t want to mention that Kimberlee’s dog had heard her mistress talk to a mystery visitor immediately before she died. It was not the kind of revelation that would stand up in court.

“Yeah, I guess reporters develop good hunches. Does your uncle think the same thing?”

“Yes, he does.”

“So it’s official?”

“Well… Officially nothing has been decided yet.”

“Murder.” She shook her head, her dreadlocks dangling pleasantly. “Incredible. But who would do that to her?”

“Take your pick,” said Odelia, gesturing at the people still present on the terrace. “From what I can tell Kimberlee wasn’t exactly Miss Popular.”

“She wasn’t. I had all the reason in the world to hate her, and so did a lot of other people.”

“So what do you think? Assuming it was murder. Who is the killer?”

Verna thought for a moment.“If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say her boyfriend. The poor guy has had to endure so much over the years. She made a complete fool of him over and over and over again.”

They both studied Kimberlee’s boyfriend Zoltan, who was sitting by himself, sipping from a vodka tonic and looking every inch the tragic widower.

“He just doesn’t seem like the type, though,” said Verna.

“They never do,” said Odelia, speaking from experience.

Chapter 32

I have to admit that in spite of the fact that we were now the guests of an obviously very accomplished hostess, I still missed my own homestead that night. There simply isn’t anything better than to take a nice snooze on your favorite spot on the couch or the foot of the bed. And I know that the beds and the couches in this part of the world were of a much better quality than those belonging to my own human, but what can I say? Sometimes that ratty old jacket you’ve been wearing for years is preferable to that brand-new and very expensive coat.

I’m obviously not speaking from experience here. Cats don’t wear jackets or coats. But you catch my drift.

Still, I’d found a nice little spot on Odelia’s very large and very comfy bed, Dooley had taken up position at Chase’s feet, and Harriet and Brutus had decided to make full use of the large space on Gran’s bed next door.

We’d all had such a nice and filling dinner we were satisfied to sleep it off for a couple of hours, this murder business the furthest thing from our minds.

Odelia and Chase talked deep into the night, but I didn’t let it keep me from enjoying a refreshing slumber. So when I did finally awake, I found that both my humans had drifted off to sleep, and only one pair of eyes was staring at me in wonder. I had no problem attributing the inquisitive peepers to my friend Dooley, who obviously had been awake for quite a little while.

“What’s wrong, Dooley?” I asked, yawning and stretching. “Why are you up?”

“You are the soundest sleeper I know, Max,” he said reverently.

“I know,” I said. “I like sleeping.”

“You really sleep the sleep of the dead.”

“I’m not sure I like that particular simile.”

“For a moment there? I thought you were really dead. You weren’t dead, were you, though, Max?”

“If I was dead I’d still be dead right now. Being dead is not a temporary affliction, Dooley. In most cases it’s permanent.”

“People have come back from the dead,” he argued.

“Yeah, but they usually had to be brought back by an able team of medical professionals and quite a few shocks to the system. Spontaneously dying and then equally spontaneously reviving would be akin to a medical miracle.”

“I’m glad you’re not dead, Max.”

“That makes two of us. So what’s up? Can’t sleep?”

“I thought I heard a noise.”

I turned my antenna-like ears in the direction he was indicating. He was right. There was a noise, and it seemed to be coming from the wall dividing this room from the next, where Gran was presumably sleeping soundly.

“Could be Gran snoring,” I said.

“Or Brutus.”

“Does Brutus snore?”

“He does.” He giggled. “The funniest little snuffles.”

We both jumped down from the bed and padded over to the wall. I put one ear against it and listened intently.

“It doesn’t sound like snoring,” I finally determined. “More like… munching.”

“Maybe Gran grinding her teeth?”

“Could be if she had teeth.”

“She doesn’t?”

“She does, but she puts them in a cup every night.”

“That would probably prevent her from grinding them.”

“It would.”

“Could be mice,” I finally determined. Chewing in the middle of the night? Either mice or rats. Now I was totally intrigued. So I hunkered down and saw there was a crack underneath the baseboard. And since cats will be cats, I inserted a nail and started pulling. That’s what we like to do: welike to dig our nails in and tug and see what happens.

“I’ll bet it’s mice,” I said.

“Or a secret door to a secret room.”

Doubtful, but I could tell Dooley was more excited about the prospect of a secret room than a family of mice so I said,“Now wouldn’t that be cool?”

“The coolest!” Dooley said, and followed my lead.

The secret door, if that was what it was, didn’t budge, though. It probably was locked and needed a key or some secret ritual to open it all the way. And if it was mice, as I suspected, they’d found the perfect hiding place: one where even cats couldn’t reach.

“What’s going on, you guys?” asked a sleepy voice from the bed.

“Oh, just that we’ve discovered a secret door,” Dooley said casually.

This made Odelia sit up right away and flick on the bedside lamp.

“What’s happening?” muttered a sleepy Chase. “Why are we getting up?”

“The cats have discovered a secret door.”

“Secret door? What is this? A Nancy Drew story?”

Odelia had padded over barefoot and now crouched down next to us. She rubbed her finger along the crack.“Looks like you’re right. But how to open it?”

“We’ve been trying,” said Dooley, “but they must have locked it really tight.”

“Has to be a way to open it somehow,” said Odelia, her fingers gently exploring the surface of the alleged secret door.

Chase, who’d reluctantly thrown off the blanket of sleep and also his actual blanket, joined us. “Lemme see,” he said. He studied the wall for a moment, then poked his finger at a part of the wallpaper depicting a flower bud. There was a click and a whirr, and suddenly the door swung open!

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Odelia, appropriately impressed.

“Magic finger,” Chase announced proudly.

Odelia opened the door further and we found ourselves staring into a darkened space. We all popped our heads in to take a look-see. In the dark, I could see a small hairy form run for cover. It was a mouse. Our mysterious muncher. I decided not to tell the others. At heart, I’m a peace-loving cat.

“A secret corridor,” said Chase. “Thisis a Nancy Drew story.”

“Or a Hardy Boys story,” Odelia allowed.

Whatever it was, we’d made the most astonishing discovery.

“You know what this means, right?” I said.

They all looked at me. Even Chase, who seemed to have developed a sudden fascination for our thoughts and suggestions.

“This must be how the killer got into Kimberlee’s room!”

Chapter 33

“You know what? I think you’re right, Max,” said Odelia.

“Of course I’m right,” said Max.

“Is he saying this is how the killer got into Kimberlee’s room?” asked Chase.

“How did you—can you suddenly understand my cats?” asked Odelia, stunned.

“No, but it seems like the logical conclusion for the locked room mystery. This is the only way the killer—if there was a killer—could have snuck into the room.”

“Well, there was a killer,” she pointed out. “Kimberlee’s dog said so.”

Chase laughed.“I’m sorry. I still have to get used to this whole ‘Max said this’ and ‘the dog said that’ thing. As if I’ve just entered a Dr. Dolittle movie. And you don’t even look like Eddie Murphy.”

“We need to follow this lead,” said Odelia. “Find out how far this goes.”

“I’ll bet these corridors run all over the house,” said Chase.

“We better call Uncle Alec,” said Odelia. “He needs to search these corridors for clues.”

“I’ll bet the killer, whoever he or she is, was careful enough not to leave any clues,” said Chase. He’d picked up his phone, launched the flashlight app, and shone it down the corridor. It looked exactly like what it was: a space between two walls, high enough and wide enough for a single person to pass through.

“I wonder why Emerald had these constructed,” said Odelia.

“Emerald didn’t build this house,” said Chase. “She bought it a little under a decade ago. This house is easily a hundred years old. Emerald and Pete, when they got it, did a lot of renovations, though, but I’ll bet these corridors were never touched.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

“Because I talked to Steve and he told me.”

“Maybe the original owner was some old pervert who liked to spy on his guests?” Max suggested.

Odelia laughed. Chase did not. She repeated Max’s words and he grinned. “I’m starting to understand why you like those cats so much. They’re hilarious.”

“And very clever,” she said as she closed the secret door again and it locked into place. “They found this passageway, didn’t they?”

“So this is how you managed to solve all of those mysteries. You had help from your ‘secret sources.’”

Now it was her turn to grin.“I couldn’t very well tell you that my secret sources were my cats, could I? Besides, you would never have believed me.”

“It’s ingenious,” he admitted. “Cats are able to go anywhere undetected, and the bad guys won’t think twice to discuss their nefarious plans in front of a cat or household pet, knowing they won’t spread the word.”

“Only they do spread the word, and very happily so.”

Just then, Odelia thought she saw movement near the door. When she walked over, and opened it, she didn’t see anything. What she did detect were voices, whispering in the dark. She listened intently. And then she heard it.

“Don’t worry about a thing, my darling. I was very careful not to leave a single trace.”

“I worry about you, that’s all.”

“Like I said, nothing to worry about. They’ll never know.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Odelia quickly darted into the hallway and peered into the darkness. She heard a door close, but it was impossible to know which one it was.

“What’s going on?” asked Chase, following her out.

“I heard two people talking,” she said. “But now they’re gone.”

“What did they say?”

“The woman said something about how she’d been very careful and how they’d never catch her. The guy seemed worried and she was reassuring him.”

He gave her a thoughtful look.“Do you think it was the killer?”

“Could be,” she said. “Whoever it was, they’re gone now, and…”

They’d returned to the room and suddenly she saw a white envelope on the floor. Someone must have slipped it under the door. So that was the movement she’d seen. With a frown, she picked it up. It was addressed ‘To Miss Poole, Reporter.’

“Well, open it,” said Chase.

She did, and found a note inside. On it, the words were written:‘Please meet me at ten o’clock in the smoking room. It’s important. Shauna.’

“Who’s Shauna?” asked Chase.

“I have no idea,” said Odelia as she turned the small piece of paper over in her hands. She thought for a moment. “Maybe one of the maids?”

“Do you think she’s the one you heard talking just now?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so. She probably came up, put this note under the door and disappeared again as fast as she could.”

“Tomorrow we’ll know more,” said Chase. “And now we better get some sleep.”

He was right. She felt frustrated, though, and had half a mind to go in search of this Shauna person right now, and ask her what she knew or thought she knew. Then again, she had no idea where to find her, and didn’t feel like waking up Emerald. For all she knew Emerald was the killer. At this point they couldn’t rule out anyone. Except maybe Verna.

The door next to their room opened, and Gran poked her head out.“What’s with all the whispering?” she complained. “A person can’t even get a good night’s sleep in this place for all the whispering.”

“I’m sorry, Gran,” said Odelia. “There’s been a development.”

Gran, who was dressed in funky fluorescent PJs, her tiny white curls covered with a hairnet, held out her hand as Odelia handed her the little note.

“Looks like your killer was seen by this Shauna person,” said Gran. “Which begs the question: why didn’t she tell the cops?”

“Maybe she doesn’t trust cops?” said Chase. “Some people don’t.”

“We also found a corridor that presumably connects all rooms,” said Odelia.

“So that’s how the killer did it,” said Gran. “I knew there had to be a logical explanation for that darned locked door.”

It appeared there was nothing more they could do, so they returned to their respective rooms and back to bed. It took a while for Odelia to find sleep again. And as she finally drifted off, she dreamed of secret corridors and secret rooms and silent killers who moved through the house like the wind.

Chapter 34

The next morning, Odelia was awakened when a hand shook her. She reluctantly opened her eyes and muttered,“Need. More. Sleep.”

When she saw Chase’s serious expression, all thought of sleep was immediately wiped from her mind. She sat up with a jerk. “What’s wrong?”

She saw Uncle Alec had also entered the room. He looked equally grave.

“There’s been an accident,” said Chase.

He gave her a look of significance and she instantly clapped a hand to her mouth.“Not…”

He nodded.“Shauna Shostak. You were right. She was one of the maids. She was found early this morning at the foot of the basement stairs, her neck broken.”

“Was she…”

“She could have fallen down the stairs,” said Uncle Alec, “or she could have been pushed. Too soon to tell.”

“We did find a brick next to her head with blood on it, and she has a nasty wound on the side of the head,” said Chase.

“So she could have been shoved down the stairs than finished off by smashing her head in with the brick,” said Odelia.

Uncle Alec nodded.“Which was unnecessary. Cause of death is a broken neck. Could be that she hit her head on the way down, of course. Like I said, it’s too soon to tell.”

Odelia had gotten up and quickly got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. A glance at her phone told her it was early. Seven o’clock.

“Who found her?”

“A cook,” said Uncle Alec. “Just after six. She called it in and I called Chase.”

The cats, seated at the foot of the bed, intently listening, were wide awake.

“What can we do?” asked Max seriously.

“Yeah, how can we help?” asked Dooley.

She thought for a moment.“Keep doing what you did yesterday. Put your ear to the ground. Listen to the chatter.” To Chase and her uncle, she added, “If Shauna saw something, maybe she told others—or maybe one of her colleagues saw the same thing and hasn’t come forward yet.”

“We’re interviewing all of them,” said Uncle Alec.

“So you’re not treating this as a suicide anymore?”

Uncle Alec hesitated.“The thing is, so far all we have to go on is the word of Kimberlee’s dog. Not enough to open an official investigation, I’m afraid.”

“So we’ll keep on digging,” said Odelia determinedly. “Shauna gave her life trying to tell me what she knew. We owe it to her to stop this killer.”

“So you think Shauna was killed by the same person who killed Kimberlee?” asked Uncle Alec.

“I do. Shauna must have seen something or heard something and was going to reveal it to me. The killer must have found out and couldn’t let her go through with it. Doing the right thing cost the poor woman her life.”

“Why don’t we let Odelia talk to some of Shauna’s colleagues?” Chase suggested. “They might open up to her. Like I told your mom last night, some people don’t like talking to cops.”

“Good idea,” said Alec.

Together, they made their way down the stairs. On the way, they met a distraught-looking Abbey.“So it’s true? Someone else died?”

“It’s true,” Odelia confirmed.

“This place is quickly turning into the castle of doom!” said Abbey, though she had the excited air of a person eager to be in the thick of things. She joined Odelia as she descended the stairs. “So what happened?”

“One of the maids fell down the stairs and broke her neck.”

“A maid?” Abbey seemed mildly disappointed. When Odelia nodded affirmatively, she said, “You know what? I think I left something in my room.”

She’d clearly hoped for a more juicy story than a maid falling down the stairs. Odelia watched her leave with mixed feelings. Even though she kinda liked Abbey, she was one of her suspects. Shaking her head, she quickly hurried to catch up with her uncle and Chase.

She followed them into the kitchen, and then to the smoker’s room where Shauna had asked her to meet. Seated there, smoking and looking distraught, was a woman with a white cook’s uniform, her eyes red and puffy.

“This is Sylvia,” said Uncle Alec. “She’s the one who found Shauna. And this is Odelia,” he introduced Odelia. “She’s my niece and she’ll ask you a couple of questions if that’s okay with you.”

The woman glanced up at Odelia.“Of course. Anything to help.”

Odelia took a seat across the table from Sylvia and Chase and Alec left, closing the door behind them. The room smelled to cigarettes, and Odelia wondered why Emerald would keep a smoker’s room in the house.

“Poor Shauna,” said Sylvia. “She was just the sweetest little thing.”

“You knew her well?”

“I did.” She took a cigarette from a pack on the table. “Want one?”

“No, thanks,” she said. “I don’t smoke.”

“Neither did Shauna. She spent an awful lot of time in here, though.”

“Why was that?”

“I guess she liked to hang out with us. There’s only three of us that smoke in the whole house, and when she was on her break Shauna always came down here and joined us. I once asked if she wasn’t afraid of second-hand smoke but she didn’t care. She was a sweet girl but she didn’t get along with some of the others—especially Helen. She’s the housekeeper. A real hellcat.”

“I had no idea this place had a smoker’s room,” said Odelia.

“Emerald didn’t like it, but if she wanted to keep Chef happy, she had to keep it. She wanted us to smoke outside, but Chef doesn’t like freezing his rocks off just because he’s a smoker. So he told Emerald either she organized a smoker’s room or he was going to walk. She organized the room.”

“So Shauna slipped this note under my door last night,” said Odelia, deciding to tackle this thing head-on.

She placed the note in front of the cook, who read it eagerly.“Oh, that poor, stupid girl.”

“Why do you say that?”

“She must have seen something, and instead of coming right out and telling the police she must have been chewing on it all day yesterday, only to finally decide to come forward in this roundabout way. And it got her killed.”

“Did she tell you what it was that she saw, or heard?”

Sylvia bit her lip and shook her head.“If she’d told me I’d have advised her to go straight to the police.”

“Why didn’t she?”

The woman stubbed out her cigarette in an overflowing ashtray.“It’s a big step to talk to the police—especially when you’re a small cog in a big machine. My guess is she wasn’t sure of what she saw, and didn’t want to get in trouble with Helen or Emerald. So she decided to talk to you first.”

“You don’t think she fell, do you?”

Sylvia slowly shook her head.“No, I don’t.”

“This is very important,” said Odelia, leaning forward. “Do you have any idea who might have done this to her?”

Sylvia stared at Odelia for a moment, then lit up another cigarette and directed a plume of smoke at the ceiling.“No, I don’t, unfortunately.”

“If you knew, you would tell me, right? I’m not a cop, Sylvia. Whatever you tell me stays between us. I promise you.”

Sylvia flashed a quick smile.“I know. Shauna talked a lot about you. She was a big fan. Read all of your articles. And if I had any idea what happened I would happily tell you, but unfortunately I don’t. All because Shauna didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on.” She hung her head. “And for that I’ll always blame myself.”

Odelia took the woman’s hand. “Please don’t. This is not your fault.”

Sylvia looked up, and there were tears in her eyes.“If only she’d confided in me, I would have gone straight to the cops and she’d still be alive.” They sat for a few moments in silence, then Sylvia said, in a throaty voice, “Please get whoever did this to my friend, Miss Poole. Promise me. For Shauna.”

“I promise,” said Odelia, touched. “I will leave no stone unturned.”

Chapter 35

Odelia was right: the secret passageway we’d discovered connected all of the rooms on our floor. Dooley and I had set out to explore them, and before long we’d discovered we could go literally anywhere and not be detected. Of course the rooms were all deserted now, with their inhabitants either having breakfast or being interviewed by Chief Alec’s people, or even walking their dogs outside. Suddenly we heard voices, though, and so we followed them to the source. They were all male voices, so I was curious to say the least.

“Do you think we’ve hit upon a secret gathering within the secret passageways?” asked Dooley excitedly.

“No idea, Dooley.”

“There could be a secret cult living within these walls, studying the people in the rooms, and murdering with absolute impunity,” he said, his imagination taking sudden flight. Dooley is prone to such flights of fancy.

“Or it could be the cleaners taking a break,” I said.

“That doesn’t sound as exciting as my idea.”

No, it certainly did not.

The voices appeared to originate from inside the room that had been awarded to Kimberlee’s boyfriend upon Kimberlee’s tragic demise. From what I could tell there were at least five occupants in there, yapping away.

Dooley and I positioned ourselves near the cracks in the wall so we had a perfect vantage point to spy on these humans without them knowing. I saw Kimberlee’s boyfriend Zoltan, Emerald’s husband Pete, Abbey’s husband Seger, Verna’s husband Thaw, and Alina’s husband Reinhart. Even the director, Odo Hardy, was there. They were seated in the apartment’s salon, drinking hard liquor and smoking something that smelled extremely… pungent.

“Weed,” I told Dooley. “They’re smoking weed.”

“Why would they smoke weeds?” asked Dooley.

“Not weeds. Weed. It’s a drug.”

“A drug!”

“Humans like it. A lot of them seem to smoke it.”

“So weird,” was Dooley’s determination. “Why would anyone want to fill their lungs with smoke? That just seems like a very irrational thing to do.”

“I know, right?”

“I’m just saying, we gotta get out of this place,” said Thaw. “No offense to you, Pete, or your lovely wife and your fabled hospitality, which is amazing, to be honest.”

“Amazing,” echoed Zoltan.

“And the food. Oh, my God.” He kissed his fingers for some reason. “To die for, man. But there’s cops crawling all over. And now with this maid that tumbled down the stairs…”

“Bad luck,” Pete said. “First Kimberlee, now this. Why does this keep happening to us?”

“It’s like that story from the bible,” said Seger. “You get seven good years followed by seven lean years. Your luck will turn, buddy.” He clapped a dejected-looking Pete on the shoulder. “Soon you’ll prosper again.”

“Maybe we should just sell the house,” said Pete now. “After what happened it just doesn’t feel the same.”

“Don’t do that!” said Reinhart. “If you sell now you’ll get shafted.”

“And if we stay we’re screwed. We’ll be social outcasts. And I’m not blaming you, Thaw. I wouldn’t want to stay in a place where a woman just killed herself and another died in a freak accident.”

“Yeah, that was pretty weird,” said Seger. “What are the odds?”

They all sat in silence for a moment, then Odo Hardy held up his glass.“A toast. To Kimberlee. An amazing woman. And a once-in-a-lifetime talent.”

“A toast,” Pete said, holding up his glass.

The others all joined in.“To Kimberlee,” said Zoltan sadly.

“To Kimberlee,” the others echoed, and clinked their glasses.

“Looks like they all loved Kimberlee,” said Dooley.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” I told him. “One of these men may have killed two women in the last twenty-four hours.”

“Pity we can’t look inside their heads. Like a mind reader?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t that be something?”

“Do you hear that?” suddenly asked Pete.

“What?” said Reinhart.

“Sounds like a cat. It’s coming from over there.”

“Uh-oh,” I said. “Looks like we’re busted, Dooley.”

“Run, Max, run!” Dooley cried, and set the example by breaking into a run himself.

I quickly followed suit. I did not want to be caught by these people. Spies are notoriously shy, and hate to be interrupted when they’re spying on people, and cats are no different.

“There’s nothing there, you guys!” we could hear Seger say. “Probably just the wind in the pipes!”

We hurried back to the room, flying like the wind—without the pipes—and popped out to safety, panting heavily, then laughing at our crazy adventure.

“That was fun,” I said.

“Where did you guys go off to?” asked Harriet, who was perched on the bed, reading on Odelia’s tablet computer.

“Exploring these secret passageways,” said Dooley. “They run all over this floor.”

“It’s how the killer got into Kimberlee’s room,” I added. “Unseen and unheard.”

“Except by the maid,” said Dooley.

“So what are you up to?” I asked, hopping onto the bed. Or at least I tried to hop. The beds were pretty high, but I finally managed at my third attempt.

“Oh, just going through the pictures Odelia took of the crime scene,” said Harriet, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“And? Have you found anything?”

Brutus, lying next to Harriet, was licking his fur.“Nothing so far,” he said.

“Odelia asked us to take a look, just in case she missed something,” said Harriet. She deftly flicked though the pictures with her paw pads.

Thank God for Steve Jobs. He’s the one who made it possible for cats to use tablet computers and smartphones. Our pink pads are simply perfect for the purpose of scrolling through pictures or operating a touchscreen.

“That’s the stack of Coke Emeralds,” I said when a picture popped up depicting a pyramid of Coke cans.

“That’s not the crime scene, though, right?” asked Dooley.

“No, just random pictures Odelia took when she and Chase first arrived here yesterday.” Harriet suddenly narrowed her eyes, then expanded the picture for a closer look. “Now isn’t that the weirdest thing?” she muttered.

“What is?” I asked.

Instead of responding, she quickly flicked through the pictures until she got to one of the can of Coke Kimberlee had drunk from. It was on the floor, next to the poor unfortunate woman’s body.

Once again, Harriet zoomed in on the can.“You guys,” she said finally, “I-I think I found something. I-I think I found—I’ve found a clue—an actual clue!”

Chapter 36

When Odelia finally returned to her room, she hadn’t learned much. She’d talked to some more people on staff, but no one had any idea about what Shauna could possibly have seen. Most of them simply held that the girl was delusional, and thought she was just trying to make herself look important by professing to hold some important piece of information.

So Odelia decided to take a break and check up on her cats and Gran, and when she entered her room wasn’t disappointed. Four cats looked extremely excited, and so did her grandmother.

“They found something!” Gran said. “They found an important clue—or at least I think it is.”

Odelia joined them on the bed, where all attention seemed to be centered on her tablet.

“So what did you find?” she asked with an indulgent smile.

“Actually it’s Harriet who found it,” said Max. “She’s a genius.”

This surprised Odelia. Usually Max was the sharpest of her small menagerie of cats, with Harriet too self-involved to make big contributions and Brutus too much trying to please Harriet to pay attention to much else. As far as Dooley was concerned, he was a sweetheart, but not the smartest cat.

“Look,” said Harriet, flipping through the pictures on her tablet. “See these Coke cans?”

She saw the Coke cans.“Uh-huh.”

“Now look closer.” Harriet zoomed in on one of the cans. It looked like a regular can of Coke to her, only with the name Emerald added. “See?” said Harriet triumphantly.

“You have to show her the other pictures first,” said Gran.

“What have you been up to, by the way?” Odelia asked her grandmother.

“I had a massage!” said Gran, chipper. “And a facial. Abbey suggested it to me. Apparently Emerald has her own private beauty salon, and since these people have nothing to do right now, because of all of the hullaballoo, I figured this was my chance. I’m going back there in ten for a mani-pedi.”

Odelia cocked an eyebrow at her gran.“Good for you.”

“Right?” She beamed genially at Odelia.

“Look, Odelia, look,” said Harriet, trying to draw her attention.

“I’m looking, honey,” she said. It was a picture of yet another can of Coke. “So what am I looking at, exactly?”

“This is the Coke Kimberlee drank from. The one with the poison?”

“Okay.”

“Now look closer.” Harriet zoomed in again, this time on the logo and more specifically the name Emerald.

“See?” she said triumphantly. “My clue!”

“Um… actually…”

“The picture!”

She frowned and then finally saw it. This can had a tiny picture of Emerald interposed on top of the E of Emerald.

“Don’t the other cans have this?” she asked.

“No, they don’t. So you see, this can is different from the others.”

“I still don’t see…”

“Remember how Brutus and I went exploring in Emerald’s apartment? And how we saw a huge stack of Coke cans? Her own private stash? Well, they all had these tiny pictures of Emerald on them, while the stack of cans in the dining room don’t.”

“So… the can Kimberlee drank from came from Emerald’s private stash,” she said slowly.

“It did! Don’t you think that’s an important clue?”

“This could literally mean anything,” she said, not wanting to disappoint Harriet but not wanting her to get carried away either. “This could simply mean that Kimberlee was in Emerald’s apartment and took one of the cans.”

“But don’t you see—this is Emerald’s private stash. Obviously she wants to keep these to herself.”

“What I think happened,” said Gran, “is that Emerald paid a visit to Kimberlee, coming in through the door, gifting her this special can, watched Kimberlee drink the cyanide-laced Coke and then got out through the secret passageway. Why else would Kimberlee have a can of Emerald’s private stash in her room?”

Odelia shrugged.“Like I said, she could have been in Emerald’s room, or Emerald could have given it to her as a special gift. She appointed Kimberlee her successor—said she wanted to see her succeed and be the heir to her throne.”

“Who else would know about these secret passageways but Emerald?” said Max.

“Just about anyone. Just because Emerald didn’t tell us about those passageways doesn’t mean she didn’t tell the others.”

“Kimberlee’s doggie Stevie said Kimberlee and her mystery visitor—probably a woman—discussed a director role for Kimberlee for her next project,” said Gran. “Emerald has been quoted as saying she’s thinking about retiring from acting and turning to directing. She has also been quoted as saying she’s looking for suitable actors.” She held up her phone. “It’s on the Internet!”

Odelia took Gran’s phone. She’d found an article where Emerald did indeed talk about retiring from acting and becoming a director.

“Look, taken by themselves, the Coke clue isn’t conclusive, nor is the passageways thing, or the directing thing,” said Gran. “But together? I think you need to take a long, hard look at Emerald. I think she’s our killer.”

Odelia nodded slowly. Gran was right, and so were the cats. Taken together, Emerald was starting to look more and more like the person they’d been looking for.

“Those voices we heard last night?” said Max. “That must have been Emerald and Pete. And if Shauna came to deliver the note, and slip it under the door, Emerald could have seen her, and known the jig was up.”

“This is all very circumstantial,” said Odelia, gesturing to the tablet and the phone. “So how do we prove it?”

Gran smiled.“That’s up to you, honey. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You are, after all, a great detective, if I say so myself.” She picked up her phone. “And now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment with a mani-pedi person.” As she got up, she added, “First rule of show business: if you want to get the part, you have to look the part.” And with these words, she was off.

“I think Gran would make a great diva,” said Dooley.

“Yeah, she definitely has the personality for it,” Max agreed.

Odelia found herself staring at the Coke can, and more specifically Emerald’s face. “So how do I prove that you’re the one?” she muttered.

Chapter 37

I wasn’t entirely happy with the role I’d been given in this, Odelia’s idea for finally figuring out if Emerald was the person who’d killed her colleague. And I could tell that Dooley wasn’t too thrilled with her idea either.

Harriet, on the other hand, was super-excited. Not only had she discovered the telling clue—the one clue that ruled them all, so to speak—but she’d been cast for a vital role in the next part of the drama. Brutus, of course, felt that his part was the most important one, and didn’t stop reminding us of this.

“Look at it this way, guys,” he said, spreading himself on the foot of the bed as if he owned it. “There are fighters in this world, and then there are pussies. You guys,” he said, indicating me and Dooley, “are pussies, and so are you, darling,” he added with a smile to Harriet. “Butin a good way.”

“Thanks, sugar plum,” she cooed.

“Let me guess,” I said. “And you’re a fighter, right?”

“You got it, Maxie, baby. I’ve got the strength, I’ve got the speed, and I’ve got the stamina to see this thing through. You guys, on the other hand, do not.” He poked my belly. “Will you look at that? Pure flab. And you,” he said, touching Dooley’s non-existent belly, “skin and bones. Now feel my belly. Go on, give it a poke.”

I gave him a very enthusiastic poke that made him wince.

“Feel that?” he said. “Pure muscle. Human males may boast about their six-pack abs, but I’ve got them all beat. I’ve got twelve-pack abs!”

“Twelve-pack abs?” This was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard.

“Sure! With a cat like me you get two for the price of one. Twice the killer instinct, twice the fatal attraction, and of course… twice the six-pack.”

“Two six-packs. Really.”

“Hey—Maxie can count! Congratulations, buddy!”

Brutus was obviously his usual obnoxious self again. I should have been thrilled but I wasn’t. I preferred Brutus when he was down and out for the count. At least he wasn’t as insufferable as he was now.

“So to tell you the truth I don’t know what you guys are doing here. I told Odelia I can handle this and I can!”

We were in Odelia and Chase’s room, where Odelia was currently holed up in bed, pretending to be fast asleep. I wasn’t entirely sanguine about the whole setup, and Brutus babbling on and on didn’t make me feel any better about it.

“Can you guys please be quiet?” finally asked Odelia. “You’re going to scare her off.”

“Action hero,” Brutus whispered, pointing to himself. “Pussy,” he added, giving me a final prod. “No offense, buddy.”

“None taken,” I muttered.

Time crept by ever so slowly, and I had the feeling we’d been there for hours and hours already.

“I have to tinkle,” said Harriet suddenly. “Can I go tinkle?”

“Of course you can go tinkle,” said Odelia. “But make it quick.”

Harriet hopped off the bed.

“I have to go, too,” said Dooley. “Can I go, too?”

“Oh, Dooley,” said Odelia with a sigh.

The unfortunate thing was that Gran, due to space constraints, had only brought along a single litter box. And since she hadn’t really paid a lot of attention she’d simply grabbed the first one she saw, which, of course, was Harriet’s. And since Harriet is always very prissy about her litter box, now each time we wanted to go we had to ask her permission.

“Harriet, can I go tinkle?!” Dooley yelled.

“Yes, but only if you tinkle inside the box,” Harriet yelled back. “No tinkling on the carpet. And don’t you dare tinkle on the side of the box! No spillage!”

“I never tinkle on the side,” said Dooley.

I sometimes tinkle on the side, but that’s because I’m so big. Hey, it’s not that I have bad aim, but they make these litter boxes awfully small.

Harriet returned and gave Dooley a censorious look.“Don’t tinkle on my tinkle spot,” she warned him. “That tinkle spot is my tinkle spot alone.”

“Yes, Harriet,” he said dutifully.

And of course when one cat has to go, they all have to go, so the moment Dooley returned it was my turn to go, quickly followed by Brutus.

“I think I need to go number two,” Brutus said.

“No way,” Harriet said. “Hold it in.”

“I can’t!”

“Odelia!” Harriet cried. “Please change the litter in my litter box as soon as Brutus is done.”

“I’m not going to change the litter in your litter box each time one of you does number two,” said Odelia, starting to sound as if she was in a bad mood.

“Then you should have brought more than one litter box,” said Harriet.

“I didn’t even invite you guys here!” said Odelia. “This was all your idea!”

“Oh, for crying out loud, will you stop bickering!” a voice sounded from inside the wall.

It was Gran.

“I’m getting rheumatism from sitting on this chair for so long and I’m going deaf from all the bickering. When is this killer going to show her face?!”

“I’m not even sure she will show her face!” Odelia yelled back.

“I’m going to bed,” said Gran. “This is ridiculous.”

“Yeah, Ma, you better go to bed,” another voice piped up, also from inside the wall. It was Uncle Alec. Like Gran and Odelia and the rest of us, he was waiting for the killer to finally make a move and show her face.

“Why? Don’t you think I can do this?” asked Gran.

“You just said you want to go to bed, so go to bed already!”

“Well, I changed my mind. I’m staying put.”

“Stay put, go to bed, I don’t care—but can you please be quiet?!” Uncle Alec bellowed. “You’re scaring off the killer!”

“Well, she’s not going to show her face if you all keep bickering,” said Gran.

“Can you all just please shut the hell up?!” Chase said. He was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, conveniently cloaked in darkness.

“You shut up,” said Gran. “You’re not even supposed to be here.”

“That was for the sake of the killer, Ma,” said Uncle Alec. “Chase is part of the plan.”

“And what a plan it is,” she muttered. “Okay, fine, I’ll shut up,” she added when her son cleared his throat menacingly.

“Wow,” said Brutus, finally returning from his bathroom break. “Don’t go near the litter box if you don’t want to suffocate.”

“Brutus, eww!” Harriet cried.

“Yeah, Brutus,” I said. “Too much information.”

“Cats,” said Dooley. “Twice the fun. Twice the smell.”

We all laughed at that, until Gran bellowed,“Quiet!”

All was quiet, then, and soon I could hear the slow, even breathing of Odelia, as she drifted off to sleep. From inside the wall, I could hear Uncle Alec’s soft snores, and Gran’s louder snores, and from Chase’s position I could tell he’d had a visit from the sandman, too.

“Sounds like they’ve all gone to sleep,” said Harriet.

“Pussies,” said Brutus. “Humans are pussies.”

“So where is this killer?” asked Dooley.

“No idea,” I said. “Maybe she won’t even come.”

“Bummer,” muttered Brutus, rubbing his twelve-pack.

Nothing stirred, and soon even Brutus and Harriet had dozed off, and finally Dooley. According to my inner clock it was way past midnight, and I had a feeling this killer wasn’t going to show up. So I closed my eyes and got ready for a healing nap myself, when suddenly a soft noise alerted me that something was up.

My eyes picked up movement in a corner of the room: the secret door had swung open and a person, clad in black from top to toe, had crept into the room. I gulped slightly as I watched the figure creep up to the bed. For a moment they simply stood there, watching on, and taking in the scene, then, when they were satisfied the coast was clear, they picked up a pillow from the bed and moved in on Odelia.

It was only when the pillow was pushed down on Odelia’s face that I finally managed to overcome my temporary paralysis and jerk into action: I produced the loudest protracted yowl I was capable of, and then I was hurling myself at Odelia’s attacker, claws outstretched, zooming through the air like a regular feline Bruce Lee…

Chapter 38

Odelia’s eyes shot open the moment the pillow touched her face. She jerked upright, and for a moment was dazed and confused. In spite of her best intentions she’d fallen asleep, and it took her mind a few seconds to get with the program.

There was a dark-clad figure screaming on the bed, and she could hear sounds of hissing and tearing of cloth. She quickly switched on the light and found herself the witness of an unusual scene: Max was fighting a nighttime marauder, who was making valiant attempts to ward off this feline attack!

The noise of the fight must have alerted the others, for suddenly the room was ablaze with light and movement, as Chase descended upon the bed, and from all sides, it seemed, the walls opened and Gran and Uncle Alec came running up. The cats, too, were wide awake, and were helping Max defeat this attacker by digging their claws into him or her.

But Chase was already subduing the person, and when Odelia said,“It’s okay, Max—Max, you can let go now,” he retracted his claws and retreated.

Chase, meanwhile, had stripped off the attacker’s balaclava, revealing the face of… Abbey Moret!

“Abbey?” Odelia said. “What the hell…”

“Let go of me, you big brute!” Abbey said, then found herself looking into the faces of Uncle Alec and Gran, who were equally stunned.

“She was trying to kill you, Odelia,” said Max. “She was trying to put a pillow over your face and choke you.”

“So it was you,” said Odelia, still shocked. “You killed Kimberlee.”

Abbey blew a strand of blond hair from her brow, then examined a nasty cut on her arm, where Max must have dug his teeth in.

“Those cats of yours are wild!” she complained. “You should keep them on a leash, like a normal person.”

“My cats just saved my life,” said Odelia, her heart still beating a mile a minute, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

“You had no clue, did you?” said Abbey bitterly. “When you went around during dinner, proclaiming you knew who killed Kimberlee and were going to reveal it to the cops in the morning. You were simply bluffing.”

“I was,” Odelia conceded. “But it worked, didn’t it? You’re here.”

“Yeah, I’m here, and so are your cronies,” she said, subjecting Chase, Gran and Uncle Alec to some particularly nasty side-eye.

“Better start talking,” said Uncle Alec. “Why did you kill Kimberlee?”

For a moment it seemed as if Abbey was going to hold out, but then she relented.“Oh, I guess it’s no use. Kimberlee was inching her way to the top by any means necessary, and one of those means was my precious husband.”

“Seger? This is about Seger?” asked Odelia, surprised.

Abbey nodded.“He’s one of the top talent agents in the business. He makes or breaks careers and Kimberlee wanted him to make hers. Only he didn’t think she had what it took so he declined to take her on as his client. So she hired a private detective to dig around in his past and found some damaging little thing he did years and years ago. If he wouldn’t launch her into the big time, she was going to expose it and destroy his life and, in the process, probably mine, too, as these things have a habit of spreading like wildfire and taking down everyone who’s tainted by association.”

“What secret?” asked Odelia.

She frowned and shook her head, indicating she wasn’t prepared to tell them.

“We’ll find out,” said Alec.

“I’ll bet you will,” Abbey said ruefully. “Kimberlee had Seger in her pocket and was starting to make some frankly unreasonable demands. If he kept pushing her his own career was going to suffer. Everyone complained about Kimberlee, on every set of every project she got involved in, and it was starting to affect the way people viewed Seger. This is a business of trust. If Seger pushes an actress who can’t deliver and makes a nuisance of herself wherever she goes, people are going to start asking questions, and pretty soon she was going to drag my husband down with her. So I did whatI had to do.”

“You set up the meeting and you killed her.”

Abbey nodded.“It wasn’t hard. I hated her guts with a vengeance. Not only did she use Seger, but she also came on to him, and when he refused, started pestering him even more. She was a jerk.”

“Where did you get the cyanide?”

“On a movie set in Lithuania a couple of months ago. The sound guy was former Russian intelligence. He had a couple of cyanide pills from his days in the service and gave them to me as a present. In case I ever got fed up with my director. He only said it half in jest. The director on that shoot really was a terrible pest. So I put some of that cyanide in a Coke can and gave it to Kimberlee. She loved Coke Emerald, and especially since this was from Emerald’s personal stash, which has just that extra kick the others lack.”

“How did you get your hands on that can?”

“Emerald gave it to me—in fact she gave each of us a can of Special Coke Emerald: Kimberlee, me, Verna, Alina… So when I was in there, I offered Kimberlee mine and then when she was dead, I took hers so people would simply figure she’d killed herself.”

“How did you get her to drink it?”

“She was a Coke addict. Easily downed a gallon a day. I went in there to talk about a new project Seger was setting up for her—she was eager to direct her own movie and he’d found a producer who was willing to take a chance on her—and to discuss the stuff that had just gone down with Alina.I said I hated Alina as much as she did, and she just gobbled it up. Started thinking up ways and means of murdering Alina in the most gruesome way possible. Ironically enough she was drinking a lethal dose of cyanide as she sat there fantasizing about killing Alina.”

“How did you know about the secret passageways?”

“Emerald showed them to us last year. Said we could use them to sneak into each other’s rooms for slumber parties and if we got tired of our husbands.”

“What about Shauna?”

She frowned.“Who?”

“The maid you pushed down the stairs.”

“Oh, that.” She shrugged. “I think she saw me. She was in my room when I stepped out of the wall, right after Kimberlee was killed. It probably didn’t take her long to put two and two together. So when I saw her shove that note under your door I just figured it was time to end her. So I did.”

It was hard to believe that a woman who appeared so utterly sweet and kind could turn out to be such a ruthless killer, Odelia thought.

“And to think I liked you,” she said finally.

“Oh, but I like you, too, honey,” said Abbey, putting a hand on Odelia’s arm. “But it’s every woman for herself in this business. And it was pretty obvious to me you knew something, so you had to be silenced.”

“It was you and Seger I heard talking last night, wasn’t it? You were saying how careful you’d been and he was expressing his concern.”

“Yeah, Seger knew, of course. Hard to keep something like that a secret from your husband. I caught him staring at pictures of Kimberlee yesterday. Can you believe that? His tormentor and blackmailer. Apparently he’d developed a crush on her after all. Stockholm syndrome, maybe. Anyway, he was worried somebody would find out. Seger has always been a worrier,” she said with a wistful smile. “He’s not going to be happy I got caught.” She frowned. “And by a bunch of stupid cats.”

Chapter 39

We were finally home again, and seated on our favorite porch in Marge and Tex’s leafy backyard. The sun was setting, but the day was still nice and warm, and our favorite humans had all gathered for a Poole family tradition. A nice grill was sizzling, Tex had strapped on his apron and was officiating the grill, and Marge and Gran had just brought out the coleslaw and potato salad and if I knew Marge, a chocolate cake was in the fridge. Us cats were also in for a treat, as we got to snack on morsels of real meat for a change, as opposed to our kibble and wet food pouches that were our usual menu.

“I still don’t get it,” said Dooley. “Why would Abbey go to all this trouble—risk her career and her life—to get rid of Kimberlee?”

“Because Kimberlee had a secret she held over her husband’s head like the sword of Damocles,” I said. When Dooley gave me a blank look, I explained, “Kimberlee was blackmailing Seger with a secret from his past.”

“I know all about that—but what secret could be so big to make him do what she told him to?”

“Uncle Alec figured that out,” I said as I chewed on a tasty veal patty. “Apparently Seger was involved in a hit-and-run accident when he was a teenager. His dad was a prosecutor at the time and managed to bury the police report. Kimberlee had gotten wind of it and threatened to reveal the truth. It would have killed Seger’s career and tarnished that of his dad. So he preferred to take Kimberlee on as a client rather than have her destroy his career.”

“She was not a nice person,” said Dooley judiciously.

“No, she was not.”

“I solved the case,” said Harriet, who was lying next to me. “I actually cracked this case. I’m the one who found the telling clue.”

“Well, it wasn’t exactly the telling clue,” I said, then, when she gave me a censorious look, I quickly changed my tune. “It was a very important clue.”

It was true. In a roundabout way it had led to the killer.

“I’m just glad it wasn’t Emerald that did it,” said Harriet. “I love Emerald. She’s one of the biggest stars in the world. I hope she’ll never stop acting.”

“I bet she won’t,” I said. “A woman like Emerald can keep on acting until she’s standing with one foot in the grave, and even then she’ll make it fascinating to watch.”

Out in the backyard, Chase was darting occasional looks in our direction, then shaking his head, a bemused grin on his face.

“I still can’t believe you can actually talk to your cats,” he told Odelia.

“You bet we can,” said Marge, as she ladled more potato salad on her plate and dug in. “It’s a blessing. How many cases have you solved this way, Odelia? A dozen? More?”

“Probably,” Odelia said as she kept a close eye on her dad, who was spacing out again, at risk of allowing his burgers to burn to crisps.

“It’s a blessing, and a curse,” said Gran. “A blessing because it’s a lot of fun to listen to those sweethearts and their conversation—they’re like a bunch of toddlers—they just crack me up each time they open their little mouths.”

“You know we can hear you, right?” I said.

She held up her hand.“And a curse because they just won’t stop yacking. Day and night, they just go on and on and on. Yackety yackety yak. No end.”

“That’s it,” Harriet snapped. “I’m not saying another word.”

“Do we talk too much?” asked Brutus.

“Some of you talk more than others,” Gran said, then pointed a finger at Harriet. “I’m not pointing fingers.”

“Sheis pointing fingers, though,” said Dooley.

“It’s a human thing,” I said. “They say one thing and mean something entirely different.”

“It’s very confusing.”

“It is confusing,” I agreed.

“I wish they wouldn’t do that.”

“Just let it go, Dooley.”

“But I don’t get it.”

“See?” said Gran. “What did I tell you? Yackety-yak.”

“It’s fun, though,” said Marge. “They’re so much fun.”

“I know, right!” said Gran. “That’s my problem. I can’t deny those furballs a thing. Anything they want, I give them. They’re my Achilles heel.”

Chase had wandered over and took a seat on the swing next to us.“So tell me, what do they say about me? Do they like me? Hate me? What?”

Marge and Odelia shared a look.“You don’t want to know,” said Marge.

“They think you’re a great guy,” said Uncle Alec.

“And how would you know?” said Gran. “You don’t understand a word they say.”

“I can tell from the expression on their faces,” said Uncle Alec, taking a swig from his beer.

We all looked up at Chase, and I said reverently,“We think Chase is amazing.”

“We think he’s Jesus,” said Dooley. “But without the sheep.”

“He saved my life once,” I said. “No, twice. Or is it three times?”

“He’s the hunkiest male I’ve ever met,” said Brutus. “Definitely not a pussy or a girly man like most. A man’s man.”

“Whatever that means,” said Harriet with an eyeroll.

“It means he’s my hero,” said Brutus.

“I thought your hero was Caitlyn Jenner?” said Harriet. “You were going to change yourself into a woman, remember?”

“Oh, that was just a whim,” said Brutus with a gesture of his paw.

“I wonder if Chase is neutered, just like we are,” said Dooley now.

“He doesn’t look neutered,” said Brutus.

“How can you tell?” asked Harriet.

“I’ve seen him without his clothes,” Brutus revealed. “He doesn’t look neutered to me. He still has all his… assets. And they’re quite formidable.”

Harriet’s eyes lit up with a renewed fervor. “He’s not Jesus,” she said now, reverently. “The man is a God. A superhero.”

“Hey, and what am I? Chopped liver?”

“You’re a demi-god, okay?” she snapped.

“I should have listened to Kingman,” Brutus grumbled. “He told me there’s a shop where they sell Neuticles.”

“They sell what now?” I asked.

“Neuticles. Prosthetic testicular implants. They’re made of silicone and look just like the real thing. They make them for neutered male pets, so they wouldn’t feel so bad about having their appendages removed.”

“Oh, just grow a pair,” said Harriet, shaking her head.

“That’s just it—I can’t. But I can buy a pair.”

“Oh, my god,” she groaned.

“It’s a thing!” said Brutus.

“Brutus, baby, when are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that I don’t care what you’re packing? It’s you I love, not your equipment.”

“Oh, honey lamb,” he said, mollified.

“Oh, snuggle pooh,” she said.

Kissing ensued, and both Dooley and I rolled our eyes and looked away.

“If this is what birds and bees do, I’m not sure I want to know about it,” Dooley said.

“I hear you, Dooley,” I said. “I hear you.”

“So?” said Chase blithely. “What’s the verdict? Do they like me or do they like me?”

But Marge, Odelia and Gran were too busy rolling on the floor laughing.

That’s one other thing us cats have: apart from the gift of the gab, we make people laugh.

And isn’t that the greatest gift of all?