Purrfectly Flealess

Chapter 11

That night we all took our positions on Odelia’s sofas, Harriet and Brutus snuggling together on the love seat, Dooley and I side by side next to Odelia, and Chase right next to her. The TV had been switched on, and the movie selection had been made.

After the stirring events of the past few days, a nice movie night was exactly what we needed. Harriet seemed herself again, and had handled the confrontation with Diego perfectly, Odelia had checked us all for fleas and had declared us flea-free once more, and things were finally settling back into their usual routine, just the way I liked it.

“I still can’t believe Diego was Patient Zero,” said Dooley. “I mean, I really thought we’d seen the last of that cat.”

“I think now we may have,” I said.

Harriet had told Marge about her encounter with the fleabag, and Marge had called her brother Chief Alec who’d called Kitty Nala and told her to give her cat the necessary anti-flea treatment or else he’d never allow him to set paw in Hampton Cove again. I didn’t think any chief of police could ban a cat from his territory, but still. After word had spread that Diego was Patient Zero, the number of Hampton Cove cats willing to step into his ‘Love Symbol’ limo had dwindled and by now had reached the nice number of... zero.

“So what movie are we watching?” asked Chase, stretching his long legs.

“I think you’re going to like this one,” said Odelia. “Grandma picked it.”

Chase started. “Grandma? I thought she was staying with your mom tonight.”

“I changed my mind,” said Grandma, joining us from the kitchen, two big bowls of popcorn in her arms. “You kids need watching, and I for one am not prepared to forgo my sacred duty just because Marge invited me to talk about moving back in with her.”

Chase gave Odelia a look of despair. “I thought... that was a done deal?”

“Oh, you thought you’d get rid of me that easy, huh?” said Grandma. “Like it or not, young Chase, I’m here to stay and keep those hormones of yours in check. Now scoot.” And she wedged herself in between her granddaughter and Chase, much to the latter’s dismay.

“So what movie did you pick?” asked Brutus, taking a break from nuzzling Harriet.

“Oh, it’s a corker,” Gran said. “You’ll love it. It’s even got cats in it.”

Dooley nudged me excitedly. “It’s got cats in it, Max! I love movies with cats in it!”

We all love movies with cats in it. The more the merrier. But as we watched, the first indication that the movie might not be what we’d anticipated came five minutes in, when a bunch of scary-looking spiders bit their human to death in a terribly graphic scene.

“What’s the name of this movie, Gran?” asked Odelia with a worried frown.

“Eight Legged Freaks,” said Gran. “There’s this great scene where a kitty cat has a fight with this big-ass spider and they both get electrocuted. Ya gotta see it to believe it!”

She was right. You had to see it to believe it. All through the movie those ‘big-ass spiders’ chased a bunch of humans all over town and even into some old mining shafts, until the heroes of the movie killed all the spiders and then the cavalry showed up and the movie was over. And while I love movie night at Odelia’s, this was not a movie I’d care to remember. Dooley, who’d kept his eyes closed throughout most of the carnage—especially after the death of Zeke, the kitty cat in question, now opened them again.

“Is it finished?”

“Yeah, it’s finished.”

“Did Zeke survive?”

“Um...”

He shivered. “Imagine what would happen if those tiny little fleas grew into giant fleas, just like in the movie. Imagine what they would do to us, Max. They’d eat us alive!”

“I don’t think I want to imagine, Dooley. Especially after watching this movie.”

“They would start eating cats, humans, dogs—everything!”

“It’s just a movie, Dooley. And Zeke is just an actor playing a part. I’m sure he’s fine.”

But Dooley had stopped listening. “Maybe Kingman was right, and Diego works for the government, and he’s here to kill all of Hampton Cove’s cats. By creating monster fleas! That’s why he was crawling with fleas—because he’s creating a new race of killer fleas!”

And as Grandma turned in for the night, happy with the damage she’d done, and Chase and Odelia moved to the back porch, to canoodle on the porch swing far from Gran’s watchful eye, and Brutus and Harriet moved into the backyard, presumably to do the same, I was stuck with Dooley spouting new and crazy conspiracy theories and other horror stories.

And you know what? I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

This was my family. This was my home. And if this whole episode had taught me one thing it was that the things that don’t kill us make us stronger. Like the fleas. And like Diego. Or even a Deep State conspiracy that engages a Love Symbol in a white limo to harbor and foster giant killer fleas to wipe out all the cats in the country and possibly even the world.

I patted Dooley on the head. “I’m going to sleep now.”

“But the fleas!”

“I don’t care.”

“They’re here!”

“So be it.”

“But Max!”

I yawned. Put down my head. And slept.

Sleep came. And so did dreams. And guess what?

No fleas. Not even teeny-tiny little ones.

The flea episode? Was finally over.