Pyramids

6

Teppic’s examination is heavily modelled on the British Driving test, which, as with the other important tests in British life such as 16- and 18-plus exams, undergraduate finals, and doctoral vitas is not actually intended to test whether you are actually any good at what is being tested, concentrating instead on your proficiency at following arbitrary instructions.

Many of the elements of a driving test are present in the passages which follow: The short list of questions, the sign on a small card (often held upside down), the clipboard. Mericet’s rather stilted language, “Now, I want you to proceed at your own pace towards the Street of Book-keepers, obeying all signs and so forth”, is almost a direct parody, as is the little speech at the end of the test. The ‘Emergency Drop’ (p. 42/42) is the ‘Emergency Stop’, where you have to stop the car “as if a child has run out into the road, while keeping control of the vehicle at all times”. Finally, the back of the Highway Code has a table with minimum vehicle stopping distances, which examiners almost never ask about.