Chapter Twelve

Bethany stood in the shower, letting the hot water flow over her. Her skin was still sensitive and each droplet felt like a hot stroke, making her nerve endings tingle. The water also hid the tears that rolled down her cheeks. They hadn’t found Chrissten and the attempt had almost cost Quinn his life. If the other werewolf hadn’t backed off Quinn could have been seriously hurt or killed. They were half-breeds, not purebloods.

The violence of the fight between the two wolves had shaken her to her core. It had been brutal and efficient, each trying to kill the other. This was no game, but a deadly battle where both strived to be the only one standing at the end, the undisputed victor. She shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms.

Was this what she had to look forward to for the rest of her life? Would she always be looking over her shoulder to see if some creature or mad scientist or bounty hunter was after her?

She raised her face to the spray and let it wash away her tears. At least she was safe and alive. That was more than Chrissten had.

A draft wafted over her skin and she felt someone step into the shower behind her. Quinn. She knew he’d seek her out, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to face him yet.

It was hard to act nonchalant and adult about their relationship. When he’d been attacked she’d realized just how much she loved him. She could handle the less than pleasant aspects of her new life if she had Quinn beside her.

But he was apparently only temporary. Once this was over they’d probably both go their opposite ways. After all, he’d mated her to help her and because he wanted her, not because he loved her.

Large hands rested on her shoulders. “How are you doing?”

That should be her line. “I’m fine. You?”

“Yeah.”

How stilted the conversation was between them. She didn’t like it but didn’t know how to change it. She turned to face him and her attention immediately went to his arm. She knew he’d been hurt, but she hadn’t seen how badly since he’d wrapped his shirt around the wound on the ride home.

But he was naked now and it was easy to see the six-inch gash on his upper arm. The ends had already begun to knit together thanks to the fast-healing genes of his werewolf heritage, but it still looked red and inflamed.

“Oh, Quinn.” She reached for his arm and maneuvered it so the hot spray hit it, cleansing away the dried blood.

“It’s really okay, Bethany. Just a scratch.”

“This time,” she countered.

He sighed and grabbed the cake of soap out of the dish and began to wash. “What would you have me do? Give up the search for my sister? Run instead of fight?”

She shook her head. “No.” Running away wasn’t in his nature. He’d keep searching for Chrissten no matter how long it took to find her. That was one of the things she loved about him. To those he loved, Quinn was loyal to the bone.

He soaped his chest and under his arms. Bubbles combined with water and the mixture ran down his abs, groin and legs.

Heat rushed through Bethany with the speed of an avalanche. The feeling was sudden and all consuming. She bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning.

Quinn jerked his head toward her and his shaft stirred. He slowly rubbed the soap between his hands, getting them nice and lathered before he dumped the wet bar back into the dish. He moved closer to her, his cock brushed against her belly.

They really needed to talk. Now wasn’t the time for this, but she didn’t care. They’d been interrupted before and there’d been no time for tenderness after their mating. She wanted that now. Craved it with every fiber of her being.

Quinn didn’t disappoint.

He started at her neck and rubbed his soapy hands over her skin. His touch was so gentle and light. Barely there. But she felt it throughout her entire body.

He traced her collarbone and then went lower. Her breasts ached for his touch, nipples puckering. He cupped the mounds in his hands, rubbing his slick thumbs over the hard nubs.

Her breathing increased in speed with each passing second. The scent of lavender from the soap permeated the air and combined with the water vapor surrounding them to create a steamy paradise. Bethany inhaled deeply, drinking in the intoxicating scent of flower and male combined.

His hands slid down her torso and she groaned when his fingers grazed her hips and his hands palmed her ass, squeezing the firm globes.

“You are so damn sweet,” he muttered. He went down on his knees in front of her and Bethany forgot to breathe when Quinn parted her slick folds with his fingers and stared at her pussy. “So sweet.”

He leaned inward and lapped at the swollen lips. She slapped her hands against the cool, damp tiles, needing the extra support as her knees went weak. Quinn continued his languid exploration, seemingly in no hurry at all.

His tongue glided over and around her, tracing every crevice, every cranny. But he avoided the spot where she wanted his touch the most. “Quinn.” She could hear the need in her voice, the demand.

He nuzzled her pubic hair and breathed deep. “I want this to last.”

She bit her tongue, wanting to yell that it could last if they stayed together. Instead she thrust her hips forward, encouraging him to give her what he would give her. His touch.

He tongued her clit, circling the hard nub of nerves. Her hips circled, moving with him as she tried to get the maximum sensation from his intimate caress. She was wet and it was from more than the water cascading down around them. Cream, hot and thick, slicked her core. She cupped her breasts in her hands to soothe the aching in them. Her skin felt hot and tight.

Quinn pressed his tongue against her clit and she groaned. “So good,” she murmured.

He closed his lips around the bud and sucked lightly, all the while teasing her with his tongue. The air around them seemed to crackle with power. Bethany leaned back against the wall and let Quinn pleasure her. She needed his touch so badly. Wanted to feel close to him even if it was only in a physical way.

He pressed two thick fingers into her channel, stretching it as he widened them. She gasped, wanting even more. He curled his fingers inward as he removed them, finding her sweet spot.

She cried his name as her orgasm hit. Her body quivered with delight as it clenched around his fingers, soaking them with her essence.

He growled and surged to his feet. The patient lover was gone. In his place was a man ready to claim his woman.

He gripped her hips and lifted, his strength a complete turn on. He shifted them so she wasn’t so close to the spray from the showerhead and the cool tile hit her back, making it arch. He crowded between her thighs, spreading them wide. He didn’t wait, didn’t hesitate.

His cock was thick and hard as he pushed it into her swollen channel that still pulsated from her climax. The going was rough, but he kept up a steady pressure, stretching her until he was seated inside.

Bethany clutched at his hair and shoulders, glorying in the feel of his thick muscles rippling beneath her hands. She was filled with him, poised on the edge of another orgasm. He growled again, fisted her hair in his hand and took her mouth.

It wasn’t a kiss, tender and sweet. He ate at her lips, dueled with her tongue and claimed her mouth as his prize. He took her breath and gave her his.

She wanted him more than she wanted anything else in the world. They fit perfectly. Together they were stronger than they were apart. She could see that. Why couldn’t he?

Her heart ached even as her body responded to his short, fast thrusts. His desperation surrounded her. His need galvanized her. She undulated her hips, moving with him, taking him as deep as he could go.

Every time he filled her it was like the first time. Every time he withdrew, she dug her fingers into his flesh, pulling him back into her.

“Bethany,” he yelled as he peppered her face with hot kisses. His cock swelled and she felt his hot essence fill her. He ground his pelvis against her, stimulating her clit and setting off another round of spasms within her.

She clung to him, never wanting to let him go, but knowing she must. They couldn’t stay in the shower forever, no matter how much she wanted to. She tilted her head back and gasped for air. It was only now with their passion starting to cool she realized the water had gone cold. The second she shivered, Quinn stirred. He released her slowly, making certain she was steady on her feet before withdrawing completely.

In silence they rinsed off and she stepped out of the shower, letting Quinn turn off the taps. The dripping of the faucet in the tub sounded like the pounding of a drum corp. The slight scuffing sound of the towels against their skin and the occasional sigh punctuated the rhythm of the slowing trickle of water.

Quinn made quite the sensual picture with water droplets clinging to his muscular chest. Several of them slowly rolled down his tight abs to his groin, disappearing into the dark nest of hair. He was still semi-aroused.

Bethany’s core pulsed in response to his partial erection. She was becoming a sex maniac. She’d be glad when she was no longer in heat and felt as though she had some control over her body. Or maybe it would always be like this with Quinn. She had no idea.

She didn’t dawdle and quickly dried off before hurrying into the bedroom to dig some clean clothing out of one of the dresser drawers. Once again it was borrowed clothing, but she was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Bethany.” She had clean panties on by the time he said her name. She pulled on her T-shirt, not bothering with her bra before turning to face him. Her nipples were still erect and pressed against the soft fabric. As armor went, it wasn’t much, but she felt better with the small barrier between them. It was time to start rebuilding her emotional walls before it was too late. She feared it already was.

“Yes?”

He was naked except for the white towel he had slung around his neck. She wished he’d wrap it around his waist and cover himself. There was too much tempting real estate for her to view. His cock was bigger than it had been even moments ago, his legs were heavily muscled and strong, his chest powerfully built and lightly furred, his shoulders broad.

The gash on his arm was closed but it still needed some antibacterial cream and could stand to be wrapped. Not that she thought for one moment Quinn would bother with either. She itched to do it for him, but made herself stay where she was. She wasn’t his mate. Not really.

He motioned to the bed. “Sit down. Please.” He raked his fingers through his hair. It looked darker when it was wet, but she knew it would dry much lighter.

She perched on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to Chrissten in time.” That had to be eating at him.

Sorrow bled from him and he lowered his head. “Me too.” His chest expanded on a sigh. He came to stand in front of her and crouched down so they were eye to eye.

“I know this isn’t fair to you.”

Oh God, he was going to sever their ties now. “It’s okay.” She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. In her heart she still hoped to find a way to make him love her. Which was stupid. True love meant loving without conditions. It meant giving the other person what they truly needed.

Unable to stop herself, Bethany reached out and combed an unruly lock of hair off his forehead. “It’s okay,” she repeated.

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. You deserve better than me.”

“Isn’t that my decision?” she countered.

He gave her a rueful smile and his eyes lightened briefly before turning darker again. “I didn’t tell you everything about myself before we mated. I took advantage of you. I took what I wanted without allowing you a chance to get to know the other males. It was wrong.”

Anger began to burn low in her gut. Did he truly think she was that spineless? That stupid. “Actually, it’s the other way around. I took advantage of you. I took what you were offering because it was what I wanted.”

Bethany slid off the bed and began to pace. “I had plenty of time to spend with the other males. I’m not blind. I know that both Michael and Benjamin are interested in me. Hank isn’t at all, not really, and Kevin could be with very little prompting on my part.”

Quinn stood. His eyes flared red for a moment and claws took the place of his fingernails. Didn’t like that, did he? Too damn bad. She wasn’t done yet.

“No, I don’t know everything about you, but you don’t know everything about me either. That’s what relationships are all about.”

“But we’re mated,” he growled. She could see him struggle as he reined in his wolf. His eyes went back to their normal blue and his fingernails shortened once again.

She shrugged. “That’s only temporary, according to you. I’m free to fuck any male I want once we’re done.”

For a moment she was afraid she’d pushed him too far. He pounced, grabbing her around the waist and taking her down to the bed in one motion. He poised over her, teeth bared. Fury poured off him in waves, but she wasn’t the least bit afraid he’d physically hurt her. It was her emotional state she was more concerned about.

“You’re mine.”

“Until you get tired of me,” she pointed out. After all, wasn’t this simply a mating of convenience? Damn, she sounded like some simpering virgin from a historical romance novel.

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the anguish in his gaze. It wasn’t his fault that she loved him and he didn’t love her. He’d done what he thought was the best thing for her. But this situation wasn’t helping either of them. “Get off me.”

“No.” His blunt reply had her eyes flying open. His large body covered hers and she could feel his cock pressing against her stomach. Against her will, she felt her body softening, her nipples tightening. It wasn’t fair how easily he could arouse her.

“You’ve got it wrong, baby.” He lowered his head, nuzzling her neck and nipping at the sensitive curve until he drew a husky moan from her. “You’ll get tired of me. You’ll realize you could have any male you want. One who hasn’t lived a lie. One who hasn’t ruthlessly killed for his own gain.”

He kissed her cheeks and temples. “One who can make you his entire focus. One not caught up in a quest that could take years to complete. I can’t ever stop searching for Chris.” He dropped his forehead until it was touching hers. “You deserve better.”

Her heart stopped and then began to pound so hard it hurt. Was he saying what she hoped he was? Was this just his misguided sense of honor setting her free? Did he really want her to stay with him?

“I want you.” The words were almost a whisper, filled with an aching need. “I don’t want any other male.”

He stilled and every muscle in his body tightened. “I want to kill Michael for even thinking about you.” He said the words as if he was ashamed of them. “I’m a violent man.”

She shook her head. “You’re a good man. A strong one. Protective of those you love.” She placed her hand on his chest and felt the strong beat of his heart against her palm. “You didn’t touch Michael.”

“But I wanted to.” He gave a short bark of laughter. “You see the best in me.”

“I see what’s there.” She put her hands on his cheeks, willing him to really listen to her, really hear what she was saying. “From the moment we met, I felt something for you. Call it instinct. Call it whatever you want. We have a connection. Our wolves recognized one another instantly.”

Quinn nodded. “The second I saw you I wanted to throw you over my shoulder, drag you upstairs, strip you naked and never let you go.” His eyes were hot, filled with passion. “Lucky for you, I let you talk first.”

She laughed and couldn’t stop. She laughed so hard tears ran from the corners of her eyes. Totally disgruntled, Quinn rolled off her and lay beside her, his head propped up on his hand. “You really know how to kill a guy’s ego.”

She shook her head and took a deep breath, swiping at the tears in her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Yeah, you waited a long time to get me into bed. Hours at least.”

He grinned. “What can I say? I’m a focused guy when I find something I want.” His grin faded and his blue eyes grew serious. “And I do want you.”

He rested his free hand on her stomach. “When I felt your terror, my heart stopped. I knew you were under attack and I couldn’t stop it.”

“How? How did you know?”

“The connection between us is strong. Even though you didn’t use our mental link to speak to me, your emotions came through loud and clear.” He slipped his hand beneath the hem of her shirt, as though needing to feel the warmth of her skin.

“I thought I’d lost you.” The words were dragged from him. His voice sounded rusty as emotion threatened to choke him.

“Oh, Quinn. The only way you’ll lose me is if you walk away from me.” She paused and dived in headfirst, laying her heart on the line. She prayed he didn’t destroy it. “I love you.”


Quinn couldn’t believe his ears. This beautiful, courageous, giving woman loved him. It couldn’t be true. But the soft gaze in her eyes and her warm hand on his cheek told another story.

He buried his face against the curve of her neck, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She was everything he hadn’t even known he wanted until he’d met her. For him, she was perfect.

He didn’t deserve her and he said as much aloud.

“Why not?” Her voice was filled with compassion.

He spilled the secret fear that had been killing him slowly, poisoning his soul day after day. “How can we be together? How can I be happy when my sister is being held captive? Tortured? I don’t deserve it. Not until she’s rescued. Maybe not even then. I let her down.”

It was all out in the open now. All the venom in his soul had been unleashed. He felt unworthy to be loved by Bethany. Why should he be granted love when there were so many other males who were alone? Males who were more deserving.

“Oh, Quinn.” She held him in her arms, resting her cheek against his heart. It was where he always wanted her to be. The sex between them was off the charts, but it was these quiet moments that he loved, the connection that existed between them on so many levels.

“Do you think Chrissten would want you to be unhappy?” Bethany didn’t give him time to answer. “I didn’t know her for long, but I know she loves you and Craig more than anything. She wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. If anything, she probably feels guilty about being kidnapped. She knows you’ll keep looking for her until you find her. That’s loyalty. That’s love.”

Her words were a balm to his tattered soul.

“I have nightmares.” He blurted out the words before he could stop himself. He’d never told anyone about his dreams.

“About what?” Her voice, like her touch, was so soft and gentle.

“About killing. Blood. Death. My sister. Christ—” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I have flashbacks sometimes, too, to events that actually happened. I’ve done things I’m not proud of.” He lowered his hand and looked at her. “Bethany, I’m totally screwed up.”

Her hazel eyes with their flecks of brown held such compassion it made his heart ache. “I’m screwed up too. I know I haven’t really dealt with the kidnapping. There hasn’t been time. And I’m still freaked out about the whole werewolf thing.”

“You’re amazing.” He dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “Incredible, actually. Not only did you escape—”

“With Chrissten’s help,” she reminded him.

“You got away,” he asserted. “You’ve done what you can to help us find my sister and all while dealing with some pretty heavy shit.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” She shrugged off his praise. “I didn’t do anything special. Anyone in my shoes would have done the same thing. I did what I had to do to survive.”

Bethany placed her palm against his cheek and he soaked in the warmth of her touch. “I know you’re not going to stop looking for her. I wouldn’t want you to. We have to find her and we will. But don’t you think we’ll be stronger together than apart?”

Quinn rolled until she was beneath him again. He rested his weight on his forearms, ignoring the slight sting from the gash on his upper arm. Bethany’s hair was still damp as it spread across the pillow. Her body cradled his. Her eyes were soft with love, her lips slightly parted. He’d never seen her look so beautiful.

Could he take a chance? Could he believe what she was saying? Could she accept the flawed man he was? Did he deserve her love?

“Yes.”

The word was softly spoken in his head. She’d let down her guard and opened herself to him. He hadn’t realized she’d lowered the mental door between them and he’d broadcasted his fears to her. He’d have to watch that in the future.

The future.

Those two words sounded good. A future. One with Bethany by his side and Chrissten home safe and sound.

“I don’t have a home to offer you. I’ve moved around a lot. I don’t even know where home is anymore.” He’d traveled so much with the bounty hunters, never laying down roots. Before that, he and his siblings had lived in a series of cheap apartments. They’d been thinking about pooling their resources and buying a house together when Chrissten had been kidnapped. Right now all their personal belongings were in storage, waiting for a time when they might have a home once again.

“Home is wherever you are, Quinn. Wherever we are.” His heart stilled and swelled at her acceptance of him and his situation. “We’ll find Chrissten. And when we do, the four of us—you, me, Chrissten and Craig—will decide where we want to live. We’ll find a house and make it a home. Maybe it will be here in Chicago. Maybe not. Time will tell.”

God, he loved this woman. She’d come into his life so suddenly. A gift. A hope for the future.

He’d be a fool not to grab onto her with both hands. And he liked to think he was anything but a fool even though he’d been acting like one. He learned from his mistakes and he’d almost made the biggest one of his life. He’d almost let Bethany go. “I love you.”

Her eyes widened and tears filled them.

“Shit. I never said that to make you cry. That’s supposed to make you happy.”

She gave a soggy laugh and swiped at her eyes. “They’re happy tears.”

“Yeah.” He leaned down and licked several of the salty tears away.

“Yeah.” She looped her arms around his neck.

He nudged her thighs open with his and reached between them, angling his erection at the opening to her sex. The silky fabric of her panties presented little barrier, not when he was determined to have her. He ripped away the flimsy material. Being able to manifest a sharp claw on command had its uses.

She was soft and wet and warm. She always was. He’d come to depend on her unconditional acceptance, her welcome.

“Come home.” She tilted her hips toward him and he slid balls deep. Home. It was like home. She was home. His haven in life.

He wanted to be that for her. “I’ll make you happy,” he vowed. He meant it to the bottom of his soul.

“I know you will.” Her easy acceptance humbled him. She was much braver than he was. Able to open herself without reservation.

He began to move, keeping his thrusts slow and shallow. He wanted this to last.

But it wasn’t to be. They were both so on edge, so attuned to one another. He kissed her, tasting the honey of her lips, the sweetness of her tongue.

She opened to him on every level. Body and soul. His climax gathered low in his balls and rocked through his shaft. Her pussy pulsed around him as she came.

Together.

Always together.

They were truly mated. And, the fates willing, they’d be together for centuries to come.

“Bethany,” he called her name out loud and then in his head. When the storm passed, he rolled with her still cradled in his arms until she was on top of him. He closed his eyes and for the first time in many long months fell asleep at peace. He knew the search for his sister was far from over, but he no longer had to face it alone.

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