Rasputin's Shadow

9

Hey.”

It was, I don’t know, three or four in the morning. Really late, in any case. I was lying in, with Tess next to me, asleep, or so I thought, her head still buried in her pillow, her voice no more than a whisper.

“Why are you still up?” Her tone was all warm and dreamy.

I didn’t say anything. I just leaned over and kissed her on the shoulder.

“You worried about something?” she asked.

I gave her another kiss, softly. “Go back to sleep.”

She moaned, equally softly. “I can’t. Not if I know you’re awake.” She sat up a little, propping herself on one elbow. “You thinking about Alex?”

I didn’t answer.

She sighed. “He’s doing better, Sean. But it’s like Stacey says. It’s going to take time.”

I shrugged. “More time since we don’t know what they did exactly.” I turned to face her. “He only gets one childhood. He shouldn’t have to have it ruined like this.”

“It’s not ruined. He’s got you now. And me. And Kim. He’s settling in well at school. He’s going to be fine.” She reached out and stroked my cheek. “I hate seeing you like this. Every week, it’s like our visits to Stacey just bring it all out in you again. You’ve done all you can.”

I just nodded. The plan was still creeping around in my head, feeding on ideas. Growing.

Which Tess spotted.

We’d lived through enough wild adventures together for her to know how my brain worked. It made her sit up a little more and give me that inquisitor’s look.

“Sean. What are you planning?”

If I was going to go ahead with it, I sure as hell wasn’t going to let Tess in on it. Or Aparo, for that matter. In both cases, I didn’t have a choice. Not knowing would protect them, given that I was about to break the law.

With Tess, it was an easy decision. I didn’t tell her everything about the job, and she didn’t necessarily want me to. I didn’t exactly work at Willy Wonka’s, and there was no need to bring that ugliness into our private lives. We’d already had more than our fair share of that. In fact, Tess, who’s an archaeologist, had also recently become a bestselling novelist whose first books were based on some of those wild adventures. I hoped her next oeuvres would come out of her imagination, but knowing her and the kind of stuff she liked digging her nose into, I wasn’t holding my breath.

With Aparo, it was a different matter. Nick was my partner. If and when I ever got to a place where I needed help, there was no one else I’d want riding shotgun with me. But initially, keeping him in the dark would also protect him if it all went belly-up. I knew that when I eventually did tell him, assuming I did go ahead with it, he wouldn’t see it that way at all and he’d be all pissed off at me for not sharing with him from minute one. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” I told Tess.

She gave me the narrowed eyes for a moment longer. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because your imagination’s way too active and the wheels in there are always going loco,” I said, gently tapping her forehead. “Now, go back to sleep.”

She leaned over so her face was inches from mine, and let her body curl into me. “Too late,” she whispered.

I could feel her warm skin on mine-any kind of bedwear was verboten in our household, by mutual decree. It was a lovely and highly addictive feeling that never failed to get all kinds of endorphins going haywire inside me.

“You’re not helping me fall asleep,” I said.

“I wasn’t trying,” she replied as her hand reached over and settled on my chest. “Far from it, truth be told.”

I chuckled, then dove in.

It felt good to give my mind a break and consign everything back to the vault and enjoy the kind of shared, carefree moment that made life worth living. It was also good to let go, since my mind was already made up.

I was going to follow through with my plan.

Regardless of the consequences.