Rebecca’s Cove

Chapter 20

“Okay, think things through. Don’t go off half-assed here.” Baylor drove along in the Jag, talking to herself all the while.

It wasn’t easy to drive with the cast on, but with the lighter walking cast, at least she could operate the pedals.

Baylor turned left down Oceanside Road. The seafood restaurant there was the best on the island and Baylor, in an unusually benevolent moment, had given Juliana that information.

“Okay, when I see her, what do I say? No, don’t get hung up on the words. Just remember, don’t lie, don’t panic, don’t forget to breathe, and whatever you do, don’t throw up on her.”

Baylor saw Hobie’s pickup from a block away. It was parked on the street in front of the restaurant.

“This is it. I don’t even care if she laughs in my face, but I’m going to say my piece and pray. There’s nothing that’s going to stop me this time.”

Baylor pulled over in the shadows about five car lengths behind Hobie’s truck. She watched as Hobie and Juliana left the building laughing, joking, and worst of all, hand in hand. Baylor’s heart sank onto the floor of the Jag. She went from elation to heartbreak in a matter of seconds. Juliana opened the driver’s door for Hobie, bowed, and kissed her hand. The two looked so...happy.

As she looked upon the scene, Baylor’s mood changed. She was tempted to wallow in self-pity. For nearly a full minute, she sat there feeling sorry for herself. Then other emotions kicked in—first jealousy, then anger. The anger was a feeling she could really wrap her teeth around.

Those bitches. They’re acting like I’m not even alive. I don’t believe I ever thought Hobie was such a sweet girl. That tramp’s letting

Jules put her paws wherever she wants. Unbelievable... and I thought Jules was my best friend. Shit! She knew how I felt and she’s still all over Hobie! Some friends...they’re both sluts!

A plan formulated in Baylor’s head at that instant. Later that evening, she looked back and realized that perhaps the plan hadn’t been the best of ideas. However, sitting there in her car, she could think of only one thing to appease her jealous nature. She would follow the two women. She would listen to their conversations, watch their behavior, and confront them. She would confront the Jezebels and throw their own actions into their faces. Baylor would see that, like Hester Prynne, both women ended up with a scarlet A on their chests.

“Treat me like a fucking idiot. We’ll see about that!” Baylor roughly shoved the gearshift and followed the white pickup. “Careful...no need to hurry or lose control,” she said aloud.

If she could have seen herself, Baylor would have stopped the car and turned around or laughed hysterically at her own ludicrous behavior. Instead, like a character in a poorly written spy novel, she followed a short distance behind Hobie’s truck, intent on catching the two women at something.

“Okay, let me get this straight,” Juliana said as she rolled up the sleeves of her blouse. “Up the ramp, bank into the clown’s mouth, then it will roll right down the giraffe’s neck?”

“Exactly!” Hobie clapped. “Give it a shot, come on.”

“Hey, just you try and keep up, hotshot. Three iron,” Juliana ordered as she held out one hand.

“Three iron.” Hobie slapped the handle of a golf club into the other woman’s hand.

Juliana bent her knees and tested the club’s swing before actually hitting the bright orange golf ball.

What in the holy hell are they doing here? Baylor asked herself as she slipped into the brightly lit park. She passed under the sign that said “Ana Lia’s Fantasy Island: Putt-Putt Golf.” Either they’re trying to make this look innocent, or they’ve both slipped a gear or two.

“Like this, right?” Juliana asked.

Hobie smiled at the blonde. Tall and muscular, Juliana had a look of concentration as intense as any Nancy Lopez might have conjured up.

“Wait a minute. Make sure you line it up with the clown’s right eyeball. Here...” Hobie put one arm around Juliana’s waist and ran her right hand along Juliana’s arm and down to her wrist. She didn’t even realize how closely she had her body pressed against Juliana’s back. “Aim right along there.”

Oh, yeah. Tramps on parade. Baylor slipped behind a ten-foot ice cream cone and watched. One date. One fucking date and she’s all over her!

Juliana felt the other woman’s body against her, but even if she had wanted something to happen between them, even if she hadn’t thought of Hobie as Baylor’s girl, she was having too much fun to spoil it with sex or innuendo. She couldn’t resist one little tease, however. “You know, I can’t ever remember having this much fun with my clothes still on.”

Hobie’s laughter rang out. “Absolutely incorrigible. Come on, sexy, let’s see if you’re all hot air.” She smacked Juliana across the backside and stepped away.

“Oh, baby, now you’ve got me fired up.” Juliana pulled her arms back and swung the golf club with a gentle force.

The ball sped up the red-carpeted ramp and bounced against one of the octagonal borders. The ball shot into the clown’s mouth, and the women watched as it spiraled down until it eventually reached the giraffe tunnel that was its destination. The ball circled gracefully and dropped with a resounding plunk into the metal cup.

“Oh, yeah. I’m good!”

Both women doubled over in laughter. Juliana swept Hobie into a hug and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. “Thanks to my excellent caddy,” she said to more laughter.

Baylor watched the two women walk away, now arm in arm and still laughing. She turned to discreetly follow and tripped over an oncoming golf ball.

“Hey, dude, you playin’ or peepin’?” Three young men now stood before her.

Baylor arched an eyebrow and put on her most intimidating look, which wasn’t hard considering the mood she was in. “Do I look like a dude?”

“Uh, matter of fact, yeah!” The three boys laughed.

Baylor took a step closer to the young man who had spoken. She towered over him. “How’d you like to have a ten-foot ice cream cone shoved up your ass, funny man?” she demanded, glancing up at the statue beside her.

He swallowed hard and backed away until he stood with his friends. Baylor walked off after Hobie and Juliana. “Sometimes it’s good to be king,” she said with an evil smile.

“Okay, all I have to do is ace this one hole and I will be the undisputed putt-putt champion of the world.” Juliana waved to an imaginary crowd.

Hobie laughed. “The whole world may be pushing it. Let’s just say Ana Lia. Besides, that one’s harder than it looks.”

Ten minutes later, Juliana was still trying for the same hole, swearing profusely. “Goddamn it! It did it again!”

“You know this is supposed to be fun, remember?”

“I am having fun,” Juliana said as she ground her teeth together. “Can’t you tell?” She finally looked up with a sheepish grin. “It’s that stupid hippo. Every time my ball gets close to going into his mouth, those stupid teeth pop out and knock it out of the way.”

“Okay, quit pouting, it makes you look like Noah. Step aside.” Hobie gracefully pushed Juliana to one side of the green. “It’s all in your timing and the wrists. Are you watching?”

“Oh, yeah.” Juliana grinned as she crouched on one knee. Her unintentional stance afforded her a picture-perfect view of Hobie’s backside.

“Asshole!” Baylor muttered to herself. “Jules is doing exactly...well, what I’d do. Okay, I can’t fault her for sneaking a peek, but that is not going to stop me from beating the living crap out of her tonight.”

“Jules, I asked if you were watching my wrists, not my ass.” “No, as I recall, you said, ‘are you watching?’ You didn’t specify any particular body part.”

“Touché. How’s the view?” Hobie asked with a sly grin. “Bloody good, if I may say so without getting my face slapped.”

“You certainly may not!” Baylor hissed under her breath. “You certainly may. Say so, I mean, not get your face slapped.

As a thirty-eight-year-old mother, I’m happy to know someone still looks,” Hobie said. “Okay, here goes.” She swung the club in a gentle arc. The timing was perfect as the ball ricocheted off two chomping plastic teeth and rolled into the hippo’s mouth.

Hobie held her hand up to her mouth and blew on her nails, then polished them on her blouse. “What can I say?”

“Come on, Tiger, let’s see how you do over the water hazard. I’m taking a par for this hole,” Juliana said.

“Cheater,” Hobie cried out as Juliana dragged her away by one arm.

“Cheater is right,” Baylor said. She stood up from her place within the shadows where she had hidden behind a massive version of the birds that bob up and down to drink from a glass of water. She stepped away from the brightly colored bird just as a group of girls in Scout uniforms entered the green.

Baylor thought later that she should have moved faster, but at the time, she was intent on watching Juliana and Hobie walk away. She didn’t anticipate that one of the eight-year-old girls would get a hole in one.

“Ow!” Baylor cried out as the bird dipped and its beak hit her shoulder. She tried to move away, but the bird turned as she did and pecked her sharply on top of the head.

“Jesus Christ,” she screamed and punched at the bird, which only resulted in knocking the red bowler hat from its head. The hat fell to the ground with a clatter, but the bird succeeded in hitting Baylor two more times before she could anticipate in which direction its head would move next.

Baylor could feel something—was it blood?—running down the side of her face, but she couldn’t stop the attacking bird long enough to check. Unfortunately, at the precise moment she finally achieved her bearings and could duck the bird’s advances, her casted foot stepped directly into the open bowler. Unable to right herself, she spun around as the hat slid against the concrete.

“Motherfu—” The last thing Baylor remembered about the putt-putt golf course was the way her body felt as it flipped over the three-foot hedge surrounding the greens. She lay in the dirt, and right before passing out, she saw the bird’s face. Later she would swear that it had been smiling.

“What was that?” Hobie asked Juliana. The two women looked back in the direction from which they had come.

“Must be some bloke fooling around,” Juliana said as they walked toward the exit.

“I had a great time tonight, Hobie. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I had that much fun,” Juliana said.

Hobie slipped an arm around Juliana’s waist and walked with her back to the guesthouse. “I had a great time, too, and boy, did I need one.”

They stopped at the bottom step to the wooden porch. “No offense, but I’m not going to try to kiss you good night,” Juliana said. They parted, but she retained her hold of Hobie’s hand.

“Well, there’s none taken.” Hobie smiled and her brow furrowed. “Mind telling me why not, though?”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way because I mean it as a huge compliment,” Juliana began. “It’s just that going out with you has been amazingly similar to going out with my sister. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister. In fact—”

“Jules,” Hobie interrupted. “It’s okay. I don’t have a sister, but I think I know what you’re driving at. It was nice going out with a friend and having fun.”

“Spot on,” Juliana said in relief. “We’re in perfect agreement then?”

“We make great buddies and nothing more.” Both women chuckled.

“Want to sit for a while?” Hobie asked, indicating the porch swing.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Can I get you anything to drink, maybe a glass of wine?” “Only if you’re having some.”

Hobie quickly returned with two glasses of pinot grigio and lit the bamboo torches.

“Thanks. It’s beautiful out here. I didn’t realize this place was that close to the water.”

“It’s only about two hundred yards. When it’s quiet like this, I love to sit here and listen. You’re right, it is beautiful. Hot, but beautiful.”

They talked for a while about nothing of great consequence, just relaxing and enjoying the evening. Juliana was amused by how often Hobie brought Baylor’s name into the conversation. It was always something interesting or funny that Baylor had said or done. What made it so amusing was that Juliana was sure Hobie had no idea she was doing it. She wavered regarding her next move, but she couldn’t resist.

“So,” she turned and put her arm on the back of the chair, “tell me about Baylor.” She cupped her chin in the palm of her other hand.

“B-Baylor? Tell you what about her?” Hobie suddenly felt a warmth creeping up her neck that had little to do with the tropical evening.

“Tell me about you...and her.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Hobie chuckled to make light of the question that had already affected her deeply.

Juliana directed a knowing look toward Hobie.

Hobie tried to laugh again, but no sound would come. She rolled her eyes and turned her head as if she could play the whole thing off as a joke. Juliana’s perceptive expression halted her ruse.

“Do you want me to tell you about me and Baylor?” Hobie set her glass of wine on a small mosaic table. She stood and began pacing. “The woman is certifiable.”

Juliana lowered her head to hide her smile.

“I turn around and she’s there. She’s like some little puppy, nipping at my heels. One minute she hates me, the next minute she does something so…so, well, so wonderful and sweet that it makes it nearly impossible not to—” She stopped abruptly, but apparently Juliana knew how to finish the sentence.

“To love her.”

Hobie looked as though she’d been slapped, then she looked as though she was going to cry. She sat heavily in the swing next to Juliana. “If you think for one moment that I’m in love with Baylor Warren...she’s nuts, do you know that?”

Juliana smiled. “She’s eccentric.”

“That’s just a rich person’s way of saying nuts,” Hobie countered. “The scary thing is that she thinks the rest of the world is crazy. She’s… oh, God, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Let’s see if I can help. She’s smart, but she knows it. She’s talented, which she doesn’t know, not how much, at least. Children and animals adore her, and although she has the patience of a saint with them, she won’t give most adults the time of day. Plus, she has an ego the size of a small third-world country and she never sees her own faults.”

“But she’s so...so...well, so the opposite of all that some days. When she’s not trying—”

“She’s sullen and brooding,” Juliana said. “Beautiful. Compassionate,” Hobie added softly. “Sarcastic. Caustic.”

“Tender. Gentle.”

“And finally, she’s the biggest pain in the ass in the whole world,” Juliana said.

Hobie looked over at Juliana. With a stricken expression, she covered her face with her hands. “Oh, God, Jules. I’m in love with the biggest pain in the ass in the world! How did this happen?”

She looked about ready to cry. Juliana wrapped an arm around her and held her for a few moments.

That’s when Baylor returned.

Baylor had suffered what she would remember as a harrowing, traumatic experience. The most embarrassing point had been regaining consciousness surrounded by a group of eight-year-old Junior Scouts. Too embarrassed to explain what happened, Baylor had made up an extraordinary story about how she suffered from seizures, and the girls were thrilled to get credit for finding her and saving her life. The older woman with them looked skeptical, but the lie served its purpose. Baylor tossed the girls enough money for ice cream and gingerly made her way back to her car.

She cleaned herself up as best she could with a travel package of Kleenex and a bottle of water. She wondered if she had a concussion; the plastic bird had hit her hard enough to draw blood. She was dirty, sweaty, and bloody, but there was only one thing to do at that point. She decided to go back to Hobie’s house and wait for her two-timing friends.

She parked the Jaguar, hoping fervently that the other women hadn’t noticed its absence. The guesthouse was not visible from the street. It was set behind the main house and surrounded by a privet and bougainvilleas. That’s where Baylor decided to set up watch.

She could hear the sound of voices, but not what they were saying. She angled over to better see the front of the guesthouse. What she saw was her best friend with her arms around Hobie, who didn’t look like she was doing much to change that situation.

“Son of a bi—ouch! Goddamn it!” Baylor had no idea that the beautiful red bougainvillea flowers, whose petals looked like rice paper, had thorns the size of small railroad spikes. She had leaned too close and the shoulder of her jacket snagged on the spiny thorns. Unfortunately, the more she struggled, the more entangled she became.

“Did you hear something?” Hobie lifted her head from Juliana’s shoulder.

“No. Did you want me to take a look?” “No, it’s probably just an alligator.”

Juliana’s eyes opened wide and she nervously looked around the dark area surrounding the porch.

“Just kidding. I haven’t seen one since I was a kid.” Hobie’s smile returned. “It’s probably just a raccoon or something equally as harmless.”

“Oh, love, you’ve got a well-evil sense of humor.”

“Sorry. Jules, I don’t want you to think I’m using you, but could I ask you one thing about Baylor?”

“I am the world’s foremost authority on Baylor Warren, my dear. Ask away.”

“What’s wrong with her? Was she dropped on her head as a baby or what?”

The question was such a serious one and Hobie’s expression so earnest that Juliana hated to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. She tilted her head back and roared with laughter.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t stop myself. You’re the first person who’s ever had the guts to ask a question like that about Baylor.”

“I’m serious,” Hobie countered with a smile and a chuckle. “My God, it wasn’t bad enough that she had Noah fighting on the playground and calling other six-year-olds rat bastards. Last week, she taught him how to spit because she said that every big-leaguer should know how.”

Juliana’s laughter increased.

“I was over at Evelyn’s house for lunch once. An alarm went off and she rushed out to the greenhouse with Arturo right behind her. I swear she’s trained that dog to do the oddest things. She grabbed a clipboard, rushed out of the kitchen, and fifteen minutes later came back as if nothing ever happened. I told you about Katherine and Helen, right?”

Juliana stopped laughing long enough to mutter, “Yeah, the gals with the big rat.”

“It’s a hamster, but that’s not the point. When Baylor first got here, I had to beg her not to offend those women.”

“What’s she doing—being mean to them? That doesn’t sound like Baylor,” Jules asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Mean? She goes around acting as if Albert is real. Not just to be polite to Katherine, either. She talks about that goddamn rat to everyone who’ll listen!”

“I thought you said it was a hamster.”

“Whatever! You know what I mean! The coach is another example,” Hobie added. “She only sees the coach when she goes to the Cove. He hangs around the restaurant.”

“Yeah, she told me about him. The football geezer.”

“Right. I found her one afternoon on a park bench with the man. She was drawing up plays for the team.”

“Maybe she was just trying to help the bloke out.”

“He hasn’t coached football in twenty years! There is no team!”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know what to do about her anymore,” Hobie said as she slumped into the porch swing once again. “I’m afraid I’m in love with a crazy woman, Jules.”

Juliana made a sound that was half coughing and half laughter. “Funny, she says the same about you.”

“Baylor’s in love with me?” Hobie asked.

Juliana looked up, a fearful expression on her face. “No, no, I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did! I knew it. I just knew it! That’s what she wanted to tell me yesterday.”

“No, it didn’t come from me. Don’t you dare repeat it. Something bad will happen, I know it.”

“Oh, please.”

“It will. Evelyn said—”

“Evelyn? What’s she got to do with it?”

“Oh, my God! I didn’t say that. Shut up...don’t talk to me any more about it.”

“Will you stop?”

“No,” Juliana covered her ears with her hands. “No, no, no, no, no—”

“Will you stop!” Hobie slapped Juliana’s arm sharply. “My God, you and Baylor are exactly alike. What am I getting myself into?”

Juliana looked over at Hobie with a contrite expression. “Sorry. Just…just pretend like you don’t know. I promised Evelyn—”

“What in the hell does Evelyn have to do with all of this?” “Nothing, nothing at all.”

“God, maybe it’s not Baylor who’s crazy. Maybe it’s me. I feel like I’m losing it.”

“Look, Hobie,” Juliana began calmly, “Baylor’s always been a bit different. The interesting thing is that she doesn’t see it that way. She sees herself as perfectly normal and everyone else as slightly bonkers. Maybe she’s just found a place in Ana Lia where it’s okay to be different. Maybe you and Evelyn are responsible for taking our eccentric, slightly lovable, forty-two-year-old kid and making her see that different is acceptable.”

“So you mean I’m to blame?”

Juliana chuckled. “In a way, I guess. I’m just trying to get you to look at the other side of that coin.”

Hobie smiled back, a look that was part exasperation and part resignation. “I don’t think I could pry her out of my heart now with a crowbar. Trust me, I’ve tried. God Almighty, Jules, do you want to know the absolute craziest part?”

“And that is?”

“I’m in love with the woman who, at this very moment, is spying on us from the bushes.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’d know the sound of her cursing anywhere,” Hobie said dryly. “Listen.”

Juliana paused to listen to the night sounds around them. Faintly, from the ocean side of the house, she heard Baylor’s mutterings.

“Goddamn son of a—” Then there was a ripping sound, followed by more muttered curses.

“I don’t believe it,” Juliana said.

“I do. Just what in the hell did she expect to catch us doing is what I wonder.”

“With Baylor, there’s no telling.” Juliana was trying hard not to laugh, which made her look as though she was struggling to hold her breath. “What do you think she’s doing back there to be cursing so much?” She gave up and allowed her laughter to escape.

“I don’t know, but I know what she’s going to see up here.” “What’s that mean?”

“Just follow my lead. Okay?”

“This sounds like trouble. Careful, Hobie.”

“I’m just going to give her what she came here for.” “All right, boss.”

“So want to come inside for a nightcap?” Hobie asked loudly. She rose from the swing and held out a hand. “We can get much more comfortable inside.”

“Uh, what about Noah?” Juliana asked, playing along. “Don’t worry, he’s staying the night with my mother.”

By this time, Baylor had thoroughly entangled herself amongst the spiny thorns of the bougainvilleas. She heard what was transpiring on the porch, which made her fight all the harder to get out of her current predicament. Of course, the harder she struggled, the tighter the long, vine-like branches held her in their grasp.

Juliana rose and took Hobie’s hand. When they reached the door of the guesthouse, Hobie turned around. Her next action took Juliana by surprise. She reached up and kissed her. It was no quick peck on the cheek, and Juliana’s whole body melted into the kiss. In a matter of seconds, the kiss was over and Hobie pulled Juliana through the open door.

That was about the time that Baylor went ballistic. She abandoned her jacket to the bloodthirsty branches and launched herself with amazing speed toward the guesthouse.

Juliana was still trying to catch her breath when Hobie closed the door. She leaned against a chair. “You know when I said that going out with you was like dating my sister?”

“Yeah.”

“I changed my mind. I don’t think my sister would snog anything like that.”

“You’re gonna have to explain that one.” “What, snog? Oh, kiss.”

Hobie slapped Juliana’s arm, which brought about a smile. “How long do you think it will take her?”

“Twenty, thirty more seconds,” Juliana said.

“And you say you know the woman. Five more seconds, tops. Five...four...three...two...”

Baylor pounded on the door. “Hobie Lynn, open this door right now!”

Juliana turned to Hobie. “You’re bloody good.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Hobie tossed her hair to one side as she slowly walked to the door. She laughed at her own behaviorbefore opening the door to face down her wounded would-be paramour.

“Baylor, my God, what happened to you?” Hobie asked.

Dirt and bits of leaves clung to Baylor’s clothes, and her hands were covered with bruises and scratches. The worst of it looked to be a streak of dried blood running from her hair and down one side of her face.

“You owe me three hundred dollars!” Baylor sneered. “What in the world are you talking about?” Hobie asked. “Your shrubbery ate my linen Armani jacket.”

Hobie crossed her arms. “And what, may I ask, were you doing in my shrubbery?”

Baylor opened her mouth for an angry reply. She watched as one of Hobie’s eyebrows arched and disappeared under auburn bangs. “I…she…” She couldn’t decide who to blame first. In her mind, she wasn’t to blame for any of the evening’s events. She was an innocent bystander. “You’re confusing me!” She pointed an accusing finger at Hobie.

“Good Lord. Sit down before you fall down.” Hobie shook her head. “Let me get the first-aid kit.” She walked out of the room.

Baylor sat heavily in the wooden chair. “Come here,” she all but whispered.

Juliana drew a step closer. “What?” “Come here a minute.”

Juliana crossed the small living room but stopped before reaching her friend. “Why?” she drawled out suspiciously.

“Because I’m going to beat the crap out of you!” Baylor shouted as she lunged toward her. By the time Hobie returned with the first-aid kit, Baylor and Juliana had nearly come to blows.

“Stop it.” Hobie moved between the two women. “Stop it!” she screamed. “What the hell is going on?”

“She—” Juliana and Baylor spoke at the same time. They each had a hand raised and a finger pointed at the other.

“Just stop it. Stop it now,” Hobie ordered. She stood between them, one arm against each woman’s chest, trying to keep them from attacking each other. “Has anyone ever told the two of you that you’re very high-energy friends to be around?”

“I thought they meant it in a good way,” Baylor said.

“Trust me.” Hobie pushed Baylor back into the chair. “They didn’t.”

She took a wet cloth and carefully began cleaning the cuts on Baylor’s hands. She then moved to clean the dried blood from her face and neck.

“Do you mean to tell me that my bushes did all this to you?” she asked. “What the hell did you do—dive into them?”

“No. If you must know, I was attacked by a very large bird.” “You’re kidding. Baylor, why didn’t you say so?” Perhaps the

attack had caused Baylor’s apparent disorientation. Maybe that was why she was in the bushes in the first place. “Was it a gull or a pelican?”

“I think it was a chicken, or maybe a parrot, I’m not sure. I’m sure it was yellow, though.”

Hobie paused, and she and Juliana looked at each other. “Not only are they both small birds, they are quite dissimilar

by comparison,” Juliana said.

“This thing was at least nine feet tall,” Baylor said.

“What?” Hobie laughed. “I think she might have a concussion. Baylor,” she continued loudly, “how many fingers am I holding up?”

“I’m not mentally incapacitated and I have not gone deaf, so quit yelling at me.”

“Well then, you’re quite insane. There are no nine-foot birds roaming around Ana Lia. I’m certain something like that would have made the papers. It would have been on all the news stations. I’m a vet. I would have been called.”

“So I’m a liar. I bet if it was her saying it, you’d believe it.” “Oh, for God’s sake,” Hobie said. “Just look at what you’re

saying. I mean, the only nine-foot chicken on Ana Lia is the one out at the miniature golf—”

Baylor picked that moment to find something fascinating about the floor.

“Oh, I don’t believe you would stoop that low,” Hobie said. Juliana, in the meantime, finally realized what Hobie was

talking about. “Baylor.” She took a deep breath. “Tell me you didn’t. Tell me that you didn’t follow us around tonight like some bleeding nutter. Tell me that you didn’t embarrass me like that.” “Embarrass you?” Baylor’s voice rose. “I was the one that

was attacked by that damn parakeet and had to be pulled from certain death by a bunch of Scouts!”

“Girl Scouts.” Hobie couldn’t stop herself from correcting Baylor. She had seen the troop of girls behind them at the putt-putt course.

“Move out of the way, Hobie,” Juliana ordered. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to beat the crap out of her!” Juliana rushed toward Baylor and the two were at it again.

“I can’t believe you didn’t trust me!” she shouted as she took a swing at Baylor.

“Trust? After that kiss I saw, you have the nerve to talk to me about trust?” Baylor tried to put a headlock on her friend.

Meanwhile, Hobie, who was a good four inches shorter than either woman, found herself caught in the middle of their desperate attempts to reach each other.

“Stop it!” she practically screamed. She managed to push them apart once more, but by this time, she was thoroughly exhausted. “I have had enough! Jules, it’s been great fun, but maybe you should go home.”

“But—”

“It’s okay,” Hobie interrupted. “I think Baylor and I need to talk.”

Juliana agreed with a short nod. Just because she understood didn’t mean she had to like it. “Give me the keys.” She held out her hand to Baylor.

“Forget it, use her jalopy.”

“Give her the goddamn keys,” Hobie hissed.

Baylor immediately complied. “How am I supposed to get home?” It came out as more of a whine than she had intended.

“I bloody well hope she makes you walk,” Juliana said as Hobie led her to the door.

Baylor took a step toward her friend. “Sit!” Hobie barked.

Baylor’s eyes went wide at the command. She silently sat down.

“Try not to kill her,” Juliana whispered to Hobie. “She may be the biggest pain in the ass in the world, but it’s really hard to break in a new best mate.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Hobie said with a smile. “I make no promises, however. Thanks, Jules.” She gently squeezed her hand and closed the door behind her.

“As for you,” Hobie said as she turned to face a suddenly tongue-tied Baylor. “Geez, you’re a mess.”

“I know,” Baylor said with an exasperated sigh. “You know, I’m really a normal person. I work, I pay my taxes, millions of people buy my books—”

“Baylor?”

“People like me. Okay, they don’t actually like me, but they respect me—”

“Baylor.”

“I’m not usually this-this—” “Baylor!”

Baylor paused and raised her head as if hearing Hobie for the first time.

“I meant that you’re a dirty mess. Filthy. You need a shower.”

“Oh.” Baylor looked down at her clothes. She casually brushed a small twig from her slacks and, just as nonchalantly, pulled up a piece of her blouse that had ripped at the shoulder.

“Come on, you can take a shower here.” Hobie dragged Baylor into her bedroom. “There are clean towels in the cabinet. Everything you need is in the bath. My robe is on the back of the door, feel free. I’ll see what I can do about some fresh clothes. Need anything in particular?”

Baylor shook her head dumbly. She was accustomed to being in charge, but when Hobie was in the room, she felt as though her control disappeared.

“I’ll be in the living room then,” Hobie said as she closed the bedroom door.

Baylor stared at the closed door for a few moments longer. Okay, there’s something wrong here. Why is she being so nice to me?

A woman I’ve just pissed off being overly nice to me? That can’t be good.

“Baylor, old girl,” she muttered to herself as she turned on the tap, “you are in a great deal of trouble.”