Red Hill

Chapter Twenty-One

Miranda

ELLENY FOLLOWED SCARLET AROUND LIKE a scared child, even after she helped bury Kevin’s body. We were all stunned for days after. I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked about what Kevin had done, what he was caught doing, or that Scarlet had killed him. The house didn’t feel the same, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the new, awkward addition, or because we realized that it wasn’t just teds that we had to fear.

Because Elleny stayed so close to Scarlet and so far from the rest of us, it was hard to get to know her. I didn’t know how to talk to her, anyway. I’d never known anyone that had been through something like that. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I didn’t say anything at all.

Nathan and Zoe had returned to the front bedroom, but Scarlet moved downstairs with Elleny, leaving Joey the couch. That made it easier for me to stay up and talk to him at night, and I felt more like we were just hanging out as friends instead of sneaking around in the basement like . . . nonfriends. I couldn’t even say the word, that’s how wrong it felt.

Whatever it was, I couldn’t deny that I liked being around Joey. I more than liked it. Even if a moment had to be stolen when no one was looking. Bryce would get so angry to even see us chatting about nothing in particular, so I took what I could get because going too long without a moment with him made me feel like I was suffocating.

Everyone seemed to be suffocating. We were surviving, but every passing day felt less like living.

Every morning and night, Scarlet would stand out on the porch my father built and watch the red hill for her daughters. Nathan would wait with her, assuring her that they would come. Ashley pretended to be a teacher. The guys tried to keep themselves busy with upkeep of the house, and taking shifts to patrol the perimeter, and Joey and I pretended to ignore each other, but what was supposed to be our safe haven was beginning to feel like a prison.

Nathan, though, didn’t seem to feel the weight like the rest of us. He and Scarlet would spend hours talking. Once, I walked by the door and saw them holding hands while they waited together on the porch. After that, they seemed to steal more moments alone, sharing secrets and whispering jokes that only the two of them found funny. Joey and I were sitting up late one night, talking in the darkness of the living room, and were both startled when the French doors opened, revealing Scarlet.

“Hi,” she said, looking caught. “We were just talking.”

I shrugged, and so did Joey. “So are we,” I said.

Scarlet nodded before retreating downstairs to join Elleny.

Joey looked at me. I was barely able to see his eyebrow rise in the dim light. “Think they were . . .”

“No. Zoe’s in there.”

“So?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head, disgusted in Zoe’s honor. “I remember walking in on my parents, once. It scarred me for life.”

“My parents split up when I was four,” Joey said. “I don’t remember what it’s like to have them both in the house.”

“Your mom never dated?”

“Once or twice. I did a pretty good job of scaring them off. I was a hateful little shit.”

I smiled. “I can see that.”

Nathan

I DIDN’T MEAN TO KEEP making comparisons, but Aubrey was the first woman I’d ever loved. So I had to wonder, now, feeling the way I did about Scarlet, if I just loved her differently than I ever had Aubrey, or if it meant I’d never really loved Aubrey at all.

My life went from one disappointing day to another, to keeping track of time by how much was spent with Scarlet, and how much time was spent between the moments I spent with her. We would sit on the porch and wait together, and she would tell me about her girls, how funny and smart and talented they were, and what it was like to bring them into this world. She talked about her marriage, and her decision to leave. I’d already thought she was maybe the strongest, bravest woman I’d met, but to listen to how alone she was in that decision, with no support, I couldn’t help but be in awe of her.

Each night was a buildup to when I would finally have enough balls to touch her. Sometimes I would play it off with a nudge, or a playful smack on her leg, and she wouldn’t mind if I left it there. Childish, but she was nothing if not intimidating . . . and distractingly beautiful. I found it difficult not to stare at her, and was glad for the dim light after the sun went down, and that the darkness gave me an excuse to concentrate on her mouth while she spoke.

It felt strange—this happiness I’d found in such a dark time. But with Zoe content in our new home and the routine we’d found, and finding Scarlet, the only thing that bothered me was what life would have been like without death descending on the world. What did it mean that I’d had such good fortune when so many had lost everything?

Sitting on the top step of the porch next to Scarlet, it was easy to forget the nightmare that was just beyond that hill, and that she wasn’t just outside spending time with me, but passing the time while waiting for her children, the true loves of her life.

“I’m still sweating,” Scarlet said, letting go of my hand to lift the collar of her T-shirt to dab her forehead. “Summer must be in full swing.”

The locust and crickets were taking over the symphony the birds had just ended. “It’s going to be another hot one.”

“Triple digits. Again. Probably.” She reached over to lace her fingers in mine.

I lifted her fingers to my lips. I wanted so badly to just pull her into my lap and touch every part of her. It was a silly, but very real desire. Something I’d never felt with Aubrey.

“Were you in a relationship? Before?” Before was the general term we used for any time before the first day of the outbreak.

Scarlet shook her head. “No. I was enjoying being single.”

“Oh.”

She laughed and squeezed my hand. “Maybe I just hadn’t met the right person, yet.”

“Maybe not,” I said, grinning like an idiot. Damn, I had it bad.

“Probably because the right person was married.”

I frowned for just a second, but cleared my expression before she noticed. Technically, I wasn’t single, and I worried that would make Scarlet think less of me.

“Does that bother you?”

Scarlet thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “The world is different, now. She left you a note saying that your marriage was over. I’d say in these times, that’s as good as a divorce. I worry about Zoe, though, don’t you?”

I loved her for that. “She doesn’t know anything, yet.”

“Oh, I think she knows more than you give her credit for.”

“You think?”

“I know. My girls knew everything I didn’t want them to. I think it’s a female thing.”

I smiled. “Good point.” Scarlet looked up into my eyes, and I blinked, suddenly feeling how close we were. I leaned in just a fraction of an inch, my lips burning to touch hers.

Scarlet leaned her head against my shoulder. “I need my girls here.”

I breathed out, her rejection deflating me. “I know.”

“No. I mean . . . I need them here. Safe. It doesn’t feel right to be happy otherwise.”

I knew then what she meant, and for the first time, I realized that I had been fooling myself. There was no one that wasn’t touched by the infection.

Miranda

BRYCE SAT ON THE FENCE, watching Butch nose around in the dirt. We didn’t have a lot to talk about anymore. I shared all of my thoughts and feelings with Joey, and Bryce had quit trying to get me to repeat them. It felt like a waste, anyway; redundant. My fourteen-year-old self wanted to hug him and assure him that I would always love him. My eighteen-year-old self wanted to apologize that he was stuck with someone who was so selfish, she couldn’t see past her own impulsive wishes. I was too much of a coward to do either, so I just kept pretending—poorly—to Bryce that everything was fine, and sneaking around to spend time with Joey after dark.

Just as I could barely stand to look at myself, Scarlet could barely stand to look at the hill another day. The sight of it made her angry, and she began spending more and more time watching the same spot for signs of her children. Her moods shifted in an instant, and after a while, even Nathan’s level head and smooth voice couldn’t keep her calm.

She quit allowing him to wait with her, but he would wait on the arm of the couch, right next to the door, in case she would break down into tears, and occasionally she did.

After three weeks of watching Scarlet wait, I watched her walk in and grab her rifle and a backpack, filling it with ammo.

Nathan stood from his perch on the couch. “Scarlet?”

She shoved a few more boxes into the pack, a bag of chips, two bottles of water, and then zipped it up. “I just saw another ted heading south in the field.”

“What are you going to do, chase it down? I thought we agreed that was an unnecessary risk.”

Scarlet slid the pack over her shoulders, and then grabbed a hatchet from behind the front door. “My girls are out there, Nathan.”

“Yes, but you don’t know why they’re not here yet, or when they’ll show up.”

“Maybe they can’t get here. Maybe they’re alone and are too scared to pass Shallot. I can’t just sit here anymore.”

Nathan sighed. “Okay. I understand that you’re frustrated, but we need to talk about this.”

Scarlet frowned. “What is there to talk about? I’m going.”

“Okay, you’re going, but we can’t talk about it first? Get a plan together?”

Scarlet shrugged. “Walk the roads and shoot teds. What other plan do I need?”

“It’s not safe to go alone.”

Scarlet shook her head and reached for the door. “I’m not going to be responsible if something happens to you, Nathan. You have a daughter to take care of.”

“You have two.”

Scarlet looked around to the rest of us. “Will someone please tell Nathan this is a bad idea?”

“I’m going with you,” Elleny said quietly.

Scarlet smiled and touched her cheek. “I need you to stay here where it’s safe. I can’t concentrate if I’m watching out for you, too. Got it?”

Elleny clearly didn’t like it, but she nodded.

Joey stood up. “I’m going, too.”

Scarlet held out her palm. “Now him I’ll take. You,” she said, pointing her palm at Nathan, “are staying here.”

“Don’t make me do this,” Nathan said. He took the few steps to stand next to her, touched his fingers to her arm, and spoke with subdued desperation in her ear. He was becoming agitated, and that wasn’t like him.

“Do what?” Scarlet said, instantly defensive.

“Choose between you and my daughter.”

Scarlet was speechless, like the rest of us. Finally, she spoke, pulling away from him. “I would never ask you to do that. It’s not a choice, Nathan.” She began to open the door, and Nathan took her wrist in his hand. “Let go,” she said calmly.

“Scarlet, I’m asking you. Don’t do this.”

“I’m not waiting for them anymore. I have to help them. This is the only way I know how.”

“And what if you get yourself killed and they show up here? What am I supposed to tell them? That they came all the way here for nothing?”

Scarlet stared at Nathan, wriggled her wrist out of his grasp, and then looked to Joey. “Are you coming or not?”

“Right behind you.” Joey began to follow Scarlet, but he stopped at the door. “I’ll keep her safe, Nate.”

Nathan nodded.

Bryce kissed my cheek. “I’m going, too.”

“What?” I said. “Why?”

“I want to make sure she doesn’t get herself killed before her kids get here. I’ve been watching her wait on that porch every morning for a month. I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get to see them because we didn’t help her.”

“Then I’m going, too,” I said.

Bryce shook his head. “No, you and Ashley need to stay here with the girls. Coop?”

“Yeah,” Cooper said, leaning over to kiss Ashley. Against Ashley’s persistent pleas, he grabbed a baseball bat and followed Bryce out the door.

Once the door closed behind Cooper, the house was instantly and eerily quiet. Nathan took Zoe and Elleny to the table and began pulling out food for breakfast. Ashley stood at the door, watching Cooper walk down the road.

“You really think her kids are out there?” Ashley said, keeping her eye on the group. “You think they’re still alive?”

“Yes,” Nathan said from the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t have let her go,” I snapped. “Everyone we love is out there.”

Nathan’s worried eyes softened as he looked down at his daughter. “How could I argue with her when I would do the same?”

Scarlet

FOUR PAIRS OF SHOES ON dirt and gravel was the only sound. No one said a word as we walked east up the red dirt hill and back down, toward the intersection and then back north toward the cemetery at the next mile section. Bryce and Cooper trailed behind Joey and me by about ten feet—on purpose, I assumed.

Despite being determined not to, Nathan’s pleas for me to stay kept entering my mind. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Ashley at the door, wondering where Nathan was, if he was angry with me. If I had a type, Nathan was not it. I knew right away when he showed up in a loose tie and slacks. The day before our lives changed forever I would have appreciated his body for a few moments before dismissing him. Until I’d gotten to know Nathan, I thought a man that spent too much time in the gym was either vain or had self-esteem issues. I preferred men with dark hair, eyes that you couldn’t look away from, and at least a head taller than me—even though I dwarfed Andrew when in heels. If Andrew had taught me anything, it was what I didn’t want in a man. Sometimes I used my strict list of musts to push potential interests away. It worked for me. As a single mother, it was my job to be picky. After failing Jenna and Halle so many times, I owed them that.

Even after half or more of the population had been wiped out, it wasn’t a good enough excuse to throw away the list—regardless of the strange excitement that I felt every time Nathan was in the same room.

We weren’t a mile away from the entrance of the ranch when Joey tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the field on our left. It probably wasn’t the best idea, leaving that early in the morning with the sun in our eyes, but I could still see her, limping across the knee-high wheat stalks.

“Ted, ten o’clock,” Joey said, alerting the others.

We approached her carefully. She’d noticed us right after we saw her, and instantly turned in our direction, her low moans signaling her excitement at the prospect of a meal. She reached for us as she walked, and I held the hatchet tightly in my hand as I charged her.

I lifted the wooden handle of the hatchet high in the air, and just before I was within her grasp, I brought it down to her skull, letting the weight of it work with me. The steel pierced bone, and then slid easily into the softer part of her brain. She instantly froze, and then fell to the ground.

I bent over, steadying myself with my foot on her head, and then pulled, releasing the edge of the axe from her head. Joey, Cooper, and Bryce were all watching me, their expressions ranging from disgusted to awestruck.

“What?”

Joey glanced at the other boys and then back at me. “I’m not completely convinced at this point that you needed us with you for anything other than chitchat.”

I laughed once, and continued on. “Come on. She isn’t the ted I saw from the porch. There is another one out here. To the south.”

We crossed the field in search of the large male I saw lumbering across the wheat. He met the same end as the previous ted, but then I wanted to return to the road. The girls only knew how to get to the ranch from Halle’s song, so the roads were what needed to be cleared first.

We had eliminated a dozen or so teds by lunch time, when we stopped to rest and snack on the potato chips I’d stuck in my pack.

“So . . . Nathan . . . ,” Cooper said with a smile.

“What about him?” I said, taking another gulp of water.

“He seemed really worried about you. You guys are getting along pretty well.”

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and then raised an eyebrow. “Are you really trying to play matchmaker right now?”

Cooper spit out the bite of sandwich in his mouth and laughed uncontrollably, and Bryce and Joey began to chuckle, too.

I rolled my eyes. “Stop it.”

“It’s okay, Scarlet. You don’t have to be a badass all the time,” Joey said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Bryce handed me his leftovers to put in my pack. “Nathan is a good guy. One of the best. Even before all this. You shouldn’t be so hard on him.”

“Am I?” I asked, a little offended. How was I being hard on him? Just because I wasn’t throwing myself at him? Why I was even entertaining this conversation with a bunch of barely pubescent boys was a joke in itself.

Joey smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with being happy, Scarlet.”

“Are you happy, Joey?” As soon as the words passed my lips, I regretted them. The question wiped the smile off Joey’s face, and the others fell silent. “I’m sorry. God, I am so sorry,” I said.

“It’s okay,” Joey said, standing. “We better get going.”

I stood and brushed the dead grass off my clothes. “I guess Nathan is okay.”

Joey’s small smile returned, and he closed one eye tight to help him look at me despite the sun. “You like him, then?”

“A little. I think.”

“I think a lot,” Cooper teased.

“Shut up,” I replied.

“What if something happened to him?” Bryce asked.

I was quiet for a long time, and then finally said, “It would break me.”

We continued until dinnertime. By the time we’d returned to the house, I had downed fourteen, and the boys had taken care of at least ten apiece. We’d stumbled on a herd just before we got to the highway, significantly upping our count for the day.

Ashley nearly tackled Cooper to the floor when we walked into the house, and the rest of us grabbed clean clothes and then found different places to wash up.

I was filthy, covered in sweat, dirt, and the thick, coagulated blood of shufflers. I went out the laundry-room door to the patio on the side of the house and pulled off my shirt, letting it slap to the ground. I used my foot to pull off one tennis shoe, and then did the same with the other before shimmying off my jeans. They were Leah’s, and a bit tight, but my scrub pants weren’t made for an apocalypse, and were shredded by week two.

I pulled the garden hose from its coil and twisted the water spigot. The water came out with a gush just as Nathan came outside. His eyes pored over my body. A month ago, it would have been embarrassing to be standing in front of someone in just a bra and panties, but we lived in a different world, now. In truth, I just felt like one of the guys.

The way Nathan was looking at me in that moment, though, was not like he was just looking at one of the guys. He took the hose from my hand and I bent over, letting him spray my back and hair.

“Looks like a productive trip,” he said.

I stood up and scrubbed my face as he sprayed me with the water, and then used my hands to scrub my arms and legs. “Yep. We came across a herd. Not sure if I can beat my count tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Scarlet . . .”

I turned to face him. “I understand that you don’t want me to go, but I need to do this.”

“I know,” he said, taking a step toward me. He leaned over to pick up the stack of clean clothes off the rusted-out cooker beside the door where I’d tossed them, and handed them to me. “But I can’t stand staying at the house while you’re out there.” He was just inches from me. Even though it was warm out, my skin was covered in goose bumps. He put one hand on my hip, and the other on my face.

His mouth was just inches from mine, but I put gentle pressure against his chest with my fingertips. “Did you love her?” The question was painfully out of place, but still needed to be asked. I may have far surpassed my days as an insecure adolescent, and we might have been the last of the few people left in the world, but it was still a valid worry to wonder if it was the situation that brought us together or his feelings were genuine. Maybe it didn’t matter.

“Not for a long time, and never like the way I love you.”

Even though I realized that I might feel the same, his words surprised me. He seemed to be waiting for me to return the sentiment, and when I didn’t, he rushed to kiss me, covering the awkward silence in case it led to an awkward exit. I let him pull my bare skin against him. I parted my lips and he wasted no time slipping his tongue inside, searching every part of my mouth. I’d never thought about if he was a good kisser or not, but he was such a good kisser that it both surprised me and made me ache for more.

I walked backward to the back of the house, and he walked with me, never pulling his mouth from mine. He knotted his fingers in the dark, wet strands of my hair, as he pressed my back against the wooden slats of the house. There was no room between us, but I kept pulling him closer and closer to me. My thighs throbbed for the hardness behind his jeans.

I reached down and unbuckled his belt and then unbuttoned his pants, immediately pinching his zipper and tugging it down. Nathan let me go for just a second, took a quick glance around, and then put his thumbs into the waist of his jeans and pushed down just enough.

He reached down and pulled my knee up to his hip, and with the other hand slid over the small bit of fabric covering what he was after. The tip of his skin touched mine, and I instantly moaned in his mouth. I didn’t realize how much I wanted him or how much I missed sex until just that moment.

He steadied himself and then rocked his hips up and forward, pressing himself inside of me. I moaned again. I wasn’t sure if it was just because I’d been without sex in almost a year, or if he just felt that good.

Nathan pulled his mouth away from mine, and then hugged me to him, allowing him to go even deeper inside of me. The leg I stood on was burning, but I ignored it. Nathan slammed harder into me, making my ass bump into the wood behind me. He rocked into me over and over, in the most uncomfortable, amazing position. He licked and bit my earlobe, and I pressed my fingers into his back, and bit my lip to keep from screaming out just how amazing it felt. As my thigh began to feel numb and shake from exhaustion, Nathan pressed his face hard into my neck, and then groaned loudly, pressing into me a couple more times.

We stood still like that for a moment, and then we both let our legs give way, falling gently to the ground. Nathan looked up at me, and I leaned down, kissing his lips, already red from how much he’d used them on my skin.

He smiled, and then slipped my panties down my legs.

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” I said with a smirk.

He grabbed my hips and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his legs, leaned up, and then slowly, carefully, we fit perfectly together once again.

I was out of practice, but Nathan moved with me, slower this time. He pulled me down to kiss his lips, and then sucked my lower lip into his mouth, between his teeth, applying the smallest bit of pressure. I moved faster, and pressed against him harder, and then my whole body tensed, the orgasm holding on longer than I expected it to.

Finally, I collapsed against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Does it make me crazy that I think the end of the world is the best thing to happen to me?” he said, touching my face.

I smiled, wishing I could say the same.