Rites of Spring

15 Walpurgis Night 1986

Leo is my big brother, even though we’re not actually related.

Eva-Britt has an old photograph of us on her bedside table. Leo’s ten, I’m six. We’re sitting on a bench together. He’s looking at something behind the camera, his expression serious. I am gazing admiringly at him, as if he’s the most fantastic person I’ve ever seen.

Now he’s the one who looks at me almost the same way. He wants us to run away together. He’s put it in his letters. Leo would do anything for me. Whatever I ask of him.

Leo lifted his duffel bag out of the baggage compartment of the minibus. He slung it over his shoulder, adjusted his moss-green beret and straightened his shoulders. Waved to his comrades as the minibus drove off.

He’d been looking forward to this moment for a long time, fantasising about every detail. How he would stand there in the middle of the yard in his uniform, what the place would smell like, sound like.

The dogs rushed towards him, wagging their tails and whimpering with excitement. His mother came down the rickety steps, with Lola following cautiously.

‘Leo! Leo!’

The voice made him turn around. Elita was running along the track from the paddock, mud splashing up over her riding boots, eyes sparkling. Leo’s heart began to pound. This was exactly how he’d imagined it, even down to the sun peeping through the clouds.

Elita threw her arms around his neck and he drew her close. Her hair smelled of horses and the herbal shampoo that Eva-Britt and Lola made themselves. Leo closed his eyes, determined to hold this moment in his memory forever.

‘My turn,’ Eva-Britt said, and Elita stepped aside. ‘Let me look at you! You’ve certainly grown – the food must be good up there in Norrland.’

Leo nodded; he still couldn’t take his eyes off Elita.

‘And you’ve got medals!’ His mother touched the row of small gold-coloured merit awards on his breast. ‘But your hair . . .’

She reached up as if she were about to remove his beret; he turned his head away and laughed.

‘Everyone has a buzz cut, Mum. It’s the most practical solution – we’re on our bellies in the mud nearly every week.’

‘I think it looks good,’ Elita said.

Her words made Leo’s heart beat even faster. He looked her up and down.

‘Have you been riding Bill? You wrote that he was almost broken in.’

Elita nodded. ‘They’re coming to pick him up after the weekend, but there’ll be time for you to try him out. Dad’s not around this evening.’

‘What does ND stand for?’ Lola pointed to the badge on his beret. Her expression was distant, and Leo guessed that she was having one of her ‘absent days’ as his mother called them – days when a part of her was somewhere else.

‘Norrland Dragoons,’ he said proudly. ‘You’re given the beret when you’ve completed the winter training and the commando assessment.’

Lola didn’t appear to have heard him; she just carried on staring at his beret.

Elita took his hand, wove her fingers through his. Her skin was warm, almost burning him.

‘Let’s go in. Eva-Britt and I have baked you a cake.’

They set off up the steps, but paused by the door. Lola was still in the yard, staring up at Leo. She raised her chin as if she could hear sounds that were inaudible to everyone else.

‘Many things are on the move tonight,’ she said loudly. ‘Nature is hungry, the Green Man is riding through the forests, and the old must be replaced by the new.’

‘What did you say, sweetheart?’ Eva-Britt went back down the steps and gently took Lola by the arm. ‘Come along – let’s go inside and celebrate Leo’s homecoming.’