Rocky Mountain Heat

Chapter Fifteen

For long minutes Blake held Jaxi close, the familiar scent of the straw and the tack and the earth itself easing away the frustration and tension of the last hour. Whatever secret Jaxi and Travis shared, it was staying that way for now.

He wasn’t sure he was upset about that either. It seemed there was a lot about Jaxi that was still a mystery. He hadn’t realized how much she’d impacted Travis, how involved Jesse had become while Blake stubbornly pushed her away. His father had been the one to point out her training, and only recently had Blake noticed the way the community rallied around her and looked to her for help.

The bigger question was, did he really know the woman he had fallen in love with?

Blake knew he would work the Coleman ranch after his father. Had always known as the eldest son he had the privilege and responsibility to keep the family together and strong, leading them into the future. For the first time the picture looked a lot larger than just deciding what crops to plant in what fields and when to buy and sell stock. The family needed him to set the pace inside the home as well. Something his father had demonstrated by doing what was right even when it was tough.

A deep sense of remorse hit him. It appeared as if he’d fallen short on his calling in more ways than one.

He stroked his hands over Jaxi’s hair, loving the way she fit against his body perfectly. Loving the smell and the feel and the rightness of her in his arms. There was nothing wrong with their bodies’ reaction to each other, but that was another problem, another mistake he had made. He had let his body dictate his reactions since the beginning of this relationship with Jaxi. First in wanting her and refusing to deal with that truth properly, then giving in too quickly.

After approaching the whole situation wrong, now he would have to pay the price to make things right. He needed to step back so they could progress forward together properly.

Damn, he wanted her. But he wanted what was best for her even more.

Blake cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. Sweetly. When she would have crowded against him and offered more he resisted, holding himself back. It might kill him, but it needed to be done.

“Jaxi, we need a breather. I think what we’ve got happening between us is what we’ve both wanted for a long time, but we need to be sure.” He led her to a bale, then sat across from her to watch her face. Watch the expressions that flitted there for him to see plain as day. The fear written all over her was strong enough to choke off his throat. “Hey. Don’t look like that. I’m not letting you leave the family because you think you’re tearing us apart. We had a misunderstanding as brothers. It’s not the first time, and it’s probably not the last. We’ll get over it and move on.”

Her misery twisted into a small smile. “You guys are good at fighting.”

He nodded, dropping his volume. Trying to put what ached inside him into words. “And I’m not calling us off as a couple—just changing the pace. We’re both guilty of moving too slow for many years, and now we’ve rushed like a Chinook blasting through the area.”

She took in a quick breath, shaky with laughter. “Yeah, that kind of fits. But—Chinook winds blow through fast, and then they’re gone.”

“Oh, hell, I don’t mean that at all. With all my heart I want this to be a forever thing between you and me.”

Jaxi waited. He touched his knuckle to her cheek. “So…I’m going to court you. I’m going to woo you.”

“But I’m already…” She raised a shoulder. “Seems as if you should already know how I feel about you. I told you straight out that I love you. Wooing seems like something you need to do with another woman, not me.”

He clasped her hand in his. “You’ve spent years imagining me the way you wanted, while I was too scared to even be around you for fear of how I’d react. I don’t agree you’ve had enough time to see the real me.”

“I know what you’re like, Blake, I know what kind of man you are.” Jaxi insisted.

“Do you? We haven’t done things together on a regular basis since you were about sixteen. Since I decided having you around me was dangerous.”

A flicker of confusion passed over her face. “Dangerous?”

He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles, his tongue stroking between her fingers. “Uh-huh, way too risky. You weren’t ready for me and I wasn’t ready for you.”

He turned her palm over and pressed a kiss to the center before folding her fingers tight, closing his hand over hers.

“Go on.”

“My idea isn’t something you’ll dislike, Jaxi. I’m talking about spending time together to play and work and just be. I want you to be sure this is real, that it’s not something you’ve dreamed about for so many years you risk everything to see the dream come true.”

She stared at him with those big eyes of hers, silence all around them. His stomach tightened. What if after everything, she decided she didn’t want him? What if giving her time meant in the end he would lose her?

Even though the thought made his gut ache, he realized he loved her enough that he’d give her up. He would miss a piece of his heart forever but if she needed something other than him, he’d let her go.

In the meantime he was going to take his best shot at convincing her to say yes.

Jaxi wrinkled her nose. “So, what does this…wooing…look like to you? Are you going to call at my bedroom door with flowers and chocolates? Escort me to the movies so we can make out in the theater?” She cast her gaze down at their linked fingers. “Are we going to make love?”

Damn, she had to ask that question. His body knew what it wanted, but he didn’t think that was what the answer should be.

“I’ll bring you flowers and chocolates if that’s what you want, only I’ll bring them to the door of the guest cabin. You’re going to move out of the house, and I’ll move back in. You’ll have more privacy there, and yet you’ll be close enough Ma can call you if she needs you.”

Jaxi protested and he laid a finger on her lips. “We can go to the movies, or we can go fishing. We can enjoy long rides and fix fences together, as long as I don’t have to sit in the dirt after every fence post.”

She snorted for a moment, her smile returning.

Blake stroked his hand over her cheek, smoothing her skin, tangling his fingers in her hair before he dropped his lips to hers again. The kiss was deep and needy, a joining together of hearts and souls. Not desperate and hard but desperate and soft. Lingering, caressing and more meaningful than any kiss Blake had ever given or received in his life.

They both drew back at the same time, breaths mingling as they remained inches apart. Blake reached deep for the strength to finish the job he’d begun. “I can’t promise I won’t touch you, but let’s try to keep sex out of this. We don’t have any troubles in the physical compatibility department. We need to see if we’ve got everything else it’s going to take to last forever.”

His thumb stroked her lips tenderly, sweetly. She kissed it and nodded acceptance with little jerks of her head.

Their foreheads rested together, and Blake breathed in her scent, storing the sensation of that moment for the days ahead.

A sudden realization struck him and he snorted. “So, Slick, in the kitchen you made me promise I wouldn’t throw any punches tonight. You planning on explaining that right cross to Travis’s jaw?”

The twinkle returned to Jaxi’s eyes, and she shrugged mischievously, one brow rising high. “You never made me promise not to hit anyone, now did you, Blake Coleman?”

He stood and lifted her, swinging her in circles as their laugher rose to the heavens.