Richard Montanari
Rosary girls

PALM SUNDAY, 11:55 PM

Perhaps there is none

There is a wintry sadness about this one, a deep-rooted melancholy that belies her seventeen years, a laugh that never fully engages any sort of inner joy.

You see them all the time on the street; the one walking alone, books clutched tightly to her breast, eyes cast earthward, ever adrift in thought. She is the one strolling a few paces behind the other girls, content to accept the rare morsel offriendship tossed her way. The one who babysits her way through all the milestones of adolescence. The one who refuses her beauty, as if it were elective.

Her name is Tessa Ann Wells.

She smells like fresh-cut flowers.

"I cannot hear you,"I say.

"… lordaswiddee," comes the tiny voice from the chapel. It sounds as if I have awakened her, which is entirely possible. I took her early Friday morning, and it is now nearly midnight on Sunday. She has been praying in the chapel, more or less nonstop.

It is not a formal chapel, of course, merely a converted closet, but it is outfitted with everything one needs for reflection and prayer.

"This will not do,"I say. "You know that it is paramount to derive meaning from each and every word, don't you?"

From the chapel:"Yes."

"Consider how many people around the world are praying at this very moment. Why should God listen to those who are insincere?"

"No reason."

I lean closer to the door."Would you want the Lord to show you this sort of contempt on the day of rapture?"

"No."

"Good,"Ireply."What decade?"

It takes a few moments for her to answer. In the darkness of the chapel, one must proceed by feel.

Finally, she says:"Third."

"Begin again."

I light the remainder of the votives. I finish my wine. Contrary to what many believe, the rites of the sacraments are not always solemn undertakings, but rather are, many times, cause for joy and celebration.

I am just about to remind Tessa when, with clarity and eloquence and import, she begins to pray once more:

"Hail Mary,full of grace, the Lord is with thee…"

Is there a sound more beautiful than a virgin at prayer?

"Blessed art thou amongst women.. "

I glance at my watch. It is just after midnight.

"And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus…"

It is time.

"Holy Mary, mother of God…"

I take the hypodermic from its case. The needle gleams in the candlelight. The Holy Spirit is here.

"Pray for us sinners…"

The Passion has begun.

"Now and at the hour of our death…"

I open the door and step into the chapel.

Amen.


PART ONE
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