Rush Too Far

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Your room is upstairs now,” I reminded her once we had stepped inside the house and she headed for the kitchen. We still hadn’t spoken. I wasn’t sure what to say to her or even how to talk to her now.

She paused, then turned and headed for the stairs. I couldn’t just let her go like this.

“I tried to stay away from you,” I said.

She stopped and turned to look down at me. The hurt in her eyes was too much. I didn’t want to hurt her. Yet I would be her biggest heartbreak. I hated myself. I hated what I was, who I was.

“That first night, I tried to get rid of you. Not because I disliked you.” I laughed bitterly at the truth. “But because I knew. I knew you’d get under my skin. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away. Maybe I hated you a little bit then because of the weakness you’d be able to find in me.” I had known from the first moment that she was trouble. She’d break me. But I hadn’t known she’d own me.

“What is so wrong with you being attracted to me?” she asked, a tear glistening in the corner of her eye. Shit. I hated knowing she didn’t understand.

“Because you don’t know everything, and I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets. They’re hers. I love her, Blaire. I’ve loved her and protected her all my life. She’s my little sister. It’s what I do. Even though I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets.” If she could just take that as her answer and give me time. All the things I’d done had to be fixed. There had to be a way to right the wrongs.

“I can understand that. It’s OK. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry,” she said in a soft voice. She meant that. She was fucking apologizing. To me. “Good night, Rush,” she said, and turned and left me there.

I let her go. She was telling me it was OK to have my secrets but that I couldn’t have her, too. How would I do this? I had tasted her in my arms. I knew what her smile could do to me and how the way she looked at me controlled my fucking moods. It was like she’d become the sun, and I’d started revolving around her. She was my center.

Yet I was the reason she had lived through hell. I had given her father a place to run to. I had gone to him when he was weak and needed to be with his daughter and his wife. I’d given him somewhere else to go. Another life to walk into. Another daughter to claim and another family to belong to.

And he’d left her. All alone. If I had just cared enough to find out who I was taking him from . . . but I hadn’t cared. I had just wanted to give Nan what she wanted so badly. I hadn’t thought of anyone else. Only Nan. It was always Nan.

Or it had been. It wasn’t anymore.

I couldn’t ignore the truth. Blaire’s happiness and safety meant too much to me. Protecting Nan was no longer my number one priority. Blaire was taking that spot. She had moved right into my life and changed it all. I should hate her for that. But I couldn’t. I would never hate her. That was impossible.

I climbed the stairs and stopped at the door to the bedroom where she was now tucked away. I had wanted her in my bed tonight. But knowing that she was in sleeping in luxury meant I would be able to rest easier. The regret in my chest would be my only companion in bed tonight.

The sound of a phone ringing broke through the sweet darkness, and I forced my eyes open to reach for the offending sound. I had lain awake most of the night. Of course, now that I’d finally fallen asleep, my damn phone had to ring. Grabbing it, I noticed the sun through the blinds. It was later than I thought. Maybe I had been asleep for longer than I’d thought.

“Hello,” I snarled into the phone.

“Are you still asleep?” Woods’s annoying voice didn’t put me in a better mood.

“What do you want?” I asked. It was none of his business if I was still asleep.

“It’s about your sister,” he said.

I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood to wake up and deal with Nan’s problems. I had my own. “What?” I barked.

“If she speaks to Blaire or any of my other employees with disrespect, I’ll make sure her membership is pulled. You may not care that she’s a spoiled brat, but when her venom causes a scene and embarrasses the best server we’ve had in the dining room in months, then it becomes an issue.”

Blaire? What? “What are you saying? Did Nan do something to Blaire? Or one of your servers? I’m confused.”

“Blaire is one of my servers. I moved her to the dining room last week. And your bitch of a sister called her white trash and demanded that I fire her today. In front of everyone.” Woods’s voice was getting louder. He was pissed but nothing close to the level of angry I was dealing with. “I realize you don’t care about Blaire. It’s obvious from the fact that she’s sleeping in your damn pantry. But she’s special. She works hard, and everyone loves her. I won’t allow Nan to hurt her. Do you understand me?”

I didn’t like Woods saying that Blaire was special. I fucking knew she was special, and he needed to back the hell off. And why had he moved her inside from the golf course? Had he wanted her near him? Was that it? As much as I wanted to be relieved that she was out of the heat, the idea that he had moved her inside to be near him infuriated me. And Nan. Fuck. She’d pushed me too far. I was going to have to deal with her. I wasn’t OK with her talking to Blaire that way, either. No one was going to call Blaire names. Ever. Another problem I had to fix. Yet another thing that was my fault.

“Do. You. Understand. Me.” Woods’s voice reminded me that I hadn’t responded to him. If it weren’t for the fact that he was angry over how Blaire was treated, I would remind him exactly who he was talking to. But just this once, I was going to allow him to be angry at me. Because he was right. This was my fault. I’d created the monster my sister had turned into.

“She isn’t in the pantry anymore. I moved her to a bedroom. I’ll deal with Nan,” I told him, then decided he needed to understand something else, too. “Blaire is mine. Don’t touch her. I will kill you. Do you understand me?”

Woods let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. Whatever, Finlay I’m not scared of your threats. The only reason I’m not touching Blaire is that she doesn’t want me. It’s fucking obvious who she wants. So calm the hell down. You’ve had her from the beginning. You sure as hell don’t deserve her, though,” he said, and then the call ended.

Woods thought she wanted me. God, I hoped he was right.

I stood up and called Nan.

“Hello,” she said in an annoyed tone.

“Where are you?” I asked as I headed for the bathroom.

“The club. I’m playing tennis in ten minutes,” she replied.

It would take me thirty minutes to take my shower and get some coffee in me. “My house, thirty minutes,” I said, and hung up, not waiting for her to argue. She knew not to piss me off, and I had no doubt she knew exactly what this was about.

I would make sure my sister left Blaire alone. Then I was going to get Blaire a phone. She needed a damn cell phone. I wanted to make sure she was OK when I didn’t know where she was.

And I was going to cook for her. I wanted to watch her eat. I wanted to feed her. Make up for how badly I’d fucked things up before.

I also didn’t want her sleeping in that bedroom tonight. I wanted her in mine.